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91853 No. 91853 ID: 02d9ae

So here's a discussion thread. I originally planned on waiting until after finishing the first thread to post this... but since then I've come to the conclusion that at the very least it'd be useful to have a place for criticism, DIG being my first quest and all.

Any criticism/advice anyone might care to share would be greatly appreciated, and I'll be happy to answer any questions anyone might have about DIG's characters, setting, etc. Have at it, folks.
Expand all images
No. 91854 ID: dbe554

What are the various species/races at play? Certainly interesting to see what's been in so far.
No. 91855 ID: defceb

I REALLY like this quest.

The style makes me think of a french version of wind waker NPC designs. I'm not sure why french, but that's what comes to mind so there ya go.
No. 91859 ID: 092bdf

Btw. did I miss the reason for the tubes our humanly friends have sticking in their noses?
No. 91863 ID: 518b46

Something about the designs also struck me as French.

????? I have zero idea why.
No. 91864 ID: 02d9ae

I'm going to make a series of posts in this thread, detailing over the species/races present in the DIG world. I'm gonna include some illustrations, so I won't have them ready immediately.

Thanks! I'm really glad you're enjoying it.

I definitely see what you mean about the Wind Waker aspect of it--it wasn't intentional on my part, but WW probably did serve as a subconscious inspiration for the Nolor design. The French aspect is an interesting angle; at the very least, I did include some French influence, in terms of names: e.g., "Remy le Bagnard" is a French name (and kind of intentionally cheesy), and the name "Argenty" is supposed to be reminiscent of some regions of France, such as Normandy and Brittany. (Also, since Argenty does its fair share of despicable things, I think it's worth mentioning that I don't mean for it to be any sort of criticism or jab at France--the connections are purely aesthetic.)

As for the designs themselves seeming French, I can't say I planned on that, but I don't mind the comparison either. My guess is that it's the big noses.

Nope, you didn't miss it. I had planned on letting the explanation for it come out a bit more "organically", through people having Lemo ask about it, or maybe having Remy bring it up once there was a good reason to do so. It's no big deal that it didn't happen, though--perhaps Lemo isn't curious about it, since every Nolor he's ever seen has worn a respirator of some kind, and he just doesn't question it. The respirators are for supplying phloxum, a colorless, odorless gas that is necessary for the generation of body heat in Nolors' bodies. Without it, they effectively become cold-blooded. At one time phloxum was abundant in the atmosphere, but it isn't anymore and instead has to be mined for underground (similar to how natural gas is mined). A notable exception to this are Clezeans (such as Mo), who do have some ability to generate body heat independently, but using phloxum augments the process.
No. 91873 ID: a19cd5

i do feel the french thing too but its entirely because of that moustache and nose
No. 91874 ID: a19cd5

i do feel the french thing too but its entirely because of that moustache and nose
No. 91897 ID: 092bdf

Interesting idea with the phloxum... But do they turn truly cold-blooded as retiles or will they just drop dead because of under-temperature?

Anyway, as you said in your quest that you have trouble with links/site-features:
if you like to have a more intuitive Message-Editor than the inbuild one (e.g. a preview-button), you could try my script
or with a bit better overview:
Riotmode may have discovered a bug if you use it in chrome+tampermonkey but it seems fine in firefox and opera...
No. 91901 ID: 02d9ae

They gradually lose the ability to move, eventually passing out from hypothermia, and dying if it's been long enough. So, they're technically still warm-blooded, except that they lack a necessary chemical for thermogenesis.

Also, yeah, I tried tgchan-Blick with Chrome and Tampermonkey, and it would stop working for me after a day or so. I really liked it, so I'll give it another try in Firefox. Thanks for the suggestion--it hadn't occurred to me that Tampermonkey was the culprit.
No. 92037 ID: e114bc

You uh, may have overdone the drama there in Lemo's flashback.
No. 92039 ID: 02d9ae


Yeah, in retrospect it's a lot to take in. My intention was to give the impression that all of this stuff is rushing back to him before he can really process it all, but I think I didn't give enough thought to whether it'd be too much at once. Hindsight's 20/20, I suppose, but I probably should have just teased a thing or two, made it all more vague, or waited to bring these things up at a later time.

Frankly, I've been wondering whether I've bit off more than I can chew, with this quest; I think I may have made the setting/the powers in it/etc. too elaborate or complicated for this medium, and with too much plot planning. It's probably not something I could've realized ahead of time, since I had no experience running one of these before now. It might be that this quest would be better suited to being a comic or something, I'm not sure.

So, I'm interested in hearing people's opinions: are you interested in seeing this quest continue, particularly in terms of it having future chapters? (Since I'd planned on doing multiple--also a mistake, I think.) If people want it to keep going, then I'll be glad to continue it, and try my best to modify things from here on out to keep it more open-ended and player-driven. If interest is waning, though, then I think I'd rather put this one on indefinite hiatus and try again another time with a new idea that involves much less planning and a much more exploratory play style.
No. 92041 ID: dbe554

Certainly been enjoying it thus far! Want to see it continue.
No. 92042 ID: ab7529

Dunno, seeme fine to me. It was pretty apparent from the last update that separation and brainwashing was imminent.

The plotting world doesn't seem too much to take in, at least so far. We've got an overbearing government clearly willing to enslave and brainwash another species to exploit their natural advantage. They mine a rock whose powers we don't fully know, but functions as a power source, and likely plays a big part in industrialization here, with likely military applications, and possibly computational ones as well.

And then we have the bits that don't fit yet- body that was kept in storage, the ghost thing, why and how the fungus monster and so many MPs got involved.

So far as I can tell, you didn't commit the cardinal sin of an overdone setting (miles and miles of infodump without any plot). And being a little bit railroady in the introductory part of a story isn't atypical.
No. 92047 ID: defceb

Keep going!
No. 92053 ID: 2f4b71

I'm a big sucker for In Media Res, so I've got no complaints about having a complex setting that isn't immediately revealed and explained. I'm really liking the little touches like all the humans constantly wearing some variety of assisted breathing apparatus.
No. 92054 ID: 518b46

I am super duper interested in this quest continuing. So far it hasn't been hard to figure out or anything, I wouldn't say!
No. 92055 ID: 02d9ae

First of all, thanks a lot for the input, everyone. I'm sorry if this all came across as dramatic or attention-seeking; I certainly didn't mean for it to do so. I've felt a bit unsure of myself lately in regards to this quest, being an amateur at this and generally prone to second-guessing myself, and in the moment I felt like >>92037's comment was confirming my worries. (And it probably did, to some degree--I don't believe
they're wrong to think that it was a melodramatic update, since I did lay it on pretty thick, I admit.) I just reacted foolishly due to my own insecurity. My primary goal with this quest is to please and entertain, so I don't want to discourage negative criticism; in the future I'm going to make an effort to be less hasty in the face of it.

This really helps alleviate a lot of my concerns. Judging from what you're saying, everything is going to plan, so to speak. Before starting the quest I spent some time writing out notes about the world and the forces (political or otherwise) present in it, and the reasons behind it all. My plan so far has been to let information come out at times that seemed appropriate, in amounts that are reasonable for the situation. (E.g., I won't have a character spill their entire backstory without there being a really good reason for it.) The description you've given of the story so far pretty much confirms that I've been doing a decent enough job at it.

As for railroading--yeah, that's been a concern of mine, but I'm glad to know that it isn't that big of a deal if it happens at appropriate times, such as in the beginning like this. For what it's worth, I've planned on "cutting loose" the main characters to some degree sooner rather than later--that is, giving them more autonomy (via suggestions, etc.) and presenting a situation in which their immediate goals aren't quite as rigid as "run away".

In Medias Res is exactly what I've been shooting for--I think it makes the setting feel more alive. Same goes with the little touches; I'm trying to give the impression of a world with significant history and current events.

Again, thanks a ton for your opinions, and I'm glad you're enjoying the quest! That alone is reason enough for me to continue running it.
No. 92066 ID: a19cd5

Man just remember that you learn more from a failed experiment than a successful one.

Worst-case your thing is bad, and you can learn from last time to make a better thing.
No. 92108 ID: d4a543

Having a well-developed world is great! The emotional stuff in the flashback was pretty heavy, but right from the start it was clear this is a quest about escaping slavery and ancient powers awakening within the earth, so some of that is to be expected.

You need to have some sort of a plot thread so things keep moving, and you need to understand the dynamics of the surrounding landscape well enough to respond appropriately when somebody suggests something reasonable yet unexpected. It sounds like you've got that, and I'm eager to see where this goes.
Even if it's a complete train wreck, better to play things out for a while so you can learn more than just the initial point of failure.
No. 92115 ID: e114bc

So who else has tried out that weird sandwich?

I've found the mustard has a tendency to take over the taste of it. You gotta be careful.
No. 92150 ID: 02d9ae

Good point. A mistake is an opportunity for learning, etc.

You're braver than I am--there's no way I'm trying that sandwich.

Then again, I did intentionally make it something I'd find disgusting, so...
No. 92167 ID: e114bc

I put a reasonable amount of mustard on it instead of slathering it over the egg, and it tastes pretty decent. Weird, but decent.
No. 92699 ID: 742b4a

Is the latest update implying they're going to use him as a sex slave?
No. 92737 ID: caa2be

On the one hand if they were it means mud's acknowledging my shitposting, but on the other hand it would mean mud's acknowledging my shitposting
No. 92805 ID: 02d9ae

I didn't want to answer this until I'd posted the latest update, but the idea hadn't crossed my mind, actually--I'd intended for it to sound like they were planning on attacking him in some way. With the latest post, though, I think it's clear what they were trying to do.

Haha, well, truth be told I tried to figure out a way to put your suggestion in there, but I couldn't see Lemo having a reaction to it that wasn't along the lines of "...What?" And it just seemed out of place for the current situation anyway, so I didn't include it.
No. 93221 ID: 0fc976

Hypothesis: K-084 is a member of the previous generation of diggers - likely a relative of Lemo's. The book is a journal of the experiments done to them.
-Uh, shoot, I guess that's all I have on that right now.
Well, uh, I guess the Nolor have an even bigger hole in their ozone phloxum layer to worry about than we do. Perhaps quartz is not the clean energy source they thought it was?
No. 93724 ID: 2eeb65

Dude! I don't get why you're so hard on yourself. Your quest is great! In my opinion at least.

And I especially like your art. Truth to be told, it was the art that got me curious enough to read through the whole story (I just found it today). I could definitely see a comic in that style, but that doesn't mean it doesn't fit a quest as well.

The story's fine, too. And the map got me interested in what's in all those other countries and whether we'll ever get there.

So yeah, keep doing what you're doing!

P.S.: My hypothesis is that the Nolor are from another planet which has more phloxum in its atmosphere (maybe some kind of plants that constantly produce it), who have conquered this planet and enslaved its inhabitants a long time ago. They've lived on the planet long enough to evolve into several races, and have slowly used its low amount of phloxum.
No. 94111 ID: ab7529

I am amused how quickly we got Lemo to internalize paranoia-grade skepticism. It's kind of great.
No. 94142 ID: c0fe75
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