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Grey Cherry Cascade
96e454
>Stick your dick in those
I can't see that ending well
>"How big can those go?"
Shopkeep raises an eyebrow. "Right to the deep and meaningful questions I see." She puts a hand to her throat. "Well, this is as big as they've ever been. I guess that means, yes, they could be bigger."
>"Do you have a subwoofer in your butt?"
"Hmmmmm, not at the moment, no."
>"Where's the headphone jack hidden?"
"That's for me to know and you to try and find out."
>"What... is your name?"
"Ha ha, very funny."
>"What... is your favorite color?"
"Red. Like blood. Like strawberries."
>What is the primary source of rhubarb across the world?
She takes a breadstick. "Didn't those die out?"
>"Hobbies?"
"Well, like I said the other other day, I'm an amateur boxer. Wait, hmm, you don't remember that, do you? Uh, this is kinda weird not being sure what you know. I also enjoy indulging my inner film buff and singing in the shower."
>"Is shopkeeping your life goal, or do you have some higher calling?"
"Eh, it pays the bills. Meet interestingly crazy people. The boss is alright. Very hands off. I swear he's a fence or something."
>"What is your magnum opus?"
"ME." She noisily crunches on the breadstick.
>"What is your favourite dinosaur?"
"The Tyrannosaurus Rex, duh"
>"What is the colour of night?"
"Darkish."
"That's not a colour."
"There's a lot of nights." she points out, raisin her eyebrows as if this is an argument of significant merit.
>"In a fight, who would win, Alice or Ophidian?"
"Psh, that's not even a fight. Alice, easy."
>"What is your favourite pizza topping?"
"Meat."
>"Favourite song?"
"I'll say Guile's theme. It goes with everything."
>"So how serious were you about the harem thing?"
"I'm kinda playing this by ear. Technically a harem of one isn't a harem, right?" She looks at me thoughtfully. "Don't tell me you're jealous of [default]."
>"How long have you been getting men to literally melt over you?"
"Yeah, that's new. They used to just run away or die on me."
>You don't have any laughably reckless parents, right? I'm not sure we could handle more than one source of nanogoo level crazy.
"I'm a sad little orphan. I have a crazy cat lady aunt?"
>Probably not, but just to be sure... you're not secretly the mastermind behind all this weird stuff that happened to me(s), right?
She eats another breadstick. "Yeah, probably not."
>Hypothetically, what do you do if [default] goes Little Shop of Horrors on us?
"Well Seymour, I think how it goes is either I die tragically and then you electrocute her to death and live on as a hollow shell of man or we both die and Audrey II was an alien invader all along."
"That's kinda depressing." I say.
She picks up a breadstick. "That, or fire. Lots of fire."
>"How big should I ask Goo-me to make my dong? This is important."
She snaps it in half. "Haha, I know I was giving you shit about it but no need to get insecure about something I've never seen. Let's see how I go about expanding your dong first, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess."
She smiles, holds, and finishes. "...if I can find it."
Psssh, should have seen it coming.
>"How do I look?"
"You still kinda look like death. Maybe you should get an early night, huh?"
>"You are not phased by becoming a criminal accomplice recently. Have you done criminal activity in the past?"
"Yes, I'm very active as a criminal. Number one in crimes, that's me."
>"Do we have world domination plans yet, should we have some if not, and what would they be either way?"
"That kinda sounds like a lot of work." She looks up as she thinks. "Uh, kidnap all the world's leaders, including the secret shadow government that secretly controls everything, and challenge them to a no-holds barred free-for-all brawl for rulership of the planet?"
>"So, did you enjoy screwing with me at the shop when I first met you?"..."You might want to try again under a different context tonight."
She pouts. "But I'm having so much fun with it right now."
>"What is love? Baby don't hurt me."
"You're not dating a poet here."
>"Besides the magic music-playing knockers and physical reinforcement, have you considered anything less er... mundane?"
"Wow, rude. What's less mundane then? Anyway, my turn to play interrogator." she grins. "I'll hit you with a pile up front. Lessee."
She leans forward, focused intently on my eyes and rattles them off:
"How many inches is it then?"
"What's your favourite hobby?"
"What do you think everyone will say at your funeral?"
"What would you say is your greatest weakness?"
"Can you describe your perfect Sunday?"
"What superpower would you most like to have?"
"If you could go back in time and change one decision you made, what would it be?"
"Where do you see yourself five days from now?"
"What are your hopes and dreams?"
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