(6/6) Apples 2023/06/23(Fri)19:49 No. 1066511 ID: 5b4b0a
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You're awakened by the harsh light of day shining in through the crooked shutters.

Ugh... your whole body is stiff and achey. It appears that your Hair Net and sleep mask either came off or were stolen during the night, along with your nipple caps.

Your Magic Tome, staff, and backpack were all protected by anti-theft spells, so that inventory is safe, but you didn't think to cast anything on your person. You hope Pickey was the one who stole your sleeping accessories and not Pokey...

You can hear your feckless apprentice tending to his prodigious morning wood on the balcony adjoining your room.

The smell of frying breakfast wafts in from the hall outside.

What do you want to do first?

Food first. Summon Hash browns if it sucks.

>>1066511
>What do you want to do first?
Check and make sure you've still got The 1st Arkoth Pottery Shard! Because that's really important and you really don't want to lose it!

>>1066511
Stick your head out into the sunlight so that your Wish Gem can fully charge your magic reservoirs.

Do the 1. create hash brown spell and feast. A magnificent dragon sorceress such as yourself does not stoop low enough to eat whatever garbage these peasants are cooking downstairs. they're not up to your standards of what you consider food. (suddenly accidentally get piled under a large mountain of hashbrowns after casting the spell)

>your whole body is stiff and achey
Are they cramps? If so, do the 18. banish cramps spell.

Summon Hashbrowns for yourself and your assistant to go with breakfast. Maybe anyone else you think is deserving of such delicacies. Probably Plum. Best to stay in the good graces of both your chef and your healer.

>>1066511
how does he even take care of such matters

Greet the day on the balcony, and make sure its actually him, and not one of those pests...

>>1066527
Well he literally cant fuck anyone due to the size or close his hands around i guess it involves smacking it up and down and or stimulation of the glans

>>1066533
There's some pretty big monsters in this setting. Not everyone is out of Scrimbalt's league.

>>1066512
this.

Reflect on the tragedy that there wasn't an even larger ridiculously huge boobs dragon sorceress to serve as your sleeping mattress last night.

First things first, tell Scrimbalt that if he is thinking about you over there, or if you hear complaints from outside for his public display, you will hang him off that balcony by his eyelids.

>>1066609

No no, he's totally allowed to think of you, he just can't call out your name or outwardly make it obvious that he's fantasizing about you.

Hair first.
You can't be seen with bed hair.

(1/9) Apples 2023/07/09(Sun)15:33 No. 1067472 ID: e9ee7a
File 168894198473.png - (178.57KB , 600x600 , rhbds 93.png )

>Hair first. You can't be seen with bed hair.

This is the most sensible thing you've heard all day.

This spell's called The Shapely Mane!

All the knots in your hair untangle themselves and within moments your mane is once again beautiful, shiny, and impeccably styled.

(2/9) Apples 2023/07/09(Sun)15:33 No. 1067473 ID: e9ee7a
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Spell No. 5: Shapely Mane is no longer available for casting until you replenish your spells.

(3/9) Apples 2023/07/09(Sun)15:33 No. 1067474 ID: e9ee7a
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>Do the 1. create hash brown spell and feast. A magnificent dragon sorceress such as yourself does not stoop low enough to eat whatever garbage these peasants are cooking downstairs. they're not up to your standards of what you consider food.

Indeed. Let the plebs have their oatmeal pottage. A real sorceress deserves a real sorceress's breakfast!

You summon up your reserves of magic and begin to cast the eldritch abomination that is: Create Hash Browns. May the gods have mercy on your soul.

"Hear me powers of Gold and Brown
Let your oily delights rain down..."

(4/9) Apples 2023/07/09(Sun)15:33 No. 1067475 ID: e9ee7a
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"Smother the earth in starch and fat
Drown the streets in cakes fried flat!"

(5/9) Apples 2023/07/09(Sun)15:33 No. 1067476 ID: e9ee7a
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"Ancient Tubers of the underground,
heed my command:
CREATE HASH BROWNS!"

(6/9) Apples 2023/07/09(Sun)15:34 No. 1067477 ID: e9ee7a
File 168894204048.png - (156.89KB , 600x600 , rhbds 97.png )

Meanwhile Nearby...

Yeoman's Wife: "I can't believe you invited the entire neighborhood to a hash brown breakfast and didn't get any hash browns!

"What, did you think a mountain of hash browns was just going to fall out of the sky??"

(9/9) Apples 2023/07/09(Sun)15:34 No. 1067480 ID: e9ee7a
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"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA AHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!"


+5 Evil Karma.

"What the hell is going on up here??"

Breakfast is going on up here!

>>1067480
...why evil karma? Isn't creating free food in a low class area a Good act? I guess the cleanup could be troublesome if there's too much of it, but nobody's gonna get injured or have property damage. Well, maybe if too much accumulates on a flat roof, but does anyone even have flat roofs around here?

Anyway, get ye hash browns. Look smug at that orange bastard, and then go find who stole your clothes, to retrieve them and also a bit extra, as promised.

...Cyrus' crew was cooking hashbrowns this entire time, wasn't he?

>>1067480
"Didn't your mother teach you to knock?!"

>>1067489

Cyrus responds with: "There is no door to knock!"

(there really is none according to this >>1065262 )

>>1067472
Waste of a good spell slot. Learn beauty cantrips, would ya?!

>>1067480
... Wait, shouldn't you get minor Good Karma for feeding your teammates and the local poor? Doing it primarily for yourself lowers the karma, but still...

Open up your palm, wait for a hash brown to inevitably fall straight in, then say "breakfast". Do not talk while eating.

>>1067480
BEKFAST.
Said in this manner: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s43wuWUpU_I

>>1067483
>>1067491
Clearly, us doing Evil acts always benefits the world in some way. At least, you can't say terror-helping the local populace isn't (always) funny.

>>1067480
Point at him "IM GOING TO HASH YOUR BROWN" "FEAST WITH ME!"

>>1066511
This is the first mention of the word "nipple"

(1/10) Apples 2023/07/28(Fri)22:14 No. 1069213 ID: bc93bc
File 169060767950.png - (238.79KB , 800x800 , rhbds 101.png )

>Open up your palm, wait for a hash brown to inevitably fall straight in, then say "breakfast."

(2/10) Apples 2023/07/28(Fri)22:14 No. 1069214 ID: bc93bc
File 169060768294.png - (247.90KB , 800x800 , rhbds 102.png )

"Breakfast."

"What the hell kind of breakfast is this you maniac? You've blown the whole roof off!"

"Bup bup! Don't talk to me until I've had my hash browns."

(3/10) Apples 2023/07/28(Fri)22:14 No. 1069215 ID: bc93bc
File 169060768806.png - (246.15KB , 800x800 , rhbds 103.png )

>Why evil karma?

Well, first of all, *mmmmph* these hash browns are positively sinful, darling!

Secondly, you've just buried the city knee deep in fried potatoes. Leaving aside the traffic problems this is going to create, there's no way even a starving populace is going to eat all of them before they spoil. Do you have any idea how much vermin this is going to attract?

No, no you've just doomed the kingdom to a plague of insects and rats commiserate with several of the more dire religious texts. That's worth some evil karma for sure.

You probably want to be out of the city fairly soon...

(4/10) Apples 2023/07/28(Fri)22:14 No. 1069216 ID: bc93bc
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Ah, it appears your feckless apprentice has completed his ablutions.

(5/10) Apples 2023/07/28(Fri)22:14 No. 1069217 ID: bc93bc
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Meanwhile Nearby...

Yeoman's Wife: "What do you mean you didn't bring any sour cream? How can you have a hash brown breakfast without sour cream? What, did you think a cartload of sour cream was just going to drop out of the sky??"

(6/10) Apples 2023/07/28(Fri)22:15 No. 1069218 ID: bc93bc
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Yeoman's Wife: "You're kidding..."

(8/10) Apples 2023/07/28(Fri)22:15 No. 1069220 ID: bc93bc
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Yeoman's Wife: "This isn't sour cream, this is kobold cum. My point stands."

Yeoman: "How do you know what kobold cum tastes like?"

(9/10) Apples 2023/07/28(Fri)22:15 No. 1069221 ID: bc93bc
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Scrimbalt returns from the balcony looking considerably relieved.

"About time, apprentice!"

"Sorry mistress, there was several weeks' worth of buildup to take care of..."

"Yes well now that you've lightened your load, maybe we can finally get the day started."

"How about we go downstairs and review the plan..."

"Yes, let's."

(10/10) Apples 2023/07/28(Fri)22:30 No. 1069226 ID: bc93bc
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Cyrus leads you and Scrimbalt down to the main hall of the manor, where a blueprint of the castle lies unrolled on a nearby table.

"See this here? This is the royal treasury of Lundaria. It's loaded with gold and gems and all kinds of priceless junk. Enough to set all of us up for life"

"For life? Hah! You'll have no doubt gambled it away within a month. And what's all this about the royal treasury? I thought we were kidnapping a p-p-p... a p-p-p..."

"*ahem* That we were abducting a royal scion?"

"That's the beauty of it! The treasury is surrounded by a whole labyrinth of traps and monsters. There's no way anybody's breaking in. But the princess? She's wandering around the castle completely unguarded! All we have to do is kidnap her and hold her for ransom, and the king'll empty the royal treasury right into our laps easy as pie!"

"Easy as pie indeed. If so, why do you require a mage of my magnificence? This seems like something even your band of inbred inebriates could handle."

"Yeah well, we thought so too, until poor Poncho found out the hard way the castle has a mage lurking around. I never went to wizard school, but I know it's pretty high level magic to kill someone through a scrying sphere."

"Indeed. Something I could easily accomplish, but not many others. I take it your position was not revealed, or the royal mage would have moved against you by now."

You begin to get an idea of why Cyrus was so far from his base of operations last night. No doubt he wanted to be a safe distance away before the lightning bolts started to fall...

"We got lucky. Looks like he has no idea where we are. Until you decided to get all cloudy with a chance of hashbrowns, that is..."

Oh right. Any decent magic user could probably locate the epicenter of your spell fairly easily from a considerable distance.

Well good.

"The Ridiculously Huge Boobs Dragon Sorceress does not slink and skulk her way around in fear of lesser mages. She announces her arrival to the world!"

"Oh you've announced it alright..."

This queues up the arrival of Insanely Fat Bottomed Wyrm Witch!

Quick Scrimbalt, shield your eyes from her thighs of plenty!!

the populace doesn't need to eat the hash browns, then can still turn them into a fermentation mash. in just a few short months this town will have more vodka than they know what to do with!

>>1069226
take advantage of Scrimbalt's post-nut clarity during the planning. He's should be a genius for a little while after all that.

>>1069215
>>1069219
I see what you mean.

>>1069220
What a &!+(#.

Hm... have you researched any spells that would let you copy Scrimbalt's... you know? Or your rivals' traits?

>>1069226
I say, dig a tunnel to the goal. Even if it's warded with anti-geomancy, you can do half the work now and tunnel out later when you've disabled the wards on the inside.

Really, you should study creative methods of retrieving the contents of the vault.

Here's the plan
we, the RHBDS will use our feral dragon magic to become a terrifying giant feral dragon that will capture the princess in her room by flying over there, and reaching in the window to grab her (assuming we have wings in that form, otherwise, this plan won't work). Scrimbalt will be riding on our back to alert us of any danger, and will carry our staff so that he can do spells to help us.

Prince Limpy will pretend to try and stop us with the help of Plum while also being his "translator". They will pretend to fail to stop us, but it will make them look like the hero in the king's eyes. Once they fail, we can have them gain the trust of the king, and manipulate the king to give us what we need, like convince him to give us the ransom, or if that don't work, ask for the treasure to help fund the journey to save the princess.

Peeky Pokey and Picky will sneak into the castle before we start our kidnapping to let us know when the Princess is in her room for us to snatch, and let us know where the mage is so they don't try and use magic to stop us (not that it will effect us in any way). Peeky is the lookout for where everyone in the castle is and where, Pokey will be the one to stab anyone who finds them and hide the bodies, and Picky will try to swipe any weapons he can from the armory to leave the castle defenseless when we make our grand appearance and capture the princess. Maybe he can swipe the mage's magic tome or whatever he has?

Cyrus will stay out of our way. He's messed with us too many times to be untrustworthy.

I would not call the "hashbrown announcement" only an announcement.
It is best used as breakfast, but also as bait as well as a prime opportunity.

We know the castle has a powerful mage, highly capable and of comparable magical ability.
We also know that they have already dealt with one decent mage who attempted a kidnapping/heist but that there are certainly others working with this now deceased mage.

It is not without reason to suggest and anticipate that they or a significant detachment from the castle may very well be on their way here.

And that is precisely what we want.

If any decent magic user can locate and has seen the effect and power of the spell, than they realize that a much more powerful mage has joined the group the previous mage was apart of.
One that the castle mage may have serious difficulty to stop if at all.

This puts us in a valuable position but only for the next few hours. while the castle handles this situation.
I would anticipate two possible outcomes.
If the castle sends guards to handle the issue they weaken the inner castle defenses if the send enough to eliminate a potentially serious threat and that makes the groups infiltration of the castle and for the princess much easier.

If the mage themselves arrives to sort this out, this would work even better as it removes a key defender from the board if only temporarily. But should allow for much great range of movement and speed in the heist.

Conclusion

I suggest we continue to capitalize on our "announcement" and either make a move against the castle while anticipating that they are now making a move against us.
We could also either leave traps to dwindle numbers even more and buy additional time while they handle it, or leave convincing decoys that will make them assume the threat has been removed.

For a potential plan to kidnap the princess/ break into the castle. We were able to "conquer the gate" by use of levitate objects, judging by the map, we could do this again to get to the princesses tower and kidnap her, and escape through the castle or via some other means.

Not sure if it is possible but is it possible to know what abilities Cyrus can do? Maybe he also has the ability for limited magics? Best to know all options for possible avenues of approach, but I would advise whatever plan to be agreed upon to be hurried and capitalized on.

>>1069230
If she is dead or stuck underground we coild easilly assume her identity if we need too just need to get fat

(1/3) Apples 2023/09/09(Sat)19:14 No. 1072054 ID: 435f13
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>We know the castle has a powerful mage, highly capable and of comparable magical ability.
>We also know that they have already dealt with one decent mage who attempted a kidnapping/heist but that there are certainly others working with this now deceased mage.
>It is not without reason to suggest and anticipate that they or a significant detachment from the castle may very well be on their way here.

You'd hardly call Poncho McBootyshorts a "decent mage." The little troll was barely an enchanter.

But the part about a powerful mage knowing where you are *is* true.

They wouldn't send a detachment of soldiers to deal with you, a mage would know you'd deal with any mundane threats with just a snap of your fingers.

No, they're going to strike back at you themselves. They could have sent a bolt of lightning already, but it wouldn't do them much good without knowing your exact location to within a square yard or so, and it would reveal their precise location.

The hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Your wish gem tingles. There's magic in the air.

There's no doubt about it, a Sorcerous Duel has begun. Not to be confused with a "Sorceress Duel" which is a type of Sorcerous Duel between sorceresses. Unless your opponent is a woman, in which case a Sorceress Duel has also begun!

At the moment, you're restricted to your prepared spells. You'll need your Tome of Magic if you wish access to your full arsenal.

"Scrimbalt! Fetch my Tome of Magic! Hurry!"

"At once, mistress!"

(2/3) Apples 2023/09/09(Sat)19:15 No. 1072055 ID: 435f13
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Scrimbalt scurries upstairs as fast as he can. Your scalp continues to prickle. Your opponent has already made their first move, but you still have no idea what's coming.

You keep your ears perked and your eyes shifting between the shadows as the rest of Cyrus's Crew watch you with confused expressions. They don't know what's up yet, though Cyrus seems a little on edge. His wish gem is probably tingling, too.

Suddenly you hear Scrimbalt's high-pitched scream from upstairs. There's a loud crash and seconds later your apprentice comes tumbling down the stairs, crashing hard into a pillar at the bottom!

"SCRIMBALT!"

"What the hell is going on??"

(3/3) Apples 2023/09/09(Sat)19:15 No. 1072056 ID: 435f13
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A bellowing roar echoes through the hall and the sound of heavy footsteps sends tremors through the floor.

A lumpy behemoth looms out of the darkness at the top of the stairs. Its eyes are dark pits in a crude face shiny with hot oil. The beast roars again and its breath smells like stale grease and fried potatoes.

Looks like your opponent has summoned a Hash Brown Elemental to come and kill you!

You... you don't even need to use magic for this one, whoever magic'd this brought you a bit of an early lunch.

Commit vore on the elemental, invite your party to join in too!

You have to show them that you're really not scared

You're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare

So eat it

Summon goose to eat this mostrosity!

no time to think! cast summon goose, the hunger of a ravenous waterfowl will make short work of the carbohydrate creature!

Interesting. Could your opponent be countering your spells by absorbing some insight from the effects only to create a wildly different spell with the same elemental traits?

You are a dragon. Roast and devour.

>>1072059
>>1072060
>>1072063
ok actually it would be funny if you flame'd it, summoned goose, and all had a grand meal!

Making a quick ammendment to my suggestion
Summon goose to HELP you eat the monster. Theres no way youre going to finish all that without getting a stomach ache. Goose will help tho.

>>1072057

All your opponent did was bring your breakfast to you.

Hmm...

I'd assume our duelist is testing the waters a bit here with such a simple foe. While others suggest the obvious choice to handle such a threat, suppose for a moment, that that is precisely what they want you to do.They most likely felt the same effect when they arrived and are sending this elemental to burn your spells and gauge your ability or render you immobile. It would certainly make the upcoming battle between you two much easier on them.

I would suggest surf heated with your fire breath to be the most practical to break up the elemental since it is composed of grease and sufficiently heated water dissolves grease and should swiftly dispatch this foe.

But I also agree with the others who have suggested the summoning of the goose,but that would release a far greater plague upon this world and the only way to remove it is to summon another, I'm not sure this place could take two. use only as a last resort.

Cyrus and his crew most likely will be escaping as you handle this elemental. Cyrus does not appear nor is the type that will stick around and help, more to leave it up to you and you should not expect his assistance unless he has no choice.

But.... You may be able to force his hand if you snatch that map of the royal treasury that's still on the table. Not sure how it was acquired but it is most likely very integral to the plan and without it it most likely couldn't succeed without it. You could use it to force their assistance with this fight and possibly the one upcoming in exchange for not burning it or destroying it. No honor amongst thieves after all, just be mindful and careful of Picky.

Summon geese nutz!

Ha, gottem!

>>1072056
ITS BREAKFAST TIME summon your inner starved child then very fat preteen as puperty hit, as its TIME TO FEAST

1/6 Apples 2023/12/11(Mon)13:36 No. 1079129 ID: 435f13
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>Summon goose to eat this mostrosity!

>no time to think! cast summon goose, the hunger of a ravenous waterfowl will make short work of the carbohydrate creature!

>Summon goose to HELP you eat the monster. Theres no way youre going to finish all that without getting a stomach ache. Goose will help tho.

>Summon geese nutz!

You cast Summon Goose!. The wicked bird glares hatefully around the room with beady eyes. It is clearly upset at having been summoned from its home plane of K'anada.

For bringing such an evil creature into this world, you have accrued +8 Evil Karma.

2/6 Apples 2023/12/11(Mon)13:36 No. 1079130 ID: 435f13
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Summon Goose has been expended.

3/6 Apples 2023/12/11(Mon)13:36 No. 1079131 ID: 435f13
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The goose lets out a terrifying honk and immediately attacks Plum, hissing and beating her with its wings.

Your allies have been thrown into confusion.

4/6 Apples 2023/12/11(Mon)13:36 No. 1079132 ID: 435f13
File 170233058603.png - (152.14KB , 800x800 , rhbds 117.png )

Perfect. With your allies safely occupied by the goose, there is no one to get in your way.

5/6 Apples 2023/12/11(Mon)13:36 No. 1079133 ID: 435f13
File 170233059241.png - (178.10KB , 800x800 , rhbds 118.png )

>Commit vore on the elemental

>ITS BREAKFAST TIME summon your inner starved child then very fat preteen as puperty hit, as its TIME TO FEAST

You leap upon the startled hashbrown elemental and begin to feast. Your Draconic Appetite is more than a match for the starchy monstrosity.

The hashbrown elemental roars piteously as it is consumed.

6/6 Apples 2023/12/11(Mon)13:36 No. 1079134 ID: 435f13
File 170233059517.png - (181.76KB , 800x800 , rhbds 119.png )

The hashbrown elemental has been defeated!

You let out a triumphant belch and collapse to the floor, your belly stretched to its limit by 500lbs of fried potatoes.

You are now encumbered!

Well darn. Well, it looks like your going to need to have scrimbalt use his giant dick like a forklift to carry you around... again.

Welp til you finish digesting you are now Ridiculously Huge Belly Dragon Sorceress.

well, looks like she's not so priddy anymore

>>1079134
Sit back, relax, and digest while you watch these assholes get mauled by a goose.

Nonsense! Your beauty cannot be marred by mere girth! Now hold on just—maybe you can—roll or—otherwise majestically begin the hunt for your mysterious wizardly foe.

You know what pairs well wit mashed (fried) potatoes, right? Turkey, but goose will do. Preferably with ketchup, the favored condiment of K'anadaians.

>>1079143

Lure the goose in with some of the remaining hash. Thankfully, geese are stupid, so you should be able to-

Hey! Don't touch that you stupid goose! Give that back! Don't make us run right now, just bring it- Gah! What the hell, don't honk at us so suddenly!

>>1079139
This because dinner and a show

1/2 Apples 2023/12/11(Mon)20:34 No. 1079168 ID: 435f13
File 170235569416.png - (118.08KB , 800x800 , rhbds 120.png )

>Well darn. Well, it looks like your going to need to have scrimbalt use his giant dick like a forklift to carry you around... again.

Looks like your feckless apprentice is still unconscious and pinned beneath your Magical Tome.

2/2 Apples 2023/12/11(Mon)20:42 No. 1079171 ID: 435f13
File 170235613217.png - (142.07KB , 800x800 , rhbds 121.png )

>Sit back, relax, and digest while you watch these assholes get mauled by a goose.

Faced by such a terrible foe, Prince Limpy has no choice but to unsheathe the legendary invincible Bloodline Sword! The magical sword is the bane of all evil and has never failed to strike its target.

There is a horrible honk, a scream, a flash of silver steel and the goose falls dead, its heart pierced by the legendary blade.

Prince Limpy has slain the goose!

Unfortunately, victory comes at a terrible price. During the struggle, the goose managed to land a fatal nip on the prince's thumb. All of Limpy's pure, royal blood drains from his body in seconds.

With the last of his strength, Prince Limpy manages to gasp out a few parting words before his eyes close forever...

"Aht laosht, Ahr ahm a truah heroah, eh wot?"

With the passing of the Last of the Bloodline Heroes the legendary Bloodline Sword dissolves into mist...

Prince Limpy has fallen in battle!

The hairs of your mane begin to tingle once again. Your sorcerous opponent has cast another spell!

Don't let Limpy's sacrifice be in vain. Save some of the the ROYAL BLOOD in a flask to empower your counterspell!

Why don't you use Ghostly Step to sneak out and find the sorcerer? Let the crew here deal with whatever minions she summons to fight for her.

>>1079174

Good call, you may not get to collect it later.

>>1079176
Thirding the theft of blood but also ghostly step yo self outta here, they'll never hear your massively endowed and heavily encumbered footfall coming

Wow. It's clear that you mistake your inner demons for gods. You killed the keystone of your plan because you enviously craved hash browns that nobody else wanted!

Cast Blood Rain using Limpy's blood to unleash a slew of incurable diseases upon the castle. Then it's just a matter of waiting for their slow and horrific deaths before you can raid the vault for everything.

Oh, and power your Soul Gem with the Princess' Ghost.

Methinks it will have to be Ghostly Roll now that you have become orb.
Fourthing the blood get, you never know.

Oh thank goodness. I mean oh no, how tragic.

How high can Evil Karma get again? Do you remember what happened when it stacks? If we have to balance it out, there's always spending magic on helping the odd innocent bystander.

That's no one here, at least.

>>1079178
Would be a shame to let all that blood go to waste after all. Inflict feebleness and dysintery upon your foes.

>>1079171
okay TIME FOR MAGIC lets see what spell in our book we can use we should have a classic revival spell or something to put the blood back in and a electric shock to start the heart he has not gone cold yet and it has not been 2 minutes so there is still hope.
we could also save his sperm atleast

>>1079130
>>1079190
for possible plan
1: Banish Cramps for your stomach
then
2: Levitate object your stomach so you can atleast crawl on all 4 to your book or ghost step to the book so you can find the needed spell to save limpy

even if he has no blood you can always put it in and give his heart a shock or something perhaps you can make him reborn/reincarnate/recreating his body

Eh, somebody probably has a clone jar spell, right? Just save some of that blood. Or guess you could power word cum on him and save that to try artificially inseminate someone later. Eventually the genetic lottery might reconvene the genes into someone who's pure-blooded by whatever technicality the sword judges on, right?... Ok, not the best plan. Where did Plum get to, isn't it her job to keep him alive?

Anyway, your immediate problem is being able to move. Either use Milk Blast to drop some calories quick (maybe if you aim up towards your opponent it'll make a wet floor to distract them? Set up a combo into surf?) or feral form to have more legs to walk with, or wings to help lift yourself up, or something. Just get moving! You're a sitting duck!

You know Levitate boobs (legendary) by default, right? That was enough to lift your whole body last time, should provide enough lift now that you can at least walk around.

>>1079200
when moving we need a goal in mind such as the book and figure out the situation.
not sure milk blast would work as the food is not digested, other then painfully crawling but rapid casting the cramp removal will remove some future issues with moving atleast actually not sure how fast we can spell diffrent spells

I kinda want some of our servants who arent immobile to roll us around like some kind of katamari ball

>>1079134
Note to self: memorize some sort of rapid metabolism spell un the future

Don't forget to grab the goose carvass too. It's a prince slayer and bloodline ender now, very valuable.

Use Boost Caboose to move that potato weight to your butt.

Quick, say " no hemo" so Limpy stops bleeding.

Then cast the spell for uuh... losing weight fast.

>>1079351

That would have been a good spell to prepare, last night, before Limpy died just now. Already. Forever. Completely. Never to be raised as a zombie, because who would do that?

>>1079365
If its the goblins fault for not protecting him can could just jam in the batter for reincarnation/continuation of the bloodline its not like they have tried not doing incest