Dropkick the entire town, flattening it and challenging all the villains to combat at the same time.

Run for mayor of Villain Town.

Gnuk 2015/12/07(Mon)14:03 No. 687522 ID: d4bf06
File 144952582275.jpg - (52.02KB , 600x700 , REV002.jpg )

Trained for years in the ancient art of the Splitting motions that separate the wood that rise in the morning, i am now ready.

For in this wretched hive of villany and scum lays the person that took away the life of my father.

Gnuk 2015/12/07(Mon)14:04 No. 687523 ID: d4bf06
File 144952587179.jpg - (70.75KB , 800x600 , REV003.jpg )

For now it's the time i exact my

REVENGE!

Burn the village down!

>>687524
With the lemons!

You are very selfish. You seek vengeance only for yourself.

You must become an ally of JUSTICE. Seek vengeance for all who were slighted by the citizens of Villain town. Become a JUST man.

Wait so you know a martial art that specializes in chopping peoples' boners in half? That seems impractical.

>>687527
This is a dog eat dog world, you can only afford to look out for yourself and your own. You have to show the world that your family is not to be messed with. Justice is a luxury which will only get in the way of your quest for revenge!

But yeah, arson seems like a good place to start.

Please describe exactly what your martial arts can do.

Gnuk 2015/12/07(Mon)14:41 No. 687534 ID: d4bf06
File 144952808674.jpg - (55.08KB , 800x455 , REV004.jpg )

"Ok good. We finished painting the ancient entrance to the town. Now all we need to do is to check if there is enough cows to feed Mook the Giant and then we can take a break!"

"Good. Man, painting that door took forever"

Gnuk 2015/12/07(Mon)14:43 No. 687536 ID: d4bf06
File 144952823125.jpg - (64.18KB , 800x531 , REV005.jpg )

>Dropkick the entire town, flattening it and challenging all the villains to combat at the same time.

YAAAAAAAATTA!!!

CRASH!

Gnuk 2015/12/07(Mon)14:50 No. 687539 ID: d4bf06
File 144952864030.jpg - (75.98KB , 930x650 , REV006.jpg )

>You are very selfish. You seek vengeance only for yourself. You must become an ally of JUSTICE. Seek vengeance for all who were slighted by the citizens of Villain town. Become a JUST man.

>This is a dog eat dog world, you can only afford to look out for yourself and your own. You have to show the world that your family is not to be messed with. Justice is a luxury which will only get in the way of your quest for revenge!

Justice is by my side already! I am nothing but just a just man!

>Wait so you know a martial art that specializes in chopping peoples' boners in half? That seems impractical.

>Please describe exactly what your martial arts can do.

the ancient art of the Splitting motions that separate the wood that rise in the morning isn't something that can be described easily, nor shortly. It relates on precises and elegant strikes against a villain special chi points!

"YOUR FEEBLE AND EVIL DOOR IS NOT MATCH FOR THE POWER OF THE DROPKICK OF JUSTICE!"

"Who the hell are you?"

"The name given to me by my father before his death is OHGODIVEBEENSTABBEDSTOPASKINGMETONAMETHISFUCKINGCHILDANDCALLAMEDICUUUURGH! but people call me 'OH' and i'm here for..."

Gnuk 2015/12/07(Mon)14:51 No. 687540 ID: d4bf06
File 144952868738.jpg - (98.93KB , 800x600 , REV007.jpg )

"REVENGE!"

Punch them!

Gnuk 2015/12/07(Mon)14:55 No. 687542 ID: d4bf06
File 144952891153.jpg - (67.01KB , 800x442 , REV008.jpg )

>Burn the village down!

>But yeah, arson seems like a good place to start.

"And i shall burn this whole town if it helps taking the bastard that killed my father out of his hiding spot!"

"You want to burn down Villain town? Are you crazy?"

"YEAH! Arson is only on wednesday! Today is Friday you fool! We have a schedule here!"

"Someone should teach you a lesson!"

"YEAH!"

They are clearly evil minions and prepared to fight!

does your art have techniques for handling two at once? if not then distract one and fight the other.

>>687542
Ok what is Friday then? Explosions?

Introduce them to the concept of casual Friday.

By casually beating them to a pulp.

Feed them raw oats until their stomachs explode!

Hold ON! You haven't introduced yourself yet! Neither they, Before some proper fighting, it's polite to at least know each other's name, How could you impart justice if you don't know their names, let alone what they did?

>Introduce them to the concept of casual Friday.
I think you mean... Casualty Friday

Just for that, you're going the lame-puns route and feeding fried dicks to their daughters.

You're not sure what animal has the slang term "dick" but WHO CARES?

Make them SUFFER. A quick death is the easy warrior's solution - why let them escape this world when you can breed them like pigs and force them to eat their children until they see the insanity of "Villain Town"? Seriously, who razes their own town every Wednesday, that's like the most boring work day of the week!

Explain to them that justice runs on its own schedule using the power of interpretive pummeling.

Gnuk 2015/12/08(Tue)09:19 No. 687692 ID: 6e880d
File 144959518549.jpg - (72.99KB , 670x750 , REV009.jpg )

>does your art have techniques for handling two at once? if not then distract one and fight the other.

the art of the Splitting motions that separate the wood that rise in the morning excels in dealing with any kind of evildoers! No matter the number! I shall be victorious!

>Introduce them to the concept of casual Friday.
>I think you mean... Casualty Friday
>Feed them raw oats until their stomachs explode!
>Make them SUFFER. A quick death is the easy warrior's solution - why let them escape this world when you can breed them like pigs and force them to eat their children until they see the insanity of "Villain Town"?

I shall present these evildoers with a balance meal of FURY, VENGEANCE and JUSTICE!

Hold ON! You haven't introduced yourself yet! Neither they, Before some proper fighting, it's polite to at least know each other's name, How could you impart justice if you don't know their names, let alone what they did?

"VILLAINOUS SCUM! I HAVE INTRODUCED MYSELF PROPERLY! TELL ME YOUR NAMES SO THAT I MAY PROMPTLY FORGET ABOUT THEM RIGHT AFTER I PUMMEL YOU ALL INTO DUST!"

"Uh..."

"My name is Min Ion Uan!"

"And i'm Min Ion Chu!"

"Then, prepare to face the fury of the ancient art of the Splitting motions that separate the wood that rise in the morning! Pose of the great Crane that had a bad day and just wants to vent!"

Gnuk 2015/12/08(Tue)09:20 No. 687693 ID: 6e880d
File 144959525661.jpg - (68.15KB , 630x750 , REV010.jpg )

"T-that's a really dumb name for a..."

"WATTAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Gnuk 2015/12/08(Tue)09:24 No. 687694 ID: 6e880d
File 144959544341.jpg - (74.70KB , 600x800 , REV011.jpg )

"OH GODS I HEARD A FUCKING CRACK!"

"And now it's your turn! Suffer the ancient Fist of the great salmon that realizes that he's late for breeding and hastly goes against the waterfall!!!"

"OH NO, PLEASE!"

Gnuk 2015/12/08(Tue)09:27 No. 687696 ID: 6e880d
File 144959563866.jpg - (75.83KB , 550x800 , REV012.jpg )

"SOTEMAYOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Mommy"

Gnuk 2015/12/08(Tue)09:30 No. 687697 ID: 6e880d
File 144959581820.jpg - (66.27KB , 600x600 , REV013.jpg )

>Seriously, who razes their own town every Wednesday, that's like the most boring work day of the week!

>Ok what is Friday then? Explosions?

>Explain to them that justice runs on its own schedule using the power of interpretive pummeling.


Oh. I just realized i should have asked what happens on fridays. Might help me deal with these horrid people!

"YOU! Tell me what happens on Friday!"

No answer eh? These people might be thougher than i thought!

Gnuk 2015/12/08(Tue)09:32 No. 687698 ID: 6e880d
File 144959596016.jpg - (136.28KB , 800x800 , REV014.jpg )

"I can tell you!"

"I'd appreciate that, mysterious and menacing voice behind me!"

"Friday is BOSS RUSH MODE DAY! And i'm the first!"

Aim for the eyes.

Begin your assault by throwing Uan, then circle back and approach his crotch. IGNORE CROTCH and climb on Mook's back, grab his neck and hoist yourself up, doing a handstand on Mook's head. Twist and turn until he surrenders.

>>687698
The bigger they are, the harder they get punched in the dick. But be smart, avoid his slow attacks until you get a good opening.

I believe that you are well aware of the most ancient form of justice: "Eye for an eye".
Go for the eye, Oh!

>>687701
That's a misconception. His mass and muscle will only accelerate punches. However, inertia is Oh's side.

Inform him that no one is currently sure that there are enough cows to feed him. He should surely go check on that.

He size makes him an ideal target for your headbutt technique. Apply forehead directly to crotch.

>>687698
Use the technique of the startled honey badger when he discovers a large bear has approached it from behind.

Ah cool, That means we don't have to look for them.

Gnuk 2015/12/09(Wed)10:37 No. 687875 ID: bda34c
File 144968624952.jpg - (57.27KB , 750x650 , REV015.jpg )

>Use the technique of the startled honey badger when he discovers a large bear has approached it from behind.

But that's a technique from the ancient school of the stacked and short but fierce punches of hatred! I wasn't allowed to learn that during my training!

"Now, please stand still so that i can punch your head away!"

>But be smart, avoid his slow attacks until you get a good opening.

>That's a misconception. His mass and muscle will only accelerate punches. However, inertia is Oh's side.

"So. I can't not notice that it's taking a long time for you to throw that punch."

"It takes a while to aim when you lack depth perception!"

"I see. I apologize for my rudeness."

Gnuk 2015/12/09(Wed)10:40 No. 687876 ID: bda34c
File 144968644179.jpg - (85.65KB , 850x650 , REV016.jpg )

>Inform him that no one is currently sure that there are enough cows to feed him. He should surely go check on that.

"I heard from the two previous evil minions that there might be a lack of cows for your next meal."

"Allow me to help with that"

"Through the sacred CHARGE OF THE DALTONIC BULL THROUGH A FOREST IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SPRING!"

Gnuk 2015/12/09(Wed)10:42 No. 687878 ID: bda34c
File 144968653771.jpg - (84.92KB , 600x755 , REV017.jpg )

>He size makes him an ideal target for your headbutt technique. Apply forehead directly to crotch.

>Aim for the eyes.

>I believe that you are well aware of the most ancient form of justice: "Eye for an eye". Go for the eye, Oh!

I attack his clear weak point. His one eyed snake! Source of evil's evil!

Gnuk 2015/12/09(Wed)10:43 No. 687879 ID: bda34c
File 144968663651.jpg - (47.62KB , 750x650 , REV018.jpg )

"I... is that all you got? That b-b-barely tickled!"

Curses! This villain is stronger than i thought!

Use the Payload of the Leaping Star-Fingered Toad's Skin-Flavored Burden!

Jump in the air and perform multiple quick strikes to Mook's eye-socket!

>>687879
Now break his face. He can't block, and it's already half broken.

>>687879
He's covering his weak point! WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW, HERO?

Try taunting him, maybe he'll expose himself again. Or maybe you can de-pants him or give him a wedgie to finish him off.

Switch his eyepatch over to his good eye, blinding him.

Realize his head is shaped a bit like the head of a penis. I'm sure you'll know what to do from there.

Gnuk 2015/12/10(Thu)12:47 No. 688021 ID: 7fe30f
File 144978045759.jpg - (84.30KB , 800x800 , REV019.jpg )

>Realize his head is shaped a bit like the head of a penis. I'm sure you'll know what to do from there.

Visualization is the key to success!

>Now break his face. He can't block, and it's already half broken.

>Switch his eyepatch over to his good eye, blinding him.

>Jump in the air and perform multiple quick strikes to Mook's eye-socket!

"TASTE THE FURY OF THE POWERFUL BEAR SLAP THAT HUNTS THE SALMON BUT HE FALLS IN THE WATER AND FLAILS PATHETICALLY!"

"SHUUUUUUUSHA!"

Gnuk 2015/12/10(Thu)12:49 No. 688022 ID: 7fe30f
File 144978056857.jpg - (84.61KB , 900x650 , REV020.jpg )

"... You... YOU MONSTER! You switched my cool eyepatch! MY SECRET!"

"Wait... You can see from both eyes?"

"YES!"

"Then why do you wear a eyepatch..."

"S-SHUT UP IT LOOKS COOL!"

Gnuk 2015/12/10(Thu)12:51 No. 688023 ID: 7fe30f
File 144978067125.jpg - (63.61KB , 800x670 , REV021.jpg )

"Not really... It's a dumb reason to hamper yourself in combat!"

"S-s-shut up you don't understand anything! YOU MEANIE!"

Aaaaaaaaaaand there he runs away.

Crying.

I guess that means i win!

Gnuk 2015/12/10(Thu)12:52 No. 688025 ID: 7fe30f
File 144978075676.jpg - (73.96KB , 960x650 , REV022.jpg )

Oh well.

Let's see what's next.

I can choose who to fight next:

- "Meshito Na Kagata, master of the elegant style of the swan"

ooooor

- "Service of the Fan, mistress of pain and sideboob"

You'll teach the pain about pain all right.

Go right.

>>688025
do your attacks have female specific attacks? otherwise it may be trouble.

in which case go for Meshito Na Kagata

>>688027
You understand vaginas are not invulnerable? It still hurts like hell if you get hit there and they're actually more likely to take internal damage, with no padding from genitalia.

>>688027
Boobs are basically chest testicles.

>>688025
Go Left, fighting against a swan-based enemy might be fun. Going a third route is also fine.

Service Fan sounds like a cliché HORRIFYING TRAP. I mean, this IS Villain Town...

Go straight.

Equip signs
Go left

Don't forget to apply Splitting motions that separate the wood that rises to those two pieces of rising wood in front of you.

Never stand a sign to stand.

Go right, but deface the signs first.

Make sure to destroy the signs first, they are clearly evil.
Then, go right. Clearly Service Fan is just a cover name!

Gnuk 2015/12/12(Sat)12:25 No. 688324 ID: f42924
File 144995193127.jpg - (72.89KB , 880x600 , REV023.jpg )

>Go straight.

>Go right.

>Then, go right. Clearly Service Fan is just a cover name!

I shall face Service of the Fan, and show her how Pain is nothing compared to the true power of REVENGE!

>Equip signs

Don't forget to apply Splitting motions that separate the wood that rises to those two pieces of rising wood in front of you. Never stand a sign to stand.

>but deface the signs first.

>Make sure to destroy the signs first, they are clearly evil.

Everything in this town is clearly evil and villianous. And true justice does not discriminate about sex, gender, age, and if it is a living thing or an object!

"FACE THE WRATH OF THE ALMOST LITTERAL AXE THAT CUTS DOWN ACTUAL WOOD!"

Gnuk 2015/12/12(Sat)12:28 No. 688327 ID: f42924
File 144995210570.jpg - (65.87KB , 800x600 , REV024.jpg )

"NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH! GOOD JOB SEEING THROUGH MY TRAP, HERO!"

"I did what?"

>>688327
Shape the shadow into one big chi point and HIT IT!

Gnuk 2015/12/12(Sat)12:31 No. 688332 ID: f42924
File 144995231556.jpg - (72.29KB , 700x650 , REV025.jpg )

"but now you face the true power of HIDEO the SEEKER! Master of disguise and three time in a row champion of hide and seek!"

"Wait, where were you hiding?"

"Right under these signs, waiting for a hero to pass by so that i could ambush him!"

"Wait..."

"How long have you been waiting?"

"SIX WEEKS! And it was almost worth it! but enough chit-chat! FIGHT ME!"

>>688332
Hit all his pressure points!

Grab those stupid "sign-chucks" and jam them STRAIGHT INTO HIS EYES.

Then he'll probably reveal that was a log decoy all along so you'll want to set the nearby houses on fire, smoke him out.

Well he sure was hide-o, but I'm not sure staying in one place counts as seeking.

Stick one of those sticks up his ass. And the other up his dick.

Take a single step backwards. As soon as he comes at you he will surely pass out or die from not eating/drinking for SIX WEEKS.

Ask him on a date. Clearly he's just lonely and needs to get out more.

is he trying to fight you with wood rods? you have been specially trained to fight wood. the fool!

I think it's the time for the strike of the confused dog distressed by red light.

Start counting. His instinctive reaction will be to hide again.

>>688332
>HIDEO
Put your controller in Port 2.

Discourage him by informing him we did not in fact see through his trap. We merely are follower of a great hero's code: a code of broken signs and cutting grass for money.

Gnuk 2015/12/14(Mon)09:24 No. 688698 ID: cf2216
File 145011385085.jpg - (65.45KB , 1000x600 , REV026.jpg )

>Ask him on a date. Clearly he's just lonely and needs to get out more.

JUSTICE SHALL NEVER DATE EVIL! A BOOTYKICKCALL IS ALL IT SHALL GET IN THIS RELATIONSHIP!

>Well he sure was hide-o, but I'm not sure staying in one place counts as seeking.

>Take a single step backwards. As soon as he comes at you he will surely pass out or die from not eating/drinking for SIX WEEKS.

"Six weeks? Are you sure to feel well? That's a lot of time"

"NYEHEHEHEHEHEH! Six weeks are nothing for a champion like me. Mind over body!"

"Ok, but... Six weeks..."

"MIND OVER BODY!"

>Discourage him by informing him we did not in fact see through his trap. We merely are follower of a great hero's code: a code of broken signs and cutting grass for money.

"YOUR MIND IS NOT AS STRONG THEN! For you see, i haven't seen through your trap! I just broke those signs because they were in the path of my..."

Gnuk 2015/12/14(Mon)09:24 No. 688699 ID: cf2216
File 145011389152.jpg - (98.43KB , 800x600 , REV027.jpg )

"REVENGE!"

Gnuk 2015/12/14(Mon)09:25 No. 688700 ID: cf2216
File 145011393397.jpg - (46.22KB , 800x600 , REV028.jpg )

"By the gods..."

Gnuk 2015/12/14(Mon)09:26 No. 688702 ID: cf2216
File 145011396619.jpg - (54.46KB , 800x600 , REV029.jpg )

"You are just a huge moron"

Gnuk 2015/12/14(Mon)09:29 No. 688704 ID: cf2216
File 145011417253.jpg - (67.74KB , 800x600 , REV030.jpg )

"that's rich coming from someon that was using wood against a master of the Splitting motions that separate the wood that rise in the morning. I WILL SHOW YOU HOW WOODS CAN BE DEADLY!"

Where are those signs?

Oh there is one

And there is two

"FACE THE FLYING ATTACKS OF THE PECKERS THAT HEADBUTT THE TRUNK BECAUSE THEY MIGH BE DRUNK BUT THEY STILL NEED TO WORK FOR THEIR FAM..."

Where did he go?

Gnuk 2015/12/14(Mon)09:31 No. 688706 ID: cf2216
File 145011428724.jpg - (124.91KB , 1075x700 , REV031.jpg )

"NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH! YOU FOOL! YOU TOOK YOUR EYES AWAY FROM ME! AND NOW YOU'LL NEVER FIND ME! AND THEN I SHALL STRIKE YOU DOWN WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT! NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!!!"

Where is he?

And when did this place became crowded with objects?

>>688706
He surrounded a master of destroying wood with mundane objects. It's time to go Zelda on his ass.

Equip signs, do a magic spin. Ultimate tornado of the enraged chicken surrounded by rubbish after being provoked repeatedly!

One of the pots has a ninja headband. Smash it. Once he reveals that it was a decoy, smash his face.

Use sign 1 to smash the headband pot. Use sign 2 to smash his face if >>688719 is right.

>>688719
Codex Justicia approves of this action, brother.

He's hiding in the cracks on the wall! Throw one of the urns at it.

just destroy fucking everything

>>688708
This is clearly the best plan.

>>688706
he is clearly not in the pot with a headband, so use it to smash some barrels up.

Gnuk 2015/12/15(Tue)09:21 No. 688900 ID: 9c1b56
File 145020007797.jpg - (79.38KB , 650x620 , REV032.jpg )

>He surrounded a master of destroying wood with mundane objects. It's time to go Zelda on his ass.

>Equip signs, do a magic spin. Ultimate tornado of the enraged chicken surrounded by rubbish after being provoked repeatedly!

>One of the pots has a ninja headband. Smash it. Once he reveals that it was a decoy, smash his face.

>Use sign 1 to smash the headband pot. Use sign 2 to smash his face if >>688719 is right.

>Codex Justicia approves of this action, brother.

>He's hiding in the cracks on the wall! Throw one of the urns at it.

>just destroy fucking everything

>he is clearly not in the pot with a headband, so use it to smash some barrels up.

Right! Only one way to deal with this!

I grab the signs and SMASH EVERYTHING!

He won't be able to hide when there is nowhere to hide!

Gnuk 2015/12/15(Tue)09:23 No. 688901 ID: 9c1b56
File 145020019210.jpg - (94.21KB , 900x600 , REV033.jpg )

"H...how did you know i was h-hiding inside the s-s-sign..."

Gnuk 2015/12/15(Tue)09:23 No. 688902 ID: 9c1b56
File 145020023991.jpg - (48.58KB , 420x900 , REV034.jpg )

"I didn't"

"oh no"

Gnuk 2015/12/15(Tue)09:25 No. 688904 ID: 9c1b56
File 145020033692.jpg - (53.56KB , 800x570 , REV036.jpg )

Another boss defeated.

Onto the next one.

Wait, which one did i choose? Where were they?

Gnuk 2015/12/15(Tue)09:25 No. 688905 ID: 9c1b56
File 145020035731.jpg - (48.13KB , 630x600 , REV037.jpg )

"OUCH!"

Gnuk 2015/12/15(Tue)09:28 No. 688906 ID: 9c1b56
File 145020048578.jpg - (93.85KB , 600x750 , REV038.jpg )

"First blood is mine, hero~"

"Honestly, it was probably mine with how hard I kicked that weird guy's junk. So I assume you've found some way to make your projectile fans unbreakable or replace them when I snap them?"

OK, ask her flat out if she's got a penis. 'Cause you'll need to figure out Plan B if she doesn't.

>>688913
Don't worry, studies show that stabbing a woman in the crotch does MORE damage because of the advanced nerve system designed for better sensation

so if you hit her chi point she'll suffer less damage but feel more PAIN

Imply that you have expected far more from her title than you have received.

>>688913
Cunt punt is as effective as crushing the testicles. No need for a change in strategy.

>"Service of the Fan, mistress of pain and sideboob"
Am seeing a distinct lack of sideboob. Imposter maybe?

>>688906
"Last blood is the only blood that matters."

>Service of the Fan, mistress of pain and sideboob
I see NO SIDE BOOBS! She is a FAKE!

>>688917
>>688930
Obviously the signs were lying. We did confirm they were evil tricks.

Challenge her to a beauty contest!

Gnuk 2015/12/16(Wed)08:38 No. 689122 ID: d91d68
File 145028391870.jpg - (124.38KB , 850x600 , REV039.jpg )

>"Honestly, it was probably mine with how hard I kicked that weird guy's junk. So I assume you've found some way to make your projectile fans unbreakable or replace them when I snap them?"

>"Last blood is the only blood that matters."

"Merely a scratch! Victory shall me mine!"

"Bold words, coming from a bleeding man~"

>Imply that you have expected far more from her title than you have received.

>Am seeing a distinct lack of sideboob. Imposter maybe?

>I see NO SIDE BOOBS! She is a FAKE!

>Obviously the signs were lying. We did confirm they were evil tricks.

"Words coming from a man that sees through your disguise, imposter!!!"

"What?"

"Do you think i would have not notice the lack of sideboob? You must be just a decoy or just another obstacle to slow me down!"

Gnuk 2015/12/16(Wed)08:40 No. 689123 ID: d91d68
File 145028405514.jpg - (70.11KB , 520x800 , REV040.jpg )

>OK, ask her flat out if she's got a penis. 'Cause you'll need to figure out Plan B if she doesn't.

>so if you hit her chi point she'll suffer less damage but feel more PAIN

"I SHALL DISPOSE OF YOU IMMEDIATELY! PUNCH OF THE NOT SO EARLY BIRD THAT STILL GOT THE WORM BECAUSE IT FORGOT THAT IT WAS DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME!!!"

Gnuk 2015/12/16(Wed)08:43 No. 689124 ID: d91d68
File 145028419767.jpg - (67.78KB , 700x600 , REV041.jpg )

"UH!"

"Hahahahah~!"

Gnuk 2015/12/16(Wed)08:43 No. 689125 ID: d91d68
File 145028422235.jpg - (70.26KB , 750x750 , REV042.jpg )

"ARGH!"

Gnuk 2015/12/16(Wed)08:46 No. 689126 ID: d91d68
File 145028441849.jpg - (95.86KB , 580x750 , REV043.jpg )

"Happy now, hero? I am indeed the true Service of the Fan~"

So the signs weren't lying!

"I'm the indiscussed beauty of this town! No one can lay an hand on me thanks to my enticing body and perfect shapes!"

Gnuk 2015/12/16(Wed)08:49 No. 689127 ID: d91d68
File 145028459017.jpg - (64.18KB , 750x600 , REV044.jpg )

>Challenge her to a beauty contest!

"So you think your body is the best? I shall defeat you in your own speciality! I challenge you to a fanservice contest!"

"I... Uh... are you serious?"

"YES!"

"Fine then, show me what you got~"

Wait... why did i do that? What am i doing?

Now you RIP HER FACE OFF

Yes, rip off her face and wear it on your own.

and we are the only fans around. i say OH wins.

Reveal your perfectly sculpted upper body, obscured by your traditional clothes, and show her that true beauty comes from effort and disciplined life, not from genetic lottery.

Reveal self to be just as unattractive female.

>>689127
Bust out of your shirt and pose.

When she falls over laughing, or attempts her own pose, bunch her in the faces.

The ravages of time wear down the curves of a particularly pleasing coastline!

EveryZig!Ac/akrMPao 2015/12/16(Wed)11:13 No. 689148 ID: 740428
File 145029320744.jpg - (33.89KB , 358x300 , zlndr.jpg )

You know what you must do.

>>689148
Yes! Do the Zoolander face!

(This honestly made me laugh more than it should have! XD)

>>689134

>>689134
This.

Fanservice vs MANservice

>>689148
This is the only real option

>>689134
>>689148
Let's do both of these together! XD

Gnuk 2015/12/18(Fri)13:28 No. 689484 ID: 13731a
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"Come on, hero~. What is wrong?"

"..."

Gnuk 2015/12/18(Fri)13:31 No. 689485 ID: 13731a
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>Reveal your perfectly sculpted upper body, obscured by your traditional clothes, and show her that true beauty comes from effort and disciplined life, not from genetic lottery.

>Bust out of your shirt and pose.

>You know what you must do.

>Yes! Do the Zoolander face!

>Fanservice vs MANservice

>This is the only real option

>Let's do both of these together! XD

"..."

"Uh..."

"How?"

"Justice and REVENGE have toned my body and spirit beyond any possible imagination."

"Uuuuuh"

She's distracted! It's my time to strike!

Gnuk 2015/12/18(Fri)13:32 No. 689486 ID: 13731a
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"YOU ARE WIDE OPEN! FEEL THE STRIKE OF THE HAPPY OTTER THAT SMASHES THE CLAM WITH THEIR FAVOURITE ROCK!"

Gnuk 2015/12/18(Fri)13:34 No. 689487 ID: 13731a
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"WIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

"KYAAAAAAA!"

*thump*

"W-what a man..."

Another boss defeated!

Gnuk 2015/12/18(Fri)13:35 No. 689488 ID: 13731a
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It seems i managed to get through the whole town now.

Right behind this door lies the monster that killed my father!

>>689488
Kick the door in. DYNAMIC ENTRANCE!

Please stomp on Service Fan until she stops twitching.

Then find an alternate entrance and STAB THE @#$% OUT OF THE FINAL BOSS!

He WILL play dirty, so be smart and take him out with the HUNGRY RAT WHO NEEDS TO KILL A BABY KITTEN FOR HIS SWEET MEAL OF HONEYED CHEESE move!

>>689487
And to think, normally her clothes being destroyed works to her advantage! She's totally throwing herself at him when this is over, right.

>It seems i managed to get through the whole town now.
Wait, no! You didn't deal with Meshito Na Kagata! Double back, and take the left hand path from the back. Kick the boss you skipped in the balls from behind.

Then we can go forward and deal with the final boss. Revenge demands you take all the routes.

It's a mirror. You were the monster all along.

>>689495
This is good advice. No one needs an avoidable double boss fight.

Gnuk 2015/12/20(Sun)11:33 No. 689669 ID: 024512
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>Please stomp on Service Fan until she stops twitching.

She has been dealt with.

>Wait, no! You didn't deal with Meshito Na Kagata! Double back, and take the left hand path from the back. Kick the boss you skipped in the balls from behind.

>This is good advice. No one needs an avoidable double boss fight.

Mmmh right!

"BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY ATTACK!

"Meep!"

Ok. that's taken care of.

Gnuk 2015/12/20(Sun)11:35 No. 689670 ID: 024512
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>Kick the door in. DYNAMIC ENTRANCE!

>Then find an alternate entrance and STAB THE @#$% OUT OF THE FINAL BOSS!

>Then we can go forward and deal with the final boss. Revenge demands you take all the routes.

"WAAAAAAACHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! FACE ME VILLAIN! I SHALL HAVE MY..."

Gnuk 2015/12/20(Sun)11:36 No. 689671 ID: 024512
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>It's a mirror. You were the monster all along.

"..revenge..."

There is only a mirror in this empty giant house.

And it reflects my face.

my own face, twisted into an evil and angry grimace...

Gnuk 2015/12/20(Sun)11:38 No. 689672 ID: 024512
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W-what has happened to me...

Have i became the villain?

Was my thirst for revenge so strong that it clouded my own judgment?

How could have this happened.

Maybe the real revenge was the bosses i killed along the w

Gnuk 2015/12/20(Sun)11:39 No. 689673 ID: 024512
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"YAH!"

"OUCH!"

Gnuk 2015/12/20(Sun)11:40 No. 689674 ID: 024512
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"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! WE FINALLY MEET AT LAST...



...BROTHER!"

Ok... this kinda make more sense...

Wait, if you're my twin how the fuck did you stab our father when we were both newborn infants?

Don't try to attack him, he'll block all your attacks. Start punching yourself. He'll feel every blow because of your twin connection. Beat yourself to within an inch of your life!

>>689674
Kick him in the dick.

Your revenge is stupid.

Your pursuit is ALL THAT HAS EVER MATTERED.

Your masters BRED YOU FOR WAR and PROGRAMMED YOUR MIND. They made this REJECT murder your father to give you a REASON to HATE that DIDN'T POINT YOU AT THEM.

But at least because of Land Master Steve, you have the skill needed to get past today.

HEYOH BULLET FIST!

NO @#$%ING ANIMALS

1. AFTERSHOCK WINDWAVE of the LONG PELLET that was SHOT from a BIGOTED FATASS FATHER!
2. SONIC BOOM of the MANY PELLETS that were EXPLODED from the barrel of a MUTUALLY-KILLING WORN-OUT SHOTGUN!
3. ULTIMATE ANTI-BIOLOGICAL SKILL! HOLLOW... FIST!

time for the ultimate battle. unleash your KI and power up.

>>689674
You know what you must do. You have no brother. (...but by the time this battle is over you might have a sister).

Strike your own weak spot! As you know yourself, so do you know your opponent!

To begin the fight: kick the empty mirror frame in front of you as hard as you can, so the frame spins forward to simultaneously smash him in the shin and back of the head. As you spit the wood, so shall the wood split him.

>>689675
yes, ask him that!

>>689684
Thirded.

And be strangely conflicted about kinslaying. Yes, he killed your father, but will you be the same as he is if you kill him? Consult your dojo's code on the issue.

Gnuk 2015/12/21(Mon)13:09 No. 689808 ID: d080ed
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>Wait, if you're my twin how the fuck did you stab our father when we were both newborn infants?

>yes, ask him that!

>Thirded.


"How is this possible? Our father was killed when i was a newborn! How did you kill him?"

"With a knife!"

"OF COURSE!"

Gnuk 2015/12/21(Mon)13:14 No. 689809 ID: d080ed
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>Kick him in the dick.

>Your revenge is stupid.

>Your pursuit is ALL THAT HAS EVER MATTERED.

>You know what you must do. You have no brother. (...but by the time this battle is over you might have a sister).

>And be strangely conflicted about kinslaying. Yes, he killed your father, but will you be the same as he is if you kill him? Consult your dojo's code on the issue.


Truly this is what i prepared for! To take REVENGE for the death of my father.

But...


But...

...will i be able to raise my own fist and martial arts against my own blood? Will i be ok to become a fratricide?

Gnuk 2015/12/21(Mon)13:14 No. 689810 ID: d080ed
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...

Yes.

Definitively yes.

Gnuk 2015/12/21(Mon)13:17 No. 689811 ID: d080ed
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>time for the ultimate battle. unleash your KI and power up.

>3. ULTIMATE ANTI-BIOLOGICAL SKILL! HOLLOW... FIST!

>Strike your own weak spot! As you know yourself, so do you know your opponent!

>Don't try to attack him, he'll block all your attacks. Start punching yourself. He'll feel every blow because of your twin connection. Beat yourself to within an inch of your life!

"TAKE THIS! WAAAAAAAOUCH!"

"..."

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I hit myself so that you will feel the pain through our twin connection!"

"..."

"I am ashamed to share your same DNA..."

Ok, that didn't work

Also it hurts like hell...

what's the plan now?

"And I'm ashamed of your facial hair but you don't see me being rude."

channel pain and rage together for ultimate attack.

>>689811
Remove knife, use on brother. Poetic justice.

The cock ruse... was a distaction!

Shave his moustache off with the knife. Then incorporate the weapon into your fighting style.

Strap knife to shoe, kick brother in dick with knife-shoe

>>689811
...I did not mean that quite so literally.

Tell him he's just mad dad gave you all the dominant genes.

... Wait a minute.

The baby that was holding a knife had beard stubble. The baby that stabbed your father HAD NO BEARD STUBBLE.

... Were you BOTH murder compatriots all along?

>>689814
Wait wait, let me try that again.

Take your brother's knife
Stab it deep into his heart
Poetic justice

Gnuk 2015/12/22(Tue)11:22 No. 689917 ID: 1471dc
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>"And I'm ashamed of your facial hair but you don't see me being rude."

>Tell him he's just mad dad gave you all the dominant genes.

"WELL AT LEAST MY DNA DOESN'T LOOK STUPID!"

"..."

>The cock ruse... was a distaction!

>Remove knife, use on brother. Poetic justice.

>Take your brother's knife

"For my plan was to distrac all along! Now face the wrath of the KNIFE-KICK OF POETIC JUSTICE!"

Gnuk 2015/12/22(Tue)11:22 No. 689918 ID: 1471dc
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"WHAT!"

"Tch!"

Gnuk 2015/12/22(Tue)11:23 No. 689919 ID: 1471dc
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"PATHETIC!"

"URFGH!"

"I am the SUPERIOR TWIN!"

Gnuk 2015/12/22(Tue)11:25 No. 689920 ID: 1471dc
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He's strong...

Really strong...

Way too strong...

I can't defeat him like this...

What would i do, Master of Land Steve?

Only your wisdom would save me from this situation...

Gnuk 2015/12/22(Tue)11:25 No. 689921 ID: 1471dc
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...

But of course!

Thanks, master!

Gnuk 2015/12/22(Tue)11:26 No. 689922 ID: 1471dc
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>Kick him in the dick.

I will end this, once and for all!

Gnuk 2015/12/22(Tue)11:29 No. 689923 ID: 1471dc
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>channel pain and rage together for ultimate attack.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY LAST WORD, BROTHER?"

"I SHALL DEFEAT YOU, MONSTER!"

"SHOW ME WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF, YOU LOUSY WEAKLING! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

It's time.

The final showdown.

Time to unleash my final attack...


time to unleash ________________________

Go run back, grab Service of the Fan, throw her at your evil twin. He might be using some sort of cup, but throwing a naked woman at him should take care of that.

Monkey peels the banana only to be displeased by rotten contents and smashes over-ripe fruit into paste!

Leaping Dragon, Flying Nippletwister!

Time to unleash A Simple Wizard Fist!

>>689923
special power: ass blaster! nobody expects an attack from the rear!

The seal miraculously, yet gracelessly escapes the maw of the killer whale in mid-air, only to be confronted by the polar bear on a block of floating ice with the killer whale still in determined pursuit.

FIST OF THE TEN THOUSAND YEAR KANGAROO IMBUED WITH THE POWER OF CELESTIAL INTERVENTION, JUDGEMENT AND JUSTICE WHILE ALSO EMPOWERED WITH THE EMOTION OF A THOUSAND SUNS, QUASARS, PLANETS, MOONS AND OTHER MINORITY SPACE OBJECTS (bless their soul) AND THE SPIRIT OF EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE BUSTER MISSILE BEAM REDUX TIMES TEN

Often shortened to the Fist of Justice, Emotion and Spirit. In any order.

If it's time for the final showdown, then it's time to hit him with the Fist of [the entire lyrics of lemondemon's "Ultimate Showdown" song]
The song will get stuck in his head, crippling him.

Use "The fist of the man punching with the fist of the man punching with the fist of the man punching with the fist of the man punching with the fist of the man punching with the fist of the man punching", the technique that has been folded upon itself seven times by master punchsmiths until it is unbreakable!

THE FIST OF THE FLAMING FALCON!!!!!

Which is often shortened to: FALCON PUNCH!!!!!

>>689923
This wasnt even your real power level, or hitpoints!

This was a ruse, and that damage done was to your PRE hitpoints! HAHAHAHA

Reveal to him that this whole time you've been fighting with your non-dominant hand.

Gnuk 2015/12/25(Fri)13:36 No. 690315 ID: c81f24
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"YOU WILL NEVER WIN! YOU ARE WEAK AND PATHETIC!"

Gnuk 2015/12/25(Fri)13:36 No. 690316 ID: c81f24
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"Enough!"

Gnuk 2015/12/25(Fri)13:39 No. 690317 ID: c81f24
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>Time to unleash A Simple Wizard Fist!

>FIST OF THE TEN THOUSAND YEAR KANGAROO IMBUED WITH THE POWER OF CELESTIAL INTERVENTION, JUDGEMENT AND JUSTICE WHILE ALSO EMPOWERED WITH THE EMOTION OF A THOUSAND SUNS, QUASARS, PLANETS, MOONS AND OTHER MINORITY SPACE OBJECTS (bless their soul) AND THE SPIRIT OF EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE BUSTER MISSILE BEAM REDUX TIMES TEN Often shortened to the Fist of Justice, Emotion and Spirit. In any order.

>If it's time for the final showdown, then it's time to hit him with the Fist of [the entire lyrics of lemondemon's "Ultimate Showdown" song] The song will get stuck in his head, crippling him.

>Use "The fist of the man punching with the fist of the man punching with the fist of the man punching with the fist of the man punching with the fist of the man punching with the fist of the man punching", the technique that has been folded upon itself seven times by master punchsmiths until it is unbreakable!

>THE FIST OF THE FLAMING FALCON!!!!! Which is often shortened to: FALCON PUNCH!!!!!

>This wasnt even your real power level, or hitpoints!

>Reveal to him that this whole time you've been fighting with your non-dominant hand.

"You might be stronger, but i have something you don't have! A revenge to get! I trained my entire life for this. And now, you shall see the final secret art of the Splitting motions that separate the wood that rise in the morning!"

"THE FIST"

Gnuk 2015/12/25(Fri)13:41 No. 690318 ID: c81f24
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"And that what happened, uncle Oh? Please continue the story i wanna know!"


"There is no need for that"

"But i wanna know what happened to papa's crotch!"

Gnuk 2015/12/25(Fri)13:42 No. 690322 ID: c81f24
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"That's what happened."

... Punch nonexistent kid, you're rambling again.

Gnuk 2015/12/25(Fri)13:44 No. 690324 ID: c81f24
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*Cough*

*Cough*

"You... you might have won... brother..."

"But... tell me brother... do you feel satisfied? Do you feel happy about having spilled your own blood and destroyed the remaining of your family?"

"Do you... think... this entire arc of violence was... worth?"

"..."

Oh wait, just punch nonexistent kid back into existence. As a girl this time.

Gnuk 2015/12/25(Fri)13:46 No. 690326 ID: c81f24
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"Yeah. I feel pretty good now!"

Gnuk 2015/12/25(Fri)13:46 No. 690327 ID: c81f24
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THE END

Now punch yourself into FrogQuest!

Punch/Punch, would punch again.

>Do you feel happy about having spilled your own blood and destroyed the remaining of your family?
Hey, so long as one set of family jewels survived, we're good.

>>690327
Yes, but who played the babies in the flashbacks. Or the nurse / mother / whoeverthatwasholdingthebabiesbeforethefather. Or the father.

>>690330
CGI twilight babies. The reviewers pointed out that the whole flashback looked rather forced and badly executed but fuck them

The movie delved into themes of multiple timelines that influence each other. It is possible that it becomes a cult classic on that alone. Worse movies have.

I loved Patric Rob Tagonist's Acting, He really got into the character.

>>690326
MISSION COMPLETE

>>690330
It took decades to complete this production, because the babies were actually played by Patric Rob Tagonist back when he was a baby.