FRACTAL 2015/09/29(Tue)22:53 No. 673891 ID: a6f913
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“Hm. Nothing really useful in there,” she says, once we’ve scrolled all the way to the bottom. Nanako comes out into the living room again, dressed and dragging along a nasty looking bat, and Chidori lets her scan the emails. “But you might as well keep ‘em in mind for your visit, huh?”

I think about bringing up the possibility of leaving Ne alive – he’s useful, at least – but I don’t think I wanna argue in favor of the broker in a hit deal on Chidori while her girlfriend is standing two feet away from me with a baseball bat. I let it go. Nana leaves. Part of me hopes that Ne is out of town by now.

FRACTAL 2015/09/29(Tue)22:54 No. 673892 ID: a6f913
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There’s a long stretch of silence when the door closes after Nanako. I want to leave but there’s too much to talk about. I want to ask to sit down but I don’t feel like I can. “You know, I wasn’t okay with it, Chidori. That’s why I’m here,” I finally mutter. “And that was kind of a shitty situation to put me in, you know – throwing me in there without me knowing what was going on.”

Chidori raises her eyebrows at me and lets out another one of those hard little laughs. “You are not gonna talk to me about putting people in shitty situations.”

“If this is about the Rabies thing –“

“Of course it’s about the fucking Rabies thing.” Chidori’s voice is quiet. “I don’t regret helping you, Lowry. I don’t want you to ever think I regret any of it. But it sure would have been cool if you’d, I dunno, fucking texted me or something after your boyfriend dug my eyeballs out of my head with his fingers.”

Well goddamn Lowry, what the fuck happened there? or is that memory missing too?

>>673892
Rabies probably robbed me of my memories of you, or did something else at the time.

My memories were extracted from me, Chidori. That's not me whining forgiveness, because it could have been just me being a chicken shit. I'm not that person anymore, I don't feel much guilt for anything I my past self did, all I feel is that I want to kick her ass for losing herself. She's like a goddamn alien to me, Chidori.

This self appreciates everything you did, Chidori. This self just needed to remember what you did. The coward in the past was either in a corner or was getting mindfucked into forgetfulness. She's a different person, a victim. This self would send you a text. Would you like me to send you a text now? It's a bit late, but I'd love to do something.

Not sure what exactly happened between you two (and it would be nice to be filled in) but it sounds like at the least you owe Chidori an apology.

Thank her for everything she's done, too. You probably haven't been doing that much lately.

By the way, you wouldn't happen to know WHY my old self left Sweat? Did they come before or after Rabies? If Sweat's just like the rest of my exes, I need to know. They're helping me right now and I need to know if I can trust it.

Is Rabies still alive, or did the Sukebun eventually kill him for what he did to you? I might need to carve out his eyeballs to get my memories back. Since SOMEONE'S out to get you, if you want to ride on my drive down memory lane, you're free to hop on at any time and change some destinations here and there. I'm not that meek little girl anymore, and I still have Ne's gun. He'll be full of lead before he gets anywhere close to blinding range.

... Wait, that sequence of words doesn't make sense.

But in all seriousness, you ARE sorry. But what was that weak, naïve you supposed to do after watching your boyfriend butcher someone? Basically your brain turned itself off from the psychological strain. Won't happen while your empathy is still lobotomized.

Tell Chidori that you intend to get her some kind of replacement, even if things will never be the same again. You don't intend to return to the "prize girlfriend" you had the misfortune of being, but it would be nice to get the "prize" back for happiness purposes.

One more voice in your head, telling you what the old you would have done, how happy she is that you're living for her; your own. You intend to help Chidori retrieve something similar.

do you have any memories of that happening? if not, ask chidori about what happened, if rabies is still alive, etc.. also fucking apologize lol.

>>673908

>>673899
Sweat is IN THE ROOM, don't. Sorry for double post but I'm on mobile.

>>673917
They ARE? Fuck. I thought they stood outside for some reason because Sweat would have been a stranger to Shidori or Nanako.

I actually mistook them for a coat rack my first readthrough.

Well, save that question for another time then.

Explaining that you don't know what she's talking about and a lot was taken from you might help, or maybe it'll just make things worse. If you aren't even the person she helped then she might not be happy at the sacrifice she made.

I think you should tell her there's a lot you don't remember, because it was taken from you. If nothing else maybe she can remind of you a few things.

If you remember, dont say that you dont. Apologize, say you're sorry, you didn't know what to do, you were scared. You called yourself a coward before. Say a lot of your memories got wiped, try to clarify what you remember.
Maybe ask if you can find her replacement eyes, unless she doesnt want them.
Seriously, Lowry, we need better filled in. What happened?

you said you weren't afraid of him. i was. i was afraid he'd hurt you. i was afraid i'd have to bear that guilt. i couldn't face you after that. i was a coward.

>But it sure would have been cool if you’d, I dunno, fucking texted me or something after your boyfriend dug my eyeballs out of my head with his fingers.
Yeah. I suck, sorry. My head's not been in the right place. Hell, I'm just now coming to realize how much of it is in the wrong places. Not that that's an excuse.

Politely remind her that you've had a lot more than eyes dug out of your head, and also you can't remember jack.

FRACTAL 2015/09/30(Wed)13:23 No. 673993 ID: a6f913
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This I remember. Chidori – with the Sukebun backing her up – was the one who helped me leave Rabies. Honestly, though, “leave” doesn’t do much for accuracy. It was more like “escape.” Part of why I accepted her help was because I knew that Rabies couldn’t kill her, with her being so important in a pretty prominent gang. And he didn’t kill her. But I guess I hadn’t thought about what else he could do.

He got Nanako too – some kind of fucked up “yours for mine” thing – but it’s not like Nanako really liked me anyway before all this. Now she just has a much better reason to hate me.

And I ran, yeah. As soon as she got me out I holed myself up and I didn’t talk to anybody, least of all her. She never retracted the Sukebun’s protection, though, even after everything that happened, and it was enough for me to get a kind of normal job and just sort of get by for a bit.

I wanna say I hate myself for it but I don’t. I wanna say I’m sorry but I don’t feel sorry. I’m just kind of uncomfortable and tired. For the first time I’m starting to actually be bothered by whatever I’m missing.

FRACTAL 2015/09/30(Wed)13:24 No. 673994 ID: a6f913
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“Yeah. I suck. I’m sorry.”

She closes the laptop and stares off into the corner. “You’re not sorry.”


“I know, but I figured it might help to hear.” I give a loose shrug. “If I could be sorry I would be.”

“I guess that’s something.”

My chest hurts. I rub at my breastbone distractedly, trying to scrub the feeling out. “It was – I know this isn’t an excuse, but you know how I was then. I was a fucking coward. I was a victim and I was weak. I was scared and I didn’t know what to do and I couldn’t face you.”

FRACTAL 2015/09/30(Wed)13:24 No. 673995 ID: a6f913
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Chidori scoffs and pulls her hair over her shoulder. “You know, you keep talking shit about the old you, but I liked her a hell of a lot better.” She pauses. I don’t have anything to say. When she speaks again it’s really quiet. “I used to really, really like you, Lowry.”

I hate this. I hate not having anything to say. I hate knowing what I should be feeling and watching myself just … not feel it. I rub the back of my neck and look away.
“This sucks,” Chidori finally says, lightly. “This fucking sucks.”

You can say that again.

>>673995
Yeah, it sucks, but doing nothing about it all isn't going to make it any better.

Maybe you could get her back. I don't know. She was happy, sometimes, at least. I'm trying to get my memories back, all of it. I don't know if that'll turn me back into half me then, half me now, but I figure that's a better goal than me taking care of Reiss like he's a puppy and doing nothing about it. Besides, I need to know whether or not I should fix Reiss back up or leave him to die in squalor.

You know anything about how memories are stolen, Chidori? Which groups or gangs are IN that market? Would you like to take a look at what I've found so far?

We might have to kill Rabies, along the way. Join my party, if you'd like to take part. Could find the person who wants you dead too.

tell her about the memory of her you got back. she still cares about you - let her know what's going on.

Ask if there's anything we can do to help her feel better. Or help in general.

(Knowing us, we will probably try to beat up/kill Rabies when we encounter him. Even though we should feel it out first. Point is, we oughta try to trade for her and Nanako's eyes back/ Take them from his crumpled, beaten, possibly dead ass/ Take his eyes and Give them to Chidori. DO NOT OFFER THIS UNTIL AFTER THE FACT. We don't want to create another situation where we renig on our promises like with Ne. )

>>673995
Sounds like you want your emotions back after all.

>>674003
>>674019
ask her if she wants you to get her eyes back maybe? mention the memory. mention you're missing a lot and that you got one back.

It's not all bad, though. ... Besides, what would you even put in to replace the ability to give a fuck?

>“This sucks,” Chidori finally says, lightly. “This fucking sucks.”
Yeah.

>You know, you keep talking shit about the old you, but I liked her a hell of a lot better.
It's easier to talk shit about her. I can't be her. Not without all my marbles, and I'm missing a hell of a lot of those.

>>674031
I feel like that's kind of adding insult to injury to bring up. If her eyes were get readily back-able, she would have used her gang connections for that.

FRACTAL 2015/09/30(Wed)17:14 No. 674053 ID: a6f913
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“It turns out I’m missing more than just …” I gesture vaguely at my ears. “Whatever used to make me me. I was missing a bunch of memories, too, and I didn’t know til yesterday.”

She looks over her shoulder at me but doesn’t say anything. I figure I should just keep going.

“Turns out Ne had a bunch of them. He was gonna sell them back but I just made him give them to me. One of them is about you.”

She’s running her fingers through her hair over and over again, really slow. “What is it?”

“The time you let me stay at your place and we watched Kill Bill. When I was still with Rabies.”

“Oh.” She laughs a little bit. It’s relieving. “You really hated it.”

“Did I?”

“Yeah, you thought it was awful.”

“Mm.” After a moment of hesitation, I pull up a chair next to her. “Maybe I would like it now.”

She props her chin up on her hand. “Maybe you would.”

FRACTAL 2015/09/30(Wed)17:14 No. 674054 ID: a6f913
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We sit for a bit in silence. She’s looking at me really hard. I wish I knew what she was thinking but I’m not gonna ask. Finally she says, “You want a beer? Because I want a beer.”

“It’s like 7:30 in the morning.”

“Yep.” She gets up and crosses to the fridge, rummaging through. “Does Sweat want one?”

“I tried feeding it this morning and it dumped it all on the floor.”

“Let’s say ‘no’ to that then.” She comes back over with two bottles of Sapporo and a bottle opener, but she just opens hers by hitting it vertically against the tabletop. I guess the opener is for me. “So. Memories.”

“Memories.” I lean back in my chair. “I want them back, I think.”

“That’s gonna be tough.” She drinks thoughtfully. “Memory market is real fluid. Hard to pin down. And it sucks because when you’re missing memories it’s hard to know what was taken. I mean, you said yourself you didn’t even know you were missing anything til now.”

“Yeah. I wonder how much more I’m missing.”

“Might be easier to track down the thief than the individual memories themselves.” She wipes a stray droplet off the mouth of her bottle with the pad of her thumb. “Got any theories?”

Considering the content of the memories you probably did it to yourself.

So. Think. Who would you sell them to?

>>674055

Good point. You were probably sitting there after all of the crap with Rabies wishing that you were stronger and regretting your choices. And then you got the idea to sell the memories that you thought made you weak.

Because all of your friends would have helped save you if someone had kidnapped you and sucked out all your memories.

Take beer.

>Memory market is real fluid. Hard to pin down
Why is there a memory market, anyways. What the hell good is someone else's memory.

>Got any theories?
Most likely candidates? Either one of my asshole boyfriends did it to me... or I did it to myself. Those were the destructive, abusive people in my life. The ones who wouldn't have stopped just cause it meant hurting me.

>>674054
Honestly, if it wasn't me, it's probably Reiss. One of the memories implied that the beginning of our relationship was a really bad one, as in I was a hitchhiker and he didn't let me off on my street, then somehow ended up dating him. It had a really creepy vibe to it.

Did you know Reiss at all, Chidori? Anything about his history? I just realize how little I know of the man I've been living with and been taking care of.

maybe it was Reiss, but Reiss is busted.
He took a memory - well, actually, wait, do you remember me dating Sweat at all?? Someone took my entire memory of being romantic with it, which means it was probably someone who wanted me for himself. Amd they took a memories oc you - my support system, and of Reiss being creepy, so maybe it was him?

not really, hard to keep track of who hated us that much, and if wed known the theif wouldve taken those memories too.
whoever it was was active seven months ago, when the robbery took place, we know that. Can we look for a similar pattern in break-ins and see if it points out anyone?

I figure its most likely to be reiss. But i dont know why, just a feeling.

Ask chidori for input maybe? Does she know about reiss? Or what can she tell you about your past? If youre trying to get your memories back i think it'd help to have another party telling you what they remember

Is no one considering it's likely rabies who did this?

>>674126
If Rabies had access to her, wouldn't he just kill her or something?

I dunno, I think maybe it was someone I haven't haven't come into contact with too much recently. Reiss probably has the most motive out of everyone so far, but he had his OS ripped off and stolen as well, so we might have been robbed at the same time. Maybe someone Ne hangs around with?

Currently, suspicion's on Reiss. But he's only talking in emoji right now so, yknow, gotta fix that first.

LISTEN! Here are some things you need to do RIGHT NOW!

1. You need to go to Ne's house and either stop Nanako or MAKE SURE SHE KILLS NE AND NE DOESNT KILL NANAKO. HE LIKELY HAS HIS OWN GUN AND HAS SHOWN TO BE CAUTIOUS.

Ratting on him was a mistake, if he survives, you will have made an enemy for life, and one who has connections with MANY DANGEROUS PEOPLE INCLUDING THE KIND OF THIEVES THAT STOLE YOUR MEMORIES AND BRAIN PARTS.

But if hes dead, YOU WILL HAVE A NEW PLACE TO STAY AND WILL LIKELY HAVE ACCESS TO HIS CONTACTS AND RESOURCES, LEARN MORE ABOUT THE THIEVES IN THE CITY AND MIGHT EVEN BE ABLE TO TAKE HIS PLACE AND GET FUNDS!


2. GET RIESS AND TAKE HIM TO NANAKO'S. Regardless of his state of innocence or guilt, and his personality before or after (literally all that is known is that he was silent at one point and that it was unusual for him) he has shown to not be capable of defending himself and it is known that YOU have enemies who would sure love a mentally handicapped HOSTAGE or MURDER VICTIM to get to YOU. Especially now that you've cut all ties to Ne. IF HE SURVIVES WHERE DO YOU THINK HE IS GOING TO GO?

>>674183
I'm fairly sure its 2late for all this.

Ne was our best lead, but fuck that guy. Fuck that guy so much.

Sweat could have ideas but he's a little... hard to understand.

Ask Chidori for ideas?

I suspect that for some people, black market memories are just advanced lottery tickets with a guaranteed toy consolation prize.

There's just so much people take for granted or don't know what they have. What happens when someone's memory includes the key code to a loot room, but they don't even know what a loot room is?

What if Rabies and/or Reiss found something but were too stupid/apathetic to realize what they had and ended up sharing it with you? According to the intel you have, they certainly didn't seem to care enough for your safety to withhold information that would get you screwed into the center of the earth.

Current prime suspects are Rabies, Reiss and yourself, though probably through a third-party contract, not in person.

Maybe you can search around for hired guns?

Question 1: Was Reiss capable of sending emails through his head before someone ripped off his OS?

Question 2: How certain are you that Reiss' OS is actually ripped off, and he's not just faking it?

FRACTAL 2015/10/15(Thu)20:50 No. 676701 ID: a6f913
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>Question 1: Was Reiss capable of sending emails through his head before someone ripped off his OS?

I mean ... I guess.

>Question 2: How certain are you that Reiss' OS is actually ripped off, and he's not just faking it?

I have to admit I've thought about that. But Reiss was really proud and used to never shut up about like, independence and intelligence and stuff ... I can't imagine him acting like this on purpose, no matter what he was gonna get out of it. I have to help him with pretty much everything. He'd be humiliated.

"Mostly I keep thinking Reiss," I tell Chidori. "Or Rabies, I guess, but it's not really his style." I pause, then slowly reach out to open my beer. "Lately I've even been thinking that maybe I did it to myself."

"Did it to yourself? Why would you do that?"

"To ... make myself tougher, or something. I guess." It's actually kind of okay. I haven't had beer in a while though, and I'm not really used to it. I feel like I'm drinking for the first time - like I'm a teenager or something, and I'm doing something bad. "You know. Get rid of all the stuff I'm scared of, all the times I've been weak."

"I guess that makes sense. In a fucked up way." Chidori's drumming her hands on the tabletop. "I mean, the whole thing's fucked up, so I guess it's not a bad idea to look at all the fucked up options."

"What about you? Do you have any ideas?"

"I dunno. Just the same stuff. Maybe even Ne," she murmurs. "I mean, if he was gonna sell your memories back to you, maybe he was just like... farming you for stuff anyway." She leans back in her chair. "After Nana's done with him we can get a mortician to dig out whatever he Had and see if he's Got any other stuff that belongs to you."

FRACTAL 2015/10/15(Thu)20:50 No. 676702 ID: a6f913
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As if on cue, the door creaks open. Nana shuffles in. She's got blood and little skin bits all over her. "Hey, uh. We've got a little problem."

END CHAPTER 1

http://tgchan.org/kusaba/quest/res/676703.html

..well then.