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File 125570678963.png - (12.24KB , 640x400 , Splash.png )
4788 No. 4788 ID: 5eea01

So, seeing as this is my first real attempt at writing a story that sort of makes sense AND making any sort of art, I would very much like to hear feedback on what you like or dislike about my rather amateurish quest, as well as what you think I'm doing wrong.

Fire away!
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No. 4789 ID: 954933

I actually just gave it a read-through away and am enjoying it. The art style is pretty cute. I've got no other feedback at the moment, other than to keep up the good work.
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No. 4821 ID: 9891a9

Definitely loving the "network" theme of this quest, the simplistic character design works well for the setting, and the bland rooms have a reason for lack of detail, which likely saves time both in your creation of and our analyzing of the images. It's a bit short and doesn't seem to have a clear focus yet, but I'm hoping for some excellent development in the near future.
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No. 12222 ID: 5eea01

I finally decided to dig up this old thread for feedback and/or voting purposes. If you have anything to swear at me for, do it here.

First vote: Johnny or Bartholomew?
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No. 12226 ID: c9eb99

>>322022
Consider this a vote for Johnny
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No. 12227 ID: 3b6c92

>>322022
Uhh, Bartholomew, I guess?
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No. 12229 ID: 5eea01
File 126816012131.png - (16.14KB , 800x600 , DressedUp.png )
12229

[[I realize I should have explained further in case people see the feedback thread first. The one on the left is already named Nicky, the one on the right needs a name. Suggested so far have been Johnny (Five) and Bart(holomew), but you can make your own suggestions.]]
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No. 12234 ID: 197650

Bartholomew
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No. 12244 ID: 126a73

Bart's a good enough name, methinks.
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No. 12262 ID: c0f3bf

Bartholomew is most excellent.
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No. 12279 ID: 5eea01

Bartholomew it is. Voting closed.
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No. 12281 ID: 61d96f

how meta would it be to tell Tycho that i have a degree in computer/networking repair and maintenance? (i really do have one, it's framed and on my wall.)
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No. 12282 ID: 5eea01

>>322081
That would only matter if the Grid worked like the Internet or modern computing in general. It doesn't. But yeah, that'd be weird.
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No. 13157 ID: 1ac39d

i finally figured it out! gridlock is like the RPG segments of Mr. Robot!
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