Muschio 2009/12/07(Mon)12:37 No. 87566 ID: 18b9f0
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Things seem so somber now in comparison. The hall is so empty.

It's just us men for now.

Where'd the three women go?

>>87566
Why, did the ladies leave for some reason?

Muschio 2009/12/07(Mon)12:46 No. 87574 ID: 18b9f0
File 126021880020.gif - (13.51KB , 800x600 , 736.gif )

Ashedel has once again left on assignment, looking for more recruits.

Finesse is staying in bed, due to her lingering illness.

Tislomer has set out on a trip to find some rare herbs from the surrounding forests, that may prove potent enough to handle my Tinker's ailment. Don't question my motives on this one -- Finesse herself requested it. I'm sure she knows what's good for her, she seems very learned in the subject.

>>87566
We should get more guys. Or more girls.
... we need more minions, boss. It's lonely.
By the way, did those dolls turn out to be Mannikins?

>>87576
Yes yes, were they mannikins? And if so, you should help Finesse out of bed to see you use them. It would make her happy.

>>87574
Has Finesse confirmed what the disease is, then?

Muschio 2009/12/07(Mon)13:01 No. 87587 ID: 18b9f0
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>>87582
No, she hasn't told me. Though I imagine this means it isn't the Jinx after all. Otherwise she would have said something.

>>87576
>By the way, did those dolls turn out to be Mannikins?
Ah yes. Let me introduce you to our latest members, the three denlings. As they came through the Monster Portal they're bound to me in terms of loyalty. They certainly seem quite determined.
And I ah, haven't gotten around to naming them yet.

Well, what do they do?

And you forgot to grab the ogre figure!

Do they have any sort of powers?

Larry, Curley, and Moe or Athos, Porthos, and Aramis

You know Boss, I bet Finesse would be too embarrassed to tell you if she did have the Jinx. She saw what you went through with Arabella and she's probably afraid that you wouldn't want to cure her.

>>87594
How in the hell can you read my mind? That's just what I was thinking, the first three names that is.

>>87587
>And I ah, haven't gotten around to naming them yet.
Wèi, Shǔ, and Wú.

What exactly can they do? Or have been doing since you made them?

DenMark, DenTed, and DenNed

Suggestion 2009/12/07(Mon)13:09 No. 87604 ID: bebdd2
File 126022015198.gif - (18.67KB , 297x230 , HueyDeweyLouie.gif )

>>87587
Huey, Dewey, and Louie.

Muschio 2009/12/07(Mon)13:10 No. 87605 ID: 18b9f0
File 126022022997.gif - (9.93KB , 800x600 , 738.gif )

Denlings are small magical creatures, like Imps. They lack the magical knacks of their cousins, but they make up for it with speed, stealth, and a far less flighty nature.
As you can see they're of a far more focused demeanor than you would expect an Imp to be. I can't say yet as to whether they are competent about their work, as I've yet to put them to any, but they're certainly serious about it.

I don't know exactly what to task them with.

>>87605
I don't know, maybe have them go out and steal shit.

They could be well suited as spies or scouts for the area.

Perhaps they could directly steal valuables and magical items for you.

>>87605
turn them into ninja assassins

>>87601
Ned, Ted, Zed

>>87605
Their dark bodies look ideal for night-time activity. Like espionage or thievery.

>>87605
Have them watch the front gate. Arm them with spears. Dompag is too restless to stay in one spot all day, even though he'd be the best guard. So, if the Denlings spot trouble, two of them can hold off the trouble, and the third can go get Dompag.

>>87606
Or spies. Perhaps have them head out to the remaining towns and spy? Have the third as a runner of information. (If i remember the map correctly)

Logos, Pathos, and Ethos.

Let's have them lie in wait by a nearby road and steal from under the noses of unsuspecting travelers. Who knows what sort of valuables we could come across like this?

Maybe they'd make decent assassins if armed with arm crossbows and daggers.

Ed, Edd, and Eddy

I'm going to go with something else as for names: Jack, Spades, and Clubs. And perhaps assign them to separate tasks to gauge their efficiency at them. Set one to some menial labor, set one to scouting, and set the third to some petty theft.

>>87605
Skuld, Urd, Verdandi?
Decima, Morta, Nona?
Atropos, Clotho, Lachesis?

>>87613
Better idea: Logos, Pathos, and Huevos.

Muschio 2009/12/07(Mon)13:27 No. 87636 ID: 18b9f0
File 12602212382.gif - (7.50KB , 800x600 , 739.gif )

"How adept are you at stealing and spying?"
>"SIR! Our natural cunning and our diminutive size make us excellent thieves! Our knack for stealth and our keen eyes make us excellent scouts!"
"What about assassinations and guard duty?"
>"BOSS! Our nature forbids us from drawing blood directly. I regret that it's not feasible! We mean no disrespect!"
"I see. And what about manual labor?"
>"CHIEF! Our size and strength make us less apt for physical labor than most! But we will gladly carry out any tasks you require!"

>>87636
I like these guys.

>>87636
Set two of them to thieving/raiding duties. Keep one in the Vault as a messenger/watchmen. He can run menial tasks when needed, but otherwise watch the front gate and get Dompag if he sees anyone.

I like these guys, too

>>87636
>>"BOSS! Our nature forbids us from drawing blood directly. I regret that it's not feasible! We mean no disrespect!"

Gonna need more information. Blunt weapons, poison, activating mechanisms, tripping people into deadly falls...

>>87636
Y'know, they sound like they could go to... whatever town in whereversville, and steal and spy. Y'know, bring back trinkets, keep an eye on things. It would bring back a small but appreciated supply of funds week to week, and keep us up to date on the goings on around town.
... I'm voting we send them to Sepia.
Unless you have a more appropriate location, Boss?

>>87645
Let's not get all munchkin on these guys. They can't be implicated into murder. End of discussion. Who cares anyway? Everybody else here is capable of murder. I think ill stick with my original suggestion of delegating them to spying on Sepia town and the capital.

(smiling) Jim, (grumpy) Gus, and (curious) George.

>>87636
We can send 1 to the goblin village, 1 to the kobold village, and 1 to the elven woods to spy/scout the area secretly.

>>87649
Look, i just want to know what they can actually do. They can't? Fine. We should know it anyway.

What about delivering poison? That's not drawing blood directly.

>>87636
scouts, if anything/one approaches we will know

Kip, Zap, & Felix
At least one of the denlings should be kept to scout outside to watch for any incoming trouble so he can run back real quick, give the news, and make time for everyone to prepare for any invasions or adventurers the guy may see coming.

>>87636
Have one be a scour for the area outside your den. A forward warning. Another should be a theif for your profit and weakening any foes the first sees, by stealing equipment. The last should be our trapman, lever puller, and 'sneaky bastard' in the base, doing everything it can to hold back the foe.

Send them to spy on North Piacevole. I want to know what the situation there is.

Oh, of COURSE. Call them Zoq, Fot, and Pik. Then forget which one's which.

Name them either Who, What, and I Don't Know, or This, That, and The Other One.

>>87711
This.

Or name them after cards, like certain other serious-business folks of certain coloration in a certain other interactive Paint game.

Muschio 2009/12/07(Mon)14:39 No. 87716 ID: 18b9f0
File 126022556561.gif - (13.38KB , 800x600 , 740.gif )

"What about poisonings?"
>"Narrow line, chief! We could feasibly deliver something that was poisonous, but we couldn't perform a poisoning ourselves!"
"Very well. Your names are henceforth Logos, Pathos, and Ethos."
>"Understood, sir! Thank you for the nomenclature! We will wear it proudly!"
"For the time being I'd like you to scout the surrounding areas, including the Goblin and Kobold villages, the nearby forests, the hills and fields, and as far as Sepia Town to the North. I advise you split up to cover more ground."
>"SIR! YES SIR!"
"Dismissed."
>"TROOP! MOVE OUT!"

>>87716
DENLINGS ARE CREDIT TO TEAM!

>>87716
Right. What are the plans for the rest of the day? Rest and relaxation?

>>87717
We need to get more of these guys.

Who was buying these guys?

>>87719

The devil never takes a day off.

>>87716
Hey.

Where'd Dompag and Babrakus go?

Muschio 2009/12/07(Mon)14:56 No. 87731 ID: 18b9f0
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>>87726
I'm sure they've returned to their duties. Dompag is back at the door, and Babrakus is undoubtedly busy at his workshop. He refuses to even take a day off. He has some work ethic.

As for me... I'm not sure quite what to do next. I feel I've earned a sort of break, but really, I shouldn't relax too much. I just don't know what my next move is going to be. Perhaps I should establish some sort of project for the day.

>>87731
I've got a project for ya.

Bone Finnie.

Got any skills you haven't yet had the chance to demonstrate?

Maybe you could head to the smoldering ruins and loot. Melted gold is still gold.

Picking out some paint for the foyer would be FABULOOOOUS!

>>87731

Have sex with Finesse so she can finally start doing work and not being a lazy layabout.

>>87735
this

>>87731
No idea. Probably something that does not involve sex with your underlings.

Muschio 2009/12/07(Mon)15:05 No. 87740 ID: 18b9f0
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Such vulgar thoughts. Well, I suppose that's what happens when one's mind is left to wander idly. I really should come up with a plan.
Looting the remains of Iniziare Citta seems like a bad idea. I've heard there are survivor camps there. Rumors have even reached my ears of a few do-gooders trying to organize what's left. It's a waste of time, of course. The city will take years to build back up to anything.

Hrm. I hope Tislomer returns with the herbs for Finesse's ailment. I wonder how she's doing.

>>87740
fine dont have sex with her, just go check up on her and make sure she knows to let you know if you can do anything to help

>>87740
Perhaps you should check up on Finesse while we ponder our next move.

Have Babrakus create more beds and the such for our new minions, and perhaps have him and Tislomer work together when she gets back to devise new wood-based traps. (Pits with spikes, swinging logs, etc.)

If you need something to do, why not take up an instrument? You would look incredibly stylish with a violin.

>>87731
Man, 'Brakus really needs to get a woman in his life. Hasn't he heard the old addage? "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy?"

Really man. Get him some poon.

We don't *need* Babrakus to be happy, we just need him to be loyal.

Check up on Finesse and Babrakus, see how the one is doing with her illness and the other with his nonstop working.

>>87750
A HAPPY UNDERLING IS A LOYAL UNDERLING.

At any rate, I'm convinced it's the Jinx. She's showing all the signs. Regardless of how in-denial she may be, you, as a leader, must realize the virtue in saving the life of not only your most loyal subject, but your most valuable one. Having her indisposed like this kills the work output, and slows down the whole operation. Be a man, and fix it already.

Finesse 2009/12/07(Mon)15:20 No. 87763 ID: 18b9f0
File 126022804141.gif - (8.78KB , 800x600 , 743.gif )

...Hello.

>>87763
Hi there. What's up?

>>87763
How's it going?

>>87763
What's up, ya faker?

Kidding, kidding. Kind of a close call there with Dompag, eh?

>>87763
Oh hey. How's the plan working out?

Hello again. We're so very worried about you. We're seeing more and more the undeniable fact that you're afflicted with...you'll pardon my forwardness, The Jinx.

>>87763
Sup.
Boss is being lazy. What're you up to today?

I'd like to let you know that some of us headvoices tried to discourage Dompag and his advances.

Like a rhino through a mousehole..

Finesse 2009/12/07(Mon)15:38 No. 87781 ID: 18b9f0
File 126022911193.gif - (6.73KB , 800x600 , 744.gif )

Oh, don't remind me of that embarrassing encounter. I'm sure that encounter could have gone worse, but I put myself in a very awkward position.
Thankfully Dompag had the sense to keep to himself.

I feel that my illness is... fading. But before it can fully be forgotten, Tislomer will have to return with those special herbs I asked for.

Why haven't you had sex with Muschio yet

>>87781
Read book
Hug Tellwiz

Also - what are you REALLY sick with?

>>87784
>>87782
these
also what are the herbs for?

>>87781
Are the herbs memory-wiping herbs or something?

>>87781
So is this just a clever ploy as I assume or did you actually come down with something?

Are the "special herbs" aphrodisiacs?
You can tell us, we shan't tell.

>>87781

You making an aphrodesiac?

Finesse 2009/12/07(Mon)15:49 No. 87791 ID: 18b9f0
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>>87787
>So is this just a clever ploy as I assume or did you actually come down with something?
Uh... well, I think I'm going to be fine. Let's just leave it at that.

As long as Tislomer gets back soon with the herbs I told her to pick up. Master Muschio let her go because I told him it was vital to my well-being.

>>87786
>Are the herbs memory-wiping herbs or something?
What would I need to wipe anyone's memory for?

>>87791
You said you need the herbs to forget what happened.

>>87791
a love potion maybe?

>>87791
Oh come on! You're a damned goblin! There's no way in hell your species' blood has been diluted that much!

Just admit it already, you want to get boned by the big guy. That's not shameful to desire. He's got power, he's got charisma, he's got chutzpah, and he's handsome to boot. He's everything a girl (or guy) could want.

Just say it already. You're attracted to Muschio in more than a "just friends" way.

>>87793
Maybe it's just a narcotic that lets her space out and ignore life for a while.

Finesse 2009/12/07(Mon)16:02 No. 87804 ID: 18b9f0
File 126023054724.gif - (9.10KB , 800x600 , 746.gif )

>>87789
>Are the "special herbs" aphrodisiacs?
I-it's none of your business what they are. They're... not anything. At least not until properly distilled. I'll still need Tislomer for that.

>>87796
...y-yes, Master Muschio is quite an impressive individual.
I... I'll admit that maybe I haven't been entirely truthful to him about my employment here. I've been working to get noticed by him for a while, since before he came to my village. Ever since Baron Malto saved my father as a child I've sort of... watched the Malto family for their dignified manner... er...

...M-Master Muschio certainly seems like the perfect specimen of his line. He's iconic of his lineage. He represents what makes the Malto family noticeable. And he's very... um. Well anyway I think he's pretty competent and respectable.

Um.

So I'm sure you understand.

A-anyway it's just... these are just spices. For Master Muschio's dinner. Please don't tell him.

>>87791
So, who'd you do the horizontal tango with?

>>87805
Horizontal mombo sounds better.

>>87807
im partial to the horizontal waltz myself

>>87804
Parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme?

>>87804
You know what will get Muschio to notice you...power.

So what makes the Maltos noticeable?

you're switching your terms. They were just herbs for your cure earlier in the conversation. Not spices for Muschio. Are you gonna drug rape the man?

We're here to help, so at least try to be honest or we'll end up piecing it through hard work.

>>87804
We'll try not to. No promises.

>>87804
>distilled
>spices
>putting it in dinner
Are we whipping up something a bit scandalous? Maybe something to make him more susceptible to suggestion, hmm? Space him right out so he does whatever you want him to?

>>87804
guuurl we are on your side here, if we didnt want him to have sex with you, you wouldnt have any chance.
as is hes very... stubborn... lets see what these spices can do >:)

>>87804
Well, we won't tell so long as you don't think you'll get in trouble for it. I mean, you'd think he would notice if they were powerful enough to make him do something he didn't want to do already.

Sweet lil' Finnie, let Mojo help you become Muschio's dark queen. He needs a woman like you.

wut

>>87826
Huh?

>>87826
A most excellent visual pun. Well-played.

>>87826
wtf

>>87830
i dont get it >.>

Suggestion 2009/12/07(Mon)16:25 No. 87834 ID: f44349
File 126023195079.gif - (602.08KB , 240x180 , 1216509240195.gif )

>>87826

(he just clicked 747.jpg instead of 747.gif, guys)

Finesse 2009/12/07(Mon)16:26 No. 87837 ID: 18b9f0
File 126023199056.gif - (6.86KB , 800x600 , 748.gif )

You know I would never have the Master pass out for my own amusement. No, this is... ah, well let's just say it's more to set the tone of our... future encounters.
Just a little something to go with his salad. It's nothing I haven't been waiting for for a long time, let's just leave it at that.

>>87833
>Boeing 747
>File 126023169786.jpg - (80.50KB, 500x322, 747.jpg)
>Boeing 747
>747.jpg

And now?

>>87837
I like you.

Player_1!Rz/Y0CctII 2009/12/07(Mon)16:30 No. 87847 ID: c259ba
File 126023220670.jpg - (37.90KB , 562x437 , HA_HA_HA_OH_WOW.jpg )

>>87837
so what should we do while we wait

>>87837
Oh wow. You should show Muschio that face sometime.

You're sure he won't get angry, though? This seems a little dangerous. He is evil.

>>87837
Very well then. Carry on, Finesse.
Oh, and Muschio might be by to check on you. He seemed to have some free time, so we suggested he pay you a visit. Be prepared to, er, show him you're still sick - just in case.

>>87837
How devious~
I can't speak for everyone, but I know I won't tell him...

>>87804
Mind showing us some pages from that book?

>>87837
Just plan for a worse case scenario. Are you willing to accept that risk?

>>87837
Sounds good, I'm on your side.

Muschio: Go down to Georgia looking for a soul to steal.

>>87837
Deer and Sweetest Finnie... We are your Mojo, and Mojo knows what Finnie want's Finnie wants to be a great Queen.

We want to help you, but we also want to warn you, Muschio needs some... well he needs some work. His past has so driven him that some of us fear he has little knowledge of the truer things of love.

He needs some molding, we try but he can be so... so willful at times... especially as of late. He is more prone to resist our suggestions. Every tool mush be molded for its true purpose, it must be pounded, hammered and shaped in the fires of passion. His flame is dim and smolders cold, but he has potential, he needs someone to stoke that fire.

However, I do not think that aphrodisiacs will do more that create a short lived, false flame. You want something longer and hotter than that do you not?

Finesse 2009/12/07(Mon)17:17 No. 87932 ID: 18b9f0
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>"Finesse, it's me. Are you all right? Do you mind if I come in for a moment?"

Okay calm down

>"I just wanted to see how you were doing."

You might wanna hide the book cover...

>>87932
Aww he cares about you

Oh, yeah! Forgot to mention, we kind of nudged him to "Check up on you" if you know what I mean.

>>87932
Tell him you expect to be feeling very well quite shortly...

Also, ask him for a favor, it could be anything, but he should become more attached to what he has to work harder for... I am sure you already know this yourself.

>>87932
Blush furiously at him while hiding the book in a very obvious and hurried manner.

Finesse 2009/12/07(Mon)17:33 No. 87960 ID: 18b9f0
File 126023600222.gif - (9.89KB , 800x600 , 750.gif )

>"What are you reading?"
OH
THE BOOK
"Ha, uh, oh, this is nothing. It's just an old um, a workbook. Lots of mechanical diagrams. Boring stuff."
>"Oh, I see. Well, how are you feeling? Any better today?"
"Ah, y-yeah, a little bit actually. I think I'll be fine when Tislomer gets back with my medicine."
>"Well I hope your recovery is quick, then."

...
"Um, so, Master Muschio? Can I... ask you a favor?"
>"Of course. Anything I can do to help."
"Will you... have dinner with me tonight?"
>"Anything you need. It's good to see you have your appetite back."

>>87960
Step one successful.

>>87960
Go "Then it's a date!"

>>87960
I see you are good enough at killing two birds with one stone.

But I would remind you of how hard 'you' have worked just to get here.

We think very highly of you, and I think it is only fair that he have to work some to please you as well (before he gets some of what you've got to offer, not during.)

>>87960
>"Will you... have dinner with me tonight?"
>"Anything you need. It's good to see you have your appetite back."
Haha Bingo~
All according to plan.

Make sure he realizes it's a date and not a minion and master friends having dinner thing

>>87994

I'm sure he'll realize that once the spices kick in.

Finesse 2009/12/07(Mon)20:39 No. 88081 ID: 18b9f0
File 126024717424.gif - (10.06KB , 800x600 , 751.gif )

>"Oh, Tislomer. Excellent timing."
>"Hi boss. Hi Finnie! I got those herbs you wanted for t--"
"OH OKAY YES THANKS ha ha ha ha okay well Master you must have plenty of things to deal with right now thanks for coming to check in on me!"

>>88081
You suck balls at playing it cool.

>>88081
If he asks what the herbs are for tell him you found a great remedy for getting over a sickness quickly.

You don't deserve him if you have to get him to like you this way. Unless, you're trying to impress him with culinary goodness and not poisoning him. I DON'T APPROVE. But if you are just trying to be nice and earn a great catch like him then good luck.

>>88093
I myself think it that while she deserves him (and quite a bit more, if anything.) He is not to prone to be loyal if his feeling for her rely on some mere herb, weren't we just glad about him needing help to 'deal with' Arabella?

We should not consider ourselves in the same boat. We want something longer lasting and truer than a pharmaceutical solution.

Well, it is shameful, but it remains to be seen if anything special will be required for future activities. I think this is mainly being done to break Muschio in, so to speak.

Well, maybe if we knew what the herbs did exactly.....If they were just for tasting good then sure....But so far the "Nymph's Jinx" and now suspicious herbs....it all seems decietful and just not worthy of the big boss.

>>88081
Hi Charmedfrightened. Meet anyone new?

>>88101
Well... he is evil. And deceitful. But still, I am disappoint.

Who are we talking to right now? They are both in the same room.

Or rather who can hear us?

>>88118
Right now we're inside Finnie's estrogen flooded noggin.

Take a look at the green name. We're still talking to Finesse.

Wait, how high up is that kobold? It looks Taller than Finesse from there, possibly even Muschio, is she standing on something? Did the climb the doorframe before poking her head in? This makes no sense!

>>88177
Weaverbolds are quite a bit larger than normal cutebolds.

Suggestion 2009/12/08(Tue)09:33 No. 88193 ID: 4553b2
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>>88177
Pis related.

>>88081
To avoid this being a useless post: Finnie, calm down a bit. Muschio is pretty oblivious, especially around you, but even he will catch on eventually if you keep freaking out. Thankfully, you are probably in the clear this time, but you might want to be careful in the near future. We don't want anything spoiled before your big night.

>>88081
Ignore the haters, Finnie. This is an awesome plan.

As far, for being named Finesse, you don't seem to have a lot of style yet. Let's see your stuff!! Unleash your super smoothness, and show that man who's boss!!...besides him that is.

Hey all how should she approach this? Should she have a very a forward approach or play coy?

Reach out and grab his cock.

>>88236
That'd get Fineese shot.

Considering that we're also part of Muschio, we can help prod him in the right direction ourselves. He trusts us more than anyone else.

Finesse 2009/12/08(Tue)14:51 No. 88352 ID: 18b9f0
File 126031267484.gif - (10.26KB , 800x600 , 752.gif )

Tislomer steps out to give us some privacy.
>"Well, I hope the herbs she's picked up will do the trick. It will be nice to see you feeling in good spirits again, after you've been ill for s--"
CRASH
THUMP

>"...what in blazes is all that noise? Is that Dompag banging around in the kitchen?
>Please, excuse me. I'll see you this evening, for dinner."

"A-ah! Sure. I-it's a date."

Oh geeze

>>88352
We have reason to believe it's a spy.

Alert the pyro. Or at least put on a top.

Finesse 2009/12/08(Tue)15:08 No. 88369 ID: 18b9f0
File 126031367966.gif - (6.78KB , 800x600 , 753.gif )

>>88354
I'm WEARING a top.
There's a lot of commotion coming from the Kitchen. I wonder what's going on in there. I hear Master Muschio shouting Dompag's name and I hear what sounds like heavy pounding on a door. I wonder what the Ogre got up to.

I really shouldn't go investigate. I need to stay in bed. Because I'm sick.
At least until tonight.
Tonight.

Tonight's the night everything comes together.

Do you actually need our advice? Because if so you're going to have to tell us more than that.

>>88369
HAHA, "COMES", I GET WHAT YOU MEAN FINNY.
Remember to cough into your elbow not your hand, you don't want Muschio to catch your "disease."

>>88371
Or do we?

>>88385
Nymph's Jinx causes incurable anal warts in men, so no.

Muschio 2009/12/08(Tue)17:25 No. 88616 ID: 18b9f0
File 126032191169.gif - (12.26KB , 800x600 , 754.gif )

Ah, you're back. Good timing. Dinner is in just a few hours.

I've been trying to get the storeroom into a bit of order. We've got a decent income now thanks to our two Kobolds, and our expenditures are very low. Truth be told, there's not much we've had to buy.

But I do have some butter and other finer ingredients for tonight's meal. Finesse is my number one assistant, I want to make sure she's fully recovered.

What happened, did Dompag trip?

>>88616
What was Dompag up to in the kitchen?

>>88616
What was that commotion earlier, Boss? We sorta blanked out on that one. Was Dompag doing something in the kitchen or making inappropriate passes at Tislomer or somethin'?

>>88616
You are a dick don't pour butter on Finesse and yell "BUTTERFACE BUTTERFACE FINESSE IS A BUTTERFACE" that is awful why were you even thinking that she is SICK, Muschio, and she is your assistant she does everything for you and you respond by POURING BUTTER ON HER?

>>88616
You any good of a cook, boss?

you've been talkin' about Fineese a lot... but she's been in her room.

How about you walk outside with her. Some fresh air ought to help a girl stuck inside so long.

>>88646
Better idea, combine the two. Have dinner outside. Picnic-kinda-thing. Watch the sunset, etc.

Muschio 2009/12/08(Tue)19:18 No. 88693 ID: 18b9f0
File 126032870493.gif - (8.02KB , 800x600 , 755.gif )

>>88624
>You are a dick don't pour butter on Finesse and yell "BUTTERFACE BUTTERFACE FINESSE IS A BUTTERFACE" that is awful why were you even thinking that she is SICK, Muschio, and she is your assistant she does everything for you and you respond by POURING BUTTER ON HER?
I...
I wasn't going to do that.
Why would I do that?
I'm not going to do that.

>>88693
Are you sure? I'm pretty sure butter was involved in some way.

Muschio 2009/12/08(Tue)19:22 No. 88701 ID: 18b9f0
File 126032896562.gif - (13.12KB , 800x600 , 756.gif )

Oh yes, that commotion a few hours ago. It seems our resident Ogre had a bit of a spill in the workshops and ended up knocking around a bunch of Tislomer's ingredients. To the clumsy's fellow's credit, he did stay around and help her clean up all the scattered herbaries and poultices.

Ah yes, a picnic! That sounds like a splendid idea. I'm sure --

>"CHIEF! CHIEF!"

>>88701
Whatever it is make someone else do it.

>>88701
Which one is that, and what does he have to report?

What exquisite saluting, you should commend him on it. Oh, also ask what's wrong.

Well, listen first. It might be important.

Think of, uh... what kind of food she likes to eat and cook some of that, ingredients allowing.

Make a mental list of topics to discuss. Start with future plans for the dungeon. It'll make you seem cool and businesslike.

And don't say you have enough money. More money is always useful, if only to hire assassins and so forth.

>>88701
Ask Pathos for a report.

Theta][Sigma 2009/12/08(Tue)19:28 No. 88711 ID: f21281
File 126032928796.jpg - (16.14KB , 300x230 , sealabuhoh.jpg )

>>88701
>Ogre
>Messed up Tislomer's ingredients
>Helped put them back, probably mixing them together in the process

"What's shakin', bub?"

Muschio 2009/12/08(Tue)19:32 No. 88715 ID: 18b9f0
File 126032954427.gif - (5.72KB , 800x600 , 758.gif )

"Yes Pathos, what is it? What do you have to report?"
>"Chief! I was scouting at the Goblin camp like you told me when I heard stories of a monster from the other village being turned against them. I went to investigate the other village, and I saw -- a spy! It was a spy, Chief! I wasn't able to get a good look at their superior before he rode off, but they announced to the whole village that they were being stationed there to spy on US, Chief! They're in the Goblin Village to keep an eye on our base!"

>>88715
Was the spy cute?

"Did you see what direction the leader departed to?"

Describe the spy.

Clearly, we must now capture [rape] her for information about this Superior.

>>88715
Ask him what the spy looked like.

>>88715
That's no good. We'll need our niglets to hang around for the sake of counter-espionage. Have one tail her. When she comes near our home, we shall kill her.

>>88715
Yeah, that's definitely no good. Get a good description of the spy - a drawing, if possible. And figure out what the leader looked like, or where they headed off to if possible.
And commend Pathos on his attentiveness - this is valuable information, no matter how detailed he has it. Just knowing that someone is watching you and The Vault intently is priceless.

Muschio 2009/12/08(Tue)19:42 No. 88727 ID: 18b9f0
File 12603301449.gif - (5.77KB , 800x600 , 759.gif )

"What does this spy look like?"
>"Like a demon, Chief! Wearing an outfit that makes them look like a demon! The hood is made to look like teeth. I couldn't get a good look at their face without giving myself away, but I'm almost positive they are a catfolk. Big triangular ears. But they were very tiny. Perhaps the spy is a dwarf catfolk!"
"Duly noted. Now, tell me, quickly! Which way did their leader go?"
>"To the East, Chief. I can't say with certainty that's where their base is located though, because the leader promised to be back by nightfall!"
"This evening? Did they say what for?"
>"Yes sir! The leader and the spy are having dinner together upon their return!"

>>88722
Kill? A spy? No, they are sources of information too good to pass up. Why, we've no idea who has sent this spy, nor why. Perhaps this spy can be turned to our side, and work as a double agent! Perhaps Dompag can make use of her.

>>88727
Send him as a messenger.

THERE WILL BE A DOUBLE-DATE

>>88727
Excellent! We shall get a group together and ambush them at dinner!

>>88727

This gives me a great idea. Have Tislomer whip up a poison and stealthily insert it in their food.

>>88735

Of course, I mean get our ninjaimps to insert it into their food.

>>88735
Oooh, then step out of the shadows with the antidote in hand and taunt them with it as they die! It's a classic evil villain move!

Inform Finesse that you will have dinner early, outside where the spy may easily overhear you. There, you will say many false things, like that you will be in some kind of vulnerable position later in the night.

Then, when the enemy returns, he'll take the opportunity to ambush you, falling into a trap you will set.

Just send Dompag go go tear their shit up. Wasn't there rumors of someone tearing Finesse's hometown shit up or something? I forgot in some weird subset of time and space.

None the less, Dompag should be wonderful at destruction. Lets go send him.

>>88738
They can't directly poison people. They can take poisoned things to a target, but they cannot explicitly poison someone.

...Also, add in some false romance talk. Like, maybe you'll exchange words about meeting somewhere romantic later in the night, where the enemy will try to capture you. I bet Finesse will be totally fine with choreographed romance talk.

Man, this is going to be like the Marriage of Figaro or something.

Go outside and sculpt a butter finesse.

We should probably keep our actions limited to laying low and snooping for now. Then we can get a good look at the commander and this spy. Plus even if we did someone strong enough to deal with it, ie dompag, then we will have one less person to defend our base, which at this point is key.

So what hat are you wearing on your DATE, Muschio?

>We should probably keep our actions limited to laying low and snooping for now.
No, I think we should make a complex and circuitous plan involving deception.

We must "accidentally" encounter this opposition. We will go out for a picnic, and we will picnic nearby to the spy and master. We should, perhaps, use the niglets as messengers: that way we can summon Domprag and the others if we need to. We will play the roles of lovers, out for an evening together. We will meet our unknown opponents, and talk with them some. We will share wine with them. We want them drunk. We, however, will merely sip. After we have gotten as inebriated as possible, we will subdue them, bring them home, and have the odds get to work on a prison.

I think you should let Finesse know what's going on before you do any serious planning about ambushes or traps, Boss. Make sure she gets what's going on.

Muschio 2009/12/08(Tue)19:56 No. 88756 ID: 18b9f0
File 126033098470.gif - (6.49KB , 800x600 , 760.gif )

I don't think we should stage a fake picnic at the same time as their dinner. The fact they'll be eating together implies they won't be doing any spying at the time, leaving my minions free to act.

Hm. This is worrying indeed.
"I will have my herbalist concoct a deadly poison. I need you to slip it into their food."
>"No can do, Chief! I told you we can't do something that direct! We cannot poison someone or something ourselves, and we cannot force ingestion of a pre-poisoned item. Best we can do is deliver something that is already potentially fatal if ingested."
"I see. Then I will send you along presently with something poison for their dinner."
>"Understood, Chief!"
"Afterwards I am making it your sole priority to keep tabs on this spy and their master. It is of the utmost importance you learn all about their plans and actions you possibly can."
>"Aye-aye, Chief!"

That works.

...better go make really certain Dompag didn't mix anything up.

The question is, what do we poison? They'll surely notice if a leg of ham suddenly appears on their picnic blanket while they aren't looking. We'd need to send something mundane thet they're likely to already have, like bread, or perhaps milk, catgirls fucking love milk.

Why do I get the feeling that we're poisoning ourselves?

You best not miss your date with Finnie, Bossman.

We would not approve of standing her up. Besides, you've already got yer minions on it, that's what they're for.

>>88759
Because Muschio is hilariously inept at everything. Watch, he'll accidentally poison his food and send aphrodisiacs to the spy.

>>88757
I think it was probably just an excuse they told the boss when he came to figure out why there was banging in the room.

>>88756
Hey, is there a loophole with them we can abuse?

Like, can they poison something if they don't know what they're using is poison? Like if they were told it was something else?

>>88761
Getting mighty Shakespeare in here...

>>88761

Dear god I HOPE this happens.

>>88756
Oh, this one is actually Ethos.

Muschio 2009/12/08(Tue)20:08 No. 88773 ID: 18b9f0
File 126033168695.gif - (12.33KB , 800x600 , 761.gif )

Yes. This will require careful planning. I suppose it's best to deliver the poisoned item with a convincing note of goodwill, perhaps from a forged sender.
But indeed, what to send? Would drink be less suspicious than tainted food, or at least more likely to be shared? Is milk a good choice, or would poison be easily noticed in the taste and coloration? How can I best make sure I've added enough to be absolutely fatal, yet also that they'll share the ingestion?

Oh, this is more complicated than I had realized.

>>88765
They don't seem unwilling, it's their nature which prohibits it. I'd imagine that either it wouldn't work, or it would cause dire physical harm to the denlings.

>>88773
How about a salad? With the poison mixed into the salad dressing?

As long as it's there before they see the table, they'll just assume that the Goblins set it out for them right? And bonus points if there actually is a salad there to begin with.

>>88773

Hmm...

Perhaps we could cook it into something?

you could try lacing it with laxatives, dont need much for an effect there.

>>88773
Choice of medium is easy, at least. Send a bottle of wine. Wine is always shared. Wine is rather strong flavored, so at worst they'll think it's an odd vintage. Make sure it has no label as something they'd recognize, and you're golden.

>>88773
Too bad we didn't bring any of the arsoncats back with us to test these questions.

It need not be a fully fatal dose, though, Big M. If we slip in just the right amount to weaken them in battle, our own team should be able to take them. This has the added effect of proving OUR superiority to the Goblins. We might even get new recruits out of this.

Use a somewhat weaker poison, so it will make them weak and lethargic, or induce an altered mental state. That way, instead of killing them outright, it will let you or an underling off them, without the risk of accidentally poisoning yourself, or the two not sharing it.

>>88777
cooking poison without knowing what will happen strikes me as a monumentally bad idea.

What poison are we using? Arsenic is always a good choice. It's utterly flavourless if you put it in wine

>>88786
We're getting the poison our herbalist gives us. Or possible the aphrodisiac she gives us.

>>88778
Make sure they don't take off their pants first

We could use our Malto heritage as a little bit of persuasion to convince the goblins that it is of good will and include it in the dinner. Your father WAS well liked after all by many except well, the people that overthrew you and everything.

Wine is the best shit to poison. It's classy and old fashioned.

Muschio 2009/12/09(Wed)04:18 No. 88955 ID: 18b9f0
File 126036108853.gif - (7.95KB , 800x600 , 762.gif )

Yes! Very well then, wine shall be the mode of transportation. I haul up just about all the alcoholic beverages we have on hand -- with a preference for wine, and making sure not to touch Babrakus's personal supply -- I collect several bottles of wine, about a half dozen, some of different types.

I bring them to Tislomer.
"Tislomer!"
>"Ah? Um, yes, boss?"
"I have a special, urgent request."
>"Oh, boss, I don't-"
"I need you to brew up the most lethal venom you can envision. All of these spirits must be transmogrified into the most toxic tainted tinctures you can muster. I'll be sending them all out for our enemy's soiree tonight."
>"...okee-dokee."

"Why, what did you think i wanted."

>>88955
Shall we go shardhopping to let people know not to touch the wine, Boss? Seems like it'd be easier and more secretive - that way, no would-be spies might overhear such sensitive plans.

>>88955
Uh, isn't she cooking dinner, too?

I hope she makes sure to keep all the ingredients separate, and makes absolutely sure the poisoned alcohol is kept away from your other minions.

Is there a special spot to put poisoned stuff? Like a sectioned-off corner of the workshop with a warning sign?

Muschio 2009/12/09(Wed)04:29 No. 88959 ID: 18b9f0
File 126036174580.gif - (9.48KB , 800x600 , 763.gif )

It shouldn't be an issue. I'm sending out all the tainted wine, just as soon as I get this note written.

And forging a hospitable note is as easy as mimicking a more primitive hand. Forgery, I admit, is one of my finer points.

>>88959
Ask Finesse if the note looks like something a goblin elder would write.

Muschio 2009/12/09(Wed)04:32 No. 88963 ID: 18b9f0
File 126036193242.gif - (8.94KB , 800x600 , 764.gif )

And in the course of just over an hour the poison has been manufactured, administered, and sent for deployment. Pathos will leave it on the poor fool spy's doorstop. It will be shared with their leader -- whoever this is spying on me.

This is a truly brilliant tactic. I strike silently, from the shadows, and before my pursuer is even aware that I am aware of THEM!
They think themselves safe and nestled in the security of that village, hunting me.
We shall see who is the hunter, and who is the hunted.

We shall see.

>>88959
True kobold language is written by balling a pencil in your fist and squiggling unintelligibly all over the page, as an infant might.

...this should fool non-kobolds though. Plus they can actually read it, which helps.

>>88964
That may be true, but it's a goblin village.

Muschio 2009/12/09(Wed)04:38 No. 88970 ID: 18b9f0
File 126036233155.gif - (6.35KB , 800x600 , 765.gif )

>>88964
Pathos said it's a GOBLIN village, you simpleton!

Ah, now with the poison sent, it's time for the perfect endcap to this beautiful triumph: dinner.

>>88970
Heyy, dressing up for the occasion? You're such a gentleman.

>>88970
You're lookin' pretty dapper there, Boss.
I bet Finesse will be dressed up prettily as well, if she's really feeling better by now.

Muschio 2009/12/09(Wed)04:59 No. 88979 ID: 18b9f0
File 126036355965.gif - (9.14KB , 800x600 , 766.gif )

It's a beautiful night.
The warm breeze carries fragrances from the meal.

>"I hope you like this. I cooked it all myself."
My qualms about food prepared by the sick will have to be set aside. This is for Finesse's sake, and I must act a gentleman about it.
"I didn't know you could cook, Finesse."
>"...there's a lot of things you don't know about me, Master Muschio."

What a nice night.
I know I shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch, but I'm already flush with the thrill of victory over my sneaky nemesis. Ah! What a feeling.

>>88979
So... ask her about herself! This is a good chance to get to know her a little better.

Muschio 2009/12/09(Wed)05:05 No. 88983 ID: 18b9f0
File 126036393383.gif - (9.50KB , 800x600 , 767.gif )

>"Master Muschio, Babrakus was nice enough to give us some wine to share over dinner. Would you like some?"

>>88983
Inspect it. It's not one of the bottles you set aside, right? I mean, you did say you left Babrakus's stash alone.

>>88983
This is why we suggested warning the others, Boss.
I hope you remember what those bottles looked like real good...

Don't worry, it's from Babrakus' stash.

Muschio 2009/12/09(Wed)05:15 No. 88989 ID: 18b9f0
File 126036450913.gif - (10.47KB , 800x600 , 768.gif )

...yyyyyes, I'm sure that I didn't touch Babrakus's supply.
Nevertheless it's slightly unnerving. Just to be safe...
"Ah, thank you, Finesse, but I think I'll just stick with milk. I need my wits about me for tomorrow. There is always more to be done."
>"And after you did so well today..."
Ah yes, and what a smooth victory it was. I really must not get ahead of myself. And yet I feel I did so well.

It's awfully warm out tonight. What a beautiful summer's night.
I almost wish I'd brought a lighter coat.

I bet you'd feel much cooler if you POURED BUTTER ON FINESSE

>>88989
If you're getting too hot, perhaps you should remove your heavy coat.

>>88989
Strip down to cool down. Also strip down Finesse.
And then have a picnic SO HARD.

I heard the other day that butter is a great lube replacement.

>>88989
She didn't use wine in any of the other food, did she?
Maybe you ought to tell her about the whole 'poisoning your enemy' thing. Tell her to get close 'cause you gotta whisper it to her so nobody listening in will be able to hear it so easy.

If it's so hot why the hell is she wearing a heavy coat?

Muschio 2009/12/09(Wed)05:37 No. 89004 ID: 18b9f0
File 126036582731.gif - (9.77KB , 800x600 , 769.gif )

"It's quite warm out. Do you mind if I remove my coat?"
>"Oh! O-of course not, Master Muschio. Go ahead."

>>89004
Ask her if she has any cards. After all, what is a better way of getting to know each other than a friendly match of Poker?

>>89005
I think dinner should be the priority here. She cooked all this food, best not to let it go cold.

Muschio 2009/12/09(Wed)05:46 No. 89009 ID: 18b9f0
File 126036636117.gif - (9.72KB , 800x600 , 770.gif )

>"I... hope you don't mind if I do the same...?"

>>89009
She's awful pretty tonight, ain't she, Boss?
...Er, I mean, she's looking much better. Right?

>>89011

Except for that gross big hand. Blech.

Humptime now?

>>89017
Boss? Are you okay?

>>89018

That's not a humorous nosebleed set on by a glimpse at a female form.

The boss has a brain tumor. D:

Muschio 2009/12/09(Wed)05:57 No. 89025 ID: 18b9f0
File 12603670511.gif - (18.38KB , 800x600 , 774.gif )

Hm? What?
Oh yes.

I'm... bleeding?

>>89025
I know it might not be a right time for this, but are you, by chance, part Kobold?

>>89025
might want to discreetly wipe that blood away before Finnie says something. Wouldn't want to worry her, would you?

I would suggest dealing with the whole nosebleed thing, definate mood killer, that.

>>89025
Got any ideas, Boss? Thought I saw some galaxies off in the distance for a sec there, and now you're bleeding. Are you alright?

Boss finesse the wine don't drink it oh god

>>89025
Something's wrong. Have you eaten anything yet? Maybe you caught what Finesse had.

Or maybe there was an herbs/spices mixup in the kitchen after Dompag had that spill.

Muschio 2009/12/09(Wed)06:02 No. 89036 ID: 18b9f0
File 126036736481.gif - (67.35KB , 800x600 , 775.gif )

>"How are you feeling, Master Muschio?"
"Finesse... wh-what's happening? I... I feel so..."
>"I'm sorry it had to be this way between us... But I've waited a long time for this."

Holy crap you are getting date raped.

What have you done, Finesse?

quick, shard jump into finnie, this doesn't look like it's supposed to be an aphrodisiac

Hold on! The ogre knocked a great deal of stuff from the kitchen around, there might have been a mixup with the wines, I have no actual suggested course of action if this is the truth, onnly wanted to present the theory.

>>89036
Ask Finesse why she insists on splitting into three people and why there's snow everywhere.

>>89040
In the future, F5 before posting.

>>89040
Dompag messed up the kitchen BEFORE muschio brought told Tislomer to brew poisons.

>>89044
This is true, but some of the wine might have been missplaced, and the kobolt might have identified wine by location rather than the lable, while Finesse might have done the opposite.

So what is Finesse up to? Taking "I want to be a princess" to the litteral extreme?

Muschio 2009/12/09(Wed)06:10 No. 89047 ID: 18b9f0
File 126036782747.gif - (122.81KB , 800x600 , 776.gif )

It... it hurts so... and my insides are...
it's like... like daggers...
blood...

I

can't see
anything

Betrayal! Draw your sword! Then immediately drop it because man you are fucked up right now.

Muschio 2009/12/09(Wed)06:11 No. 89049 ID: 18b9f0
File 126036786234.gif - (4.34KB , 800x600 , 777.gif )

can't
breathe

can't

hear

Vomit.

Muschio 2009/12/09(Wed)06:12 No. 89051 ID: 18b9f0
File 126036796060.gif - (5.04KB , 800x600 , 778.gif )

Finesse?

Expend an extra life.

>>89051
And, as always, >>87565 makes perfect sense now.

MEDIIIIIIIC!