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File 126551729261.jpg - (136.48KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Opening_Splash.jpg )
126949 No. 126949 ID: f4963f

It's been a long three days.
Expand all images
>>
No. 126952 ID: 445c48

oh shit Nicquest

I definitely don't remember what happened. I should go reread it.
>>
No. 126953 ID: f4963f
File 126551737777.jpg - (156.48KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Updatings.jpg )
126953

Nicolas and Joel have travelled from the east coast up through the north states. There's been no MIB attacks since the first day out of the city, but Nicolas knows better than to say they've gotten away. Only schmucks say they've gotten away, right before their car explodes from a heat-seeking missile. Nicolas is not a schmuck, just a tremendous nerd.

Some angry drunk chick killed Rastin, but the MIB's still storming around in full force. And they have robots now. Fucking robots. Nicolas only wishes he was kidding. He hopes his shocking gun works against them, cause they're probably too heavy to throw.

LOLCATS is still up thanks to Victor's (alleged) death, but the archive server in Denver seems to have disappeared from the face of the internet. Thousands of humorous captioned pictures disappeared from existence overnight, and none of the new ones are being backed up either. Meanwhile, the hideous mockery of humor known has ROFLDOGS has gained an unexpected popularity boost from its evil corporate sponsorship. If this trend continues, LOLCATs will surely be obliterated.

The last three days have been otherwise uneventful; the stock market's crashing into the burning fires of hell, but Nicolas is still finding ways to pad his accounts. It may have involved a Swiss bank account at some point. His wealth level has gone from DECENT to VERY WEALTHY.

Otherwise, it's been day after day of driving, cheap meals, and off-road motels. Up until this point, they've been making good progress. They're not terribly far from their goal. There's only one hitch in the plan...
>>
No. 126956 ID: f4963f
File 126551743091.jpg - (133.92KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Con_01.jpg )
126956

God damnit.
>>
No. 126958 ID: 445c48

Put the petal to the metal and run their asses over.
>>
No. 126960 ID: 1153ac

>>126956
HERETICS!

Run them down.
>>
No. 126962 ID: 506441

>>126956
HIT THE GAS!!!!
>>
No. 126963 ID: 445c48

Oh, and be sure to shoot that guy on the left as you pass, the guy with the cape or jacket or whatever, I don't like the looks of him.
>>
No. 126964 ID: 6faa8c

>>126956
THEY ARE ALL BUT SPEED BUMPS.
>>
No. 126965 ID: f52552

>>126956
Drive car through blockade.
Power it with PURE RAGE.
>>
No. 126966 ID: 9e9b47

>>126956

Smile and keep the floppy dog on your lap. Maybe we can get out of this...

Alive.
>>
No. 126967 ID: 3416ec

10 pts. each.
>>
No. 126972 ID: 15f6d6

Human bodies cannot stop the power of hate.
>>
No. 126976 ID: 95484a

See if you can mess with whatever's tying down that giant dog balloon with your powers. While they run after it in a panic, just drive by.
>>
No. 126979 ID: 5a2e05

>>126956
Don't kill them, but get those heretical bastards out of the way.
>>
No. 127018 ID: f4963f
File 126552103514.jpg - (112.88KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Con_02.jpg )
127018

>>126958
>>126960
>>126962
>>126964
>>126965
>>126967
>>126972
>RUN THEM DOWN
This is clearly the only reasonable course of action.

"So Joel, you've been behind the driver's wheel a while, and-"

"No," she says.

"But... but they're..."

"No."

Nic sulks into his chair. He can hear their heretical yammering from here. Speakers large enough to make the ground tremble blast 'Who Let The Dogs Out?' on infinite loop - it seems their taste in music is as bad as their taste in websites.
>>
No. 127019 ID: f4963f
File 12655210563.jpg - (77.81KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Con_03.jpg )
127019

>>126966
>Pretend to be one of them.
Of course! Nicolas hastily closes his laptop and pulls Mappy into his lap. Not that he's a dog-lover or anything, but Mappy's alright. As far as dogs go. You know. Mappy's an honorary cat, so it's okay.

>>126976
>Release the balloon!
Now that might get them to move their fat asses. Nicolas does that.
>>
No. 127020 ID: f4963f
File 126552107236.jpg - (137.10KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Con_04.jpg )
127020

The wind begins blowing the dog straight towards the car.
>>
No. 127024 ID: 445c48

Use your powers to shove it to the right.
>>
No. 127025 ID: 95484a

>>127020
Brace yourself.
>>
No. 127027 ID: e3f578

Start cursing to the heavens. The gods are using the narrative to make a mockery out of this situation. You know what we must do Nicolas. We have to get this dog lovin' yappys to get rid of their propaganda spreding t-shirts and I know just the solution.

SUITS. WE MUST PERFORM NEIL PATRICK HARRIS'S SUIT MUSICAL! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_N43GedsfE
>>
No. 127028 ID: cfad4e

Hold Mappy under one arm. Climb up on the roof and car surf your way through. Grab the balloon and pretend you're a macy's float.

Shout incoherently. If anyone asks what you're doing, angrily point at your top hat.
>>
No. 127029 ID: 126d08

>>127020
OH GOD MOVE IT MOVE IT DON'T LET THEM COME THIS WAY
>>
No. 127031 ID: e973f4

>>127028
I love this plan.
>>
No. 127045 ID: 15f6d6

>>127028
This is the only reasonable course of action.
>>
No. 127120 ID: f4963f
File 126552649113.jpg - (64.71KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Con_05.jpg )
127120

>>127027
>Curse the heavens. The narrative hates your guts.
Yes it does, anon. Yes it does.

>>127028
>>127031
>>127045
>Climb on the roof and shout jibberish.
Alright, first of all, Nic's not going to stand around screaming random crap like a /b/tard. The idea has some merit, though. Nicolas begins to climb onto the roof. Joel throws a confused look his way.

"Um, Nic...?"

"Trust me here," he says. "Just keep driving forward, nice and slow."

"Weirdo."

Soon, Nicolas is on top of the car. He grabs the cable of the stray balloon and holds Mappy under his right arm. The eyes of dozens of greasy, unwashed con-goers fix on him, probably the only man who's taken a bath in a half-mile radius.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" he announces, "the entertainment has arrived!" Wow, all those hours of shouting 'OBJECTION!' to his DS came in handy. His voice really projects.

One of the bewildered technicians turns down that infernal blaze spewing from the sound system. The car begins to move slowly forward, and the crowd, now at full attention, parts for it. Excellent. Nicolas might get out of here alive after all. Though as the car moves forward, it occurs to him that he doesn't know exactly what he should do next.
>>
No. 127130 ID: e3f578

Perfect, we have their attention. Now is the time to get the narrative on your side with my earlier plan. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbBs2OcR8a8

I know what you’re thinking
What’s Barney been drinking?
That girl was smoking hot
Yes I coulda nailed her
But no it’s not a failure
‘Cuz there’s one thing she is not
To score a ten would be just fine
But I’d rather be dressed to the nines
It’s a truth you can’t refute
Nothing suits me like a suit
Picture a world where all the girls and boys
Are impeccably well dressed
That delivery guy in the jacket and tie
That puppy in the double-breast
That ’80s dude in mutton chops
That baby with a lollipop
That lady cop who’s kinda cute
Nothing suits ‘em like a suit
Wingman I can wear
They’re oh so debonair
The perfect way to snare
a girl with daddy issues
In navy blue or black
Check out this perfect rack
I want to give them a squeeze
Oh really?...
>>
No. 127134 ID: 6faa8c

>>127130
Uhm.

The start of that song.

Uhm.

Just no. I'd rather not our partner shoot us.
>>
No. 127135 ID: 95484a

>>127120
Nothing to it. Just spout a bunch of empty, meaningless rhetoric until you're past. "The truth is clear," "a new day is ahead," crap like that.
>>
No. 127139 ID: e3f578

>>127134
No, obviously Noel will play the part of one of Barney's friends. Likely the one asking about all the wealth... hell she'll probably be barney because its obvious how much she loves suits more than Nic.

OR do you love suits more than her?
>>
No. 127141 ID: e3f578

and by than him/her I meant your love for suits in comparison.
>>
No. 127145 ID: 126d08

Sing a variety of musicals and showtunes.
>>
No. 127215 ID: 8ecfd4

>>127120
Start singing the dog part of "Cats" you know with the dog gang wars. That should get them going.
>>
No. 127323 ID: 5a2e05

>>127130
...do not sing about suits. These are dog people!
>>
No. 131746 ID: f4963f
File 126620921295.jpg - (136.56KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Con_06.jpg )
131746

>sing about suits
Nicolas loves his suits, but he thinks Joel likes them more. He's pretty sure she wouldn't like the song, though. Maybe for Neil Pattrick Harris factor - /maybe/. That ice is too thin, Nic decides he's gonna go elsewhere.

>musicals and showtunes
Now this is Nic's area of comfort. Nicolas psychics a stray microphone over into his hand and begins to sing. It's a song that has nothing to do with dogs, but the crowd doesn't seem to care. Behind Nic, Tyrael's car crawls along at a snail's pace. It looks like the guy's rather disinterested in the whole affair.
>>
No. 131747 ID: f4963f
File 12662092386.jpg - (114.60KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Unterwegs_01.jpg )
131747

Eventually they've gotten through the con (though not with nearly as many flattened dog-lovers as Nic would have liked), and Nic climbs into the car. Joel turns up the music, and they begin driving.

"W-well, that was certainly a... creative way to get past them," says Joel.

"It worked, didn't it?" asks Nic.

"You don't see me complaining."

About fifteen minutes of awkwardly quiet driving ensue. Sonata Tropica plays quietly on the CD player; behind them, Tyrael steers almost boredly.

"So we-we're about five days from Denver, if the roads stay this bad?" Joel asks.

"I'd say so, yeah," says Nicolas.

"Damn."
>>
No. 131770 ID: 0e9167

>>131747
Play "Red car, blue car" on the way down. For every red car you see, you get a point. For every blue car she sees, she gets a point.
>>
No. 131778 ID: 632862

>>131770
Cheat by making every car red. All of them. Go "Oh wow, this is such a coincidence."
>>
No. 131791 ID: f4963f
File 126621508073.jpg - (120.20KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Unterwegs_02.jpg )
131791

>>131770
>>131778
>Red Car, Blue Car
>But illusion them all red
There's nothing better to do. Joel says sure.

After about five red cars in a row and Nicolas' constipated expression of UTMOST CONCENTRATION, Joel calls his bluff. What are these fucking illusion powers supposed to be good for anyway?

Nicolas resigns himself to waiting, making small talk, and listening to music - mostly European metal groups he's never heard of, but also a few musicals and The Beatle's blue album. Joel and Nicolas stop at a few gas stations and fast food joints to stuff their faces with unhealthy, salty food - Tyrael expresses his distaste and orders the least artery-clogging foods on the menu. He makes sure to critique every sandwich he gets.

Nicolas and Joel stop eating at sammich places.

Along the way, Nicolas takes an opportunity to mentally go over the group's inventory. It's been a few days, and he has the funny (genre-savvy) feeling that there's going to be swarms of MIB in Colorado. Because that's how it always goes. Because the heroes can't get a break. Even if the big bad's already dead. Somehow.

Nicolas has a Magic'd up Derringer that can pierce through both heavy physical and magical protection, which delivers an electric shock; he has a pair of glasses that can detect magic, a fact he apparently keeps forgetting. They're supposed to be beta versions, and he's supposed to report his findings back to Ignometics. It's a pretty sweet deal.

His suit is magically reinforced to resist attack; he's also wearing an undercover bulletproof vest underneath. Joel is outfitted similarly.

Nicolas has a weird loaf of bread with magic runes on it which has some sort of magic on it, but damn if he can figure out what. Skimbleshanks tried to bite into it the other day. Apparently the thing's hard as a rock. If its power is 'obnoxiously difficult to eat', Nicolas will be sorely disappointed.

Nicolas also has two cure potions; they come in three-packs, and he used one to restore Joel's wounds after she got into a fight with her ex-partner, Bubbles. Who is an overqualified MIB mook who likes... bubblegum. Yes, it's stupid. Nic ponders what sort of person earns a nickname and reputation based on such a trivial and stupid fact as an enjoyment of chewing bubble gum.

In addition to Nic's inventory, Joel is holding onto the machine pistol that Nicolas ganked from the MIB at the beginning of his misadventure. She's also got a Glock-pistol of some kind that's supposed to be real accurate. She's the gun geek, he's not gonna step on her toes about that. Then he also gave her the thaumic disruptor to hold onto; this thing's supposed to break up psychic attacks and dismiss psychic abilities for a while. It's basically Dispel Magic in the shape of a ray gun; the thing says it has 4 charges left.

When asked what sort of inventory Tyrael brought with him, Tyrael only replies 'my stunning beauty'. Yeah, thanks Tyrael.

Speaking of Tyrael, that Cat-Pig... Devil... thing has stopped chasing Nicolas around. Tyrael says he hasn't had time to devote his brilliant mind to the task of deciphering the thing's meaning. Nicolas is pretty sure this means that Tyrael doesn't know jack shit about it. Oh well. Sweet nightmares, Tyrael.

SO. It's going to be a few days until Nicolas and Joel hit Colorado. When it does, if the universe runs by any narrative causality at all, interesting shit's gonna be going down. If there's anything the party wants to stock up on before they get to Colorado, now's the time to do it.
>>
No. 131797 ID: e3f578

So the little bugger's following Tyreal around now, eh? Consider buying a musical instrument to the fray of battle that Tyreal could use. His charm should prove him to be a decent bard. I guess we could stop at Ignometrics again, see if we can really beef up before the final boss at Colorado. The shops closest to the final area always has the best shit available.

Hell, if they carry magical instruments, we could bust the MiB to kingdom come with the power of music from you three just rockin' so hard.
>>
No. 131802 ID: 0e9167

>>131797
I am seconding getting Tyrael a magical instrument, if available.

Also the bread CAN'T have the magical property of "hard to eat." French Baguettes have that covered. It doesn't take magic. I suggest using it as a throwing weapon.

Also, just keep an eye out for MIBs. Disguising your car as a minivan will surely help sneak past any random encounters.
>>
No. 131823 ID: 8ecfd4

>>131791
Go and get more stuff enchanted. You have all that cash just laying around. It should be used to enchant the shit out of our stuff and make sure we can bring down giant mechas with ridiculous ease.
>>
No. 131853 ID: 107da3

>>131791

The bread and the evil pig-dog thing may be related. What with the fact that evil creatures from beyond and apocalyptic items go hand in hand.

Also, don't forget your enchanted hat. You won't take a bullet to the face so easily.
>>
No. 132082 ID: 620bfb

The bread is obviously dwarven battle-bread.
>>
No. 132089 ID: 8ecfd4

>>132082
Well that makes it one of the most deadly weapons known. Nic, save it until you meet an impossible to beat boss. Then you will know what to do with it.
>>
No. 139485 ID: f4963f
File 126725738634.jpg - (141.11KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Unterwegs_03.jpg )
139485

>Go and get more stuff enchanted. You have all that cash just laying around. It should be used to enchant the shit out of our stuff and make sure we can bring down giant mechas with ridiculous ease.
>I guess we could stop at Ignometrics again, see if we can really beef up before the final boss at Colorado. The shops closest to the final area always has the best shit available.

Yes, yes they do. And Nic's loaded for it. Nicolas marks down the location of the Ignometics nearest Denver, as it's most likely to have the best loot.

>The bread? I suggest using it as a throwing weapon.
>The bread and the evil pig-dog may be related.
>The bread is obviously dwarven battle-bread.

Just how hard is this bread, anyway?

... apparently hard enough to leave a dent in Tyrael's sports car. Um. Um. Um.
>>
No. 139494 ID: cb0c15

>>139485
Blame the dog-lovers!
>>
No. 139510 ID: bcf25c

>>139485

HOLY BALLS. TEST IT OUT ON THE BUILDING BEHIND YOU.
>>
No. 139514 ID: 8ecfd4

>>139485
Car metal isn't really the hardest of materials around. Throw it at that building behind you instead.
>>
No. 139520 ID: 393d7d

>>139485
Kill the "Save Walrus" poster with your battle bread.

Also use your Telekinesis to try and undent Tyrael's car. Seriously, why the hell did you hit your buddy's car? Seriously. Dick move yo.
>>
No. 139524 ID: 8d7dd2

>>139485

Pfft, Tyrael can afford to be taken down a few pegs.

Still, regardless of what you do with the car, try looking at the bread with those glasses of magic detection. See what it looks like.

If we haven't shown the bread to Ignometics yet, we really should. "Bread that can end the world" and all.
>>
No. 139539 ID: e3f578

The Bread Battler achievement! Defeat the final boss with only a loaf of bread! Thing is it's probably the best weapon in the game.

Really we're just getting a badass guitar for Tyreal though, so Igometrics is still necessary.
>>
No. 139803 ID: 632862

Try telekinesis to undent the car.
>>
No. 140094 ID: 601a90

my genre sense tells me you will deflect the final FINAL boss's attack with it and it will finally crack open granting you power to defeat him..... or some shit like that
>>
No. 140095 ID: 445c48

>>139485
Try calling ahead to confirm that they have the best loot. They might not, after all, to punish Genre savvy characters for being genre savvy.
>>
No. 143265 ID: cfad4e

>>139803
Definitely this!

Also, be on the lookout for dusty stores with knickknacks and antiques in search of magical items of a less technological nature.

Of course, it's not like you can recognize magic on sight OH WAIT YES YOU CAN!
>>
No. 143299 ID: f4963f
File 126794029011.jpg - (158.39KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Unterwegs_04.jpg )
143299

>>139510
>>139520
Nicolas decides to act on his hitherto-unknown hatred for walls and their walrus kin. Despite his pansy-ass STR score, the damage is quite delicious.

>Undent the car with psychic powers
Nicolas does his best.

>Let's buy Tyrael an awesome magic guitar!
This is clearly the best use of our resources. Nicolas explains the situation to Tyrael.

"Why, of course I'd love a magic guitar," says Tyrael. "No instrument is too good for my hands. At least, that's what my girlfriends say~"

"Yeah, too much info," says Nic.

>Look for magic knick-knacks that nobody realizes are actually magical.
That's... pretty clever, actually. Nicolas makes a note to himself for later.
>>
No. 143300 ID: f4963f
File 126794030597.jpg - (160.56KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Douchebag.jpg )
143300

>Call ahead!
A prudent choice. Nicolas looks up the phone number and calls them.

"Good evening," replies a calm voice at the other end. "Welcome to the first branch of the MIB magical accessories shop. I'm afraid that the former Ignometics staff are unavailable at the time, but we are very interested in your business all the same. How may I help you?"
>>
No. 143302 ID: 4b1405

>>143300
Roll with it. "Hey, do you have any magical guitars, by chance? I have a friend who was interested in jamming with some arcane back up."
>>
No. 143303 ID: cfad4e

Ask for their hours.

Do the look-around-for-magic thing, buy or rent a shitty van, and drive it in through their front door and then shoot all the guys inside with a machine gun.
>>
No. 143310 ID: 601a90

THOSE SON OF A BITCHES! they must die.
>>
No. 143311 ID: e3f578

Oh awesome~! The final area shop was taken over by baddies, making it the sup-up your characters side mission near the end of the game ergo Chrono Trigger! That means instead of buying the awesome shit, we get to fuck up some minibosses and get on with the character development while not taking up too much time in the process!
>>
No. 143313 ID: f4963f
File 126794211029.jpg - (159.49KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Douchebag_02.jpg )
143313

>Roll with it, ask if they have magic guitars.
"Hey. Do you have magic instruments? I could use a wireless electric guitar. One that shoots lightning and death. I'm ready to pay a lot of money to make this happen."

"Ha! You're one of those fags who comes here to buy self-cleaning dental floss, aren't you? Let me tell you, the days of Ignometics creating super-bouncy-balls and pizza that stays warm when you leave it out? Are gone. We're the future, faggot, and the future is weapons."

Nicolas leers at his phone.

"God, I can't believe how much crap some of these guys were wasting their time on. A cell phone that doesn't run out of energy? Just plug in your cell at night, faggots! I mean, fuck, who wastes that much money on overpriced toys, right? Thankfully, we got em working for us now. We're gonna mass-produce the shit out of these new weapons and take over the central US. Oh, but... you wouldn't care. You're here for faggy things. Faggot."
>>
No. 143314 ID: e31d52

>>143313
"I'm sorry I wasted your time." Hang up like the gentleman you are, Nic.
>>
No. 143315 ID: 4b1405

>>143313
Its a wonder such a poor customer service rep managed to possibly get a job working a telephone. Tell him that an electric guitar that shoots lightning would be the best weapon, and then hang up.
>>
No. 143316 ID: cfad4e

"What part of 'I have money' are you not getting?"

When he replies, cut him off. "Never mind. Thank you." Then hang up to cut him off again.

Machine gun -> Van -> Storefront
>>
No. 143318 ID: e3f578

"I'll have you know that a magical guitar that could carry the wraith of the gods upon one's enemies when a sufficiently righteous solo is performed qualifies as a weapon."
>>
No. 143320 ID: 445c48

Say good bye, then call a closer store.
>>
No. 143328 ID: 601a90

no, we need to invade and destroy the MIB at this place. quick. if they actually get that place running we will have guys in magic power-armor on our asses.
>>
No. 143351 ID: 632862

Ah, screw it. Just give an irritated "Fine. Bye." and hang up.
>>
No. 143408 ID: 8ecfd4

>>143313
Oh he and his faggy friends are fucking dead. Calmly hang up then give Joel a look that promises burning death for someone in the future and tell here that you're going to a store to fuck up some shitheads and loot some motherfucking awesome magical weapons. Then step on it and fuck up their shit.
>>
No. 143462 ID: 476456

>>143313

"an electric guitar that shoots lightning and death is a weapon."
>>
No. 200386 ID: 49f18c
File 127775395492.jpg - (135.35KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Give_em_Hell_01.jpg )
200386

>>143320
>Find another branch
Unfortunately, this is the only branch in the area! Besides, a lover of justice can't let this continue, can they?

>>143328
>>143408
>>143316
>These guys are so dead.
Damn straight! Nicolas wants flying cars and self-heating pizza, and these assholes want to use incredible technological achievements for taking over the world. Idiots.

"I'm sorry to hear that you don't have any idea of how awesome a guitar that shoots lightning and death would be. I hope you recover from your head injury soon."

"Whatever, cocksucker. Enjoy your shit-tier weaponry." Before Nicolas can reply, the guy on the other end has hung up.

Nicolas quickly reviews his inventory. He has plenty of ADVENTURING GEAR in the back of his car, everything from flares to 50 feet of rope to trail rations. Nicolas always remembers rations. The party also has a TOMMY GUN, two CURE POTIONS, and a THAUMIC DISRUPTOR with it. It also has WEIRD INEDIBLE RUNE BREAD.

Nicolas is equipped with a magically enhanced Derringer Pistol that can pierce cover and deliver electric shocks; Joel has a machine pistol. Tyrael informs Nicolas that he has a katana.

"Y-You fight armed gunmen with a... what?" Asks Joel. "That's... stupid."
"No, that's awesome," says Nicolas.

Nicolas has no idea how many MIBs are in the building or how well defended it is. He does know that a typical Ignometics building is about the size of a small office building with perhaps seven, eight floors, a large lobby, and multiple research labs.

He begins to formulate a plan of attack.
>>
No. 200387 ID: c2c011

>>200386
Have Tyrael ram his car through the front entrance and fuck their shit up. While he distracts them you and Joel find a backdoor and start taking out any MiBs that you run into. Don't stop until everyone is dead.
>>
No. 200394 ID: 059120

>>200386
Okay, they're basically a magical weapons factory, right? And also a shop. Use that against them. Go there, shop, ask to see some merchandise, steal it, and use it to take over the building and get MORE weapons. It's a classic plan.
>>
No. 200402 ID: 6a5a08

>>200394
This plan is so simple and logical, it couldn't possibly go wrong.
>>
No. 200405 ID: 5a2e05

>>200386
Ask him if it is a MAGIC katana. This is important. Even if it isn't, the only weapon you really need is the dwarven battle bread.
>>
No. 200407 ID: c2c011

>>200405
That and telekinesis, when the first mook is slowly impaled on the bread the rest are sure to crap their pants and surrender. Or open fire. In either case it's gonna be awesome.
>>
No. 200440 ID: 49f18c
File 127776172371.jpg - (100.63KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Goddamnit_Poster.jpg )
200440

>>200394
>Pose as customers, get weapons, takeover.
This is an amazing plan. Nicolas furthermore thinks he could facilitate an illusion disguise for any single member of the party at his current skill level. Endurance shouldn't be an issue.

>>200402
>This plan is so simple and logical, it couldn't possibly go wrong!
... Nicolas wants to make one thing clear to you, poster 6a5a08. You just screwed us over. Poster number 6a5a08, Nicolas wants you to know that he is going to blame YOU if anything goes wrong. Not /tg/, not movie tropes, no. You. Just so you know.

>Ask him if it's a magic katana!
Tyrael replies that it is indeed magical, though he gets a big vague about what magical properties it actually possesses. He begins waxing poetic.

>Crash Tyrael's car into the front entrance!
Tyrael's very opposed to his sports car being used as a battering ram. After some work from Nic's CHARM stat, he finally concedes that he could go through with the plan if Nicolas is willing to PAY FOR THE SPORTS CAR, PLUS COMPENSATION. And only if he gets to look PARTICULARLY AWESOME while doing it.
>>
No. 200442 ID: a6008c

>>200440
Forget the battering ram plan, you need to disguise Tyrael as the Pope and send him in to buy holy grenades.
>>
No. 200444 ID: 059120

>>200440
Hm. If you can only illusion one person, it may be best to do both. Go in illusioned, get to the weaponry, and then signal Tyrael to smash in as a distraction. Besides, if we can take over this place FUNDS should not be an issue.
>>
No. 200445 ID: a594b9

>>200440
Nah, let's not trash the car. That's a monetary drain we can't really afford.

hmmm. Obviously you need a disguise, Nic. I'm not sure if your other friends are as well known...
>>
No. 200456 ID: e3f578

Personally I think we should ask them to make us an A-Team vehicle decked out with weapons then go crashing through each and every room with it, including the support beams. Why? Well that poster just ruined the entire earlier plan so we might as well completely wreck the building and loot all the magical items from the ruins.

There we go, a completely updated plan that. we have absolutely no chance at winning. We should just give up. WAIT! No, giving up is FOR COWARDS! Are we mice? OR CATS! plus Mappy!
>>
No. 200515 ID: 6a5a08

>>200442
>>200456
Combine these. Go in as the Pope, buy and A-Team vehicle, and proceed to destroy the building and loot all super powerful weaponry.

>>200440
'S what I'm here for.
>>
No. 204188 ID: f4963f
File 127844107575.jpg - (135.47KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Give_Em_Hell_02.jpg )
204188

>>200456
>>200515
>>200444
>>200445

"Joel, change of plans. We need an A-Team van."
Joel stares blankly at Nicolas for a moment. "... w-what, for taking back Ignometics?"
"Right! Well, actually, I'd like to scout the area and get my hands on some of the stuff first..."
Joel nods. "Um. Um. They probably sell to civilians for ridiculous prices, but... the really good stuff is probably only for MiBs. I could... I could give you my badge. Or... we could go together. Th-they might have deleted me from the system, but I don't know. I mean, Rastin died. And there was that crazy shotgun chick. It's... it's kind of chaotic right now." She pauses. "... but seriously, an A-Team van?"
>>
No. 204190 ID: f4963f
File 127844109979.jpg - (179.85KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Battle_Maps.jpg )
204190

Joel eventually relents on the van issue, and after a half hour, they find a disreputable-looking dealer who specializes in large, unmarked vehicles. At Joel's insistence, Nic pays with cash. Nicolas' Wealth level drops from Very Wealthy to Wealthy, and he has obtained the A-TEAM VAN. The thing's in bad shape, but with a liberal application of Ignometic's prototype duct tape, it's in top shape again.

Nicolas combines the two plans. He'll enter the Ignometics building with a DISGUISE and attempt to get his hands on POWERFUL WEAPONRY and INTEL. Tyrael will be waiting outside in the A-TEAM VAN, and is to break in the front doors if shit goes down. Tyrael's SPORTS CAR and Nic's MERCEDES will be parked around the corner.

Nicolas can begin now. He just needs to decide if he's going to try to impersonate an MIB, and whether or not he should take Joel with him.
>>
No. 204195 ID: 6a5a08

Compromise: Impersonate Joel while Joel impersonates an MIB, this impersonating an MIB indirectly.
>>
No. 204197 ID: c2c011

>>204190
Lets get on it. And impersonate either Ingvar Kamprad or Bill Gates. Someone who is filthy rich.
>>
No. 204202 ID: e3f578

>>204190
What? No, we impersonate Rudy Mann who has recently signed on to the MiB to fuck shit up. All you'd have to do is swish an MiB ID card at the workers and they would probably too afraid to check for credentials and just go with it to avoid the Mann's wrath.

There were sightings in Kara Quest, so he's at large somewhere in the country and the MiB would be well aware of it, if they're not stupid enough to ignore one of the most powerful creatures in the city that could take down Rastin no problem.

Think of it, Rudy Mann working with the A-Team
>>
No. 204228 ID: c2c011

>>204202
Shit, this is just so awesome it might work. And we already have a sweet top hat. Rudy Mann plan motherfucking GO!
>>
No. 204332 ID: a594b9

>>204190
Impersonate MiB, have Joel be the one that does the talking since she actually has a badge she can show. Unless... do you think you could illusion up a badge close enough so you can just flash it? Either way should work.
>>
No. 204767 ID: f4963f
File 127856612121.jpg - (160.20KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Give_Em_Hell_03.jpg )
204767

>Impersonate an MIB
Nicolas is a very wanted man. He changes his appearance and takes Joel with him. Within an hour, they're outside the Ignometics on the edge of Denver.

It's hardly recognizable as an Ignometics. The friendly sign and advertisements for various products have been removed; in their place is a massive sign that reads 'MIB THAUMETICS' and a video screen constantly flickering propaganda. The research labs off to the side have been converted into windowless factories that billow smoke into the sky. Helicopters patrol the skies. Joel hesitates in the face of the massive structure. A hint of despair plays across her face.
"... I think... I think we might be in over our heads."
"We probably are," says Nicolas. "We probably have been from the beginning. ... if you want out now, I understand. We have the van, and I know Tyrael won't want it. We don't really need to carpool anymore."
"You know I couldn't do that," says Joel instantly. She hesitates. "... the Mercedes is more comfortable."

Nicolas looks up at the dismal building for one last moment, then pushes the double-doors open.
>>
No. 204768 ID: f4963f
File 127856613727.jpg - (177.65KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Thaumetics_01.jpg )
204768

The interior of the Thaumetics lab is more massive than Nicolas had expected. The place has been scrubbed clean, to the point where the very air smells sterile. Two massive monitors throw up propaganda and data in a seemingly haphazard pattern, creating noise that's not quite loud enough to drown out a quiet, background humming. In addition to the massive interior, Nicolas can make out a handful of magical auras with his glasses - the hovering tank in the corner, the guys in the big metal suits. Some of the pipes seem to be glowing with magic as well - can you actually pipe magical essence?

Nicolas and Joel are given a few glances from the staff as they enter, but nobody moves to stop them - it looks like they've entered undetected. In the right-hand corner, an unpleasant-looking Sweeper is manning the reception desk - this must be the same guy who answered the phone.
>>
No. 204770 ID: df7322

tell them you were assigned to testing an extremely dangerous and untested new weapon, and the higher ups said to get more details here.
>>
No. 204774 ID: a6008c

>>204768
Hmm... we must proceed with grace. Caution. And much care. This is a very dangerous area, and we can't afford to get caught.

Go up to the surly guy and demand he make you a guitar that shoots lightning! That bastard has no idea just how cool that would be I mean seriously, the hell is wrong with him tell him you are from management and have been getting complaints about his customer service record.
>>
No. 204790 ID: e3f578

I see, so the Mann plan will be an ace in the hole when we need it. Very well. It's important to pretend you are an important Dragon character. When you ask for access to the secret labs, have a straight face and dark voice, almost as if you have a secret past you're brooding about 24/7.

Dragon characters would only have such access, and if Joel's caught, the ability to handwave her presence as though she intended to betray you all along and report in. Also, it should be understandable that no one has seen you yet because the Dragon isn't visually revealed till near the climax anyway, or at least elaborated on in detail. The brooding aspect will ensure that this moment is your time to shine in the spotlight because you've been saving it for so long.

Man, speaking of Dragons... it makes me wonder what's going to be the final boss when we get to the lolcats facility with Rastin dead. That character Victor was talking about would be a likely candidate, with Charles back of course and Victor with a Rebreather in a wheelchair to function normally. No, you'll likely meet them in this facility. Be prepared Nic, natually, you are you magnificent bastard.
>>
No. 204840 ID: a594b9

>>204770
That sounds about right. We look like low-level grunts so it would make sense that the MiB would use us for testing the experimental stuff.
>>
No. 204898 ID: c2c011

>>204768
Tell them that you have been sent to assess progress and see what kind of cool weapons they have come up with.

Make sure you find a way to get a look at the blue prints of the hover tank and the robots. Check the blueprints for any weak spots that could be taken out with telekinetics, you know like making the AI overheat by shutting down the ventilation or something. Then ask if there are any known problems with them.
>>
No. 205927 ID: f4963f
File 127879915575.jpg - (115.54KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Thaumetics_02.jpg )
205927

>Management! Complaints about customer service.
>Important character, ask for secret lab access. Speaking of which, who's gonna be there?
>We're here to assess progress. Find flaws!

Nicolas thinks he can combine these. He walks up to the reception desk with a cold demeanor and leans forward like he owns the place. He manages to get a glimpse of the man's name on the schedule behind him. Guido? Seriously? This will be too fun.
"Hello... Guido. I'm from upper management, and this is my assistant, Joel. I'm supposed to check out the labs and assess your... progress."
Guido fiddles with his popped collar. One of the nearby guards begins watching Nicolas and Joel as well. The douchebag nervously begins working the computer. "So, like... there's no inspection today. Stop being a faggot troll."
"That's what we call a surprise inspection, Guido" replies Nicolas. "And stop browsing 4chan. It's bad for your health."
"How'd you know I- gah, whatever. Can I see your ID? I need to, like... scan it."
Shit. What do?
>>
No. 205929 ID: a594b9

>>205927
Give him your driver's license, illusion it to look legit, then illusion the computer screen to make it look like it scanned properly.
>>
No. 205937 ID: 940a91

>>205929
sounds good.
>>
No. 205942 ID: e3f578

I'd personally just illusion my eyes into something incredably powerful and demonic, take off my glasses, and say "This is my ID right here, pal. Obey or get your ass fried for incompetence. May I remind you how replaceable you are? It's why the life and health insurance is shitty. To save expenses."

Then again there is the whole sensible and less risky "just illusion up your drivers license" thing. Except he has to scan it, I think that means he's going to check it for barcode identification using the computer. Only Joel could possibly pass if she hasn't been removed from the system. That would mean that if her face comes up on the monitor if you use her exact barcode, you have a split second to change her face to your disguise before Guido here notices. I think you can manage both the disguise and that and the ID, but it still is a lot of concentration and Magic Points.

At least you have your charm stat for the intimidate the fuck out of Guido. You may even piss his pants if you make your eyes scary enough. Your a Dragon of the not literal type after all and should be powerful and intimidating (unless we are so going for a literal pun with that trope).
>>
No. 205953 ID: a594b9

>>205942
The problem with swiping Joel's ID is that she's not upper management. Also, she's got the ID and it would look a LITTLE suspicious if we had to get 'our' ID from her.
>>
No. 205958 ID: e3f578

>>205953
There's a problem in that swiping our drivers license won't even show up on the computer when swiped. Like I said, one could illusion the screen to look like you have upper management access. It's a very small time frame but Nic could probably miraculously manage that time frame because of his protagonist status. But the whole getting Joel's id is suspicious the driver's license won't work on the computer at all. Nic's charm stat will have to work the suspicion away or intimidate Guido with scary eyes.

Nic, to get Joel's ID just snap and say "Joel, my ID please." to allude that she is your assistant and carrying your personal items.
>>
No. 205985 ID: c2c011

>>205927
Use illusions to make him think it's all legit and ok. And make it clear to him that you're pissed off that he is doubting your credibility. Keep him focused on you and what you might do to him rather than your id.
>>
No. 205987 ID: 6a5a08

Cast "THESE ARE NOT THE DROIDS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR" on GUIDO.
>>
No. 206538 ID: f4963f
File 127889733757.jpg - (120.64KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Thaumetics_03.jpg )
206538

>Magic points, endurance, mind tricks
Nicolas should probably remind you that his little shard of supercrystal unlocked telekinetic and illusory powers. His telekinetic powers are more advanced, though both have made good progress. Early in his adventure, Nicolas had endurance problems, but those have basically gone away with practice. Nicolas will tell you if endurance starts to become a factor. For the record, it hasn't yet.

>Swipe Driver's License
>And then get his total attention
Nicolas makes a big show of rolling his eyes as he reaches for his pocket. "Do you know who I am, you little brat? I can't believe you're carding me."
"Well, like... it's procedure and stuff? Besides, your hair looks faggy. Like you're some faggot from faggotland. Who fags around. Because he's a fag."
Nicolas ignores the bizarre commentary about his sexuality and hands over the illusioned card, which Guido accepts even a glance. As he's about to slide it in, Nicolas leans forward and removes his glasses. "Guido," he says sternly, "let's talk about your customer service record."
"Uh...?" Guido swipes the card, but his attention is drawn. An error beep sounds, but by the time he looks back, the screen has changed. Nicolas has no idea how the user interface works, so he has to improvise. "... I have, uh. Tourette's Syndrome. Fag. Faggy faggot."
Nicolas just stares at Guido. Stares right into his soul.
"... o-okay, maybe I don't," he says.
Nicolas keeps staring. All the nearby guards fall quiet. Nicolas sticks his card back in his wallet. "Guido," he says, drawing out the name, "You like your job, don't you?"
"Uh... y-yeah? Yeah, totally."
"Good," says Nicolas. He smirks. Guido squirms. "It would be a shame if I had to talk to your supervisor."
"Her?! Y-yeah. Yeah, okay. Sure." His breath is shallow. "... a-anyway, here's today's codes for Lab A and the elevator. Um. You'll find Tamana up in the old research labs, on floor... fuck, I can't remember." He gets out a shiny red binder. "... floor 20. Which is the, uh... 19th button. The 19th floor... there is no 19th floor. It kinda got majick'd away. The, uh. Stairs go straight from the 18th floor to the 20th."
This is definitely a former Ignometics building. "Alright," says Nicolas, giving an insincerely polite nod. "Thank you, Guido."
>>
No. 206540 ID: 93151f

he probably pissed himself, good job.
>>
No. 206545 ID: 620bfb

See, this is why CHA is not a dump stat. Excellent.
>>
No. 206549 ID: a594b9

>>206538
Make sure to dispel the illusion once he tries to cancel out of that screen you put up. Make sure there's nothing that stays on the monitor like "INVALID SWIPE" that will cue him in.

Just say "Come along now, Joel." and let's get moving on in.
>>
No. 206558 ID: c2c011

>>206538
Lets go check out what they have in Lab A then. Lets hope for an awesome guitarr that you can use to actually melt faces when you play facemelting riffs on it.
>>
No. 206559 ID: 6a5a08

No 19th floor? Musta been build by the guys who made Wayside.

Anyways, let's head over to floor 20 to get our overpowered gear.
>>
No. 206599 ID: 059120

>>206538
...Tamana? Tyreal's sister Tamana? What is she doing here?
>>
No. 206691 ID: 6547ec

If you can, leave some sort of illusion up over the screen until you leave. Either just what you saw on the screen earlier, or make him think it blue-screened on him. Better safe than sorry.
>>
No. 206699 ID: e3f578

When you enter the elevator, try and give a horrible evil smile or grin to cement the fact that you're planning something epic and are totally a fantastic badass working for the MiB.
>>
No. 208965 ID: 5eabae

>>206699
This is absolutely necessary.
>>
No. 209325 ID: f4963f
File 127938880979.jpg - (114.33KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Thaumetics_04.jpg )
209325

>Dispel the illusion when he cancels out
>Check out what they have in Lab A
>Head up to floor 20 to get gear
>Tamana?!
>Illusion the screen or BSOD it!
>When you enter the elevator, try and give a horrible grin.

There seems to be some disagreement. To be clear; Nicolas is pretty sure that WEAPON PRODUCTION AND TESTING is in LAB A; Guido's SUPERVISOR, and presumably the person in charge right now, is TAMANA, who's on floor...

Wait a minute. That's the same name that the waitress at the SEVEN DEADLY SAMMICHES had, wasn't it? Their meeting was brief, and mostly consisted of her being snarky after the front wall of the store had been blown up by previous customers. Nicolas quickly rejects the idea that it's two different people with the same name. THE UNIVERSE does not work that way. But what's Tamana doing here? Should he tell Tyrael? Should he confront her directly?

At this point, there seem to be two obvious choices of action: Nicolas could CHECK OUT LAB A and investigate the weapons that Thaumetics is producing, or NIcolas could CHECK OUT FLOOR 20 of the Ignometics building and investigate this Tamana matter.

In any event, Nicolas cleans up the illusory mess with Guido as he cancels out of the screen.
>>
No. 209326 ID: 3b42be

lab a first.
>>
No. 209328 ID: 059120

>>209325
Well, don't tell Tyrael. Pride and Envy are probably the two that would get along least, and the earlier conversation they had supports that. Hmm. We're here to try and get weapons so we can take over the place, and meeting more people increases the chance our cover will be blown. I'd like to see what's up with her, but we should go after the weapons first. I'm sure she will still get to be the boss fight.
>>
No. 209331 ID: e1d940

>>209325
Check out the Lab first. See if there's anything sufficiently dangerous we can hijack before we SLAUGHTER EVERYTHING.
>>
No. 209370 ID: c2c011

>>209325
Lab and weapons first of course!
>>
No. 209995 ID: f4963f
File 127951334887.jpg - (161.14KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Thaumetics_05.jpg )
209995

>Lab and weapons first!
This is the obvious choice. Nicolas lets himself into Lab A, with Joel following a small distance behind. He's sure to throw Guido an evil grin as the doors close.

Lab A is not quite as large as Nicolas had imagined; that's not to say that it's small, but it's both smaller than the lobby, and claustrophobic in terms of space. About half the floor is taken up by massive machines with glowing parts and glyphs on them, looking like constructions from some DM's crazed urban fantasy campaign. Eventually, Nicolas encounters a pudgy man that - NO! No, not him. Fuck. Fuck, FUCK!

This is THAT CREEPY GUY from the gaming group at Nicolas' college. When Nicolas last saw him, he was beginning to bald, had long greasy hair, and had a disturbing tendency to molest everything in the campaign. He was one of those blithering idiots who plays a Chaotic Evil Minotaur in a party of paladins and proceeds to TPK everyone and steal their loot. Nicolas HATES this guy. HATE HATE HATE. What the hell is he doing in MIB, how'd he get past the entry process?!

Not much has changed over the years. The only relieving thing is that the man appears to be WASHED, a state Nicolas has only seen him in maybe twice. He also thinks that randomly calling Nicolas a nigger is funny. Because that's funny. Calling a real life black guy a nigger is funny. God, Nicolas only hopes this guy dies slowly and painfully.

THAT CREEPY GUY is holding a clipboard and a weird, blocky weapon. From the size of his shades, he must be a SWEEPER, if MIB has kept its system of absurdly-large-glasses consistent since the death of Rastin. He doesn't seem to see Nic.
>>
No. 210002 ID: a6008c

>>209995
Force choke him. He will appreciate the reference.
>>
No. 210003 ID: 5a2e05

>>209995
Play it cool, you're disguised. They have too many guns for you to blow your cover over a douchebag.
>>
No. 210009 ID: e3f578

You're pretending your a higher up of some sort. Goddamn, this is our chance to humiliate this fucker or get him hurt in some sort of way. Promote him to a higher position because you immediately noticed his inner power and "like" the cut of his jib and send him on an important mission across the country to eliminate that one crazy chick you were afraid of back when we first went to igometrics... Kara Sigurd was it? Yeah she looked scary and powerful as hell. You were so scared of her that when we suggested you ask her to join your party you freaked out.

Sending him on a wild goosechase to his death at the hands of a powerful woman. If that's not the best revenge I don't know what is.
>>
No. 210012 ID: a594b9

He's not using proper trigger discipline!

Telekinesis his finger so that the gun goes off, and then yell at him for improper gun safety. Confiscate the weapon then tell him to report to his superior for punishment.
>>
No. 210015 ID: 892345

>>209995
My mind keeps telling me that blackboard is insulting Ayn Rand.
>>
No. 210118 ID: c2c011

>>209995
Take it easy, he won't see through your clever disguise. And this is your chance to chew him out as a superior officer.

>>210012
So start with this.
>>
No. 210176 ID: 716eb0

>>210012
Heh, approved.

>>210015
Calling Ayn Rand a bitch is one of the fundamentals of magic.
>>
No. 210524 ID: 7f3ffd

>>210015
That's because it is.

Anyways, play it cool.
>>
No. 210532 ID: f4963f
File 127968062482.jpg - (95.83KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Thaumetics_06_Holy_Shit_Misfire.jpg )
210532

>>210012
>>210118
>>210176
>He's not using trigger discipline!
"He's not using trigger discipline!" whispers Joel furiously. "D-does that idiot even know how to handle a live weapon?!"
"Joel, this isn't a time to lose our cool..."
"I'm not losing my cool!" she snaps quietly. "But, but, but... look! That thing! The safety's off and he's just waving it around with his finger on the trigger like a-"
Nicolas squeezes the trigger with his mind. The weapon fires haphazardly against the back wall, causing THAT CREEPY GUY to jump. "WHAT THE HELL?!"
Nicolas dons his most unamused expression and crosses his arms. He remains calm. "... Agent Gibbs."
"That wasn't me! It just shot itself!" he whines. "And where the hell do you know my name?" Oh, that's the other thing. He always argues with the DM's ruling.
"I'm from upper management. Mister Gibbs. I will be confiscating that weapon of yours until you're mature enough to handle something more powerful than a pea shooter." Nicolas stretches out his hand. "In the meantime, I will be writing a note which you're to send to Tamana. I will be meeting her later, and should I dare find out that it has not been delivered, I promise you that any punishment she inflicts on you will be delivered twofold."
"That jealous bitch is hard enough on me as it is," he whines. "Just because I have friends and she doesn't. She'll have me work overtime and I won't be able to play with my group and-"
"Mister Gibbs? Strike two."
The creepy guy hesitates, then lays the weapon in Nic's hand. Nicolas doesn't really feel sorry for the bastard. "The head scientist girl is over there," he whispers, pointing over to what looks like an Ignometics scientist working at a whiteboard. He looks like he's gonna say something, than thinks better. Nicolas hands him a post-it note, and he jams it into his pockets, muttering to himself as he leaves. "And we were gonna blow up the planet..."
>>
No. 210533 ID: 8846ea

nice. and blow up the planet? that plan is the worst, if you blow up the planet then where will you live?

anyway, if we can get the scientist in on it and have her trigger a distraction then it would be great.
>>
No. 210540 ID: a594b9

>>210532
Let's go talk to the Ignometics girl. Find out if she's loyal to Rastin or not.

If not, let her in on our little secret and see if she can tell us anything useful. Maybe get us some big enough guns to take out all the mib.
>>
No. 210541 ID: e3f578

>>210532
Then that means the plans to their superweapons are here somewhere to blow up the planet with! It'll show us the weakspot! Wait... this is too easy! Too simple! Too expected! Oh no! What if whatever they're planning has something to do with the lolcats servers. You might have to make a choice between that and the planet! The Hero always has to sacrifice something he loves for the planet in these epic stories!
>>
No. 210554 ID: 6547ec

I'm pretty sure the world-blow-upping was regarding his gaming group. He seems the type to be into that sort of obscene powergaming thing.

Ask Joel if the gun is any good, then try not to get too giddy at all the cool stuff that may still be lying around.
>>
No. 210640 ID: c2c011

>>210532
Go over and talk to the head scientist girl. See if she can't help out plans along.
>>
No. 217240 ID: f4963f
File 128150472932.jpg - (145.64KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Thaumetics_06.jpg )
217240

>>210533
>>210541
>>210554
>He's gonna blow up the world!
Nic's pretty sure he's referring to his game.

>>210541
>Sacrifice the lolcats servers to save the universe?
DON'T GIVE THE DM IDEAS.

Nicolas watches the creepy player slink off, then fixes his attention on the head scientist. He brings the laser gun over - practicing trigger discipline - and draws her attention. "Excuse me," he says in the driest managerial tone he can manage. "I was to inspect this facility."

She turns to face him. Nicolas immediately notices the presence of magic in her glasses and on an object in her pocket. Her gaze lingers for longer than is warranted, but then she's on her feet. "Sure!" she says. "What do you need to know?"

Nicolas asks about the laser guns.

"Ah, THOSE! Yeah, they're the new weapons we're making! They're REALLY REALLY COOL and they never run out of energy, except I guess they do but it takes a LOT of shots but I guess that doesn't count if you're a psion because they recharge automatically but as far as I know most of your - er, our soldiers aren't psions but those that ARE could totally shoot the gun forever and never run out of bullets! And they're not ACTUAL lasers because obviously real lasers travel at the speed of light and wouldn't emit visual radiation and ESPECIALLY NOT ON THE VISIBLE SPECTRUM. That would be silly." She laughs. Then goes dead serious. "They're a concentrated burst of magnetically held hyperparticles infused with type 5 pyroenergy drawn from the surrounding environment. The blaster needs a psionic battery to provide token energy for each shot provided, but the amount is so miniscule that the psychic energy produced by even a fledgling psion should more than suffice to keep them indefinitely charged. This obviously won't affect your rank-and-file soldiers, but your special agents should be able to glean an advantage from that."

There's a long pause.

"Oh yeah, and they tend to explode."

Nicolas would ask more questions, but he's sure he'll only be more confused. If he understood that right, it's basically a laser blaster with INFINITE AMMO.

"They don't have recoil either," adds the scientist girl. "Can I ask you a question, mister admin person?"

"Actually, I have one first. About your-"

"Why do you have an illusion on?"
>>
No. 217247 ID: 476456

AW SHIT MAKE UP SOME EXCUSE ABOUT A MICHAEL JACKSON COMPLEX
>>
No. 217254 ID: a594b9

>>217240
Tell her you have several identities; this one is for when you're working with the MiB.
>>
No. 217268 ID: 36f4c1

>>217240

"That's because I'm a mass of tentacles underneath it."
>>
No. 217273 ID: 701a19

>>217240
"Oh, that. I work in a disguise pool - you know, multiple people sharing a set of illusions so that tracking the movement of any one person is rather difficult. A nice job perk, I think.
Why? Is there a problem?
>>
No. 217282 ID: 45be60

>Tell her you have several identities; this one is for when you're working with the MiB.

And follow that up with "Now let me ask you a question. What did you do to keep your job when the rest of the Ignometrics employees were fired?"
>>
No. 217314 ID: c2c011

>>217240
Tell her that it's for practicing your powers. Kindly ask her for four laser pistols. No make that 8. 4 for you, two that you hold in your hands and two that you hold telekinetically and fire, two for Joel and two for Tyrael. That should be enough for lots of laser fun.

Also, ask her if they can be put into a guitar that also shoots lightning. Tell her that it's for a new psionic corps you're working on.
>>
No. 217320 ID: 620bfb

Uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh...

Wizard did it.
>>
No. 217341 ID: e3f578

"I'm the one of those new Dragons of MiB. Not literally, I just have a higher power level than a supervisor. My form is incomprehensible thanks to recent experiments. I'm essentially Cthulhu up ins."
>>
No. 221982 ID: f4963f
File 128271153975.jpg - (145.33KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Thaumetics_07.jpg )
221982

>>217254
>>217282
Joel reaches for her weapon, but Nicolas gestures for her to remain calm. "This is the face I do the MIB's work in," he replies. "My civilian identity is anonymous."

"Oh! So like Batman and Bruce Wayne? Only, like... you're evil, and give yourself douchebag hair."

"Douchebag hair?" asks Nicolas.

"Yyyeah," says Joel. "I didn't want to tell you, but it really does look awful."

"Horrible," agrees the scientist happily.

>>217314
"Anyway, we're going to need a number of these weapons for inspection. About eight should do."

"Eight?" whispers Joel sharply. "Do we really need eight?!"

"Alright, sir," says the scientist. "If you'll just follow me."

Nicolas is lead to another section of the room. The scientist procures a key and twists it in a lock. A metal panel opens, revealing an array of prototype weapons. Nic can see a trace of psionic energy in their battery cells.

>>217282
"Thank you," says Nicolas, trying not to worry about his apparently douchebag-like hair. "I actually have one more question, though. What did you do to keep your job when the rest of the Ignometics employees were fired?"

"Fired? We weren't fired."

"You... weren't?"

"Well, a few of us were," she says. "Mostly top brass. The CEO's in hiding, the regional manager is... dead, I think. You're kinda silly, you know! This all happened just last week."

"I'm a transfer," says Nicolas. "Apparently my briefing was insufficient, and I'll be talking to a manager about it soon. In the meantime, perhaps you could fill me in."

"Huh. Well! It happened about last week. I was in the break room playing my DS when someone sets off the alarm, and I step out to find the place surrounded. Tanks, robots... awesome robots! Seriously, where did you get the robots? Anyway, you had the place surrounded and basically took it over. A few scientists..." she hesitates, choosing her words carefully. "... attacked your men, and were disposed of. But most of us didn't fight! Because... we don't want to be blown up. I like to think of it as a good life choice."

"And then we converted the place into a weapons factory," says Nicolas.

"Right. With amazing speed, might I add. Seriously, it sucks getting taken over, but the robots building the place up was just really fascinating to watch. We were, uh... offered positions, in your place. We would get a generous amount of currency units for our efforts - and if I can be honest, that's the funniest name for money ever. But yeah. Basically, my options were to keep working with you guys or be, um... disposed of. And I like lasers! So I guess it wasn't a hard choice. I know the other scientists aren't very happy with the situation, but we're... working faithfully for you!"
>>
No. 221992 ID: 6547ec

This is all really fascinating, but how can you concentrate when you have infinite ammo x many lots in front of you. Grab as many as you can hold (I'm thinking you can handle maybe five at a time, if you stick one in your mouth), and ask about testing ranges.
>>
No. 221997 ID: 5c7574

>>221982

We need to convert her. It shouldn't be hard.

She can keep any and all parts of robots we're forced to disassemble.
>>
No. 222019 ID: e3f578

What are the probabilities of an electric guitar of death plus buffs has been invented?
>>
No. 222027 ID: a6008c

>>221982
"Stop being so tense, I'm not going to shoot you."

Grab lasers, test them at the range, then go see Tamana. Take opportunity to fix your hair first, though, since everyone present knows it is an illusion.
>>
No. 222439 ID: f4963f
File 128284976680.jpg - (214.68KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Thaumetics_08.jpg )
222439

>>222027
>>221992
>TEST WEAPONRY.
PRIORITIES FIRST! Nicolas takes the opportunity to change his hair, though.

"How does this make me look?" he asks.

"Like Manfred von Karma," replies the black chick.

"Who?" asks Joel.

Nicolas takes the weapons down to the shooting range. Though they look as clunky and grey as first generation Gameboys, they fire without the slightest hint of recoil, and Nicolas can suspend them easily with his psionic powers. Focusing on both powers at once is a little straining, but doesn't amount to much more than an ice-cream headache.

"What do you think, Joel?"

"... I don't like it," she says at last. "It doesn't really have the stopping power of a real firearm. It feels like a science fiction blaster."

"That's basically what it is!" says the scientist from the side of the room. "The laser rifles and heavier guns have a lot more penetration and force than the pistols, though. And the blocky design has some charm, don't you think?"

"No," says Joel, "not really."

"Huh," says the scientist. "... well. Too bad, it's standard issue. At least your boss has taste!"

>>221997
>Convert her!
"Could I get your name?" asks Nicolas.

"Miku," replies the girl. "It's Japanese!"

"Right," he says. "Hey Miku. I have a proposition for you."

"I'm listening~"
>>
No. 222471 ID: f4963f
File 128285892319.jpg - (90.72KB , 606x543 , Ch5_Thaumetics_09.jpg )
222471

"You're unhappy with the current management, aren't you?"
Miku shakes her head. "No! Absolutely not. I love working for you and your company."
"Really."
"Yeah! Really! Really, really... well, except for Tamana, I guess. But nobody likes her."
"... you think this is a trick question, don't you?"
"Yeah," she says.

Nicolas is going to need a plan of action here.
>>
No. 222474 ID: 476456

"you're pretty sharp"
>>
No. 222477 ID: 168126

>>222471
Really we just need to get her out of here, away from people who would... dispose of her. Then we feed her the real story, and she decides if she'd rather come with us on adventures or keep working for the MAN. Also remember that we are currently in disguise and dropping it in a heavily guarded facility, even around a discontent worker, could be bad. She could turn us in out of fear. You don't know.
How bout something like 'just between you and me... we're actually doing a full employee inspection on top of inventory'
MIBs, not the scientists. You know, seeing who gets demoted to cannon fodder, that sortof thing. If she'd be willing to cooperate, you know, by telling us anything we want to know, it could mean great opportunities for her, including increased freedom!
>>
No. 222483 ID: 97cb33

"i'm asking to see who we need to change in order to optimize productivity. getting rid of the people that act badly towards you is a good step. as hi morale results in high productivity."
>>
No. 222486 ID: e3f578

Change yourself to Rudy Mann and demand that all the bitches join your party. Since she knows your under an illusion changing to something else shouldn't be surprising.
>>
No. 222498 ID: f4963f
File 128286881522.jpg - (99.92KB , 623x557 , Ch5_Thaumetics_10.jpg )
222498

Nicolas decides that this isn't a good time or place to offer to free her. No doubt the entire facility's wired up with security cameras too. He proceeds to backpedal his way out of the line of conversation.
"You're pretty sharp," says Nicolas in a dry, managerial tone.
"For... not telling my manager I hate them?"
"Yes. We're actually doing a full employee investigation today, though it's focused more on the agents than the researchers."
"... should you be telling me this?"
"Yes, I've been given full discretion over that," says Nicolas in a dismissive tone. "Listen. How would you feel about helping show me around, perhaps pointing out a few people who've been anything but helpful? I wouldn't know the social dynamics as well as you, after all..."
"Wouldn't that create biased results?"
"... is that a problem?"
"Well, yeah," she says, "If you're trying to measure individual assholocity, then it makes sense to gather data from multiple sources and cross-reference them! In fact, let me get out my PDA..."
"That... really isn't necessary," Nicolas replies.
>>
No. 222499 ID: f4963f
File 128286884767.jpg - (63.05KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Hour_Passes.jpg )
222499

...
>>
No. 222500 ID: f4963f
File 128286889173.jpg - (144.02KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Thaumetics_11.jpg )
222500

"And then Guido's a moron. He always has these ideas for stupid things. The only halfway GOOD one I've ever heard was an electric guitar that shoots lightning he just told me about earlier today, but before that he just kept sending me these badly-drawn mechas that would topple over on their faces and have... swords where their dicks should be or something. And he'd be like 'MAKE THAT, BITCH'. So I drew a picture of Phoenix Wright humping his face in my sketchbook."
"Wat."
"I know, Wright should be an uke, but it was just so much more fun."
Nicolas remains silent.
"For a more thorough analysis of who's a douchebag, you'll have to talk to the other researchers. They're up on the 20th floor. Which is actually the 19th floor now, but it's still labeled 20. Funny story there."
"I see. Do they, uh... know you draw creepy porn of your coworkers?"
"It's SHOUNEN-AI. And yes, of course they do. I've even shipped two of them."
"..."
"Larry and Thomas, if you must know." She types a few notes into her PDA. "So there! I've put down my thoughts about every active member on the staff here whose total clocked hours on the installation exceed 10 per week. I trust that's a sufficient criteria?"
"Yes, more than sufficient."
"Excellent. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
>>
No. 222503 ID: a594b9

>>222500
Are ALL the other researchers up there? We could create a centralized resistance. Or at least, if we know where everyone friendly is we know we can basically just shoot anyone else we see.

Hmm. Ask her to come with you up there. If there's no security camera in the elevator, we can talk to her in there safely, and tell her the truth.
>>
No. 222509 ID: 5c7574

>>222503
This, but let's add a bit. If she declines, we'll have to put her back in her lab, tie her up, and make our escape with as many guns as possible. If she agrees, we can offer her a choice of staying behind and starting a resistance inside the building, or coming along and helping out with our arsenal as we go along blowing things up.
>>
No. 222558 ID: e3f578

Mention that you were monitoring calls earlier and that you yourself wants your hands on such a guitar and hoped it had been in development to test along with your inspection. As a... small guilty pleasure a higher up would have. No shame in admitting that.
>>
No. 222561 ID: 97cb33

yes, say that the guitar idea was called in by someone else.
>>
No. 223293 ID: f4963f
File 128309712538.jpg - (136.11KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Thaumetics_12.jpg )
223293

Nicolas convinces Miku to lead him to the research labs. Unfortunately, the elevator is indeed equipped with a security camera.

A few moments later, Nicolas, Joel, and Miku are on the 20th floor. The sights aren't particularly impressive - long, boring stretches of hallway with doors. Bits of tacky and off-coloured spots on the wall indicate that there may have been posters and comics on the doors at one time, but they've clearly been removed. They're at the main lab soon, and Nicolas can hear Tamana's voice. She seems to be berating one of the researchers.

"So tell me," she says, "this ball. This super-rubber bouncy ball. How many lives are you going to save with it?"
The researcher beside her doesn't respond.
"What are the military applications for super-bouncy balls? Are super-bouncy balls going to revive the economy? Will they feed starving children?"
"I... no," says the scientist, reluctantly.
"What good is it?" she asks. "Name one thing that justifies the federal grants and corporate sponsorship that were poured into this project. Go ahead and tell me why the man-hours you put into this are more important than the man-hours that could have been put into ending world hunger. You have the power of magic dancing under your fingertips, you could be curing cancer. But this is what you made."
"Our... our study is still in its infancy," he stammers. "I'm not sure if-"
"Larry," she says, "You haven't. Even. Tried."
The researcher doesn't reply.
"People like you disgust me. You grew up in a bubble surrounded by middle-class wealth. Your parents paid you into college, and then you went into grad school and thought you knew what a hard life was. You have no idea. You haven't played second fiddle your whole life." After she sees that he's remaining silent, she adds, "There are going to be some changes around here."
>>
No. 223294 ID: f4963f
File 128309716885.jpg - (127.43KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Thaumetics_13.jpg )
223294

She pockets the ball and leaves the room, escorted by an MIB scrubber. She stops in front of Nicolas and the others, and Nicolas can see multiple magic auras on her clothing and body - it's hard to distinguish where one spell ends and the next begins.
"I'm sorry, are you coming to ask for your porn book back again?"
"... no," says Miku. "I'm showing the inspector around."
Tamana's full attention turns to Nicolas. She extends a hand. "Such a pleasure to meet a new transfer. I'm Tamana... technically, the new head of the MIB, but I prefer the title 'Manager'. Your name is...?"
Nicolas shakes her hand. "Miles. Pleasure to meet you, ma'am."
"I actually need a Sweeper for something. Could you come with me, ma'am? I trust that Miku can show him around."
Joel glances at Nicolas uncertainly.
>>
No. 223316 ID: e3f578

>New Head of MIB

It's the fucking boss, where's her title card? OR does that only appear when about to engage in combat? Man, they probably found Joel out. Only reason I can think of for her to pull her away. She's your new assistant thanks to a recent promotion and has earned much of your respect, she must be with you at all times. If she goes, you go. Flash the devil eyes. Don't take off the glasses, just lower your head a little bit so they get half visible.
>>
No. 223340 ID: 2bf20f

>>223294

Argh left handed to right handed handshake what the hell
>>
No. 223342 ID: e31d52

Clearly, she has backwards hands. A rahkshasa in disguise!
>>
No. 223355 ID: 97cb33

inform her that joal is your assistant. so you are fine with that as long she comes back in one piece, training new help is difficult.
>>
No. 223520 ID: a6008c

>>223294
She is technically your boss right now. There is... not a lot you can do here. But, you can at least ask what Tamana wants Joel for. If the answer makes you worry for her life in any way, ask if you may accompany them. You have all day to do the inspection - a little detour will not hurt it.
>>
No. 224975 ID: 6dd8ac
File 128345153889.jpg - (165.31KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Thaumetics_14.jpg )
224975

>>223316
>>223355
>>223520
Nicolas decides it would be unwise to raise too much protest to the request, but that doesn't mean he has to split the party. He offers his assistance, explaining that Joel's a personal assistant and bodyguard. Tamana agrees, and leads the two down to a ground-floor office.

Tamana approaches the factory attached to the main building, enters, and makes for a previously unopened section behind a set of heavy, hangar-bay doors. She opens them, revealing a series of hovering but otherwise inert vehicles.

"We need to run a few tests on the hovertanks," explains Tamana. She gestures with her arm. "After you."
>>
No. 224976 ID: b5a616

Yesss delicious hovertanks, you must take them.
>>
No. 224977 ID: a594b9

>>224975
Hm.

Okay. This could be a trap. Can you tell if anyone's in the hovertanks? If she's luring us into a situation where it's us on foot in the open against a bunch of tanks we're in trouble.

On the other hand, if this is legit we have the advantage. I wish we could tell if she could see through our illusion at all.
>>
No. 224980 ID: 8bdb6a

Ask about the nature of the tests, before you get into the test zone.
>>
No. 224995 ID: 6547ec

Ensure she means that you get to pilot one, then ask for permission to squeal like an excited schoolgirl.
>>
No. 224996 ID: c71597

>>224975
Sweet. Ask her for the technical specs on them and how many they have on hand. We just have to use these to fuck their shit up, but first we have to make sure they don't have any readily avalible counters.
>>
No. 227370 ID: f4963f
File 128384466842.jpg - (89.17KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Aackbar_01.jpg )
227370

>>224977
>Are the tanks manned?
Nic can't tell. They don't have any sort of viewports, nor visible access hatches. They might be automated.

>>224980
"What systems are we testing, boss?"
"Weapons."

>>224996
"How many do we have in there?"
"You know... why don't you find out?" Tamana makes a gesture.
>>
No. 227371 ID: f4963f
File 128384469138.jpg - (176.67KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Aackbar_02.jpg )
227371

The scrubber from earlier gives Nicolas a hefty shove. Joel evades the attack and disarms him, but Nicolas tumbles into the room. The hangar bay door slams shut behind him.
>>
No. 227372 ID: f4963f
File 128384471511.jpg - (178.25KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Aackbar_03.jpg )
227372

A few moments later, Tyrael is interrupted from IMPORTANT THINGS when his he receives a radio signal. Honestly, he should have been the star of this infiltration - were it not for the fact that his beauty is so instantly recognizable that it would have compromised his espionage. He revs up the car and prepares to bail those two amateurs out.
>>
No. 227373 ID: f4963f
File 128384473489.jpg - (128.20KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Aackbar_04.jpg )
227373

Nicolas is currently inside the hovertank hangar bay. Joel is in Lab A outside the hangar bay doors. Tyrael is in the white van, ready to break open the front entrance of the Thaumetics.

Please choose a character.
>>
No. 227375 ID: 6547ec

What? Surely you aren't making us choose. Even if we were to say otherwise, Tyrael would have the decency and courtesy to take charge here. He's simply allowing you the illusion of choice because he is such a gentleman.
>>
No. 227386 ID: 44d67c

I'm going to say Tyrael, just because we've been Joel and we're usually Nic and I'd like to be someone different for the brief amount of time it will take to get the party back together. Besides, Tyrael's job is the most AWESOME.
>>
No. 227425 ID: c71597

>>227373
Tyrael, it's time to be motherfucking awesome.
>>
No. 227513 ID: 2dd0ba

I'd vote for Nic because he is mostly like to die horribly here, but yeah, let's crash Tyrael through some walls.
>>
No. 228354 ID: f4963f
File 128400344150.jpg - (93.30KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_01.jpg )
228354

...
>>
No. 228356 ID: f4963f
File 12840034622.jpg - (168.41KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_02.jpg )
228356

CRASH!
>>
No. 228357 ID: f4963f
File 128400348459.jpg - (152.20KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_03.jpg )
228357

Thud.
>>
No. 228358 ID: f4963f
File 128400350619.jpg - (396.88KB , 1682x1200 , Ch5_Tyrael_04.jpg )
228358

Control has switched to Tyrael.
>>
No. 228361 ID: 97cb33

robot's weakspot is the eyes. aim there if you can. head towards the tank. need to disable that first, the large gun could prove trouble if you wait.
>>
No. 228362 ID: 5752b6

>>228358
Alright, dude, you are screwed against that many guys, without cover. Shoot at the two guys directly in front of you while running to the stairs, and duck under them for cover. If that tank is inactive, attempt to board. If it is, do your best to keep away from where the turret is pointing.
>>
No. 228368 ID: 6547ec

Hide under the tank!
>>
No. 228437 ID: 8bdb6a

If you've got any special defenses, now would be a great time to fire them up.

Spray wildly with full auto gunfire to suppress the baddies. Dash up the staircase and stab the guy at the top in the eyes, then use his armored body as a shield. Shoot the pipes at the right side of the room and hopefully spray weird magic shit down on the rest of the MIBs.
>>
No. 228474 ID: e3f578

Aww man the plan was to drive through everything in the van while shooting or slicing people up like its a fucking horse... I think.

Whatever adapt and shit. Do a breakdance to dodge bullets and end it with swipe of bullets killing everybody in the room like how Inspector Tequila pulls it off in Stranglehold. Surely Tyreal could pull it off better than Chow Yun-fat
>>
No. 228478 ID: 067e60

Jump on top of the tank. Ride it like a pony. Also, try to confuse everyone by yelling out random things - like 'I need to use the bathroom' or 'The weapons test has been postponed. Return to your duties.' Or 'I'm from the home office. Raistin's last orders is the last one standing among you gets to rule the company!'
>>
No. 228521 ID: c71597

>>228358
First shoot the two fleshy ones. While doing that jump up on top of the tank. Then either cut your way into it to take it over or wait for the droids to fire at you with some heavy weapons that you can dodge in an appropriately awesome manner while the tank explodes.

Then just get rid of the drones and strike an awesome pose that shows off just how little of a challenge this was.
>>
No. 230084 ID: f4963f
File 128433019188.jpg - (111.08KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_05.jpg )
230084

>>228478
Tyrael knows just what to say.
"I've just arrived from the home office, gentlemen. Rastin's last ord- HEY STOP SHOOTING!"

>>228474
>Breakdance-dodge-shoot them to death.
No, that's silly. Tyrael is a VERY SERIOUS MAN and deserves to be taken VERY SERIOUSLY. No, here's how it's going to go down:
>>
No. 230085 ID: f4963f
File 128433021323.jpg - (138.01KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_06.jpg )
230085

>>228362
>>228437
>>228521
>Shoot the two mooks in front
>Suppressive Fire
>Shoot the fleshy ones
Tyrael bathes the front lobby in fire from his tommygun. Yes, his tommygun. It's his now. The man with dewdrop hair ducks for cover. The long-haired bloke goes down. Tyrael's autofire is so accurate that he also grazes the guy up above while aiming at the other two.

Tyrael's just amazing like that.

>>228361
>>228362
>>228478
>>228521
>Head towards the tank first
>Board tank if unmanned? Keep away from the turret.
>Jump on tank
>Go for the tank first!

The tank is definitely active. The MIB knows who they're dealing with! Tyrael leaps onto the cannons and rides it like the world's largest Roomba. Tyrael briefly wonders if they'd actually put explosive rounds in an indoor vehicle.

There's no visible access hatch from the top. Perhaps it's underneath?
>>
No. 230086 ID: f4963f
File 128433041687.jpg - (170.80KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_07.jpg )
230086

The robots - or is that power armor? Whatever, the tin cans begin shooting at Tyrael. Tyrael's sure his awesome sword could easily bisect them like a European Knight, but his ride's currently moving away from them. They're wielding heavy, riflelike laser weapons. Thankfully, Tyrael's superior tactical sense leads him to duck before they shoot.

Holy shit, these guns do some serious damage. Tyrael wants one of these. NOW.

The dampened sound of explosions and gunfire comes from inside Lab A. The fleshy mooks are cowering in awe of Tyrael's marksmanship. Two drone-armor-things are raining lasery death down. The tank's active, but currently not able to target Tyrael.

Tyrael ponders his next course of action.
>>
No. 230087 ID: 4953e3

>>230086
Clearly you must bisect that lower tin can like a medieval knight.
>>
No. 230088 ID: c71597

>>230086
Hmm, drop down in fron't of the tank and keep your hold on it, then cut your way into it. Tell the driver to ram the drone guy/power armour guy on the floor, if he doesn't then kill him and rip out the body from the tank and take the wheel yourself.

Then after you have pinned one you jump up on the walkway and cut the other one apart and take both their weapons. Take your sword in your mouth and a laser cannon in each hand. Then it's time to get really awesome on this place.
>>
No. 230099 ID: e3f578

RAAAAAGE that motherfuckin' robot to death with your katana. DROP SLICE HIM IN HALF! Then do a rebound with your new super laser and clear the room and shoot through the tank, ending the battle with lighting a cigar that you most likely brought along in your coat to accent your classiness.
>>
No. 230124 ID: a594b9

>>230086
If you can get the tank to somehow kill one of the tin cans for you, do so. Otherwise... slice and dice the one on the bottom, grab his gun, then use the balcony for cover while rushing to lab A.
>>
No. 230147 ID: f4963f
File 128434197188.jpg - (112.62KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_08.jpg )
230147

>>230087
>>230099
>>230124
>BISECT HIM
EAT FOLDED STEEL, MOTHERFUCKER!
>>
No. 230148 ID: f4963f
File 128434198578.jpg - (135.87KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_09.jpg )
230148

WHAT? SHIT! This armor must be made of some sort of dwarven nerd-metal or something. Katanas can cut through ANYTHING.

Also, Tyrael's sort of choking now.

Help?
>>
No. 230150 ID: 8bdb6a

Pull the sword back and stab him right in the eye!
>>
No. 230152 ID: 97cb33

GO FOR THE EYES BOO!
>>
No. 230153 ID: c71597

>>230148
When cutting doesn't cut it then stabbing is the path too victory. Stab right through that glasses looking faceplate thingy. And if that doesn't work then try to disable the elbow joint.

If neither of those works then it's time to greet death in a dignified way. By jerking off, I hear you can get off like crazy when you're being choked.
>>
No. 230162 ID: 40cb26

>>230148
>>230153
Don't forget the neck, you might squeeze a stab in right under the helmet.
>>
No. 230240 ID: 44d67c

>>230148
Clearly the armor is also made of folded steel! It's the only possible explanation!
You'll have to hit a spot that's not armored! Go for the joints and/or eyes!
>>
No. 230322 ID: 64f5ed
File 128440862558.jpg - (149.45KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_10.jpg )
230322

>>230150
>>230152
>>230153
>>230240
>Stab it in the eyes!
For anyone else, this would be an incredibly awkward angle to stab at with a sword this long. But not for Tyrael. There's a crunch and a scream as the armored guard lets go. ... huh. Guess they're not robots.
>>
No. 230323 ID: 64f5ed
File 128440863973.jpg - (142.48KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_11.jpg )
230323

Tyrael swipes the TOTALLY SWEET LASER RIFLE and turns around. He's struck by a high-calibur round. Tyrael's KEVLAR VEST absorbs some of the blow. Looks like the reception desk guy's not using a Gameboy Gun. Is that a Desert Eagle? And he's firing it one-handed? How preposterous.

>Tyrael is moderately wounded.
>>
No. 230324 ID: 64f5ed
File 128440874491.jpg - (121.46KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_12.jpg )
230324

The tank has swiveled its head around. The armored guard above begins descending the staircase. The douchebag with the overrated gun has already ducked behind the reception desk. No signs of life from the other two mooks - Tyrael probably blew them away.

No reinforcements yet. Not that they'd swing this battle. Tyrael's just too fast for the MIB.

Tyrael has the situation totally under control, but he'll still allow you the honor of suggesting courses of action.
>>
No. 230326 ID: c71597

>>230324
Little fucker is dead. He dares to lay a hand on you?! This cannot stand.

Fire your laser on the tank while making a totally sweet jump up on top of the catwalk, then hunch down low and run up over the dest. Shoot the fucker from above, then shoot the tank from above as well. Then you just have to deal with the last guy, suggest that if he surrenders and strips out of that armour you just might let him live. If he doesn't agree then fry the fuck with your lasers.
>>
No. 230327 ID: a594b9

>>230324
If you're fast... dodge the tank fire and get into Lab A. The armored goon probably won't get a bead on you before you get in there.
>>
No. 230339 ID: 8bdb6a

Do some cool action movie dodge while shooting the tank's barrels with your freem gun.
>>
No. 230636 ID: 067e60

Your only hope with the tanks is if they take each other out. See about jumping in the middle of them while blasting the stuffings out of the security desk and hopefully the guy behind it - but be prepared to dodge the moment the tanks fire upon each other.
>>
No. 230641 ID: a594b9

>>230636
There's only one tank here.
>>
No. 230782 ID: 98cc2f

Katana yourself a new door in that sweet tank.
>>
No. 232033 ID: f4963f
File 128495106658.jpg - (124.79KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_13.jpg )
232033

>Dodge the tank and-
>Do an action movie dodge and-
JESUS CHRIST THEY'RE USING EXPLOSIVE ROUNDS. Tyrael narrowly avoids some serious damage.
>>
No. 232034 ID: f4963f
File 128495108876.jpg - (134.71KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_14.jpg )
232034

>>230326
>>230339
Tyrael knows the rifle can put a dent in the tank, which itself is undoubtedly also folded steel and katana-resistant. The rifle gives a kick as it caves in the front of the tank. The scent of ozone and molten metal fills the air.

The tin can uses the opportunity to open fire.
>>
No. 232035 ID: f4963f
File 128495111257.jpg - (155.24KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_15.jpg )
232035

OH YOU FUCKING BITCH. TYRAEL JUST GOT THAT.
>>
No. 232057 ID: f4963f
File 128495345211.jpg - (131.12KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_16.jpg )
232057

... wait. What's happening?
>>
No. 232058 ID: 6547ec

Might want to throw that at the tank. Quickly.
>>
No. 232063 ID: 4cdabb

Throw it at the tank and dive for cover.

Or just dive through the air while the explosion fills up the screen behind you like WOOOOAH SHIIIIT!
>>
No. 232074 ID: c71597

>>232057
Shitfuck, must be that other robot dude. Get out your other gun and take him down. You know the drill, sword through that faceplate. Then grab his laser cannon and finish the fucker hiding behind the desk.
>>
No. 232098 ID: 067e60

throw it throw it THROW IT! (At either the robot dude or the jerk behind the desk - whichever is easier and faster)
>>
No. 232131 ID: 175f4a

ueah, it's a grenade now. use it like one. then begin weaving your way to whoever yu didn't throw it at.
>>
No. 234055 ID: f4963f
File 128548313612.jpg - (146.07KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_17.jpg )
234055

>It's a grenade now.
Tyrael makes fireworks.
>>
No. 234056 ID: f4963f
File 128548318184.jpg - (151.29KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_18.jpg )
234056

With a flourish and a sweep, Tyrael has the last mook at gunpoint. The mook drops his gun and surrenders in sheer awe. Tyrael can't help it. He's both frightening and handsome like that.
>>
No. 234057 ID: f4963f
File 128548319937.jpg - (195.29KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Tyrael_19.jpg )
234057

The doors to Lab A whoosh open, revealing two battered but familiar figures. The scent of ozone is accompanied by a strange odor not unlike pickles. Though Nicolas' flight is impressive, Tyrael quickly reminds himself that running leaps and heroic acrobatics are much more stylish.

"Lab A is secure," says Joel.
>>
No. 234058 ID: 6547ec

Notice Nic's flying guns. Ask why he didn't think to just use a few swords, for style points.
>>
No. 234064 ID: 038726

Nicolas has magic powers, so anything he did doesn't count. Joal didn't start the battle with the most powerful melee weapon so she is understandably beat up more and had to EARN her victory.

anyway, get someone to tie up the mook and lead your troops onward.
>>
No. 234078 ID: e3f578

Man, that makes me wish we played them instead. I mean they went up against two hovertanks plus I can only imagine a whole buncha mooks.

And now we will never know their body count. Whatevs, we got a car crash scene. I can only imagine the XP, load up on guns and prototypes and shit. See if the guitar of death was made or not by the deliciously tan pigtailed girl.
>>
No. 234116 ID: c71597

>>234057
Congratulate them on their good work and remark how much quicker you would have done it.

Then suggest that we stop standing around here dillydallying and get a move on. Evil corporations won't crumble just by you guys standing around there.
>>
No. 234249 ID: a09a03

Tell Nic not to keep his feet level while he's floating. Toes down is the far more stylish poise whilst levitating.

>>234078
Also this. We must obtain the fire and lightning guitar.
>>
No. 236902 ID: f4963f
File 128595949374.jpg - (158.79KB , 775x600 , Ch5_Cleanup_01.jpg )
236902

"The front lobby is clear," says Tyrael. "Though if I had really tried, I could have done it twice as fast."
"I'm sure that's very true," replies Nicolas wearily.

After some deliberation, Nicolas offers Tyrael rope to tie the hostages up with. Nicolas fills him in on what he's missed. "Your sister's turned to world domination, everyone and their grandmother has magic detection, the guards are insufferable pricks and the scientist with the pigtails won't shut up. If I could find my DM, I'd slap him senseless for setting up this deathtrap of an infiltration."
"Nic, you're talking weird again," says Joel.

"We don't have much time to waste," he continues. "We were going to free the researchers, so that should be our next step."
Joel and Tyrael agree and quickly go about tying up the survivors. Tyrael finds that the second armored mook's laser rifle is still intact, so he claims it for himself. After about a minute, the party is in the elevator on its way to the 20th floor.
>>
No. 236903 ID: f4963f
File 128595951149.jpg - (154.98KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Cleanup_02.jpg )
236903

"I'm glad you're not planning to bail," says Tyrael. "I still want my guitar."
"We're sticking to it," replies Joel. Her gaze remains fixed on the doors.
"I'm surprised to hear you say that," says Nic.
"Me too," she says, "but something has to be done. I thought the military would have stomped out the MIB in a week, but they haven't. Rastin's dead, and they've just moved to Colorado and kept building. I-I decided on the way that I was going to go to a nice café on the west coast and sip spiced coffee until the problem went away, but it's becoming obvious that it won't."
"So you need someone crazy enough to drive straight into the heart of Denver to save a caption website," says Nicolas.
"Right."

The elevator dings and the doors slide open.
>>
No. 236904 ID: f4963f
File 128595954769.jpg - (144.37KB , 841x600 , Ch5_Cleanup_03.jpg )
236904

The party is greeted with thundering gunfire and flashes of light. Bullets and lasers fly between the lab room and the various MIB stationed in the hallway outside. It looks like the researchers and the MIB aren't on good terms - and the scientists are getting their asses handed to them.

Control has switched to Nicolas.
>>
No. 236905 ID: a594b9

>>236904
Force the turret to fire upon that other MIB back there, before Tyrael destroys it with his high-powered laser.

That should be all the goons we see right now. After that, set up some cover inside the lab and tend to the wounded.
>>
No. 236907 ID: a09a03

Nic: Shoot that guy behind the tank.

Not-Nic: Freem the tank with your big laser guns.
>>
No. 236909 ID: 7d8185

>>236905
IF you can force the turret easily enough. if not then just shoot the guys. after getting a defensive perimeter set up tend to the wounded with your powers by TKing the bullets out of the wounds.
>>
No. 236963 ID: 067e60

After destroying the mib and tank, use your gun or something to smash the window on the 2708 door and make sure there are no MIBs behind there. Otherwise, it could be an ambush at your back. Plus smashing fragile things is cool!
>>
No. 236985 ID: c71597

>>236904
Well then fucking help them. Tell Tyrael to handle the tank while you deal with the mooks. His laser thingy should dent the tank pretty nicely and you got 3 fucking guns to shoot with.
>>
No. 239060 ID: f4963f
File 12863331975.jpg - (176.21KB , 1080x600 , Ch5_Cleanup_04_WIDESCREEN.jpg )
239060

Tyrael and Joel open fire and batter the tank's primary gun.

>>236907
>Nic: Shoot that guy behind the tank.
Nicolas loves this gun.

The tank swerves erratically and then lands with floor-shaking impact.
>>
No. 239061 ID: f4963f
File 128633324586.jpg - (193.32KB , 1080x600 , Ch5_Cleanup_05.jpg )
239061

>>236905
>>236909
>Set up cover
>Set up a defensive perimeter
Nicolas loves telekinesis, too.

>>236963
>Check room 2708
Nicolas uses the tank-induced lapse in gunfire to investigate the room. It turns out to be a computer lab. The room's unoccupied.
>>
No. 239063 ID: f4963f
File 128633337375.jpg - (201.10KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Cleanup_06.jpg )
239063

>Tend to the wounded, etc
With the assault halted by a massive tank, Nicolas, Tyrael and Joel rush into the lab room. "Behold!" shouts Tyrael with a flourish. "Your liberators have arrived!"
The research scientists seem to have tucked themselves away from the door - in all, there's about twelve of em. Among the group, Nicolas only recognizes Miku, who's holed up at one of the computer terminals typing. The other eleven are armed with the same laser-weaponry the guards are working with. There's a moment of awkward silence before one of them speaks up.
"That display out there... that was very impressive. Look, I have no idea who you guys are or who you're working for, but..."
"You mean they're not with the military?" says another.
"Hardly," replies Joel.
"I could totally qualify for the SEALS," says Tyrael, "but they'd make me cut my gorgeous hair. That's just unacceptable."
Some of the scientists have used the break in fire to move the wounded out of the hall, and apparently one of them has healing powers, which is good, because Nicolas knows nothing about medicine.
"Look, we're trying to retake the building," says the first scientist. "Miku says you took out everything on the first floor. That's, like, half of their manpower already. Just tell us what we need to do and we'll repay the favor. Promise."
>>
No. 239097 ID: 1ef7bb

>>239063
Half their manpower? We should be able to take care of it on our own, then. Just have the healer waiting on standby behind cover so we can run back to not die, and the rest of them will provide suppression fire and/or guard the healer. Every time we clear an area, they move up a little to secure the area, but the three of you will be the primary attack force.
>>
No. 239316 ID: a09a03

Ask them to fix the lolcats server using their magic science.

Failing that, a clue and some cool gadgets!

Also, you need to make the remaining half of the enemy surrender. You'll need a megaphone and someone who knows how to sound like a larger than life megalomaniac.

Which is to say, you need a megaphone.
>>
No. 239323 ID: e3f578

Where is the guitar? Also, ask delicious tan pig-tailed girl out on a date if you survive all this.

Nic, go back and retrieve A-Team van it is essential to part 2 of the plan. If it doesn't work we can just throw the damn thing with telekinesis because apparently you've become a telekinesis god.

Your audio illusion power can replace the megaphone. Just replicate Tyreal speaking in a loud, intimidating voice that can be heard throughout the entire building. Only Tyreal is prideful and ballsy enough to pull off a rally speech.
>>
No. 239359 ID: c71597

>>239063
Tell them to have the healing prepared, fix the lolcats server, get you the gituarr that shots lightning and death as well as gear you up with everything they have in magical totally awesome super rad gear.

Then it's time to finish off the enemy.
>>
No. 239381 ID: 19dce0

Alright, guys, forget the megaphone. Just ask these guys where the speakers for the PA system are. Tyrael has a surrender speech to deliver.

As for rewards, ask them to find us the exact location of the lolcats server, as well as a lightning guiter for Tyrael.
>>
No. 239484 ID: 067e60

Also - see if they have anything that can let you see through walls. So you can use it to see the MiB guys on the next floor through the ceiling and blast them with nifty-gun.
>>
No. 241961 ID: f4963f
File 12867763206.jpg - (153.35KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Cleanup_07.jpg )
241961

>Apparently you've become a telekinesis god
Why thank you. You guys told him to practice til he dropped, and that's exactly what Nic has been doing. It's been almost half a week, and having had to pop an Advil every three hours to fight off psychic-induced headaches has paid off. Both his illusions and his telekinesis have improved - particularly his telekinesis. That is what we upgraded last time, after all.

And as long as he's breaking the fourth wall, Nicolas might want to add that this is still TOTALLY your fault, poster 6a5a08.

Psychics are supposed to gain their powers pretty quickly. Nicolas doesn't appear to be an exception. The apparent downside is that they hit a glass ceiling at some point and have great difficulty getting more power. Unless they steal more crystals, of course. Who knows what would happen if you could get enough crystals. You might just become a living god.

>Bring the A-Team Van up.
Nicolas would love to bring the van up here, but he doesn't think he could apply enough sustained force to lift it up 20 (19?) floors. Besides, it's served its purpose. It's kinda trashed.

>Megaphone + megalomaniac = Instant Psychological Warfare
>You can audio illusion a megaphone
>Let the scientists give you the PA system.
Nicolas politely asks if they can hijack the PA system and scare the enemy into submission.
"Ah, you're in luck. The MIB took em over, but Miku happens to be a technomancer. She has a shard that grants her the ability to MANIPULATE TECHNOLOGY."
Oh god, not Miku. Nicolas thinks he'll try the audio megaphone first.
>>
No. 241962 ID: f4963f
File 128677633222.jpg - (130.29KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Cleanup_08.jpg )
241962

>Gadget to see through walls?
>Load us up, baby!
The scientist dutifully explains that Tamana's a big jealous bitch and locked up a lot of the projects she saw as SUPERFLUOUS or TOO THEORETICAL. The only stuff they have on-hand is the weaponry they've been developing and various components to them, as well as ONE HEALER and ONE TECHNOMANCER.

>Half their manpower? We can do this on our own. Just have a healer on standby so we don't die.
>Tell them to have healing prepared
"We'll take it from here. I just ask that you provide healing assistance in case we become injured."
"Of course. Uh, Jake, can you trail them?"
"I can do that," replies Jake.
... that's a boy?!
"Hey," says Joel. "You're kinda cute."
"Ehheh," he replies, "... thank you."
>>
No. 241963 ID: f4963f
File 128677638935.jpg - (140.72KB , 739x545 , Ch5_Cleanup_09.jpg )
241963

>Fix the lolcats server
>Make us a guitar that shoots lightning and death
>Cool gadgets!
>Super Rad Gear
Nicolas lists off their terms.
"You want us to fix... a server in Denver?"
"Yep."
"You drove halfway across the country and gunned through hordes of armed maniacs to bring back an archive server?"
"Yep."
"... I want to say something here, but all I can think of is that XKCD comic with the sysadmin."

Nicolas asks Jake to heal the party before the next leg. If he knows his tropes correctly, one of two things is going to happen: Either the rest of the facility is going to be a curbstomp battle to show how awesome the PCs have gotten, or else the MIB will release some crazy experimental weapon or robot on the party to incite a CHALLENGING BOSS FIGHT.

Plus, Tamana is still unaccounted for. Joel says that she blipped out of sight seconds after throwing Nicolas into the tank room.

How should the party proceed?
>>
No. 242006 ID: 1854db

>>241963
Carefully. Clear each room they pass while someone stands outside it to make sure we don't get attacked from behind.
>>
No. 242026 ID: 19dce0

>"... I want to say something here, but all I can think of is that XKCD comic with the sysadmin."
...That is EXACTLY what we're doing, isn't it? Damn.

Anyway, only one way to solve this mess. Keep on heading up, one floor at a time.
>>
No. 242047 ID: c2c011

>>241963
With Tyrael on point, because he's awesome and stuff. Then Nic and then Joel. Take it slow and examine rooms before proceding to make sure there's no ambushes that place your nuts in a vice.
>>
No. 242117 ID: e3f578
 

Hmm, I'm curious if you could make a telekinesis field around Tyreal's katana to make it impact with more force and sharpness. It might be able to let him cut through a tank if science and magic work that way.

If not, well we can always pull a Blasto, the hanar spectre and lift a whole bunch of guns
>>
No. 242627 ID: f4963f
File 128692843550.jpg - (173.76KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Cleanup_10.jpg )
242627

>Telekinesis Field around the katana?
Unfortuantely, Nic can't do that. They could totally ask for weapon upgrades after this, though.

>Tyrael takes point, Nic and Joel behind.
>Do it room by room.
>One floor at a time.
Nic feels strangely familiar with this procedure.
>>
No. 242629 ID: f4963f
File 128692846336.jpg - (303.04KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Cleanup_11.jpg )
242629

The next several floors are a breeze. The biggest surprise these guys have is another tank. There's still a few active ones in the hangar, so Nicolas has no objections to trashing this one.
>>
No. 242630 ID: f4963f
File 128692848489.jpg - (221.05KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Rooftop_01.jpg )
242630

On the way up, Tamana's voice comes over the PA system calling for a tactical retreat. The last two floors are empty, and the party soon finds themselves on the roof, watching the silhouettes of retreating helicopters.

A hovering figure is here. Nicolas recognizes it as Tamana.
>>
No. 242631 ID: 1ef7bb

You have two options! Fight or Talk. This seems like a pretty climactic spot for a battle, but I feel like we missed some cutscenes or something.
Ask her why she's sided with the MIB. Get her to monologue!
Actually, get Tyrael to do it. It will be more hilarious.
>>
No. 242632 ID: cd7581

IT SEEMS THERE MAY BE A BATTLE OF THE MINDS.

though... don't get too optimistic, there's a chance she'll be better than you, though she doesn't have a top hat or a derringer, so we clearly must have the advantage here.
>>
No. 242633 ID: c71597

>>242630
Ask her to surrender. Her forces have been defeated. Her brother has proven himself to be the superior sibling among them, in choosing his allies with greater care and in cleaning up the loby and the rest of the building.
>>
No. 242640 ID: e3f578

Oh god tell me you can hear the OMINOUS LATIN CHANTING going on. It's time to crack your necks and prepare for a boss battle! Tell Tamana she can't win as long as she's on the douchebag MIB side. A roof battle is dangerous for your non-flying party members so get ready to catch them from a tele-swipe/burst in case she decides to trigger the battle.

PS: Weird, Nic, I never knew you were True Neutral. Neutral Good or Chaotic Good seems more your alley. You've must have lawyer-ed a few corrupt scumbags in your business dealings occasionally. Something has to pay the bills
>>
No. 242644 ID: 370f77

>>242632
Perhaps if you point out her obvious inferiority in headwear, conflict could be avoided altogether.
>>
No. 242669 ID: f4963f

>>242640
Nethack has three alignments and basically treats Lawful as Good and Chaotic as Evil. Nic's totally CG.
>>
No. 243478 ID: c6916c
File 128708022923.jpg - (236.14KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Rooftop_02.jpg )
243478

>Ask her why she sided with the MIB
>Ask her to surrender
"Four days ago, we saw you at the sandwich store," Nicolas says. "Now you're working with the MIB. Why?"
"A golden opportunity fell into my lap," says Tamana. "That's all you need to know."
"We've got you in a corner," Nicolas continues. "Your troops have fled. Surrender."
"Are you that callous about all your ambitions? I wouldn't know, until recently I never had enough money to go to the sandwich store in a three piece suit... but you're right. We'll be forced to cut our losses here. That's unacceptable, but I'll have to live with it. Story of my life."
>>
No. 243479 ID: c6916c
File 128708026230.jpg - (191.06KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Rooftop_03.jpg )
243479

"Look, Tamana," says Tyrael, "Aspirations aren't bad. But you can't be so jealous of me. There's a very good reason I was left in charge of the family. It's not just because I'm handsome and charming," he says. "Although I suppose that would be reason enough. You see-"
"Tyrael," she snaps, "you're an incompetent oaf who squanders his talents on self-congratulation. I've clawed my way forward in life while you've glided along on that fortune you inherited from a business friend of yours. A fortune which I have never seen a penny of, by the way. Thanks for thinking of your dear sister. I'm sure she appreciates working below minimum wage because your accountant found some obscure loophole in the fair pay laws."
"See," says Tyrael calmly, "this is what I'm talking about. You're so passive-aggressive, Tamana. That's why you don't get paid as well as people who treat me-"
"I am this close to committing fratricide," she interjects.
>>
No. 243480 ID: c6916c
File 128708028339.jpg - (191.06KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Rooftop_04.jpg )
243480

"I don't get it," says Joel, breaking the family reunion. "It's been less than four days since Rastin died. How'd the MIB get so big? Why did you move out into the middle of Colorado? How did you build an entire factory to attach to this Ignometics in that time? I-I've had it up to here with this. I thought my former employers would have been stomped out in small time after Rastin's downfall, but instead you're-"
"We took over Denver," says Tamana. "It's not as impressive as you think."
"I... why Denver? Why the one city we're heading to?"
Tamana crosses her arms. "... actually, I should thank you for that, Nicolas. Killing Victor was only good thing you ever did."
>>
No. 243481 ID: dad664

"God, why do sisters always have to be huge bitches about everything."
>>
No. 243489 ID: 19dce0

"Oh, so he really is dead? Really? Because I left him to bleed out, and that usually means that he's going to show up later stronger than I can possibly imagine. I am so glad that isn't what is happening here."

I suppose we could also ask why killing him was such a good thing in the first place.
>>
No. 243510 ID: e3f578

It obviously has something to do with the lolcats server.

"What are you going to do with the lolcats server, you fiend! Or is this something to do with that one summon thing Victor mentioned."
>>
No. 243512 ID: c71597

>>243480
Tell her that you have done a few other good things. Like come up with the idea of a guitarr that shoots lightning and death! Also, you totally wrecked a tank with a piece of bread. That's just plain awesome.

Oh, and hint on victor not really being dead. Or possibly come back as a lich. Magic is in the air after all.
>>
No. 243595 ID: 19dce0

>>243512
>Magic is in the air after all.
Let's not get into a romantic subplot now. Not until after the BBEG is defeated, at least.
>>
No. 243869 ID: a09a03

Say "Hey, you're a smart gal, right?"
When she snarkily agrees, say "So you'd NEVER do the supervillain thing where you let your troops get killed by guys whose ass you could kick. So, I'm not buying that you're a tantrum away from killing us. I think you're bluffing. Maybe stalling us... With that in mind, fix my Lolcats backup server or we'll keep trashing MIB bases until we figure out how to fix it ourselves."
>>
No. 243924 ID: 1854db

Ask her what she's talking about in regards to Victor.
>>
No. 245623 ID: f4963f
File 128743128043.jpg - (278.65KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Rooftop_05.jpg )
245623

>Ask why that's important
>Is Victor really dead?
"Seriously, that killed him? Neck wounds are never lethal."
Joel gives Nicolas a strange look. Tamana laughs emotionlessly. "I've seen the body, but the important part is that he lost control of a spell."
"He said he summoned something to destroy lolcats," says Nic.
"... wow, is /that/ why he did it? I hate him even more now."

>Ask about Victor
"He lost control of a summon?"
"Mhm," says Tamana. "I don't feel obliged to tell you much more. Suffice to say, there's at least one person who values merit on this Earth, and they don't even come from it."

>If we don't get lolcats back, all your base will belong to us.
"Alright, Tamana. Here's the deal," says Nicolas. "Your friend Victor made a mess of the archive server. We're going to storm through Denver until it's back online."
Tamana's expression grows more grim. "... seriously?" she asks. "That's your motivation?"
"Yes. I want my captioned cats, goddamnit."
There's a long moment of silence.
"Very well," says Tamana, "I can accomodate you. I have my own conditions, though."
"Shoot."
"You and your group will leave Denver immediately. In turn, we'll patch up the website, move the data to an even better machine, and return access to it to the website owner with a full written apology."
"Really?" asks Nic.
"Really. Do we have a deal, Mister Zere?"
>>
No. 245624 ID: 1b42c5

wait, what about the scientists? she didn't promise anything about leaving them alone.
>>
No. 245626 ID: 93e8e3

>>245623
Sure. Quest completed, let's get on our way.

Joel: After Nic accepts her gracious offer, smack him upside the head for having no standards.
>>
No. 245628 ID: e3f578

>>245623
Nic: Have your inner battle with your demons/psyche/selfish needs for the sake of the plot already and unlock your true telekinetic potential because holy fuck you just went inside your head and you and your superego fucked up some bitches in there
>>
No. 245632 ID: c71597

>>245623
Throw in letting those scientists walk away if they chose as well as a guitar that shoots lightning and death and this sounds like an acceptable deal.
>>
No. 245636 ID: b14128

>>245628
Do this, do this!
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No. 245642 ID: 1ef7bb
File 12874345607.png - (4.29KB , 60x119 , Sigurd_RAGE!.png )
245642

>>245623
... well, really, the truth is we were kindof trying to find where this whole 'MIB taking over the world' thing was heading. Lolcats is just an excuse. I mean, we love lolcats. Who doesn't love lolcats? But we were also, kindof, like, maybe, trying to avoid the whole shonen hero, row row, "I don't really understand what's going on, but I will fight it anyway!" power motivation. ... and now it's like you've gone and made us do that anyway.

This is really the kindof motivation better suited for particularly crazy, freakishly tall people, wielding shotguns and poor mannerisms, followed by a collection of flat characters representing briefly defined abstract philisophical concepts. And we're a well-mannered, suave mother fucker who's only followed by ONE flat representational character, thankyou very much! And a pretty well-rounded dynamic character as our friend! AND, ALSO, WE'RE WEARING A TOP HAT, DAMNIT. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!

GOD DAMNIT, TAMANA! STOP BEING REASONABLE... YOU... YOU BITCH!

FUCK IT! FUCK EVERYTHING!

KICK HER ASS. THEN KICK THE ASS OF EVERYONE WHO GETS IN YOUR WAY.


We're taking Denver.

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No. 245646 ID: c71597

>>245642
Ok, know what. Fuck what I said. We're taking over Denver and declaring independance.
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No. 245658 ID: d47be3

Hey.
Let's do it.

...and then convince the military to take them out no matter what the cost, thus ensuring plot continuity.
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No. 245677 ID: 754124

Hey, what about the rest of the party? They have shit they want too.
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No. 249721 ID: f4963f
File 128837291574.jpg - (196.46KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Rooftop_06.jpg )
249721

>Sure, Quest completed, let's get on our way.
This deal is too good to be true, yet Tamana seems completely serious. This is all Nic really wants. He came her to fix a site, he's gonna fix his goddamn site, and there's nothing that's going to get between him and that goal. ... right?

>What about the scientists? She didn't mention them.
... though that would mean that the Ignometics would be retaken. After all that work too, damnit! They wouldn't get that guitar for Tyrael. She'd have them stop making awesome things like magic duct tape and keep pumping out blocky lego laser weapons and hovertanks. Nicolas realizes he kind of likes Ignometics. He likes their craziness. The MIB's version of it is just cold, barren, spiritless. That's something worth fighting for, isn't it?
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No. 249722 ID: f4963f
File 128837293323.jpg - (156.47KB , 840x502 , Ch5_Rooftop_07.jpg )
249722

Nicolas tosses the proposition over in his mind. Accepting now would mean not butting into Tamana's future plans. It would mean not accepting any responsibility for whatever demon-thing Victor unleashed. It would mean leaving Joel and Tyrael to their own devices, and now that Nicolas thinks about it, Joel was looking for answers.

There are more Ignometics in the city. There's probably other factories that Tamana has built or runs in one way or another. The military hasn't wiped out the MIB yet, but the party just cleared a whole building full of them. Nicolas always was a bit chaotic. He thought that given this choice, he'd let the world go to hell. Lawyers are supposed to be bastards, right? And yet... no. Nicolas has realized something else. Nicolas is not chaotic. He's chaotic good. It's time to end this our own way. The craziest way Nic knows how.

Fuck the military. Fuck the MIB. Fuck continuity!

We're taking over Denver!
>>
No. 249723 ID: f4963f
File 128837295381.jpg - (191.79KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Rooftop_08.jpg )
249723

Nicolas voices his intents.
"What?" asks Tamana. "No! You can't just take over Denver!"
"Why not? You did."
"I HAD AN ENTIRE ARMY God you're stupid! Do you know anything about logistics? This isn't a fucking computer game! Look, I am giving you ONE chance to get out of this alive. You're meddling with forces beyond your ken, and if you had any idea how outgunned you will be when you set foot in that city, you would be thanking me profusely that I haven't hunted you down yet."
"Nicolas, sometimes I'd like to know what goes on in your head," says Joel, "but quite frankly, I agree with him. You're a crappy manager. If Denver's being run anything like Ignometics, it needs new management."
The wind whips across the rooftop.
"Fine," says Tamana. She begins to chant.
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No. 249724 ID: f4963f
File 128837298835.jpg - (193.12KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Rooftop_09.jpg )
249724

"I gave you a chance."
Tamana disappears in a flash of green light, leaving the party alone.

"Hey Nic," says Joel, lowering her weapon. "Thanks for not ducking out at the offer. You're kind of a weird guy, but..."
"It's nothing. Thank you for agreeing to take over Denver with me," replies Nicolas. "Really, it's a sweet gesture."
"It's a really strange move," she admits, "but you know, I'm getting used to weird these days."
"Of course it's unnatural, being around someone as talented as I am for so long," says Tyrael, "but don't worry, Joel. One day you'll be a complex and motivated individual too."
The building should be clear of MIB now. Nicolas is going to check out the security feed just to be sure. The psion considers what he should do next.
>>
No. 249751 ID: e3f578

Start chanting Ominous Latin words like things are about to get serious, even if you don't know Latin the ominous chanting still gives the feeling.

All right so we need some good gear. There should be something here that might amplify your illusions better so the MIB can't see through them. Obviously they're one of those gag nose-glasses disguise things because that's how Igometrics rolls. Then ask Joel if she wants anything cool to amplify her abilities like something that would give her occasional bullettime. It's pretty obvious Igometrics would have a dwarven forge here with some rare or possibly even cursed metals so forging Tyreals katana to cut through the things like the tanks would be a great help. Also get him and Joel levitating shoes so everyone can fly like you can.

haha, Tamana doomed herself to you taking over Denver by being utterly convinced you couldn't do it. Not as genre-savvy as I thought. Besides, even if she WAS right you have amazing charisma you could probably start up a revolution lickity split. Something about how the MIB is anti-american
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No. 249785 ID: 1da845

Alright, we need to find where she went and shut her down.

Check the basement, they always hide the evil sealed in a can in the basement.
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No. 249786 ID: 1e387b

get the scientists working on defenses. if someone thinks up a random cool idea then they can do it, but they should focus on defenses so the MIB can't take over again while you are out.
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No. 253565 ID: f4963f
File 128911238319.jpg - (224.68KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Shopping_01.jpg )
253565

Nicolas resolves to avoid a retaking of the Ignometics building. He gathers the scientists together and makes plans for the institute's defense. They inform him that the Ignometics is in contested territory between the US Military and the MIB, and that contact with the former has already been made. They also have a few hovertanks deployed and are working on reprogramming an automated defense system that had already been in the works.

Nicolas knows very well where Tamana fled - she's fled back to Denver with the rest of the MIB. Fled back to the home base to unfold the rest of her evil plans.

Nic's mind turns to his purchases and favors.
>>
No. 253566 ID: f4963f
File 128911246254.jpg - (217.92KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Shopping_02.jpg )
253566

The scientists tell him that they're willing to cut some losses to help him and his ragtag group due to them singlehandedly liberating the base. They're more than happy to make Tyrael a guitar that shoots LIGHTNING AND DEATH free of charge. They also have abundant parts for creating any of the weapons the building had been producing until it was liberated - Nic and co can have as many of the GAMEBOY GUNS, LASER MACHINE PISTOLS, and HIGH-IMPACT LASER RIFLES as they want.

They're also willing to provide TWO FINANCIAL FUCKTONS worth of upgrades free of cost, but any further upgrades will require Nicolas to dip into his bank accounts and start dropping down the financial status ladder. Fortunately, at the moment Nicolas is VERY WEALTHY. If he wanted, he could hypothetically purchase SEVEN UPGRADES with that money, at the cost of making him completely BROKE. Nicolas likes to think he'll have money to fall back on after the quest is over, though.

The party currently has:
>Two +1 magic shirts on Nicolas and Joel,
>a DAPPER DERRINGER with 2x Piercing upgrades and 1x Shocking
>2x Cure potions, on Nic's person
>Magic-detecting glasses, Ignometics prototype.
>A Thaumic Disrupter, which the scientists recharge for free. 5 charges.
>Magic Duct Tape of Repair.

The Ignometics is offering the following gun upgrades:
-Piercing, Flaming, Range/Accuracy, Impact, Shocking

As well as armor upgrades, sword upgrades, cure potions (3-pack), and other odds and ends.

They do have self-disguises, and they are indeed the Mr Boss glasses, but they're nothing beyond Nic's own powers. The only way Nic's getting illusions past magic detection is if he upgrades his illusions. Perhaps Joel or Tyrael could have a use for them, though.

Nicolas considers how to spend his money.
>>
No. 253567 ID: 6c4937

Alright.

1: Extra Shocking on the Derringer. We'll use it as our anti-vehicle and anti-personnel weapon.
2: Get Tyrael a +2 shirt and upgrade yours and Joel's to +2.
3: Get Joel a Mr Boss disguise kit. Tyrael wouldn't use it, but she would.
4: A 3 pack of CURE potions, for the road.

If I am doing my math right, that'll put us at exactly BROKE. Which is fine, we don't need money in the immediate future. You can always get more by sueing Paraply for damages to your car after all of this is over.
>>
No. 253568 ID: a09a03

It is totally unacceptable that Tyrael's sword has less cutting power than the loaf of bread.

We should give his sword +1 piercing, and get him some low profile protection for his suit.

WAIT. This isn't going to be one of those things where we upgrade one guy and then he quits, right? That is even more unacceptable!!

Also, have the MLP and the Pigdog fight.
>>
No. 253570 ID: 56dc25

>>253566
>armor upgrades
>other odds and ends
If possible, get invisibility and movement speed enchantments. You can already effectively decimate those who oppose you- now you just need to be able to do so faster than they can notice you and react.
>>
No. 253634 ID: c71597

>>253566
Upgrade the sword, extra shocking for the derringer, give an armoured shirt for Tyrael and upgrade the one you and Joel have as well. That should cover it, and give enough cash to gain some more in the future.
>>
No. 253704 ID: 45be60

>>253567
pro tip: it takes money to make money. Spending all of it now for short term gains is bad for the long run.
>>
No. 267264 ID: 055d7b

>>253566
Get Joel whatever gun upgrades she wants. I'd vote for piercing+flaming. Get Tyrael a long flapping scarf or cape. Permanently flapping, regardless of wind. Useful properties are a plus.


They said that small things are significantly easier to enchant, right? Get the SUPERDUPERBOUNCYBALL upgraded with flaming and impact. As many as possible.
>>
No. 270162 ID: 676156

Why the FUCK haven't we given the derringer accuracy yet?
>>
No. 273873 ID: f4963f
File 129574965728.jpg - (204.78KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Shopping_03.jpg )
273873

After taking what feels like months to decide, Nicolas digs into his pockets to cough up some high-quality protection for the group. The Ignometics technicians beef up the protection in Joel and Nic's getups, and add two layers of protection to Tyrael's clothes. The new degree of protection adds limited protection to the exposed skin and, together with the kevlar vests, should render conventional bullets utterly useless.

Shame the MIB's using those less and less these days.

Nicolas invests some hefty money into the weapons too. He stacks a second shocking upgrade onto the derringer to nip the MIB's newly-acquired technophilia in the bud, and talks Tyrael into buying himself a sharpness upgrade to the katana. He asks Joel what sort of upgrade she'd like for the Glock, and she replies that Impact sounds fun. She says something about juggling bad guys in the air, and soon Nicolas agrees.

Nicolas also buys a three-pack of cure potions, and the scientists pitch in a fourth vial out of charity. That leaves two potions per person. Nicolas has a good feeling about their chances.

They also give the prototype super-bouncy-ball to him, though it's not able to be outfitted with weapon upgrades. Nicolas suspects it may serve a weapon-like purpose in and of itself.

Ugh. His bank account is going to hate him for this.
>>
No. 273874 ID: f4963f
File 129574968328.jpg - (158.01KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Shopping_04.jpg )
273874

Nicolas, Joel, and Tyrael find a place for the night. The lawyer-turned-vigilante spends the night checking up on stories of the world outside his little circle for the first time all month. It seems that Tamana's nonsense caused quite a stir. A series of questionable government initiatives have kept the stock market from plummeting out of control, thank god, and reports of what's coming out of Denver get more and more outlandish the further one reads.

Speaking of Denver, Nicolas should learn something about it if he's going to take it over. This thought leads Nicolas to Denver's wikipedia page.
>>
No. 273875 ID: f4963f
File 12957497156.jpg - (362.05KB , 941x635 , Ch5_Shopping_05.jpg )
273875

OH FUCK YOU.

Frustrated, Nicolas decides to hit the sack. There, he has a strange dream...
>>
No. 273876 ID: f4963f
File 129574973493.jpg - (171.16KB , 840x600 , Ch5_Upgrade_01.jpg )
273876

He hears a voice over his shoulder.

"Magic detection, you say? It's a shame your illusions are so weak. Imagine if you had been able to fool a bottom-level cantrip. Imagine if you could turn invisible. Imagine if you could throw up a disguise for your entire party without breaking a sweat. Hell, how about full-party invisibility? Even in combat, mirror images would be quite useful, don't you agree? We could make you a well-rounded psion, Nic. I could offer all that for you."

"Don't listen to that scrub," says a voice over Nic's other shoulder. "You've already invested a level in telekinesis, one more and we will be gods. Would you like to throw a semi? Would you like to throw a semi with your mind? How about force shields? I don't know about you, but being invisible isn't nearly as cool as knocking in the MIB's front doors with a tank."

"Because the most sensible thing for a glass cannon to do is to run headfirst into legions of killer robots," replies the magician-Nic bitterly.

"You're right. Stealth has worked out so well in the past," replies tourney-Nic, chewing on gum.

It looks like they want him to make a choice.
>>
No. 273881 ID: 8bc1ac

One of them has a cape and top hat. Are you sure you can consider this a choice?
>>
No. 273882 ID: a50866

>>273876
Telekinesis. I have a sneaking suspicion that being able to throw a semi around will be supremely useful in the near future.
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No. 273886 ID: 259738

>>273876
Invisibility is awesome. Illusions.
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No. 273911 ID: f6360f

Hmm. I'm thinking that invisibility is too good to pass up. Admittedly, I'm planning to mostly use it as a combat aid, but what a combat aid!
>>
No. 273912 ID: 0a7c41

Invisibility is nice, but if you turn invisible, they can just keep shooting you.

If you turn invincible, they can't. Telekinesis.
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No. 273930 ID: 7979e6

subterfuge? nay, we need brute force, SEMI THROWING IT IS!
>>
No. 273938 ID: e3f578

>>273876
Just eat both of them and see what happens. Take a Third option bro. Devour both of their powers because, honestly, at this stage of the game who gives a shit about balancing issues? WE SHALL BE AN TELEKINETIC GOD OF ILLUSION AND PUNCH THE LEVEL SYSTEM RIGHT ON IT'S FACE
>>
No. 273939 ID: 99e816

Their is no reason we can not shoot them while invisible.
>>
No. 273975 ID: 644ca1

I don't care what choice he represents, go with the voice that has a cape and top hat.
>>
No. 273976 ID: d6ae01

You know, with the force to throw a semi around, you could probably squish some heads, too. Seems a lot faster than going through some silly subterfuge that will just delay having to kill someone anyway.
>>
No. 273977 ID: c71597

>>273876
Throwing shit with your mind is awesome. Lets keep on doing that.
>>
No. 274068 ID: 99433a

Illusions! We are a LAWYER! We do not use brute force, we cheat, lie, and steal our way to victory! Plus, it's totally a cat thing to do. A DOG owner would choose power.
>>
No. 274084 ID: 99e816

>>274068
Yes, we will not be dogs!
>>
No. 274240 ID: 676156

LOOOOOOOOOLDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGS!!!!
>>
No. 274256 ID: 5eabae

>>273938
This.
FOURTH-WALL CHAOTIC ACTION!

Barring that, put a level in Illusions. Disguises might be useful for infiltrating MIB Central.
>>
No. 274280 ID: f5c7b6

Telekinesis.

The MIB cannot escape the long (invisible, intangible) arm of the LAW! Especially not if it's throwing a Semi at them!
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