Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)05:43 No. 699196 ID: 6a4605
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"OUT OF MY WAY UNHOLY ABOMINATION!"

Deathknight: "OUCH! R-RUDE I W-WASN'T FINISHED T-TAlkin..

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)05:44 No. 699197 ID: 6a4605
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"I HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE WITH UNSIGNIFICANT THREATS LIKE YOU. FOR I AM ON..."

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)05:47 No. 699199 ID: 6a4605
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HERE IT IS, KONDA'S THRONE ROOM !

"FACE ME, YOU MONSTROUS NECROMANCER! FOR I AM HERE FOR

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)05:48 No. 699200 ID: 6a4605
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YOU..."

OK THIS IS HIGHLY UNPROFESSIONAL. THERE IS NO ONE HERE.

IT'S EMPTY.

WAIT... MAYBE NOT. I CAN CLEARLY HEAR VOICES COMING FROM THE TAPESTRY ON THE LEFT.

A TRAP PERHAPS?

slash down the tapestry, aim high, and dodge out of the way after the slash. examine aftermath.

Check inventory. If you have a ranged weapon, pelt the curtain.

It's definitely a trap. The throne is the necromancer, cleverly disguised. Destroy it.

Plunge your sword through the highest skull on the throne. Tis most suspicious.

Then carefully look behind the tapestry. It might be a ruse for you to harm a kidnapped princess or whatnot.

>>699200
Sit in the throne, wait patently for the necromancer to arrive. They must be late!

Leave the voices alone, eavesdropping is rude.

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)10:31 No. 699221 ID: 6a4605
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MMMH THE THRONE MIGHT BE THE ACTUAL TRAP THEN.

BETTER SMASH IT!

MH. IT WAS JUSTA THRONE. AN EVIL THRONE. NO REGRETS.

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)10:32 No. 699223 ID: 6a4605
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BUT THEN MAYBE THE TRAP IS ACTUALLY BEHIND THE CURTAINS!

AH-HAH!

NO... BUT THERE IS A DOOR BEHIND THE CURTAINS.

LET'S SEE WHAT'S BEHIND IT.

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)10:32 No. 699224 ID: 6a4605
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...

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)10:33 No. 699225 ID: 6a4605
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Konda: "Hah! This show is the best. Hahahahahah!"

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)10:35 No. 699226 ID: 6a4605
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Konda: "Uh?"

"..."

Konda: "Fpt! Oh crap! Was the dungeon raid today?"

HIGHLY UNPROFESSIONAL...

>>699226

YES. IT WAS.

The code of holy honor permits you TEN MINUTES TO CLEAN UP AND GET READY TO FACE YOUR RIGHTEOUS JUDGEME- are those dirty clothes in the background. HAVE YOU NOT EVEN DONE YOUR LAUNDRY YOU FIEND?

Listen lady we are a MOST PROFESSIONAL HOLY WARRIOR, we have seen a LOT of evil lairs and so far this is coming in at a very lowly TWO OUT OF FIVE STARS, which you have only received for having a nice evil throne room and a pretty cool minion. And the way things are going you are going to slip down to one star, much less manage to climb up! Nither of us are going to get tales of our villainy/righteousness spread across the land, this way.

How long have you been doing this?

OH FOR THE LOVE OF THING.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHILE YOU GET READY, LOOT THE PLACE BEFORE I'VE DEFEATED YOU? THAT'S LIKE EATING DESERT BEFORE DINNER.

>>699226
Tell her you're going to have to give her a bad review on Dungeon Seekers.

>>699226
Yes.

Do I need to reschedule, or do you have a boss prepared?

Ask her on a date.

Realise that she is still in her night gown. As a man of holiness, avert your gaze to preserve your honour and avoid uncomfortable contact with your armour.

>>699224
Wait, is that Tale of an Original Revenge? That show's great.
Honor arbitrarily restored, that shit's great

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)12:34 No. 699249 ID: 6a4605
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"YOU WERE EXPECTING ME?"

Konda: "W-well yeah, i have a bit of knowledge about divination. I use it to know when someone is going to come here to see m

"AND YOU ARE STILL HERE IN THIS ROOM? EATING? WAIT- ARE THOSE DIRTY CLOTHES ON THE GROUND?!

Konda: "I'M SORRY I'M SORRY! T-there was a marathon of my favourite show on the spherevision and i lost track of the time!"

"THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE!"

Konda: "I know! I know! L-listen i can still fix this. C-can you go back in the other room and give me five minutes?"

"WAIT YOU MEAN YOU ARE STILL IN YOUR NIGHTGOWN"

Konda: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

"FINE! FINE!"

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)12:38 No. 699250 ID: 6a4605
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UN-HOLY-BELIEVABLE!

IT'S NOT LIKE I'M BUSY? THIS IS LITTERALLY ONLY THE FIRST STEP IN MY QUEST IN THE MONSTERLANDS AND I HAD TO WAIT WAY TOO LONG ALREADY TO START IT!

TCH!

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)12:41 No. 699251 ID: 6a4605
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Konda: "Greetings, mortal"

"THERE YOU ARE!"

Konda: "I-uh. yes. Ah-hem. G-GREETINGS MORTAL! I AM THE GREAT SORCERESS KONDA! YOU CAME HERE TO SEEK MY DOOM OR MY AID?"

"..."

Konda: "Uuuh..."

"AID, I GUESS!"

Konda: "Alright, good. I mean... I see! Let me sit on my throne so we can discuss the conditions!"

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)12:46 No. 699252 ID: 6a4605
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Konda: "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY THRONE!"

"I THOUGHT IT WAS A TRAP AND DEALT WITH IT!"

Konda: "Oh noo... i haven't finished paying that yet..."

"SO ABOUT THOSE CONDITIONS?"

Konda: "EH? Oh, yes right! If you wish my aid, you need to prove yourself. You'll face my DEATHKNIGHT and if you manage to defeat you i will grant you my help! But beware! No one has ever defeated him!"

ALREADY DONE!

Been there done that.

Aid request: snake booty. Get on that, paladin.

>if you manage to defeat you i will grant you my help!

SO BE IT!

Begin punching yourself in the face repeatedly.

Ask why you should preform such a task for someone who just sits around in a nightgown eating and watching TV all day

Wait, since when do men of holiness seek aid from serpentine temptresses who have skull ornaments?

Inform her that her deathknight IS ALREADY DEAD.

>>699252
>AID I GUESS
Erm... what was your quest exactly? It sounded like you were here to fight her.

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)13:46 No. 699285 ID: 6a4605
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"YOU MEAN THE SKELETAL GUY WITH THE FLAMING EYES AND THE BARDICHE?"

Konda: "Uh... Yeah?"

"I DESTROYED HIM BEFORE GETTING IN THE THRONE ROOM."

Konda: "Oh? Okay... So... what do you need exactly?"

"YOUR ASS"

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)13:49 No. 699287 ID: 6a4605
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Konda: "WAIT WHAT! T-THAT'S TOO SUDDEN! W-WE BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER!"

"YOUR TAIL WILL BE ENOUGH, DON'T WORRY. I NEED IT FOR MY QUEST"

Konda: "WHAT KIND OF QUEST ARE YOU EVEN ON?!?"

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)13:53 No. 699288 ID: 6a4605
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"I CAME HERE IN THE MONSTERLANDS TO SEEK VENGEANCE FOR MY OLDER BROTHER, SIR HUMPREY MCMANHAMMER. HE CAME HERE IN THE MONSTERLANDS SEVEN YEARS AGO AND NEVER RETURNED. I HAVE BEEN TRAINING AND STUDYING THE NOTES THAT HE LEFT HIDDEN UNDER HIS BED. AND IN THOSE NOTES HE SAID 'THE BEHIND OF HALF DEMONS ARE SURELY THE MOST DIVINE. SUCH POWER COULD RAISE AN HOLY LANCE TO THE MIGHTIEST OF POWERS!'. I NEED THAT POWER IF I WANT TO SUCCEED WHERE HE FAILED AND AVENGE HIS DEMISE!"

Gnuk 2016/02/05(Fri)13:58 No. 699289 ID: 6a4605
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Konda: "Iiiii... I am kinda sure that's not what he meant with that..."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN! ARE YOU SAYING MY BROTHER'S KNOWLEDGE IS FLAWED?! I WILL LET YOU KNOW THAT HIS NOTE THERE WERE A LOT OF IMAGES ABOUT THE TOPIC AND THEREFORE I'M SURE HE KNEW A LOT ABOUT THE ARGUMENT!"

Konda: "I d-don't doubt that. But i can assure you my... *ah-hem* rear has any power similar to that. Your reading of those notes might have been misdirected."

"CURSES!"

Konda: "B-but you can still ask for something else, no? You did d-defeat my champion after all..."

godDAMNIT GNUK

Uh

Ask for directions to the cutest of monsters nearby.

Their power is directly proportionate to their attractiveness and surely only the strongest one is responsible for whatever happened to your brother.

She must assist you in completing your brother's quest!

i know! have her send some minions around the monster lands with not asking if anyone knows of your brother. recovering his remains would be a good start for letting him rest in peace.

Ask her to join your quest. Having a native of the monsterlands with you might prove beneficial in your quest and she could take a part of the treasures you stumble upon as a repayment for the damages you caused.

And you're suddenly so adorable.

>>699289
Well to take vengeance you need to know where your brother went. You also need more holy power. Does she know where to get some of that?

>>699289
Time to form a party!
Ask her if she has a cute brother we can recruit too.

In that case, we shall ask to explore the depths of your knowledge, if our brother's was flawed! We realize you are a busy person, though, so we shall make this out boon. And since there will likely be much to discuss, we should arrange not to starve ourselves while we speak! When would you be free to have dinner with this most righteous knight? Is there anywhere you'd prefer to go?

>>699289
Konda: maybe you need to teach him what was meant by those notes. Do a hands on demonstration.

Maybe she has some magical items of immense strength? Ugh, so unprofessional.

Ask her to use her divination powers to tell you what happened to your brother.

Ask to know where monsters come from. I don't believe master McManhammer has ever had "the talk."

Hug her THEN STRANGLE HER UNCONSCIOUS.

>>699357
Yeah, you'd be able to avenge him a lot more efficiently if you had any idea at all what actually happened.

Gnuk 2016/02/06(Sat)03:42 No. 699460 ID: fe99a7
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"DO YOU HAVE WAYS TO IMPROVE MY POWER AND FIGHTING ABILITIES?"

Konda: "I... no. I don't think i have"

"THEN YOU SHALL JOIN ME IN MY QUEST!"

Konda: "What? N-no! I'm- i'm a busy sorceress!"

Gnuk 2016/02/06(Sat)03:44 No. 699461 ID: fe99a7
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"THEN I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO LEAVE A BAD REVIEW ON DUNGEON SEEKER MAGAZINE! AND MAYBE EVEN TELL PEOPLE WHAT A MESS YOU ARE!"

Konda: "OH PLEASE NO! I'LL HELP! I'LL HELP!"

Gnuk 2016/02/06(Sat)03:54 No. 699462 ID: fe99a7
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"GOOD. YOU SAID YOU ARE A DIVINER, NO? CAN'T YOU SEE WHO KILLED MY BROTHER? THAT WOULD HELP FOR SURE!"

Konda: "I'm not that good, i know only a couple of spells that i use to know when people are coming over and when it's time to pay the taxes"

"YOU ARE A MESS... WHAT CAN YOU DO?"

Konda: "I can send my minions around to ask if someone knows something about a human knight. It's gonna take a bit i guess."

"SOUNDS FINE BY ME"

Konda: "Ok, i'll instruct my servants right now. The only problem is that you'll have to stay here for a while and... i... don't really have a guest room..."

"..."

Konda: "I-i'll go tell them right now. We'll... figure something later i guess. Make yourself at home."

SHE STORMS OFF, LEAVING ME ALONE IN THE THRONE ROOM.

Well she told you to make yourself at home. I doubt you wear your armor around the house so change into something more comfortable.

Perhaps the temptress is right, maybe you've been reading your brother's notes wrong because they are encoded! Reread them aloud to see if there are any phonetic clues! Or draw them out to see if they could form a map to where he went! (would go? Would have gone? I don't know tenses)

Well, as a holy knight, you are required to be a good and honorable guest. Maybe you can figure out a way to fix her throne? Clean up the deathknight parts? Or you could take his place standing at her door. A knight is supposed to repay hospitality by joining in the defense of his host's castle, you know!

Take an interest in what she was doing when you arrived. It might be something more sinister than it previously seemed.

I mean, what kind of shows do nefarious monsters even watch?

With naught but yon cushion from thy vanquished throne and mine own cloak, BEHOLD! I have created SATISFACTORY GUEST ACCOMMODATIONS!

Chop up the throne into a futon and begin your schizophrenia episode.

>>699462
Set up camp in her bedroom. She doesn't expect you to wait in the throne room does she? Be very unprofessional if you were there when any other adventurers came by.

Start channel surfing on the crystal ball.

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)02:31 No. 699671 ID: b904a2
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WELL SINCE SHE'S GONE I MIGHT AS WELL CHECK IF SHE'S HIDING ARTIFACTS OF POWER FROM ME.

YOU MIGHT NEVER KNOW WITH THESE SNEAKY DEMONS.

MAYBE HER CRYSTAL BALL HAS SOMETHING THAT CAN HELP.

...

NO.

SHE PASSWORD LOCKED THAT. UNFORTUNATE.

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)02:34 No. 699672 ID: b904a2
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BY THE GODS THIS PLACE IS A MESS.

YOU'D IMAGINE A SORCERESS WOULD TAKE CARE OF HER IMAGE. OR EVEN USE MAGIC TO CLEAN THINGS UP.

THERE ARE DIRTY CLOTHES EVERYWHERE. A COUPLE OF BOOKS ABOUT MAGIC AND... A ROMANCE NOVEL CALLED "TALES OF AN ORIGINAL DRAMA"?

GODS THIS SORCERESS IS WEIRD.

NOTHING WEIRD OR ACTUALLY TOO EVIL AT LEAST. MAYBE I MISJUDGED HER. SHE'S NOT EVIL, JUST A SLOB.

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)02:39 No. 699673 ID: b904a2
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I SHOULD PROBABLY MAKE CAMP TO.

SINCE THE THRONE IS ALREADY BROKEN I CAN JUST USE PIECES OF THAT AS BOARDS TO SLEEP ON. THE CUSHION AS A PILLOW AND MY MANTLE TO COVER UP.

MMMH I REGRET NOW NOT HAVING BROUGHT MY BROTHER'S NOTES WITH ME. MAYBE THERE IS A SECRET CODE INSIDE THEM AND THE SORCERESS COULD HAVE HELPED ME UNCODE IT.
I JUST THOUGHT THEY WERE NOTES ABOUT DEFEATING MONSTERS AND NOTHING MORE. MY BROTHER SURE IS CRAFTY.

Konda: "Uuuuuuuuh"

Konda: "W-what are you doing?"

"I MADE CAMP FOR THE NIGHT"

Konda: "B-BUT THIS IS MY ROOM!"

"I KNOW"

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)02:42 No. 699674 ID: b904a2
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Konda: "I don't think i can allow you to sleep here."

"DO NOT WORRY. AS LONG AS I NEED YOUR HELP I PROMISE I WON'T HARM YOU. UNLESS YOU ATTACK ME FIRST OF COURSE."

Konda: "T-that's not exactly what i am worried about..."

"EXCELLENT. THEN THERE IS NO PROBLEM AT ALL. GOODNIGHT."

Konda: "..."

Konda: "Goodnight..."

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)02:44 No. 699675 ID: b904a2
File 145484184005.jpg - (47.56KB , 800x550 , AMHQ027.jpg )

MMMRRRRNGH!

THAT WAS A BETTER NIGHT OF SLEEP THAN I IMAGINED.

THAT PILLOW WAS INCREDIBLY COMFORTABLE.

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)02:49 No. 699676 ID: b904a2
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"BY THE GOODS YOU LOOK AWFUL TODAY"

Konda: "Thanks, it's not like my self esteem is already at its lowest..."

"DID YOU NOT SLEEP?"

Konda: "I didn't get much sleep at all..."

"YOU SHOULD PROBABLY FIX YOUR WAY OF LIFE, EATING HEALTIER AND AVOIDING STAYING SO LONG IN FRONT OF THE CRYSTAL BALL, THAT SHOULD HELP YOU SLEEP BETTER!"

Konda: "N-no that's not the poin... you are really not the brightest paladin, right?"

"I AM A BEACON OF LIGHT! OF COURSE I'M BRIGHT!"

Konda: "That answers my question..."

SHE SIPS HER BLACK FUMING POTION.

Konda: "Anyway. My servants didn't get any news about a human knight, but they told me that there is going to be a monster council in about a couple days. Monsters from all the monsterlands will converge there. You might find answers to your quest there. But it would be dangerous to go there alone and dressed as you are..."

she has a point, a monster council would assume a holy knight was sent to infiltrate and murder them all instead of asking question.

>>699676
apologize to this poor sorceress for keeping her up, jesus

>>699676
>But it would be dangerous to go there alone and dressed as you are...
FEAR NOT, I AM A KNIGHT AND I SHALL TAKE ANY TASK HEAD ON WITHOUT FEAR! NOW I MUST THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME ON MY QUEST TO AVANGE MY BOTHER AND UNFORTUNATELY MUST ASK ONE LAST THING FROM YOU! WHERE IS THIS MEETING TAKING PLACE?! I'M SURE I CAN FIGURE OUT THE REST ONCE I GET THERE.

>>699676
>But it would be dangerous to go there alone and dressed as you are...

Well, then. It's a good thing you recruited her into your party. Side-quest objective completed.

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)05:16 No. 699694 ID: b904a2
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"I SEE! THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE A GOOD PLACE TO START. THANK YOU, YOU HAVE BEEN RAELLY HELPFUL."

Konda: "No problem, you did win my aid. Even if you destroyed half of my stuff..."

"..."

"I AM SORRY ABOUT THAT. I PROMISE THAT AT THE END OF THE QUEST I'LL TRY TO REPAY YOU"

Konda: "Oh... uh... yeah, that would be nice..."

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)05:23 No. 699696 ID: b904a2
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"I HAVE TO STILL ASK YOU TO AID ME UNTIL THE END THOUGH. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS PLACE IS. AND WHILE I AM SURE I COULD FIGHT MY WAY THROUGH I THINK I'LL WASTE TOO MUCH ENERGY WITHOUT GETTING ANY RESULT. ANY IDEA WHAT I COULD DO?"

Konda: "Uhm. Yeah i can accompany you there, and you can act as my guard or escort. I... i think i can put a costume on you and enforce it with illusion."

"POSE AS A MONSTER? MMMH, NOT REALLY APPROPRIATE FOR A KNIGHT. BUT I WILL HAVE TO CLOSE AN EYE. FOR MY BROTHER!"

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)05:26 No. 699697 ID: b904a2
File 145485157916.jpg - (51.56KB , 500x800 , AMHQ031.jpg )

"..."

"ARE YOU SURE THIS IS GOING TO WORK?"

Konda: "Oh yes. Just trust me. Any particular creature you want to look like?"

if you feel like, you can even just draw on the "mask", or just give a suggestion.

Use the power of suggestion. Write "A Monster" on the mask and let their imagination fill in the blanks.

>>699697
No, no, this is good. You may pretend to be a spectral knight. Or a wraith knight. Muster any spookiness you have.

pretend to be a dullahan. if you leave the bag blank they'll think you're headless so it works out.

Play the role of undead, possibly Revenant. That way, you can act human and still be treated as a semi-monster.

Act like that deathknight you killed.

Gorgon. What are YOU lookin' at, punk?

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)07:49 No. 699716 ID: b904a2
File 145486014079.jpg - (54.54KB , 800x550 , AMHQ032.jpg )

Golem BUTLER: WELCOME! WELCOME! TO THE MONSTER COUNCIL!

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)07:52 No. 699717 ID: b904a2
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Golem BUTLER: "Lady sorceress Hira Konda. And..."

Konda: "This is my undead knight bodyguard

Golem BUTLER: "Ah, but of course! It is a pleasure to see you manage to come to the council."

Konda: "Yes, i thought there might be interesting topic this time."

Would it be rude to sniff the flower on his head, or would it be rude to ignore the flower entirely? I am so bad at these kind of social gatherings.

>>699718
An undead would not sniff anything because of the distinct lack of actual breathing.

But complimenting the flower might be appropriate. In a gentlemanly fashion.

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)08:01 No. 699721 ID: b904a2
File 145486089151.jpg - (55.37KB , 800x530 , AMHQ034.jpg )

Golem BUTLER: "As you can see, the council this year will be held in this ancient dead volcano. Courtesy of the Kobold Empress. At ground floor you can find the hall, where we currently are, the training grounds, the kitchens and the dining halls. and of course the ball room. On the first floor there are the libraries and the private rooms. We have prepared room 609 for you and your following. You came here quite soon, most of the other hosts haven't arrived aside for a bunch of dignitaries. and of course on the second floor we have the forum, where the council will be held, and private meeting rooms that can be booked for private business and chats."

Konda: "Good. Bring my luggages in my room"

SHE TURNS TO ME.

Konda: "I, uh, am going straight to my room to 'freshen' up. You can go wherever you want. Just remember that you are technically here in my name, so please don't make me look bad in front of the others... please..."

>>699720
What if having a flower growing out of you is considered embarrassing for a golem though? I don't want him to do the equivalent of complimenting his hairy mole.

Go to the training grounds. We need to keep our sword skills sharp for when we find those responsible for our brother's no doubt grisly fate.

Check the forum for traps, set up a few of your own just in case.

>>699721
Uh, ask her what you should do if someone challenges you or disrespects her in casual conversation while you're roaming around. Technically, you're in her employ right now and a knight is honour-bound to defend his lady's good name.

>>699721
Ask what an undead knight typically does at these kinds of things so you won't be suspicious.

Check the library. There must be a clue in there about your brother. Surely, the monsters would record the demise of a hero as great as he was.

>>699722
If he gets offended, you can always outmaneuver the offense by flipping it on its head. Like, it makes him distinct and adds character. Both people and monsters will buy all sorts of bullshit if you make it out as a compliment.

>>699737
This.

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)12:22 No. 699797 ID: b904a2
File 145487657579.jpg - (59.08KB , 800x530 , AMHQ034.jpg )

"PSSSSSSST"

Konda: "What?"

"I FORGOT TO ASK. HOW IS AN UNDEAD KNIGHT SUPPOSED TO ACT HERE?"

Konda: "Uh. Just act like you'd normally act as a knight? But... you know... undead-ly?"

"SO THE STANDARD? BE CHIVALRIOUS, BE HELPFUL, DEFEND YOUR LADY'S HONOR IN A DUEL TO THE DEATH IF SOMEONE OFFENDS HER?"

Konda: "Well, i... never had anyone defend my honor so far. Sounds kinda flattering, but i think you should avoid duels to the death. For now. "

"UNDERSTOOD"

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)12:23 No. 699798 ID: b904a2
File 145487663054.jpg - (75.73KB , 800x550 , AMHQ035.jpg )

SHE GOES UPSTAIR, LEAVING ME ALONE.

Gnuk 2016/02/07(Sun)12:25 No. 699800 ID: b904a2
File 145487675863.jpg - (60.00KB , 800x550 , AMHQ036.jpg )

"NICE FLOWER"

Golem Butler: "THANKS FOR NOTICING, SIR. I WATERED IT TODAY!"

GOOD. I HAVE ALREADY INFILTRATED THIS LAIR.

NOW, LET'S SEE. I COULD GO TO THE LIBRARY, THE TRAINING GROUNDS OR THE FORUM. THOSE ARE PROBABLY GOOD PLACES TO CHECK. WHICH FIRST THOUGH.

>>699800
Forum. You'll be more conspicuous if you show off at the training ground, so leave that for later.

I resubmit my suggestion.

>Check the library. There must be a clue in there about your brother. Surely, the monsters would record the demise of a hero as great as he was.

Training ground, we have to be at our very best when we find those responsible for our brothers unspeakable fate.

Unfortunately, undead knights have a not-so chivalrous advantage in duels to the death. So, don't do that.

Seek out the kobold hosts.

>>699800
I advise you start with the forum.

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)02:10 No. 700010 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145492620902.jpg - (105.25KB , 850x650 , AMHQ037.jpg )

I SHALL CHECK THE FORUMS FIRST. THAT WAY I CAN GET AN IDEA ON HOW MANY MONSTER MIGHT COME TO THIS PLACE.

ALRIGHT.

THIS.

IS A REALLY LARGE PLACE. THIS FORUM CAN HOST AT LEAST TWO OR THREE HUNDRED PEOPLE BACK WHERE I COME FROM.

OH SOMEONE IS HERE AS WELL.

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)02:13 No. 700011 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145492641490.jpg - (128.90KB , 800x510 , AMHQ038.jpg )

Kobold Empress: "Make sure that the higher tiers of the forum have enough space for the taller gents. We don't want to have those poor giants bending all the time. It's not good for their backs ~"

Kobold Chamberlain: "It will be done, your highness."

I GUESS THIS IS THE HOST OF THE COUNCIL.

KOBOLDS ARE SERIOUSLY SMALLER THAN I IMAGINED...

Add kobold empress to inventory.

>>700011
well since you're here, see if you can't ask her who's all coming. or at the very least if she has heard of any humans that have moved through these lands in the past 7 years. If asked why you want to know say it's personal.

Don't push or be rude though, you are representing konda and we did say we'd try not to make her look bad.

you can't just run up to royalty (while the chamberlain is around). try the library.

>>700015
Codex of Chivalry supports this action.

Introduce yourself, it is only polite for you to greet the empress. Oh and try to resist the urge to add the tiny kobolds to your inventory

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)05:23 No. 700029 ID: 6d0bb1
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SHE MIGHT BE BUSY, BUT SHE IS STILL THE HOST, AND A TRUE KNIGHT MUST HONOR THE HOST!

"GREETINGS YOUR HIGHNESS!"

Kobold Empress: "Oh, hello! What do we have here~?"

"I AM LADY KONDA'S NEW UNDEAD KNIGHT. WE JUST ARRIVED HERE AND I CAME HERE TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR HOSPITALITY!"

Kobold Empress: "Oh my~! That's quite chivalrious of you~. Haven't had many people greeting me properly lately. Konda sure knows how to raise her dead hihihihih~"

"I HOPE I DO NOT COME OUT AS INOPPORTUNE BUT I WANTED TO ASK YOUR HIGHNESS A COUPLE QUESTIONS"

Kobold Empress: "Oh, sorry cutie, but i'm really busy at the moment. the preparations for the council take priority over everything unfortunately."

SHE STUDIES ME FOR A MOMENT

Kobold Empress: "But we can have time to chat tonight,let me invite you and your mistress for dinner. I'll have my best chefs prepare the perfect meal. Well, for me and Konda of course. Then we can chat all night long~"

Oh shit, because they think you're undead, they think you have no need to eat. This thing is probably going to be going on a few days, so we have to find a way to secretly obtain food without blowing our cover.

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)05:28 No. 700032 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145493813913.jpg - (85.79KB , 800x550 , AMHQ040.jpg )

I TAKE MY LEAVE AND GO CHECK THE LIBRARY.

IT'S NOT AN EXTREMELY LARGE LIBRARY, BUT IT HAS A LOT OF BOOKS AND SCROLLS.

THERE IS ALSO A GNOLL LIBRARIAN.

WEIRD. ACCORDING TO MY BROTHER'S NOTES GNOLLS HAVE 'QUITE AN ORAL PREFERENCE IN THEIR TRADITIONS'. I GUESS HIS STUDIES WEREN'T AS GOOD AS I THOUGHT. POOR BROTHER.

Gnoll Librarian: "Hello! Who are you? Do you need anything"

OH RIGHT, I SHOULD NOT USE MY OWN NAME HERE, I NEED TO COME UP WITH A FAKE ONE, ELSE THEY WILL FIND OUT THAT I'M A HUMAN!

Silly McVirgin

he said PREFERENCE not that they only do so. clearly she must be an oddball of the gnolls.


anyway, say you are sir remington, ex sir remington you suppose.

You're a deathknight, remember, so you need a proper undead hellwarrior name. Like... Murderguts Deathflayer.

>>700032
Do undead even have names? Wouldn’t "knight of Konda" work for and introduction?

Deathy Mckillsalot
Ask if she has any books on old legends. We must do our research on this most holiest of lances.

>>700029
Cute butt.

>I GUESS HIS STUDIES WEREN'T AS GOOD AS I THOUGHT.
Perhaps gnolls have grown more civilized since the records he uncovered in his research were written? One reason he would have set out might have been for more recent first hand research on subjects where human lore might be out of date!

Choose a grandiose name that would make Konda seem prestigious.

Like, Falric Nightsorrow or equally edgy name.

Ask her if she has ever heard of McManhammer name. If she asks why it interests you, tell her that he ended your life before Konda "raised" you.

Keep it simple. You're the Dark Knight.

>>700032
>GNOLLS HAVE 'QUITE AN ORAL PREFERENCE IN THEIR TRADITIONS'

Well, so do your fellow humans that aren't of high birth or part of the priesthood. Not everyone has the opportunity to become literate.

Seriously, check your knightly privilege.

Yes that is a good point, think about the emperess' butt. How did it make you feel? Did you sense the er... "power" your brother mentioned? If any monster would possess it it would be the emperess right?

>>700043
Let's not. The Empress might be a vile necrophiliac. Or how they like to call themselves - tolerant of the life-impaired.

Hey It's important we find out if he shares his brother's preferences and doesn't know

>>700044
What's wrong with a little tolerance?

>>700046
He is PURE. PUUUUUURE! If anything, his pure heart will lead him down his brother's path.

>>700047
There's nothing wrong with a LITTLE tolerance. A problem arises when said tolerance is TOO BIG.

Your clever alias is... Cleaver... Ales.

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)08:16 No. 700062 ID: 6d0bb1
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"MY NAME IS UUUH... DEATHY FALRIC MURDERGUTS MCKILLSALOT THE DEATHFLAYER, LADY KONDA'S UNDEAD KNIGHT!"

Gnoll librarian: "That's quite a mouthful..."


"JUST CALL ME DEATHY"

Gnoll librarian: "Aaaaaaalright. My name is Limmeria, i'm the new librarian. How can i help you?"

"SO! I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD HELP ME. DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ANY HUMAN THAT ARRIVED IN THE MONSTERLAND FEW YEARS AGO? SOMEONE NAMED MCMANHAMMER? HE... DEFEATED ME AND SINCE I WAS RAISED I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR REVENGE"

Gnoll librarian: "Uh, no. Never heard of someone like that. Human incursions in our lands aren't really common, but they aren't really catalogued unless they made great dangers. i am sure i haven't heard anyone called like that in this part of the monsterland's archive. I'm sorry."

"I SEE. THANKS ANYWAY. MMMH. DO YOU HAVE ANY BOOKS THAT TALK OR REFER ABOUT A HOLY LANCE? I'M ALSO BEEN CURIOUS ABOUT IT."


Gnoll librarian: "Mmh, yes i think there might be one, let me look for it"

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)08:20 No. 700063 ID: 6d0bb1
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SHE GOES TO LOOK FOR THE BOOK, LEAVING ME ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS.

THE MONSTERLANDS ARE A LOT DIFFERENT THAN I IMAGINED. I THOUGHT THE MONSTER WOULD LIVE IN BARBARIC TRIBES, BUT MOST OF THEM SEEM TO BE CIVILIZED OF SOME SORT.

ON THE OTHER HAND, I DO NOT REALLY KNOW THEIR CUSTOMS, AND PROBABLY EVEN MY BROTHER'S STUDIES MIGHT HAVE BEEN DONE ON ARCHAIC AND UNUSABLE NOTIONS.

SURE IT IS I WASN'T EXPECTING THE RULING CLASSES TO WEAR SO LITTLE! OUTFITS SO REVEALING WOULD CAUSE YOU TO BE BANISHED IN OUR COUNTRY.

MAYBE IT JUST SHOWS HOW CORRUPTED THESE MONSTERS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE.

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)08:22 No. 700065 ID: 6d0bb1
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[/b]Gnoll librarian: "Well. i have found the book that talks about holy lances, but... i don't know if it is what you are looking for..."

"WHY NOT"

Gnoll librarian[b]: "Well, look for yourself."

SHE HANDS ME THE BOOK

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)08:24 No. 700067 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145494868777.jpg - (51.13KB , 600x600 , AMHQ044.jpg )

AH BLAST IT ALL!

IT'S WRITTEN IN MONSTER LANGUAGE.

THE BOOK MUST BE QUITE OLD, SINCE IT HAS BEEN LESS THAN A CENTURY SINCE THE MONSTERS STARTED TALKING IN THE COMMON TONGUE TOO!

STILL, I AM PRETTY SURE ANY MONSTER CAN SPEAK AND READ IT ANYWAY, BUT I CAN'T. AND I MIGHT LOOK SUSPICIOUS IF I ASK WHAT IT SAYS

Ask if she can keep a secret, then invite her up to a private chamber to read it to you.

>>700067
My eyes have rot away, i need magic inscribed books to read them, what's the book is about exactly?

we can have konda tell us about it later.

Tell her you are a pretty freshly raised former human. You cannot read the runes because your mistress has not had time to teach you how yet.

>>700067
Pretend that you're scanning through the pages and ask her if it's okay to take the book out of the library. Konda would certainly be helpful in deciphering the monster runes.

Explain you were human before you were killed, so regrettably your inherited knowledge after being raised does not include this script.

Could she read it to you?

>>700071
>>700073
this

Ask for a copy of a few pages, specifically those regarding the Holy Lance and how it is utilized.

Ask why her hands and tail are blue, are they naturally colored or dyed?

>>700135
If you do ask, do it tactfully. As in, mask it as a compliment. And don't use any excuse about rotten eyes beforehand - it would be suspicious if you suddenly differentiated colours without eyeballs.

>>700135
>>700136
that's just my scanner fucking up everytime i try to scan something that is slightly grey. her paws and tip of the tail are just supposed to be darker

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)11:55 No. 700142 ID: 6d0bb1
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"CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?"

Gnoll librarian: "Of course, we librarians are good at keeping our mouth shut."

"SINCE I HAVE BEEN RAISED RECENTLY I CAN'T READ THE OLD TONGUE."

Gnoll librarian: "Really! That's unfortunate... I'm sorry i didn't know that. I have been rude in giving you the book like that then."

"DON'T WORRY. BUT YOU CAN MAKE IT UP IF YOU WANT."

I HAND OUT THE BOOK

"WOULD YOU MIND READING ME PART OF IT? THAT WAY I WILL KNOW IF IT IS THE BOOK I'M LOOKING FOR"

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)11:57 No. 700143 ID: 6d0bb1
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Gnoll librarian: "I d-don't think it's appropriate!"

"ONLY A COUPLE ENTRIES I GUESS? IN CASE I CAN BRING THE BOOK TO MY MISTRESS AND HAVE HER HELP ME, BUT I DON'T WANT TO WASTE HER TIME FOR SOMETHING THAT ISN'T IMPORTANT."

Gnoll librarian: "Mmmmmmmmmmmmh"

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)12:01 No. 700146 ID: 6d0bb1
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Gnoll librarian: "Alright. Let me close the door first."

SHE LOCKS THE DOOR OF THE LIBRARY, GRABS THE BOOK AND INVITE ME TO SIT ON THE FLOOR.

PROBABLY THE TOME CONTAINS SOME SECRET KNOWLEDGE AND IT'S FORBIDDEN TO HEAR IT.

MAYBE I AM ON THE RIGHT PATH!

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT.

Gnoll librarian: "From the beginning?"

"YES, PLEASE"

Gnoll librarian: "This is the tale of sir Billings..."

GOOD, A PROMISING START ALREADY.

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)12:04 No. 700148 ID: 6d0bb1
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Gnoll librarian: "... the hunkiest of knights. An erotic collection. Chapter one: 'The lusty lizardfolk maiden..."

...

OH....

The text is obviously encoded to hide the truth from prying eyes. Allow her to continue.

>>700148
Wait what does this have to do with a holy lance?

Damnation! Euphemisms, the bane of your existence.

Stop her as it is not appropriate for a lady of any race to read out loud such filth and apologise.

Inquire if such literature is common here. Then thank her for sparing you the embarrassment in front of your "mistress".

Wait until she's ready enough that you're sure this won't help you. After all, you'll never be able to double check on your own! It might be coded, or just obscured by an oratory style designed to make oral retelling easier.

(Stop her once she's gotten hot and bothered).

Steel your heart (and other things) and continue.

>>700148
Inquire how a maiden can be lusty. Does it not interfere with her maidenhood?

>>700148
OUR MIND IS AS SHARP AS OUR SWORD, WE CUT TO THE TRUTH WITH IT. OUR MIND IS AS GIRDED AS OUR ARMOR, WE SHALL ENDURE ANY ONSLAUGHT NO MATTER THE LEWDNESS.

That encoding sounds familiar to your brother's, mayhaps he was using this book to help him hide his notes! What better cipher could there be than a tome in an ancient, unknown (to you at least) language! This is perfect, tell the librarian that this is exactly the book your mistress asked for (cant let her think you have your own goals can you?) and that you both will spend all night poring over every inch of it together. Give her an eyebrow waggle just in case she is in on its true value! (Yes, even with the bag on, and even more so with the helmet still on)

((Librarian is cuter that our benefactor, but i want to keep this misunderstanding train rolling as long as i can))

>>700150
>>700160
>>700161
>>700165
NO NO NO NO NO, we'll blow our cover! Undead do not get erections. Unless they are vampires!

>>700167
Pure knights also do not get erections. Do you doubt our heroes purity?

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)13:50 No. 700207 ID: 6d0bb1
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I SHOULD STOP HER IMMEDIATELY, THIS MIGHT BE READ IN A WRONG WAY.

BUT...

ALREADY IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPHS OF THAT BOOK, THE TEXT SOUNDS SIMILAR TO MY BROTHER'S NOTES.

MIGHT THAT BE AN ANCIENT WAY OF CODING? HIDE IN A EROTICA BOOK? A BOOK THAT IS CLEARLY SOMETHING THAT HUMANS AND KNIGHTS WON'T READ ON THEIR OWN?

MMMMH. I SHALL LET HER READ ME A COUPLE MORE PARTS.

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)13:56 No. 700208 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145496857586.jpg - (64.81KB , 800x500 , AMHQ050.jpg )

THE BOOK IS... QUITE EXPLICIT ON SOME KIND OF PARTS, AND DOESN'T HIDE ANY PART.

AROUND CHAPTER THREE, WHEN SIR BILLINGS AUDACIOUSLY DECIDES TO SLEEP WITH THE QUEEN OF THE DARK ELVES WHILE HER HUSBAND IS ASLEEP IN THE THRONE ROOM I START TO RECOGNIZE EXACT SIMILARITIES WITH MY BROTHER'S NOTES.

MY BROTHER MIGHT HAVE STUDIED THIS BOOK AND ENCODED THE SECRET BENEATH IT.

AND JUDGING BY HOW BOTHERED THE LIBRARIAN IS GETTING, THE CODE MIGHT ACT AS A WAY TO KEEP MONSTERS FROM DISCOVERING THE TRUTH.

IT IS ALSO GENIUS, SINCE THE BOOK IS REALLY WELL WRITTEN. EVEN A HOLY PALADIN LIKE ME BLUSHED AT SOME PARTS.

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)14:00 No. 700212 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145496883174.jpg - (58.38KB , 600x640 , AMHQ051.jpg )

"AH-HEM"

Gnoll librarian "UH! WHAT! Did i say something wrong?"

"OH NO! YOU HAVE BEEN EXTREMELY HELPFUL. THIS MIGHT BE IN FACT THE BOOK I WAS LOOKING FOR. CAN I BORROW IT SO THAT MY MISTRESS AND I COULD READ IT LATER TOGETHER?"

Gnoll librarian "T-T-TOGETHER?"

"YES, AS I AM UNABLE TO READ IT ON MY OWN. I THINK WE CAN START TONIGHT AFTER DINNER."

Gnoll librarian "O-oh my... Uh. Sure. Here, take the b-book"

SHE HANDS ME THE BOOK AGAIN

"THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE HELP!"

I want everyone to pause here for a second, do you really think Konda will be willing to read the book? I mean she's obviously quite shy about such things

Remember, she's a monster, we can't let her realize that the book is in code.

Gnuk 2016/02/08(Mon)14:05 No. 700216 ID: 6d0bb1
File 145496911816.jpg - (53.79KB , 600x650 , AMHQ052.jpg )

Gnoll librarian "Ehm... uhm... I-in case you want more i think there might be more books on the same s-subject in the library..."

MORE BOOKS? MMMH MAYBE EVEN MORE CODES!

Gnoll librarian "I-in case you and your mistress appreciate the book, let me know and i can... look for more."

"THAT MIGHT BE HELPFUL. I'LL SEE WHAT WE GET OUT OF THIS BOOK LATER"

Gnoll librarian "G-good luck"

I STILL HAVE A BIT OF FREE TIME, I CAN STILL GO SOMEHWERE.

AT ONE POINT I SHOULD GET TO KONDA'S ROOM THOUGH, AND LET HER KNOW WE HAVE BEEN INVITED BY THE EMPRESS FOR DINNER SO WE CAN PREPARE A PLAN AND CLEAN UP.

ALSO, I MIGHT HAVE TO THINK OF A PLAN FOR DINNER. I'M SURE UNDEADS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT. AND I CAN'T SURVIVE ALL THESE DAYS WITHOUT EATING..."

Doggie bag! Have Konda take some extra's back afterwords and you can eat from that instead!

Go to the room 609 right now, a plan must be devised with Konda and that should take priority.

All further roaming should take place afterwards.

Oh, and uh, knock this time before entering.

>>700216
Just ask Konda to sneak you some food after dinner. You'll have to take off the disguise to eat it anyway, and you really shouldn't do that unless you're in private.

>>700216
We should warn Konda about the invitation. She needs prep time. You saw how well prepared for you she was with magic telling her to be ready. If you don't warn her about the dinner now, who knows what a state she'd be in when she arrives! Why, she might not have nay clothes at all!

Yes return to Konda. Let her know we found a book that reads similarly to our brother's notes and the empress thing too.

Get some dairy products for food, if anyone asks tell 'em calcium builds strong bones.

Gnuk 2016/02/09(Tue)03:45 No. 700415 ID: 5496b9
File 145501830823.jpg - (49.64KB , 800x550 , AMHQ053.jpg )

I ARRIVE AT KONDA'S ROOM. AND THIS TIME I KNOCK.

Konda: "Crapcrapcrap YES! ONE SECOND! WHO'S THERE?"

"IT IS I, MISTRESS KONDA. YOUR KNIGHT!"

Konda: "Ok! One second! hold on!"

...

Konda: "Come in"

Gnuk 2016/02/09(Tue)03:53 No. 700417 ID: 5496b9
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Konda: "I was unpacking my luggages still. Sorry."

EVEN IF THE LUGGAGE IS OPEN, I CAN CLEARLY SEE THAT SHE HAS BARELY TOUCHED THE CONTENT.

Konda: "Uhm, so! Any luck with your quest?"

"YES, I HAVE ACQUIRED A BOOK THAT MIGHT HELP ME IN MY QUEST, BUT IT IS WRITTEN IN THE MONSTER LANGUAGE AND I CAN'T READ IT. I HAVE TO ASK YOU TO HELP ME AND READ IT FOR ME WHILE I TRY TO FIGURE OUT ANYTHING THAT CAN HELP. BY THE WAY, IF ANYONE ASKS, MY NAME IS DEATHY FALRIC MURDERGUTS MCKILLSALOT THE DEATHFLAYER. SIR DEATHY IN SHORT."

Konda: "... ok. And sure, no problem. Give me the book."

"THAT CAN WAIT. WE NEED TO PREPARE OURSELVES. WE HAVE BEEN FORMALLY INVITED TO DINNER BY THE KOBOLD EMPRESS."

Konda: "T-the kobold empress invited us? for dinner? why?"

"I MET HER WHILE VISITING THE FORUM AND INTRODUCED MYSELF IN ORDER TO THANK HER FOR HER HOSPITALITY AND SHE INVITED US FOR DINNER. WHICH ALSO BRINGS THE PROBLEM THAT AS AN UNDEAD I SHOULD NOT PROBABLY BE SEEN EATING. MAYBE YOU CAN GET SOME LEFTOVERS FOR ME AFTER DINNER?"

Konda: "Oh noooooooooooooooooooo"

"WHAT IS WRONG?"

Gnuk 2016/02/09(Tue)03:56 No. 700418 ID: 5496b9
File 145501899831.jpg - (49.17KB , 800x470 , AMHQ055.jpg )

Konda: "I am awful at social interaction..."

"AREN'T YOU A RENOWNED SORCERESS IN THESE LANDS?"

Konda: "a sorceress that lives alone, surrounded by undeads! Being here already makes me feel anxious..."

"..."

Konda: "Not only that, but you are asking me to get a doggy bag while eating with the empress? Really? I can't do that come on! Oh my gods i will die of embarassment i can't do this! i can't do this!"

wait, i know. fake direct life force transfer spell. you say you can 'eat' a rabbit via a killing touch that gives you all it's energy. it just kills the rabbit though no evil life transfers, you keep it and cook it later. make the skin into something nice.

>>700418
The princess seemed nice and very casual. Also, as her knight we can probably do most of the talking for her.

>Apologize for leading her into an uncomfortable situation. Suggest to take it as a relatively easy method of becoming more sociable. She may be too nervous to be social by herself, but we are there for her and will help her all along the way.

>>700419
How about we take care of the doggy bag issue? We will be there after all, so she doesn’t have to deal with the awkwardness.

That pretend-life-stealing idea is awful, by the way. Way too many failure points and even if it works it is a less than ideal solution.

>>700417
you were clearly watching the sphere shows again!

Well no you don't have to ask for a doggy bag, but if you were to get sandwich as a midnight snack later tonight it may not look out of place.

>I am awful at social interaction...
Well you can cover there, probably. Social graces are part of knightly training, though there are limits on how far a servant can speak for their mistress.

Besides, she seemed nice. And the bar for dressing up appeared low.

>can't save food
Well, then I'll need to eat later, or you'll have to make an excuse why your undead is eating.

You could order room service and just say it's for Konda. Bam, problem solved.

Tell her that the Empress seemed rather impressed with her "necromancy" and that the Empress will probably keep most of her attention on you rather than her. She should be fine if she looks overwhelmed by the honour she was presented with, so the Empress probably won't realise that Konda is just bad at being with real, living people.

For a Sorceress she needs to learn to stand up for herself so far doesn't it, we need to improve her social graces!

>>700434

Problem not solved, the kobold empress invited her to dinner and that could be taken as rude.

>>700443
We don't have to do it TODAY. This gathering is like a symposium or something, so we'll be staying for a few days.

And it's not like our knight can't deal with a day of absolute fast. Stuff like that is part of knightly training.

Pray to Saint Chara the Determined for guidance in what to do with socially awkward sorceress.

Gnuk 2016/02/09(Tue)11:34 No. 700493 ID: 5496b9
File 145504648980.jpg - (75.01KB , 800x600 , AMHQ056.jpg )

BY THE GODS. WHAT A MESS.

I HOLD HER HANDS AND COMFORT HER.

"LISTEN. IT'S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT! I WILL BE IN THE ROOM TOO AND I'LL DO MOST OF THE TALKING. I NEED TO ASK THE KOBOLD EMPRESS A COUPLE QUESTIONS ABOUT HUMANS AND OTHER RUMORS. SHE SEEMED IMPRESSED BY YOUR ABILITY TO RAISE THE DEAD, SO THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY."

Konda:"Ok..."

"IT IS NOT GOOD THOUGH FOR A SORCERESS TO BE NOT PREPARED FOR SOCIAL EVENTS. I PROMISE THAT WHEN WE HAVE SOME SPARE TIME I WILL HELP YOU WITH YOUR AWKWARDNESS AND TEACH YOU WHAT I LEARNT ABOUT SOCIAL INTERACTION."

Konda:"Ok..."

Gnuk 2016/02/09(Tue)11:41 No. 700494 ID: 5496b9
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Konda: "Thanks, sir..."

Konda: "Uh, i just realized i don't even know your name"

"OH! HAVE I FORGOT TO ACTUALLY INTRODUCE MYSELF? MY NAME IS SIR LAYTON THE GOOD MCMANHAMMER. BUT MY BROTHER HUMPY USED TO CALL ME JUST LAY"

Konda: "Thank you, Sir Lay."

"WELL! SINCE WE HAVE TIME TO PREPARE, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND IF I GO AND CLEAN MYSELF UP FIRST, SO YOU WON'T HAVE TO RUSH THINGS."

Konda: "Ok. I'll start preparing my clothes then."

Gnuk 2016/02/09(Tue)11:42 No. 700496 ID: 5496b9
File 145504692379.jpg - (61.74KB , 750x600 , AMHQ059.jpg )

"AND STOP SPENDING SO MUCH TIME IN FRONT OF THE SPHEREVISION. YOUR BRAIN WILL ROT!"

Gnuk 2016/02/09(Tue)11:46 No. 700499 ID: 5496b9
File 145504717882.jpg - (100.31KB , 1000x550 , AMHQ060.jpg )

-later-

Kobold Empress: "Hello! I'm so glad you could make it!"

"WE'D NEVER REFUSE AN INVITATION FROM YOUR HIGHNESS! THANK YOU AGAIN FOR INVITING US FOR DINNER"

Kobold Empress: "Hihihihih!"

*Dies of adorable overload*

Gnuk 2016/02/09(Tue)11:52 No. 700501 ID: 5496b9
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THE DINNER IS HELD IN HER PRIVATE ROOMS. THERE IS ONLY ME, KONDA AND THE EMPRESS. AND ABOUT TWO DOZENS OF KOBOLD SERVANTS.

SHE MOTIONS US TO SIT ON SOFT PILLOWS ON THE GROUND AND THE FIRST PLATE OF APETIZER IS SERVED.

Kobold Empress: "I hope you won't mind me praising your magic abilities, Konda. But i am really impressed on your new chaperon~"

Konda: "Thank you, your highness."

Kobold Empress: "I know that your bodyguard has a couple of questions for me, but i want you both to answer me a thing that picked my curiosity first. I'm used to the see decaying creatures and skeletons as undead guards, but i haven't seen a corpse so fresh. Have you been raised recently?"

UH-OH

"YES, YOUR HIGHNESS, ONLY FEW DAYS AGO."

Kobold Empress: "Interesting! Mind telling me your story before being raised? I've always been curious on how it feels to pass through!"

KONDA IS STARTING TO GET ANXIOUS ALREADY. I NEED TO COME UP WITH A CONVINCING STORY BEFORE THE EMPRESS GETS SUSPICIOUS.

OR FIND A DISTRACTION.

you were actually a knight that was trying to fight her at first, you took on her whole army including her previous champion only for your various wounds from the previous battle to slow you down enough for konda's magic to finish you off.

>I've always been curious on how it feels to pass through
Your memories of said passage are hazy and unclear, at best. We're it so simple to peer beyond the veil, surely it would be better understood.

>Mind telling me your story before being raised?
>I NEED TO COME UP WITH A CONVINCING STORY
Can't you be mostly honest? Galvanting off to monster land searching for your brother and/or revenge only to end up undead isn't that unbelievable, and almost what happened. She's been a good mistress, and you don't mind helping her at all!

(I wouldn't claim Konda killed you. Let the kobold assume something else got you, or that Konda made sure you didn't remember that detail when she raised you).

Let's leave the "beyond the veil" stuff for the necromancer. At best you can make up the story of how you died. Be sure the story involves you being somewhere where Konda would find you and raise your corpse.

You were on a perilous quest to search for your vanished brother, but found yourself unable to make it alone. Konda managed to encounter you while you still had some breath in your lungs, and you were faced with the choice to either fail your mission, or to get another chance by willingly taking on the position you're in now.

The fact that you chose this fate while you were still alive is part of why you still look so lively.

>>700501
>>700510
Why not just say you choked on some food or ate bad berries that killed you, then Konda found your immaculate corpse?

Ask why she wants to know

>>700519
This is probably best. Especially since if we refer to Humpy as a brother, that will invalidate Lay's assumed name.

It would be best if we could use the same story we told the librarian, but I'm not sure it's a good idea to give Humpy a bad name, even here.

We need to keep our story in check. Blame your brother (but, again, present him as someone you despise) for your death, like with the gnoll, and claim that you pursued him before your demise as a rival would. You will pursue him even in undeath.

Tell the Empress that you don't know if you've even reached the realm of souls. Dying itself was not too different from falling asleep, aside from not feeling most of your body parts and being much scarier. And that if you didn't know better, you'd swear that you've woken up from a deep slumber when Konda raised you.

Then Konda tested you out on her previous deathknight and you proved too effective.

>>700519
>>700542
It's not for the best because the story told to the gnoll librarian would be invalidated. A liar needs to keep track of his own lies.

It might be good to go with a slight variation on the truth. Pretend she actually set up a trap for you once she divined the timing of your oncoming assault.

>>700560
Heyyy, that could work. Yeah. We can tell the entire truth except say that he died upon raiding Konda's dungeon.

The story we told the librarian could still fit with that, too, by saying Humpy may as well have killed him since the notes led Lay here.

"I had fought her former champion in order to win audience with her, but in victory came defeat, as I was gravely wounded. I.. feared passing on without finding my brother again, and agreed to replace her former guardian.

We tried to kill her.

She killed us.

She un-killed us.

Now we work for her.

What we told the librarian about Humpy was that "HE... DEFEATED ME AND SINCE I WAS RAISED I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR REVENGE". That means that rather than saying he killed us, we could say that when we were alive he was the first to defeat us in a duel and then had the rudeness to vanish before we could have the rematch we have been training for. (In that version, we don't even have to particularly hide that he is our brother, since brother/brotherrrrr rivalries are pretty classic.)

Gnuk 2016/02/10(Wed)03:59 No. 700670 ID: efd640
File 145510554763.jpg - (47.06KB , 650x600 , AMHQ062.jpg )

"WELL, YOUR HIGHNESS. MY TALE BEGINS IN"

Kobold Empress: "Oh! wait! wait!"

UH?

You're looking for your brother. You and he had an argument over something foolish, which escalated to a duel, which left you gravely wounded. He ran off to the monsterlands on some mysterious quest while you were convalescing. You attempted to follow him as soon as you could get out of bed, compelled by honor to deliver a formal apology after having lost the duel, or, since he's your brother and apparently mysteriously missing, avenge his death if necessary. Even in your weakened state you were able to dispatch Konda's previous bodyguard, but the exertion reopened your wound and you bled out after staggering into her throne room.

Gnuk 2016/02/10(Wed)04:02 No. 700672 ID: efd640
File 145510573549.jpg - (70.67KB , 800x550 , AMHQ063.jpg )

SHE GETS UP AND WALKS UP TO ME.

THEN SHE FLOPS ON MY LAP

Kobold Empress: "I prefer being closer and more comfortable when someone tells me a story~"

... ROYALTY COSTUMES ARE REALLY DIFFERENT HERE.

- BE RIGHT BACK- GONNA FINISH THE UPDATE

>>700674
don't go blind!

This would be an extremely inappropriate time for a holy lance. Specially because undeads don't have holy things. Also, try to avoid having corporal heat. And pulse. All that breathing you are doing? yea, dont'.

Gnuk 2016/02/10(Wed)04:30 No. 700678 ID: efd640
File 145510742548.jpg - (76.29KB , 800x600 , AMHQ064.jpg )

"UHM. AS I WAS SAYING. MY TALE BEGINS IN MY HOMETOWN, SEVERAL YEARS AGO. WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I HAD A BROTHERLY RIVALRY WITH ANOTHER SQUIRE. WE WOULD ALWAYS COMPETE AND I WAS NEVER ABLE TO DEFEAT HIM. SEVEN YEARS AGO HE WENT OFF INTO THE MONSTERLANDS ON A QUEST AND PROMISED THAT WHEN HE WOULD COME BACK WE WILL SETTLE THE SCORE AT ONCE. BUT HE NEVER CAME BACK. I WAITED FOR SEVERAL YEARS AND RECENTLY I DECIDED TO VENTURE MYSELF IN THESE LANDS, LOOKING FOR HIM. I LEARNT ABOUT A POWERFUL SORCERESS THAT COULD HELP ME LOCATE HIM AND I ATTACKED HER LAIR."

Kobold Empress: "Oooooh! That was Konda, right?"

"INDEED. I LEARNT THAT IN ORDER TO HAVE HER AID I WILL HAVE TO DEFEAT HER CHAMPION AND ARMY. I CLEAVED THROUGH IT AND FACED HER DEATHKNIGHT. OUR DUEL WENT ON UNTIL I MANAGED TO DEFEAT HIM, BUT UNFORTUNATELY THE WOUNDS AND EXHAUSTION HAD THE BEST OF ME, AND I SPIRED IN HER THRONE ROOM CURSING FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO MEET MY RIVAL ONCE MORE."

I MOTION TO KONDA

"AND THEN I AWOKE ANEW. MISTRESS KONDA HAD RAISED ME AND CLAIMED ME AS HER NEW CHAMPION. MOVED BY MY WORDS, SHE DECIDED TO TAKE TIME OFF HER... STUDIES TO HELP ME FIND MY RIVAL, SO THAT I CAN FACE HIM IN BATTLE. WHICH... IS WHY WE ARE HERE, ACTUALLY."

Gnuk 2016/02/10(Wed)04:34 No. 700680 ID: efd640
File 145510768773.jpg - (66.71KB , 670x600 , AMHQ065.jpg )

THE EMPRESS GRABS MY HAND

Kobold Empress: "Oooh, so it's a tale that just begun? That's really interesting. My duties and life tend to be really dull and repetitive, so i always appreciate a good story or someone that knows how to have [i]fun around. I hope to hear more when things develop more![/i]"

PHEW. IT SEEMS IT WORKED OUT WELL. I DIDN'T EVEN HAD TO LIE TOO MUCH.

Kobold Empress: "On another note..."

Gnuk 2016/02/10(Wed)04:35 No. 700681 ID: efd640
File 145510775899.jpg - (46.55KB , 470x640 , AMHQ066.jpg )

Kobold Empress: "Your hand and legs are really warm! How is it possible?"

OH.
CRAP.

...An odd anomaly due to me being raised while only half dead.

Normal decomposing process. Rot produces energy in the form of warmth. Thankfully, you still haven't reached the bloating stage of rotting, where your inner organs will explode outwardly once you have enough gas trapped inside your body, produced by bacteria and insects.

>>700681
I was rised just after i died, so my decomposition stopped and kind of behave like i was still alive, I still retain most of my body functions too!

Pay attention to Konda, she's gonna make some interesting expressions, here.

>"Your hand and legs are really warm! How is it possible?"
I am no expert in such magics, Empress. Skill on the part of my mistress? A blessing of the (dark) gods? The burning passion of the quest that sustained me past death?

I'm starting to think that the Kobold Empress knows exactly what's going on here. And assumes some other things of decadent nature.

Why else would there be smutty literature in the library?

She knows. It explains why she personally invited you and konda, why she is sitting on your lap, and why the food thing was mentioned. Im pretty sure the human knight in a monster meeting thing is fun/unusual/exciting enough that she wont out us. I have a feeling there will be strings attached though.

She knows, but we should still keep going. She is probably enjoying trying to force us into a corner

Magic

Necromancy has made a few leaps and bounds. The veins are still there, it isn't hard to replace the heart of an undead with a pump. Among other things.

Replacing vital organs doesn't fully resurrect an undead, but the resemblance of life increases combat effectiveness and stuff.

That would be the decomposition process beginning. In a few days, I'm going to need lavender perfume like you wouldn't BELIEVE.

Weak fire runes.

You spend a great deal of time laying on warm coals to keep your body feeling warm. Mistress finds warm undead to be less off putting to any guests she chooses to entertain.

Gnuk 2016/02/10(Wed)10:04 No. 700722 ID: efd640
File 145512746176.jpg - (62.75KB , 630x600 , AMHQ067.jpg )

"I... UUUUUH... WELL! UH..."

CRAPCRAPCRAP

"I HAVE NO IDEA! MISTRESS KONDA MIGHT ANSWER YOU BETTER ABOUT THIS. I WAS RATHER IGNORANT ABOUT MAGIC EVEN BEFORE DYING..."

I TURN JUST IN TIME TO SEE KONDA ALMOST CHOKE ON THE FOOD.

Konda: "It's uuuuuh... probably related to the enchantments i used in conjunction on how Sir Deathy conditions were when he... died. The body might have reacted weirdly to the spell since i... reanimated it immediately after. His body functions were... uuh... still going so the body might have not recognized it is dead yet. Which should end when the... ehm... rotting process end. But for now he might have mantained part of his... previous bodily functions..."

Gnuk 2016/02/10(Wed)10:07 No. 700723 ID: efd640
File 145512763116.jpg - (65.84KB , 700x600 , AMHQ068.jpg )

Kobold Empress: "Really? Is that even possible?"

Konda: "W-why. Yes! I have b-been studying necromancy for a really long time and yet the r-rules behind it still aren't s-set in stone. T-the reason i d-decided to allow my new bodyguard to persevere in h-his quest is because i want to study what hap-happened with the rituals. M-maybe i'll even be able to replicate it later"

Gnuk 2016/02/10(Wed)10:12 No. 700724 ID: efd640
File 145512792589.jpg - (62.24KB , 710x600 , AMHQ069.jpg )

Kobold Empress "That's quite impressing! And if you manage to work that out, you'll even be able to actually resurrect people?"

Konda: "W-well, yeah! That's a possibility. It would be a great task to be able to resurrect someone with the use of pure arcane magic rather than divine."

WELL, IT DOES SEEM THAT TALKING ABOUT MAGIC MANAGED TO CALM KONDA DOWN. THE SITUATION COULD HAVE GONE REALLY BADLY.

Kobold Empress: "And i can also see how even having them partially alive would be a good improvement. Having a..."

Gnuk 2016/02/10(Wed)10:13 No. 700725 ID: efd640
File 145512798325.jpg - (58.87KB , 710x600 , AMHQ070.jpg )

Kobold Empress: "warm body to interact with is surely better than the cold, rotting body of a normal undead!"

Gnuk 2016/02/10(Wed)10:14 No. 700726 ID: efd640
File 145512809765.jpg - (36.24KB , 600x600 , AMHQ071.jpg )

UH-OH!

MY BROTHER'S NOTES WERE RIGHT ABOUT KOBOLDS. THEY DO HAVE PREHENSILE TAILS!

Kobold Empress: "Don't you think so too, Sir Deathy~?

Bad touch

BAD TOUCH!!

Ward off the empress by stating that corpses lose their bowel control and put diarrhea to shame with the constant ^&*(ting of unprocessed rotting flesh and intoxicated blood.

Also, you didn't wash your ass.

Please don't be rude or crude. I doubt she'll actually do anything while konda is there. Try to ignore it as best you can and get konda to make up a reason to leave if you cant.

Play along, she has information you need to get, and if you push her away, you might lose your chance!

Say probably, but your chivalric duties prevented you getting from engaging in many non-violent body interactions when you were alive, and your chivalry endures even in death!

Tell her that you honestly wouldn't know. Most of your experience with bodies other than your own was with a cold, hard steel interacting with them through its sharpened end.

Plus, a knight as single-minded as you had little time to pursue companionship of others.

As a precaution for your safety, do clench your butthole hard.

Sayit is irrelevant as your knight's honor prevents you from engaging in such acts outside of wedlock

Ignore it! If you bring attention to it you'll only spur her onward, think of it as a challenge you must overcome!

>And if you manage to work that out, you'll even be able to actually resurrect people?
Whups. We jumped from interesting undead to resurrections. Hopefully we didn't raise the bar too much for poor Konda.

>>700726
...perhaps you should try to redirect the conversation to the questions you were interested in posing her?

Kobolds hate fun! DONT BE FUN!

Or rather due to my ineptitude, "Kobolds hate people who are no fun".

Gnuk 2016/02/11(Thu)05:22 No. 700965 ID: 7675b5
File 145519693507.jpg - (86.92KB , 600x750 , AMHQ072.jpg )

OK. STEEL THYSELF, SIR LAYTON. REMEMBER. YOU ARE A HOLY KNIGHT, AND YOU SHALL NOT FALL FOR THE ADVANCES OF MONSTERS.

"I WOULDN'T KNOW, YOUR HIGHNESS. BEFORE DEATH I WASN'T AS SOCIAL AS OTHER KNIGHTS WERE. ALL MY INTERACTIONS HAVE BEEN THROUGH STEEL AND VIOLENCE. I HAVEN'T HAD ANY OTHER REAL SOCIAL INTERACTIONS WHEN I WAS ALIVE. EVEN DURING TOURNAMENTS."

Kobold Empress :"That's such a pity. But now that your previous life is over and your new 'life' has begun, you might try something different, no?"

"I STILL HAVE MY VENGEANCE TO COMPLETE. AND EVEN AFTER THAT, I SHALL SERVE MISTRESS LADY KONDA, AND BE BOUND TO HER ORDERS AND WISHES."

THE EMPRESS SMILES. AND SOMEHOW I DON'T FEEL ANY BETTER ABOUT IT.

Kobold Empress :"Of course~. You are in Konda's service and will service her as much as she asks, no?"

"WELL OF COURSE. THAT IS THE DUTY OF A KNIGHT."

Kobold Empress :"Snrk! How chivalrious~"

I GET THE FEELING I MISSED SOMETHING, BUT IT'S NOT REALLY EASY FOCUSING ON THE CONVERSATION WHILE I TRY TO RESIST TEMPTATION AT THE SAME TIME.

Gnuk 2016/02/11(Thu)05:28 No. 700966 ID: 7675b5
File 145519728848.jpg - (55.76KB , 800x480 , AMHQ073.jpg )

Kobold Empress :"What about you, lady Konda? Was his plead to overcome his rival the only driving motivation for his reanimation?"

Konda: "Oh. Uh, no. I-i saw potential in his actions. I d-didn't think he'd r-r-retain his memories when he raised. I was just astonished by the fact that he managed to c-cleave through my army! I t-though he'd make a good bodyguard for my person"

Kobold Empress :"Oh i can imagine. Taking on entire armies must require a lot of stamina and raw power. I believe you might have picked a good candidate to take care of your... well-being~"

Gnuk 2016/02/11(Thu)05:32 No. 700967 ID: 7675b5
File 145519753528.jpg - (77.51KB , 600x600 , AMHQ074.jpg )

I SHOULD DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT GETS TOO LATE. I MUST REMEMBER THAT I AM HERE TO GAIN INFORMATIONS ABOUT MY BROTHER.

"I BEG YOUR PARDON, YOUR HIGHNESS. I'D WISH TO ASK A COUPLE QUESTIONS, BEFORE MY MIND... SLIPS AWAY. THE SPELL MIGHT NOT BE REALLY WORKING TOO WELL FOR NOW AND I'M AFRAID I'D FORGET IF MY BRAIN STARTS TO ROT. I'M SURE LATER MISTRESS KONDA CAN FIX IT."

Kobold Empress: "Oh! But of course! I was forgetting that it was the whole point of the dinner. Sometimes i get forgetful when i'm having fun~. What do you want to know?"

You seek word of another human who ventured into the monster lands, several years ago. Have you heard rumors of the exploits or travels of Sir Humpy?

Gnuk 2016/02/11(Thu)10:39 No. 700986 ID: 41ada0
File 145521598623.jpg - (39.16KB , 500x600 , AMHQ075.jpg )

"HAVE YOU HEARD OF A KNIGHT THAT CAME IN THE MONSTERLANDS ALMOST SEVEN YEARS AGO? NAMED SIR HUMPREY MCMANHAMMER? HE IS THE ONE I SEEK."

Kobold Empress: "Humprey? Mcmanhammer? Mmmmmmh. No, i don't think. There have been a bunch of knights coming and going from the monsterlands. But most of them either got lost or died without us knowing their names."

OH NO. HOW WILL I KNOW WHERE TO POINT MY ANGER AND HOLY RAGE AGAINST IF I DON'T KNOW WHO KILLED MY BROTHER...

Gnuk 2016/02/11(Thu)10:46 No. 700988 ID: 41ada0
File 145521640711.jpg - (55.88KB , 600x600 , AMHQ076.jpg )

SHE FINALLY GETS OFF MY LAP, FREEING ME FROM HER GRASP.

Kobold Empress: "Though... I heard rumors coming from the northern realms about a couple of kingdoms being shaken by the arrival of a powerful human knight. Considering the fact that the man you are looking for is stronger than you. And that you managed to defeat an entire army of undead, i do believe it might be him"

"AND YOU KNOW HIS NAME?"

Kobold Empress: "No, but the rulers of the iron mountain kingdoms are coming here for the council in about 3 days."

She gestures to her servants and grabs a cup of wine.

Kobold Empress: "I can ask them more informations before they arrive, or have my servants do some investigations."

"THAT WOULD BE GREAT, YOUR HIGHNESS."

Gnuk 2016/02/11(Thu)10:49 No. 700989 ID: 41ada0
File 145521659902.jpg - (52.88KB , 600x600 , AMHQ077.jpg )

Kobold Empress: "But..."

UH?

Kobold Empress: "I am not going to do this for free. If i'm going to do this for you, you two will have to do something for me too. A favour for a favour."

SHE TURNS AND SMILES MALICIOUSLY

Kobold Empress: "I scratch your back, you scratch mine. What do you say?"

You bang that kobold right now damn it.
It's the only way.

>>700990
That's the ONLY solution!

The only reasonable response (especially with an evil smile like that) is that you don't know if you can accept until you know what the favor is.

But probably, yes.

(inb4 it's literally you scratching each other's backs)

scratch her back... literally.

>>700989
>maliciously
Maybe we shouldn't agree to anything.

Tell her she doesn't need to trouble herself on your behalf. The information she's given you will be more than enough!

Scratch her back.

Rake your sword against it if necessary, but you gotta satisfy that itch.

>>701006
Indeed. We wouldn't want our cover as a undead soldier blown

You'll do anything so long as it's honorable.

Since she already knows the favor she's paying us it would only be fair that we know what favor we would owe her.

Do it, any price is worth this

Tell her that you cannot make such a decision on your own as you are Konda's property. And inconveniencing one's mistress is highly unchivalrous.

On an unrelated note, PURE KNIGHTO DESERVES PURE WAIFU.

Gnuk 2016/02/11(Thu)13:30 No. 701024 ID: 41ada0
File 145522624179.jpg - (66.92KB , 800x600 , AMHQ078.jpg )

"I WOULD BE UP TO HONOR YOUR REQUEST YOUR OFFER, YOUR HIGHNESS. EVEN IMMEDIATELY IF IT MEANS GETTING YOUR HELP"

Kobold Empress: ""Oh, my. So eager ~"

"BUT I AM STILL PROPERTY OF LADY KONDA. AND I CANNOT AGREE TO ANYTHING THAT IT'S NOT HONORABLE AND OK FOR HER."

Konda: "Noooooooo, don't bring me in thiiiiis"

Gnuk 2016/02/11(Thu)13:34 No. 701025 ID: 41ada0
File 145522648363.jpg - (62.10KB , 600x700 , AMHQ079.jpg )

Kobold Empress: "Would there be any problems with it, Lady Konda?"

Konda: "I... i-i don't know, your highness. W-would you mind let me think about it?"

Kobold Empress: "But of course~ My favour doesn't need to be answered now. Take your time to think about it. My offer is always valid~"

SHE DRINKS FROM HER CHALICE

Kobold Empress: "And in case we can work something that will satisfy everyone.~"

Inform her that since she knows the nature of the favor she is doing it is required you know yours.

Gnuk 2016/02/11(Thu)13:37 No. 701028 ID: 41ada0
File 145522663558.jpg - (77.89KB , 800x550 , AMHQ080.jpg )

THE REST OF THE DINNER GOES ON QUIETLY, WITH MINOR CHITCHAT ABOUT MAGIC THAT SEEMS TO HELP KONDA RELAX A BIT.

WE GET BACK TO OUR ROOM AFTER THAT. IT'S KINDA LATE BUT WE COULD STILL TAKE A LOOK AT THE BOOK.

"WELL THAT WENT ALRIGHT, NO?"

Gnuk 2016/02/11(Thu)13:41 No. 701029 ID: 41ada0
File 145522686629.jpg - (77.63KB , 900x550 , AMHQ081.jpg )

Konda: "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuurgh"

"WHAT'S WRONG?"

SHE FLOPS ON THE BED HEADFIRST.

Konda: "Too much social iteraction... I'm exhausted..."

"YOU WERE KINDA NERVOUS, BUT YOU DID A GOOD JOB."

Konda: "At least... the food was good..."

AT LEAST SHE GOT TO EAT. YOU DIDN'T GET ANYTHING SINCE YOU STILL HAD TO POSE AS AN UNDEAD, DESPITE THE LIE YOU AND KONDA CAME OUT...

PUT IT IN HER BUTT

Order room service. Get the good steak with pomegranate juice, because catering is expensive whether you order scrambled eggs or the whole chicken.

Use her butt as a seat. Pat her on the head and tell her she did well. Perhaps you can train her to become good?

To be polite, lets wait out on the book reading, she seems too tired for that. Room service sounds good though.

Land on the bed yourself like an angel in the snow. Offer her some praise for doing so well under pressure.

>At least... the food was good...
I don't suppose we have any snacks or rations? You disguise meant you didn't get to eat.

Thank her for getting you that audience, and providing you cover. You understand being included in any bargaining with the Empresses is a burden, and you will do your best to repay this favor!

>I'm exhausted
>face down
Offer relating back rubs to mistress / the sorceress you honorably owe a favor to repay?

>>701030
PUT IT ON HER BUTT
Your butt that is.

Pester her to find you some food.

Resist the urge to touch the tail. In either sense of the word.