1/2 Frillsby 2018/02/02(Fri)02:26 No. 864007 ID: bfb318
File 151756719393.png - (140.26KB , 800x800 , 331.png )

Chapter 6

>"They're here?"
"They're here."
>"That's a big box."
"A big box of magic cards."
>"You could make a lot of decks out of that many cards. Or one big deck."
"A deck isn't legal if it can't be shuffled without assistance, Gallsby."
>"Well that's a problem 'cause I don't know if I can shuffle any deck without assistance."
"You'll find a way. Right now, there's a more immediate problem."
>"Yeh you sure look unhappy for someone getting a giant box of thousands and thousands of cards. Especially since you've been talking about how hype you are for building decks!"
"That's just it. This entire box of cards is...."

"It's un...."

2/2 Frillsby 2018/02/02(Fri)02:26 No. 864008 ID: bfb318
File 151756720420.png - (100.38KB , 800x800 , 332.png )

"It's completely unsorted..."

Along with suggestions for both/either character, please select a point of view between either Frillsby or Gallsby.

Frillsby: I think you might need some stress relief while dealing with this. Remember, colour, cmc, then collector number.

Gallsby: At risk of damaging cards, how about some hellacious theorycrafting. And also helping frillsby from a morale standpoint.

Sorting these is gonna take a really long time, put on some music. Maybe smooth jazz if you've got any?

Also, let's see gallsby perspective while frillsby does the sorting.

Fastest way to sort large numbers of Magic cards:

1. Hold cards upside-down, so the expansion symbol is on the left. Holding this way lets you sort cards into different sets very very fast.

2. Once sorted by set, next you sort by color, then by collector's number.

Can you guys even touch magic cards without turning them into boring non-magic cards?

>"A deck isn't legal if it can't be shuffled without assistance, Gallsby."
Giant monster hands probably help with that.

>unsorted
Quick, do you know anyone with magic sorting powers?

>>864008
Frillsby: Complain out loud about how you wish it was against the law to send a giant box of Magic the Gathering cards unsorted, so that you can arrest whoever sent them unsorted!

Gallsby: Roll your eyes and tell Frillsby he’s overreacting and being childish. Then tell him to stop that because he’s supposed to be the serious one and being childish is your job!

Frillsby’s point of view.

>>864036
>Can you guys even touch magic cards without turning them into boring non-magic cards?
They'll be turned into Mundane: A Collection cards instead

>>864008
Do we have enough money to have a dude sort them for us?
Or is that half the fun?

>>864008
Galssby suck dick for moral.
Frillsby get to sorting its gonna be a long day.
Gallsby perspective.

>>864044
Oh yeah, this sounds good.

Ask around town for someone with magic sorting/organizing powers.

>>864008
frillsby point of view

Frillsby PoV

I think we're better being the straight man setting up / reacting to our partner than vice versa.

Frillsby PoV
Toss them around maybe they'll magically sort themselves

>>864008

Frillsby: time to get sorting. Mana colors, Types, or series; what's your favorite method?

>>864007
Gallsby to frantically try not to destroy cards with your monster hands.

Can we follow the mayor instead?

Frillsby: don't sort by full series, for goodness' sake, that's not going to actually accomplish much unless you're using a giant guide of every card printed. And if you are, wowza, what a weird choice. Divide by mana color, then subdivide in there by type. If you spot that you've actually got a lot from a certain archetype, subdivide those, but that's the sort of thing that can wait for sorting round 2.

Gallsby: take stock of the cards as they get sorted and start coming up with deck ideas if you spot any particularly fun ones. Maybe something using an alternate win condition? Also, provide snacks/drinks, but nothing that would get too much grease on the fingers. Save the blowjobs for when it seems like he's gonna lose it, they'll be more relaxing for him.

Frillsby perspective.

>>864077
Yeah sounds good, be the straight gay man. Try to find some chumps to sort this for you like that goat.

1/2 Frillsby 2018/02/03(Sat)07:44 No. 864258 ID: bfb318
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I get to it, sorting by flipping the cards upsidedown to divide them by set, then by color and type. Gallsby looks at me weird. As soon as his claws start getting anywhere close to a card, I distract him.

"It should be against the law to send unsorted magic cards."
>"That's overreacting and wasn't it your dad who sent them?"
"And he's probably the one that got them all jumbled! Go start looking up what decks to make. And theorycrafting I guess."
>"Mannnn that sounds like homework, I want to help sort."
"Sorting is the most boring of all of it!"
>"It's therapeutic Frillsby! I'd rather suck dick to boost morale!"
"You can't suck dick all day!"
>"That s- "
"It's not a challenge."

Gallsby makes jazz hands while he goes over to the computer, where I hear his claws clacking on the keyboard. I sort cards, and it only takes a few minutes for him to come back and start reading cards I leave around. Then he gets bored and goes back to the computer, and lasts long enough there that I think he got sold on theorycrafting. That, or he's just looking up dumb videos and not doing magic at all. He did put on some smooth jazz, at least.

>You're anti-magic
Thankfully my magic only works on magic, not fake-magic that just has the word 'magic' written on it.

2/2 Frillsby 2018/02/03(Sat)07:44 No. 864259 ID: bfb318
File 151767267459.png - (153.86KB , 800x800 , 334.png )

....

11 AM. There's too many. Too many magic cards exist. I made a giant pile of organized cards, but the unsorted pile looks the same.

Maybe I should get some help. I can invite them for drafting and magic partying. Then once I invite them over, I sucker punch them with helping sort my cards.

I just have to think of who, if I decide I want help.

>>864259
goat boi, mayor, and khivet they all have hands that can help.

Mayor, Mayor sister, Yams, T-shirt guy, Kiva.

Oh yeah and goat boy.

>>864262
mayors sister too

>>864259
Mayor, Mayor's Sister, and Goat boy. It's the perfect combination.

Maybe make it into a bit of a contest? Players draft their deck from the giant pile of cards, and when they lose they have to sort it into those piles? Repeat until sorted and then do deck building or something?

Does that box have spaces to put the cards in? You probably should sort into those just so the stacks you currently have can't be knocked over.

>>864262
>>864263
>>864264
>>864265
>>864267
All of these.

Frillsby are you sure it was your dad's fault and you weren't a terrible kid who never sorted his cards?

>>864259
Yams can help!

>smooth jazz
BLEUGH

Well we already know that Goat and Yams are to polite to say no so start with them. Not sure about the others though?
What about Randy?

>>864259
Yeah but you're stressed out, dominate Gallsby hard for a bit then invite people over to help you sort and play magic/ watch you dom Gallsby some more... unless Karma guy is near enough to affect then no dominating today.

Invite the mayor? They're normally bored.

Invite Villi and Yams over

Invite everybody over and somehow make it a strip game so everyone is motivated to do it faster. No matter what happens, everybody wins!

1/3 Frillsby 2018/02/04(Sun)11:09 No. 864508 ID: bfb318
File 151777136837.png - (106.86KB , 800x800 , 335.png )

>Are you sure it was your dad's fault and you weren't a terrible kid who never sorted his cards?
I remember sorting them efficiently and... uh... in their own way?

That's starting to sound pretty bad, so I stop thinking about it.

>Status on karma man
Darrin ended up settling in a house to the west of town, outside of karma range. It's an abandoned home that needs some work on it, but he seemed happy to get a home in a town that was willing to deal with the issue at all, and had no problem with the idea of fixing it up.

I call Yams.

"Hi, Frillsby!"
"Hey Yams. I just got a shipment of magic cards. Want to do some deck building?"
>"Maybe after then we can do some some dick buildi-"
"Gallsby I'm on the phone!"
>"Well duh I didn't think you'd forget I wasn't Yams!"
"Ummm I'd love to do whatever! Uh, what about..."
"Khivat is invited, too."
"Good! Hey, Khivat, want to play some magic cards?"
"It's no smash, but my hands could use a break. Why not?"
"Great! Okay, Frillsby, we'll be over soon!"

2/3 Frillsby 2018/02/04(Sun)11:11 No. 864510 ID: bfb318
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I ask the same to Villi.

>"Oh sure! I love cards, and haven't messed with them in ages! Um, I do have to watch the bakery, though, so I can't just come over whenever like that. If you want to do it at my bakery, though, you're welcome to!"
"Thanks, we'll keep it in mind."

Then Ante.
>"If it ain't shirts, it ain't worth!"

Then Randy.
>"I am sorry, Frillsby, but I have lost my interest in such games long ago. However, don't let that stop you from stopping here. You are welcome to use my location to play such games with your friends, so long as everyone's behavior remains fitting."
"We'll keep that in mind, thanks."

3/3 Frillsby 2018/02/04(Sun)11:12 No. 864514 ID: bfb318
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I also call Mayor. On the 6th ring, she answers.

>"Mrghrng?"
"Hello, Mayor. Frillsby here."
>"Hrghhrrm."
"Gallsby and I are playing magic. The card game, that is. Want to join us?"
>"..."
"Mayor?"
>"How many people know you're playing magic?"
"So far I've contacted Yam-"
>"Too many. My sister's going to find out."
"That's fine considering I was thinking of inviting her, too."
>"No, not fine. She's a card game demon."
"Please explain."
>"She used to be a pro at card games."
"Maybe she can give us some pointers?"
>"Maybe she can flip the table when you only rotate your card thirty two degrees to tap it. She is the sweetest person until competition is involved, including but not limited to card games, sibling rivalry, and corporate environments. That's going to be the side of her you know if she catches wind you're playing magic. If you like the idea of that, I'll give you her number."

Yes, we like that. Give us her number.

... So is that definitely a no from yourself, Mayor? I assume so but I hope not!

>>864514
send her we will fix her at the goat bakery.

>>864514
I mean if she's going to find out anyways you might as well give us her number so get points for being nice enough to invite her.

>Um, I do have to watch the bakery, though, so I can't just come over whenever like that. If you want to do it at my bakery, though, you're welcome to!
Sounds like the bakery is about to become card sorting central.

Does the bakery even have tables for everyone to sit at?

I kinda remember the bakery being pretty small and not having very many tables and chairs.

>>864514
>Mayor’s sister
Uh oh, it sounds like if you invite her, prepare for her to tell you you’re sorting your cards incorrectly, building your deck incorrectly, touching your cards incorrectly, etc.

And if she’s anything like Mayor says she is, then prepare for all the other people you invited to get up and leave because they don’t want to deal with that kinda bullshit.

But if she does start to get rowdy or flipping tables, ask Mayor if we’re allowed to arrest her sister for disturbing the peace?

You can mitigate this by only ever playing at Randy's, which means she has to behave.

Just have Mayor come along, to either help keep her sister in check, or to help everyone else dodge the things that set her off

Frillsby 2018/02/05(Mon)04:55 No. 864711 ID: bfb318
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"I think I like the idea of it well enough. But if she does get rowdy, can we arrest her for disturbing the peace?"
>"Yes. Maybe just arrest her anyway."

>"I'm joking."

>"Sort of."

>"I don't think she'll be that bad."
"Could you be around to keep her in line?"
>"I could do that, so I'll come by and play card games. Or sleep on the couch. Either or."
"I'm thinking Villi's place, although it only had so many tables."
>"You know, my sister used to own a card shop here."
"What, where?"
>"North part of main street, along with the other handful of abandoned buildings up there. It won't take much convincing to get her to get that place up and running again, if you want."

I hear Mayor mutter under her breath as she texts me her sister's number.

>"And then sister won't have as much room to complain when she runs the risk of driving people out of her store."

>>864711
goat's though. no need to go to an entirely new location and you can support your local Goat boi's business.

>>864711
Unless the place is right next door to the bakery that would keep the cute goat out of things which is a high price to pay.

For now set up at the goat's place. Maybe move to the empty store if we need to. I'm sure we'll be able to drag him along if the people there are eating his stock.

1/2 Frillsby 2018/02/07(Wed)10:22 No. 865513 ID: bfb318
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"In the interest of keeping Villi around, we're going to use the bakery."
>"You know what, I'd prefer that, too. You know what else? Keep her number for future reference, but I'll invite and bring my sister over myself. We'll be over there this evening."
"Sounds like a plan."
>"Then it's a plan."

I hang up, and start packing up.

"Come on Gallsby, help me pack u..."

He gives me jazz hands.

"Stand around and silently judge me while I pack things up to move this party to Villi's."
>"Done."

2/2 Frillsby 2018/02/07(Wed)10:23 No. 865514 ID: bfb318
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We arrive at Villi's.

>"Hey Villi how's customers?" Gallsby asks. There's no one else here yet.
"Hey!" Villi bounces once when we come in. "Glad you came here! Customers are customering. It's just after the lunch rush, so all the regulars already came and went. That's a lotta cards."
"A lotta unsorted cards. We have to sort them."
>"Frillsby totally didn't mention that on purpose."
"Haha it's probably for the best because, uh, speaking of things not mentioned... I used to mess around with other card games, but I've never played magic. How would you compare magic cards to, say, pokemon cards?"

>>865514
Like an algebra nerd next to a calculus nerd

Similar stuff. Just different rulsets.

Its easy to pick up but hard to master.

>>865514

He totally meant to say YuGiOh. I can feel it from here.

>>865514
>How would you compare magic cards to, say, pokemon cards?
The basic rules are a little more obtuse for a basic player than Pokemon or Yugioh. The game's cooler, though.

Instead of all the energy cards pokemon has, magic has land cards, which generate mana. Power plants instead of power, sorta.

>>865514
Same sort of game.

Oh my god this quest still exists after all these years, I'm so happy xD God damn though the 'karma' thing got annoying... Anyway I haven't played Magic so I wouldn't be able to help in that regard, but I know Pokémon and Yugioh are fun. (Also the bloody mayor is going from not running the town all day by sleeping to not running the town by playing a card game? xD)

Pretty much exactly the same except the loser GETS SET ON FIRE!

1/2 Frillsby 2018/02/08(Thu)08:48 No. 865832 ID: bfb318
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"Like an algebra nerd next to a calculus nerd?"
"Is... magic the algebra?"
"No. But don't worry, it's easy to pick up, and the basic rules are more or less the same."
>"Not for me." says Gallsby. "Did you mean to say YuGiOh?"
"I played some of that, too! I was mostly into pokemon though."
>"Haha who actually played pokemon?"
"I did! My friends really liked playing with me. I wasn't very good at it though. A lost a lot of cards to them! Oh right! Since we're using your cards, we're not playing for keeps, are we?"
"Who would play for keeps?"
"U-uh, in pokemon... it was a rule that if you KO a pokemon, you get their card!... Right?"
".... Villi. Villi that's not a rule. That was never a rule."
"But my friends..."

"... Ohhh.... ohh noooo...."
>"So how bout that maaaagic?!" Gallsby yells.
"L-let's do that. In honor of my shiny charizard... is there a penalty for losing though?"
>"Loser gets set on fire."

I'm not going to grace that with a response. Neither does Villi, although it looks like he just doesn't know how to respond. I think he's lost in thought over all the pokemon he's lost.

2/2 Frillsby 2018/02/08(Thu)08:49 No. 865833 ID: bfb318
File 151810854484.png - (135.53KB , 800x800 , 342.png )

We show Villi some magic cards to show him the layout. Yams and Khivat show up shortly afterwards.

"H-hey Frillsby, Gallsby!" Yams says.
"Hi."
"Hello. The mayor and her sister are going to show up, but it won't be for hours, so let's get started beforehand."
>"Yaaams!" Gallsby starts. "You ready to be lit on fire?"
"I'd prefer not if possible!"
"I'm the only one that can do that." says Khivat.

In terms of speed of sorting, we have a few options.

Fastest - We sit down and sort, and that's it.
Medium - We grab whatever cards we want to build a deck, and loser has to sort the cards into appropriate piles.
Slowest - We draft. Instead of some kind of free-for-all to grab whatever cards we want as fast as we can, we arrange a large number of cards randomly into small piles. Each person takes a random pile, takes one card out of it, and passes the pile to the person on their left. Repeat until the piles are all taken, then repeat 3 or so times depending. Or some other method that involves being less chaotic and more thoughtful, at the expense of taking a longer time.

>>865833
medium. new rule Villi doesn't sort because he is providing the food and drink and in honor of his shiny charizard T_T

Slowest, because draft. Plus it'd even out the skill differences a bit, what with it depending on the cards in each mini pile.

>>865833

Is this going to be a game of Magic with GUNS, CARS and EXPLOSIONS? Or just like, you know, a regular game of Magic? Do the wizards have magic guns and cars? Regardless, medium sounds like a good way to go.

Medium.

Slowest. Also we might want to make sure that Khivat has a shirt or at least pants before the Mayor shows.

>>865833
Slowest

Slowest because it's probably going to be the most fun for everyone and you don't really need to rush if this is going to be a regular thing.

Slowest

>>865833
Medium

Medium, I say. Villi can be exempt from losing because he's host and because he's suffered enough.

>>865833
Medium seems fun.

Medium and Villi is exempt. Also gallsby is exempt.

1/2 Frillsby 2018/02/09(Fri)10:17 No. 866139 ID: bfb318
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Villi brings out a basket of hot bread for us.

"Alright, here's what I think will be best. Instead of spending hours drafting, we'll all build decks out of this pile of unsorted cards. A deck is at least 60 cards. Loser in a best of 3 has to sort their cards in the sorted pile, and you can't hold onto unsorted cards if it's not in your deck. Except Villi. In honor of him hosting and his lost charizard, if he loses, he can keep playing with his losing deck if he wants."
"I really don't mind sorting! I think I'd like to." Villi says.
"Well okay then."
"Hm."
"Is that a problem, Khivat?"
"No, I just realized that means that as we sort more and more cards, that'll leave the worst cards in the pile. Games will get played with worse and worse cards. Mind you that I don't have a problem with that."
"Alright. You talking reminds me that maybe you should wear a shirt. The mayor is stopping by."
"Is it a formal occasion occasion?"
"It's a presentable occasion!"
"Fine, business fuckers."

Yams also apparently packs a shirt for whenever Khivat wants to wear one. It's oversized, but that means she can get away with not wearing pants, I guess.

2/2 Frillsby 2018/02/09(Fri)10:18 No. 866140 ID: bfb318
File 151820030521.png - (103.14KB , 800x800 , 344.png )

With Gallsby exempt from sorting due to card clawing, it's just me, Yams, and Khivat. Gallsby claims he's happy to just look over other people's cards to see what's going on instead of actively playing, at least until he finds a way to get around the issue. He disagrees with trimming his claws to non-sharp levels.

I've got to decide on my kind of deck. I could do a casual aggressive deck, just for the sake of ease of play. On the other hand, if I do a tryhard control deck. The cards I'm finding for the latter are good and rude, so I'd probably win, and I am pretty sick of sorting cards.

>>866140
call Ante have him deliver Gallsby soft t-shirt fingers

>>866140
Gallsby just play with your feet.
Go with the casual shit.

>>866140
Go tryhard. It'll be hilarious when they get fed up with you and start burning all your lands.

>>866140
Do a weird gimmicky deck.

Go casual aggressive deck. Let's see what can we do with out going all out.

Yes. Weird gimmicks that are mostly silly, and in exceptionally rare occasions ridiculously broken.

Squirrels.

>>866139
Have pity on the goat, Khivat, don't make him enforce the no shirts no shoes no service rule.

>He disagrees with trimming his claws to non-sharp levels.
He just needs to use tools to hold cards. Get him some salad tongs or something.

>>866246
Or some corks to stick on the ends of his claws.

Put together a casual aggressive deck. It'll give everyone a little bit better of a chance against you.

1/2 Frillsby 2018/02/11(Sun)10:24 No. 866582 ID: bfb318
File 151837346842.png - (151.23KB , 800x800 , 345.png )

>Casual aggressive
I go squirrels, with a little bit of filler cards to get the right amount of cards.

Things that make squirrels, and things that make more squirrels. Then things that make all squirrels stronger based on how many squirrels exist. I don't have all the cards to make a truly broken deck here, but it is gimmicky, and has a chance of comboing into a ridiculous assortment of cards.

Villi sorts his deck out first, so he and I will play. Yams and Khivat are taking some time conspiring together to help each other make their decks, so they'll fight each other first.

Villi, meanwhile, gives Gallsby a couple of corks and a pair of rubber coated tongs to use so that he might be able to do anything.

2/2 Frillsby 2018/02/11(Sun)10:26 No. 866584 ID: bfb318
File 151837357577.png - (136.75KB , 800x800 , 346.png )

Game 1 involves me playing squirrels. We make some trades, and it's more or less an even game for several turns. Villi does pick it up quickly, and despite some minor misplays, doesn't do anything overly self destructive.

I slowly accumulate enough squirrels to have 9 small squirrels and one big squirrel against a few of his creatures.

"I play beastmaster ascension." I pause to make sure it resolves, and he reads the card. "Then I attack with everything. Since I have more than 7 attackers, I get 7 counters on ascension, which triggers it so that all my creatures now have +5/+5 each."
"Er - don't they do damage first, then get the +5?"
"No, I declare them as attackers, then they get the +5's, then they deal damage."
>"Buuuuullshiiiit!" says Gallsby, who looks it up on his phone. "Oh wait no that's totally right I guess."
"How much health do I have again?" asks Villi.
>"20."
"And you have.. 9 things with 6 power each... ohh... oh I seeeee..."

Game 2 goes better for Villi as he manages to get a spider that can block a creature for each one of its legs, and also gives it indestructible. With that, he can block 8 of my things for free. I don't have an answer to that, and lose to a few turns of not being able to block his flying creatures that just deal damage over my squirrels.

We move onto Game 3.

In a few turns I draw one of my two Earthcrafts. It's a card that is banned in most formats, as it does things like combines with my Squirrel Nest to make infinite squirrels. This gives me options.

Ignore combo. Don't bully the goat.
Send infinite squirrels. It'll be a shame to end up losing and having to do away with this deck, when Khivat is looking more and more smug over there as she seems to be wiping the floor with Yams.

>>866584
Do iiiiiiit. You can make it up to him and combos are fun to use.

This is what you been waiting for, DO IT.

>>866584
DO IT. Teach him the true meaning of Magic.

>>866584

Make a hasty bet:

Loser of this round has to SCRUB SOME DISHES. There's no way this could possibly backfire and we get some muzzle-hugs from the cute goat.

>>866584
squirrel that boi.

Send infinite squirrels, but you have to do a hammy yugioh declaration of how your combo works.

You have a losers' bracket in this little tournament, right?

Send in the arbitrary number of squirrels. Besides, he might have some removal or a board clear.

You cup overfloweth with squirrels. You should share some.

>>866584
Attack with something else, wait until he's close to death, then finish him off with the combo so he can see its power without being one-shotted by it.

>>866584
Unleash the fluffy flood.

You know he's got a card that'll hit you with some instant karma in there.

>>866584
Unleash the infinite squirrel generator.

Make a wager then bully goat.

Time for wagers, because either you bully the goat with squirrels and then get some shenanigans, or the goat turns it around and he gets to feel like the best at magic, which is always good for new players.

He said he was fine with sorting so just give him a headruffle afterwards. How often do you get th create INFINITE SQUIRRELS?

UNLEASH THE HORDE!

>>866584
show him the wonder on a limited scale. He's probably smart enough to see the potential.

Frillsby 2018/02/12(Mon)10:14 No. 866914 ID: bfb318
File 151845929903.png - (104.95KB , 800x800 , 347.png )

"Hey."
"H-hey?"
"Want to make a bet?"
"What would we bet on?"
"Who's winning this game."
"Uhhhhhh I'm suddenly a lot less confident in this game. Are these those mind games I've been hearing about?"
>"Don't be a coward, Villi!" says Gallsby.
"O-okay, what does the winner win?"
"The loser has to scrub some dishes."
"Oh okay! Well I'm sure I'm going to lose now, but I accept.
"Alright then. Then I play Earthcraft, which sits as an enchantment on the board. This allows me tap an untapped creature I control in order to tap my basic land. I tap my squirrel, allowing me to untap this forest, which you'll see is a basic land that's been enchanted with Squirrel Nest. I then tap this forest with Squirrel Nest's given ability, generating a green 1/1 squirrel. Although it has summoning sickness, it is untapped, which allows it to be tapped to activate Earthcraft's ability again. Which I do, to untap my forest."
"Uhhhh...."
"Which I tap this forest, again, for another 1/1 squirrel. I take this new squirrel and tap it in order to untap my forest yet again."
"C-can you do this?"
>"It's bullshit!" says Gallsby. "But it's legal bullshit."
"I repeat this action 6 million times. I now have 6 million and 9 squirrels, 6 million of which are tapped. I don't have anything that lets me untap them and give them haste, so I pass turn." It's actually not legal to make infinite squirrels, come to think of it. I have to specify a number.
>"Frillsby!" says Gallsby. "Try not to sound too much like you're auditioning to play the villain in a card game cartoon!"
"Is it... my turn, now?"

... the game went on for awhile, so I have more mana to burn. 5 mana, which means... I can play coat of arms if I wanted to, which will give all my creatures +1/+1 for each other creature that shares its own type. Since they're all squirrels, that will give them 6 million and 8 additional damage and toughness each.

So if I really wanted to bully the goat...

>>866914
bully that goat.

Embrace villainy! Use a towel as a cape and deliver the most dramatic speech you can think of about been the evil lords of squirrels.

Bully goat and act surprised at your comeuppance when he uses some card that turns a squirrel against you. Be sure to continue the card game cartoon villain act appropriately.

If he is playing red maybe reconsider.

If not go for it. Even if he counters you its still fun.

>>866914
Unleash all of your bullshit moves.

...That way when you lose it'll be funnier when you end up sucking his dick under the table.

>>866914
Hubris is the undoing of many a villain. Do it.
If he wins by turning your power against you, then it will teach him that he can counter most anything with the right cards. A valuable lesson.

>>866914

So this is basically like a directed nuke? But where it's possible to have something deflect it (/back towards you?)

Become the villain of a children’s card game! Make sure to use your evil voice and narrate everything you do and what all your cards do.

>>866914
Bully

You have already won, making it more silly will only improve everything! Go big.

1/2 Frillsby 2018/02/13(Tue)16:36 No. 867209 ID: bfb318
File 151856859102.png - (127.81KB , 800x800 , 348.png )

He's playing blue and white, but it seems to focus on flying creatures more than control.

I'll ham it up a bit.

"I tap the rest of my mana, which allows me to play Coat of Arms. Every squirrel I have now gets 1 power and toughness for each other squirrel, meaning they have 6 million and 9 power and toughness each. I swing in with my 8 untapped squirrels for... 42 million and 72 damage, I think it'll be."
"Ummmm.... I tap this for one green mana." Villi says. I don't know why he wants green mana, unless - "I play fog."
"... fog."
"Y-yeah, it prevents all combat damage this turn!"
"... Villi that card isn't even very good."
"Um...."

He looks at the board.

"I disagree?"
"You're not even playing green, Villi!"
"It's a really good card, and I have multi-mana sources!"
"That.... nevermind. I pass turn."

Well, I did tap everything, but I still have a lot of health. This just delays a turn.

Villi draws a basic plains land, which I know since he plays it immediately. Then he gawks at the few cards he has in hand, struggling to get an answer. He could swing in for around 8 damage with a few fliers, but he's a far cry from lethal without playing any sudden bombs.

"C-can I see your coat of arms?"

I pass it. He reads it carefully.

"Um... I play Wings of Velis Vel. I put it on my Horizon Scholar. This should work?"

He puts it down. What the heck is a 'tribal instant?' I don't even remember this card, but there it is.

Until end of turn, target creature - the scholar - has base power/toughness of 4/4... gains all creature types... gains flying, but it's already a flyer.

Wait a second, all creature types? That includes squirrel. I look at coat of arms again. Its effects are for all creatures on the battlefield? That means it's not just my squirrels giving each other +1/1.

2/2 Frillsby 2018/02/13(Tue)16:36 No. 867210 ID: bfb318
File 151856859768.png - (76.42KB , 800x800 , 349.png )

Each one of my squirrels are giving his flyer +1/1. Specifically because of the card I played.

"I swing in for 6 million and... 13, I think." says Villi.

I look at my cards. Even if I didn't tap out all my creatures, I have nothing to block flying. I have no mana left anyway. My options...

A) Concede
B) Bluff him into not attacking

This is the best way it could have gone down.

Just start slowly sliding under the table so you can scrub some dishes.

let the goat win A

>>867210
A. Cmon you knew this could happen. You're teaching him how to be a good Magic player! And sucking his dick too.

>>867210
You have to appropriately playact taking 6 million and 13 damage, of course.

A. Honestly, for someone who's unfamiliar with magic that's a pretty damn clever play.

>act surprised at your comeuppance
>Be sure to continue the card game cartoon villain act appropriately.

Quietly wimper, 'my hubrisss!'

>>867210
A

Become the villain in a card game cartoon at the moment he realizes the hero has played the exact card needed to beat you.

>>867210
concede. he had "friends" screwing him over in cards for most of his childhood.

Just realize that he might not have caught your innuendo earlier and expects you to help him clean the bakery's dishes.

>>867210

Looks like we're scrubbing some dishes after all ...

>>867210
You have abused the power of Squirrels. It is time to admit defeat.

Your goat bullying brought this fate upon you, time to admit defeat! Plus, he already declared attacks, you deeeaaad, boi

>>867210
A. You lose. Now suck his dick.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH get dunked on!

Be gratuitous in defeat, congratulate goat non sarcastically. For one who has never played he fucking good maybe he should've played this instead of pokemon.

"Niiiiiiiiiiiiiice!" Now go scrub some dishes.

A, you lost fair and square. Own it, make it your own and ham it.

Alright get out the dishes so i can get scrubbin’

"It's bullshit! But it's legal bullshit." He won fair and square.

1/2 Frillsby 2018/02/17(Sat)14:15 No. 868239 ID: bfb318
File 151890571093.png - (153.00KB , 800x800 , 350.png )

"Ahhhhh.......... I take 6 million and 13 damage right in my hubris."
"Get ready to get fucked, goat!" says Khivat, who's still working on Yams.
"I have dishes to scrub, right now."
"Oh, yeah, here..." Villi guides me up and starts guiding me to the back room. I guess it might be bad for business if Villi has his dick sucked in plain view where people on the street can see. Or good for business? I don't know, but it's his call.

2/2 Frillsby 2018/02/17(Sat)14:15 No. 868240 ID: bfb318
File 151890573085.png - (97.37KB , 800x800 , 351.png )

"There's a lot of dishes, you don't have to do all of them if you don't want!"

Somehow I'm not surprised that he's completely forgotten the innuendo behind scrubbing dishes.

>>868240
"take off your pants Villi."

>>868240
Just suck his dick.

Scrub some dishes, then scrub some dishes.

wash the dishes

You know scrub some dishes was innuendo, right? Actual dishes are fine if you don't want to though.

Judging by that blush I think he damn well remembers but I also thing he would prefer having you help him clean up.
Maybe do both if you're up for it?

Pull out goat dick and get scrubbing.

>>868240
>Somehow I'm not surprised that he's completely forgotten the innuendo behind scrubbing dishes.
Not according to that blush on his face! He knows exactly what you were talking about earlier!

He probably would just prefer you scrub some actual dishes instead because he’s not in the mood to do the dish scrubbing you were talking about.

Might as well help him out and start cleaning those dishes. And then next time the loser has to “scrub dishes”, there will be only 1 meaning to the phrase!

"Villi, why do you think I would have made a bet with you to do something you would have had to do anyway for your job? What gain do you think I could have been aiming to make for myself. Please consider what I might have been thinking when I made that bet."

"I mean I lost so it's up to you but I would like you to be fully aware of all the options."

Nope, that'll take way too long, and there's magic to get back to! Time for some under-the-apron shenanigans

Y-you know that i meant i’d suck your dick right? Or is this some fantasy of yours where you do me while i do dishes?

Don't go too fast! Just cup his pants and say all you want to scrub is right there.

>>868240
He's probably hedging his bets. Ask him if he'd prefer dish washing instead of dick sucking. There *are* an awful lot of dishes here.

Impress him by sucking his dick while washing dishes. Hard to coordinate, but possibly doable. Just grab some basins and wash the dishes on the ground by reaching around him or between his legs. That, or kneel on the counter and suck his dick while reaching to the side to wash those dishes.

Scrub his dishes while you scrub his dish.

>>868278
>>868303
This sounds like a recipe for disaster.

>>868260
This sounds good, this way you know what the goat really wants.

>>868240

Point right at his goaty junk like, "I meant that I've got to scrub that dish" while giving him the bedroom eyes.

>>868240
You sure you don't want me to wear a collar and leash while doing this?

1/3 Frillsby 2018/02/20(Tue)13:24 No. 868974 ID: bfb318
File 151916189016.png - (102.56KB , 800x800 , 352.png )

I give him the look. The look of half disbelief, half getting him to think about the current situation.

His eyes light up.

"Ohhh. Thaaat kind of dish."
"Yes. So unless you had some kind of fantasy about scrubbing dishes while scrubbing dishes..."
"That's - uh, not a fantasy - but that's a good idea!"

2/3 Frillsby 2018/02/20(Tue)13:24 No. 868975 ID: bfb318
File 151916189702.png - (170.47KB , 800x800 , 353.png )

I pull his pants down. He scrubs his literal dishes while I scrub his figurative dish.

We can't spend too long though - there's cards to sort.

3/3 Frillsby 2018/02/20(Tue)13:25 No. 868976 ID: bfb318
File 151916194461.png - (152.50KB , 800x800 , 354.png )

Once we're washed up and get back, Khivat is waiting and Yams is about to start sorting. Gallsby is making his own deck.

"There you are, Villi! Are you ready?" asks Khivat.
"Y-yeah!"

>"Pssst." Gallsby whispers to me. "I saw both Villi's deck and Khivat, and Khivat's deck is deffo gonna win. I'm making a deck to counter hers. You wanna pilot it?"

>>868976
Naw, let's just make a new deck.

What a good loser you are Frillsby! Taking it like a champ!
Let's make a new deck. But let's make it REALLY tryhard this time.

Anything we can do to give the goat an edge?

Gallsby wants to play by proxy! Don't let your buddy down.

>>868976
play for Gallsby.

1/3 Frillsby 2018/02/21(Wed)14:07 No. 869295 ID: bfb318
File 151925082249.png - (152.66KB , 800x800 , 355.png )

>Anything we can do to give the goat an edge?
Ehhh. Even in a casual format like this, we shouldn't be coaching Villi mid-game.

"I'm split, Gallsby. My conscience is split right in half about piloting your deck."
>"Then how about I pilot this one, but I help you make a good, tryhard anti-Khivat deck?"
"Hm... alright. Maybe more on the tryhard than the anti-Khivat."

Khivat and Villi take a long time fighting. During this, I sleeve up Gallsby's deck while giving him basic ideas about what kind of deck I want my new one to be. I'm thinking aggro, as Khivat's deck seems to get going harder later on, and aside from that, aggro can be good just in general.

I look over at some point and see they're done.

"Alright, Gallsby, they're done. Good luck."
>"Don't need it! This deck is allll skillll."

2/3 Frillsby 2018/02/21(Wed)14:07 No. 869296 ID: bfb318
File 151925084088.png - (190.26KB , 1000x800 , 356.png )

Khivat comes to sort.

....

"Wait a seco-"
"This game's some fuckin' bullshit Frillsby. I drew nothing but lands! I couldn't do anything!"

Which means Gallsby is over there fighting Villi with an anti-Khivat deck.

"Help me take out Villi."
"I think we're about past the daily limit of bullying the goat."
"He's moving the daily limit up! He's acting all smug about this, he's got to lose!"
"Really? Villi, smug?"

3/3 Frillsby 2018/02/21(Wed)14:07 No. 869298 ID: bfb318
File 151925086197.png - (114.98KB , 800x800 , 357.png )

"Look at that fucking face and tell me that's not the smuggest goddamn face in town."

That’s not the smuggest goddamn face in town.
In fact, it almost looks like he’s genuinely having fun.

>>869298
"Your right he needs to be stopped." proceed to let Villi win all ht games

I would say Gallsby is the smuggest face but that's not fair because he has resting smugface, though it's half mixed with resting sassface. I think there's a combination of those. Smarm? Smarmy is like a mix of smug and sassy, right? Smarmface.

Anyway Villi has some tragic cardgame memories he needs a good time to not turn him off card games forever. If you turn him off card games then the Heart of the Cards will lay down its curse and the topdecking gods shall forsake you.

>>869298

That's the face of a pokemon scrub learning to play a real nerd's game.

And loving every minute of it.

But mostly getting some dishes done.

That is the face of joy, and hope. I haven't seen a face like that in him since we met him. Gallsby probably has, but not me. SO pure, SO good, like his bread. We might never get a chance to see him so happy... i might be exagerating but still, i can't do it.

Nah, it just looks like he's having fun. Anyway, he'll likely lose when the Mayor and her Sister join in later, well, we'll all likely lose to the Mayor's Sister, but that's beside the point.

"I think you've gotten me confused with a member of the fun police."

Huh Villi stayed awake during the brush scrubbing I guess he got some real sleep.

>Ehhh. Even in a casual format like this, we shouldn't be coaching Villi mid-game.
I was thinking more doing anything quick to his deck rather than coaching him, but okay.

>>869298
He looks more joyously confused than smug.

And nah, we shouldn't stop him. We should build him up, so we have a secret goat weapon to use against the Mayor's sister when she shows up.

>>869298
So smug.

no bully the billy

That's less smug and more happy that hes found a hobby he's both good at and enjoys.
Do want to destroy that happiness?! YOU MONSTER!!!

Frillsby 2018/02/22(Thu)15:10 No. 869518 ID: bfb318
File 151934103389.png - (139.58KB , 800x800 , 358.png )

"The smug one is Gallsby, and that's because he's got a resting smug face. What Villi has, there, is the face of having honest fun."
"It's terrible."
"Even if it was terrible, I'm not the fun police. I'm not destroying that happiness."
"Whatever, I'll fuck him up with my next deck. I just got an idea, and it'll have no problem with drawing enough lands."

I consider my own options, but I still overlook what Khivat's making. It's a mistake. She glares at me as I look, but the reason I've made a mistake is that the deck she's making is so disgusting, so repulsive, that I feel I need to wash my eyes out. That set of cards should never have been part of the pile.

Then again, I've found a lot of disgusting cards in here. I focus on less disgust and more just good aggro, but looking things over, I'm lacking confidence in this deck. It feels like there's a lot missing, even though there's good cards.

Good cards that Villi should have put into his own deck, honestly, even though he's unstoppable. That just gives me another idea. I can build up Villi to be our secret weapon against the Mayor's sister. We just have to make up a rule that if Villi beats everyone else once, he can modify his deck, and he can put these good creature cards into his deck.

>it'll have no problem with drawing enough lands
No land gimmick deck? A deck so small you draw all your cards on the first time? An all land deck where the land doubles as monsters and spells?

>I'm lacking confidence in this deck. It feels like there's a lot missing
Then maybe you need to build a deck focused on something other than good aggro.

>I can build up Villi to be our secret weapon
Yes good

If the mayor's sister loses to what is essentially a novice, do you think it'll go down well?
Also should you guys really be using banned cards?

>>869544
Yes and yes, read the thread

Let's help Villi take on the Mayor's sister.

Secret weapon Villi plan is go!

1/6 Frillsby 2018/02/25(Sun)21:24 No. 870182 ID: bfb318
File 151962264462.png - (169.80KB , 800x800 , 359.png )

>Should you guys really be using banned cards?
I doubt we'll be using them in the long term, but just for this sorting-draft format, it's fine to have this nonsense.

Nonsense like Khivat's non-land gimmick deck. By drawing something with a full hand, Khivat has to discard to hand size. By doing so, she sends a card to the graveyard that has abilities involving being in the graveyard.

>Is it fine if Mayor's sister loses to a novice?
If it isn't, I'm a cop. I don't think she'll take it that badly, though. She'll have a handicap anyway. By the time she comes to look at the sorting pile, most of the obscenely broken cards will already be taken.

I'm already running into that issue here. My aggro deck may not even be thaaaat bad, it's just being compared to the decks that had the full card list to choose from. Still, I'll help Villi build his deck.

"How's your game going, Gallsby?"
>"Not great!"
"If Villi wins against all of us, he should get a prize. Like filling his deck with better cards."
"W-wouldn't that make it so I get an even better deck?" asks Villi.
"Well you shouldn't be penalized for winning, I'll tell you that."

I put some good cards for Villi to the side and build a mid-game friendly deck.

Gallsby loses. Yams plays Villi next. They make casual gameplay mistakes understandable for people who are new to the game, so I watch over them to make sure they aren't making illegal board states.

They apologize for slight infractions more times than they attack with their creatures.

2/6 Frillsby 2018/02/25(Sun)21:24 No. 870183 ID: bfb318
File 151962266070.png - (120.48KB , 800x800 , 360.png )

Yams puts up a fight, but between Villi having any amount of prior card experience, and just having a good deck, Yams is sent back to the sorting pile.

"You sure it's okay to get good cards? Won't I just keep on winning?" Villi says, as I show him his prize cards.
"If you're worried about that, the Mayor's sister is supposed to be good. She'll be here in awhile. Just consider yourself prepping for her."

There's a 'ding' at the door, and Villi's ears flap up to see what customer is here.

3/6 Frillsby 2018/02/25(Sun)21:24 No. 870184 ID: bfb318
File 151962268316.png - (204.09KB , 800x800 , 361.png )

It's Mayor's sister.

>"Hey, I heard some dorks were getting into the best pastime!" She sounds, and looks, like she just ran a long distance in short time. "How you guys learning?"

4/6 Frillsby 2018/02/25(Sun)21:25 No. 870185 ID: bfb318
File 151962270146.png - (203.87KB , 1000x800 , 362.png )

She looks over to Gallsby's and Khivat's game and makes a look of disgust.

>"Those unsorted cards?"
>"We're in the middle of a game!" says Gallsby.
>"Oh god that's a board state?"
>"Sister, the promise." says Mayor.
>"Yeah yeah. Still, 90 degrees, come on man."
>"I know what's tapped in my head!"

5/6 Frillsby 2018/02/25(Sun)21:25 No. 870187 ID: bfb318
File 151962273740.png - (166.52KB , 800x800 , 363.png )

Mayor's sister looks like she's trying to find zen, with a struggle.

>"Villi, could you bring us some food? It doesn't matter what, sell whatever you'd like to sell." says the Mayor.
"Okay, then if you don't mind, I'd like to test out a new recipe."
>"That sounds excelle - "

Mayor looks over at the pile of unsorted cards.

>"Frillsby what is that giant pile of cards?"
"That's the unsorted pile."

6/6 Frillsby 2018/02/25(Sun)21:25 No. 870188 ID: bfb318
File 151962274361.png - (129.12KB , 800x800 , 364.png )

>"C... can I go ahead and sort it?"

>>870188
You want to? Yes, go ahead, by all means.
Gallsby rotate your cards. Ask Khivat for help if you have to.

>>870188
Yes, sure. We've honestly been fighting games against one another with cherry-picked cards and forcing the loser to help sort.

>>870188
Oh boy, I think the mayor is OCD or something and is gonna attack that pile.

Be out guest.

>>870185
Cut him some slack, Mayor's sister, he has literal monster hands. We're lucky he can move the cards at all.

Ask if she has a name or if she's just "Mayor Sister" too. Actually, nevermind, don't ask, just assume she is despite any evidence to the contrary.

>>870187
>>870188
Wait, Mayor wants to sort the pile?! I thought her sister would’ve asked to sort it!

There should probably be some introductions, we can't keep calling her "Mayor's sister". But also, yes Mayor can sort the cards, maybe sis can help her while crafting her Expert Deck.

Fine by me.

Are you kidding? This whole get together was actually a secret plot to get everybody else to help me sort my cards!
If you want to do it yourself then go ahead.

>>870259
Oh and also, gallsby, rotate your cards. She’s looking at the card pile like it wronged her whole family and i’m worried she might start looking at you like that.

1/2 Frillsby 2018/02/26(Mon)15:07 No. 870340 ID: bfb318
File 151968642548.png - (151.75KB , 800x800 , 365.png )

"This whole draft system we came up with was to sort cards. Be my guest." I tell Mayor, who may have some sort of OCD about this kind of thing. Her sister, starts looking at the card pile too while I fill her in on what we're doing, although I still see her occasionally shoot a glance over at Gallsby and his partially rotated cards.

"So, Mayor's sister - "
>"Haha I have a name you know, it's 'Seeoh'."
"'Seeoh'?"
>"Yeah, it's spelled C-E-O. Ceo."
"Nice to meet you, Ceo." says Villi, passing out some experimental pastries and coffee, which both sisters take and chug. "I'm Villi."
>"Same. You must be Frillsby." Ceo says back to me.
"Yes, and that's Gallsby, Khivat, and Yams." I gesture to each one. "Gallsby's got the monster hands, so give him a break. It's a small miracle that he can even move the cards!"
>"I can do just fine with monster hands!" Gallsby calls out, again.
"... then rotate your cards!"

He starts spinning them in place.

2/2 Frillsby 2018/02/26(Mon)15:07 No. 870341 ID: bfb318
File 151968643357.png - (126.18KB , 800x800 , 366.png )

Ceo turns her back to Gallsby to look at some cards.

>"Why're there banned cards in here, huh?" she asks.
"Casual format. Any card in the pile is okay, as this whole system was a ruse to get people to sort cards."
>"Don't let her use the good cards!" Gallsby calls out to us. "Handicap the expert!"

You got to use earthcraft for the infinite squirrels combo, it's only fair you let her use banned cards. (Plus I want to see what other crazy combos there are.)

>>870341
Well you could switch over to something more legit to keep the playing field even, yeah.

>>870341
Give her One With Nothing.

Lets let her have at least one good deck, mostly to see what bullshit she can manage with the remaining cards.
Besides, luck is apparently more important than skill if villi was able to beat infinite squirrels.

>>870340
So both sisters changed their names to the names of their occupation? Ask what Ceo she's the CEO of?

And ask if they changed their last names as well?

>>870341
>"Don't let her use the good cards!" Gallsby calls out to us. "Handicap the expert!"
“She can handicap herself if she wants to, I’m not going to force a handicap on her!”

>"Don't let her use the good cards!" Gallsby calls out to us. "Handicap the expert!"
Can't, that would require another expert to decide which cards were too good for experts.

Also I already said I'm not the fun police.

>>870356
One with Nothing, and Left Pineapple

1/2 Frillsby 2018/02/27(Tue)13:28 No. 870531 ID: bfb318
File 151976690304.png - (192.58KB , 800x800 , 367.png )

"She doesn't have to take a handicap if she doesn't want to. Maybe she can make use of this card that not even Khivat wanted."

I hold it One With Nothing to Ceo. One mana cost to discard one's hand. One generally wants to do things, so one generally wants cards in hand, not a card that removes all other cards in hand.

>"Gonna serve that to me with nothing pizza left pineapple?"
"You heard about that, huh."
>"As long as I don't need to play that card as soon as it enters my hand, I'll see what I can do with this thing."
"Okay. By the way, what are you the CEO of?"
>"Violet Enterprises."

I do recognize the name, though can't place where I heard of it from. It may have just involved itself in some businesses around town.

"Violet?"
>"That's our last name. Mayor Violet, Ceo Violet."

She looks like she's trying to focus on deck building, now, so I leave her to it.

2/2 Frillsby 2018/02/27(Tue)13:28 No. 870532 ID: bfb318
File 151976691607.png - (133.29KB , 800x800 , 368.png )

I notice that Villi is off to the side, shakily pouring himself some coffee while looking at Ceo.

Wander over and quietly question the goat. Did your blowjob negate enough of his donut fueled sleep magic and he is about to crash?

Or is he nervous about the CEO lady for reason?

>>870532
Goat just got his dishes scrubbed and he's still crushing that bad in just one look? Geeze.

You should probably go stop him pouring before he overfill the mug and dumps hot coffee all over himself.

>>870532
You should probably stop him from pouring before the cup overflows and he burns his hand with hot coffee!

Don't let the goat stare! Or pour hot coffee on his freshly scrubbed dish! Though it's not unwarranted, ladies might not be your type but she's a good one!

What's up, Villi?

>>870532
I think he's in love.

Go behind him and ask: "Liking what you see, goat boy?"

Yes Villi it is a girl. With Boobs. Very nice Boobs. Butt no matter how nice the Boobs it is impolite to stare. No Gallsby that is not a challenge, invitation or something that needs to be changed.

>>870532

Gently nudge him and whisper, "Yeah, the resemblance is uncanny. Just remember -- the sleepy one is Mayor. You'll do fine and I'm sure Ceo won't try to stuff you into a locker or anything if you mix them up."

Because, you know ... let him admit it on his own.

>>870532

Suggest that if he likes what he sees so much, why not play with the rule of everytime damage is took, an article of clothing must be removed.


So basically strip poker, but with MTG.

Frillsby 2018/02/28(Wed)13:40 No. 870734 ID: bfb318
File 151985404875.png - (139.43KB , 800x800 , 369.png )

I walk over to Villi. He barely notices me walk up, but at least he stops pouring coffee in time.

"Just got your dishes scrubbed and already looking elsewhere, huh?"
"Wh - er!"
"It's too early to start thinking of strip poker." I thought I said that quietly, but Ceo's ears perked just slightly. So did Gallsby's, for that matter.
"Oh hahaha I really did look like I was staring wasn't I but it wasn't on purpose I swear! I mean - I mean it's not like that! I mean she doesn't look bad but I'm just worried!" Says Villi, as Ceo's ears swivel over at us even while she's sifting through cards.
"About?"
"I kinda get the impression there's a lot of pressure on me to beat her! I've got performance nerves now! I think I've just gotten real lucky and against a real player I'm just going to be making all kinds of mistakes."

"Oh come on now Villi, we here to have some fun! ANY kind of fun, you might have allready noticed. You shouldn't worry about it. I mean, yeah she is going to go no-mercy on you, but we have it the same way. Besides, i think she might actually be intrested as well, you know? I think you her attention."

>>870734
No pressure, goat. We're playing for fun. Worst case is you get beat and someone gets to be smug about it.

>>870734

Wait, are we talking about his dick or his deck because the difference isn't as subtle as just one letter ...?

>>870734
hey Ceo what do you think of our resident goat baker?

>>870734

A'ight, teach him the ropes of flirting and the like.

Step 1: Act confident, and make yourself smell and look nice.

Step 2: complement target, make em feel good about themselves.

Step 3: Act like you aren't very interested in what's going on, even if your tail is on fire, cuz you're so cool.

Step 4: Make her impressed in you, tell them about your accomplishments and don't be afraid to fib.

Step 5: If this fails, get her a bit drunk, and try again from step 2.

Step 6: if step 5 fails, you're SOL.

60% of the time, it works every time.

Villi, we’re all aware you’ve been winning through unfathomable luck, no one is going to be disappointed in you if you lose. We will however be impressed if you actually pull off a win.

>>870734
What? No, there’s no pressure for you to beat her. We’re all here just to have fun!

For real; everyone is here to sort cards, have fun and be friends. The pressure should be minimal at most, silly goat.

Yeah ok Villi, you'll be fine, the worse thing that MIGHT happen is you get her pregnant tonight ok. She might want to min max your sperm into the card game messaiah, so don't play TOO well.

>>870818
I was gonna vote for defusing the situation but we need to channel our inner Gallsby for a second and say this

Villi I am a real player! I may be rusty but I remind you that all these cards are mine, and you beat me, you beat me when I was being cheap ever.
You'll do fine and even if you don't win there's no penalty for losing.

Should've given her One with Nutting instead

Frillsby 2018/03/01(Thu)15:35 No. 870995 ID: bfb318
File 151994731430.png - (133.65KB , 800x800 , 370.png )

"Am I not a real player, Villi?"
"Erk - I mean - no that - I mean yes you are, but that's what I mean! I got lucky and now expectations are huuuge!"
"No one's going to be disappointed or penalize you for losing. Worst case scenario is you get her pregnant."
"Wh-what?!"
"Worst case, Villi, worst case! That probably won't happen. She might just not have mercy on you, then you lose, and we move on with our lives."
"Speeeaking of that, it's, um, I don't know if I have the time! Dinner rush is going to start in a little while, and I can't play while serving customers! Oh, uh, you can all move upstairs though to keep playing."
>"Hey! Don't back out on me, Villi! I'll wait after dinner to fight you!" Ceo calls out from across the dining area.
"I think it's just your nerves talking. Unless you also were trying to find a way to flirt with her?"
"N-no, I wouldn't!"
>"Something wrong with me?" she asks.
"Nooooo!"
"Then it's just a game of magic!"
"Y-yeahhhhh?"

I can't tell if Villi has a thing for Ceo or not and just doesn't want to admit it. I'm curious as hell. Finding out means further investigation and probing. That, or I mind my own business.

Probe the goat deep and hard. We need him fucking a CEO before the end of the night if that is in the cards.

Probe him deep. How deep? About as deep as the marianas trench.

If he still doesn't let up, pay him 20 bucks. Always works when i try to get info.

Frillsby, you are a cop, snooping in other persons business, is YOUR business. The answer for Villi getting in Ceo's pants, if he is indeed interested in that perticular goal, is in the game of magic. We need to make Villi really good at the game, either for him beating Ceo, or at least to be close enough to impres her.

Doesn't Villi run a bakery/donut shop? Is there typically a dinner rush for these kinds of shops? Or am I misremembering?

Would it be a good idea to ask Gallsby for help?
No, wait, let me re-frace that: Should ask Gallsby for help, or we do this on our own?

I vote you tug the goat's pants down. Quickest way to see how he's feeling to CEO currently.

>>870995
Tell Villi to stop spilling his coffee.

>>871016
That sound like something Gallsby would do. I don't oppose tho.

The donuts and so on are all made already, right? Someone can cover for him. Help him set up anything needed to make that easier, and while you have him pulled away to do that you can interrogate him.

The quota for goat bullying has already been achieved, let’s not push it too far. For now though let’s just pester mayor or ceo.

>Finding out means further investigation and probing.
Or you just conspire to get them together and see what happens. We shall test it!

>I don't know if I have the time! Dinner rush is going to start in a little while, and I can't play while serving customers!
If the shop gets too busy we can adjust the game schedule to give Villi a break, or someone(s) else can help in the shop if he's busy in a game.

>>871023

Okay, yeah, forget what i said, do this. But make sure he has a 'carrot' in his pocket first.

But make it look like an accident.

>>871016
Pulling his pants down is considered sexual assault and Frillsby will have to arrest himself!

Or Mayor will fire Frisllby and then tell Gallsby to arrest Frillsby!

>>871046
Not if it is an accident! That is why i asked about asking Gallsby for help, he is good with those things. Hell, he might actually end up hurting Villi a little and make it more credible.

>>871049
A crime is still a crime, even when you plan to make it look like an accident. And Frillsby would rather arrest himself than commit a crime.

Please don't bully the goat.

Probe away.

Frillsby 2018/03/02(Fri)14:52 No. 871205 ID: bfb318
File 152003112736.png - (110.47KB , 800x800 , 371.png )

I don't think probing will count as bullying.

>Pants the goat
This does count.

Villi's been in and out already to bake pastries. I don't know what a dinner rush is like in a bigger town, but in Dorb, there's a handful of people who want to stop by here, based on the first time we met Villi.

"Stop spilling coffee, Villi." I lower my voice as I begin the probe.
"S-sorry!"
"You don't have to play if you don't want to, but we'd like to see it. Ceo's already said she's looking forward to it."
"Y-yeah, but what if she just likes newbie crushing?"
"Then she'll just go elsewhere to crush newbies. She may not be around town again, this might only be an occasional thing."
"O-oh, really? Ah, um... well, I should play then, if she came all this way!"
"Again, no one's making you. Someone else could play against her if you'd prefer."
"No, no! I think I'd like to play her myself, now that I think about it."

>>871204
Cool. If the customers become a problem, we can give you a hand.

That's the spirit! We'll help you with the shop if you want - since you're nice enough to help me with the sorting and providing a venue and all.

>This does count.

Damn.


Well, give him this advice for playing against CEO: Believe in the Heart of The Cards.

So just topdeck.

Alright then, we'll be around if you need any help.

Frillsby 2018/03/03(Sat)11:25 No. 871418 ID: bfb318
File 152010514468.png - (189.06KB , 800x800 , 372.png )

"Right. Then we'll help with the shop if you want."
"Okay! Maybe some help with the register... but it should be okay!"
"Believe in the heart of the cards."
"I've tried with Yugioh..."

I'm still not sure if Villi has a thing for Ceo. It's not obvious yet. I'll let him calm down while I pull Ceo away to talk at the side of the building.

"Hey Ceo. What do you think of the Villi?"
>"Cute. I don't know if he's just shy, or if he has no idea how to interact with people!"
"Some of both, definitely the former."
>"He didn't send you over to talk to me for him, did he?"
"Nope. But if I encourage Villi to go after you, I wanted to make sure I wasn't encouraging him to go on a doomed mission."
>"Eheheheh."
"Was it that funny?"
>"No no, I was just thinking that I came here for magics, not dates, but they're not mutually exclusive. A candlelit dinner table except with magic. Best idea or awful terrible idea?"

Best idea for sure. Game night in a donut shop with a cute nervous goat? Can't go wrong there.

"Well, that depens on you and him really. In the heat of the moment, on you either want to won the kid goat, or you want to win the game. Or even both. Still, the main idea is for all of us to have fun, in what ever way we want cia magic or social interaction, so just don't think much about it. My advice, get the goat, it's really funny to tease him. Hell, he actually seems to be really ager to play with you."

Hella best idea, as long as she's not gonna tilt out! He's still a newbie, after all.

>Best idea or awful terrible idea?
The best terrible awful idea.

Let's do it.

Both. I love it.

Well, to quote Shia Labeouf, "DO IT. JUST DO IT!"

Sounds like it could be a fun time! Ask Villi and see if he's got any candles? If you have any card mats you could break those out and use them in place of the fancy table clothes too.

Frillsby 2018/03/05(Mon)14:36 No. 871791 ID: bfb318
File 152028936279.png - (128.84KB , 800x800 , 373.png )

"Best awful terrible idea."
>"Good!"
"Are you going to try to win him over, or just destroy him as hard as you can in magic?"
>"Destruction!"

...

>"Okay maybe I'll let him actually play a little bit per turn instead of countering all his stuff, but if the date goes bad because I'm not letting him win, then it wasn't a date meant to go well."
"Alright. Let me see if Villi has any candles."
>"Noonono. It's gotta be a surprise!"
"Why?"
>"Because if he realizes he's been put on a date, that boy's going to be a nervous wreck all day. Just go to the grocery store and get a cheap pack. Oh, and while you're at it, go get some other date material. I don't know what, I never did real dates a whole lot."
"We can use magic play mats instead of tablecloth."
>"Yes perfect."

>>871791
Ok so cologne, perfume, and condoms. If you're NOT buying food, renting/buying a movie, or getting your date some flowers thats... about it. I mean, most shopping trips are about supplies for the date itself and we HAVE all the magic cards we need here, unless we want to buy more.

Sweet. Now we're shipping people.

>>871792

And Lube, do not forget lube. And we should see if we can get someone to play the role of fancy waiter.

Frillsby 2018/03/05(Mon)16:12 No. 871805 ID: bfb318
File 152029513576.png - (125.99KB , 800x800 , 374.png )

I think Ceo is already wearing light perfume, so I leave to go to a shop to get cologne for Villi. Ceo will just tell the others I'm out on an errand. Flowers for Villi to give to Ceo may be appropriate, if not for me buying them for him to give to Ceo. It's still an option.

I'll get condoms too. And lube, sure.

Food may be nice. Ceo probably wouldn't mind pastries as the dinner, but it wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary for Villi.

So...

Probably: Cologne, condoms, lube

Maybe: Flowers, movie rental, date food. Also a fancy waiter.

Probably not?: More magic cards

And anything else I can think of.

Just have Gallsby or Yams be the fancy waiter.

Buy some Benadryl to calm the goat down so he doesn't spill all his spaghetti. Or just buy a mop to clean the spaghetti.

>>871805
Fancy table cloth. Fancy napkins (or lame napkins, for magic).

Can probably rob the bakery for dessert.

Handcuffs.

>>871805
>Also a fancy waiter
Why don’t you be the fancy waiter? That way you can make sure nobody messes with Ceo and Villi on their date.

>>871815

Well if we're getting that kinky, the get a blind fold, a gag, and maybe a cucumber.

If we REALLY want to be kinky lets get a human suit

Some drink that will go well with the food, depending on what the meal ends up being and what you think Ceo and Villi likes.

Remember, this is going to be a stealth date! Villi needs to believe he's in a perfectly normal card game match, until finally - ha ha! You were on a date the whole time!

So, apart from the probablies (you'll need to get that cologne on him somehow that doesn't make him suspect), get the food and a movie. You can have the movie on "in the background". The food will need to be something nice enough for a date but that can be disguised as snacks. Hmm... do you have a fondue pot?

See if you can get Gallsby to take hats from people in a dignified manner and sophisticated manner.

Some nice wine perhaps?
Ice cream and maybe strawberries or cherries.

>>871873
Wouldn't he shred them with his claws?

1/2 Frillsby 2018/03/08(Thu)14:16 No. 872387 ID: bfb318
File 152054741365.png - (128.50KB , 800x800 , 375.png )

>Benadryl
Drugging the goat might undermine the date.

>See if you can get Gallsby to take hats from people in a dignified manner and sophisticated manner.
With my mind's eye, I can already see that I cannot. My mind's eye can't comprehend why I'd do it though.

>Handcuffs, blind fold, gag, cucumber
This store is way too tame to sell most of this stuff.

Blindfolds, though, have a section in the party goods.

I also get some decent wine, along with some condoms, lube, flowers just in case, and a movie rental. I also throw in some fancy napkins. The tablecloth is already magic playmats, which is actually awful and each playmat costs more than a tablecloth.... I get a tablecloth. And if needed, I'm sure Villi has a mop, to clean up all the spaghetti he may spill tonight.

A fancy waiter can be chosen later, whether it's me or Gall- Khi - Yams.

I go to the cash register.

The guy ringing me up doesn't say anything, but I can feel some over the counter judgement going on.