Previous Thread: https://tgchan.org/kusaba/quest/res/778045.html Unlike the previous thread, this one almost certainly will get NSFW. *** WELCOME CONTESTANTS TO THE TGCHAN BLIND DATE THREAD 2: ROGUE-LIKE ELECTRIC BOOGALOO! **** And here's your hostess, Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemaaaaaaaaaaaain Mooooooooooorigaaaaaaaan! Nem, with the most plastic voice she can muster: Thank-you disembodied narrator! Hi, I'm Nemain Morrigan, and this is BLIND DATE THREAD 2, blah blah BLAH blah BLAAAAAAAAAAH!! How many times MUST we repeat this! She sighs. She's beginning to wish Sami was as popular as she was so she could get a break. Taking a deep breath, she skips over to a darkened booth -- her sparkling new titanium shoes clip-clopping over the hard stage. Nem, in her more natural voice: All right spirits of TGChan, this is our new blind date game. You control the destiny of a randomly selected handsome young bachelor, as he must choose from one of three equally randomly selected but lovely young ladies! There's just one little catch -- just like how *you all* had fun giving my dates little quirks and sabotaging them, each of these three lovely ladies has something distinct about them. It could be very nice, or it could be very nasty, but you'll never know for sure until you're on the date. Just to make things even more interesting, each of the dates originate from a randomly selected TGChan Author's quest. Just like the Kerikronk, they might be a cheap knock-off of the original with mutated personalities and histories. And just like when I was the special date, you won't be able to see these ladies -- so be sure to ask lots of questions!
>>798380 Question for everyone: how many of your past partners have died?
>>798380 Aren't you at least going to introduce them? We introduced yours!
Here's your first roll at a contestant! You have 2 Re-Rolls remaining! We're using a system based on FIGHTING FANTASY game books, so your character is ruled by 3 basic attributes plus one special! SKILL dictates your ability to succeed at just about everything. STAMINA dictates your ability to endure and continue despite physical hardship. LUCK is a special catch all; you can test your luck any time for a more positive outcome when there is a situation of probability, but every time you do so you lose 1 Luck Point -- eventually, your luck will run out. AUTHOR is purely a stylistic choice for the protagonist; you will not need to worry about the racial, political or other elements of the author's quests. AUTHOR may be over-ridden with a JOHNNY BRAVO-LIKE HUMAN without any cost. ROLLED AUTHOR: SMIK SKILL: 7/12 STAMINA: 21/24 LUCK: 10/12 SPECIAL: Charisma - 20% chance a suggestion will work when a situation dictates otherwise. More details on body language and disposition when communicating with others. Hails from: Nem's Quest - North Gaelend. PLAYERS, do you wish to accept or re-roll?
>>798387 >>798384 Nem: Guys, you jumped the gun a little... we need to give you a body first.
>>798390 Looks like decent stats to me. Let's keep em. >>798391 Bodies are for squares, anyways.
>>798390 BORING!!!!!!!! RE-ROLL
Roll them dice!
REROLLS REMAINING: 1 AUTHOR: Lagotrope Skill: 9/12 Stamina: 19/24 Luck: 7/12 Special: LOVER - A successful skill roll incapacitates you lover during coitus. As in she just kinda lays there all dazed and breathless. KEEP OR RE-ROLL?
Looks like a winner to me.
Yawn. Reroll!
nah nah NAH, we gotta pay the troll toll to RE! ROLL! THAT! BOY'S! HOLE!
>>798396 Nope, re-roll. (no offense, Driblis)
>>798396 Worse stats, better profile, though. Keep?
>>798396 reroll
>>798396 Can we spend a luck point when re-rolling?
FINAL CHARACTER: EPSON Hailing from CHIGUI, Epson has: SKILL of 9/12 STAMINA of 16/24 LUCK of 11/12 SPecial: STRENGTH - does much higher melee damage, can carry more and perform feats of strength! Welcome to the show!
>>798411 Luck of 11/12 sounds great. Go for it.
>least interesting special so far Boo.
>>798412 Nem reminds you that you're out of re-rolls and don't have a choice in the matter. Nem: And now meet our first lovely lady! Hailing from a Lucid Quest called "The Island of Onigashima", she's a ninja tanuki with a passion for gardening and natural herbal remedies, please welcome Tankukuyata -- Taki to her friends! Nem pauses for a moment as she realizes something. Nem: Please save your questions until I've introduced EVERYONE, OK?
Nem: Our second contestant hails from an APPLES quest, "Prima's First Mission". She's a member of galactic law enforcement, describes herself as "Big Fun" with a bit of a kinky side, please welcome BETA!
(crossing fingers: Bika, Bika, Bika...)
>>798419 Nem: I'm sorry to disappoint you, but hailing from Brom's EnemyQuest, she's a repurposed war machine who now does complex high-level construction, please welcome VEGAS! Not to rub it in, but yes -- a Skut would have been possible. Sorry! There's a canned audience "Awwwwwwwww" sound effect that makes Nem roll her eyes and twitch an ear.
>tankuni >apples >floater So two dickgirls and a robot.
>>798421 I'm sure she can get an upgrade if we really need that, no need to discount her so early.
Nem: It's only fair to warn you that this dating game is slightly insane this time around. One of the dates will try to kill you at some point during the date. One of the dates is very nice and will want to please you. And one of the dates is a total wildcard. You won't be protected by Plot Armour and you and the dates may lie, although the nice one probably won't. If you think you're dating the assassin... feel free to either escape or defend yourself. The rules are if you get to your hotel room you're home free. I know that you spirits can't die, but... please be careful, OK? I hope you have fun, for what it's worth.
>>798426 > One of the dates will try to kill you at some point during the date. > One of the dates is very nice and will want to please you. These two are not mutually exclusive. Are those two different dates?
>>798421 Nem is not allowed to reveal too much but she can tell you that just because a character is from an Apples quest doesn't mean she'll 100% be a dick girl. There's random chance involved with all the dates.
>One of the dates will try to kill you at some point during the date. What if we're into that? ... Do we know why they want to kill us? General kill-happy? Is this a hit? Is it a personal grudge?
>>798427 The assassin may indeed go all the way with you and may not try to kill you until the very end. Or she might try to kill you in public. Hence why your character comes with Skill and Stamina scores. Of course, if your date isn't trying to kill you the skill and stamina scores are also useful outside of combat situations. The only consistent element of the Wildcard is that she is NOT an assassin. There may be other life-threatening elements involved or she could be perfectly safe, but she will not be personally trying to kill you. The "Nice" date is just that -- a nice date who will put out if you play your cards right. The "Nice" dates have their own set of quirks but none of them are dangerous.
>>798429 That's what asking questions is for. The Assassin will have her own reasons, which she may or may not be forthcoming with.
Nem: OK, EPSON -- it's time to start the game! Please post a question to one of our lovely ladies! You don't have to ask them all equally, but you DO have to ask each of them at least 3 questions. GO! 1. TAKI 2. BETA 3. VEGAS
>>798434 Vegas: What kind of experience do you have with the dating scene? Would this be a first date for you? What do you like to do for fun when you're not working? Beta: What's the weirdest crime you've ever had to stop? What do you like to do for fun when you're not working?
Dear everybody: are you planning murder?
Taki: What do you like to grow in your garden? What conditions do you develop remedies for?
>>798435 It's the reverse of the previous thread -- you're now in Nem's position and you have to ask questions to these three ladies to figure out which one will be the 'right choice'. Then you take ONE of the ladies on a date. If she's the assassin, she'll try to kill you at some point. The 'nice date' will try to get into your pants even if she doesn't do so aggressively. You can still blow the date by being rude or insensitive, it's just that if you do so to the assassin she'll be that more motivated to kill you. If you want to bail on your date, getting back to the safe haven of your hotel room might not be so straightforward; if you make it back without a hitch know you bailed on the 'nice date'.
>>798384 important
>>798436 >Vegas: What kind of experience do you have with the dating scene? Would this be a first date for you? What do you like to do for fun when you're not working? Vegas: Oh geez, I was afraid you were gonna start with that. Yes, this is my very, very first date for me ever. When I'm not working? I like to dance to soft jazz... well, float to soft jazz. You know what I mean. I also have taken up cooking! Since I'm not a great judge of how anything should taste I just follow recipes very carefully and then bring them in to work to see how people react. Not to brag, but I'm getting very good at making biscuits!
>>798444 Nothing wrong with that. "Biscuits" in which sense? The savory food or the sweet one?
>Beta: What's the weirdest crime you've ever had to stop? What do you like to do for fun when you're not working? Beta: Oh, hands-down it had to be this weird alien shape-shifter that thought it was hot stuff and ate a couple of kids. Y'know the type -- thinks its gonna take over the world and all that. You'd be surprised how fast they change their tune after one good thwack across the face with my forcestick. Slap-slap-slap! Then it had the nerve to try to eat me anyway, so I jammed my forcestick in it's mouth and gave it the full load of juice. Even the toughest perps don't stand long when they're being shocked from the inside! Heh heh... Too bad about the kids. You don't know how hard it is to look their parents in the eye and have to explain to them that they were eaten by some alien shape-shifter. Then you have to go class to class doing "What to do if you see a big weird glowing meteor land near by" and "Stay Alert, Stay Safe". If you ever come face to face with a creature that eats sentients, the safest thing to do is pretend you have a vore fetish. Creeps them right out and makes them lose their appetite. Then you slap them in the face with a forcestick. Off the job though? I like working out at the gym, doing yoga, and bird watching. And also I collect butterflies.
>>798445 Vegas means the savoury, salty, buttery kind.
>>798446 > If you ever come face to face with a creature that eats sentients, the safest thing to do is pretend you have a vore fetish. Creeps them right out and makes them lose their appetite. There's something really fishy about that advice.
>Taki: What do you like to grow in your garden? What conditions do you develop remedies for? Taki: Oh, a little of this, a little of that. Ninjas do a lot of gardening you know. Simple herbs -- although you have to be careful with say, mint because while it's useful it can take over. I like to collect rare plants too. Most of the conditions I deal with are muscle stiffness though. Common ailment for ninjas with the training we do.
>>798449 > although you have to be careful with say, mint because while it's useful it can take over Legit. > I like to collect rare plants too. What kinds of rare plants?
>What kinds of rare plants? Taki: Found this one on my last job. I don't know what it is but I call it "Fred". It seems to be a demonic variation of a jovibarbas plant. Fred likes to watch me garden and seems to help the solanaceae grow.
>>798444 What led you to start dating?
>>798446 Attempting to sound sincerely naive... A vore fetish? What does that mean, and how would you do that? Now you've got me worried about hungry aliens!
>What led you to start dating? Vegas: Ugh... I... I don't like to go too much into this but it was part of my original purpose. I got modified, but things didn't work out. Old habits die hard, right?
Sorry I'm late I was busy sending a clone to climb a tower dungeon! Okay, buff moron protagonist, didn't get a Bika, Apples is here, some other guy is here, one of the dates is a serial killer?! AWESOME! Question: Adventure Time is ending. How thoroughly crushed do you feel?
>A vore fetish? What does that mean, and how would you do that? Now you've got me worried about hungry aliens! Beta snorts: Well that's what made it my weirder case. The alien's defence? "Oh, they were INTO vore, they CONSENTED!". Which doesn't hold water anywhere. Oh wait, you don't know what a vore fetish is? Some people associate being swallowed with a sexual act. Homicidal, sentient-eating aliens are pretty rare because most of the civilized galaxy won't have anything to do with 'em, but even sentient-eating aliens think the idea of sexualizing devouring another intelligent creature is really freaking weird and they want no part of it. It's funny because a lot of the time they won't even eat someone who's into vore because despite the fact that they're basically murder-cannibals they don't want to be associated with the kind of murder-cannibals that get off sexually from it. Go figure.
Miss Tankukuyata, what hobbies, if any, you enjoy?
AUTHOR NOTE: The background colour change is only because the bright red was KILLING my eyes. >Miss Tankukuyata, what hobbies, if any, you enjoy? Taki: Gardening, like I said, but I guess it's only natural that I'm also an environmentalist. I feel its very important to protect the only home we'll ever have.
Nem: The questions have slowed down -- have you made a decision?
>Choose a date Beta talks even more than I do and Vegas seems bland. Taki has complex hobbies, a stable job, and is a killer who may or may not have a hit on our dopey protagonist. Taki, hands down.
Taki. ...agreeing with Kome is a weird feeling.
You have chosen TAKI to be your date! Taki will meet you at "Bernard's Bontinatical Dining" down town! It's a natural themed fine dining establishment with lots of fresh open air, natural indoor pond, a few games... and also a hookah. Taki plans to be there at 8PM. Will you: 1. Arrive early. 2. Arrive on time. 3. Arrive fashionably late.
Early. A little too early. Slightly paranoid early.
Technically, this is a potential murder we're walking into. We need options to address that, like: 4. Stand her up and hide. 5. Mail a bomb to the date in your place. Although I'm still gonna vote for 1, arrive early.
Your paranoia about dating a ninja causes you to arrive EARLY. As promised, there are many plants around as well as an outdoor chess board, dart board, pond and a hookah. The hookah is definitely of the more recreational variety from the smell of it. Bernard's Botanical Dining is a classy place and you can't help but feel your M FOR MANLY shirt is a bit under-dressed but what else shows off your incredibly powerful physique better that tight, revealing clothes? SUGGEST AN ACTION 1. What are you looking for? 2. Do you choose to TEST YOUR SKILL or TEST YOUR LUCK to find it?
>>798734 If at any point you return to your hotel room, the date is considered over and you are safe, which is why you are not allowed to bring any girls back to it with you. If you never leave the hotel, you are sure to be safe... but such cowardice counts as UTTER FAILURE and you'll be kicked off the show and forced to roll a new character anyway. You must at least MEET YOUR DATE before you can think about escape.
So you're telling me cowardice is a loophole around the reroll limit. :v Look at the plants, roll skill. The ninja might already be concealed as one.
>>798741 Cowardice isn't just a character re-roll but all the dates re-roll as well. In other words, it's not an option.
The dartboard might be a nice place to wait for our date. Let's test our skill there. Maybe we could impress her if she shows up and we're doing well. ...and if not, maybe she'd have some tips.
>>798741 YOUR SKILL CHECK SUCCEEDS! You're not quite sure how you missed her before, what with her bright, tight red dress and all. You tell yourself you only missed her because of her amazing ninja skills. Taki: Oooo, you came early and spotted me. Very clever. You know, smart men do tickle my fancy. You haven't dated a ninja before, have you? Her voice is smokey and alluring. Also you earned a heart! That must be good, right? You can: 1. Lie and say you have dated ninja before. 2. Tell the truth and say you're paranoid. 3. Tell part of the truth and say you just didn't want to be late. 4. ________? Regardless of your response, you're early and it means you'll have to kill some time before you can be seated. What do you suggest you do? A. Play darts. B. Play chess. C. Smoke the hookah. D. Dance. E. Make out. F. Have dinner at her place instead.
3. C. play it cool
>>798754 3A.
Taki just smirks when you say you didn't want to be late. She's totally down for killing time at the Hookah. Turns out the girl can't be a casual user either because not only does she seem completely unaffected but she blows smoke rings too! You on the other hand only suffer a slight SKILL PENALTY of -1, and lose 2 pts. Stamina smoking up. (Skill Mod: 8/9, Stamina now 14/16) Before you know it, it's 8PM. Taki: Well, our table's ready now and I'm certainly hungry, how about you handsome? You nod; you are indeed quite hungry. You and Taki are taken to a cozy table for two in the back by a lovely fountain and the pond. Taki: So what looks good to you? You glance down at the menu. This could be a chance to impress her, except you're not really very book smart and aren't quite sure what a classy ninja chick like her would like. You'll need to make an entree selection and a choice of wine. Do you: 1. Make a SKILL CHECK to pick out a suggestion? 2. Be honest and say you have no idea and ask the waiter to suggest something? 3. Let Taki order instead? 4. TEST YOUR LUCK and choose something at random? 5. Pick a MEAL and WINE from the menu manually?
>>798754 3: Tell the truth and say you wanted to show up early to make sure you could find her. And you're particularly impressed that she could manage to simultaneously stand out while being stealthy. A: play darts. But acknowledge ahead of time that you're not so much competing as watching her demonstrate her skills. (Afterwards, enjoy dinner.)
>>798761 Before deciding among those options, I'd like to see the menu selections.
>>798764 Bernard's has the following available tonight; cost is not included 'cause the show is paying for this. Select one dish for Taki and one for yourself, and then decide which basic bottle of wine you will order. The show will only pay for ONE BOTTLE so whatever wine you choose should either pair well with both, or you can opt to pay for a second bottle out of pocket. VEGAN DISHES -Walnut Tagliatelle Tagliatelle pasta tossed in a rich walnut and caper cream sauce. Served with wild mushroom and cashew mascarpone roulade. -Vegan Shepard's Pie Savoury tempeh and roasted vegetables topped with whipped butternut squash. Served with kale slaw and shiitake mushroom gravy. VEGETARIAN DISHES -Butternut Squash Ravioli Smothered w/ your choice of tomato & basil sauce or smooth four-cheese cream sauce -Wild Mushroom Crêpe With white wine sauce & asiago cheese; served w/ a side salad SEAFOOD -Seafood Crêpe Shrimp, scallops & crab served w/ a light white wine cream sauce topped w/ asiago cheese -Salmon Caesar Salad Our caesar topped w/ fresh baked salmon MEAT -Beef Tenderloin Gremolata Fresh herb and pistachio gremolata-roasted new potatoes -Stuffed Supreme of Chicken with Marsala Cream Choice of spinach and brie-served with organic quinoa or sour cherry, spicy chorizo and arugula with garlic polenta cake
>>798768 She said she's an environmentalist, and wants to protect the planet. Order one of the vegan dishes (I'd suggest the Walnut Tagliatelle), and ask her if she'd like to order the other and you could share both. However, tell her that she's welcome to order whatever she likes instead. For wine, a Pinot Noir traditionally goes well with mushroom dishes. But ask the waiter for a specific recommendation, and listen for any preferences Taki suggests.
Walnut Tagliatelle for the lady, Salmon Caesar Salad for yourself. Both should pair well with a Pinot Grigio.
>>798771 (Pinot Noir is also acceptable with salmon. I suggested Pinot Grigio due to delicious sounding the creamy pasta, the mushroom roulade struck me as more of a side.)
Hard to go wrong with pasta. Perhaps ask the waitstaff if they have a good wine recommendation. (Though it's tempting to go for the most expensive, just because it's on someone else's dollar.)
>>798771 Go with this, because having two options for the two of you sounds good.
>>798768 Ordering for someone else (especially someone you don't know well) always felt rude and presumptuous to me, at least.
>>798774 Either one seems fine, and a recommendation from the waiter should help. (Actual mascarpone cheese and cream wouldn't be vegan, but perhaps they're using a substitute; there are a variety of cheese substitutes and ways to make things creamy without using milk.)
>>798781 Yeah, agreed. I like the idea of making a suggestion and offering to share, but leaving the choice up to her.
>>798771 Taki: How did you know I was vegan! That sounds lovely! You have earned TWO HEARTS! You currently have THREE HEARTS, which means you should at least get a good-night kiss and a second date if you don't totally screw this up. You and Taki will enjoy some light dinner conversation. What would you like to talk about? Suggest a dinner conversation: Note that some options include a LUCK TEST; as you don't have any special conversational skills, whether or not the conversation is interesting will depend on a luck test. 1. Talk about the environment. Actually you'll let Taki talk about the environment; you know jack about it. (LUCK TEST) 2. Talk about your interests, which are mostly about physical training since it takes a lot of hard work to get a body like yours. (LUCK TEST) 3. Ask her about her occupation of NINJA. 4. Talk about your occupation as son of a wealthy CEO, which is precisely why you have so much time to work on sculpting your manly physique. 5. Ask her to tell you about her gardening. (LUCK TEST) 6. Pick something at random. (LUCK TEST) 7. Something else? ____________ (maybe luck test?)
>>798784 Ask her about the environment, how long she's been vegan, that kind of thing. Listen a lot more than you talk. Use the food to ask her what kinds of things she grows in her garden, and what she likes to cook with them. Wonder aloud what they used to substitute for mascarpone and cream to make the dish turn out so well.
While most people love to talk about themselves, its hard to stay engaged if your intrests have little in common. Ask about her gardening. There's surely some stories in there we can appreciate. Besides that given freaken Fred, those stories might open up into a dozen different avenues to discuss. Also, if she's an environmentalist, doesn't keeping demon plants pose a serious risk? I mean if one were to escape could its offspring outcompete the local flora?
>>798790 > Also, if she's an environmentalist, doesn't keeping demon plants pose a serious risk? I mean if one were to escape could its offspring outcompete the local flora? That's a good question.
Talk about how they're growing meat in vats now so you can tear into animal flesh without harming any animals.
>>798786 You encourage Taki to talk about the environment and diet choices and are fortunate enough that her stories to actually be interesting to you so you don't have to fake it. Taki has been a vegan for a couple of years now. While she explains she needs to keep client confidentiality she explains many of her jobs have been restricted to spying on large corporations engaging in illegal dumping and collecting evidence. Apparently they've learned that they're being watched and have been employing less subtle methods of ensuring the security of their operations. She sighs and says that despite her best efforts the fines are laughable and even though the reported offences have gone up significantly it doesn't stop them from dumping anyway and just paying the fine. >>798790 Taki explains that while that would normally be a concern, Fred is also endangered. Taki: Getting Fred to stay healthy has been challenging; I doubt any of his shoots could survive far from my greenhouse, nevermind out in the wilds and I still haven't been able to get him to produce seed. But thank-you for asking. She coyly opens a fan and flutters it over her face. Taki: You're a great conversationalist. Ninjas are very nimble footed but you could very well sweep me off balance! You have earned an additional heart! Taki: Do you mind if I'm honest about something? And please, I won't hold it against you as I know you're not in any managerial position... but one of the companies I spied on was your father's. Are you OK with taking this date any further? How do you respond? 1. No, it's probably a conflict of interest to continue. (End the date and return to the hotel) 2. Yes, but explain you had no idea that your dad's company was doing that. 3. No, but depend your dad and explain the contractors lied about how they'd dispose of things. 4. Yes, depend your dad and explain the contractors lied about how they'd dispose of things.
2, Your dad isn't your boss and making excuses for other people is lame.
>>798797 2. We might hope there's a good reason for it, but regardless, it's good that she's keeping people honest and making sure the rules get followed. > She sighs and says that despite her best efforts the fines are laughable and even though the reported offences have gone up significantly it doesn't stop them from dumping anyway and just paying the fine. Ask her if there's something more that could be done about it. Has she considered taking the press angle with some of the companies, rather than just getting them fined? A story in the press drawing some fire from the public has a much stronger effect than any fine would, and motivates local authorities to make more of a public show of reacting so they look good for their constituents.
I mean, 2. Clearly we have been too focused on being a ripped trust fund kid and should maybe learn more about the world of business and how to run a company. You know, preparing to be a ripped trust fund adult. and maybe batman
I'd think that sort of depends on how personal vs professional the spying was. I mean, it's hard to hold doing her job against her. Especially if she caught someone at Dad's company not doing theirs. And corporate espionage is a thing. Increased scrutiny is the price of doing big business. It would only be a problem if she were, say, only dating us for access for spying. So long as her job and her dating are separate pursuits, we shouldn't have a problem with it.
>>798797 > Apparently they've learned that they're being watched and have been employing less subtle methods of ensuring the security of their operations. What kind of "less subtle methods"?
>>798804 Taki: Guns. Thugs. Threats of violence against anyone taking interest in their activities. Nothing I'm not used to, but it's certainly an escalation. You explain you had no idea your dad's company was doing stuff like that, and ask if there are more things that could be done such as bad press. Taki lowers her fan so you can see her smiling at you warmly before she raises it again. Taki: You're cute. The other things that could be done I'm really not at the liberty to discuss, client confidentiality and all that. But I do appreciate the sentiment. You earn an additional heart. She pauses while her fan flutters in a rhythmic manner much like how others might drum their fingers in thought. Taki: Would you like to come back to my place to discuss this further? It'd be nice to chat and relax with someone other than Fred, and you're *much* easier on the eyes.
>>798875 Accept the invitation.
You finish dinner and drinks and then head back to Taki's place for some hot coffee and private conversation. You and Taki make small talk while waiting for the cab to arrive. Nothing much of consequence; she avoids the subject of her work as a ninja, changing the topic to the weather or hobbies and doesn't ask about your dad's company. As you wait in the street, it begins to rain. Gently at first, but then it starts to come down harder and by the time the cab arrives you're both quite damp. Taki doesn't seem to mind. Taki: The trip back to my place is going to take awhile. Have any ideas on how to pass the time? What do you suggest? 1. Conversation. 2. Make out. 3. Sex. 4. _________?
>>798915 Have you heard of something called Magic the Gathering?
sex
>>798915 2. Put that lipstick to use.
Conversation and/or makeouts. Seems silly to have sex in the car if we're on the way to her place right now. (Unless, you know, this is our one chance to get any before she kills us at home).
That just screams poisoned lipstick. Discuss the local animal shelter, and how you AND your father would really like it if that one major shareholder would STOP ASKING TO TEAR IT DOWN for some stupid office building that doesn't make any sense. It's a waste of money, the potential building is an unproductive bureaucratic nightmare, and the whole affair is disgusting for threatening to mince a good home for small animals. Personally, you've met the owner of the orphanage, she's breeding cats with instincts to bury vermin in dirt next to fruit trees for extended nutrient growth. Very useful concept, extremely applicable to synergy between farmers and stray cats. You wish the shareholder would go insane or something so her kids could inherit the shares of the company, because she's a horrible 8!+(#. The only reason she's even here is because when she was a teenage brat, she used some of her sickeningly excessive 'allowance' (by which we mean two retirement funds) to invest in your dad's company on a whim. Now that she's screwed up all her other assets, all her wealth is tied into this company so she spends all day on the board suggesting stupid ideas and flaunting her middle-aged saggy butt as if she were [insert infamous shareholder name here]. You've been trying to think of a way to get the shareholder away from this company, but she has extremely competent bodyguards and you're sure her will includes the phrase "if I am murdered please donate my shares to various [insert acceptable target here]". If only there were someone who could make it look like an accident despite her flawless (and deranged) security, they even watch her while she sleeps! *shudder*
Feign some conversation, but let it quickly devolve into making out.
Surmise that the lipstick might be poised. Realize you don't actually care. Talk a bit more, but have it inevitably devolve into making out.
Part of me wants to say "To pass the time? I think I might like to kiss you. What do you think?" but then there is still the voice in the back of my head that wants to say "I hope this isn't some elaborate plan to kidnap me for leverage. I would much rather work together."
Any attempt into conversation crumbles away as you can't take your eyes off her glistening ready lips. Either she pulled some ninja trick or your brain just stopped working, but the next thing you know you're making out with her and it dawns on you that this cab the show provided was clearly designed for it as you have plenty of room. If this is all just a ploy to kidnap you then either she is the world's greatest actress or she is seriously considering this part of the job a serious perk because she is *hungry*. She bites your shoulder, nibbles on your ears and grips the back of your head firmly so she can go in for a sensual kill. Considering the size difference the girl is basically owning you right now. The only question really is -- what do you do with your hands? What do you do? Note: Any skill check can be substituted with a luck check. Your skill has recovered from the effects of weed and your stamina has recovered due to the meal. 1. Avoid touching her naughtiest bits; keep it firmly in make-out territory so she is properly teased. 2. Take advantage of her hunger and feel her up. This also has the advantage of checking for concealed items, if you're that kind of paranoid despite having a hot n' ready ninja lady on top of you. (SKILL CHECK) 3. Check on the status of her panties. (SKILL CHECK) 4. Get her out of the dress. (LUCK CHECK) 5. ? _____________
1) You really think a sneak grope on a ninja will go well? If she wants you to take the initiative, she needs to spell it out!
2, but on the stipulation that it's natural. Don't go tryin to frisk her for weapons lol she probably does have at least one. She's letting you know she's into you, so let her know your in to her.
>Don't go tryin to frisk her for weapons lol she probably does have at least one. Yeah, a ninja without concealed weapons would be a heck of a lot more surprising than one with. Her having a concealed weapon would not be a reliable indication she's out for you. (And a good ninja is still dangerous unarmed, so it's not like no weapons would mean you were safe either). Make out territory and/or feel her up as the mood dictates. Don't bother with the paranoia, it won't help you now. Enjoy the moment, and let the thrill of possible danger enhance it.
>>798976 I'd say this as well, a ninja would probably have concealed weapons regardless of the situation, so just go with the flow.
>>798981 Not making a hard decision between 1 and 2 will leave things to a SKILL CHECK. Yes, skill also applies to make-out ability.
The correct answer is.. 2!
1, but feel free to 2 as the makeout gets longer. Wouldn't want her thinking we're only after one thing, yet also don't want to deny such an eager gal. Her place wil be coming up before you know it.
4. No guts, no glory.
>>798962 Check for a tetsubo between her legs.
She's a very passionate kisser and you decide that she's giving you all the signals to takes this make-out session up a notch. You run your hands down her back and across her bum and give it a good squeeze. She laughs breathlessly and continues to kiss around your neck, but as you move down her leg she stops you. Taki: Careful big guy, some of those darts are poisoned. She stop momentarily and hikes up her dress on one side; she's got a sheathed dart of some kind and a bag of ... something tied to something like a garter belt. She guides your hand so it rests back on her backside cheek. >>798973 >>798976 Turns out you were right; she is armed. But she's not making a big deal about it, and if she wanted you dead she wouldn't have told you about the poison right? So you take it all in stride. >>798994 She's lying on top of you and very hot; if she had that 'kind of weapon' there you'd know by now one way or the other. The only thing that concerns you now is that you're starting to feel the beginnings of fatigue. It's probably all the wine. Nothing serious; your STAMINA score is not affected yet but you wonder if you should escalate things while your energy is still at its peak. You don't know how close the cab is to your destination because the windows have steamed up, so do you: 1. Wait until you arrive. 2. Check Taki's 'progress' and also be "very sure she is not concealing a 'tetsubo' between her legs". 3. Take her.
>>799000 Tease her further, but don't start wandering under clothing until right before the cab arrives. Keep it at teasing until her place.
Keep on teasing her, stay outside the clothing, don't go beyond teasing right now. Of course the moment you're inside the house, you can go beyond that, but not UNTIL then. Restraint!
You refrain from going any further. Soon afterwards you arrive at Taki's home. Taki clearly must make good money as a ninja because her lot is large with a high wall around it, although the house itself is a modest red brick affair attached to a conservatory & greenhouse. Even in the rain and poor light you can see the glistening of lots of plant life. Taki opens the door and takes a low bow, which may or may not be solely so you can look down her dress which is just covers her modesty at this angle. Taki: Welcome to my humble fortress! Please excuse the darkness, but it's generally how ninja operate. I'll put some lights on in the living room and you can relax, and we can get out of these wet clothes. I'm afraid I don't have anything that will fit you, but I do have some nice fluffy towels you could make use of. You don't mind if I make myself more comfortable, do you? She grins. Taki: Could I get you something to warm yourself up with while I change? Wine? Brandy? Saki? Hot coffee? What do you ask for? 1. Wine 2. Brandy 3. Saki 4. Hot coffee 5. Milk 6. Nothing, just hurry back! 7. _______________? Regardless of your answer, Taki will get you settled in her cozy living room. It smells sweet there; something like roses but more exotic and subtle. The walls are wallpapered with a soft violet and cherry blossom theme, the carpet is a soft and white, and the furniture black. You are seated on very comfortable couch. Taki has a few traditional Japanese tapestries hanging and a large entertainment center. Also, while you set in her cozy living room, what do you plan to do? A. Admire the tapestries and try to quickly find more information about them on your smart phone. B. Investigate the entertainment center. C. Search the couch for loose change. D. Search the room for ... traps? Cameras? Stuff paranoid people would look for? E. Check on your condoms. F. _______________?
Ask for Apple Juice. Check your condoms and then go peep on Taki.
4DE.
>>799066 Just water. Or juice, if she has anything fresh; we'd love to try something from her garden, and something sweet would be almost like dessert right now. Look at the tapestries. Try a reverse image search on a quick picture of whichever one looks the most subtle.
"Coffee, with whisky, whiskey, bourbon, or scotch; whatever you have, in it." Look at the entertainment center.
Fresh juice sounds good. Investigate the tapestries, and check on your condoms.
>>799066 If our stamina is already affected by the booze, we shouldn't pile on more if we want to do well. 4A. Is E even necessary with a creature of a different species from a different continuity? ...well, I suppose our playboy has no way to know. Biology and metaphysics aren't his thing.
>>799066 Coffee sounds nice, but any of the others do, too. Check on your protection. Raw dogging on the first date probably isn't the best idea.
6D! What if she lied about her darts being poisoned? In other words, because her darts weren't poisoned, she couldn't kill us with absolute certainty back there. I mean, she's in no rush to kill us and she's just being careful. But now that we're here, it would be safe and easy for her to do it with some real poison~~ Or perhaps the poison on her darts is simply a slow-acting one. In any case, try to search the place, but don't make it look like you're a burglar. If you get caught, be ready to stare at "an important-looking item" and ask her what it is.
7) A cup of Taki. D. Search her cavern for traps thoroughly before you send your fighter in.
Juice A E
When you request apple juice, Taki is a bit surprised. Taki: Apple juice? Well, yes fresh juice is certainly very nice but apple trees aren't really the kind of things I grow, and even if I did the apples aren't in season just yet. Give me a moment though, I can certainly rustle up some apples and put them in my juicer.
>>799177 Cool, thanks. Are we worried enough about poison to risk looking like a prat if she catches us spying on her making the apple juice?
>>799086 This is a crossover world; you can get anyone pregnant. Also going in bareback could result in getting some weird crossover STD that only results from exotic pairings. But there is reduced sensation so hey, up to you. But after checking your wallet, you do have two condoms in good condition so everything should be fine! You also try to look up the tapestries on your smart phone. This is a test of luck more than skill as you are not really the artistic type, but you manage to find some articles! (Luck is now 9) You quickly scan them and attempt to commit them to memory (successful skill roll) and you hope to impress Taki with your new knowledge. You're not quite sure if you need additional hearts now that you're at her place but it couldn't hurt, right? You hear a grinding from the kitchen and shortly afterwards Taki arrives with a glass of fresh apple juice and some ginger snap cookies. She gives you a quick kiss and tells you to make yourself comfortable while she freshens up; she says she just noticed her lipstick is a bit of a mess. She hands you a napkin in case you'd like to take care of that but adds in a husky voice that "It really won't matter, considering what I've got planned" and winks. Anticipation flushes through you. You have a few more moments while Taki changes! What do you do? 1. Search the area real fast. 2. Enjoy your snack. 3. Try to sneak a peek at Taki. 4. Get out the body oil and make sexy preparations of your own. Yes, you carry body oil on you for just such an emergency.
>>799181 2,3
>>799183 Yes.
>>799177 I'd hoped that we would just ask after what she might have (expressing interest in her garden), not have her go to this kind of trouble. But oh well. >>799181 2 and 3.
>>799181 The body oil is for the massage, though technically there is a good chance of it getting on both of you. Get it out, but just set it on the table as a quiet invitation. (If you dont end up dead tonight you need to get ninja waifu to teach you how to be batman.)
Grab a katana to defend yourself / stick into Taki's pussy while you blow her. Either way you WILL @#$% her up tonight.
Break off one horn and toot.
2, 3.
2,3
NSFW for due to bum. You enjoy your snack; the ginger cookies are high quality and the apple juice is freshly made. It gives you energy and compensates the fatigue you felt earlier. You then try to creep out in the direction of where you saw Taki walk off to, down the hall. As pass the bathroom and can hear her humming to herself, and as quietly as possible try to follow the sound to its source. It appears Taki left the door to her bedroom open. She has hung her evening gown up and has just picked out what appears to be a flimsy nightie to wear -- and nothing else, given the lack of panties. You guess it should come as no surprise when she turns and looks at you over her shoulder just as you're processing the scene; she is a ninja after all. Taki: Are we that impatient? The fact that she's completely unconcerned with her modesty tells you all you really need to know. What do you do? 1. Demonstrate your own ninja skills by leaping towards her bed, undressing in mid-air, and striking a sexy nude pose upon landing. 2. Say something clever like "WHOAH MOMMA, you know I just can't take it any longer!" (and also pose like Johnny Bravo) 3. Blush profusely and back-peddle all the way back to the living room. 4. Explain that in your culture, "Apple Juice" means wild unadulterated sex with a cyclops woman and you got your signals crossed. 5. Pull out your bottle of body oil, point to it and then grin. 6. ____________?!
>>799291 1,2,5 in that order.
>>799291 5 (just 5). You're not trying to start anything early, you just thought you'd catch her and see if she was putting on something that would be conducive to a massage. That you happened to catch her at just the right time is entirely a happy coincidence.
Pull out the tail buttplug.
Take refuge in audacity. "You did say to make myself comfortable, and watching you is most comfortable indeed." Then 5.
>>799181 > she says she just noticed her lipstick is a bit of a mess Has she already touched up her lipstick, or not yet? (It'd be plausible for her to wait to do that until after she put on the nightie.) If so, watching her now would have a bit of an additional benefit, if there's any chance there's something fishy about that lipstick.
>>799293 Whoah whoah whoah, you just went in peeping and you're say'n you don't want to start anything early? >>799295 Taking refuge in audacity is more >>799292 >>799296 She's already fixed her lipstick; it's not smeared anymore. You gotta naked ninja in front of you. Let's call it my bad for providing so many options boil this down into some really simple suggestions instead: 1. Lead. 2. Follow. 3. Bail.
Alternate between leading and following.
>>799304 1
1.
3. Chicks dig fear of commitment.
Mild NSFW for suggestive content. In a smooth motion you leap into the air, fling your clothing aside and land on Taki's bed in a sultry pose, complete with the body oil in one hand (and condoms concealed in the other). "Whoah momma," you exclaim in your sexiest, most Johnny-Bravoist voice, "I can't wait any longer, let's go get jiggity!" Taki is clearly impressed by your skillful display. You briefly wonder if you acquired any hearts before realizing you and a ninja are naked together and no longer caring. Taki nods her head in approval and says in a husky voice: Well I didn't expect that. She strides over to the bed with a purposeful sway and gracefully slips next to you. Taki: So why don't you make good use of that oil? You tell Taki to: 1. Lay on her back, start on her shoulders. 2. Lay on her back, start at her feet. 3. Lay on her stomach, start at her shoulders. 4. Lay on her stomach, start at her feet. 5. __________?
5. Skip to the morning, wake up in the afterlife, wondering where it went wrong. Jokes aside.. 3+4 with each hand at the same time. Gotta work fast and spank that ass soon.
Chug! Chug! Chug!
3, work down.
NSFW for fem nipples. >>799342 Do you know what happens when you spank an oiled up ass? >>799343 Oh no, not after last time. Oops -- you botch your SKILL TEST! You do a good job massaging the oil into her back and shoulders, but as you get to her ass and give it a playful smack you forget your own strength and the effects of oil on spanks. Taki arches her back in pain and yelps. Taki: OI FUCK!! WATCH IT that HURT! I don't mind things a little rough but ASK ME if you wanna switch it up from sensual massage to stuff like that! She scowls at you and you've lost a heart (you currently still have 4). What do you do now? 1. Apologize by kissing ass. 2. Apologize by eating ass. 3. Apologize with proper massage, no spanking. 4. Just apologize, start over with foreplay. 5. Ask her what you can do to make it up to her. (Give Taki the Lead) 6. Bail in utter panic. 7. ________? If you're wondering, yes there have been and will continue to be mandatory skill/luck checks behind the scenes. You may TEST YOUR LUCK for improved outcomes this round; your luck current stands at 8/11, rolling vs. 2D6.
TEST YOUR LUCK and repeat skill check until it succeeds.
3 Sorry, babe. Forgot how strong I am.
>>799354 That needs to accompany a suggestion.
3 then 1.
>>799358 That is the suggestion. Repeat spank until spank properly spankened.
3
2
>>799353 3. Apologize with proper massage, transitioning into some manual stimulation.
You apologize with a proper massage and Taki begins to relax. You note that while you didn't lose any hearts, you didn't gain any either, and your date-quest sense tingles: clearly you're going to need to step it up a notch and you have a sinking feeling that time might be running out. Dang it, you're both naked and all you're doing is rubbing body oil into her. Or for those convinced she's the assassin, you're both naked and all you're doing is rubbing body oil into her. Either way, you need to do something more AMBITIOUS if you really want the lead. What do you do? If you want sex: 1. Make out to re-rev her up. 2. Go down on her. 3. Boobs! You like playing with them, girls like having them played with. 4. Eat her ass. 5. Whip out your dick and tell her to get to work. 6. ___________? If you think she's the assassin: Note: She's buck naked and not carrying any weapons, unless she's got them in an orifice. A. Break her neck while she's relaxed. This may not go well; your hands are oily. B. Tell her you know she's gonna try to kill you -c hallenge her to a naked duel. C. Run away, smearing body oil all over the floor to slow her down. D. ___________? You may only select one category (Sex/Combat), and if you try to select one of each only the first one is being counted.
4. The dream may be dead but we can honor the memory of Snake Eater.
>>799393 sex 2,3
I bet she has a poisoned kunai up her vagina and she just drank all the antidote. Screw sex, give her a good fondling and finger fist her to orgasm, then leave.
A mix of 2&3
>>799404 >>799421 Sounds good.
2 gets my vote. I believe the former murder robot that talked about its old life sneaking in is the one that would've tried killing us, personally.
>>799393 2
2,3, and tell her you're doing 4 unless she says no.
C! Scream that you need an adult. Also, her weapons are obviously hidden in her cleavage.
>>799484 You begin to turn her over, and casually ask if she minds if you also eat her ass. Taki: Did... did you just say you were gonna eat my ass?
>>799506 Literally eat her ass.
>You have identified Taki's personal kink.[/ip] [i]Author Note: This too was rolled randomly. What do you do now? Please note that you now have insufficient blood going to your brain and escape is no longer an option. 1. Eat ass. 2. Follow original game plan - eat pussy, go for boobs, then ass. 3. Eat ass, obtain ninjanal (condom). 4. Eat ass, obtain ninjanal (bareback). 5. ________?
Tease her a little longer, then ask her casually if she remembered to clean her asshole, then dive your tongue right in the moment she says yes.
>>799508 2,4
>>799393 1
>>799509 Taki breathlessly explains that one of the reasons why freshening up took so long was preparations for just such an occasion.
>>799510 This one is the one
1 + 5:finger her + 5:Use one hand to always hold one of her legs with it. If she gets us in a leglock, that would be the end of us.
You decide that you'll start out by dining out and slip a little tongue to the backdoor while you're there before moving to her boobs. Given the size difference you slide off the bed and easily heft her up by her legs, pulling her towards you. The action makes Taki titter. Taki is both very wet and quite considerate; she had dabbed a bit of mild perfume in her nether regions during her 'freshening up' ritual, so she was probably hoping to get some oral action out of you. It smells faintly of rose petals. The moment you move away from her pussy and towards her ass, you hear her gasp and she grips the sheets tightly. Soon she's maneuvered herself so she can rub her clit with a free hand. As you continue, her heavy breathing and moans are interrupted by a flurry of nonsensical Japanese and the occasional squeaks. She starts to repeat the same phrase over and over again like she's forgotten to speak English while flailing her legs before screaming out for you to hurry up and just ream the fuck out of her. She's clearly not in any state to stop you from doing whatever you want. What do you do? 1. Front door (condom). 2. Back door (condom). 3. Front door (bareback). 4. Back door (bareback).
>>799523 You heard the lady. 4. Make sure to rub massage oil on your dick first and lube her ass a little with a finger or two. Spit is woefully insufficient.
>>799526 But lube her quickly and roughly. She requested a reaming, after all.
>>799523 Give it to her until she can't walk well enough to assassinate anyone for a week.
You have plenty of body oil to provide lube, and at Taki's urgings you slip easily into her back door. It feels toe-curlingly amazing as her own enthusiasm enhances the sensations beautifully, bucking into you with each thrust and clenching during withdrawal. In fact, it feels too good. So good, that you can't possibly last very long. Before you know it, you've lost all control and it feels like you're flooding her with every drop of fluid in your body. Taki: No! NO!! I SAIDNODAMMITIWASSOCLOSE!! Both your skills and your luck have failed you!
As you expend yourself, you feel your legs turn to jelly and your vision starts to cloud. All your stamina is gone. You can still vaguely hear Taki fuming as you pass out.
You never do regain consciousness, despite being only mildly poisoned by Taki's lipstick. Taki: Oh Fred, you were right. Once you go green, nothing else quite touches it. I'll never doubt you again! Despite being a nice date, your frustrating bedroom performance has sealed your fate -- although she likes you enough to make sure you never wake up or feel her final use for you. Taki injects you with several mutagens and spores, before delivering your unconscious form at the doorstep of your father's company. When you burst, you infect the staff and turn them into shambling plant-based monstrosities. They soon seize the company. When your father and the board attempt to escape, they find their helicopter sabotaged and a lone ninja laughing at them as their spore-hatched sins catch up with them. Soon afterwards more plant monsters spawn from the illegal dumping grounds. While horrific, the damage is quickly contained by special forces armed with flame-throwers and herbicides. The disaster's dual point of origins have the public quickly assume that the company's illegal dumping and improper handling of chemicals must have lead to the tragedy. New regulations are drawn up with fines now based on a percentage of an offender's gross profits to prevent such a disaster from happening again and environmental crimes drop significantly as a result. If it's any consolation, Taki does create a little shrine for you as a way of remembering your sacrifice. Also your last memory was ninjanal, so you have that going for you.
Stay tuned for post-mortem!
Nem: .... oh my Goddess. Spirits. I am so sorry. It takes Nem a few moments to recompose herself. She mutters something about being glad about not being a one-shot character before continuing. Nem's voice still trembles slightly: Well... not every one's a winner, right everyone? There is a canned response of "awwwwws" followed by laughter. It irritates Nem. Nem: But we DO have a consolation prize! For being invited home by the "Poison Ivy" assassin, "Poison Immunity" has now been added to the possible special ability table! Yes, Taki was the "Poison Ivy" assassin! She had two kinds of poisoned lipstick -- one that would kill you by the time you got to her place, and the other which would simply knock you out if you exerted yourself too much. You charmed her enough to consider kidnapping you instead of murdering you outright. According to her bio, there were other outcomes. If you were a good lover, she would have just kidnapped you instead -- if you were too good a lover there was a chance Fred might eat you out of jealousy, or she'd combine you and Fred to make a boyfriend/plant hybrid with tentacles and you'd join up with her as a super-villain couple. Nem double-checks that last part and as she thinks about it she blushes slightly before shaking it off. Nem: Would anyone like to ask any questions before we roll a new Johnny and try again? I can't answer everything but I'll do my best. And once again, I'm really sorry spirits. I was rooting for you.
>>799550 are tentacles a special?
>>799551 >No. The only new unlocked special is poison immunity. This isn't awarded automatically, like other rogue-like games it's just thrown into the pool of possible starter powers.
>>799550 So... did we get someone (blissfully) killed, or was he just a meat puppet? (Nevermind all the npcs we did get killed by letting the eco-terrorist go on the warpath, massacring mostly ordinary corporate employees just trying to make a living).
>>799554 The body was dead shortly after it arrived. It just exploded. That's what happens when there's no Batman.
>>799554 Also your character was just another innocent victim; it's not like you asked to be turned into a spore-bomb. You just wanted ninjanal.
What would've had to have happened to do the boyfriend/plant super villain combo? That would have been awesome! Significantly higher stats and better luck? Had we asked what the poison in the lipstick did, of course assuming that it was poisoned and she'd give us an antidote under the right circumstances, would she have told us and would we have been able to earn an antidote?
>>799575 >What would've had to have happened to do the boyfriend/plant super villain combo? That would have been awesome! Significantly higher stats and better luck? If you hadn't failed your skill check during ninjanal, there would have been a luck check. Bad luck would have you be attacked by Fred, good luck and she would have spliced the two of you together. Bad luck wouldn't have mean insta-kill but you'd have to avoid being grabbed until Taki woke up to stop the fight. Alternatively, earning enough hearts would also have her forgive a moment of drug-induced sexual inadequacy. >Had we asked what the poison in the lipstick did, of course assuming that it was poisoned and she'd give us an antidote under the right circumstances, would she have told us and would we have been able to earn an antidote? She would have poured it all over her backside and have you lick it off. Except it'd be a lie, and you'd still pass out. Side note, milk was an antidote (which Taki didn't know about).
>Alternatively, earning enough hearts would also have her forgive a moment of drug-induced sexual inadequacy. High bar, there, considering the previous panel was covered in hearts. >I'm really sorry spirits. I was rooting for you. "Rooting", heh. Word choice. So... you were watching, then?
>>799579 Well, would she at least have told us what the poison did? Especially if we asked in the right way? Like, if we passionately made out with her, and then asked what the poison in the lipstick did, immediately after making out with her, and what we had to do to earn the antidote? Doing it in that order would've passively signaled several things: -That we are clever enough to know what she is doing -That we value her culture, way of doing things, and her desire to have control over the way the date is going, enough to go along with something, at significant risk to ourselves -That we are interested in reaching a respectful compromise that would leave us still among the living Of course, that's not how that exchange went, but would something like that earned an explanation of what she had poisoned us with? Also, how is SHE not succumbing to the poison? It is, after all, on her lips, and as part of kissing, it will get elsewhere too; has she built up a tolerance or an immunity or something over time, as part of her training?
>>799581 >High bar, there, considering the previous panel was covered in hearts. Nem: The hearts can spill over to a second line or shrink to fit. Also I shouldn't tell you this but some hearts can also lie if the date is trying to deceive you. The "Empath" trait sees through it. >So... you were watching, then? Nem: Well... yeah. I'm the hostess.
>>799537 This is why I say critical hits / fails can go @#$% themselves. No matter how well you build a character, one critical fail is all they need to lose. Why can't we get a practical form of crit fails as a second roll, where a high second roll means something hurtful but possible happens and a low roll means another dice roll, with a string of critical fails means reality rips apart just to rape your character. Same for good crits. >>799550 I vote for lesbian / futa this time.
>>799594 >This is why I say critical hits / fails can go @#$% themselves. No matter how well you build a character, one critical fail is all they need to lose. >Why can't we get a practical form of crit fails as a second roll, where a high second roll means something hurtful but possible happens and a low roll means another dice roll, with a string of critical fails means reality rips apart just to rape your character. Same for good crits. Actually you rolled two absolute fails twice in a row; the Luck roll was to save your skill fail but it rolled equally dismally. Also this isn't a built character, this is a randomly generated one. Lesbian/Futa/Gay Johnnys were never originally an option but if that's what you'd like it is possible to set the next Blind Date to that.
I get the comedy of errors for randomly generated characters, that's fine! However, I would suggest against high-likelihood and high-impact critical failures for a character that we actually generate and care about, yaknow?
>>799596 *Author Note* Like I said, that was a double fail at a rather critical moment. It was actually a rather low likelihood. The factors that made it so critical were the fact that your character was poisoned, that you had lost a heart just shortly prior, and that you went in bareback. Also Taki was the assassin, so naturally she's going to be a lot less forgiving.
I regret only that none of the listed possible outcomes were "grow up to be batman" (or more like Green Arrow, but he is just green batman so w/e)
>>799599 How are rolls done? The fact that they're not visible to use is highly suspicious. You could have just said that we critically failed two in a row to give us a bad end.
>>799614 I use https://www.random.org/. I'm not the kind of person to pull those kinds of things. Just take a look at Nem's Quest or Sami's Quest -- they both have lots of mechanics to prevent premature bad ends. Speaking of Nem's Quest, I used to use the on-board random rolls for it but it was klunky and people told me to worry less about 'are you faking it' and more for readability.
Nemain Morrigan the XIII: I should not do this. Normally I would not do this. I do not have domain in this capacity for mortals. But I have been given permission. I can give you a second chance. Do you want a second chance? I can bring you back here and now. I can allow you to change your ending. You will not die here, and you can stop the spores, and you can bring Taki to justice. Or I can bring you back to an earlier time, and allow you to change the date and avoid this all together, using the knowledge of what will be. What do you choose? 1. Change your ending - revive now, stop the disaster, go after Taki. 2. Change the date - revert before your first kiss, before you were poisoned. 3. Accept your fate.
3. We lost, that's all there is to it.
>>799763 1. Change the ending.
2. This Could be interesting. Toying with fate might be fun. Changing just the ending however feels like us being a sore loser however. much must change for a second chance to be worth it.
>>799771 Fair enough. Change my 1 to a 2, then
You shake off the fog of death, of the vision of death. You never expected death to have freckles. Or to host a dating game! Learn new things every day. Taki: ... Johnny, are you OK? You've noticed a few things have changed in the chronological manipulation. One, your name is Johnny now. You think your name was always Johnny, actually. Two, you no longer wear an "M for Manly" shirt. Three, your sunglasses have changed. Four, you are not dead. Five, you have not kissed Taki yet. She has gotten ready though; you recognize her poisoned lips. Your SKILL is currently 9 (maximum skill is 12) Your STAMINA is currently 16 (maximum stamina is 24) Your LUCK of 10/11 (Maximum luck is 12). You appear to have still spent on point of LUCK. Your SPECIAL ABILITY is STRENGTH. You deal DOUBLE DAMAGE in combat and can perform great feats of strength in exchange for 2 pts of STAMINA. You THINK you have 5 hearts with Taki; but now that you know that TAKI is an ASSASSIN trying to KILL YOU and use your corpse in an act of environmental terrorism, maybe some of those hearts are FAKE. You know Taki is ARMED with a poison dart and a bag of SOMETHING. You know you are heading home to her place. Taki: ... Johnny? Taki's sexy voice interrupts your thoughts. She's right there and so close to you. You can smell the sweetness of roses from her, you can see the dim light glisten off those lethal lips. It reminds you of your time with her, how she scented her nethers with the same fragrance while she was freshening up. You remember how incredibly tight her ass was and how quickly you lost all control, and flooded her with... ... oh yeah, that's what killed you. You make a mental note to have a plan not to bust so early, if you go down a similar route. She's looking at you with concern, but who knows how genuine it is. You should probably say or do something. What do you do?! 1. Ask if you can stop the cab somewhere because you need some air. Make up an excuse why. This will give you the chance to find a weapon, escape, or call someone. 2. Attack Taki while she's distracted. You will be at -4 skill because the quarters are tight and you are large as well as the fact you're unarmed. Your penalty will be at -3 instead for the first round only due to surprise. 3. Tell Taki that you promised your mom to save yourself for marriage so you don't feel comfortable making out. This should delay any chance of poison application for now. 4. Tell Taki you want to eat her ass. Right here. Right now. This could give you the opportunity to attack while she is distracted. Or you could make her orgasm in the cab and then she owes you one, so if things go south later she should be OK. 5. Do you have another plan?
>>799780 Put a finger in front of her lips. "No kissing yet - lets not bring our hearts into this until we've got something more than just fun."
>>799780 >>799781 This sounds plausible. Though that doesn't mean you can't kiss her elsewhere, such as on the neck; just avoid the lips.
>>799782 From your previous romantic encounter you know the likelihood of preventing her from kissing your lips is low. You are also not sure if the poison has to be ingested or just be on your skin long enough. Taki gave you LOTS of tongue so maybe it does, but she also kissed you all over so maybe it doesn't. What is your plan? Are you planning to: 1. Just stall until the cab gets to her place. 2. Prevent the kiss so you can enact some OTHER plan during the cab ride.
>>799784 The plan is to find a way to convince her that you can help her reach her goals far better than she could if she betrayed you. By having sex with her. We should go heavy on the foreplay and keep our lips busy. When we go in, double-up on condoms.
The Ass Eating Idea Sounds like it might work.
Mention to her that while you respect her... idiom and cultural touchstones, and understands her desire for 'insurance', as it were, you really don't want to be poisoned. Hopefully, you haven't been already poisoned, even. You do want to cooperate with her goals, though! Let's say, hypothetically, that she was about to poison you to achieve some end. What end or desire would that be? And could you simply agree to work towards that without chemical compulsion?
>>799780 >5. Do you have another plan? Do we have to go to her place? Can't we just go to our fathers company office and cause a ruckus while she steals documents and hacks the mainframe?
>>799864 That sounds like a fantastic idea! And so romantic!
Suddenly time seems to slow right down. Nemain: Hey Handsome. You: Hey there, cute freckled Death game show hostess lady. Nemain: Know why I'm popping up right now? You: ... so you can take me on a date instead and get me outta here? Nemain: Sorry, now that you're basically a client there's a conflict of interest there. You: Well how 'bout... Nemain: Listen, I just wanted to remind you that I can't bring you back again. This is your one shot at fixing things. You: How m'I doing? Nemain: At this rate I suspect we'll be seeing each other again real soon in the bad end kinda way. You: ... hey, could I date you then? Nemain pauses. Nemain: We still have a conflict of interest right now and information is restricted. I'm just popping up because it was a lot of work to bring you back to this point and some of the little ideas floating around in your head are going to get you killed while you're still in the cab. You: ... Can you be more specific? Nemain sighs and seems to be reading you -- literally, it's like there's things she can read on your face and she's just taking the time to re-read it. Nemain: Let me put it this way. You're a ninja assassin. You've infiltrated a game show to get close to the son of a target whom you intend to infect with what is essentially a zombie spore bomb. You're the only one who's supposed to know this plan. What do you think will happen if it appears that your target seems to know exactly what you're planning? Have you ever played Shadowrun? Do you have any sense of knowing when a run is about to go bad as usual? You pause for a moment. You: Hey, you're a nerd aren't you?! You're like the cutest Death Game Show Hostess Nerd I've ever seen! If I had known there were nerds like you I would have spent less time in the gym! Nemain sighs. Nemain: I'm just saying, don't screw this up again so soon Johnny. She vanishes and time begins to resume its normal course.
>>799780 Johhny begin a skill check for a mouth massage of her back and shoulders + anything else to stall for time to avoid her lips. If she tries to force it say that, "This is all about her right now you happy ending comes later~" if she still tries go for the embarrassed "I promised my momma I would never kiss on a first date... it is pretty intimate thing." Believe in the me that believes in you to salvage this date Johnny!
>conflict of interest Isn't being a reaper and being the host of a gameshow with death on the line a conflict of interest? >Do you have a plan? This time, instead of orange juice, ask for a glass of milk (because it counteracts the poison, and she's not aware of this). This could allow us to play along for now and lull her into a false sense of security, setting up for a counter attack in her home. We probably shouldn't fight in the car. This isn't a good enough ambush, and she's probably flexible / fast enough to use the weapon we know she has on her. First moment you're alone with your phone, instead of looking up tapestries, you should send a text to dad with your panic code, telling him to evac the company building / lock it down / crank up security. Warn him of the imminent attack.
>>799878 This is plausible. It's quirky, but we could try to play it off. And seconding asking for milk when she offers us a drink.
>>799876 Didn't she saying during dinner that our dad does bad stuff? We could always play it off as our idea if she got suspicious.
>>799899 If we want to try that, we should go for a bit more planning, rather than diving into it the moment we're threatened. We could bring that up back at her apartment.
rolled 2, 2 = 4 >>799885 >Isn't being a reaper and being the host of a gameshow with death on the line a conflict of interest? Nemain: No, not really. I'm mortal, and deal with the problem of immortals staying out their welcome. Johnny's mortal, it didn't become a conflict of interest until I was assigned to use some of my talents to bring him back. >First moment you're alone with your phone, instead of looking up tapestries, you should send a text to dad with your panic code, telling him to evac the company building / lock it down / crank up security. Warn him of the imminent attack. Nemain: I may be over-stepping my bounds but have you considered how you're going to explain all that while on a date with said security threat? From experience I know that one's parents aren't always interested in doing what's right, even when it comes from their children. Or sometimes especially when it comes from their children. Also just a side note, but that roll? I've been asked to make the probability public. If your roll is 9 or lower you'll succeed, 10 or higher and you'll fail, but this isn't a life-or-death situation -- it's just a sensuality check for Pankank.
>have you considered how you're going to explain all that while on a date with said security threat? No. I wasn't going to explain. The idea is rely on whatever trust exists between father and son and hope when he receives a warning that the company is in immediate danger without a detailed explanation he'll believe it and act. Mitigating the body count in the worst case if she kills us again. It's a shot in the dark that won't fix everything (and will do nothing if we're though to be crying wolf), but it's potentially saving lives with a short text. Low cost potentially good return.
>>799926 The result of your skill check is that you're able to 'occupy' Taki for the duration of the cab ride home without her assuming lead and kissing you with her poisoned lips. She's cooperative so you take advantage of the situation and cop a feel of her boobs while you're at it. They are unaugmented and there are no weapons stored between them. You also discover her nipples are a little bit sensitive.
Well this is a familiar scene. The only differences is that Taki seems a little more flushed and her lipstick isn't smeared all over you. Taki: Welcome to my humble fortress! Please excuse the darkness, but it's generally how ninja operate. I'll put some lights on in the living room and you can relax, and we can get out of these wet clothes. I'm afraid I don't have anything that will fit you, but I do have some nice fluffy towels you could make use of. You don't mind if I make myself more comfortable, do you? She grins. Taki: Could I get you something to warm yourself up with while I change? Wine? Brandy? Saki? Hot coffee? You ask for milk. Taki is quite surprised but goes to the kitchen to fetch some milk & cookies. While she is gone, you will have two very limited times to act; once while she is in the kitchen, and again when she goes to freshen up. The kitchen isn't very far from her living room, you will have to be wary of sound. What do you do while Taki is in the kitchen? 1. Text your father warning him of the impending attack. 2. Use your browser and ask an Internet forum for help (specify where) 3. Search for a weapon. Keep in mind your STRENGTH allows you to use improvised weapons beyond what would be sensible. 4. Get naked. Wear condom. 5. Get naked. Don't wear condom. 6. Text The Show. Ask for help. Something else? ____________?
>>799965 go find a water absorbent cloth then use STRENGTH to push Taki against the wall chest towards the wall hands behind her back hold them there, and wipe her lipstick off whisper in her ear, "Challenge you to a game of sexual combat. No poison, no darts, no backup just you and me and a fuck to end it all."
>>799970 Note: STRENGTH allows you to do all kinds of stuff AFTER you can wrangle something. Inanimate objects (couches, statues, etc) will not fight your grappling, but Taki is a ninja. To manhandle people, you need to first make a successful SKILL roll. Since Taki is a ninja and both smaller and more flexible than you are, you'll have to make TWO skill rolls to maintain a hold unless you can distract her first. This is why your STRENGTH makes you do double-damage in combat but doesn't assist your strikes at all.
Yeah, let's not rely on our luck after what happened with that one last Skill roll. 1. Text your father warning him of the impending attack. Also, taking a quick look around for some solid-looking furniture would be nice but it's not too crucial.
>>799965 What we do depends a bit on whether we're just looking to stop Taki, or whether we're also looking to turn Taki and talk her out of this. If we just want to stop her, we could text our father and then perhaps make a break for it when she's freshening up. If we want to turn her (which I'd like to try), then we should play along a bit more, and maybe have a conversation before she goes to freshen up. While she's in the kitchen, look up (or if there isn't enough time pretend to have looked up) information that at least suggests there might be some truth to her mention of there being real issues with your family's company (or failing that with some other company that perhaps you know through your father is up to even less good). If you can find something hinting at your family's company, then when she comes back to the kitchen, ask her to talk for a minute, and tell her you had the thought running through your mind for a while (except when she was effectively blanking your mind of all else during the cab ride, don't want her to think you weren't enjoying it), and that it was making you feel all guilty about it. You know that while you don't have anything to do with it, you'd feel terrible not doing anything about it now that you know. Tell her that while it might not be the most date-like conversation, you'd like to hear more about it, with an eye towards using any influence you might have with your family's company to investigate and fix things. Ask her for advice, give her the puppy-dog look. Worth a shot.
Seeing if she wants to try a more direct approach to the problem, with someone helping her from the inside, does seem like a novel possibility.
Johnny, Choose ONE Plan 1. Stop Taki. 2. Turn Taki. You must choose ONE or the other. Note that neither plan forbids you from having sex with Taki, but you must decide if your ultimate goal is to just stop her or turn her. If you choose 2 - Turn Taki - then you will not be able to use LETHAL FORCE against her, pulling all your punches and forgoing your normal 2x damage bonus (you will still hit other targets with full force, just not Taki). Plan 1 allows for all kinds of dirty tricks including donkey punches, throwing furniture, calling your Dad, etc. Plan 2 means you can't bring your Dad into this directly, nor can your plans involve getting Taki arrested (at least, not on purpose).
>>800306 This might end in Johnny dying again, but darned if he's not going to do the noble thing. Turn Taki.
>>800306 Turn Taki. Her goals are reasonable, just not all of her methods. Let's help her.
>>800306 Stop her. She's an Eco-terrorist willing to stoop to seducing and murdering a relative innocent to further her plans, and is willing to brutally murder an entire office building of mostly hapless corporate drones just trying to make a living with little to no ability to actually influence the decisions the company is making. That is not a good person who deserves redeeming. That's a dangerous murderer who needs to be stopped.
>>800306 Turn her, for as long as you see hope in doing so. Stop if she shows no signs or interest in changing her ways.
>>800306 Stop Taki.
Turn Taki. But realize that it might mean your death, but you could maybe save innocents. The right way to go about stopping an immoral company is NOT cut a bloody path through it!
i think this depends just how "Poison ivy" she is. is she doing this for the PLANTS, or EVERYONE? if the latter im sure the only reason shes come-up with this plan is cause nothing else she has tried is working. IDEALLY we turn her, become a pair of vigilantes/anti-heroes(doing wrong things for the right reasons) hopefully causing little to no deaths if at all possible.
You decide to try to turn Taki. It's not the first terrible idea you've had, hopefully it won't be your last. Almost to confirm this, you feel a sudden chill in the room and she appears again. Nemain: If you're going to try to go down that path then you need to know that you're going to have to deal with Fred first. Everything you want depends on it. You: Where's Fred? Nemain: He doesn't have quite the right signature yet for me to find him, you'll have to ask Taki. Look, I have to pop out again soon -- I'm bending the rules helping this much as is. What do you do now? 1. Ask Nemain if she does anal. 2. Ask Nemain if you can date her after this. 3. Use your browser and ask an Internet forum for help (specify where) 4. Search for a weapon. Keep in mind your STRENGTH allows you to use improvised weapons beyond what would be sensible. 5. Get naked. Wear condom. 6. Get naked. Don't wear condom. 7. Text The Show. Ask for help. 8. Look for Fred in the Greenhouse. 9. Wait for Taki to come back, ask her to show you evidence of your father's company's misdoings. 10. Wait for Taki to come back, ask her to tell you about Fred.
>>800375 2 and 4.
>>800375 Do not do anything that clues her in on you being aware of her plans. When she gets back, tell her "I don't know if you're familiar with it, but with how this is going you should know I'm trying out this 'anal-only lifestyle' thing. If you're not interested that's fine, but I'd at least like a chance to persuade you." If she asks why then explain it's partially for fun, but mostly that your dad's a terrible person, and while you're in line to inherit the company and stop and expose the awful things they do, you don't have the resources do that yet and you don't want to burn bridges. Not giving him any grandkids is a way to stick it to him that's not going to get the company handed off to somebody.
>>800375 Just out of curiosity why did we become a slightly different person? Did you use a random dead body of someone that looked similar to us? I'm not complaining this guy is pretty cool
>you're going to have to deal with Fred first Didn't Taki say Fred is exotic and endanger and wouldn't survive in the wild? Throwing him outside might do him in. ...if she wasn't lying. And if Fred doesn't eat you when we try to move him. 2, because why not. She's trying to help you, instead of murder you. 8. If Taki shows up, we can just say we were interested from her description before, and you've been careful not to touch anything.
>2, because why not. She's trying to help you, instead of murder you. You: Sooo uhh... maybe if I survive this you might wanna go out, huh? Nemain: ... even if it wasn't a conflict of interest, you're just not my type Johnny. You: What's your type baby? Nemain: Uh... look, you're easy on the eyes and all but I HAVE been watching this date. Your next one too (now I see what Matcha meant by 'sideways memory') and I gotta say... not too impressed. The only reason why Taki didn't kill you earlier was because you were sympathetic to her cause. You know the old saying, 'don't put your dick in crazy'? Well... you've put it in crazy. And I don't really fancy Paula's chances either right now. You: W-wait wait wait. Who's Paula? And don't take this the wrong way, but right now you kinda sound crazy Nerdy Death Gameshow Lady and I still wanna put my dick in *you*. Nemain considers this. Nemain: You're still not my type. >Just out of curiosity why did we become a slightly different person? Did you use a random dead body of someone that looked similar to us? I'm not complaining this guy is pretty cool Nemain, to TGCHAN Directly: Oh, good question. No, basically this sort of thing ... how to put this... Basically your mind has continue to move FORWARD but we had to shift the world BACKWARDS, which is impossible to do without a little warping. Basically, a little bit of Johnny from Date 3 spilled into this one 'cause you're also dating Paula at the same time WHILE having full knowledge of how Date 2 turned out originally WHILE on a revision of Date 2 itself. Does that help? >2 and 4. You reckon you could probably throw most of the furniture around. Her entertainment center, her couch, her coffee table... it would cost some stamina but you could do it. Now if you HIT her with it, chances are you'd do some serious damage. Less for the couch due to the padding. You don't have much time to search elsewhere. >8. If Taki shows up, we can just say we were interested from her description before, and you've been careful not to touch anything. You could do that NOW, but you get the feeling Taki will be back with milk before then. You could probably make a go of the greenhouse while she freshens up, since you know that includes a trip to the bathroom to clean up and apply some fragrances to her nethers as well as put on the nightie. >If she asks why then explain it's partially for fun, but mostly that your dad's a terrible person, and while you're in line to inherit the company and stop and expose the awful things they do, you don't have the resources do that yet and you don't want to burn bridges. Not giving him any grandkids is a way to stick it to him that's not going to get the company handed off to somebody. Your dad would probably not want you giving him grandkids with a girl you've not quite finished ONE DATE WITH and most men who don't want children use a condom instead of insisting on anal. It more sounds like a ridiculous ploy for anal and dangerously too informed.
Nemain vanishes back into the shadows from which she came. You think those shadows took a vaguely wolfish form as they left. Taki will be back soon, this is what you have time to consider: 1. Get naked. Wear condom. 2. Get naked. Don't wear condom. 3. Text The Show. Ask for help. 4. Wait for Taki to come back, ask her to show you evidence of your father's company's misdoings. 5. Wait for Taki to come back, ask her to tell you about Fred.
3. Text The Show. Ask for help. 4. Wait for Taki to come back, ask her to show you evidence of your father's company's misdoings. >>800443 We'll now that's just unfair, you saw us have one dinner with one person that we obviously were suspicious of from the get go and considering you had to think about it before saying we aren't your type means there is maybe a part of you find that finds attractive in a way. One date couldn't hurt... Unless it does.... like the last date did.... My point is that you don't know the real johnny underneath this roguishly handsome facade.
>>800451 >We'll now that's just unfair, you saw us have one dinner with one person that we obviously were suspicious of from the get go and considering you had to think about it before saying we aren't your ... Nemain interrupts you: Focus, Johnny. You don't have much time left. She's gone. Taki will be back soon, you have time for ONE of these: 1. Get naked. Wear condom. 2. Get naked. Don't wear condom. 3. Text The Show. Ask for help. 4. Wait for Taki to come back, ask her to show you evidence of your father's company's misdoings. 5. Wait for Taki to come back, ask her to tell you about Fred.
>>800444 Don't get naked; you want her to go take her time freshening up. Look up something on your phone that corroborates her mention of your father's company doing the things she said it did.
5 but in a way that doesn't reveal stuff we shouldn't know. Like, don't name Fred if she hasn't mentioned it by name.
>>800460 >5 but in a way that doesn't reveal stuff we shouldn't know. Like, don't name Fred if she hasn't mentioned it by name. She revealed Fred's name during the Q&A period, remember? It could behoove you to review how we got here originally to avoid future mistakes. After you thank Taki for the milk and cookies, you ask her about the Fred she mentioned earlier and if you could meet him. Taki: Well... I could introduce you, but are you sure you want to meet the family already? Isn't there some *other* parts of my "life" you'd like to get more *familiar* with first? Decide on one. 1. You'd like to meet Fred. 2. You'd like to get familiar with (X). 3. Tell her that her ass looks so great you could eat it.
1. Jesus christ stay on plan
>>800567 I am against any plan that involves dealing with Fred in any way before Taki is more impressed with US. 3.
>>800533 You could tell her that you're feeling a bit daring and have a bit of an exhibitionist streak, so you'd love to see her garden/greenhouse and spend some intimate time together there.
>>800569 Agreed. 3
>#3 with two votes. >You could tell her that you're feeling a bit daring and have a bit of an exhibitionist streak, so you'd love to see her garden/greenhouse and spend some intimate time together there. Taki: Are you serious? She's blushing and her tail has popped straight up. You get the distinct feeling Taki is really bad at poker. Or at least poker involving ass eating. You nod and give her a wicked smile. Taki: Well... just give me a little bit to freshen up, please. I'm gonna hold you to that promise, but want you to see me at my freshest. Taki sets the snack down on the table and saunters off to the bathroom, making an effort to swing her hips in a sexy way. You know you have at least 15 minutes to prepare. What do you do? You have time for 3 before she returns; each action takes a turn. 1. Drink the milk, eat the cookies, and hope it acts as a preventive measure against her lipstick poison. 2. Spank one off so you hopefully last longer. 3. Quickly scout the greenhouse. You can spend up to 3 turns searching it. 4. Bar the door to the bathroom. Note that when she realizes she's stuck she will A. realize something's wrong and B. be really pissed off. It will buy you more time though. 5. Search her bedroom. You may be detected given its proximity to the bedroom and her being a ninja; you can also only do this 2 turns maximum since you know she comes here to change. 6. Text the show for help. 7. Get naked. Oil yourself up.
1 and 6. It's about time we asked for help, also keep an eye out for any strangely colored vines that could signify Fred is around
>>800713 1,2,6
>1,2,6 Multi-tasking has never been an issue, although in retrospect not a great combo with milk drinking. You text the show for help. Surprisingly enough, it replies and asks if you want contact information for BETA or VEGAS. This is not the kind of help you were expecting but at the same time, given the show's reputation perhaps more help than you thought, too.
What do you do? You have time for ONE and you know Taki is in the bedroom by now. 1. Get help from BETA. 2. Get help from VEGAS. 3. Quickly scout the greenhouse. 4. Get naked. Oil yourself up.
>>800774 BETA sounds good, and since we have no idea what they are it's as good as anything. Also, VEGAS sounds like a bit of a gamble.
We know what Beta is. She is a space police. ...Huh. Does oiling up give a bonus to grapple check?
1 See if beta can use her police connections to find out more about the shit are dad is up too. (Also if she wants to date later)
>>800804 BETA is indeed galactic police. You're not sure if she has any special legal powers on Earth, but she's dealt with a lot of crap. And yes, being oiled up DOES have an impact in grappling. You will have a harder time maintaining a hold, but you will be nearly impossible to grapple yourself. Do you text BETA? [Y/N]
I think I would rather be oiled. I have seen too many plant tentacle scenarios. Makin me nervous.
>>800817 Y and get lubed up the guy above me has got me nervous
Beta is easy to contact and she's happy to hear from you. Beta: Hey Johnny! So dating a NINJA isn't working out for you too well huh? >See if beta can use her police connections to find out more about the shit are dad is up too. (Also if she wants to date later) Beta: Earth's outside my jurisdiction unless there are illegal aliens involved. And by 'aliens' I mean 'foreign to your planet'. So I don't know what shady stuff your dad might be up to, and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it unless it involved forces outside of Earth anyway. Well, not legally. I can whup ass if you need me to though -- I just can't arrest anyone afterwards. And obviously, I can't kill anything that's not an alien and even then, as a cop there's a load of paperwork to fill out if I do. But baby, I can WHUP ASS from dusk till dawn and as long as people live through it I'm GOOD AS GOLD. I can be there in 15 minutes if you don't mind collateral damage. 30 min if I have to find a parking space. BETA can help you! Do you want her to RUSH IN and cause collateral damage or take 30 min and find a parking space? Or do you decline her offer to help? You note that Beta didn't exactly wait for you to ask for her help, nor does she seem to care if anyone actually needs a whupp'n. She seems rather impulsive. Also you have OILED UP and are now VERY DIFFICULT TO GRAB (and suitably lubed for anal).
>>800894 You're job is kinda bs considering earthlings would be aliens to like every other planet. I'm assuming that whatever kinda police this is it originates from earth and we are some kinda dumb force that enforces our ow-.... You can take your time parking.
>>800920 If earthlings were causing trouble on another planet then Beta would be called in to deal with them. Her jurisdiction is aliens making trouble, native politics and law is not.
>>800927 I apologize for assuming
I mean, that demon plant thing might count as an alien? Little Audrey was at least. Worth investigating, but probably no need to rush. We can buy half an hour.
>>800894 We think she's dating a murderous alien, so that probably needs to go. We're going to try have her decide to not murder people, but could use some backup in case she decides to keep at it and start with us.
>>800944 Yeah, we think she might be dating and/or controlled by an alien. We don't want her arrested, we want the alien arrested once we can confirm suspicions. Make it very clear who the target is here: Fred, not Taki. Ask her how close she can get so she can blast in if we manage to get confirmation on this.
>Ask her how close she can get so she can blast in if we manage to get confirmation on this. She's already been instructed to find a parking space, otherwise she would have smashed in through the roof. You don't have time for any more planning when Taki strides in, purposefully swinging her hips. Taki: All right hot stuff, are you ready to eat some ass like you promised? Feel free to do more than that too. She seems pleased you are oiled up and naked, placing her hands around your neck and straddling one of your legs. You can feel the heat coming off her. What do you do? 1. Eat ass, avoid anal penetration until she is begging for it. You're not sure how long this will take. Last time you made out a lot more and warmed her up. Then again, last time you smacked her ass too hard too. 2. Make out (trusting the milk/Beta should counter poison impact), eat ass, anal penetration when she seems wet enough. You should be done shortly before Beta arrives. 3. Take your time; it took awhile for the poison to kick in after multiple applications and you. There is a chance Beta will arrive before you finish. 4. Eat ass, anal penetration when she's wet enough. You want to be finished before Beta arrives and things go nuts.
1. but first read her a poem "Hot Leg; Hot Hot Leg; Leg so hot; you could fry an egg; Hot Leg."
>>801193 1
I'm handling the sex a bit differently this time to minimizing bitching and because this is your second chance anyway. This is off the top of my head. You (Johnny) SKILL of 9 STAMINA of 16 Taki Skill: 10 Stamina: 23 Each round lasts a minute. You have a maximum of 30 minutes before Beta arrives. So I'm having TGCHan roll 60 D6 (2D6/rnd) to start, because y'all wanna see the rolls. We're going to have stamina represent a combination of maximum excitement levels and actual fatigue. Every successful skill roll reduces Taki's stamina by 3 points, otherwise she loses 1 point. Every 3 rounds, you lose 1 point. At 50% stamina she'll ask for penetration; you will go one extra round past this point since you want to push her over the edge if possible. Taki would normally drain 3 Stamina/rnd of penetration, but cranking one off previous will help you last longer so for the first 5 rnds you'll only lose 1 pt, and then only 2 pts for the next 5 after that. If you get to a point where you're trying not to cum too soon, you will automatically skill roll to avoid doing so. Note that if Beta arrives while you're still having sex, the date will more than likely begin to go poorly. Fair? Fair. This mess will not occur for a sex scene with Paula in Date 3, for those curious.
rolled 6, 3, 2, 2, 3, 2, 4, 3, 6, 4, 5, 3, 4, 5, 2, 4, 5, 4, 3, 6, 6, 5, 6, 2, 4, 3, 6, 4, 2, 2, 4, 1, 4, 6, 2, 6, 2, 6, 3, 1, 3, 2, 4, 1, 1, 6, 4, 5, 3, 6, 5, 3, 5, 4, 4, 3, 6, 3, 6, 1 = 226 Rolling.
Breakdown Johnny Skill: 9 Stamina: 16 Taki Skill: 10 Stamina: 23 6, 3 Roll 9, Success, Taki Sm = 20 2, 2 Roll 4, success, Taki Sm = 17 3, 2 Roll 5, success, Taki sm = 14 4, 3 Roll 7, success, Taki sm = 11 6, 4 Roll 10, Fail, Taki sm = 10; Penetration begins. You: 5, 3 = 8, success, Taki sm = 7 Taki: 4, 5 = 9, success, your sm = 15 You: 2, 4 = 6, success, Taki sm = 4 Taki: 5, 4 = 9, success, your sm = 14 You: 3, 6 = 9, success, Taki sm = 1 Taki: 6, 5 = 11, fail, your sm = 14 You: 6, 2 = 8, success, Taki sm - 2 Taki: 4, 3 = 7, success, your sm = 13 Time: 13 min. This is probably the least sexy way I have seen sex described. However, the long and short of it is that you get Taki to climax in 13 min. With the pressure to survive off, you can pop one off yourself or you can try to hold off and see if you can get Taki to climax multiple times before Beta arrives. If you just let yourself go, you'll be done in 5 minutes or less and have a little over ten minutes for cuddling and pillow talk. Trying to get Taki to climax again might wear her out. Then again, she's a ninja tanuki-girl. It might not. But your ego will be rather massaged. (the rest of the rolls past the 13 min mark discarded) What do you do? Illustration will follow decision. 1. Finish, commence pillow talk. 2. Attempt to wear her out before Beta arrives.
>>801212 1 We need to convince her there's better ways to achieve her goals.
>>801212 1. Judging off this we did good right?
>Judging off this we did good right? Yes, you did well. Before you can begin, Taki's ninja skills still lets her get a good long kiss in... but she's a good kisser and it's hard to resist even knowing full well her lips are poisoned. You hope the milk neutralizes it, but Beta will be here pretty soon anyway. Things go pretty much well the same as before until you penetrate her; pulling one off prior really helps your stamina and the fact that the toxins haven't been in your system long is good too. Taki is as tight as you remember, and just as enthusiastic. From this position, you feel her tail slip between your legs. It tickles in a good sort of way but you keep focused -- knowing your survival depends on it helps a lot. Pretty soon Taki is very, very much into it, gripping you with her legs while you grasp her tiny body by the waist and begin to really thrust into her. She starts stammering unintelligible Japanese again until she suddenly stops massaging her clit and breasts and instead grips your wrists as hard as she can, releasing what sounds like a sexy battle cry. You hear the spatter of a hot juices against your waist and feel them drip down your legs. Taki continues to grip you hard and grunts through gritted teeth. Somewhat relieved, you continue to thrust and just enjoy the sensations. Taki's grip on you weakens and her breathing is hoarse. After a couple of minutes, she resumes clamping down on you -- probably an effort to help you finish. You unload. It's not nearly as powerful as before, but it is certainly sweeter knowing that Taki is not likely going to kill you. Not yet at least. Taki goes limp; she's surprisingly heavy for such a tiny lady but still easy for you to carry and you bring her over to the couch to cuddle with her. Taki: ... mmmm.... domo arigato, Johnny-san. The goofy grin on her face lets you know she's intentionally being cheesie. Taki: Y'know Johnny... I think I might just want to keep you. You hear a rustling from towards the back of the house. What do you do? 1. Ask her if she's proposing marriage. 2. Ask her if the other man in her life -- Fred -- might get jealous. 3. Tell her you're going to try to talk to your dad about the company's practices. 4. Something else?
3, and insinuate that if talking isn't getting anywhere, maybe the two of you can work out something more drastic together I think optimal scenario here is Taki likes us and Fred is starting to get aggressive when Beta gets here.
>>801239 Sounds good. >>801229 Also holy moly smik
>>801243 ... is that a good or bad holy moly? I haven't tried to draw porn in ages.
>>801229 3 Also, that you'll start quietly getting information so you can go to the media if he refuses - when the son of the CEO comes out with proof of malfeasance, that's guaranteed national airtime.
>>801229 2, sort of: don't mention Fred, just say it as a joke as though she's already in a relationship with her plants in general. >>801249 Good holy, and good moly. >>801280 This; you can bring attention to it in a way that a random person can't. But only if you can't change things from within.
>3, and insinuate that if talking isn't getting anywhere, maybe the two of you can work out something more drastic together Taki: Sssshhh... Johnny... you're spoiling the moment. That was AMAZING. There's only ever been one other time I've been reamed like that and while you're not quite as... filling, you're so much hotter.
Taki: I... definitely want to keep you, Johnny.
Taki: ... I'll be frank, I never expected tonight to turn out like this. There's just one thing we need to...
Suddenly, Taki is ensnared by a tentacle-like green appendage and thrust into the air roughly. Taki: B-baby?! Fred: Oh, I'm sorry sweet-cheeks, but we're done with "Baby" now.
Another, heavier plant-tentacle wraps around you, and begins to squeeze. Fred: See, I'm wasn't real-real thrilled about this guy intruding on my territory. But THEN I realized he's been touched by something. He's NOT supposed to be here. I didn't really know until after he burst a rope in your fine little ass and my spores started to sense it. This boy... has the mark of death on him. He's been allowed to come back. He got a FREE PASS. Girl, I know you wanted me to make him into some little green boy-toy and y'know, I might have been cool with that if he hadn't gone and shown me up. Fred increases the pressure of his grip on you. Fred: But see, I can USE him. I just have to ... y'know... soften him up a little. Break him down. Fred squeezes a little more. Fred: Digest him, is what I'm saying. Taki: Baby, please... Fred: I told you, we done with the 'baby' phase of our relationship. I'm gonna have to punish you, and you won't like it at first, but then I think you'll learn to like it a lot. But as for Johnny boy...
*squip* Fred: Oh for fuck's sake.
Can we get a grip on the couch? If not can we like ram it into him? Cause we are so big and strong and shit.
You: That's right you cheap Little Shop of Knockoff Discount Audrey II, you messed with the WRONG Johnny! This Johnny is friends with THE GRIM REAPER! Taki: Really? Fred: You fulla shit. Taki: Like, the scary, skull-face, scythe-wielding Death itself? You: No, the cute freckle-faced nerd goat girl hostess of The Show. Taki: The Rogue-Like Electric Boogaloo Blind Date Show's hostess is Death? You: A death. Apparently there's like, a bunch or something. I guess. Taki: ... that... actually makes sense in a way. Fred: WHAT? The hell it does! Well Mr. Friends with the least imposing-sounding DEATH I have ever heard, what's your big plan now? Is she gonna show up and save your ass? Is she coming from my mean green soul? You: ... well she never said that. Like, she said she usually takes out immortals. Fred: Boy, you are FUCKED. You just held off dying just long enough to make me a nice little snack. Taki: Johnny? For what it's worth... you were a really nice date! You: You too, Taki! Matter of fact, that's the whole reason why I came back from the dead! Because you were a real nice date, we just had bad circumstances. Taki: ... That's very sweet Johnny. You: I will turn you to the side of good, Taki! An eyestalk pops open on one of Fred's tentacles. It and Taki exchange a look. Fred: You're kind of an idiot, Johnny. I hope you had a better plan than just posing and talking. Fred raises a good point. What IS your plan now? BETA should arrive in about 9 MINUTES. Although you're not quite sure what she'll do when she arrives. You have 9 Skill and 8 Stamina remaining (sex is tiring). 1. Stall by talking. You must supply the argument. 2. Stall by running and taunting. You will need to make 9 skill checks. Every failed skill check will cost you 2 points of Stamina to compensate/you get smacked instead of grabbed. If you run out of Stamina before Beta arrives, Fred will knock you silly and drag you towards the green house to be eaten. It will only take Fred 2 minutes to drag you to him and you will die from suffocation in 3, but Beta might be able to save your ass if you're close. 3. Forget stalling, start FIGHTING! You will of course need to find a weapon since while being oiled up has made you nearly impossible to combat-grapple, it's also going to make it hard for you to effectively make the most use of your strength in the same way. You could try punching Fred to death, but you will be at -3 to win any combat contests. You know there are really no appropriate weapons to fight a giant plant monster's tentacles in the living room, so you'll have to switch rooms to find one. You will need to make a successful combat roll to avoid being struck. 4. Taunt Fred that he will never be able to please Taki the way you did, no matter what he does -- tonight will be burned into her forever more. 5. Inform Fred that your ass is in fact superior to Taki's. Use your incredible STRENGTH to crush his probe if he tries. 6. Tell Fred that vore is your fetish. Begin to wank in front of him.
3. Can we run to the bathroom and dry our hands off first? that should only take seconds and it would allow us to grip better.
>>801482 That is a 3-room travel, requiring 3 separate skill checks. As a tactical note, you can only screw up 4 times before you run out of stamina. You can extend the number of times by successfully testing your luck (lose 1 point instead on a failed test), but if your luck test fails you'll lose an extra point of stamina instead.
>>801483 Im willing to take those odds. i must see this johnny in future Smik quests, He cannot be allowed to die!
>>801482 We don't need to do that. we can dry our hands off on any fabric surface, from carpet to the couch. Lets taunt him with 4, and challenge him to do better. Tell him he needs Taki, but she doesn't need him. If we can get him to waste time and energy we'll be in a much better position when the fighting starts.
3. Find a weapon. Ask her, "Where do you keep a naginata? I need to do some pruning!" And go to the appropriate room to find a bladed cutting polearm appropriate for fighting giant plants!
>If you ever come face to face with a creature that eats sentients, the safest thing to do is pretend you have a vore fetish. Creeps them right out and makes them lose their appetite. Then you slap them in the face with a forcestick. 6. While wanking wander off to another room to grab something to slap this asshole in the face with.
>>801488 This. Seems like good advice, at the cost of us having to explain ourselves to Taki afterward. Don't just start wanking, start describing the idea of being eaten whole in the most erotic way you can manage, and watch for Fred being skeeved out. If that isn't effective, or Fred suspects we might be less than genuine, then you could always use fire.
>>801522 > If that isn't effective, or Fred suspects we might be less than genuine, then you could always use fire. (And yes, I'm aware we're covered in oil.)
You are now torn between two plans of action. Also since you're dealing with a giant plant monster, a modifier comes to mind. 1. Fight! 2. Fight! But MUSICALLY! 3. Vore bluff! 4. Vore bluff! But MUSICALLY!
Oh Musical Vore buff all the way. How could we fucking not?!?!?
>>801561 This to the max.
>>801560 2. Also, call to Taki that he admitted to seeing her as property. She's her own person, and can make her own choices.
I say 2, I don't think Johnny here can bluff and sound genuine here.
>>801560 Let's go with 2.
We were specifically advised about the vore thing, better go for it.
>>798446 Shouldn't need to explain anything to Taki either, she was there when Beta said this, she should know what's up. Maybe use the confusion to find a weapon, but I want to stall without fighting as long as possible. Save the stamina cause I wanna fight WITH Beta, not be rescued by her.
>>801560 2. (Smik i love you for actually having his fingers in slightly different positions and not just changing his face.)
>>801560 4, or 3. Bluff as you have lived: lewdly and with great enthusiasm.
>>801719 This. Bluff to the best of your ability.
>>801572 Changing vote to 3 or 4 after it was pointed out that this was something we were specifically advised about.
>>801662 Thank-you for noticing. :) NSFW: Dick swing. You decide to act on Beta's earlier advice and bluff Fred into thinking you're into vore. Musically. With erotic dance. And dick swining. You: EAT ME! EAT ME! EAAAAAAT ME! Eat me, Seymore! Eat me all niiiight looooooooong! Eat me, Semore! Eat me aaaaaaalllllllll niiiiiiight looooooooong! You can do it! Because if you eat me, Seymore... ... you will grow up BIG and STROOOOOOOOOONG!
Fred unceremoniously kicks you out.
Taki: Geez that was rude, Fred. I kinda liked it. It was sexy.
Taki joins you outside.
Taki: FRED YOU MUTHAFUCKER! YOU CAN'T JUST KICK ME OUT OF MY OWN FUCKING HOUSE!! I TOOK YOUR MUTANT SPORE-ASS IN WHEN YOU WERE CHOKIN' ON SLUDGE!! BITCH I'M GONNA TRIM YOUR TRICK-ASS SPROUTS DOWN TO THE NUBS! I'M GONNA UPROOT YOU BY YOUR NUT-HAIRS! YOU DON'T FUCK WITH A NINJA YOU LITERAL SHIT-EATING FUCKING GOD DAMN FUCKING FUCKING ERRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
While Taki is ranting, you hear Beta stroll down the street. Beta: You gotta nice ass, Johnny. So does she. Any particular reason why you're both naked and she's screaming?
>>802339 "Friend of hers cockblocked us. Over there. Wanna get rid of him and have a threesome?" Point at Fred's giant face to the left of you all.
>>802339 "Sentient-eating space alien plant attacked. It's inside."
Followed your advice on what to do vs people eating things, it worked.
"We're trying out this new exhibitionism fetish we discovered we had. Want to join us?"
>>802342 >>802346 these plus a thank you!
>>802333 I don't suppose you want to burn the place down for the insurance now, huh?
>"We're trying out this new exhibitionism fetish we discovered we had. Want to join us?" >"Friend of hers cockblocked us. Over there. Wanna get rid of him and have a threesome?" Beta: Hell yeah! Taki gasps. Taki: What the hell? What are you? WHO are you? Beta: FUTA FORCE! I'm a galactic cop, here 'cause Johnny told me you might have had an illegal alien of issue. Taki: You mean you... Beta: Have EVERYTHING and it ALL WORKS! Taki: No, not that! What the fuck Johnny, why would you call the cops on me? Beta: GALACTIC COPS. I'm only interested in Fred because he could be an illegal alien, and it's my duty to protect a planet's native populous from alien threats. I'm not authorized to do anything about activities deemed illegal within your government. Taki: Do you have a... badge or something? Beta runs over to her discarded outfit, and pulls out a little pamphlet and hands it to Taki. Taki looks it over. Taki: I just realized I have no way of determining if anything here is legit. But you're here for FRED, not me, right? Beta: Unless you want a threesome. >Followed your advice on what to do vs people eating things, it worked. >these plus a thank you! Beta: Of course! You're welcome! Taki: I'm not sure I'm comfortable with a threesome with... whatever you are. Beta: Well, I could take Johnny off your hands. Taki: I'm not so sure of THAT, either. >I don't suppose you want to burn the place down for the insurance now, huh? Taki: No way! I have precious family heirlooms! Plus I've also got a few chemicals that would ruin my greenhouse if there was a fire. You ask Taki why she has plant-killing chemicals if she loves plants so much. Taki: I'm a ninja. We naturally expect betrayal. So I stowed some chemicals to kill Fred if he ever turned on me. But I'd really prefer to not use them since it'd ruin my greenhouse. Beta: Well, if Fred's really a mean green mother from outer space, then I'd have a mess of paperwork if we kill him. If he's not, then I don't care. Your house, lady. Taki: How are you gonna arrest a giant mutant plant anyway? Beta: Oh, well in the case of plants I just have to bring a clipping back. So the way I see it, we just get a clipping and then kill him and our bases are covered regardless. So, I can bash through the front door or go through your garden wall. If we go through the front door... Taki: I can get my agent orange. I don't wanna use it but I will if I have to. Beta: Fred might have some dirty tricks that route. We can also go through the garden wall. It's more direct. Taki: But Johnny and I are unarmed. There's a small hidden cache of gear in the garden but we'll have to get to it first. Beta: I figure Fred shouldn't be too much trouble for me. But hey, your choice. Your house will take more damage if we go that route. You look at Taki. You: We're cool, right? You're not creeped out by that vore bluff? Taki: What? No, I don't care if you're into vore. You're into anal too, so that's fine. Umm... Johnny? You: Yes? Taki: I think we should go through the front door. I need to get you an antidote. What do you do? 1. Go through the front door. 2. Go through the garden wall. OPTIONAL #1 (you can do either or both of these): 3. Tell Taki you already knew about the poison and drank milk to counter it. 4. Tell Taki the whole story about how you've been given a second chance. 5. Be a little freaked out by Beta's dick. 6. Be a little turned on by Beta's dick. OPTIONAL #2 (you can only pick one as they are not compatible): A. Convince Taki to try a three way with Beta. You will need to provide an argument. B. Ask Beta for a date afterwards. This will most assuredly tick Taki off but she's not going to do anything to you while Fred has taken over her house.
>Taki: I think we should go through the front door. I need to get you an antidote. Bluff. Don't reveal we knew about it advance. "That's sweet of you, but I don't feel poisoned. Maybe the dose was wrong, or I have a lucky resistance, or... like that thing with grapefruit making drugs not work? What did I have for breakfast again?" >6. Be a little turned on by Beta's dick. >OPTIONAL #2 (you can only pick one as they are not compatible): Probably should wait to see how the fight goes before we decide on either. Like, if Taki decides she hates us and never wants to see us again after her house gets wrecked, moving on to B is more reasonable. Or if things go well and we bond as a team, A becomes easier.
>>802451 >Or if things go well and we bond as a team, A becomes easier That's why it's optional. It's not a one-shot deal. You may get the chance later.
>>802442 go through the front door but let Taki go first because she is a ninja who knows the territory. 3, and hold off on A and B until bondage.
Tell Taki you were kind of expecting poisoned something from a ninja, it's all cool, you took care of it. Also, voting against 6 but not for 5. No strong feeling either way.
>>802451 Yeah, I mean, maybe ask if the milk she gave you would have helped with that poison. I am not super confident we aren't poisoned, it took a while to manifest last time, and we delayed its application considerably this time. Besides, I'd like to have something in hand besides our rock hard erection to beat this plant into submission with, so door seems good.
>>802442 1. 4, but later. Explaining things now would take too long. 6 A (Beta's a real anal fiend, and is crazy strong)
Beta uses her FUTA FORCE BATTERING RAM! The sight of her mighty futa force makes Taki squeak and leap into your arms. Taki: FUCK BALLS! You... you... didn't that hurt? Beta smiles and gives you a thumbs-up. Taki stares at you wide eyed and hisses "Keep her away from me, OK? I mean, I like being filled but she just took my front door off its hinges with that thing,"
rolled 1, 1, 2, 5, 6, 3, 5, 2, 3, 2, 4, 3 = 37 You let Taki lead the way, but as soon as you enter the front hall, 3 FRED SPAWN VINETACLES rush from the greenhouse entrance! You must FIGHT! Johnny Skill: 6 (-3 for unarmed) Stamina: 8 Luck: 10 Taki Skill: 7 (-3 for unarmed) Stamina: 11 Beta Skill: 10 Stamina: 20 --= VS =-- Fred Vinetacle 1: Skill: 6 Stamina: 5 Fred Vinetacle 2: Skill: 5 Stamina: 7 Fred Vinetacle 3: Skill: 7 Stamina: 6 The FRED VINETACLES seem focused on YOU, determined to taken you down and drag you away. Fortunately, it means that each Vinetacle must deal with attacks from Taki and Beta. You may test your luck to inflict additional damage or take less, depending on circumstances. There are 6 combatants, each rolling 2D6 and adding it to their skill. The first three pairs are Johnny, Taki and Beta respectively while the last 3 are Fredtacles. A Fredtacle must beat Johnny's, Taki's AND Beta's roll to land a hit on Johnny. Equal rolls tie and do no damage. Strikes do a base of 2 damage; Johnny's does 4. You may test your luck to do double damage if you hit; but failing to do so means the Fredtacle takes 1 point instead. If struck, you may test your luck to take only 1 pt of damage, failure means taking 3.
NSFW due to full-frontal combat. 1, 1 2, 5 6, 3 5, 2 3, 2 4, 3 Johnny Combat Roll: 2 + 6 = 8 Taki Combat Roll: 7+7 = 14 Beta Combat Roll: 10+6+3 =19 Fredtacle 1 Combat Roll: 6+7 = 13 Fredtacle 2 Combat Roll: 5+3+2 = 10 Fredtacle 3 Combat Roll: 7+4+3 = 14 This round: Beta and Taki stop all the attacks, landing hits on Fredtacles 1 and 2.
rolled 4, 5, 2, 1, 4, 3, 6, 3, 5, 2, 4, 2 = 41 Johnny Skill: 6 (-3 for unarmed) Stamina: 8 Luck: 10 Taki Skill: 7 (-3 for unarmed) Stamina: 11 Beta Skill: 10 Stamina: 20 --= VS =-- Fred Vinetacle 1: Skill: 6 Stamina: 3 Fred Vinetacle 2: Skill: 5 Stamina: 5 Fred Vinetacle 3: Skill: 7 Stamina: 6
Everyone is still naked, NSFW Johnny Combat Roll 6+4+5 = 15 Taki Combat Roll 7+2+1 = 10 Beta Combat Roll 10+4+3 = 17 --= VS =-- Fred Vinetacle 1 Combat Roll 6+6+3 = 15 Stamina: -1 Fred Vinetacle 2: Combat Roll 5+5+2 = 12 Stamina: 3 Fred Vinetacle 3: Combat Roll 7+4+2 = 13 Stamina: 6 Beta and Johnny strike down the Fredtacles! Fredtacle 1 is DEAD due to Johnny's massive strength! Fredtacle 2 takes 2 damage!
rolled 3, 5, 5, 5, 1, 6, 3, 1, 1, 6 = 36 Johnny Taki Beta --= VS =-- Fred Vinetacle 2: Stamina: 3 Fred Vinetacle 3: Stamina: 6
Johnny Combat Roll 6+3+5 = 14 Taki Combat Roll 7+5+5 = 17 Beta Combat Roll 10+1+6 = 17 --= VS =-- Fred Vinetacle 2: Combat Roll: 5+3+1 = 9 Stamina: -1 Fred Vinetacle 3: Combat Roll: 7+1+6 = 14 Stamina: 2 Johnny, Taki and Beta strike the Fredtacles down! Fredtacle 2 is DEAD from Johnny's massive strength! Fredtacle 3 takes 4 damage from Taki and Beta's combined attacks!
rolled 5, 4, 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 5 = 32 You'd think I'd get the roll and update combination right at least once.
Johnny Combat Roll: 6+5+4 = 15 Taki Combat Roll: 7+4+5 = 16 Beta Combat Roll: 10+6+1 = 17 Fredtacle Combat Roll: 7+2+5 = 14 Fredtacle goes SPLAT! Johnny and Party are Victorious! Taki: OK, we gotta move fast! Fred probably knows where some of my weapons are, and I wouldn't be surprised if he can use them too. You may now decide: 1. Get the Agent Orange from Taki's hiding place in the kitchen. 2. Get weapons from Taki's armoury. 3. Get weapons from Taki's bedroom. 4. Command Fred to surrender to Galactic Police FUTA FORCE.
I have the sensation that the armory would be a high value target and heavily guarded by armed Fredspawn. He might not be aware of all the hidden weapons in the bedroom though. Taki said she only found him recently. So 3.
>>802688 Agent Orange. Taki is a Ninja. If she can sneak attack that mean green mother with it then he's dead.
3. Bedweapondry
You go to Taki's bedroom to obtain weapons. There are no Fredtacles there; apparently your hunch about him guarding the known caches was right. Taki removes a hidden panel from the wall and obtains a KATANA as well as a couple of small spheres. She then digs under the bed and pulls out... DILDO BOKKEN. (Image NSFW due to Dildo Bokken) And hands it to you. She just handed you a weaponized dildo. To use on a giant plant. Taki: YES I KNOW JOHNNY. But do you have any idea how dangerous it is for an untrained brute like you to use an incredibly sharp, elegant weapon like a katana? You could accidentally slice yourself to ribbons. The bokken is effectively a club. Oh, and there's a couple of hidden things in the hilt. She shows you to push in a small switch at the base of the weapon, and twists something on the bottom. A sharp spike shoots out the top. Taki: It's not poisoned, but it will do some extra damage that way. Both you and Beta stare at Taki. Taki waves your gazes away dismissively: I'm a ninja. You and Taki are now ARMED and no longer have a skill penalty in combat. Taki: We better move quickly; if Fred has spread his tentacles across the house like this, he might even be rooted in the foundations. Beta: So he might collapse the house on us like in Little Shop of Horrors? Taki: Yeah. Beta: Can we sing while fighting? Taki stares at Beta incredulously. Taki: ... if ... you want... Now what will you do? 1. Obtain Agent Orange. Taki suspects you will be attacked en route. You will then need to figure out how to deploy it -- it's toxic to people as well as plants! 2. Attack Fred directly in the greenhouse. Taki thinks that Fred might be caught off guard if you do so; he will have to withdraw his Fredtacles from other parts of the house.
>>803269 If he's aware of the Agent Orange, he probably already disposed of it. If he isn't, then he would have no reason to guard it and you could attack his roots in the basement with it. He probably knows about it, so rush him.
>>803269 Rush him.
>>803269 2. If we got to his main body could we use our superior strength to rip him out of the ground and taki can like cut off his roots?
Yeah rush him. No point in getting the orange if he's just gonna collapse the house on us. Also, Smik, would it be possible to color the Dildo Bokken in future updates? It feels... Appropriate.
You, Taki and Beta burst into the greenhouse. Fred waits for you -- and he takes up most of area. Fred: Well helllo there. So you went and called the cops on me huh? WELL THAT'S JUST FINE. I KNOW YOUR TRICKS NOW, and ONCE I GET JOHNNY, I'll be IMMORTAL AND YOUR ASS IS GRASS!
It's a MEAN GREEN BOSS FIGHT! Beta: From outer space? Fred: and MEAN, GREEN, BAD! Beta: Good, that means you're under my jurisdiction. Fred: Shit. FRED is spread out along the house! It will take 5 turns for him to fully reassemble his Fredtacles. FRED is made out of several parts: DEMON EYE - Skill 12, Stamina 20 PIN EYE - Skill 10, Stamina 10 SPIRAL EYE - Skill 10, Stamina 10 FREDTACLE 1 - Skill 8, Stamina 7 FREDTACLE 2 - Skill 9, Stamina 6 GIANT FREAKING MAW - Don't even think about it. The Fretacles and eyes are all sourced from the GIANT FREAKING MAW, which seems to act as the main root. The EYES can not attack. Draining their stamina blinds the eye but does not destroy it. Blinding one of Fred's eyes causes him a great deal of pain and will stun him for a round. Fred has enough 'back up' eyes that he's never completely blind. The Eyes's "Skill" indicates its ability to DODGE or angle itself so it takes a glancing blow that will not harm its stamina. Eyes can not be hit without an Alley-Oop or thrown weapon. The MAW does not directly attack either; only the Fredtacles are capable of defending him. The MAW is almost certainly suicide to attack directly. YOUR PARTY: Johnny - The Main Target Skill: 9 Stamina: 8 Luck: 10 Special: STRENGTH - inflicts double damage. Johnny can also "Alley-Oop" either Taki or Beta to attack Fred's eyes, which are normally out of reach. Johnny can also HURL DEBRIS at Fred; there's lots of it lying around. This attack is at -3 to hit as debris isn't optimized for throwing. Taki Skill: 10 Stamina: 11 Special: Ninja Bombs - 1 hollow (designed for custom poison deployment), 1 explosive, 1 smoke The Explosive Bomb detonates on contact, causing 10 damage. Taki needs a successful attack roll or it will miss. While the Maw cannot dodge, it can close itself and it's a massive with a thick epidermis. The Smoke Bomb explodes in an area. Taki does not need to make a skill roll to hit, and can blind one of Fred's eyes. Taki can also NINJA TRICK - she will vanish from the field of battle. She can then either attempt to get something to help from another part of the house, or land a surprise attack that does double damage. This takes 2 turns to do (one to vanish, one to attack) and she still has to roll a successful attack (but her target is at -4). If Taki attempts to instead retrieve something, it could take her several turns depending on how much trouble the other Fredtacles give her. Beta Skill: 10 Stamina: 20 Special: Spunk Shot - ranged, can hit eyes. Reduces target's skill by 4 and may horrify it. Galactic Scan - needs to be called, attack roll of 18 Galactic Stunner Beta can scan Fred to create an appropriate stunner shot. She needs an attack roll of 18 to land an attack that obtains enough of a sample for scanning. Scanning takes 3 turns. Afterwards, if she can land an attack she will completely immobilize Fred for 5 minutes. This attack will be -1 to hit each time it's used as Fred will be more and more wary of it (although she won't try to hit the Maw with it; too dangerous). If Beta's Galactic Scan fails to roll at least 18 she misses and does no damage, even if she rolls the highest. Fredtacles will always target Johnny first. You may assign someone to DEFEND Johnny; any Fredtacle going for him will have to beat both Defender and Johnny's attack roll to harm him, and failing either will result in the Fredtacle being struck for damage. Both Taki and Beta can elect to protect him at once. Fredtacles WILL change tactics after being hit and will fight the Defender (unless Johnny's the one who hit it of course) While DEFENDING, neither Taki nor Beta can use their specials. What do you do? SUGGEST AN ACTION for Johnny - such as naming a target. HURL DEBRIS requires a target to be named. ALLEY-OOP requires an ally to be named and a target to strike. Allies involved with ALLEY OOP can't do anything but attempt to strike the target. SUGGEST AN ACTION for Taki - you can name targets, tell her to DEFEND JOHNNY, or use a SPECIAL ATTACK. SUGGEST AN ACTION for Beta - you can name targets, tell her to DEFEND JOHNNY, or use a SPECIAL ATTACK.
>YOUR ASS IS GRASS! FLOWER POWER AINT GOT NOTHIN' ON US! Taki: EXPLOSIVES on Fredtacle 1 Johnny: Target Fredtacle 2 Beta: DEFEND Johny, Target Fredtacle 2 Destroy the Fredtacles quick before the ones from the house arrive so we don't get overwhelmed!
>>803387 What happens if Taki throws her explosive into the soft unprotected bits inside the Maw? General plan: Hold out until Fred gets his vines in here, then smoke bomb and run for the Agent Orange.
I'd say the explosive is better spent on one of the 10-stamina eyes for a stun. Johnny can attack Fredtacle 1, with double damage he should have a reasonable chance of one-shotting it despite its higher stamina. Beta can handle another fredtacle or whatever.
>>803398 You'll have to figure that out for yourself.
>>803511 That seems like advice. :D
>>803387 Spunk shot the demon eye and while it is screaming in rage and horror Taki goes to bomb the maw. Johnny HURL DEBRIS at tentacle 2.
Someone vote for a suggestion to break this 1 to 1 to 1 to 1 tie.
>>803388 Do this one
>>803398 Do that one.
>>804766 some people just want to watch the world burn
Being unable to come with a clear strategy you just wave your arms about and ramble on about several things at once.
Wait, that strategy is perfect! Run at it while waving your arms like that like a madman
Undaunted, Taki and Beta come up with a plan of their own.
BETA fires SPERM BOLO at the DEMON EYE! Attack Roll: 10+7=17 Demon Eye: 12+3=15
It strikes Fred dead in his demon eye. He is stunned in utter horror.
Fred: OK, if that was just a SET UP for something else, fuck this. I give up. Taki: Awww but I was gonna do something cool. Fred: No, I fucking give up. Any plan that STARTS with someone nutting in my eye I do not wish to see any more of.
>>806987 Taki, don't listen to Fred! This is just a trick to make you let your guard down! Go ahead and do your cool thing!
Fred surrenders completely; Beta has him transported in the galaxy police version of a squad car and takes him away on charges of environmental terrorism and interference of a minor world. As you watch them leave, you feel your strength fade. You sink to your knees and then to the floor. Taki initially thinks you're just losing consciousness due to the toxins, but then something happens to your pallor and she rushes to your side. Taki: Johnny? You try to speak, but your lips don't respond. You feel very cold. Taki: Johnny?! Oh shit... Johnny, hang on. Hang on, I'll get an antidote. You're just... having a reaction to something, OK? It's not her poison. You know this.
Nem: I never promised a happy ending, Johnny. Just ... a chance to change it. I'm sorry, I don't have the energy to keep you alive any longer. You think you understand. Taki can suddenly see Nem, and she feels the chill in the room. Taki: Wha... wh... Nem: I think you know who and what I am. Taki: You're... WAIT YOU'RE NEM THE SHOW'S HOST! Nem: Well, it's sort of one of my part time jobs, if you will. But this is my day job, so to speak. Taki: But... why? I... I didn't use a fatal lipstick... Nem: It's not the lipstick, Taki. Taki: Then why? Nem: Johnny's been dead since the cab ride, Taki. I've been keeping him alive as best I could, and now my energy has run out. I have to take him away now. Taki: Dead? How? Nem: Something very bad happened on your date. Johnny wished for a second chance, and due to the connections he had with me... I was able to give him one. So I took him as far back in the date as I could do alter the outcome. Taki: But... he didn't. Nem: Oh no, he did Taki. He did everything he wanted to do. Taki: What do you mean? Nem: The reason he came back was to save you and prevent the deaths of many innocents. But mostly, I think it was about you. Taki is quiet. Your body has gone cold, and you are privileged in having the unique experience of feeling your spirit separate from its shell; most people are too busy being unconscious to appreciate it. After several minutes, Taki speaks. Taki: ... how did he die, originally?
Nem's voice goes icy. Nem: You know what you were going to do. Taki: I changed my mind. Nem: No you didn't. Taki: NO! I DID! Nem: You know full well that I mean when I say no, you didn't Taki. Taki is silenced as this sinks in. Nem: He came back to save you anyway. Taki: Did I die too, originally? Nem: We all die, Taki. I don't think he wasn't interested in saving your body. Nem takes you away.
In the time that followed, Taki abandoned all environmental terrorism. She abandoned her poisons, and she abandoned assassination. You succeeded in turning her. Chiseled on to your tombstone is the legendary phrase "Doesn't matter: Fucked a ninja in the ass. Twice". Your achievements inspire other legends throughout time. Date over.
R.I.P, Beta never got none.
>>807013 Taki X Beta?
>>807015 >>807013 Beta gets plenty, just not on screen. She also really creeps Taki out so no Taki x Beta.
>>806994 Did you have this planned since the beginning of the "second chance", or just since the indecision of the battle?
>>807050 I had this planned very early on after giving Johnny the second chance. If Johnny was eaten by Fred, then it would make him immortal and thus Nem would be allowed to kill him. If Johnny survived to the end he'd die shortly after victory and thus we had the ending we did -- and Nem would reveal to Taki the whole situation so she would be shamed into changing her ways. I knew it would be a major mood whiplash but it was also the only thing that meshed properly with Nem's lore.
I can't believe I missed this whole quest. Loved it tho!