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File 145231416198.png - (5.86KB , 500x500 , 1-0.png )
692327 No. 692327 ID: 3a9db6

Come on, come on...
Expand all images
No. 692329 ID: 3a9db6
File 145231417927.png - (5.05KB , 500x500 , 1-1.png )

No. 692330 ID: 3a9db6
File 145231420616.png - (9.75KB , 500x500 , 1-2.png )

H-h… ha ha ha. HA HA! Yesss. You did it. You jumped out of a god damn train. Holy shit what a rush.

Ok. Successful failure. Going Apollo 13 on this bitch. So what if you ditched the loot. That whole heist was goin’ south anyway. Important thing is… the feds’ll never find you out here!


Aaaallll the way out in… in…
No. 692331 ID: 3a9db6
File 145231422792.png - (21.82KB , 500x500 , 1-3.png )

No. 692332 ID: 3a9db6
File 145231425205.png - (5.37KB , 500x500 , 1-4.png )

Sudden turtle: “Oh-ho! Why hullo there stranger! Were you laughing just now?”

You: “What? No, I wasn’t laughing. Why would I be laughing alone?”

Sudden turtle: “Well golly, I dunno, now that you mention it! What’s your name, newcomer?”

No. 692333 ID: 799984

Rook Johnson.
No. 692334 ID: 15fae4

Charlemagne "The Legend" Llewellyn.
No. 692335 ID: 61fd94

No. 692337 ID: 600e3f

No. 692340 ID: 15a025

No. 692345 ID: 3a9db6
File 145231572472.png - (5.96KB , 500x500 , 1-5.png )

>Charlemagne "The Legend" Llewellyn

You: “Folks call me Charlie. The ladies call me Chuck.”
No. 692347 ID: 3a9db6
File 145231575665.png - (5.40KB , 500x500 , 1-6.png )

Turtle: “Charlie, eh! Well ain’t that a good name for a fella. You comin’ by old Coxwette to visit?”

You: “Actually I was hoping to find someplace to stay a little longer.”

Turtle: “WELL AIN’T THAT A PEACH!! We ain’t had newcomers in a MICRO-WAVE MINUTE!”

You: “So there’s someplace I can stay for awhile?”

Turtle: “Well o’ course!”

You: “I appreciate it, pal. I don’t have a lot to move in-”

Turtle: “HOLD ON THERE friend! You ain’t thinkin’ you’ll stay for free are ya?”

You: “I’m a little strapped for… look, I don’t have anything. I’m broke, pal.”

Turtle: “Well that’s an easy one, pally! You just gotta find yourself a job! Plenty o’ people in town need a helpin’ hand. I figger you can go ask around, and you’ll find a place to stay, too!”

You: “Know of any place in particular, or…?”

Turtle: “W… SURE!! We got the post office, the library, the bakery, the café… oh, and the Plath House o’ course. Ol’ Mona Plath runs a bed ‘n’ breakfast in her BIG OL’ HOUSE!”
No. 692350 ID: 61fd94

Big old house sounds like the best lead.

Unless payday is today, we're gonna need somewhere free to sleep tonight though.
No. 692351 ID: 799984

Kill this turtle man.
No. 692352 ID: 15fae4

I say the Cafe. We can get some complimentary employee coffee and brood.
No. 692353 ID: 600e3f

Big house. With those charming good looks you might be able to get a free night's stay. Or, at least, a job.
No. 692358 ID: f2461f

Cafe, also ask for the name of this turtle.
No. 692363 ID: 3a9db6
File 145231798742.png - (6.51KB , 500x500 , 1-7.png )

As much as you'd love to, you're on the lamb. You've gotta fly straight.

...for a while. At least.
No. 692367 ID: 3a9db6
File 145231878697.png - (6.11KB , 500x500 , 1-8.png )

You decide that the Big Old House is the best lead for the moment, and your best shot at getting a free bed for the night. The café probably doesn’t have beds.

You: “Thanks pal.”

Turtle: “Don’t ya dare mention in, friendo! It’s a pleasure, y’hear? Any time, friend!!! The name’s Harold! Harold Pal!”

What a fuckin’ asshole.
No. 692368 ID: 3a9db6
File 145231880706.png - (44.65KB , 500x500 , new_mission_1.png )

No. 692369 ID: 3a9db6
File 145231883501.png - (33.80KB , 500x500 , 1-9.png )

That asshole wasn’t kidding. This place is HUGE. Fountains, topiaries… you’ve never seen so many horizontal panels or Norman windows in my god damned life! You grab hold of one of them knockers and let it fly.
No. 692370 ID: 3a9db6
File 145231885287.png - (6.45KB , 500x500 , 1-10.png )

Lady: “O-oh… hello. I don’t think I’ve seen you before. How can I help you, sir?”
No. 692372 ID: 15a025

Tell her you need a place to stay while you job hunting.
No. 692373 ID: c9b901

"It's no surprise you've not seen me before, miss, as I've only just arrived in town! As a fresh immigrant, I of course have two dire needs: At least one job, and a minimum of one place to stay. I was assured you deal in the latter, and with the size of your establishment, I also have hopes to the former!"

... You did remember to brush the worst of the train dust off yourself, right? Good first impressions, Charlie.
No. 692374 ID: 600e3f

Use that charm! Introduce yourself and play the whole "Innocent guy in need of a good home". Or, y'know, ask for a job.
No. 692376 ID: 15fae4


I'm just a weary traveller getting settled in to a strange land. Can you help me?
No. 692406 ID: 3a9db6
File 145233410038.png - (7.28KB , 500x500 , 1-11.png )

You: “I’m new in town, ma’am, and I’m looking for a job to help me get situated. I’d be mighty appreciative if you might tell me about a place I could stay the ni-”

She gasps and yanks the door open.

Lady: “Golly! A visitor! A… an actual visitor!”

You: “Pardon-”

Lady: “Come in! Come in out of the cold! Let me get you a plate of food. Not… not that I cook that much when there are no guests… but I hope you’re not too put off if I have a meal ready to eat already. Come in, come in!”
No. 692408 ID: 3a9db6
File 145233414056.png - (11.10KB , 500x500 , 1-12.png )

Lady: “Th-there we are! So cozy! Your blanket is warmed, pillows fluffed, and I’ve got you a lovely bowl of soup next to the fire. I made it myself! Are you comfy, Mister…?”

You: “Lewellyn.”

Lady: “Mister Lewellyn. I’m Ramona Plath, owner of the Plath House Inn. It’s lovely to have a visitor. So lovely!”

You: “Call me Chuck.”

Ramona: “Can I get you anything else?”
No. 692409 ID: 5ad4a7

Glass of water? Some lovely conversation?
No. 692423 ID: 9816c1

I take it she doesn't get many guests. Must be hard having such a large lovely home for the purpose of having guests and then having no guests.
No. 692434 ID: c9b901

That was rather quick. Tell her: This is lovely, but before you both get swept further, you don't want to misrepresent yourself. You should really make it clear that there's a reason you mentioned the job first. You were hoping to find something before the end of the day, so that an advance could hopefully fund your staying somewhere.

You could say: This is such a nice inn, you're quite sure you don't have enough money right now to be able to afford staying here, though does seem exactly what a weary traveler needs. You could offer to owe her, and pay once you do have the funds in a few days or so, but of course she'd be in her rights not to trust the words of a stranger. Alternately, if she had any needs you could see to, either, you'd be happy to pay for lodging that way as well.
No. 692438 ID: 7153cd

Actually, I was wondering if I could get a job, but it seems like what you need most is someone to bring in customers.
No. 692451 ID: 61fd94

☐ Kill the turtle man and get away with it

Gonna go out on a limb here, but it sure sounds like this inn doesn't get any visitors from her reaction.

>“Can I get you anything else?”
*eyebrow waggle* Company for the evening?
No. 692452 ID: f2461f

A job.
Could you get me a job so we can pay you back for all your hospitality?
No. 692580 ID: 3a9db6
File 145239719214.png - (5.98KB , 500x500 , 1-13.png )

You: “I’m truly appreciative, ma’am-”

Ramona: “Please, call me Mona.”

You: “I’m truly appreciative Mona, but see, I need a job if I want to make a lasting living here in town.”

Ramona: “Strong work ethic, I see. You know, you remind me of my husband in that way. Such an honest man. I could use someone to help with cleaning. You know, like a… like a…”

You: “A maid.”

Ramona: “Well, maybe not in such a word, but yes.”

You give Ramona a sly grin.

You: “Are you sure there’s nothing else I could offer in exchange for staying the night?”

Ramona: “Other than that, well… it may surprise you, but the Plath House is rather strained for visitors. It reflects on the poor state of tourism in Coxwette. If we could get someone to bring us at least one new visitor. After you, of course. I know it’s not much, and you’re probably looking at other offers in town.”

She’s right - there probably are other jobs available in town. You consider the offer carefully.

Accept housekeeping job? Y/N
No. 692582 ID: 15fae4




No. 692583 ID: 600e3f


PLAN C: Don't become a crossdressing maid. Actually, given his nature he might just.. Well, maybe he'd look good in a maid outfit
No. 692584 ID: cf91e4

>you remind me of my husband in that way
Where is he at the moment; shouldn't he be keeping such a beautiful woman company?
(getting an outright statement if he's dead. Don't want to have him show up when we're trying to mack on his wifey)

I like the idea of him being a maid, but I wanna see who'd we work with at the library, cafe, and bakery.
No. 692585 ID: 9816c1

I think we should check other offers first. I do find the idea of crossdressing maid trap adventures way more tempting than I am comfortable with though.
No. 692586 ID: 0fc976

The male term is 'manservant,' as maid is to maidservant. So sure, you can do housework.
No. 692587 ID: 86ff22

On the one hand, there are probably better jobs, but on the other, you'd be more likely to get those jobs if you were able to rest for a night and get cleaned up.

I'd say turn down a long-term position for now, just until you look to see if there's anything that would suit you better. But in exchange for a bed and a washbasin, you'd be happy to spend your evenings helping her with anything that a strapping young man would be especially useful for. Like... moving furniture! Or chopping firewood. Or is that an anachronism? She has a fireplace right there behind you, you must be able to do that.

Say, Charlie, if we're going to look for work, maybe you should think for a moment on what your particular talents are?
No. 692588 ID: 3a9db6
File 145239940426.png - (43.68KB , 500x500 , new_mission_2.png )

No. 692589 ID: 3a9db6
File 145239943023.png - (6.61KB , 500x500 , 1-14.png )

You think you had best to wait to see some more offers before you take this job, but you do need a place to stay.

You: “I’d like to get to know the town a bit before I take on the job, but I am happy to work off anything I owe for the night. Say… where is your husband, anyway?”

Ramona: “Oh… yes, of course. I will let you know if there is anything you can help with tonight. My husband, ah… yes, well. He… if I was a better wife he would still be here. He left when our daughter was born. I’d… really rather not…”
No. 692592 ID: 9816c1

It's fine if she doesn't want to talk about it. Did not expect to find out she was a mother though. How old is her daughter?
No. 692595 ID: 3a9db6
File 145240095028.png - (5.60KB , 500x500 , 1-15.png )

You: “Oh, you have a daughter?”

Ramona is insanely glad for a change of subject.

Ramona: “Yes, she’s eighteen, and she works as the head librarian down at the Coxwette Library. Can you believe it? Just she and I growing up in this big old house. I’m so proud.”

You: “She sounds like a wonderful individual, Ramona. You have reason to be-”
No. 692596 ID: 3a9db6
File 145240096470.png - (7.74KB , 500x500 , 1-16.png )

You: “Wait, did you say eighteen?”
No. 692597 ID: 3663d3

NEW new mission: tap that.

for now, cover up your curiosity with a compliment to her "you look so young yourself it surprised me"
No. 692601 ID: 265534

Yeah, we can't be discounting any mother/daughter action this early in the game.
No. 692602 ID: 9816c1

Whatever you do, do not imagine a mother/daughter three way.

So have you taken a chance to try the food yet?
No. 692603 ID: 6c1355


He must tap both of them.
No. 692605 ID: 91bcb4

Butle up that butlering job, butler!
No. 692606 ID: 61fd94

Yup. The cuddly inkeeper and the sexy librarian must be wooed.

Potentially at the same time.
No. 692607 ID: 47160d

Perhaps shouting things that imply that you wish to... partake of the woman's daughter is not the best choice if you want that job
No. 692610 ID: 3a9db6
File 145240368463.png - (6.92KB , 500x500 , 1-17.png )

You backpedal vigorously.

You: “I just… you look so young! I’d never in a thousand years believe you had a daughter of eighteen, Mona.”

Ramona blushes and turns away.

Ramona: “Oh… no, no. I’m just… I’m just an ugly old bag. That’s what Edward always... you’re too kind, Chuck. How do you like the soup?”

That was smooth as fuck, and your momentary panic is supplanted by a rush of testosterone. Both of them? Interesting…

Anyway, you haven’t tried the soup yet, but DON’T MIND IF YOU DO!
No. 692612 ID: 3a9db6
File 145240370923.png - (7.11KB , 500x500 , 1-19.png )

No. 692613 ID: 3a9db6
File 145240371947.png - (7.62KB , 500x500 , 1-18.png )

No. 692614 ID: 3a9db6
File 145240373088.png - (56.96KB , 500x500 , new_mission_3.png )

No. 692624 ID: 91bcb4

Weakly smile and say something to the line of 'not meaning to disrespect or anything, but we might need some... improvements on the food if we want to attract guests.'
No. 692625 ID: f56624

Needs more salt.
No. 692631 ID: 600e3f

Try not to vomit. Vomit anyways.
No. 692635 ID: 15a025

Violently vomit all over the place, then blame it on a horrible stomach virus you have.
No. 692637 ID: 86ff22

Do not vomit.
No. 692664 ID: 5ad4a7

Control thy stomach (I doubt it's even that bad anyway) and ask her what she made this out of. Just... sortof... set it aside.

Do you know how to cook?
No. 692666 ID: be1222

Do not talk about the cooking for now, we gotta get on her good side if we're gonna be staying here. Distract her with a flirt; most of the time, it works every time.
No. 692677 ID: 15fae4


do not listen to this poster, he is SATAN
No. 692679 ID: cf91e4

Let her know her cooking needs some work. You might be able to show her some tips!(you can't possibly be a worse cook than she is)
No. 692684 ID: 9816c1

Describe to us exactly what is wrong with the soup. That way we can help her improve her cooking and earn lots of gratitude.
No. 692710 ID: b8d5aa

pretend to enjoy the soup. give her cooking advice later, if you know anything about cooking.
No. 692719 ID: 86ff22

"You might need some fresher ingredients."
No. 692725 ID: 3a9db6
File 145245326488.png - (5.36KB , 500x500 , 1-20.png )

The soup tastes like dishwater with newspaper left in to soak out the ink, then a shovel full of salt and pepper added. There might be what you think is chicken floating in the godawful broth, but it may also be pieces of bread or possibly old cheese. Breaking open the chunks reveals pockets of crumbly dreck somehow completely untouched by the liquid. It smells decent, which only serves to betray the mouth to a nasty surprise.

You ask her what is in it.

Ramona: “Oh, hm, I used the broth from some bones and cobs I had kept frozen since last year’s Cornfest. I boiled in some capers and celery leaves and then added carrots, sugar, salt, and pepper. Oh, and I also used some oil from the fryer, but there’s no actual potato in it, I don’t think.”

Even if you knew the first thing about cooking, this woman is beyond instruction.
No. 692727 ID: 9816c1

She says she doesn't cook much when there aren't guests. So what exactly is it she eats when she isn't cooking?
No. 692728 ID: 15a025

I think it's time to give her some cooking lessons then. It's clear she doesn't know anything about preparing a nice meal.
No. 692731 ID: 3a9db6
File 145245639165.png - (5.96KB , 500x500 , 1-21.png )

You try to phrase this tactfully.

You: “So, Mona, do you cook for yourself usually?”

Ramona: “Oh, sometimes I do, but usually I go over to the Farthing Passion Café. Penny cooks it up better than anyone in town.”

You: “I’ll b e sure to stop by.”

Ramona: “Oh, and if I’m feeling a bit… naughty,”

Your ears perk up.

Ramona [whispering]: “I grab myself a Danish at Marcie’s Bakery. Don’t tell anyone!”

You: “Uh… your secret is safe with me.”
No. 692732 ID: 15a025

Teased again! Maybe you should go over to that bakery and try to get a job there?
No. 692739 ID: 9816c1

Let's try out that library next. I want to see this woman's daughter.
No. 692741 ID: 61fd94

Maybe we need the cafe or bakery to supply the inn with food for guests. Can't have her poisoning people.
No. 692747 ID: 3a9db6
File 145245943745.png - (9.39KB , 500x500 , 1-22.png )

Well, that bitch can’t cook for shit. No wonder her husband left. As much as you’d love to visit the library, you feel that you should get your job squared away first. Can’t just go around robbing people here, can you? No. Of course you can’t.

You go to the bakery.

You are now free to roam the town as you’d like. You may request to see your current MISSION LIST at any time, and you may also consult the TOWN MAP, which is posted in the town square.
No. 692748 ID: 3a9db6
File 145245946535.png - (11.79KB , 500x500 , 1-23.png )

You arrive at the bakery. A whimsical sign above the door reads “Pan’s Cake Bakery”. Like everything else in this town, except for maybe the Plath House, it’s a miserably quaint and charming little building. At the moment, it’s devoid of visitors, but it has two booths, a display counter, and one of those tacky little rotating display glass cases. All are full of luscious pastries.

Cat: “W’ah! A newcomer! And you’re a cat just like me! You… are a cat, right?”

You: “Probably.”

Cat: “My name’s Marcie! What can I get for you today? I’d love to fill you up something tasty!”
No. 692751 ID: 15fae4


We only just met, girl, at least let me take you to dinner first.
No. 692752 ID: 9816c1

Wait, if her wanting to fill us up something tasty is something sexual does that mean she isn't quite a her?

Anyway we're kinda new here and looking for a job. Some turtle we met said you might be looking for help.
No. 692753 ID: 3a9db6
File 145246119779.png - (7.71KB , 500x500 , 1-24.png )

You: “We just met! At least let me buy you dinner first!”

Marcie: “You want to buy me dinner…? Why… why that’s so kind!”

You: “Uh… y…”

She doesn’t get it. You immediately regret your joke.
No. 692754 ID: 86ff22

>I’d love to fill you up something tasty!

What a coincidence!

... Nothing right now, I'm afraid. I'm actually looking around town to see if there's anyone with an opening for me.

For a job.

I just happened to come here first, but once I have something to spend, I'm sure I'll be back here regularly. You wouldn't know anyone who needs help with anything, would you?
No. 692755 ID: 15a025

Tell her you actually came here looking for a job.
No. 692759 ID: 47160d

...how is everyone in this town stupid?
No. 692760 ID: 265534

Now tell her you want her to play test a new mouth-based video game.
No. 692761 ID: 9816c1

If by stupid you mean unaware of sexual innuendo you should remember they live in a town called cocks wet.

Ask about possible job openings.
No. 692763 ID: 61fd94

Either backpeddle, or schedule any date / dinner a few evenings hence, when you'll actually be able to afford anything.
No. 692769 ID: 86ff22

No backing out!

Say you were kind of joking, but you would like to. You don't actually have any idea of what places you go for dinner in this town, though, and you're not sure when you're going to be free to take her out, since you don't know what job you're going to find.
No. 692772 ID: 3a9db6
File 145246428601.png - (9.57KB , 500x500 , 1-25.png )

You: “As much as I’d love dinner with such a lovely young lady, I’ve come searching for a job, ma’am. Do you have any openings?”

Marcie: “Gosh, you’re sweeter than a fresh cream filling! Yes mister, I’ve got a nice hand job for you if’n you’re interested!”

You: “…excuse me?”

Marcie: “Y’know, a job where you’ll be up using your hands. Not one of them lousy book-and-desk jobs like they got up at the library. I need a delivery boy!”
No. 692773 ID: 3663d3

oh okay, that sounds good.
No. 692774 ID: c3e932

What's the pay?
No. 692775 ID: 9816c1

What is she doing with her left hand? If it is what I think she's doing that motion can't possibly have anything to do with a job as a delivery boy.

How many delivery requests does she get in such a small town anyway?
No. 692777 ID: 3a9db6
File 145246568551.png - (7.64KB , 500x500 , 1-26.png )

You: “That sounds like a sweet gig.”

Marcie: “Hah!”

You: “What’s the rate?”

Marcie: “30 bux a day, plus commission for big loads!”

You: “Not bad…”

Not as good as boosting banks, but not bad for a fast job.

You: “How many deliveries do you get in a small town like these?”

Marcie: “Folks ‘round here love their pastries, but they’re all so busy workin’ - yours truly included - that they don’t have time to come inside!”

You: “So I’d just be delivering to everyone?”

Marcie: “You got it, mister. Everyone in town gets a piece of these buns!”
No. 692779 ID: 47160d

Well at the very least it would give you a chance to see the town, and check things out
No. 692780 ID: 4a684e

So we'd be taking a large load? Of bread that is. For as small as the town seems it seems like a job worth taking.
No. 692782 ID: 9816c1

So we would be delivering hot loads from your oven all throughout the town?
No. 692783 ID: 5ad4a7

I'd sure like to fill that position. How about you show me the ropes?
No. 692785 ID: 86ff22

You'd only be working the bakery hours, too. You'd make a delivery round around town, what, twice? Once for breakfast and once for lunch. Plenty of time in the evenings. And you can likely get a discount on buying items yourself, which you can spread around for good will.

Sounds like a good job.
No. 692788 ID: 3e2cae

No. 692792 ID: cf91e4

No. 692794 ID: 3a9db6
File 145247016905.png - (6.81KB , 500x500 , 1-27.png )

You: “I’d sure like to fill that position. How about you show me the ropes?”
No. 692795 ID: 3a9db6
File 145247027136.png - (50.95KB , 500x500 , job_complete.png )

[Congratulations! You've earned your first EXP! Certain side-missions requires enough EXP to initiate. At the end of the quest, your EXP total will determine how many BONUS LEWDS you get!]

Total: 40 EXP
No. 692796 ID: 3a9db6
File 145247029528.png - (7.98KB , 500x500 , 1-28.png )

Marcie: “I’d love to show you the ropes! I love how eager you are! That really gets me going… to work!”

You: “O… k. So, where’s the truck?”



Marcie laughs.

Marcie: “Oh, you were serious? There are no cars in Coxwette because there are no roads! On the bright side, though, you’ll get limited access to this marvelous ladies’ fixed-gear pannier bicycle!.”

You: “It’s… lovely.”

Marcie: “Isn’t it, though? Stop by any time to ride. You can use it on or off the job, but you’ve got to chain it up here. If to break it, you buy it!”
No. 692797 ID: be1222

Breaking and/or buying it are not really options at this point, so let's be careful with it. But hey, transportation! Let's go ahead and give it a go, get right to work and impress her with our MOTIVATION
No. 692798 ID: 61fd94

Do we have any deliveries to make now?

We should probably check that town map soonish.
No. 692799 ID: 4a684e

Transportation's a good thing. Where are we scheduled to take things? Maybe we can see a few new places and make some drop offs before these hot buns get cold and make the customers... cross.
No. 692800 ID: 86ff22

Ask if you could have a small advance on your pay, just so that you can afford somewhere to stay tonight (and have a little spending money).
No. 692801 ID: 9816c1

See if there are any deliveries due out right now. If there isn't use the bike to quickly explore town seeking out potential hotel guests or new chefs in need of employment.
No. 692802 ID: 3a9db6
File 145247201098.png - (7.88KB , 500x500 , 1-29.png )

You: “Great. I’ll make sure to deliver these hot buns before they get cold and make your customers cross!”

Marcie: “That’s the spirit!”

You: “Do you get it? Like the song? Hot Cross Buns?”

Marcie stares blankly. Again you regret your joke.

You: “…ok, so where am I headed?”

Marcie: “I haven’t made any deliveries yet today, actually. We thrice weekly orders going out to the the Post Office, the Library, City Hall, the Café, the Shoppe Stoppe, the Police Department, and the Shoolhouse!”

You: “Wow, that’s… a lot of pastries. People really order that much?”

Marcie: “My hands are always busy pulling out orders, but I never fail to satisfy. Don’t worry though! I’ll be sure not to ride you too hard, and if you finish early, don’t sweat it. Just make sure you’re ready to go again in the morning!”

Marcie: “What’s your name, anyway?”

You: “Chuck. Say, anyway I can get an advance on my pay? I’m new in town, and I gotta pay for a room.”

Marcie: “No can do, sorry Chuck! My books are the tightest in town!”

You begin to sweat, and feel the need to get out of here. Where will you deliver first? Sounds like she delivers to almost everywhere in town.
No. 692803 ID: 1009ca

to the womenfolk first, with any luck they have assets to make up for being gormless bints.
No. 692804 ID: 9816c1

The police, you should make sure to get in good with the law of these small towns. Make sure not to snicker if it turns out you're delivering doughnuts.
No. 692805 ID: 4a684e

Find out where she doesn't actually deliver. Maybe there's a reason? Also hit up the town hall or post office, great place to start if you need to find your way around and learn a little history of the town.
No. 692809 ID: 15a025

The cops sound like a good first stop. Gives you a chance to make yourself seem like a fine, upstanding person around here.
No. 692811 ID: 86ff22

Good gracious. Hot cross buns are literally a type of bun with a cross on them served hot, I don't know how she doesn't know them.

Ask if she has a map handy, since you don't know the town layout yet.
No. 692815 ID: 3a9db6
File 145247519493.png - (6.57KB , 500x500 , 1-30.png )

Chingedy-ching! Riding a bike!

Marcie tells you that she doesn’t have a map, but that there IS one posted up in Town Square, which is easy enough to find.
No. 692816 ID: 3a9db6
File 145247521920.png - (10.20KB , 500x500 , 1-31.png )

Dog cop lady: “Who are you? New in town. Deliverin’ for Marcie? Ok. Thanks. Drop the goods. What’ll it be?”

You accept the payment, and the officers begin to gorge on doughnuts.
No. 692817 ID: 3a9db6
File 145247525883.png - (48.65KB , 500x500 , donut_complete.png )

Exp total: 50EXP
No. 692819 ID: 3a9db6
File 145247528448.png - (10.22KB , 500x500 , 1-32.png )


You start to snicker.

Dog lady cop: “Hey. Somethin’ funny newguy? Officer can’t enjoy a doughnut? You tried these things? They’re real good.”

Dog guy cop: “Mmmhm.”
No. 692823 ID: 5ad4a7

Oh, are you offering?
No. 692827 ID: be1222

Just tell her that you weren't expecting a police officer to be SO DARN ATTRACTIVE. Or come up with a joke... one that isn't about cops, for safety's sake.
No. 692830 ID: fe06ff

apologies and admit that you haven't tried them, being new.
makes freinds
No. 692832 ID: 15a025

No time to chit chat, our buns will start to get cold! Hurry off to city hall. Maybe you'll get to meet the mayor and possibly their cute daughter, if they have one that is.
No. 692833 ID: 13ac27

since we already met mona, going to the library sounds like a logical option.
yes, get a map, no need getting lost now.
No. 692834 ID: 61fd94

>apologies and admit that you haven't tried them, being new.
And after all, you can't eat your deliveries!
No. 692835 ID: 4a684e

Play it off by making this bun thing into a joke you "just thought of" and haul ass.
No. 692864 ID: 38685c

You'd love to try her donut, but you've got deliveries to make.
No. 692887 ID: 3a9db6
File 145248658859.png - (8.48KB , 500x500 , 1-33.png )

You: “Sorry, no time to chat officer! I’ve got to get these hot buns to my customers before the get cross.”

Dog lady cop: “Ha. Hot Cross Buns. I get it. That’s funny.”

You: “Heh, I just thought of it on the fly-”

Dog lady cop: “New guy. You’re alright. I’m watchin’ you. Stay outta trouble.”

You: “Yes ma’am.”
No. 692888 ID: 3a9db6
File 145248660510.png - (9.11KB , 500x500 , 1-34.png )

You pedal to the library. It is easily the largest building in town, and sports a grandiose facade. The sprawling courtyard is fit for a city part, with a couple of oak trees and an old well.
No. 692889 ID: 3a9db6
File 145248662104.png - (11.87KB , 500x500 , 1-35.png )

???: “Oh hello. Are you looking for a book? We have more than ten books available here. Maybe you want a computer. We have a computer lab with computers inside the lab.”

You are taken aback by the librarian’s extreme braces and snorting voice.
No. 692891 ID: 265534

Well, bitch be ugly. But we committed to a mother/daughter threeway and we have to stick to our word.
No. 692892 ID: 61fd94

...you'd still do her.

Maybe she just needs to be out of glasses. Or in different glasses. And not bare all her teeth and braces in a grimace all the time.
No. 692893 ID: be1222

What an unfortunate reveal we have here. Deliver pastry, try to be nice, be a GOOD DELIVERYMAN.
No. 692895 ID: 15fae4


NEW MISSION: Unlock this girl's secret prettiness
No. 692896 ID: 799984

I hope that's not Ramona's daughter. Ask her name. 'Head Librarian' implies underlings, but who knows in a tiny place like this.

I really hope that's not Ramona's daughter.
No. 692897 ID: 162ab6

Looks cute enough to me.

Say you're here to deliver some hot, fresh pastries. And asked who built this place and why because it's enormous.
No. 692900 ID: 3a9db6
File 145248789652.png - (5.24KB , 500x500 , 1-37.png )

???: “Oh, you’re the new deliver guy…”

You: “Yeah, heh, that’s me.”

???: “One second...”

She goes to the back.
No. 692902 ID: 3a9db6
File 145248793945.png - (6.65KB , 500x500 , 1-36.png )

Someone new emerges from the back. You begin to sweat again.

????: “Oh! You must be here with the croissants! Please, set them here on the counter. I don’t think I’ve seen you here before…”
No. 692904 ID: be1222

Now HERE is where you give an introduction. Cute stuff detected right here
No. 692906 ID: f56624

hand her her order and tell her you'll be staying at her mum's for a while
No. 692907 ID: 9816c1

I'm guessing this is the Plath daughter. She has her mother's ears and tail. Introduce yourself.
No. 692909 ID: 799984

Don't mention her mother directly, just say you're new to town and staying at the Plath House Inn.
No. 692911 ID: 162ab6

Pleb tier. Add the other librarian lady to your mission list.

... if that was a lady. Could have been a guy.

85% sure on girl, though.

Also say hello to this clearly inferior girl, and mention new in town, just got delivery job, staying at what you think is her mother's place for now.

Again, question: why is this library so huge for a town like this.
No. 692912 ID: 61fd94

Yes, introduce yourself. You're Chuck. And who are you lovely ladies?
No. 692917 ID: 3a9db6
File 145248908746.png - (6.75KB , 500x500 , 1-38.png )

You: “Hm. Oh, yeah. Croissants. Totally.”

????: “I see you met Selma. She’s my assistant! I’m Sally Plath. It’s so nice to see newcomers in town. It’s so rare these days!”

You: “Yeah, I’m Chuck. I’m actually staying at the Plath house, for a few nights at least. Just started this new job today.”

Sally: “Well, you’re doing a great job! The croissants are usually cold when they get here, and I can see steam rising off of that bag still! I take it you met my mother?”

You: “Yes. Definitely. Lovely lady, your mother. Very sweet.”

Sally: “It’s so charming of you to say! Just wait until you try her cooking, it’s divine!”

You are unsure whether to believe that Sally has actually tried her mother’s cooking, but at the moment all of your concentration is devoted to maintaining eye contact. Eighteen. Legal. Croissants.

Sally: “You ok…?”

You: “Yes. Feeling great, actually. You’re looking sharp as a tack, Sally. Enjoy your croissants.”

Sally: “You’re so kind! I hope you stop by often. Feel free to explore the library! I’m eager to learn your taste in books.”
No. 692919 ID: 61fd94

>You are unsure whether to believe that Sally has actually tried her mother’s cooking
She was raised by her. It must be like poison- she had to have build up an immunity to survive.

>I’m eager to learn your taste in books.
Yes, I'm eager to browse your racks.
No. 692921 ID: 265534

Now that's something you read from front to back without a dustcover.
No. 692924 ID: 4a684e

>Eager to learn your tastes
Nerd chicks are freaks in bed, look at kama sutra books or some shit. Show you're a pervert but a classy one.
No. 692925 ID: 3a9db6
File 145249114726.png - (6.20KB , 500x500 , 1-39.png )

You: “I’m eager to browse your racks.”

Sally: “Oh… oh! Well, you’re welcome to have a look around. I’ll issue you a library card whenever you’d like.”

You contemplate sticking around to explore the library, or resuming your day’s deliveries.
No. 692926 ID: 61fd94

We can make excuses or reheat the pastries if we have to for later deliveries.

Go for it!
No. 692928 ID: f2461f

Ask for a recommendation, it's a easy way to find out her interests.
No. 692929 ID: 4a684e

Food won't stay hot and you need money. Tell her you'll come back later that day for some private reading. Maybe make a quip about showing her favorite rack or sharing her favorite fantasy with you.
No. 692930 ID: 799984

Better to make a good impression with your job. Also probably a good thing to give yourself some space to cool off.
No. 692932 ID: be1222

We'll head here right after work. We need a job more than we need to immediately impress the good lookin ladies
No. 692933 ID: 6e67a4

Resume deliveries. Don't fuck up your job.
No. 692935 ID: 3a9db6
File 145249214064.png - (6.07KB , 500x500 , 1-40.png )

Your dick really wants in, but you’re not about to let it be the boss this time. You drown it out with thoughts of a ladies’ fixed-gear pannier bicycle.

Where are you going to deliver to next?
No. 692936 ID: 0fc976

Wherever was closest on the map.
No. 692937 ID: 61fd94

Your dick.

To the librarian.
No. 692939 ID: be1222

Post office! Gotta stuff your package into their slot
No. 692940 ID: 3a9db6
File 145249332885.png - (232.11KB , 1300x1300 , coxwette_map.png )

You decide to head to town square to gander at the map. Maybe that'll help you decide.
No. 692941 ID: be1222

Oh, City Hall could be a good next stop. Learn who's in charge around here.
No. 692942 ID: 0fc976

City Hall it is! It's closest to the map!
No. 692943 ID: 600e3f


Time to meet the mayor! With a little luck it won't be that turtle fellow.
No. 692944 ID: 47160d

So I know this is late but did anyone notice she blushed? She actually understood! the innuendo I mean.
No. 692947 ID: bb78f2

In this town, she probably thought we were talking like Marcie does, which means she thought we meant well and just talkin' strange instead of flirting with puns...

This means she is the most dangerous person in town to our cover.

Do NOT put your dick in that! Don't fuck her mother, don't pass go and collect 200$. Be as careful as possible around her. Pretend to be AS DUMB as Marcie is.

Scope out the warehouse, might be a good gig to leave on if shit starts getting to hot around here.
No. 692965 ID: 3641d4

To city hall!
No. 692973 ID: 162ab6

School House is least likely to have ladies you'd be interested in, so you could go there to cool down. If you're feeling fine, though, then go to the city hall, then for maximal efficiency you can go cafe, warehouse, school, shoppe and post office. Gotta keep your buns warm.
No. 692987 ID: 8bdff7

Is this Valley of Croissant: The Sequel?

Eat your left arm.
No. 692993 ID: 3a9db6
File 145253625081.png - (10.21KB , 500x500 , 1-41.png )

City Hall is oddly less grandiose than the library. It looks to have been built a bit later, but still has the whole marble column affair around the rotunda. You are approached by a woman in a lavish suit jacket.

Snake: “Oh, hello! You must be new here. I am Susanna Stark, the mayor of this beautiful town. Are those my muffins?”

You: “Yes ma’am. Where do you want these?”

Mayor: “On the table there, please. Is there anything I can do to make you feel at home, whether you’re visiting or staying a bit longer? I certainly hope it’s the latter.”
No. 692995 ID: 600e3f

Flirt.exe online. Or, y'know, just drop off the muffins and go.
No. 692997 ID: a788b7

fuck the snake
No. 692998 ID: 5ad4a7

It is the latter, and, oh, I could think of a few things... (eyebrow waggle)
No. 693010 ID: fe06ff

I wonder if those lumps are tits or just her last meal
No. 693024 ID: cd90cb

You can't quit now! You still got hot buns to deliver.
No. 693036 ID: 162ab6

You'd love to familiarize yourself with the intimate details... of the town's history and culture. But there is still a delivery to complete, so hopefully you can catch up later. You wanted to put in some hard effort to make sure she could have a nice hot muffin, not too dry, ready to be eaten... and you wouldn't deny the same care to others.
No. 693037 ID: f2461f

As much as we would love to stay and chat we have baked good to distribute, maybe later.
No. 693041 ID: 3a9db6
File 145254215286.png - (11.32KB , 500x500 , 1-42.png )

You: “Madam Mayor, thanks for your hospitality, but I’ve got to get running for my next delivery.”

Mayor: “Of course! I do love a nice hard worker, which reminds me… I have a meeting I need to get to. I’m generally quite busy myself, but you caught me at a good time. Unless you have an appointment in the future, I will delegate your needs to my page, Lisa Goodfaith.”

Lisa: “Uh… h-ha hi.”

You guess it’s good to know. Where’s your next delivery?
No. 693045 ID: 600e3f

Let's rock the schoolhouse.
No. 693046 ID: f2461f

We haven't been to The Farthing Passion Cafe yet, let's head there next.
No. 693047 ID: 9816c1

The Passion Cafe
No. 693048 ID: 2a7417

The near thing is the Farthing Passion Cafe. I wonder who what's in season?
No. 693050 ID: bb78f2

You know, I think the ONLY dude in town we've met was that turtle and that cop.
No. 693052 ID: 162ab6

Say you'll look forward in the future, then, to familiarizing yourself with her and her beaver. Assistant.

If you have a delivery to the cafe, it's probably quite a large one, so go there next. Then you can go to the warehouse and circle up around the last three places efficiently.
No. 693055 ID: 3a9db6
File 145254530469.png - (11.66KB , 500x500 , 1-43.png )

The café sits across the street from your boss’ bakery. An elaborate old sign stands out front that reads Farthing Passion Café.

Cat lady: “Eyy, woah, look who’s here! It’s about time with the pastries, ay ay ay.”

You hold up a bag of what looks like an assortment. The café looks to have the largest order of the bunch.

Cat lady: “You’re right across the street, aren’t ya? It’s nothing personal honey, just runnin’ a business here. So you’re the one my niece hired, nuh?”
No. 693056 ID: 3663d3

niece? separate stores run by family in the same town?
No. 693057 ID: be1222

So she's Marcie's aunt, then? Guess working at this kinda place runs in the family. Apologize for the wait, you're still learning your way around town!
No. 693059 ID: 15a025

Tell her your new to town and got horribly lost.
No. 693061 ID: 3a9db6
File 145254643518.png - (5.62KB , 500x500 , 1-44.png )

You: “Yep, that’s me. I got lost, so I had to take a little detour to look at the map.”

Cat lady: “Don’t sweat it. You gotta learn the ropes somehow, right? Just make sure these things are still fresh when you get to me next time! I’m Marcie’s biggest customer, after all. The names Penny, and I own this place.”

You: “It’s a pleasure, Penny.”

Penny: “Say, I don’t suppose you could help me out with something. You’re new in town, so you’ve probably got the clean slate I need.”

Penny lowers her voice.

Penny: “I’m looking for a way to spice up business, so I want to start serving drinks here at the café. Coxwette County is a dry county, so it ain’t exactly easy to get, honey. Think you could help me out?”
No. 693062 ID: 3a9db6
File 145254644491.png - (37.00KB , 500x500 , new_mission_4.png )

No. 693063 ID: be1222

Well, a drop of the hard stuff never hurt anyone. Ask her if she has any clues on where to get it, not like we have any QUESTIONABLE CONNECTIONS yet.
No. 693064 ID: 9816c1

Apologize and let her know it was because you decided to start with the police before you were familiar with the town's layout.
No. 693065 ID: cf91e4

Sure, you have to corrupt the town somehow. I'd say mixed drinks or beer (cider if you wanna be classy) only. Don't want anyone to get blackout drunk and alert the cops, you know.
No. 693066 ID: 15a025

If we ever do run into some large amounts of alcohol for her to sell, bring it in slowly. It'd be pretty obvious if all of a sudden a bunch of people started getting drunk around a town like this that someone's selling it. Bring up the idea of selling to them in a back room or something as well.
No. 693069 ID: bb78f2

Tell her that either means setting up her OWN brewery or shipping in alcohol from outta town. We're going to need details on the few imports the town DOES get.

Moonshining is pretty easy, all told. Probably your best bet, STRONG shit though. That's really spicy.
No. 693079 ID: 9816c1

Or we could somehow convince the Mayor to lift the ban on alcoholic beverages. That would allow us to fulfill the quest objectives without doing anything illegal.
No. 693080 ID: 3a9db6
File 145255051992.png - (7.52KB , 500x500 , 1-45.png )

Penny thinks.

Penny: “There’s got to be some liquor somewhere in Coxwette. If you dig around I bet you can find it. You could hit up Farmer Davey outside of town. He has an apple orchard. But he’s a little bit of a lunatic by all accounts.”

You look at the clock. Just a couple more deliveries left for the day.
No. 693081 ID: 3663d3

say good bye and finish up.
No. 693082 ID: 5ad4a7

I'd wager the Plath House has some too. Lonely lady living by herself probably gets into her cups now and then. That would be a second-hand source, but maybe she could introduce us to her contacts.

For now continue deliveries. To the schoolhouse!
No. 693092 ID: fe06ff

cop lady said to stay out of trouble, finding alchohol sounds like trouble to me
No. 693107 ID: f2461f

We'll talk to her about this later, right now we have a job to do.
No. 693109 ID: 9816c1

Yes, but cop lady didn't give us a quest to stay out of trouble. We need that sweet exp for more bonus lewds. To the school house.
No. 693110 ID: 15a025

Talk to her after work, sounds like our hot buns are getting to be not so hot now.
No. 693115 ID: be1222

Looking into it won't get us in trouble, doing it and getting caught will. Let's get to it after we finish things up with our deliveries. To school!
No. 693116 ID: 3a9db6
File 145256816172.png - (12.91KB , 500x500 , 1-46.png )

You’ll get back to Penny on that one. The idea of breaking the prohibition intrigues and arouses you, but finding the means to do it will require some premeditation.

You ride over to the school… house. It is a small building with two floors and numerous large, simple windows. You’ve never seen a school so small, and frankly didn’t think they still existed. You get off your ladies’ fixed-gear pannier bicycle and take your greasy pastry bag in with you.

Ostrich: “Oh, hello there stranger!”

[ostrich strumming]

Ostrich: “Are those the tasty macaroons?”

You: “Yes’m, they are. You… give your students macaroons?”

She bends over with laughter.

Ostrich: “Lord no. Those are for me, to go with my morning coffee. I don’t think I’ve seen you around! It’s not often-”

You: “No need to finish that thought, ma’am. It’s apparent as I’ve been meeting the townsfolk. Lovely place you got here, Mrs…”

Ostrich: “Miss. Miss Angela!”
No. 693117 ID: 5ad4a7

Tell her it's a pleasure to meet her and ask about the guitar.
No. 693118 ID: be1222

Either she's single because she's a strong independent woman who don't need no man, or because she's a widow. Slip in a little flirt regardless to see how it flies, and deliver her the morning sweets.
No. 693121 ID: 4a684e

Where the hell are the kids? And for such a small town with so many single ladies there doesn't really need to be a big school.
No. 693122 ID: 600e3f

Ash her if she knows how to play Free bird.
No. 693160 ID: 3e2cae

Ask her if she'd be willing to do private tutoring for sex ed. Also adjust your bulge in an obvious way.
No. 693162 ID: 3641d4

Ask her to play Bye bye birdy.
No. 693180 ID: c3e932

good idea
No. 693221 ID: a788b7

marry this perfect angel immediately
No. 693273 ID: 99a64d

Getting hitched is not conducive to fucking all the bitches and burning this town to the ground.
No. 693309 ID: fa8f9d

Call her angel whenever you talk to her.
No. 693337 ID: 799984

Uh, maybe don't be a creep. Curious to hear her play though.
No. 693338 ID: 15fae4


sing us your song, bird
No. 693342 ID: fe06ff

private tutoring seems like a good idea
No. 693344 ID: 3a9db6
File 145264457687.png - (8.29KB , 500x500 , 1-47.png )


You are wholeheartedly opposed to the concept of monogamy! You’ll listen to her sing, though.

You: “Can you play me a song?”

Miss Angela: “Did you say Angel? Eee he he he he. Ooh, no one ever wants to hear!”

She begins to play and sing some dumb song and you zone out about halfway through. When you’re sure it’s over, you clap a few times to make her happy.

Miss Angela: “Did you like it?”

You: “Oh, definitely. Like an angel.”

Miss Angela: “Ooo hoo hoo. Hehehe, you don’t mean that…”

Well, she’s right about one thing, but her laugh’s kind of cute, so maybe you’ll come back.

Miss Angela: “Well… thanks for bringing me my macaroons. I hope you like your new job. Say, do you deliver to the library?”
No. 693345 ID: be1222

We already took care of that today, but if she has anything that needs doing over there, we can stop by again after we finish the rest of our deliveries.
No. 693346 ID: 5ad4a7

No. 693347 ID: 8c66a6

>Say, do you deliver to the library?
Why, yes, I do. In fact, I was just there, ensuring a certain stuffed package came between the cheeks of a lovely lady.

Why do you ask?
No. 693351 ID: eb385b

Don't flirt about other women in front of her that is what you are doing right i gut lost on that one.
No. 693358 ID: fe06ff

compliment her dress
No. 693363 ID: 3e2cae

Release hundreds of spiders from your pockets so they swarm all over the floor and both of you.
No. 693369 ID: 3a9db6
File 145265163039.png - (5.28KB , 500x500 , 1-50.png )

You: “I do, but I already delivered there today. That dress looks great on you, by the way.”

Miss Angela: “Hh…?”

You: “All I’m saying is, if I was in your class, I’d never get any work done is all. Whatcha need at the library?”

Miss Angela: “Ooh! Uh… wh- uh!”
No. 693370 ID: 3a9db6
File 145265164742.png - (5.06KB , 500x500 , 1-49.png )

Miss Angela sweats heavily.

Miss Angela: “Y-your… cardigan is kind of cool. I guess. I mean, wh-whatever…”
No. 693371 ID: 3a9db6
File 145265166642.png - (35.15KB , 500x500 , 1-48.png )

Miss Angela: “I mean, uh, do you think that maybe you could… ehem, next time you are at the library, could you maybe talk to Sally Plath about getting us some updated textbooks?”
No. 693373 ID: fd202f

Sure, we are going to come back there anyway, either today or tomorrow...
No. 693375 ID: acc6fa


Tell her you got a topographical map she can have for geography right now though and whip your dick out.
No. 693377 ID: be1222

New books is probably an easy task, and even if we don't stop there after our shift, we'll be back there tomorrow for sure.
No. 693383 ID: 0e2750

Sure, I'll see if I can put a good word in.
No. 693386 ID: 2ccbb3

Okay, but don't hold your breath or anything.
No. 693387 ID: e01fa6

Silly late 19th century people thinking there would never be another war ever. Didn't they learn from their ancestors calling world war 1 'the war to end war'?
No. 693388 ID: 1009ca

get them some books next time in libary
No. 693389 ID: 0fc976

This is why we need updated textbooks. We'll stop by later today.
No. 693391 ID: 15fae4



okay friend let me stop you for a second
No. 693394 ID: fe06ff

accept quest for new text books
No. 693396 ID: f0e552

Maybe we should come back for ostrich lady when we're done with chores for today, i'm sure she'd like that.
No. 693398 ID: 408b2d

I'm sure we'll be delivering to the library again tomorrow. We can ask while we're there and bring you an answer then.
No. 693467 ID: 3a9db6
File 145270192312.png - (37.46KB , 500x500 , new_mission_5.png )

You: “Yeah, I can stop by tonight or tomorrow. It’s a big library, I’m sure they have some.”

Miss Angela: “Thank you, thank you! I’ll pay you back somehow.”

You’ve got two deliveries left for the day: the Shoppe Stoppe, and the Post Office.
No. 693468 ID: 5ad4a7

Shoppe Stoppe first.
No. 693469 ID: 665ed8

Agreed, might as well see what this town has to offer in traditional goods
No. 693470 ID: 408b2d

Leave the post office delivery for last. SHOW THEM WHAT IT'S LIKE.
No. 693471 ID: 3a9db6
File 145270511302.png - (12.74KB , 500x500 , 1-52.png )

You pedal over to the Shoppe Stoppe.

The store is a small, boxy, white building with garish red trim. A bell rings as you push open the door. A deer stands at the counter and sighs when you enter.

Ellen: “Hello… I guess. Is that the bread?”

You feel like the sex ratio in this town is way off. Maybe it’s just you. You aren’t complaining, of course.
No. 693472 ID: 2a7417

>Maybe it's just you
It's not just you, there was that dog cop and turtle you saw earlier.

Yes it is, all bready to go!
No. 693473 ID: 5ad4a7

Look around. Tell her you can't buy anything today, you just got into town and you're flat broke.
No. 693474 ID: 5ea852

Maybe you're too horny to notice anything other than hot chicks?
No. 693476 ID: 408b2d

Obviously, all the men went to the war and most never came back, not that you'd know about that, you draft-dodging yellow-belly.

Tell her yes, it's the bread. Is she expecting someone else to visit?
No. 693485 ID: 344f4a

Perhaps every woman as some major flaw, like Ramona's awful cooking, and all the men went away to seek out better wives. For a shopkeeper that greeting seemed kinda meh to me.
No. 693489 ID: 3a9db6
File 145271156550.png - (9.47KB , 500x500 , 1-53.png )

You set the bread down.

You: “Are you… expecting someone else?”

Ellen: “No… not really. You stand there and people say hi and they leave. That’s life.”

You: “Why do you work in a store, then?”

Ellen: “Because my mom did, and her mom… I guess”

Ellen sighs.

You: “Do you like to be alone, or…?”

Ellen: “You’re alone even when you’re not alone. That’s life. It’s just a big slow, boring ride and everyone’s in their own car.”

You don’t know how to respond.
No. 693490 ID: 3663d3

"you want to ride on my car? IN! i mean in"
No. 693491 ID: 5ad4a7

Then what's getting married in that analogy? Sharing a garage?

Wanna carpool for a bit, later?
No. 693492 ID: 5ea852

Tell her that life may be a ride in a car, but it's not the car that makes the ride boring or fun, but the people you're with during that ride.
No. 693495 ID: 408b2d

Well, you can turn on the radio and groove to the music, and see some new stuff going by sometimes.
No. 693496 ID: cd90cb

I think we need to take this lady out on a date and show her what life's really like :^)
No. 693497 ID: fe06ff

politely excuse yourself, make a note to avoid debbie downer
No. 693498 ID: f2461f

Do you always use car analogies or did the mood hit you so you just went for it?
Personally life in a fast moving metal box sounds boring, rather be driving around in a transforming mega robot.
No. 693500 ID: 3a9db6
File 145271412795.png - (8.32KB , 500x500 , 1-54.png )

You: “Well, you wanna carpool a bit later?”

Ellen: “What…?”

You: “Y’know, spend a little time together?”

Ellen: “With me? With you? …I dunno… I might just go home and sleep. I dunno. I’m not good with people. I have to think about it…”

How can one bitch be so sad? You don’t have time to think about that, though. The pastries going to the post office are completely cold, but you don’t know why a post office even needs pastries to begin with!

Ellen: “Do you actually need anything? The tailor’s not in today. She’ll be back tomorrow, I guess…”
No. 693501 ID: 6cb462

Get going to the post office before her sadness rubs off on you.

Hopefully, the post office workers won't go postal over cold pastries.
No. 693502 ID: fe06ff

go to post office now
No. 693504 ID: f2461f

Tell her we'll talk later, we need to get to the post office.
No. 693505 ID: 408b2d

Say you don't need anything right now, but you're sure you will in the future. Clothes, but also like soap and toothpaste and such. (You also have no money right now, but don't tell her that.)
No. 693508 ID: 2a7417

Tell her to hang in there.
Y'know, 'cuz you're a cat, and it's a poster, and... nevermind.
No. 693525 ID: 5ad4a7

Nope, gotta go.

Note to self: Deliver everything faster tomorrow, no more talking during delivery.
No. 693556 ID: cf91e4

I don't think it's that so much as we planned our route terribly.

I'd say go City hall, then library, cafe, school, shop, post office, then police department since I figure they're having the donuts cold anyways.(Fresh baked warm donuts are delicious though) Thoughts?
No. 693563 ID: 3a9db6
File 145272911975.png - (10.27KB , 500x500 , 1-51.png )

You bid a quick and quiet farewell to the depressing doe, then ride to the post office. SURPRISE! It is a charming single-room midland building with a simple, welcoming facade. It practically makes you sick...
No. 693564 ID: 3a9db6
File 145272914933.png - (52.62KB , 500x500 , 1-56.png )

No. 693565 ID: 3a9db6
File 145272919311.png - (7.96KB , 500x500 , 1-55.png )

Maildog: “Oh, you’re new huh?”

You: “Yeah, that’s right. I’ve got your, uh…”

You peer into the bag.

You: “Single cookie, ma’am.”

Maildog: “Ma’am, huh? You’re very polite. I suppose you’re the kind and gentle sort?”
No. 693566 ID: fe06ff

"I'm whatever sort you want me to be"
No. 693567 ID: 5ea852

Tell her in a jocular way that you are the whatever sort a lady might need.
No. 693568 ID: 5ad4a7

More of a trouble-maker really.
No. 693569 ID: 211d83

Not really but it never hurts to be polite.
No. 693571 ID: cf91e4


I think she orders the cookie so she gets some company.
No. 693572 ID: 408b2d

I can be, if I need to. I'm not sure whether people can be really limited to "sorts", though.
No. 693573 ID: 3a9db6
File 145273072192.png - (8.09KB , 500x500 , 1-57.png )

You: “I’m whatever sort a lady might need.”

Maildog: “Really? Are you the sort who might, say… run and pick up the mail for me if I gave you 10 bux? I got a lot of sorting that I've been putting off until the end of the day.”
No. 693574 ID: 4a684e

She's a postwoman who needs someone to pick up the post for her? Like other people's mail that needs to be delivered elsewhere?
No. 693575 ID: fe06ff

well you're done your other deliveries so why not!

accept quest!
No. 693577 ID: 408b2d

Is she talking one load of mail from a dropoff at a train station or something, or going around all the postboxes in town and bringing them back? Because we just went around town once for 30 bucks.

Though, a town this small probably only has two or three places to leave mail. One is the office here, another would be over in the residential area, and the mayor would have her own.
No. 693579 ID: 3a9db6
File 145273188879.png - (8.80KB , 500x500 , 1-58.png )

You: “You mean I have to go deliver to everyone in town tonight? Listen, I just got finished-”

Maildog: “Shucks no, mister. Just run and grab the inbound mail from the train and bring it here. It’d be might kind and gentle if you… delivered this to the postbox up at the station, too. Since you’re that sort…”
No. 693580 ID: 5ea852

I had half of mind of changing those ten bucks for a peck on the cheek because of corniness, but that heart is discouraging.

How do we feel about bro-code violations?
No. 693583 ID: fe06ff

I say if she's got a beau we lay off

Help her out anyways, and before you leave be sure to get her name.
No. 693584 ID: 4a684e

Ask who it's from. Could be to her brother or something someone else dropped off. No need to jump the gun.
No. 693586 ID: 211d83

Sure I could do that for you. Is that a love letter to send off to a special friend?
No. 693588 ID: 3a9db6
File 145273328798.png - (4.53KB , 500x500 , 1-59.png )

You: “Letter for a special someone, by the looks of it. Are you SB?”

Maildog: “Nah, my name’s Rita. Mailing address is out of town, and no return address. Must be one of them anonymous love letters.”
No. 693590 ID: 5ad4a7

Iiiiiiinteresting. Alright let's deliver the mail, get some cash we can maybe spend on a room tonight.
No. 693592 ID: 6cb462

How good are you at unsealing, and resealing letters? if your skillful at that, Open and read it while no one is looking.
No. 693593 ID: 408b2d

Hmm. SB? None of the people who's entire names we know match those initials. It could be one of the cops. Or Selma, Sally's beautiful and alluring assistant. A librarian would be the literate sort.

Make the delivery, to and from, and collect your bonus cash. Then back to the bakery for more money. What time is it now? If it's relatively late in the day, you might not have any more deliveries to make.
No. 693597 ID: 933b95

If it's relatively late in the day we should focus our time now on finding someone to spend the night with~
No. 693598 ID: 3a9db6
File 145273519624.png - (5.06KB , 500x500 , 1-60.png )

>resealing envelopes

Depends on who’s asking. If it’s a cop… what even is an envelope? Never heard of it.

If it’s, say, your own criminal subconscious… you’re really fucking good at it. You can have a Christmas card full of aunty’s holiday dosh open and resealed better than it was before.
No. 693599 ID: 5ea852

We need to work on that poker face. Like, badly.
No. 693600 ID: fe06ff

don't do it
there's nothing to gain from reading random love lettres
No. 693601 ID: 211d83

The question isn't can you reseal it. The question is can you reseal it with minimal tools while still making it across town on a bike quickly.

If so peek for the shear joy of peeking. If not don't worry about it.
No. 693602 ID: 408b2d

A love letter isn't likely to have anything worthwhile. If you can duck in somewhere unseen on your way back, you can check out the incoming letters.

It's a pretty slim chance you'll spot something that's both valuable and unlikely to be missed, though. You don't want a crime to be reported to the cops on the exact day that you arrived in town, man, anyone could spot that coincidence.
No. 693603 ID: 007e78

Accept mission (magnanimously), resolve to peep at letter.
No. 693604 ID: 6cb462

Read it for a laugh. It's not like your staying here in this boring town anyway.
No. 693605 ID: eb385b

Don't open the lettre
No. 693610 ID: 9d8777

READ THAT SHeet of paper, come on, it's not like half the police force in this town had personally warned you and told you that they are going to keep an eye on you...
No. 693612 ID: cf91e4

Nah, keep it closed. You wouldn't want anyone to know about *your* flirting, would you?
No. 693628 ID: 5ad4a7

Snoop on the sappy sweetheart.
No. 693630 ID: 38685c

Risk vs reward, man. Curiosity killed the cat but will satisfaction bring him back?
No. 693631 ID: 15fae4


No. 693632 ID: b8d5aa

no la abre
No. 693634 ID: 55c4cf

Don't open it, though.
No. 693638 ID: 4a684e

Hahanot worth. Just deliver the mail.
No. 693646 ID: fa9b55

Leave it be. If you're going to commit a crime while you're laying low, it should be something profitable enough to justify going on the run again.
No. 693652 ID: 2e11b8

You doubt anyone sends anything worth-while out or into town, and you're already getting paid a fair amount of bux for meager jobs. You just need a place to sleep right now, anyway. Why bother?
No. 693659 ID: 3a9db6
File 145274178748.png - (9.64KB , 500x500 , riding.png )

You ride to the train station in the far north part of town. It is barely a stop on the railway. You have a better chance of jumping out of a boxcar than stopping here.
No. 693660 ID: 3a9db6
File 145274183430.png - (6.77KB , 500x500 , 1-61.png )

Using the key that Rita gave you, you open up the postbox to fill a sack with mail.

You deposit the love letter.

Temptation to see what kind of mail these weirdos get rising.
No. 693661 ID: 3a9db6
File 145274185766.png - (47.23KB , 500x500 , 1-62.png )

No. 693662 ID: b8e87d

Get a copy of the key!
No. 693667 ID: fe06ff

not sure this town has the capacity to copy keys.

maybe take a quick glance over the letters to see if there's anything interesting? I'm thinking checking mail to the police stations, if your a wanted man there might some letters advising to keep an eye out for you.
No. 693669 ID: 3e2cae

Make an impression of the key in a bar of soap, then you can use it as a mould if the opportunity arises.
Maybe one of the girls here is a jeweler.
No. 693672 ID: 007e78

Snoop through the mail you picked up. Anything look interesting?
No. 693673 ID: 3e2cae

Jack it into one of the envelopes.
No. 693679 ID: f79998

I'm sure an accomplished rogue such as yourself knows how to courteously keep his illicit activities away from anywhere they could trouble the eyes of potential onlookers.
No. 693686 ID: 3a9db6
File 145274887006.png - (6.69KB , 500x500 , 1-63.png )

Filled with casual remorse about not reading the letter, you decide you satiate your mischievous impulses by quickly digging through the inbound mail for anything interesting. There are a few pamphlets and coupon books, including one for a supermarket called COSTslaughter that you’ve never heard of before.

Oh, what’s this…
No. 693687 ID: 3a9db6
File 145274888424.png - (5.49KB , 500x500 , 1-64.png )

It’s a tube, addressed to the “Coxwette Precinct”.
No. 693688 ID: fe06ff

that looks like a poster tube, possible "wanted" posters?
it probably is in your best interest to look inside, make sure a familiar face doesn't show up around town.
No. 693690 ID: 3a9db6
File 145274996935.png - (38.49KB , 500x500 , 1-65.png )

You open the tube.

No. 693692 ID: be1222

No. 693693 ID: f6442a

Eat the evidence!
No. 693694 ID: c3e932

you should consider becoming a postman in the near future.
No. 693695 ID: 6cb462

Yum Yum. Eat it.
No. 693697 ID: fe06ff

are there any other posters in there? if not dispose of the entire tube, fire would be preferred

before you do so make sure no one is around, like Harold Pal, seeing as this is his usual hangout.
No. 693699 ID: 799984

Huh. You look a bit beefier in that photo. You been eating alright?
No. 693700 ID: 13ac27

down the hatch mate. Also, you should probably look for some new clothes, as a cardigan is now apart of your description.
No. 693701 ID: 4a684e

Only one count? That's pretty pathetic of us. Eat the poster, lose the cardigan for safety measures. That and it looks dorky, who wears cardigans? Get a nicer shirt.
No. 693702 ID: e34813

Save that one for the scrapbook.
No. 693703 ID: 3a9db6
File 145275148948.png - (10.99KB , 500x500 , 1-66.png )

>discard cardigan

You can’t! It is part of your identity.

No time, no time… down the hatch with this

Rita: “What’s taking so long?”

Rita: “The whole idea was that I wouldn’t have to come up here. I’m all done sorting already!”
No. 693705 ID: f56624

"Some guy was over here selling custom wanted posters. They're pretty authentic looking, wanna see the one I bought?"
No. 693706 ID: fe06ff

Claim that you were writing a secret letter of your own.
fold up the the poster and stick it in your pocket.

also if you get a chance swipe the label off the tube
No. 693707 ID: f79998

What in the what, she'd have to have left like just five minutes after you.

Anyway, uh... well, as you know, you're new in town, just settling in, aaaaaand looking at the train station you got kinda homesick and decided to check the post bag to see if your dear old mum had sent you anything yet and hhhheeey she did! There's some... news. Good news, bad news. Private news. You got distracted by it, you'll put this away.

And you fold it over and stow it in your cardigan. Quick, while she still can't see it.
No. 693708 ID: 6cb462

"Do you mind? I'm eating this crunchy sandwich"

immediately eat it.
No. 693710 ID: 3a9db6
File 145275276165.png - (6.84KB , 500x500 , 1-67.png )

You quickly stuff the letter into your cardigan.

You: “I just noticed a letter from my mother there on the top of the pile. Good… news. Personal stuff.”

Rita: “Ok. So you’ve got an address in town already? Whereabouts are you living?”
No. 693711 ID: 13ac27

Aaaaaand just like thay, an oportunity to practice a good poker face presents itself. And you probably cant eat that now, sincrs shes there, just tuck it away and say you were looking for a letter.also, makesure the tube this thing came in is out of view/ gone. No evidence.
No. 693712 ID: f56624

"Currently staying over at miss Plath's Bed and Breakfast, actually."
No. 693713 ID: bb78f2

I was looking to see if any mail came in for me. I had forwarded this town's location to a person that needed to contact me. I was hoping to establish a PO box later, but I was afraid it might get returned if I didn't make the PO box in time, so now was probably the best time to get it. Plus, I might've gave them the wrong info, because I don't know how PO boxes really work, so... yeah.
No. 693714 ID: b88e47

"It was addressed to me, not a location."
No. 693716 ID: 2e11b8

I could make it your place for the night, if you know what I mean.

You know, her ears are cute.
No. 693717 ID: f0e552

Oh, I just had it sent to the place i'm staying at while i'm here. Mum asked the same thing and the closest thing I have to a home is the Plath house. Of course, I didn't have to wait for my mail since I just collected it, convenient hm?
No. 693718 ID: 3a9db6
File 145275366270.png - (8.33KB , 500x500 , 1-68.png )

You: “I’m actually living at the Plath Bed and Breakfast right now. I’m planning to get a PO box, but you know, why not save a little money on it while I have the chance, right?”

Rita: “Sure. Speaking of money, I was thinking that you were going to get back as quick as you could… seeing that you have a bike and all, but I’ve got to close up the office and I can’t sort that stuff right now.”

You: “Here, take the bag if you need it. Sorry for the delay, ma’am.”

You reach down to pick up the bag, fake-sneezing and kicking the tube backward underneath the train platform.

Rita: “Thanks. I guess I didn’t specify when you needed to be back, and I wouldn’t expect that kind of punctuality from a… pastry deliverer. I’ll pay you for the job, but I dunno if I’d ever have you working here.”

Rita gives you 10bux, then heads back to the post office.
No. 693719 ID: f0e552

Well... OK. So who did we say we'd come back to? If we don't have any duties, lets go back to the library or the ostrich lady for work
No. 693720 ID: 6cb462

No. 693722 ID: bb78f2

Or post it on your wall, in public, and say it's a graphic design project of yours.
No. 693729 ID: f79998

Back to the bakery to get paid, mate-o.
No. 693735 ID: 3e2cae

Get paid and also get laiiiiiid!
No. 693740 ID: f0e552

wait hang on didn't we have a suitcase? What happened to that?
No. 693757 ID: 3641d4

Go to the bakery and then go check back up on the sad deer girl.
No. 693784 ID: f79998

Make sure that tube isn't going to get retrieved by anyone, discreetly dispose of poster, get paid, go get your room at yon inn set up, then with your bit of privacy start on your scheming. Gotta take stock of what the long-term plan is, for your stay in this town.

Make sure to note down "letter from mother" in your mental WEB OF LIES notebook. People in this town gossip, I'm sure, so you'll be needing to keep it all straight.
No. 693792 ID: fe06ff

Okay keep the letter story in mind.

return to bakery, then visit Angela
No. 693810 ID: 2e11b8

Return to bakery for sweet bux; ask catte if she wants a pair of glazed buns this evening
No. 693824 ID: 3a9db6
File 145279600262.png - (6.72KB , 500x500 , 1-70.png )

You’re not going to eat that whole poster, but you manage to eat the shipping label off of the tube. Not the first time, and probably won’t be the last. You keep the poster in your cardigan with plans to incinerate it later.

Your suitcase just had a spare set of clothes, along with a spare cardigan. Ramona took it up to your room after you arrived at the Plath House.

Next you head back to the bakery to reluctantly return your ladies’ fixed-gear pannier bicycle for the night.
No. 693826 ID: 3a9db6
File 145279603492.png - (9.99KB , 500x500 , 1-69.png )

Marcie is there closing up shop.

Marcie gives you an envelope with 30bx for your day’s work. You have 40bux total.

Marcie: “It did take you a while… but not bad for a first ride. I have something… special for you. Meet me in the back.”
No. 693827 ID: f79998

Excellent! Go enjoy yourself some sweet [cake].
No. 693828 ID: 5ea852

Is it cake? It better not be a lie!
No. 693829 ID: be1222

It'd be very ungentlemanly for us to decline, wouldn't it?
No. 693830 ID: fe06ff

meet her in the back you could probably use some real food
No. 693831 ID: 600e3f

Well, either we get a cream pie or a cream pie. Either way, let's do this thing.
No. 693832 ID: 2e11b8

Excuses are in poor taste, but tell her you took a detour to collect mail that your ma sent.

Whatever she has in the back ought to be beneficial in some way since you have almost nothing; unless she's actually an undercover cop looking to bust you (uh oh)
No. 693837 ID: 3a9db6
File 145279880659.png - (11.03KB , 500x500 , 1-71.png )

Marcie: “Nnnnnggghhhh… I baked you a CAKE!”

You were kind of expecting this, but you are still let down. Still, you’ve never had anyone bake you a cake before. Not… not even on your birthday. Mom.

You: “I don’t really know what to say. Thanks.”

Marcie: “Do you want a piece???”
No. 693838 ID: fe06ff

enjoy cake!
No. 693840 ID: 5ea852

Of course you want a cake.

If it's good, ask her if she knows how to make other foodstuff. You might be looking at the future cook of Plath House Inn.
No. 693841 ID: a22f87

only if you want to have a slice with me.
No. 693842 ID: 3d2d5f

Yes, I want to taste your sweet cream, kitty.

(Hopefully this is better than the last home cooking you had).
No. 693844 ID: f79998

Of course!

That's a big cake, though, wow. You and her won't be able to eat all that before it gets stale. Maybe we should find some other people to share a few slices with.

Thank her. And now you have money, you can fulfill your inadvertent offer of dinner!... I assume the cafe can do dinners.
No. 693845 ID: 38685c

Give her a hug, accidentally touch her butt, eat cake.
No. 693846 ID: be1222

Share some cake with the wonderful lady! You could use something to eat, and that thing looks great
No. 693848 ID: f6442a

Hug tomcat, read the cake.
No. 693851 ID: 6cb462

hug her. accidentally drop poster out of you cardigan.
No. 693858 ID: 15a025

Hug cake, eat the pussy.
No. 693861 ID: 3a9db6
File 145280241871.png - (15.20KB , 500x500 , 1-72.png )

Holy shit that cake is good. You feel like your tongue just had sex with that neighbor lady you had a crush on when you were a teenager. The icing is stiff and rich with a strong vanilla flavor, and the sponge is dense, heavy, and moist with tasteful hints of lemon and honey.

Marcie: “Chuck? Are you ok?”

You: “Yeah… it’s really good Marcie. Do you cook?”

Marcie: “Uh… not really, no. My Aunt Penny is better at cookie, but she can hardly bake. That’s why I supply her pastries for her!”

>hug catte
>grope butte

Both sound like sound plans, but you don’t want to get too close to anyone with this poster in your cardigan.
No. 693862 ID: 211d83

Tell her the cake is amazing. The best you have ever had. Possibly use that tongue fucking description verbatim.
No. 693864 ID: 3d2d5f

Um. I think there might be drugs in that cake.
No. 693865 ID: fe06ff

seeing as this is a bakery there's sure to be an oven around, probably a good place to dispose of the poster.
No. 693866 ID: 5ad4a7

Then we need to ditch the poster ASAP. Maybe say you have to use the restroom real quick, and dispose of it in there somehow.
No. 693868 ID: 6cb462

Was that magic cake? Are we going to Dalaam?
No. 693869 ID: 3a9db6
File 145280375995.png - (11.16KB , 500x500 , 1-73.png )

You quickly finish your cake, then start to ‘look around’ the kitchen.

You: “You got a real beautiful kitchen, Marcie.”

Marcie: “People are always complimenting my kitchen! It’s nice and big!”

You: “It’s big but it still looks cozy.”

Marcie: “Yeah! Exactly!”

You quickly test out the burner, pulling out the poster and igniting the corner. You give it a shake until the ashes fall into the pan.

Marcie: “Hey, what are you doing over there?”

You: “Seeing these nice burners. Yeah, look at all those swell… BTUs.”

You whistle.
No. 693872 ID: 0099e1

Burn the bottom first. Then even if you cant destroy the whole thing right now its just a picture of you with no info about the crime.

Then go seduce her.
No. 693874 ID: 5ea852

I have a feeling this place has sprinklers.
No. 693875 ID: b4f92c

Distract her from the fire by adjusting your bulge in an obvious way.
No. 693880 ID: 3a9db6
File 145280619416.png - (8.47KB , 500x500 , 1-74.png )

The poster is gone, and you can finally relax. For now, at least. The fire was no bigger than a flambé, so it doesn’t set off any alarms. It did leave a small pile of paper ashes in her burner plate, but that’s about all.


Well, you do have tomcat in your blood.

You yawn and get comfortably close to Marcie.

You: “Pigtails are pretty bold for today. I respect that.”

Marcie: “Oh, that’s so sweet! Thanks!”

You: “I mean… most girls would be nervous to rock those, but you’re really pullin’ it off.”

Marcie: “You think so? I thought so too!”

Undermining her confidence isn’t working. You need a plan B, and fast!
No. 693884 ID: fe06ff

ask if she wants to get out of those dirty work clothes
No. 693885 ID: f2461f

Ask her what she likes to do for fun.
No. 693888 ID: f6442a

You (that is, Charlemagne) are feeling pretty stuffed from that cake... Ask if she wants to burn off the calories with you.
No. 693890 ID: a476a7

Lets use this time to get some info about the town while seducing her.
No. 693891 ID: f79998

Ask her if she wants to go out to dinner some time, like you "offered" earlier. This one's too slow for you to not take it slow.

also really bro has that confidence trick ever actually worked for you or are you just doing it because jimmy the noose told you that he totally used it to bag like seven bitches once when he was drunk
No. 693892 ID: 3a9db6
File 145280873635.png - (9.60KB , 500x500 , 1-75.png )

Hey, you leave Jimmy the Noose out of this! That man is a treasure. It works, but not on someone with Marcie’s incredible… self-esteem. You’ll save it for the more emotionally damaged citizens.

You: “So, you feel like getting out of those dirty work clothes?”

Marcie: “Of course! I wouldn’t just leave them on forever, would I? Luckily, this apron keeps me from getting too dirty.”

Marcie: “Sometimes after a long day slaving over the rolling pin I’m just… crawling on my hands and knees covered from head to toe in the white stuff, but it just feels right.”
No. 693893 ID: 3a9db6
File 145280876673.png - (3.77KB , 500x500 , 1-77.png )

You haven’t trained for this level of high functioning obliviousness.

You: “That… that it does, boss. Ehem. Say, you still up for that dinner sometime?”

Marcie beams delight.

Marcie: “Oh my, really? I’d love to!”
No. 693897 ID: be1222

Where would be a good place to go for dinner, anyways? The cafe, maybe?
No. 693898 ID: f79998

Abort mission, you need special equipment to penetrate obliviousity of this density.

Ask her if the cafe does dinners, and if so arrange for one this weekend. That'll give you time to think up your strategy.
No. 693899 ID: 3e2cae

Get an awkward erection.
No. 693901 ID: 3a9db6
File 145280979291.png - (39.85KB , 500x500 , 1-78.png )

You: “How about this weekend? Does your Aunt Penny’s café do dinner?”

Marcie: “You bet it does! Best meatloaf you ever had. That sounds lovely, Chuck.”
No. 693903 ID: be1222

Go for the hug grope before you excuse yourself, at least it's something
No. 693904 ID: 99a64d

Do the fuck away with any kind of subtly. Get all up her shit, make sure she understands. If she still manages to not get the idea then she probably has brain at the level of a child, you wouldn't have sex with a child would you?
No. 693906 ID: 3e2cae

No. 693908 ID: f79998

Man, with your luck, you'd go for the grope or the heavy stuff at exactly the moment a cop walks through the door or something.

Just tell her you're really grateful for the job and for a friendly face on your first day here, and give her a normal hug. No groping, but you'll get some boob squish through your cardigan.
No. 693911 ID: 0099e1

Yeah for girls like her you have to be frighteningly direct. She has no idea you are flirting with her. That or she is trying to flirt with you and you both are doing a horrible job.

So ask if she wants to fool around for awhile while making lewd hand gestures. Then if she still looks confused escalate things.
No. 693918 ID: 3a9db6
File 145281500170.png - (7.05KB , 500x500 , 1-79.png )

It’s true, it’s all true. Marcie’s a strong woman. Not a particularly clever one, but a strong one nonetheless, and strong women demand strong words.

You’ll save that for your date, though.

You: “I’ll see you at the Farthing Passion Café on Saturday, cutie pie. Or should I say cake.”

You click your tongue in the only way you know how: sleazily.

Marcie: “I've never heard anyone say cutie-cake, but I'll see you then. Also tomorrow morning for work."

It’s about 5:30PM now, and you have left your bike at the bakery. Where to next?
No. 693919 ID: 007e78

>trying to seduce
>pushes it off to the weekend
You choked, slick.
No. 693923 ID: eb385b

To the library
No. 693927 ID: 5ea852

A good general knows which battles he can win and which he can't.
No. 693928 ID: 15a025

How about the Shoppe Stoppe? The girl working there seems desperate enough to seduce into having some fun tonight.
No. 693931 ID: cf91e4

The library. We'll chat up the daughter.
No. 693935 ID: e38bc1

Shop Stoppe girl. Lets see if we can make her smile.
No. 693939 ID: 5ea852

Let's get to the library, there's no point in being pushy with a depressed girl - they need more time to open up.
No. 693940 ID: 9d8777

Lets go to the library for the book quest, i believe that if we complete that quest, we can do the teacher, she seemed open to compliments at least...
No. 693956 ID: fe06ff

go to the library to see about those text books
No. 693962 ID: 2e11b8

Go to Shoppe Stoppe and aske Ellenne if she does dankke weedde

Or cheer her up, it's making me feel bad
No. 693971 ID: 3e2cae

Yeah cheer her up. A good thing to try is engaging her on her interests. Let her talk about herself and make her feel valued :)
Then bone the everloving funk out of her >:D
No. 694005 ID: 3a9db6
File 145284081686.png - (12.26KB , 500x500 , 1-80.png )

You’re saving it for the weekend because these broad’s not responding to your advances. You need a little more romance…

Still, you decide to leave work and head to the library. It’s mostly empty right now, and slightly creepy. No sign of Sally.
No. 694006 ID: 799984

Looks like there's a light on in the computer lab?
No. 694008 ID: 40ef5a

Check the computer lab, but be sneaky about it. If it's the first girl we spotted when we got here, we might wanna remain scarce
No. 694009 ID: 6cb462

Sneak a peek inside. computers have internet, and you're a wanted criminal. If someone in there happens to see you as a criminal online, you're going to have to silence them... permanently.
No. 694010 ID: 3a9db6
File 145284246139.png - (12.75KB , 500x500 , 1-81.png )

You peek into the computer lab. It’s small and messy, lit only by the glow of a number of monitors.

Mouse: “Sup.”
No. 694011 ID: 2e11b8

Make a circumference joke about her glasses, then ask about textbooks
No. 694012 ID: be1222

Oh she's pretty cute. Introductions! Not too formal, since it seems she doesn't care too much for that.
No. 694013 ID: 4a684e

Deliver some hot one liner about her uh... tail, yeah. Then try and hit on her. No need to make out like you're not interested in her.
No. 694037 ID: 15a025

Just ask if she's seen Sally around.
No. 694039 ID: 3d2d5f

See if she's willing to let you push her buttons. You've got some hardware you'd like to plug and play.
No. 694054 ID: 6cb462

Uh oh, is that a news article on the computer? just in case, check that computer and make sure your not famous.
No. 694075 ID: fe06ff

ask if she works here
No. 694081 ID: 954080

Ask her if she has stairs in her house.
No. 694095 ID: 3a9db6
File 145288307666.png - (6.63KB , 500x500 , 1-82.png )

You: “Oh, not much. Just looking for a place to plug in my hardware.”

Mouse: “Well, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve got all kinds of computers- no, just kidding. That’s pretty lewd, man.”

You: “Have you seen Sally?”

Mouse: “She went home early today.”

You: “Oh. Well, do you know where I can find textbooks here?”

Mouse: “Nah, sorry. I’m just the IT person. I run the lab and handle internet for the town, which isn't much. My name’s Naz, by the way.”

You: “Naz…? What kind of name is that?”

Naz: “Short for Anastasia, because that name’s dumb.”
No. 694096 ID: fe06ff

tell her Anastasia's a pretty cool name actually, and as someone named Charlemagne you should know
No. 694097 ID: 5ad4a7

I always thought that was a pretty name. Real fancy though, it's understandable that a laid-back girl like her would shorten it.

Well be polite and introduce yourself.
No. 694104 ID: 3d2d5f

Commiserate over overly ostentatious names. You're Charles, from Charlemagne.
No. 694106 ID: bb78f2

Okay, Naz, maybe you can help me out with my boss. She says all these double entendre's ALL the time, but doesn't seem to get them, and now I'M doing it. It's confusing, I don't know if she's innocent, or just a woman who won't let an act go.
No. 694107 ID: 6cb462

Don't call yourself Charlemagne, just Charles. We don't want anybody to know who you really are after all. Also, check the computer screens.
No. 694108 ID: c74b84

Thank her for recognizing your lewdness, you've been aiming innuendo at people all day with no-one catching on except maybe Sally once, and it's been driving you mad.

Since she seems like she gives the straight dope, you can also ask her why there seem to be so many more girls than guys in this town.
No. 694109 ID: 3a9db6
File 145288737646.png - (8.07KB , 500x500 , 1-83.png )

You want to express that you feel her pain about the name, but given the wanted poster you saw, you think that it might be risky. It is a name that is hard to mistake.

You: “I dunno, a lot of people would kill for a flamboyant, historically significant name. I’m Chuck. Say, why are there so many women in this town?”

Naz: “I dunno, man. You seem pretty cool, though.”

You: “You too. Maybe it’s just me, but people here seem a little…”

Naz: “It’s not just you. I’m not like the others, though. Never have been. You’re not like the others either. I can tell, and it’s cool. Hey, do you like pranks?”
No. 694110 ID: fe06ff

Yes, yes you do very very much
No. 694111 ID: 6cb462

Oh yeah! unless I'm the victim.
No. 694116 ID: 3d2d5f

I'd say I wrote the book on pranks, but that turned into a prank too.

What you got in mind?
No. 694117 ID: f2461f

Yes, also how long have you lived in this town?
No. 694118 ID: c74b84

Oh geeze is there a cult. Were dread rites performed by 50s moral upstanders that preserved this town in obliviousness to anything unwholesome but also caused a plague of short skirts and all the guys had to leave or go mad

is that it
No. 694126 ID: 3a9db6
File 145288999853.png - (5.61KB , 500x500 , 1-84.png )

You: “Oh yeah. I love pranks. Unless I’m the victim…”

Naz: “Interesting. I want to pull off a slick prank on Sally, but I need someone’s help. I’d ask Selma, but she’s too chicken.”

You: “I’m listening.”

Naz: “Are you familiar with Lofty Lorraine?”

You: “Uh, no. Can’t say I am.”

Naz: “Oh right, you’re new in town. Lofty Lorraine is supposedly the ghost of Lorraine Plath, a young lady who jumped too her death from the roof of the Plath House in 1862.”

You: “Ok…”

Naz: “I wanna scare the pants off of the Plaths with the help of the projector in the AV room, but I need an accomplice. Are you in?”
No. 694127 ID: 3a9db6
File 145289000604.png - (35.81KB , 500x500 , 1-85.png )

No. 694132 ID: 211d83

That sounds fun.

So I am guessing you have some ghostly footage we can project somewhere and you need me to lead Sally there? And then possibly rile her up by being scared of the ghost?
No. 694133 ID: 3d2d5f

New quest: we need to seduce the ghost!

But, no, this is good. Pranks are fun, and we might even drive scared Sally into your arms for comfort.
No. 694135 ID: c74b84

Ok, but you're staying at the Plath house right now, so you have to avoid them finding out. If anyone asks, it's all her, ok?

Also tell her if this is like a scheme to drive them out of the house so she can get the secret gold buried under drawing room in the left wing or something, you swore off getting involved with that sort of thing after the time with the kids in that old van.
No. 694143 ID: 2a7417

Okay, but I don't wanna end up giving her old lady a heart attack.
No. 694148 ID: 5ad4a7

Hey, I see an opportunity. When the prank is sprung, you will be there to comfort Sally!
No. 694154 ID: 5ea852

If you do prank them, make sure that you do in a way that nobody gets hurt. Physically, I mean. You don't need to add Plath ghosts to the roster.
No. 694175 ID: 3a9db6
File 145290128594.png - (9.23KB , 500x500 , 1-86.png )

You: “I’m in.”

Naz: “Good. First we need a way to get into the Plath House under the radar.”

You: “I’m actually staying there currently.”

Naz: “Perfect. You can keep them busy while I get set up. Try and get them a little spooked. Maybe ask them about Lofty Lorraine. When are you heading back for the evening?”
No. 694176 ID: c74b84

Seems easy enough. You can just tell them that someone in town mentioned someone dying in the house, and that you're asking out of curiosity. If they seem reluctant, you can press a little by saying you just wanted to be sure you're not sleeping in the room where she died or something. She jumped from the roof, but appearing like you don't know that will fit the story better.

Anyway, when are you going back? Well, what time is it now? Seems like the post office and bakery closed up just a while ago, so it must be like, six? You're probably going back soon enough. The only thing we have currently on the agenda to maybe do before turning in is scout about for a source of booze. And maybe check out the warehouse? Not been there, yet.
No. 694185 ID: e38bc1

If I'm going to ask about Lofty Lorain I'll probably need some kind of reason to ask about it. Know any way I might have heard that name that could reasonably prompt me to ask them?
No. 694188 ID: be1222

We'll be heading back after we get to know her a little better~
No. 694228 ID: f6442a

She's busy with this prank's setup, and not terminally oblivious like everyone else. Let's keep this a professional prankster relationship for now.
Go home and stuff your mint condition 40bux under your pillow.
No. 694244 ID: 15720c

You could say you were asking about history for Angela and heard about her when told about the Town's history.
No. 695051 ID: 3a9db6
File 145314463166.png - (5.95KB , 500x500 , 1-87.png )

You: “I’ve got nowhere else to go for the evening, so I’ll go back to the Plath House.”

Naz: “Ok. Here’s the plan: go in the house and try to get the Plaths up into your room. I’ll sneak in after you with the equipment and get set up. I’ll knock on the wall three times when I’m ready, and that’s your cue to bring them back down into the den. THEN I’ll start the show. Any questions?”
No. 695052 ID: 3e2cae

Ask her if she has any condoms.
No. 695053 ID: 5b7b42

Naz. Naz. Put yourself in my shoes, here. I only met these ladies today. What could I call two upstanding ladies up to my room for that would take long enough for you? ... And that I wouldn't mind being interrupted?
No. 695056 ID: 3a9db6
File 145314572012.png - (6.90KB , 500x500 , 1-88.png )

Naz: “I work fast. Just ask them to build you a fire or make your bed or something. Trust me, Ramona loves hospitality.”
No. 695057 ID: 3e2cae

Tell the mouse girl you have just the TOOOOOOOOOOOL for the job.
Then adjust your junk in an obvious way.
No. 695060 ID: 5b7b42

Ok, ok. Does it have to be Charlie's room, or just upstairs somewhere that they'll hear the knocking? Maybe he can offer to help move something upstairs or some such.
No. 695066 ID: 5ea852

Hey, did Ramona even show you your room? That's exactly the excuse you need to get her out of Naz's way.

But how to lure Sally in? Maybe you could get her to explain something to you while Ramona's leading you to the room? Oh, ask her about the history of Plath House!
No. 695067 ID: 5ea852

There's one thing that needs clarifying. If she's caught or decides to gloat over the Plaths, we don't know ANYTHING about this whole business.

A prank like this might put us on their shitlist and close off the opportunity to bang them.
No. 695076 ID: b6178d

This could be as easy as asking the Plaths for a tour of the house, and then hanging around in one of the upstairs rooms for a while, asking questions or making conversation.
No. 695079 ID: 3a9db6
File 145314850710.png - (5.68KB , 500x500 , 1-90.png )

You already have a few ideas for distracting Mona and Sally, but you're a bit concerned.

You: “Is a prank like this going to put me on the Plaths’ shitlist or something? Is it gonna ruin my chance to… stay at their house?”

Naz: “Don’t worry. I’ve got two rules when it comes to pranking. Rule 1: nobody gets hurt.”

Naz hoists up her back of equipment and goes for the door out of the lab.

Naz: “Rule 2: I only prank people I like. See you at the Plath House, man.”
No. 695080 ID: 3a9db6
File 145314852943.png - (15.27KB , 500x500 , 1-89.png )

It is dark out now, but your walk back to the Plath House is the safest you have had in your entire life. Ramona and Sally are sitting in the den looking real cultured.

Ramona looks up, a bit startled.

Ramona: “Oh! Our guest! Sally, you promised me you would look decent!”

Sally: “I look fine, mom…”

Ramona: “That nightgown is as short as a shirt!”

Sally: “Mommm.”
No. 695082 ID: 6cb462

Ask them to build you a fire or make your bed or something.
No. 695083 ID: 3e2cae

Quick! Take off your pants so she doesn't feel awkward!
No. 695089 ID: f0e552

remember, we have to take both of them up to the room, that means albeit little time we have, we still can't bone them.

ANYWAYS, holy shit you have a moth flying around in your room and its HUGE! You need some help with it.

And then they will be none the wiser, as there really wasn't a moth at all! MUHAHAHA also you would prefer ramona would make your bed too so they both gotta come up thanks guys.
No. 695109 ID: e38bc1

Go upstairs to your room. Then shortly after come back down complaining about a mysterious noise. A strange sound that isn't really there should get them both upstairs searching and warrant a long enough search for Naz to do her thing.
No. 695110 ID: bb78f2

Romona, that's nothing compared to what my sis wore at home with little ol' me running around. I'm still healing from the mental scars, but that's nothing. Classy, even.
Stay classy, Sally.
No. 695111 ID: 5b7b42

Ok, so the easiest way to get them out of here is to ask to see your room, and where the bathroom is and all that. Then once you're up there, you can think of something else to keep them up there.

Hmm... I don't know if both of them would come up for that, though. Probably only one of them would show you your room. Most likely Ramona. But, perhaps if you pretended to be quietly embarrassed or uncomfortable with Sally's garb, it would persuade her to also go upstairs to change?
No. 695118 ID: 5ad4a7

She definitely looks fine to me.
No. 695119 ID: 3a9db6
File 145315364088.png - (6.27KB , 500x500 , 1-91.png )

You: “Ehem… eh… sorry to impose on you lovely ladies. Would you mind showing me to my room, please?”

Ramona: “See! Sally, you are making our guest uncomfortable. Go change.”

Sally: “I really don’t think I need to.”

Sally look at you for a second. She sees right through your ruse, and you can tell.

Ramona: “I wasn’t asking, young lady. Go.”

Sally: “Yes mama.”

Mona takes you up a steep wooden staircase that creaks with every step.
No. 695120 ID: 3a9db6
File 145315367830.png - (14.52KB , 500x500 , 1-92.png )

Ramona: “I’m sorry about her. You know how teenagers can be.”

You: “I was a terror myself, ma’am.”

Ramona: “You? You’re such a gentleman, I won’t believe it!”

She pushes open a large, rattling door.

Ramona: “Here is your bedroom, Chuck. I hope it’s not too humble…”

You take in an eyefull of the room, and you feel like you’re in a god damn palace. It’s bigger than half the house you grew up in. A sofa, a full sized table and chairs, a grand hearth, and a king-sized bed with a sheer burgundy canopy. There are numerous portraits hanging in the room, including a notably large one over the fireplace.

You: “It’s… pretty swell, Mona. I gotta tell ya.”
No. 695121 ID: f6442a

Large portraits are the perfect segue into famous historical figures of the manor.
No. 695122 ID: e38bc1

Tell her you've never lit a fireplace and ask for a demonstration. Maybe take the chance to admire some fine momma booty if possible.
No. 695123 ID: 5ad4a7

Oh hey, the painting! You can use that to start talking about the g-g-g-ghhhoooosst...

Though you might want to wait until Sally comes up.

In the meantime ask about the OTHER portraits. And the amenities.
No. 695124 ID: 6cb462

Awesome, with Sally changing, and Ramona in your room, that should give us plenty of time for the prank to get set up.

Ask her to show how to set up the fire. Also check that portrait and check if there are eye holes on it.
No. 695126 ID: bb78f2

Yo, so heard about town about Loffy Loraine, what's that about?
No. 695128 ID: 5b7b42

Did you mark Sally's movements? She might be a rogue factor, now. A canny scoundrel such as yourself must have a keen eye for making marks and casing joints, though. She won't head back without you noticing, will she?
No. 695144 ID: 3a9db6
File 145315961050.png - (8.21KB , 500x500 , 1-93.png )

Sally’s movements do not seem suspicious on the surface, but compared to some others in town, she carries herself a bit differently. You walk over to take a look at the large painting over the fireplace.

Ramona: “Ah, my great, great grandfather, Nelson Plath. He helped to found the city of Coxwette, and built the Plath House with his own hands.”

There are no holes behind the eyes, but there is oddly a small hole in one of the buttons of his coat. You don’t feel like sticking anything in it right now, though.
No. 695145 ID: 3a9db6
File 145315962588.png - (6.49KB , 500x500 , 1-94.png )

You: “Is this Lofty Lorraine?”

Ramona: “Ah, you’ve already heard the stories?”

You: “They get around in a small town. Is there any truth to it?”

Ramona laughs.

Ramona: “Well… yes and no, I suppose. Lorraine was a troubled young lady, and she loved her husband so dearly. When he left to fight in the war and didn’t return, her heart couldn’t take it, and she… well, I’m sure you’ve heard the rest. That portrait is actually my grandmother, Ramona Plath Langley. I don’t remember much of her, just that she was very kind. Lorraine Plath was her aunt.”

You: “She was very pretty. I can see where you get it from.”

She laughs again, this time more of a giggle.

Ramona: “You’re very… oh my, I’m just a plain old thing.”

You: “Could I trouble you for a fire, Ramona?”

Ramona: “Of course, dear.”
No. 695146 ID: 3a9db6
File 145315964156.png - (9.74KB , 500x500 , 1-95.png )

>momma booty

Like a pear…

You are almost distracted watching, but you hear something.




Ramona: “This old house is always creaking.”

You are sure that is your cue.
No. 695147 ID: 6cb462

Oh man, this is going to be awesome. let's go back.
No. 695148 ID: 6cb462

But before you go back, let Ramona leave first, and peek in the hole while she is gone.
No. 695151 ID: f2461f

Let's go back to the den, if she asks why say we think we dropped something in there.
No. 695152 ID: 5ad4a7

One excuse to go back downstairs with her would be food or drink. Or just to talk to Sally, she should be changed by now?
No. 695154 ID: f6442a

I think the tail is starting to wag the dog. Your dog, that is.
No. 695168 ID: 5ad4a7

Oh wait you're supposed to be spooky to set the mood. Say something like "Are you sure that isn't Lorraine's knocking on the walls from beyond the graaaaaaave?"
No. 695172 ID: 15a025

Try and set up a spooky mood. Maybe mention you're feeling a bit strange.
No. 695185 ID: b44b0d

Groping is pretty spooky, that ought to set the mood.

you can always blame it on ghosts. and if that should fail, you can say it was all Naz's idea!.. she might even respond to your advances

Alternatively, ditch the Naz, I don't really trust her, she's probably on to who you are, cuz she's used a computer, and thus... u gotta probe her for this. If she does know... Then you gotta... sudoku. (or euthanize her + free groping, but idk, mice... seems strange, but at the same time normal for a cat).
No. 695193 ID: 3a9db6
File 145316620555.png - (4.81KB , 500x500 , 1-96.png )

You and Ramona go back down to the den, leaving your bedroom to warm up for the night.

Ramona: “Would you care for an evening snack? Have you had dinner yet? I can’t have a hungry guest…”

You: “Oh, thank you. I could eat… so there isn’t really a ghost in this house, right?”

Ramona laughs once again.

Ramona: “No, of course not. I’ve lived here since I was born, and my parents and their parents too. None of us have ever seen a ghost.”

You: “What about that knocking?”

Ramona: “It’s an old, old house. I’ve heard louder while I was alone. The ghost stories are just stirred up by the neighborhood kids looking for dares.”

You enter the den.
No. 695194 ID: 3a9db6
File 145316624199.png - (48.20KB , 500x500 , 1-97.png )

A thick fog has filled the room.

Ramona stops.

Ramona: “Did… did I leave the oven on? No. Sally must be taking a shower…”
No. 695199 ID: 375070

Ask if the shower normally leaks steam into the den.
No. 695201 ID: 7b7ab3

Great shades of Silent Hill! Which way to the exit?!
No. 695203 ID: 5ad4a7

Call out for Sally.
No. 695206 ID: 15a025

You know what, start acting scared. She likes helping out her guests here so give her something to help out with.
No. 695208 ID: 3e2cae

Start freaking out
No. 695213 ID: 2e11b8

Grip her shoulders, ease her into the room, maybe whisper some things--set the mood!
No. 695218 ID: 007e78

Check with Sally.

"You in the shower, Sally?"

Hopefully she'll stick her head around to yell, see, and approach.
No. 695222 ID: 3a9db6
File 145316955543.png - (61.33KB , 500x500 , 1-100.png )

Ramona: “This has never happened before… I’ve never seen anything…”

You: “Did you hear that? What’s going on…?”

You: “Sally?”

Sally doesn’t answer.

Ramona: “Maybe it’s the fireplace… or the kitchen… let me, let me check!”
No. 695223 ID: 3a9db6
File 145316958307.png - (50.76KB , 500x500 , 1-98.png )

Ramona walks over to the kitchen door. You run into a familiar mouse in the foyer.

You [whispering]: “The fog machine is a great touch. The projection’s gonna look awwwesome.”

Naz: “Fog machine…?”


The scream is followed by a lot of glass shattering. You can’t keep your laughter in check.

Naz: “Uh… Chuck-”

You: “I can’t wait to see the look on her face…”

Naz: “Chuck-”

You go see Ramona’s reaction.
No. 695224 ID: 3a9db6
File 145316962369.png - (64.47KB , 500x500 , 1-99.png )

Lorraine: “Is this your decency, sir? Is nothing sacred?”

Lorraine: “You mock my death… will you mock death when it is your own?”

Naz: “Chuck, the projector isn’t on...”
No. 695225 ID: 3a9db6
File 145316963382.png - (55.80KB , 500x500 , 1-101.png )

No. 695226 ID: 3e2cae

They've teamed up to prank you. Play along.
No. 695227 ID: 47160d

Just assume the worst and run like hell, on the off chance it is real you don't want to die
No. 695228 ID: 007e78

>I only prank people I like.
You realize this means she likes you, and she's pranking you. She's a double agent pulling a double prank on you.

>☐ Escape the Plath House
☐ Seduce the Ghost

Fixed that for you.
No. 695229 ID: 007e78

(The ghost is totally Sally).
No. 695230 ID: 7b7ab3

Welp, only one way to deal with a ghost.

Escape the house and burn it to the ground.

Make for the exit.
No. 695232 ID: f2461f

Grab Naz and get out of the house, even if this a big prank abandoning a lady is no good.
No. 695234 ID: 3e2cae

Don't flee, you know it's fake, so be super brave and impress the girls.

Something like
"Stay back, specter! I won't let you hurt the women of this house!"
No. 695235 ID: fe06ff

Grab Naz and run!
No. 695240 ID: db34e7

Obviously, you are getting pranked... and obviously you are too scared to notice. Run babbling like a baby, grab Naz arm.
No. 695245 ID: 15a025

Ha, the plath's are pranking you now. Time to step up your game and seduce the ghost.
No. 695248 ID: 3a9db6
File 145317094686.png - (22.89KB , 500x500 , 1-102.png )

You grab Naz and run for the door. If you are being pranked, someone is chasing you with an axe!

You round the corner outside the Plath House courtyard, and the specter does not pursue. The commotion does not seem to have attracted the police, thanks to the Plath House being atop a hill.

You set down the mouse and catch your breath.
No. 695249 ID: 3663d3

"the fuck was that?!"
No. 695250 ID: fe06ff

Insist that Naz tell you if this was a prank.
No. 695251 ID: bb78f2

What is this BULLSHIT!
Ahh, what the fuck is the full story of Lorraine, I didn't get enough, oh GOD no!
Please be a prank, please be a prank, for the love of god Naz, be pranking me, otherwise, the world is missing one sweet ol' maid and is worse off for it, oh GOD!
No. 695252 ID: 5ad4a7

Ask Naz, she was pranking you, right? That was Sally dressed up as a ghost, RIGHT?! If she continues to insist that this is real, go to the police right now.

...well, that was Ramona "dead" in there, right? If this IS real, you might be able to go back and save Sally.
No. 695254 ID: f2461f

We need to question Naz seriously but calmly. If this isn't a prank she needs to go grab the police while we try to go save Sally. If this is a prank then ask how she did it.
No. 695255 ID: 007e78

...that was a double cross prank, right? You got Sally to get me when I thought I was getting her? Right? ....Right?
No. 695257 ID: 5ea852

Well...this was not the sort of NSFW I expected.
No. 695259 ID: f6442a

Oh no! We have to go back for the projector! We can't just leave him there!
No. 695262 ID: 8bc016

Okay, mouse waifu is safe. GHOST PUSSY.
No. 695263 ID: a573b3

Naz goes for help, you go back and seduce the ghost save Sally.
No. 695265 ID: 3a9db6
File 145317296465.png - (6.71KB , 500x500 , 1-103.png )

You: “What the absolute fuck was that?”

…something about Naz’s face makes me think this might have been a prank.
No. 695266 ID: 3a9db6
File 145317298445.png - (5.18KB , 500x500 , 1-104.png )

Naz groans.

Naz [sighing]: “Come on out Sally, he figured it out.”
No. 695267 ID: 3a9db6
File 145317300378.png - (16.55KB , 500x500 , 105.png )

Sally: “Aw, what? Seriously? Lame…”

Ramona: “Did I do good??”
No. 695268 ID: 3a9db6
File 145317303190.png - (48.06KB , 500x500 , 1-106.png )

No. 695269 ID: 007e78

*Grin, laughing* Yeah, you did great. Great hospitality guys, you really made this feel like home.
No. 695270 ID: f6442a

Psst, Naz. Is the obliviousness around town part of the prank too?
No. 695271 ID: f56624

"Great effects, though you tipped your hand right at the start when you asked me to help prank them Naz. Next time you just go for it and catch me unawares."
No. 695272 ID: 3e2cae

"Let's just say ghosts don't frighten me."
Then puff out your chest since you're too shy to adjust your package.
No. 695273 ID: fe06ff

Laugh and admit that she did have you for a moment.
No. 695275 ID: 3e2cae

Alternatively: bust out your triple prank and scare them with the ghost prank you arranged with the baker girl.
No. 695276 ID: 5ad4a7

Yes. Thumbs up.

Heyyyy, this means Naz likes you!
Also go, "Damn, this means I can't win over the ghost with my charms. Or... maybe I still can?"
No. 695279 ID: a573b3

Congratulate all of them on a great prank. Assure them they did well, you've just had a life that made sure you know how to look at things from multiple angles, as well as how to react quick but keep thinking while you do.

Really, that was impressive. You know, Charlie, I'm sure you do, the skillset for pulling a good prank is the same as for, ah, more profitable pursuits. Keep these three (or at least, Sally and Naz) in mind for potential... helpers. They might take a little convincing, but you never know.

Ask if Ramona needs helping cleaning up that blood. In the kitchen.
No. 695280 ID: 3e2cae

I really like this idea. Time to put a crew together for the ultimate job. Naz can be the tech geek who hacks the system and says "I'm in."
No. 695286 ID: 211d83

Oh man that was good. You would have totally got me if your expression at the end there was more horrified and less "ha ha we got him"
No. 695290 ID: 3a9db6
File 145317435845.png - (7.68KB , 500x500 , 1-107.png )

You: “Wow, I gotta say, you ladies did an amazing job. I’m tougher than your average nail, but I know a good prank when I see one.”
No. 695291 ID: 3a9db6
File 145317437851.png - (10.69KB , 500x500 , 1-108.png )

You: “It just so happens I ain’t afraid of no…”
No. 695293 ID: 5ad4a7

Just point.
No. 695295 ID: fe06ff

point and ask if the projector is still on
No. 695296 ID: b88e47

Seduce ghost.
No. 695298 ID: a573b3

My suggestion would be to just silently point, but pointing at ghosts is bad luck.

Or was that rainbows?

Eeeeh, probably ghosts as well.
No. 695299 ID: f56624

just point, if they vanish you can go "ayyy, got ya back"
No. 695300 ID: f2461f

Seduce the ghost. But for now don't say anything, just accept it and move on with the night.
No. 695308 ID: 3a9db6
File 145317564530.png - (9.58KB , 500x500 , 1-109.png )

You point to the rooftop without a word.
No. 695309 ID: 3a9db6
File 145317566065.png - (8.52KB , 500x500 , 1-110.png )

The others look up to see the moon rising in the east, cresting over the roof, then look back at you.
No. 695310 ID: 3a9db6
File 145317566835.png - (37.20KB , 500x500 , 1-111.png )

No. 695311 ID: 5ad4a7

It... the moon looked like a person for a second.
Let's go back inside.

(I think I know how to talk to the ghost. We should further investigate the painting and look around for something that might fit in the hole)
No. 695313 ID: 3e2cae

Argh! Phineas and Ferb!!!!
No. 695314 ID: 007e78

*nervous laughter* Wow you got me so good I'm seeing ghosts where there's not.
No. 695318 ID: 7b7ab3

"Uhhhhh... y'know what? I think I left something back in the house. I'm just gonna go get it. Excuse me."

Now go find that spook!
No. 695320 ID: f6442a

Retire to bed. But really go up to the roof. Wear shoes - you don't want to slip.
No. 695321 ID: a573b3

"Man, thought I'd get you to think the moonlight was a ghost for at least a second. I guess you must pull out the ghost tricks pretty often, huh?"

Also compliment Ramona on her incredible cleaning skills.
No. 695324 ID: 3a9db6
File 145317701073.png - (5.67KB , 500x500 , 1-112.png )

Your first day in Coxwette was eventful. For the first time in your life, you only kind of feel like robbing a bank.

>go on the roof

That’s not a good idea. You are tired, it’s dark, and you don’t know how strong that 180-year-old roof is. You want to pursue that ghost, but not tonight.

You definitely could use a shower since you haven’t had one in several days, but it isn’t too urgent.
No. 695326 ID: f56624

Careful man, don't become one of those foibles where the scoundrel becomes some kind of not-scoundrel plebian because he "found a place he belonged"

As classic a scenario as that is the thirst for money and power must remain resolute
No. 695329 ID: fe06ff

don't listen to him, follow your heart . . . and your dick
No. 695330 ID: 7b7ab3

Day's over! Time to relax!

A nice, hot shower and a warm, comfy bed should do the trick.

Make sure to bid your new acquaintances goodnight.
No. 695331 ID: eb385b

Take a shower
No. 695332 ID: bb78f2

You ever bone a ghost before Charlie?
That right up there is a widow.
She's CRAVING some action. You know what they say about widows.
No. 695335 ID: 5ad4a7

Get some dinner, laze around in your room. Maybe flirt with Sally some if she's away from her mom.
No. 695337 ID: 6cb462

No. 695345 ID: 3a9db6
File 145317991946.png - (14.92KB , 500x500 , 1-113.png )

You bid farewell to Naz, who goes back to her own home, then follow the Plaths back into the house.

After a deeply refreshing shower, you are back in your bedroom.
No. 695346 ID: 4a684e

Wash off your cat stank
No. 695349 ID: f56624

>insert dick into painting slot
No. 695350 ID: 5ad4a7

Check out the painting a little closer. What shape is the hole?

Definitely continue to wear nothing but a towel for a while longer. Maybe someone will walk in on you.
No. 695351 ID: f6442a

Peep the button hole.
No. 695353 ID: 007e78

Talk to yourself.

You snooping on me, spook? I don't mind.
No. 695356 ID: 3a9db6
File 145318052393.png - (7.17KB , 500x500 , 1-114.png )

You look into the button hole. It doesn’t look like it leads to another room. It looks like it leads into a small bore with something shiny in the back of it.
No. 695358 ID: f56624

poke it
with your willy
No. 695359 ID: 1b029b

Put your finger in it.
No. 695361 ID: f6442a

A camera? Ramona doesn't seem tech-savvy enough to have set that up, no offense.
On a scale of one to restraining order, how okay would you be with this.
No. 695362 ID: 3a9db6
File 145318089990.png - (6.59KB , 500x500 , 1-115.png )

You stick your finger into the buttonhole.

The metallic piece in the back pushes in with some effort.


The painting pops loose on the left side.
No. 695363 ID: f6442a

Hey, how does that saying about curiosity and cats go again?
No. 695366 ID: f56624

Curiosity... Grilled the cat? I think it meant that curiosity is super hype and will make you hella rich enough to gold plate your teeth, go for it dude
No. 695367 ID: 40c872

Peek inside, use caution
No. 695372 ID: 3a9db6
File 145318157534.png - (6.71KB , 500x500 , 1-116.png )

The painting swings aside on a hinge, revealing a sizable wall-safe with a key lock. The mechanism is old an arcane - nothing that you’d know how to pick, even if you had the tools.
No. 695373 ID: f56624

Tell the owners about it, be trustworthy about the useless thing to gain their trust
No. 695374 ID: 799984

No. 695376 ID: 6cb462

We definitely gotta steal whats in there. But if we take it now, especially since we are staying here a while, they may suspect you. It's best to steal what is in there when it is time to leave this town.
No. 695378 ID: 3a9db6
File 145318259987.png - (37.51KB , 500x500 , 1-117.png )

You can’t really open the safe right now, but you could if you found the key. You have absolutely no idea where it might be.
No. 695385 ID: f0e552

Can't we just refrain from stealing from people right now? I think we should wait until we bone them to steal things, or you can revenge steal from them if they reject you.

like I think people only have sex with a burglar in porn movies
No. 695389 ID: 6cb462

Let's inspect more of the room for any more secrets.
No. 695390 ID: 1b77da

Yeah, just share the information about the safe with the owners.
No. 695394 ID: f0e552

woah woah woah, we're coming back for it, it's not like it will move or something. We're just gonna bone some chicks forst.
No. 695395 ID: 3e2cae

Tell the owners. Maybe they know how to open it.
Or at the very least might give you a share of the loot when you open it for them.
No. 695403 ID: 904bad

Nah, don't try to open it yet, but don't reveal it yet, they might not know about it. Think of it as a bank to rob, you are not going to share with the police the location of ok that analogy doesn't work at all. Just keep your mouth shut.
No. 695410 ID: 5ad4a7

Bring it up but don't say where it is until she promises to give you a cut of whatever's in there. Finder's fee!
No. 695438 ID: a788b7


If they knew the safe was there they wouldn't be using this as a guest room.

Keep it secret, for god's sake.
No. 695444 ID: 2a7417

Dude, this town has internet. Look up antique safes like this one, and learn how to pick them. T'ain't illegal to have a locksmithing hobby.
No. 695445 ID: 3a9db6
File 145323006636.png - (13.38KB , 500x500 , 1-118.png )

You’ll keep the safe secret for now, assuming the Plaths don’t already know about it.
No. 695468 ID: 5ea852

Check for any other suspicious holes and/or objects.

Then proceed to release any frustrations you might have.
No. 695469 ID: 15a025

Eh, just hurry up and shower.
No. 695472 ID: 3e8a9a

It is when you are using it for illegal things, goofus.

Charlie, jerk it already to the thought of getting smothered by every woman in town's tity and ass.
Get caught by Sally~
No. 695473 ID: 5ad4a7

Get dressed, then wander around the house.
No. 695474 ID: 375070

Well we're showered and it is late, so get dressed in whatever you have that passes for bedclothes.
No. 695498 ID: 3a9db6
File 145324624111.png - (11.25KB , 500x500 , 1-119.png )

You were unable to find anything else strange in your room, so you just get into some boxers and lie down in your ridiculously lavish bed. You are a little bit riled up, but you don’t want to… waste any of what you’ve got. You’re also tired.

You fall asleep.
No. 695499 ID: 3a9db6
File 145324626103.png - (3.43KB , 500x500 , 1-120.png )

You must be asleep. It’s hard to tell.

Who is that you’re dreaming about?
No. 695501 ID: db34e7

and by bedclothes, read naked.
No. 695502 ID: db34e7

No. 695503 ID: fe06ff

dreaming about Angella
No. 695504 ID: 007e78

The ghost.

And you're not sure it's a dream...
No. 695505 ID: f0e552

No. 695506 ID: 39f669

The crew you used to pull jobs with.
No. 695512 ID: 13ac27

your mom
No. 695513 ID: 5ea852

As a very racist person, you dream of Marcie. Covered in cake.
No. 695515 ID: eb385b

No. 695517 ID: 9b5409

I see the wide curve on that hip. That can only be Ramona.
No. 695519 ID: 47160d

No. 695520 ID: 3e2cae

An amalgam of th best parts of all the girls you met today.
No. 695521 ID: f6442a

Sssusanna Ssstark, the sssnek.
No. 695525 ID: 4a684e

Marcie all night, baybee
No. 695529 ID: a573b3

Susanna, the mayor, in her guise as the chief cultist of the necromancers summoning the restless dead in this town.

... a sexy chief cultist.
No. 695530 ID: be1222

No. 695531 ID: b17b81

Rita you just cant get her out of you thoughts. (Or not Naz. Not a fan of mice)
No. 695532 ID: 6cb462

No. 695543 ID: 0a31e9

No. 695544 ID: 8bc016

We're going to need Avery pretty quick, because that looks like a ghost!
No. 695545 ID: 1009ca

this but you are the sacrifice in her ritual
No. 695546 ID: 5ad4a7

Marcie. All those double-entendres, man.
No. 695549 ID: 2e11b8

It's a gat dang ghost!!
No. 695550 ID: f2461f

You dream about the train heist.
No. 695553 ID: 15a025

It's your mother. She's contacting you through dreams to tell you she wants grandchildren NOW!
No. 695558 ID: a86f27

Susanna or Angela
No. 695567 ID: a36391

No. 695586 ID: 799984

Sexy Cardigan.
No. 695589 ID: ab25fe

No. 695590 ID: 3a9db6

[Closing the vote at 6:30PM PST!]
No. 695605 ID: 3a9db6
File 145325837563.png - (9.10KB , 500x500 , whos that semendemon.png )

Oh, of course it’s Naz. You’d know that bod anywhere.

Naz: “>_
No. 695607 ID: fe06ff

Booooooo, that looks nothing like her Charles
No. 695608 ID: f56624


this is a dream so everything is probably gonna be plagued by symbolism while we dream-pork this chick, be on the lookout for tarot cards or clowns or some shit
No. 695610 ID: 007e78

That dream is wearing far too many clothes.
No. 695611 ID: 4a684e

Iunno, that's what I saw. She just had a uh... sports bra on earlier, yeah.
No. 695612 ID: 5ad4a7

Compliment her choice of attire and ask if she's wearing that just for you.
No. 695613 ID: 9b5409

I'm seeing a strange curve or bulge beneath her skirt. Please tell me you didn't dream Naz up with any extra equipment.
No. 695616 ID: 3a9db6
File 145325939629.png - (8.18KB , 500x500 , 1-121.png )

You: “You’re busting out of that thing. Did you wear that just for me?”

Naz giggles.

Naz: “Come on Chuck, you know I don’t look like this.

Naz: “And god knows you don’t look like that.”
No. 695617 ID: 799984

She's right, you know. You're not even wearing a cardigan.
No. 695618 ID: f56624

yeah cmon, get a cardigan on. That's WHO YOU ARE you're rejecting there.
No. 695619 ID: 9b5409

Jeeze man you look like you should start making Duke Nuke'em quotes right about now. Exactly how big are you dreaming your junk to be right now?
No. 695620 ID: 30f6e2

Even in a dream she is good at seeing through bs.
Still, this calls for cheesy one-liners: "How about we check what else is unrealistically proportioned?"
No. 695622 ID: 3a9db6
File 145326084431.png - (7.30KB , 500x500 , 1-122.png )

You: “Check out what else is unrealistically proportioned…”

Naz: “Oooh… well I sure hope so. Is that it?”

You: “Wh-”

You look down to see a fledgling penisette barely peeking out from your open towel.

You: “No, it’s usually bigger-”

Naz: “Wow, dude. You’re getting punked inside your own dreams…”

You: “This isn’t a dream! You always smell like bacon! No, no no…”
No. 695623 ID: 3a9db6
File 145326085891.png - (8.93KB , 500x500 , 1-123.png )

You wake up to the pleasant smell of bacon and coffee mixed with… perfume?

Ramona: “Oh, I’m sorry to wake you too suddenly.”

Ramona: “I think you were having a nightmare. I made you breakfast, dear.”
No. 695624 ID: 007e78

Say good morning, thank her for the breakfast in bed.
No. 695625 ID: 47160d

try(And fail) to hide your erection
No. 695626 ID: 9b5409

Make sure to declare very loudly that morning wood is perfectly natural for a healthy adult male.
No. 695628 ID: 40c872

Thank her like a normal person
No. 695629 ID: 9b5409

Oh and remember to pretend her cooking is not the stuff of nightmares.
No. 695630 ID: 3a9db6
File 145326133389.png - (9.23KB , 500x500 , 1-124.png )

>hide erection

Half awake, you grab a pillow and throw it over your lap.

Ramona: “Dream. I meant dream.”

You: “Sorry, I just… it happens, you know…”

Ramona: “It’s… it’s ok!”

Ramona: “Muffin! It’s banana nuts.”

Ramona: “Banana nut.”

You: “Did you make it?”

Ramona: “Yes, I… I got up early to make it.”

You are suddenly not hungry.
No. 695631 ID: 5ad4a7

Well I mean the bacon is probably good. I'm honestly not sure how she can mess up a banana nut muffin, either, without it being either flat or charcoal.

No. 695633 ID: 799984

Yeah you are. Just not for food.
No. 695634 ID: be1222

Well, she can tell that you have some sausage to share, why not offer?
No. 695635 ID: 9b5409

Now for the test of how bad her cooking really is. If she can fuck up cooking an egg, at least I think it's an egg we don't have a good angle on it, then she is indeed the head chef of the real Hell's Kitchen.
No. 695636 ID: f56624

So is this going to be an awkward memory for both of us or do you want to go in for it? like, that is an option here
No. 695637 ID: 40c872

Yknow thanking her could be nice
No. 695639 ID: f56624

oh yeah, do this before the offer of course.
No. 695654 ID: 2e11b8

Apologize about the immodesty, thank her, but tell her you aren't feeling well. Go to the bathroom and just wash yourself up to get ready for the day. (You can pick something up at the bakery, after all)
No. 695657 ID: ab2725

Oh geez, you shouldn't have.
No. 695666 ID: 3e2cae

Maybe it's a quiche.
Whatever it is, be grateful and tell her it was delicious.
No. 695670 ID: 6cb462

Consider trying to recruit Naz as a partner in crime. Her mastery at pranks can really be helpful for crime gigs. You can be like Bonnie and Clyde, except for the whole getting gunned down part...
No. 695672 ID: 3a9db6
File 145326449446.png - (6.28KB , 500x500 , 1-125.png )


You take a bite of the muffin. The outside is ok, but immediately below the slightly baked outer layer is a layer of clumped flour and chunks of cool butter. The center is somehow still battery and tastes of eggs and cinnamon.

The bacon is burnt to a crisp.

The coffee is thick as tar and twice as bitter.

The eggs are the texture of a 1980s action figure’s vinyl cape.

You: “Ramona, thank you again. You’ve been so kind since I got here. It’s really good.”

Ramona: “Thank you. I’m so glad you like it… it really makes me feel good.”

As disgusting as the food is, your thanks are sincere. You swallow it down, turning away to hide your face, then calm yourself with a breath of morning air. It’s not as bad as the soup.

You look at her for a little bit.
No. 695673 ID: 3a9db6
File 145326451774.png - (10.12KB , 500x500 , 1-126.png )


She has zoned out a little bit.

You: “Ramona.”

You: “You’re not still thinking about that…”

Ramona: “No! No… I… thinking about what?”

You: “Let’s put fifteen minutes on the alarm.”

Ramona: “Wh… what?”

You: “You’ve been working so hard. Lie down with me for a little bit. Literally no one in the world has to know. Fifteen minutes, that’s all.”

You prepare your ‘just kidding’…
No. 695674 ID: 3a9db6
File 145326453148.png - (7.08KB , 500x500 , 1-127.png )

Ramona: “Sally left for work…”

Ramona: “Maybe if I lock the door… oh dear, do you mean that? Just this once, right?”
No. 695675 ID: 3e2cae

Also show us your bulge already.
No. 695676 ID: e16477

Haha, banana nut...

So, anyway, fucking breakfast in bed with a flower and everything. I mean, she can't cook worth beans, but even so this woman is just so generous and kind. Especially because you just met her. Her husband is definitely missing out because I bet that she'll probably be putting out.
But seriously, breed this woman as soon as you get the chance.
No. 695677 ID: 007e78

Don't say anything. Just smile.

Wait for her to lock the door and come to bed.
No. 695679 ID: 7153cd

Only if you want it to be just this once.
No. 695680 ID: f56624

>Brace for impact
No. 695683 ID: e16477

Huh, updating before posting IS a good idea.

Watch it bub, this town has a history of double entendres that usually end up being the more innocent suggestion. Keep your "just teasing" in the small chance she possibly means something else.
No. 695684 ID: db34e7

yea, say this
No. 695685 ID: e16477

I can't help but feel that this would lead to her getting the idea that we only want to fuck her once and then never again. This would draw some unfortunate parallels to her lost husband

Use the dick, don't be one.
No. 695689 ID: 5ad4a7

Just this once.
No. 695696 ID: 7b7ab3

Probably gonna get psyched out again, but...

What the Hell! Go for it!
No. 695710 ID: 8371c4

dooooooo eeeeeeeeeet
No. 695711 ID: 6cb462

Gotta condom?
No. 695718 ID: 79a07e

This is going to end hilariously bad. Emphasis on 'hilariously'.
No. 695721 ID: eeb21f

Where we're going, we don't need condoms!
No. 695732 ID: 3a9db6
File 145326754948.png - (6.41KB , 500x500 , 1-128.png )

Ramona scurries over to the door and locks it, then returns to the bed.

You open the covers and she crawls in, giggling.

Ramona: “I’m nervous. I’m sorry…”

You snuggle up, making no effort to hide anything.
No. 695733 ID: 3a9db6
File 145326759180.png - (12.00KB , 500x500 , 1-130.png )

Ramona toasty warm, and she has a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge butt. You have no qualms with getting a handful of her chest, and neither does she.

Everything is going according to plan. So warm. So comfy. So much… butt. All… according… to…
No. 695734 ID: 3a9db6
File 145326760838.png - (6.40KB , 500x500 , 1-129.png )

You probably remembered to set the alarm at some point. It is very possible that you did. You haven’t slept this well in years.
No. 695735 ID: f56624

honestly this was a better outcome than sex
we should probably get up though
No. 695736 ID: e16477

Aww, we made her feel loved and we didn't "take advantage of" the woman we've known for one day. My dick disagrees, but I really thought that was a cute decision.
No. 695737 ID: 5ad4a7

You are stupidly late for work, aren't you.
No. 695742 ID: 44950f

You know bakeries open early so they can deliver for breakfast and stuff, right?
No. 695746 ID: 7b7ab3

Everything went better than expected!

Now bid her a sweet farewell and get to work, Romeo.
No. 695747 ID: 3a9db6
File 145326962088.png - (6.49KB , 500x500 , 1-132.png )

You wake up to the smell of perfume, and give Ramona a wet nibble on the neck.

She shudders and gasps. You open your eyes to the gentle light of the morning, and the quaint mother-of-pearl face of the metal alarm clock on your bedside table.

The sounds of sleepy breathing entice you to plop back down on your pillow.
No. 695748 ID: 3a9db6
File 145326963509.png - (6.67KB , 500x500 , 1-131.png )



Oh god damn it. God damn it.

You: “I’ve got to go to work sweetcheeks. Like, right now.”

Ramona: “Mmhm… I like when you call me that.”

She yawns and wiggles her backside, still half asleep.

Ramona: “Please don’t go.”
No. 695749 ID: 4a684e

>Waking up this late
We're boned, aren't we? And I don't mean like the morning wood poking Ramona's buns.
No. 695750 ID: 7b7ab3

Make her a deal: if she's willing to wait a little longer, then when you're done with the day you'll give her everything she wants and more. No strings attached.
No. 695751 ID: f56624

"Hey, if I want to pay my rent I gotta. We can do some more when we get back, though."
No. 695752 ID: 44950f

Pat on the head, ear kiss, say you're aching to stay but can't be late to work on just your second day.
No. 695753 ID: 4a684e

This. We only have to do the baking job. And it's not too likely that Marcie will be mad. I mean... people are used to late goods from her, right?
No. 695755 ID: 3a9db6
File 145327147574.png - (8.48KB , 500x500 , 1-133.png )

You give her a kiss on the cheek.

You: “I’ve got to pay the rent somehow, right?”

Ramona: “Yes… of course. Work. Of course…”

You get dressed into your other set of clothes.

Ramona: “Chuck?”

You: “Hm?”

Ramona: “It was so nice. Please don’t make it the last time.”
No. 695756 ID: 3a9db6
File 145327148958.png - (8.45KB , 500x500 , 1-134.png )

Ramona: “Please don’t. I’m so lonely Chuck.”
No. 695757 ID: 3663d3

shoosh her and tell her you will be back.
No. 695760 ID: 799984

You couldn't stay away from a beauty like her if you wanted.
No. 695761 ID: f56624

>hug dog mom
"Hey, shh. It's ok. I can't be a stand-in for who you've lost, but we can certainly do this again."

Do not hurt the dog mom with our scoundrel ways
No. 695762 ID: 4a684e

This is kind of heart breaking.... We gotta do work quick to get back to dog mom. And... maybe ask Sally to pick up a cook book for us. F-for bonding, totally not to improve her cookingeventhoughshereallyneedsit
No. 695763 ID: 15fae4

marry her
No. 695765 ID: 44950f

Give her a hug, or an arm around the shoulders or the like. Tell her, look, why doesn't she walk over to the bakery with you? A nice morning walk. She can get something nice to eat and then she can amble around town for a while, talk to people, visit the library.

... Assuming the morning light isn't "gentle" because it's raining or something. Seemed like good weather yesterday and last night, though.

Also if she came to the bakery with you, and your lateness was mentioned, Ramona would probably go "oh that's my fault" and you'd be off the hook.
No. 695767 ID: a788b7


No. 695768 ID: 7b7ab3

Charlemagne, if you do not treat this woman with the utmost love and respect, then you are a cad.
No. 695774 ID: 600e3f

Fuck it, work can wait! This woman needs you!
No. 695775 ID: 79a07e

Barely a day and you're already getting in too deep. Smile, nod, say 'of course' because nah, we gonna get back to that, but don't lock yourself off just over a few words, nice as they might be.

Get to the bakery, double-time.
No. 695780 ID: 3e2cae

Welp, looks like we're getting married.
No. 695789 ID: 243dc7

Of course you'll be back (forehead kiss).
No. 695797 ID: 3641d4

Tell her you'll be back and the two of you can have some more fun tonight ;)
No. 695798 ID: 5ea852

Tell her not to worry because you fully intend to ravish her as physically possible. And then some.
No. 695801 ID: fe06ff

yeesh, you've gotten yourself in some deep water here.

lady is desperate and clingy
No. 695803 ID: 9b5409

Give her a gentle smile and tell her you enjoyed it too so sure.
No. 695804 ID: 5ea852

Well, it's understandable. She's from a small community that is still sorta traditional with a serious deficit of men and no local would touch a divorced or an abandoned woman in the way Chuck is currently doing.

The way how easily she accepted the proposition was indicative of it. She has an emotional need for a man and she's willing to sacrifice her own sense of propriety to confirm her own womanhood.

After all that bullshit, what I'm trying to say is that she needs someone to prove to her that she's still desirable. And by that I mean to give her the D.
No. 695806 ID: 3d2d5f

Kiss her on the forehead.

No. 695814 ID: 5ad4a7

Say yes, but warn her that this won't be an exclusive deal. You can't let yourself get tied down in a town so full of lovely ladies.
No. 695818 ID: 15fae4


you have no honor
No. 695825 ID: 0eaeaf

> You have the honor of a Spaniard
No. 695844 ID: 5ea852

It was established that Chuck is an honorless dog-I mean-cat.
No. 695851 ID: 3a9db6
File 145331185737.png - (5.30KB , 500x500 , 1-135.png )

You kiss Mona on the forehead and tell her that you will be back after work. She smiles. You know you shouldn’t lead her on like this, but you really don’t have time to ponder the ethics of boning this old dog. One thing you know for sure is that you're not giving up the rest of the tail this town has to offer for her sake.

After you are dressed, you don’t waste a second more before breaking into a sprint. You run by the police station, the post office, and by the grand old oak in the town square.
No. 695852 ID: 3a9db6
File 145331187360.png - (6.42KB , 500x500 , 1-136.png )

Finally you arrive at the bakery and quietly push open the door.
No. 695853 ID: 5ad4a7

Grovel like you mean it.
No. 695854 ID: 5ad4a7

...wait she never told you when you were supposed to clock in.
No. 695855 ID: a788b7


Apologize, tell her that Naz pulled a prank to 'welcome' you to the Plath house and you had to spend the morning rubbing against Ramona's ass cleaning up and lost track of time
No. 695857 ID: fe06ff

beg her to not fire you
No. 695859 ID: 3d2d5f

Mornin'. Sorry for runnin late.
No. 695860 ID: ddb95b

This is the best idea.
No. 695865 ID: 3a9db6
File 145331383711.png - (7.22KB , 500x500 , 1-137.png )

You: “Yyeeeah, sorry I’m running late. See, this girl Naz decided to pull a ‘welcome’ prank on me, and I had to clean up the mess…”

Marcie: “It’s ok, it’s only your second day. Maybe I wasn’t clear on your punch-in time. 8AM sharp.”

You: “You got it, boss.”

Marcie: “You gotta be all in if you want to work for me, all the way to the finish. No pulling out!”

You: “Got it.”
No. 695867 ID: 3a9db6
File 145331385851.png - (8.83KB , 500x500 , 1-138.png )

Marcie: “Oh, and… don’t be late for our date on Saturday. 5PM at the Farthing…”
No. 695868 ID: 3a9db6
File 145331387202.png - (8.92KB , 500x500 , 1-139.png )

Marcie: “Also don’t be late for work again or you’re fired.”
No. 695871 ID: 3d2d5f

Roger and Roger.

Let's get going, hit the Library last, so we have time to stick around this time. And to give Naz a hard time about liking us.
No. 695875 ID: fe06ff

I'm voting Cafe, school, shoppe, Post, Library, cityHall, police department for delivery order
No. 695878 ID: 7b7ab3

Who knows, Chuck? You might be able to turn this town onto the idea of polyamory.

Anyway, cafe first, police department last.
No. 695889 ID: 6c90f3

So for today let's start at the cafe, then Library to talk quickly about those books before we stop in at the school, city hall, police, post office shop stoppe, and finally school house
No. 695922 ID: 2a7417

Today's pastry delivery route: Farthing (confirm reservation - not that you need one in a town this small?), library (let's talk textbooks), schoolhouse, Shoppe, post, city hall, police station.
No. 695925 ID: 15a025

Cafe should come first, police station last.
No. 695930 ID: 5ad4a7

Make sure the delivery route is efficient, and don't chat with people as much this time. Your LAST stop is where you can talk to someone, so that's the only one that really matters.
No. 695936 ID: 5ea852

"Don't worry, boss. All I need is a firm hand to reach full potential."
No. 695949 ID: 3a9db6
File 145333389582.png - (6.41KB , 500x500 , 1-140.png )

Off to the café first. It’s just across the street, so you don’t need to ride there.

Penny: “Well, still faster than yesterday, and the pastries are hot. Thanks, honey.”

You: “It’s a pleasure Ms. Farthing. It’s nice working for your niece.”

Penny: “Is it really?”

You: “Yes, why wouldn’t it be?”

Penny: “Let’s just say she inherited the hips but not the wits.”

Penny: “Best be gettin’ on, honey. Don’t want those treats getting cold!”
No. 695950 ID: 5ad4a7

No. 695952 ID: 007e78

No. 695954 ID: fe06ff

Library, ask about text books
No. 695957 ID: 3a9db6
File 145333565249.png - (13.83KB , 500x500 , 1-141.png )

You pedal over to the library next. Maybe all this riding will get you in shape.

Sally: “Oh, hi Chuck!”

You: “Hey Sally. Got your croissants today.”

Sally: “Oh, thanks! My stomach has been grumbling all morning.”

You: “Hey, I wanted to ask, do you have any newer textbooks that Miss Angela over at the schoolhouse could use?”

Sally: “Hm, I bet we do. We just got a big shipment of books in that I am busy cataloging at the moment, but Selma can help you with our current selection. She’s somewhere in back.”
No. 695958 ID: 5ad4a7

Hmmmm, we better do this after the rest of the deliveries.

City hall is next.
No. 695963 ID: 5ea852

Tell Sally that you'll owe her a favour if she keeps an eye out for anything school-appropriate while you're out delivering.
No. 695974 ID: 3a9db6
File 145333810164.png - (9.82KB , 500x500 , 1-142.png )

You bid farewell to Sally, saying that you’ll owe her one if she keeps an eye out for some new schoolbooks. You go to City Hall next. AS you open the doors, there is a small commotion inside.

Mayor Stark: “Not in this town! Not in OUR town! Thank you, good day, sir.”

Business pig: “Ah… of course, ma’am. Thank you for your time. Good day.”

Susanna slams her office door, and the suited stranger departs, shaking his head.
No. 695975 ID: 3a9db6
File 145333811949.png - (7.13KB , 500x500 , 1-143.png )

Lisa has been standing there silently for a while.

Lisa: “Hello sir.”

You: “Wah! How long have you been there?”

Lisa: “Oh… a while, I guess. Sorry, sir.”

Lisa: “Yes… right, the muffins. Thank you, sir.”
No. 695976 ID: 5ad4a7

Err... what was that about?
No. 695977 ID: 8c667d

Tell her we'll save it for after the deliveries are done. At least now we can tell Angela we talked to the librarian about it. Next stop.
No. 695991 ID: 3a9db6
File 145333960942.png - (6.78KB , 500x500 , 1-144.png )

You: “So, what was that whole thing there? With the guy in the suit?”

Lisa: “Er… that’s official mayor business. I can’t say. Sorry, sir.”
No. 695993 ID: fe06ff

welp, enough chatter off to the next stop!
No. 695994 ID: 5ad4a7

Maybe you can ask the suit about it, then.
No. 695995 ID: 44950f

Leave for your next delivery, maybe you can catch that guy on your way out and ask him.
No. 695996 ID: 211d83

He was not trying to move in a walmart right? Please tell me its not a walmart.
No. 695997 ID: f6442a

Do I smell a fellow con man?

Oh, nope, just these fresh bread rolls. Hup hup, to the police station now!
No. 695998 ID: 3a9db6
File 145334050925.png - (6.84KB , 500x500 , 1-145.png )

You bid farewell to Lisa, who is looking a bit shifty. Outside there is no sign of the businessman. You guess you’ll just head to your next stop, then.
No. 695999 ID: 3a9db6
File 145334051703.png - (36.24KB , 500x500 , 1-146.png )

No. 696017 ID: db34e7

no sense tryng to talk with the mayor now, shees probably to angry/annoyed, so lets continue, so, i vote the schoolhouse next.
No. 696026 ID: 5ad4a7

We've been told we can't speak to the mayor without an appointment anyway.

Unfortunately all the other destinations are an equal distance away from our current location... Go to the school next, sure. Can you cut between the library and cafe?

I think the optimal path would have been Cityhall-Library-cafe-school-shoppe-post office-police, as the police station is the furthest away from any other destination and going there last means we don't have to backtrack from it.
No. 696047 ID: 3a9db6
File 145334783321.png - (8.91KB , 500x500 , 1-148.png )

You catch a shortcut between the library and the café.

You pass this lady.

Hyena: “Kee saaw… what’re you looking at? Keep riding.”

She has a weird accent, but she's pretty big. You keep riding.
No. 696049 ID: 3a9db6
File 145334784801.png - (10.49KB , 500x500 , 1-147.png )

Full of strange curiosity, you go to the schoolhouse. Today it’s full of noisy kids.

Miss Angela: “Oh, it’s Mister Chuck!”

You: “Good morning Angela. One of your kids… appears to be eating a crayon.”

Miss Angela: “As they will. Go ahead and drop the acaroon-mays in my esk-day. Thank you!”

You: “My pleasure, miss.”

Miss Angela: “Say, any word on those books?”

You: “Not yet, but I’m on the case.”

Miss Angela: “I really appreciate this, Chuck!”
No. 696051 ID: 5ad4a7

Onwards, to the shoppe!
No. 696056 ID: 3a9db6
File 145334835838.png - (4.66KB , 500x500 , 1-149.png )

You drop off the pastries and head for the door, bound for the shop.

Miss Angela: “Oh, Chuck, I feel like a fool asking, but… could you possibly ask about one more think while you are at the library?”

You stop there.

Miss Angela: “Well… we have a few of these… educational CDs, as they’re called. If you… well, we could use a computer here. It would really help… the children. I don’t know if anyone up there can handle that sort of thing.”
No. 696058 ID: 5ad4a7

Education, huh? Maybe you can take a look too, never too old to learn right?
No. 696064 ID: 8bc016

Ask what's on them.
No. 696066 ID: 3e2cae

Yes, have sex with the ostrich next.
No. 696068 ID: 79a07e

Wait, no joke, I thought she was a long necked chicken.
No. 696069 ID: 15720c

>well, we could use a computer here.
Sounds like something to talk to Naz about.
No. 696077 ID: 3a9db6
File 145335097427.png - (6.19KB , 500x500 , 1-151.png )

You: “I can do that. You’re never too old to learn after all, right?”

Miss Angela: “No. No, never too old.”

You will see about talking to Naz later on. You can’t chat too long, though. Not after being late this morning.
No. 696078 ID: 3a9db6
File 145335099196.png - (39.85KB , 500x500 , 1-152.png )

No. 696079 ID: 3a9db6
File 145335100957.png - (7.72KB , 500x500 , 1-150.png )

Shoppe nextte. Ellen is there, but you can hear someone else in the back also.

Ellen: “Good morning.”

You set down the store’s order, which is second only to the café’s in size.

Ellen: “Thanks. Have a nice day, I guess.”

Ellen: “…wait, Marcie stopped by this morning and asked if we have apples.”

You: “And…?”

Ellen: “We don’t have apples.”

You: “Ok? Why not?”

Ellen: “Because that weird farmer won’t sell them to us. Marcie wants to make apple pies, I guess…”

Ellen: “I’ll give you some store credit if you can… I dunno, like… talk to him or something. He’s super weird.”
No. 696080 ID: 211d83

How weird are we talking here? If I end up chained up naked in a basement while someone covets my skin for making a suit I am holding you responsible.

Anyways point me in there direction and I will see what I can do.
No. 696082 ID: 15720c

>He’s super weird.
Weird how? Worships some weird entity, lusts after everybody, just can't talk right... There's all sorts of weird. I'm sure Charles has met a bunch of different sorts of weirds in his life before Coxwette.
No. 696084 ID: 15720c

Also, should mention we're already planning on heading to the library for a few errands afterwards, so we might not have the time tonight.