Rush him! Be cool.

Take things slow. Neumono are slow to react, but they can shrug off hits and outlast their opponent. And Irib, well, is a slime. Slow and sticky wins the race!

>>962333
Approach him menacingly! Your sword has a hook in it so use it to your advantage to pry his spear away or plain break it!

>>962346
>menacingly
YES. Definitely.

slime him

Approach them menacingly, and with great malice!

Miko 2020/04/18(Sat)17:11 No. 962482 ID: 718d7b
File 158725507786.png - (49.03KB , 1024x1024 , ee-30.png )

>>962111
Glinp told me about the one on the spaceship mission with Irib, and there was that one we saw on Mt. Boom, but I ain't goin' for a jetpack myself. Didn't exactly work out fer those guys!

>approach menacingly
I come at 'im slow and deliberate, with my sword kinda akimbo and my best Rokoa grin. He's got more range, so I hop back when he's close enough to get me. I was hopin' he'd strike, so I could hook his spear, but he didn't.
"Scared? I don't blame you."
"Nah. Just mindful is all." Irib tries to grab his foot, but it turns out this guy can breathe fire too!
>-bwooff-
"Owie~" They retreat. I lunge and slash, he blocks with his spear, perfect!
"Your spear looks pretty big, but I bet I can take it!" I hook it and yank! He doesn't let go, so I end up pullin' him closer to me. "Tch. Strong grip you've got." I swing REAL hard and he arcs into the dirt. Still holdin' on! Irib spooks 'im into lettin' go so he can hop away.
"Two-on-one hardly seems fair, does it?"
"I didn't come to fight fair! HYAAH!"
>-chiffff-
He blocks with his thick-ass forearm. I can see my sword dig into it.
"Hahaha, commendable strength!" We pull apart. "It's rare that someone punctures my scales, much less cuts so deeply. Your sportsmanship, however... tsk tsk tsk..."
"I'm kinda surprised. I thought even half-dragon scales woulda blocked that better."
"Oh, I'm only 1/16 dragon."
"Oh! ...You sure?"
"Yes, I know my lineage. Our dragons were the size of mountains - ah, doesn't matter. Now, I don't suppose I'll be getting my spear back?" Irib's got it now.
"Nope. Y'know, it's gonna be a real shame we have t'kill ya. Ya got a hell of a bod. I know some folks who'da liked to give yer other spear a try, if ya didn't turn out to be some lowlife bandit."
"Hmm, I'd probably do it anyway~" Rong has a hearty laugh.
"Ha, ha, ha! Why don't you and I both find someplace private to work things out before this battle goes any further, hm~? I've got plenty to offer a horny Slime." He bucks his hips.
"Are you serious??"
"I definitely am~"

Hnh. I know Irib's not gonna betray me, and they're not gonna get into any situation that looks too sticky. It could be this guy's last chance to fuck before he dies. Should I give 'em the OK and see what happens, or just cut this guy to pieces here and now?

Let him and Irib have a go!
At best, everyone gets some hot hybrid cock. At worst you can convince Irib to take advantage of their proximity if you dont want to fight fair.

>>962482
He may not have a weapon but he still has fire breath. Might have something else up his sleeve too.
If Irib is gonna fuck him, maybe some bondage is in order.

>>962482
All right. Do it. But you're going to keep him pinned to the wall with the hook on your sword. Just enough space for his neck to fit through.

I say let him choose the manner of his death. Did he choose wisely? Irib probably thinks so. Best double check for possession contingencies, though! Resurrection is probably fair play.

Without a weapon, this guy probably wouldn't be able to harm Irib much anyway. Being only 1/16 dragon means his flames aren't strong either. So I don't see this as any sort of a risk. Worst case is he would try to get away. But then Miko can prepare for that and catch him. And punish him accordingly huehue. So it's fine to let them to do what they want.

You can't just not check what's packed into that prodigious bulge.
Irib could always use their slimy skills to keep a good hold of him without impeding any funtimes.

Miko 2020/04/20(Mon)10:31 No. 962759 ID: 718d7b
File 158740391473.png - (65.35KB , 1024x1024 , ee-31c.png )

"Fine... " He did lower his killing intent a bit. I stand down, but keep my guard up. We reach a point where we're both only feelin' a little murderous. "I ain't gonna cock block my partner here. Or you, I guess."
"The offer's open to you too, you know."
"I got a few more scruples than my friend here. I am curious, though. I'll just watch. Then we come back here and finish our fight. Deal?"
"I don't know... Are you going to leave me with any stamina~?" He points to Irib.
"A little, maybe~"
"Surely a warrior such as yourself desires some challenge... A stamina potion ought-"
"Yeah, fine. We'll top up with our own potions, but I'm not givin' your staff back. You'd just lose it again anyway!"
"Then it shouldn't be any trouble!"
"How aboouut, we give it back if he satisfies me well enough?" I cast Detect Magic on his clothes and spear. Just extra durability on both.
"Oooookay. Jeez. Just don't take too long!" We check out where he wants to go. It's a good neutral spot, so we go there.

Irib and I suppress his warp, just in case he tries to escape that way, and Irib sensually undoes his armour from the inside.
"Hmm~ I can't tell how it compares to the drawing."
"They got the colour and style right. I woulda guessed somethin' more on the dragon side, but if he's only 1/16..."
"Oh, I feel like a piece of meat~"
"Show me how your piece of meat feels, and " I tune 'em out. I don't need ta hear this crap!

Irib puts on a good show. I'm not that into Slimes, but they do both seem to be enjoyin' each other. They're done in about an hour.
"So. We givin' 'im the spear back?"
"Yeah~" I take a stamina potion from Rong's inventory and toss it to him.
"Drink up. Last fuck's over."
"(siiigh)... Alright..."

Take 2 at killin' this guy, and this time I'm gonna finish 'im off fer sure! Do I have any instructions for Irib, like 'hang back until I look like I'm in trouble,' or 'get inside his body and rip 'im apart at the first opportunity' ?

>>962759
Your sword has more mass, keep cleaving him and his spear until you pressure him into stepping into Irib's trap. Which is simply Irib hiding on the floor to dissolve him.

Tell Irib to stand back and simply prevent him from escaping. You're gonna go for a fair and square 1 on 1 this time. So that he'll keep his mouth shut.

Miko 2020/04/21(Tue)14:38 No. 962897 ID: 718d7b
File 158750509944.gif - (91.56KB , 1024x1024 , ee-32.gif )

We introduced ourselves to him in the neutral area, so that's outta the way.
I just won't give Irib any instructions. Back at the scene, Rong all clothed up again, Irib tosses him his spear.
"No hard feelings when we kill you~ It's just business."
"Hah! No hard feelings indeed!" There's that aura again.
>-Clang! Cleeng! Clash!-
>-Swooosh!-
He rushes me down and I have to parry his strikes. I break away and slash out a wave of energy! That he blocks and gets pushed back by. Yep. That'll be the enhanced durability on his spear.
He doesn't leave me time to gather up my energy for a strike that'll cleave 'im in half, but he slips up. I hook the spear and send 'im on an arc again. And another. And another! THEN he lets go and sails off a ways.
"Make sure he doesn't get away." Irib glops over to Rong while I work up my mojo. It doesn't take long. "Curse of Resurrection Delay! RRRAAAAAGH!" My blade glows with fury as I dash for my opponent! He doesn't fully evade my strike.
I cut through his foot. It's a lot thinner than his hand, and my strike now is much stronger than earlier.
"D-dammit...! GaaAAAAH!" There.
"Farewell." I try to cut through his chest, but he blocks with his arms!
"GHUOHK!!" Knocks the wind out of 'im and the blade reaches the bone.
"You still cling to life? Hmh. Can't blame ya. Irib, come finish this." I step on his chest and wiggle my stuck blade out. I see him trying to spark up a flame in his mouth, but he can draw no breath. Irib fills his mouth and dissolves his guts. I can feel him fading, until the light is gone from his eyes. Happens some time before Irib's pokin' their own toes out of his foot stump. "Yeesh..." The corpse sits up.
"I had an idea. Can we use these remains to, maybe, sneak up on the others somehow?"

Hahah! That's pretty macabre! Is there somethin' we should try with that?
And who's goin' down next? Half-Cutebold or Half-Sergal?

>>962897
I mean, sure if only to act as a Trojan horse for an opening attack. The sergal is next.

I was secretly hoping that Rong would win and show Miko some good time as well. Oh well.

Sergal time. I'm neutral on using the remains.

Perhaps, but after you dissolved his soft bodies you'll need to cover those up. Can Irib turn opaque and form a full-body covering? Getting stuck in a gimp suit seems like something this guy would do.
Slay the half-sergal next.

Miko 2020/04/23(Thu)17:19 No. 963312 ID: 718d7b
File 158768759348.png - (64.60KB , 1024x1024 , ee-33.png )

>>962965
Nope, Irib can't change transparency.

>Sergon
"Yeah, you thinkin' you pretend to be him and then WHAM! We uh... do somethin'?"
"That's about as far as I got~" They grab the severed part of the foot with their own toes and splort it back in place.
"Can you imitate his voice?"
"Sort of... I think they'd catch on quickly!"
"That sounded close. Let's see if it works on that Sergon!"

The Sergon's name is Sonny, and he's been spotted out in a forest a ways from here. I get Irib to put me in some fake chains and we warp somewhere that's had activity from their little gang.
"Rong! Uhh sir! Whhhat's up?" There's a little Miklik with a military-lookin' helmet here. There's also some little rods with orange-colored tops that seem to be dividin' off this part of the forest from another one, but it doesn't look any different over there.
"I've got a prisoner. Where's Sonny?"
"He's over at the base, sir!"
"Great, can you point me in the right direction? I'm a bit disoriented after my battle with this feisty scamp." Heh, good cover story for why he looks and sounds off.
"It's over that way, sir!" They point along a trail.
"Keep up the good work, soldier~"
"Th-thanky you! Sir!"

"Nice ad-libbin' back there! Ya get some insight from eatin' his brains or somethin'?"
"Nope~ Just lucky, I guess~"
We go down the trail a ways, but there's no sign of any base!
"Shit, where the hell is it?? Lemme scope out that inventory again, see if there's anything useful."

There's one remote control, uh, thing with a dial and a button, couple stamina potions, a phone (password-protected, a'course), a spiked cock collar (HAH! I could wear this thing on my pinky), a big flask of somethin', and 238 krels.

Shit, someone's comin'! What's our plan?

Push the button! If you're out of your bonds, I'd get the jump on whoever's coming while Irib distracts them.

>>963312
Mash some buttons! Claim the remote is busted, maybe they'll open it for you.

Press EVERYTHING

>>963317
yes

Miko 2020/04/24(Fri)17:37 No. 963462 ID: 718d7b
File 158777507644.png - (49.10KB , 1024x1024 , ee-34.png )

I tell Irib to try the remote and claim it's busted if we don't see any results. I get re-tied fast.
The mook turns out to be a lanky... What the heck are they? Canine folk maybe. Nah, that's like a lizard tail almost. Oh, obviously! Another hybrid.
>-click click click-
"Oh good, you're here. You know, I just can't seem to get into the base."
"Hehe, it's not over here! That's why!"
"Why don't you lead us there~"
"Yeahyeah, sure! Follow MEEEEeeeee" They grab Irib by Rong's arm and pull us both at crazy speed behind 'em, so fast we're both wavin' in the air! "Hoohoohoohoo! Gee y'know, you're looking more Rong than ever!" This freak must be the muscle of Sonny's gang!
>-slam!-
I don't even see what the place looks like on the outside before the mutant weirdo opens the door and yanks us inside! It looks like a cozy cabin.
"Heyyyy SONNY! Rong's here! Heeheehee!" They flop us both onto a sofa and give us a thumbs-up.
"So that was you pressing the button." Sonny comes out and pulls a seductive pose against the doorframe. Tch. "What are you doing here so early? Oh! You brought me a gift?"

My bindings're loose. I can bust out any time and pull out my sword, but that cartoon-ass character is still here, and I bet they're gonna be a real pain in the ass if we don't deal with 'em! What should we do... Is there some way we can get 'em outta the picture? Or some other tactic, maybe...

>>963462
Irib: Suggest you and Sonny go have some fun with the prisoner in private. Then you can ambush him!

>>963462
Yeah, You got to separate them with honeypot tactics. Got them in close and then strangle them with your bindings

I agree, were going to have to separate them. A strong cartoon character like that makes a hell of a support fighter.

Too bad we dont know any of the personal connections they had to our flesh trojan, and asking random questions might raise suspicion.

Ask/seduce them to accompany you to wherever prisoners are normally kept, unless for some asinine reason the couch is were they're kept.

At some point someone get a whiff of whats in that flask, it might just be plain old booze. Hopefully top shelf if it is, although i suspect its just Bandit Swill.

Miko should start insulting them by calling them pussies with small dicks, etc. Half-dragon? More like half-brained half-male. Bet they never touched a girl in their life, what a virgin. Might make them decide to turn their back to Irib who'd then be able to make short work of them. Or at least split up, where Miko, if she's alone with someone, could use the opportunity to break free at the right moment.

Miko 2020/04/26(Sun)11:12 No. 963840 ID: 718d7b
File 158792474405.png - (59.26KB , 1024x1024 , ee-35.png )

"That's right~ How about you and I have some fun with our new prisoner, in private~?"
"Hmph."
"I suppose we couuuld. Why don't you come on back?" He waves us back toward where he came from. "Stay, Cherry."
"Awwwww OK."
"Come along, prisoner~" We head down into a dingy dungeon. They got a few prisoners here. I see a little Bearfolk or something, and two blue ant Bugfolk, all in their own cells. I sniff the flask contents on the way, and I'm pretty sure it's fruit juice.

"So what's your name, little missus?" He gets in close. That's my cue to take my bindings 'n choke this bitch!
"Miko Rozu Deepdive!"
>-shing!-
He cuts away the ropes with his sword and slides away from me! I pull out mine.
"Aaaaagh!"
>-BWOOMF-SSH! plop-
Irib tries to bite his head off, and he inflates Irib/Rong's head with fire breath until it explodes! Irib hits the ground.
"'Sblood, nani the fuck!?" He coughs.


Irib's tougher to kill than that, but it looks like they ain't gettin' up at the moment so I can't lean on 'em like last time. Not a tonna room to maneuver here either. The prisoners're sure riled up!
>-Clang cloing clash!-
Our swords meet.
"That's one wicked trap! I've got to hand it to you, missus!"
"Thanks, pal! You got a nice setup goin' here, I didn't know bandito was such a lucrative job!"
>-ksshhhhanggg-
"We do more than that, Miss Miko! Why, if you're intrested, I think we could use someone like you and your friend here..."

I'm not intrested, but he doesn't have to know that. How'm I gonna take this guy down?

You'll want his business end pointed away from you for this one. Throw him headfirst into the bars of the prison cells and make a makeshift guillotine.

>>963840
All right, let's see if we can get some even ground again. Make the deal that if he can beat you, you'll join up with them. If you beat him, you'll take him in to collect the bounty. That puts things slightly in your favor as you don't need him alive but he doesn't know that.

Be sure to use the environment to your advantage. If those prisoners are free roaming in their cells, they're going to want to grab him.

>>963840
Maybe the prisoners can help. Lure him over to the bars and they'll grab him.

Wait, he has fire breath, yeah? Splash attack his ass with the flask! Idk if hes fireproof, or what proof the flask contains, but going up in a fireball might make him think twice about sparking up! Then its all fisticuffs!

Id say splash him with the wierd potions too, but i wouldn't want to +1 anything he could use against you.

I doubt agreeing to join his cause would give him pause, but if it works, then play dirty and donkey punch his ass when he thinks your in an alliance. Or sword.

Oops, guess the tables have turned. But still. Tell him that unless this thing that he does involves saving the world, and he pays better than this quest to kill him, that you're not interested.

Miko 2020/04/27(Mon)19:03 No. 964017 ID: 718d7b
File 158803943729.gif - (135.04KB , 1024x1024 , ee-36b.gif )

>>963843
>>963847
"Oh yeah? Well I'm a gamblin' type of gal. If I win, I'm takin' you in for the bounty, but if you win, I'll join up."
"And the Slime?"
"They'll leave you alone."
"Then you won't mind if I call in for some insurance!"
>-clang!-
"Ouhh! Hahah! Nice try."
>-kssh krsj glong!-
With my overpowering swings, I get him against the bars of one of the Bugfolk cells. They grab him so he can't use his sword, for just long enough.
>-FWOOSH!-
"CHERRY! GLHHHH" A slash through the chest, a moment too late. His yell is paired with a fire breath that scorches my upper body.
>-sprot, sklk-
"Ch...erry..." He slumps to the ground. The Bugfolk makes a squeal that sounds like it came from a hog.
"(cough, kaff)." It's a win, and a fast one too, but now I'm in a sticky spot.
>-bwazoom!-
"Hey Sonny wow is he dead what happened to your FFFFFFACES!"

Cherry's vibrating hard, and looks concerned. And... concerning. What do I say to get outta this?

>>964017
Say that you made a bet. He lost.

>>964017
Tell Cherry that he was into that freaky shit. Does Cherry want in?

Just be honest. They bet that if they could beat you in a fight you would join them and if you won you could get the bounty, then they lost.

Tell him that Sonny attacked you and you had to kill him. It was self-defense, so it's ok, right? Ask Cherry if they want some ice cream to celebrate this.

Tell him about the bet. You won pretty fairly.

Failing that, maybe disarm yourself to see if that will reset his Aggro. Seems a bit spotty with the cognitive skills that one.

Miko 2020/04/29(Wed)10:53 No. 964301 ID: 718d7b
File 158818278511.png - (19.46KB , 1024x1024 , ee-37b.png )

>>964018
>>964020
>>964122
"Nothing to worry about, my fair, um... individual-"
"I'ma girl!"
"My fair lassie. Sonny and I made a bet about which one of us would win in a fight. I won." She stops vibrating slowly.
"Oh... OK Ok. He fire breath'd you good, huhuhuh~?"
"Yep. Got my buddy here, too." Irib sits up. "It was a slime wearing Rong's skin!"
"He sure did~ (siiiigh) I was going to ask him to fuck, too..."
"Oh yeah he was pretty good in the ol' sack!"
"Seriously?" I ask Irib.
"I wanted to collect the whole set~" They tilt their head and make a big pouty eye face.
"Fer cryin' out loud..."
"I'll have to look for him if he gets resurrected~"
"Irib."
"Yes~?" They're already eating him. Cherry joined in and Irib doesn't seem to mind.
>>964058
"Nevermind. Just save some for the bounty." I work up another curse. "Curse of resurrection delay," I mutter, and scratch Sonny's body with my blade. "So Cherry, I guess you'll have to find work somewhere else. Want us to getcha some ice cream before we move on?"
"Dessert! Mmmmost indubitably!"
"Oh, that sounds lovely~ By the way, I found this." They pull out a vibrating cockring from Sonny's pants. It looks like it goes with the remote I pressed earlier.
"Teeheeheehee..."
"Oh. Pfffft! Good find." He's also got a remote in HIS inventory, plus a flask of whiskey, some cooked chicken legs, a keychain with some keys, and 121 krels.

So we get some ice cream at Freezia, the ice-goblin-goddess-themed parlor. I go with Glittering Rondo, Irib gets a Caustic Chill, and Cherry gets a Poppin' Cherry cone. Guess she's what you call a "Crux," which IS some kind of hybrid species, but she doesn't know too much about it. She had Crux parents, but both of them used to be somethin' else? Weird.
Irib ate the rest of Rong before we came, aside from a piece so we can get the bounty. It'd look too weird if they came into town lookin' like... that.

Only one left before we can collect is Hrny, the half-Cutebold. He's supposed to have a hoard of treasure in a cave somewhere. There's an idea where it should be, so we'll head there and do some rock climbing. A hand-to-hand magic user... And he's probably got fire breath like the other two. What should we do? See if we can sneak in while he's out and hide in the hoard t' ambush him? Set traps? Kobolds tend to have trap immunity, but I don't think a half-kobold would. Still, we can't mess up so close to victory!

Pose as the IRS and bust down his front door.

>>964301
He might not have trap immunity, but he probably has trap resistance. If you can somehow get past his own traps, seems like a good idea to hide in his horde. Have Irib on the ceiling to drop down on them while you come up from below. A splitroast, if you will.

Are there any traps you can set inside your junk?

If so, all you'd have to do is spread your legs and let him come at you. And then sandwich him.

1/2 Miko 2020/05/01(Fri)19:17 No. 964591 ID: 718d7b
File 158838586429.png - (53.50KB , 1024x1024 , ee-38.png )

We freed the prisoners, by the way. Couldn't understand a damn thing they said, but they seemed happy t' escape.

>>964302
Haha... posing as a tax collector would be funny, but no.

>>964317
Hmm... I don't hate the idea. Not sure I could put on a seductive act long enough to make it work, is the thing.

>>964303
Irib follows my moves, and we sneak around, being careful not to make a sound.
"Shh."
>-crunch-
Irib steps on some old bone or something.
"No, don't touch that!" Luckily, it doesn't set off any traps or anything. We do notice a few, and Irib splits off a little piece that goes ahead of us so they can deal with the ones we don't find.

The hoard turns out to be martial arts media and paraphernalia from across many worlds, maybe even multiple realities. I get Irib to hide on the ceiling, while I hide behind a big sculpture of a noodle dragon.
Hrny comes in after a while, and that's my cue to pop out and slice for his neck!
"Whoa whoa, hey!" He's already turned around when I see him! He stops the blade by pinning it between his hands. "Geez!" Irib lands on him, but he does this intense whirlwind spin move that flings the goop right off!
>-splt sppklp-
"Gack pleh!"
"Sorry~" Hrny stops spinning and steadies himself.
"What's this all about?"
"Killed yer dragonblooded pals for a bounty. You're next."
"Oh! Well if they're dead, you can just take me in alive! Right? ...but I need proof that they're dead."
"Show him." Irib presents a bone fragment from each.
"Hmmmmmm..." He does some wavy hand stuff and gets a glowy aura. "Yep. (sigh) These are their bones. You guys must be pretty tough!"
"Got that right."
"I'm very soft, actually~"
"Hahah, you look it. Honestly, the whole operation was their idea. I went along, sure, but it didn't grow my hoard much."
"That's your thing, huh."
"Yeah, I just can't get enough! Bruce Flea, Jean-claude van Damtsvane, it's all a lot of fun!"
"You like vigorous physical activity~"
"You got it~" He winks and grins and points at Irib. "And the whole discipline angle! Let me tell you, with my genes, self-restraint does not come easy."
"If you let go of some of that restraint, I'll show you how easy it is to come~"
"Gods."
"Wow...~ Both of you, or just you?"

Fuck it! Y’know what? Why not! Let's show this Hrny hybrid a thing or two!

After that, we turn him in and collect some cash. Not a bad day. I wonder what Glinp’s been up to...

2/2 End Glinp 2020/05/01(Fri)19:18 No. 964592 ID: 718d7b
File 158838591076.png - (74.59KB , 1024x1024 , ee-end.png )

"...And that's how we knew we had slain the last of them, and it was finally safe to visit you!"

Woooow, I'm so glad this whole thing was canon and not just parts of it here and there!
April fools!

What a fun adventure it's been~

15 characters lewded in 38 updates. This must be some sort of a record.

Well done.