Baron 2025/12/29(Mon)21:29 No. 144699 ID: 89ca74
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Balzhemund(2): "AAAUGH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK!"

Squad 1 Callsign Bolly:"Another Balzhemund?"

Team lead Smolly:"HQ Bird is out of the cave, it is out of the cave! Send backup!"

Baron 2025/12/29(Mon)21:30 No. 144700 ID: 89ca74
File 176707260273.png - (489.02KB , 1680x1050 , decemberweentheGremming5.png )

Estuans interius summa confusione

Balzhemund(2): "AAAUGH WHY AM I SO TINY?!"Estuans interius

Balzhemund(4): "Wait I'm not Balzhemund I didn't even graduate high school!"summa confusione
GREMEROTH

GREMEROTHSquad 2 Callsign Kringle: "All squads converge. Shit level: fan!"

Squad 2 Callsign Krinkle:"There's too many of them! Don't touch-"Null cogitoBalzhemund(11): "I didn't even get hit with a headband! Why?!" null caputes



Gremzhemund(?):"Hmm...smuggled gun is gone, unable to strap headbands to random passersby. Setback made irrelevant: I'm now incognito. Phase 2 progressing faster than anticipated. Proceeding to Phase 3."

Absurdity DeVoid 2025/12/30(Tue)17:08 No. 144702 ID: 4619d0
File 176714331742.jpg - (1.15MB , 2246x1682 , Core 546.jpg )

Amadore and Rags are enjoying the ice ring.

Anonymous 2026/01/01(Thu)10:38 No. 144717 ID: 90684d
File 176729268897.png - (336.33KB , 1400x900 , Bacon materialize on the table before their eyes_.png )

>>144683
A long strip of bacon appear on the table. At least it look like bacon. Bacon shouldn't be this long. Maybe it's some kind of fake factory bacon. Maybe it's a flat vermin that happen to look like bacon.

(1/15) maddie 2026/01/02(Fri)23:25 No. 144724 ID: 39a511
File 176742514857.png - (574.14KB , 848x848 , 1.png )

We return to Maya and Jaden, who seem to have taken up Sam's offer of fine dining (the Rainforest Café). Jaden notices a metallic taste in his meal.

(3/15) maddie 2026/01/02(Fri)23:26 No. 144726 ID: 39a511
File 176742517175.png - (326.34KB , 848x848 , 3.png )

Jaden: "Maya I think we should leave soon."
Maya: "nonsense! we still havent given our gift yet."
Jaden: "That's because we haven't figured out what to give."
Maya: "thats what YOU think! while youve been eating that battery, IVE figured out what to get as our gift!"

(4/15) maddie 2026/01/02(Fri)23:26 No. 144727 ID: 39a511
File 176742517908.png - (575.18KB , 848x848 , 4.png )

Maya: "LETS GO!!!!!!!!!"
Jaden: "Um-um-we should pay-we should pay-HOW ARE YOU SO STRONG?!- aAND THANKS FOR HANGING OUTBYE??"

(5/15) maddie 2026/01/02(Fri)23:28 No. 144730 ID: 39a511
File 176742533138.png - (418.91KB , 848x848 , 5.png )

Jaden: "Safety scissors?"
Maya: "yeah cause shes all about pain and stuff."
Jaden: "Why safety specifically?"
Maya: "i saw a dude lose an eye running with one of these. it feels more intimate than just a random weapon. do you think we should get some advil in case her name is ironic? like shes just resigned to pain or something?"
Jaden: "Probably, just in case. "

(6/15) maddie 2026/01/02(Fri)23:31 No. 144733 ID: 39a511
File 176742546416.png - (405.34KB , 848x848 , 6.png )

Maya: "just these, please."
"That'll come out to $12.20."
Maya: "oh, actually, while we're here..."
Jaden: "Wh-"

(7/15) maddie 2026/01/02(Fri)23:31 No. 144734 ID: 39a511
File 176742548662.png - (415.00KB , 848x848 , 7.png )

Maya: "there! all these!"
Maya: "jaden where are you going. i need you to pay for these."
Maya: "we're doing this together, right?"

(8/15) maddie 2026/01/02(Fri)23:31 No. 144735 ID: 39a511
File 176742549715.png - (393.02KB , 848x848 , 8.png )

Jaden: "F-fuckin- ALRIGHT! YES!"
Maya: "yay!"

(10/15) maddie 2026/01/02(Fri)23:31 No. 144737 ID: 39a511
File 176742551860.png - (263.55KB , 848x848 , 10.png )

Jaden: "And for the record, you should have WAY more questions!!"
Maya: "jaden lets GO"
Jaden: "grgmrngrgrgrnfgh"

(11/15) maddie 2026/01/02(Fri)23:32 No. 144738 ID: 39a511
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Maya: "YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

(12/15) maddie 2026/01/02(Fri)23:32 No. 144739 ID: 39a511
File 176742553728.png - (476.86KB , 848x848 , 12.png )

Maya: "okay i got you a weapon in case that was your thing, and some advil in case it was the opposite."

(13/15) maddie 2026/01/02(Fri)23:32 No. 144740 ID: 39a511
File 176742554974.png - (466.69KB , 848x848 , 13.png )

Maya: "it seems like sex is a thing with you but i wasnt sure what pussy size you have, so i just got you all of them."

(14/15) maddie 2026/01/02(Fri)23:32 No. 144741 ID: 39a511
File 176742556208.png - (466.49KB , 848x848 , 14.png )

Maya: "in case you dont like condoms, i heard IUDs were a good alternative online. i couldnt find any but they had IEDs."
Jaden: "MAYA WHAT THE FUCK"

Absurdity DeVoid 2026/01/03(Sat)16:42 No. 144743 ID: 4619d0
File 176748733046.jpg - (441.51KB , 644x683 , Core 555.jpg )

The Priestess of Pain's inner thoughts: "What kind of strange gifts these two have given to me, not to mention how these two are strange as well."

Absurdity DeVoid 2026/01/03(Sat)16:44 No. 144744 ID: 4619d0
File 176748747822.jpg - (411.54KB , 644x683 , Core 556.jpg )

The Priestess of Pain's inner thoughts: "Not to mention all the chaos that is happening in this strange temple. But honestly, I am not afraid of all that is happening around me. It is not like anybody can even hurt me in here."

Absurdity DeVoid 2026/01/03(Sat)16:45 No. 144745 ID: 4619d0
File 176748751858.jpg - (384.88KB , 677x578 , Core 557.jpg )

The Priestess of Pain's inner thoughts: "I know what the first tool is, but the second one is unknown to me."

Absurdity DeVoid 2026/01/03(Sat)16:46 No. 144746 ID: 4619d0
File 176748757171.jpg - (355.14KB , 548x646 , Core 558.jpg )

The Priestess of Pain's inner thoughts: "The cat looks like somebody who is emotionally immature. She shows how she is feeling and constantly switches her mood."

Absurdity DeVoid 2026/01/03(Sat)16:47 No. 144747 ID: 4619d0
File 176748765691.jpg - (552.25KB , 746x725 , Core 559.jpg )

The Priestess of Pain's inner thoughts: "While the dog is more stressed out and looking for dangers. But when she is not doing that, she seems like her mind is outside of her body, and she is staring in the distance."

Absurdity DeVoid 2026/01/03(Sat)16:49 No. 144748 ID: 4619d0
File 176748775643.jpg - (140.97KB , 541x242 , Core 561.jpg )

The Priestess of Pain's inner thoughts: "But I shouldn't be so judgmental, they are young after all. I was like that in my past, and their past will not define them."

Absurdity DeVoid 2026/01/03(Sat)16:51 No. 144749 ID: 4619d0
File 176748791853.jpg - (245.57KB , 472x536 , Core 560.jpg )

The Priestess of Pain: "Thank you for the gifts. I might use one of the tools for an upcoming performance. It all depends on my gift recipient."

This could be very lucky or very unlucky. I'll take the chance to do something while she's distracted by her gifts.

>>144671
Welcome to the mall, moth lady! Glad you finally made it. Enjoy the festivities, and don't be too put off by the locals. They might seem a bit weird at first, but a lot of them are fun once you get to know them. But some of them aren't, so approach them caution.

Tineola: My gift to you is a chastity belt. You get a sleek, form-fitting design with a built-in locking mechanism, so you can wear it discreetly under your new clothes.

Just thought you'd appreciate it if the colorless bird lady starts getting touchy-feely in a way you don't like. Or maybe in a way you do like. But you might need to take it somewhere else if you start getting intimate. We try to keep things safe for public viewing here in the mall.

Silicon 2026/01/04(Sun)07:32 No. 144753 ID: 414b45
File 176754072665.png - (747.54KB , 1500x1000 , Cribsmash_03_A.png )

Agents Fera and Gladii have gone over the entire bookstore to find some appropriate gift.
Fera is examining yet another book shelf when...

>>144669

Fera: "Hey what's this? Someone left a photograph here. Uhm... How peculiar! Hey Gladii, look at this weird photo!"

Silicon 2026/01/04(Sun)07:32 No. 144754 ID: 414b45
File 176754073155.png - (751.96KB , 1500x1000 , Cribsmash_03_B.png )

Gladii: "..."
Fera: "This is really strange!"
Gladii: "It is."
Fera: "Okay, so I guess we're just gonna keep looking."
Gladii: "Let's do just that."

Silicon 2026/01/04(Sun)07:32 No. 144755 ID: 414b45
File 176754073836.png - (487.22KB , 1500x1000 , Cribsmash_03_C.png )

Fera: "Well this one looks cute! It's titled A Daisy Among Briars."

It is too high up for Fera to reach, so Gladii takes it down and flips through a couple random pages.

Gladii: "Mmmh, I think not. This will not send the right message."
Fera: "What do you mean?"
Gladii: "It's quite graphic."
Fera: "Oh. Like... too violent?"
Gladii: "No."

Agent Gladii puts the book back.

Silicon 2026/01/04(Sun)07:32 No. 144756 ID: 414b45
File 176754074881.png - (490.58KB , 1500x1000 , Cribsmash_03_D.png )

Fera: "Well that's it, I guess we need to move on. Or find a different strategy. otherwise we'll be here forever."
Gladii: "Hmm, I think I may have just found a solution."

Silicon 2026/01/04(Sun)07:32 No. 144757 ID: 414b45
File 176754076030.png - (517.84KB , 1500x1000 , Cribsmash_03_E.png )

Agent Gladii approaches Samsara, festive envelope in hand.

Gladii: "Good afternoon. Do not be alarmed! I come bearing a peace offering. I... I am sorry for- Well not exactly sorry, but... I apologize for trying to kill you. Or rather for killing you though it didn't actually turn out that way in the end."
Gladii: "What I mean to say is, I am not going to try that again. On behalf of the Agency I present you with this gift of reconciliation."

Silicon 2026/01/04(Sun)07:32 No. 144758 ID: 414b45
File 176754077351.png - (471.65KB , 1500x1000 , Cribsmash_03_F.png )

Gladii: "It is an Agency requisition form. I have filled it out for you and it is ready to go in the mail. The Agency can tap into the far end of the possibility space. It can drag up things that don't exist, things that no longer exist, things that do not exist yet and even things that will never exist. It can make the abstract physical and the impossible true. I have slept in hotel rooms that shouldn't have fit into the building. I have heard songs that sing the listener. I have seen a fractal horse composed of itself a thousandfold."
Gladii: "For anyone else it would find something normal, something explicable, understandable. But for you? For you it will have to dig deep. I do not know what it will find for you. But I promise that it will be something you've never seen before."
Gladii: "Heus! Ex nihilo omnes fiunt."

Baron 2026/01/06(Tue)16:18 No. 144759 ID: 89ca74
File 176774512427.png - (324.15KB , 1680x1050 , decemberweenGremtide1.png )

BOOOOM!

The explosion is far greater than an IED has any right to have. But-

Gremzhemund: "Ueeeauugh what the shit? Those people said they had no more explosive compound! Who is blowing up stuff?!"

Gremzhemund turns to see the damage and is horrified.

Baron 2026/01/06(Tue)16:19 No. 144760 ID: 89ca74
File 176774515488.png - (117.67KB , 1000x1000 , decemberweenGremtide2.png )

Gremzhemund: "No...No! My creation! The explosion activated them too early! They're awake! Which means....WHICH MEANS-"

(Dan du dan du dan du da-daaan Dan du dan du dan du da-duuun)

Baron 2026/01/06(Tue)16:20 No. 144761 ID: 89ca74
File 176774521002.png - (1.94MB , 2940x1884 , decemberweenGremtide3.png )

Kurampa-Sue: "AAAAH! After Ten Thousand Years I'm Free! It's Time To Conquer Earth!"
(Dadada-dadada-duuum)

Kurampa-Sue: " Gurranchu! Go and Steal Christmas!"
(Dan du dan du dan du da-daaan Dan du dan du dan du da-duuun)

Baron 2026/01/06(Tue)16:21 No. 144762 ID: 89ca74
File 176774526857.png - (338.73KB , 1554x871 , decemberweenGremtide4.png )

Zornog: Samsara! Kurampa-Sue has escaped. Recruit a team of teenagers with attitude!
(Widdly widdly widdly widdly widdly widdly widdly widdly meedly meedly mreeeeeeer!)

Baron 2026/01/06(Tue)16:21 No. 144763 ID: 89ca74
File 176774529186.png - (123.22KB , 833x1044 , decemberweenGremtide5.png )

Yuletide Red: "Not so fast Gurranchu!"

Gremzhemund: "They're here too early..."
(Go go Yuletide rangers!)

maddie 2026/01/06(Tue)18:05 No. 144765 ID: 39a511
File 176775154243.png - (477.38KB , 848x848 , 2.png )

Maya: "what the fuck did you DO?!?? THAT WAS HER PRESENT!!"

maddie 2026/01/06(Tue)18:05 No. 144766 ID: 39a511
File 176775155198.png - (508.06KB , 848x848 , 3.png )

Maya: "and what the fuck did YOU do???!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR CREATION??!"

maddie 2026/01/06(Tue)18:06 No. 144767 ID: 39a511
File 176775158458.png - (611.66KB , 848x848 , 4.png )

Maya: "and whatever YOU mean by 'stealing Christmas', albeit vague, will NYOT be allowed to continue!"
Jaden: "Maya, SHUT UP These are TERRORISTS, we need to LEAVE."

Kakroon 2026/01/07(Wed)12:49 No. 144770 ID: 681cb5
File 176781899316.png - (61.53KB , 800x800 , 18.png )

Never fear, Grem is here! Grem mean Green Ranger is here, not Grem! No one know who Green Ranger is, not even Grem! But Grem think Green Ranger is cool!

Green Ranger fights with moss and isn't afraid of anything! Except Grem. That thing scares Green Ranger.

Nalthar 2026/01/07(Wed)21:07 No. 144772 ID: fd169b
File 176784885723.jpg - (309.87KB , 1000x800 , secret santa 25_15 rainforest cafe.jpg )

Such nice kids. Even if Maya can be a bit hmmmmm. And Jaden... was eating a battery? Where did he get that?

But anyway the Rainforest Cafe! Isn't it great. You can really taste how most of the budget goes to the decor.

"Oh what's this? A festive envelope"

Nalthar 2026/01/07(Wed)21:07 No. 144773 ID: fd169b
File 176784887931.jpg - (91.56KB , 1000x800 , secret santa 25_16 about that surprise.jpg )

Sam sighs and puts the form back in the festive envelope.

"Surprise is... overrated. Do you know how many sunsets I've seen? How many sunsets I've been? Trillions of times on Billions of planets. From every angle, every eye, across both electromagnetic spectra.

Fatalism isn't real. I don't know what the sunset will look like tonight. But I know every way it could look. And that's fine. Because a memory, or imagined future, pales in comparison to the lived experience. The here and now. The sunset tonight will be spectacular, or mundane, or completely hidden behind the clouds, and it will be worth seeing because I will be there to see it. Or something like that."

Nalthar 2026/01/07(Wed)21:08 No. 144774 ID: fd169b
File 176784890519.jpg - (118.06KB , 1000x800 , secret santa 25_17 what better time than here.jpg )

"And right here"

Nalthar 2026/01/07(Wed)21:08 No. 144775 ID: fd169b
File 176784892398.jpg - (117.94KB , 1000x800 , secret santa 25_18 what better place than now.jpg )

"Right now"

Nalthar 2026/01/07(Wed)21:09 No. 144776 ID: fd169b
File 176784897924.jpg - (448.02KB , 1000x800 , secret santa 25_19 the1994 jurassic park arcade ga.jpg )

"You need to help me beat the 1994 Jurassic Park arcade game! It's a lightgun game, and the seat moves around, and you shoot at the T-rex while it chases you, and its wildly unfair and difficult so I need you to spot me some quarters! Also the way things are going we might need to drive it out of here"

Nalthar 2026/01/07(Wed)21:10 No. 144777 ID: fd169b
File 176784902994.jpg - (185.58KB , 1000x800 , secret santa 25_20 watch yourself little man.jpg )

"And as for you. I'm trying to do a rivals to platonic, aromantic, extremely long distance, nonsexual lovers-and-or-friends angle over here. Don't screw this up for me. Use this to summon the teens from Jumpstart 6th Grade: Mission EarthQuest to join your squad or whatever. Merry Christmas"

Absurdity DeVoid 2026/01/08(Thu)02:27 No. 144778 ID: 4619d0
File 176786803423.jpg - (973.99KB , 1994x1946 , Core 562.jpg )

Yuletide Pink: "We will stop you from stealing Christmas!"