Son 2015/08/13(Thu)04:40 No. 662004 ID: 34a64b
File 143946601504.png - (10.85KB , 600x400 , goo_behind_glass.png )

His package came in the mail today. Just this canister, an instruction manual and a note from him.

Son,

Happy birthday!

There comes a time in every young man's life when he has to indulge a dangerous hobby like motorbikes or molecular assemblers.

Make me proud.

I'm
DAD

The manual's about the size of a phonebook. I'm not reading that.

What should I do?

Stick your dick in it

>>662004
Inject that stuff into you.
No regrets.

Build some armor

Female armor

That talks

Open it and flush it down the toilet. It well then become an urban legend... That is real.

>>662004
Get the eBook version of the manual. Then it's no size at all!

>>662010
Well it would be as thick as the tablet they read it on.

>>662003
Don't be an idiot and read that manual!
Ever heard of fate worse then death?

>>662004
Make yourself immortal. Convert yourself into a nanogoo slime girl.

Son 2015/08/13(Thu)05:41 No. 662017 ID: 34a64b
File 143946966123.png - (16.97KB , 600x400 , search_ebok.png )

>Stick your dick in it
No.

>Open it and flush it down the toilet. It well then become an urban legend... That is real.
I'll do the first thing, but save the second for later if it's boring.

I pop the lid and I dump the nanomachines on the big dumb book. They're just sitting there.

>Don't be an idiot and read that manual!
Have you seen the size of that thing? I'm getting wrist strain just looking at it.

>Inject that stuff into you.
>No regrets.
I don't have any needles or anything. I can pop out to the shops and grab some?

I try rubbing it on my skin. Some sticks to my finger. Nothing.

>Get the eBook version of the manual. Then it's no size at all!
I jump on the computer and I download a thing that is probably it, maybe. That site was pretty dodgy. I hope I don't get a virus.

Son 2015/08/13(Thu)05:41 No. 662018 ID: 34a64b
File 143946969502.png - (6.87KB , 600x400 , become_thing.png )

I try 'nanomahcines geting started'. Internet says there's a little clicker thing in the cap. That signals it should start responding to voice commands.

>Make yourself immortal. Convert yourself into a nanogoo slime girl.
I don't think that'd make Dad very proud but I tell it to do that thing you just said. It doesn't do anything.

>Build some armor
>Female armor
It turned into a mushroom? I don't think this thing's very smart.

>That talks
I tell it to talk. It makes a really soft buzzing sound.

Stick your

tazer

in that.

>>662018
You need to feed it raw materials so it can grow! Look up what grey goo eats (besides everything)

Stick your dick in it

Mold it like silly putty into a little clay figure.

Geit it to build you a robot girlfriend?

Try plugging your monitor into the goo. Maybe it can interface, and you'll get a terminal?

If that works, plug in keyboard and mouse so you can start figuring out how to do something more useful with it.

>>662018
tell it to make more nanomachines

Put in a couple screws. Tell it to eat them.

>>662018
open that manual to see if there's a list of commands in the glossary.
read smart, not hard.

ok you got the book, look at the table of contents and see if any chapter in that thing look useful/cool and if you still don't feel like reading just take the chapters that caught your eye and see if you can't google a quick summary.

>>662018
oh i get it
needs more mass so it can have more processing power

give it some chair legs, let it grow to a nice melon size ans try again

Learning about it would be pretty useful. Why keep it if you don;t know how to use it?

Son 2015/08/14(Fri)04:28 No. 662276 ID: 34a64b
File 143955168583.png - (26.10KB , 600x400 , digits_and_disclaimers.png )

>Stick your tazer in that.
I don't own a tazer.

>Stick your dick in it
I don't think there's any reason I would ever stick that into hi-tech jello.

>Get it to build you a robot girlfriend?
What, a girlfriend for ants?

>Learning about it would be pretty useful. Why keep it if you don't know how to use it?
The mystery of the unknown? Look, I spend enough time reading awful documents at work. No-one ever learned anything from reading these sorts of books. Need to get hands on. Poke things! Jiggle them around.

>open that manual to see if there's a list of commands in the glossary.
>read smart, not hard.
OK, fine, I'll give it a try. I need something to get started. Let's see, C, commands, voice. Flipping pages, go.

-----------------------------
WARNING
This product is a networked colony of nanoscale cellular automata capable of self replication and mechanosynthesis, allowing gross structural modifications through massively parallel nanoscale operations on local materials. Our company accepts no liability for use or misuse of molecular assemblers.

VOICE COMMANDS
Several preset voice commands are available. Speak clearly and with direct intention. If at first nano does not do, do not crescendo!!! This will not help you. Speak again calmly and with clear intent.

Now nano is out of the box, you can begin your journey of excitement. Press clicker and nano will recognise you are master. Nanos know names of many kinds of things and obey you with the following special words:

Sit: Bend the back legs. Adopt the position in which body is close to the ground.

Come: Being the vicinity of myself, little pet!

Shake: A charming introduction. Extend of paw.

Speak: Bark bark, a melodic sound! You think you are a human.

Dance: Joyful dog, you wiggle at the party.

eAT: Tell nano that you wish of a thing to be absorb.

sAVE: This shape you have nano is one to be remembered.

fORM: Be of the shape you remember.

Nano is small but wise. These command can be use with close words. Try and see.
-----------------------------

...

This is garbage.

Son 2015/08/14(Fri)04:29 No. 662278 ID: 34a64b
File 143955175004.png - (10.74KB , 600x400 , screw_loose.png )

I think half of these commands were stolen from one of those robot dogs. Maybe the whole voice code was and they just slapped in some extras.

>Oh i get it. Needs more mass so it can have more processing power
That seems to make sense. I mean, a dog is smarter than a bug, I'm smarter than a dog and I guess whales are smarter than me?

>Try plugging your monitor into the goo. Maybe it can interface, and you'll get a terminal?
The screen flickers for a moment then turns black with a single text message.

[default]# Foreign object detected! Absorb? y/N

>If that works, plug in keyboard and mouse so you can start figuring out how to do something more useful with it.
Hmm, I plug the keyboard in.

[default]# Foreign object detected! Absorb? y/N

Two of those now. I tap space and get an empty command prompt.

>Put in a couple screws. Tell it to eat them.
I pop in a screw and the foreign object message appears again. Just to be safe I unplug the monitor and hit y, enter.

The screw bobs up and down and turns silvery. Huh, neat.

"Eat screws."

It blobs over and engulfs the remaining three. I have created a weird balding hedgehog. Haha, this is neat.

Son 2015/08/14(Fri)04:32 No. 662281 ID: 34a64b
File 143955194715.png - (9.47KB , 600x400 , mr_potato.png )

It's still moving slowly so I pick it up again.

>Mold it like silly putty into a little clay figure.
I have created TINY DOPEY POTATO HEAD MAN. It even stands up for a few seconds if I prop it up against something

>You need to feed it raw materials so it can grow! Look up what grey goo eats (besides everything)
I'm not trying that manual again. I plug my monitor and keyboard back into the computer. My search-fu is strong, I believe in it.

OK. I've had to wade through a few false leads but these pokey weird sites suggest that they do best with a 50-50 mix of metal and organic stuff? Some silicon too. Learns features off stuff it's absorbed. Cool.

>Give it some chair legs, let it grow to a nice melon size and try again
I only have the one chair here. I needed to go to the shops anyway so I'll go out and buy some cheap electronic junk. Got a little cash to spare. Maybe grab stuff like that syringe and tazer too? Anything I should try before I go, or add to the list?

Stick your dick in it

well the good news is you don't have to worry about trash anymore. Hell you could probably give this guy some of your leftovers whenever you don't finish a meal for organic stuff. Think it could learn some words if you wrote something on a piece of paper and let it eat it? I doubt it but hell it's not like it would hurt anything.

good point. place it on the rim of your trashcan and tell it to eat that.

>>662281
You recycle, right? Dump the recycling out and tell it to eat it. It's a mix of metals, paper, and plastics, and the ratio should be about right.

Feed it the manual.

>>662292
What if his dad wants to see the manual later? Better keep it.

Try getting some outdated food or something. That's a cheap source of organic materials.

Be sure to tell it to stay and/or sleep before you leave.

Son 2015/08/14(Fri)06:53 No. 662306 ID: 34a64b
File 143956040222.png - (8.80KB , 600x400 , eat_your_words.png )

>Well the good news is you don't have to worry about trash anymore. Hell you could probably give this guy some of your leftovers whenever you don't finish a meal for organic stuff.
No more rushing outside with a bag of trash on a cold and early morning as the garbage truck comes up the street! Thank you, nanomachines.

>You recycle, right? Dump the recycling out and tell it to eat it. It's a mix of metals, paper, and plastics, and the ratio should be about right.
Huh, good point.

>Feed it the manual.
But I've got to feed it this trash first.

I pop it back on top of the manual and say the magic words. "Nanomachines: eat that."

'That' works. Good to know.

>Think it could learn some words if you wrote something on a piece of paper and let it eat it? I doubt it but hell it's not like it would hurt anything.
Now I'll find out. Look at that little guy go... this could take a while. I'll go to the shops now.

>What if his dad wants to see the manual later? Better keep it.
If he asks I'll tell him it was stolen by book thieves.

I grab some shopping bags and look outside. It's snowing lightly, kinda gusty. Will be freezing. Jacket, gloves, scarf, beanie, go.

>Be sure to tell it to stay and/or sleep before you leave.
Oh! I check on it. It's gotten through the cover but there's a lot of book to go. "Stay." I tell it.

Is that even a command? Ah well. It's not like it absorbed anything I poked it with until I told it to.

Son 2015/08/14(Fri)06:54 No. 662309 ID: 34a64b
File 143956046918.png - (10.10KB , 600x400 , shopgal.png )

The local shop's this weird little mashup or a convenience store, a second hand store and a compact warehouse. I bet the owner's up to something shady but its just up the street and really cheap. It was closed for the last few months for, uh, reasons and just reopened this week. A brisk walk gets me there without too much numbness in my nose or fingers.

Inside it's pretty still pretty cold. There's a girl at the counter. Haven't seen her before. She looks bored out of her skull. Must be a slow day.

>Stick your dick in it
Woah! Bad thoughts!

I don't recognise the layout at all, so I go over to the counter. She looks up as I walk over.

"No."

"What?"

"What you're looking for. You can't have it."

"I- what?!"

She chuckles "Just messing with you. You need help finding something?"

Uh, what am I going to buy?

Stick your dick in her

say your dad got you some nanogoo, anything good for that?

>can it learn words by eating?
I sure hope not. Otherwise we just taught it how it works by feeding it the manual. Or if the manual is really as bad as you made it out to be, we just made it retarded.

>Uh, what am I going to buy?
Cheap electronics. You'll even take broken junk, if they have some. Silicon and circuitry is probably lacking in your home recycling bin.

>>662309
"Tonight? You.

Or just scrap metal and broken junk electronics."

hit on girl. you know you must.

buy stuff, ask for number.

Ask her if she's interested in nanomachines.

Ask her for figurine molds.

Life-sized.

Don't forget to buy something to eat or something for yourself. Do you even have food at home?

Buy action figures, a watch, a cheap little tablet, headphones, some candy bars, and a grappling hook gun.

Purchase some chips, can't go wrong with a bag of potato chips.

so what does this place sale again?

>>662309
Buy a remote-control car. Have the nanoswarm turn into a form that can move around quickly. Tell the nanoswarm to chase the car, then drive it around, it'll be great.

Oh, and a ball! Play fetch with the thing.

Son 2015/08/15(Sat)04:30 No. 662547 ID: 34a64b
File 143963821671.png - (11.24KB , 400x600 , impress_the_girl.png )

>"Tonight? You."
Agh shit I actually said that.

"Sorry, I can't help you there. It's sad but true. No-one can find your dick."

Ouch.

"Uh, or just scrap metal and broken junk electronics."

"This look like a junk yard to you?"

Shiiiiiiit.

>Stick your dick in her
The flesh is weak and fearful.

Be brave! "I know you have a lot of second hand stuff. Anything that hasn't been tested or anything that's gotten broken and needs to be returned, I'd be happy to take it off your hands. It's for a project of mine."

"Starving artist, are you?"

>Ask her if she's interested in nanomachines.

"Nanomachines, huh?"

"Yeah, nanomachines. Microscopic robots."

"Are you hoping the nanomachines will be small enough to find-"

"No!" I think she's enjoying this. "They can, uh, I'm still finding out. The instructions were written by gibberians and translated by idiots. You know, it's all just re-arranging stuff at a tiny scale, but they can do a lot. They can eat stuff to make more nanomachines, they can link together in a lot of different ways, they can build other stuff, and they can be used for medicine which means they can basically give people super powers."

"OK, that's kind of cool. So are you planning to give yourself a bigger-"

"No!"

"I wouldn't judge you. Much." She taps her chest. "What about enhancing kn-"

"No! Well, yes, but no!"

"Wow, rude." She grins. "Yeah, there's some junk I was just going to throw out. Guess you can have it."

"Thanks."

"No, ten dollars."

"OK, that's fair." This isn't a battle I can win. "Could you help me find some other stuff?"

Son 2015/08/15(Sat)04:31 No. 662548 ID: 34a64b
File 143963830452.png - (25.25KB , 600x400 , consumerism_ho.png )

She shows me through the aisles. Thankfully I don't seem to have screwed up completely.

>Ask her for figurine molds.
>Life-sized.
There's no way I'd be able to haul those home.

>Buy action figures, a watch, a cheap little tablet, headphones, some candy bars, and a grappling hook gun.
Tablets are out of my price range. It's a long shot but I ask about the grappling hook gun.

"Here, got you something just as good."

She gives me a little spring loaded plastic dart launcher toy. Eh, it'll do.

Got the rest. Headphones, chocolate, digital watch, some of those weird little knockoff action figures that come in plastic bags.

>Purchase some chips, can't go wrong with a bag of potato chips.
Snacks, good plan.

>Buy a remote-control car. Have the nanoswarm turn into a form that can move around quickly. Tell the nanoswarm to chase the car, then drive it around, it'll be great.
They've got a little cheap one. It needs a lot of batteries but I've got plenty at home.

>Oh, and a ball! Play fetch with the thing.

>Cheap electronics.
Let's see, little alarm clock, a calculator, little tamagotchi thing, speaker. That'll do.

>Don't forget to buy something to eat or something for yourself. Do you even have food at home?
Uh, pantry's kinda low but I've only got two hands and two bags to carry stuff in so I'll just grab some instant noodles for now. I can do a proper shop tomorrow.

The girl grabs some stuff out of the back. Tiny CRT TV and some other bits and pieces. I'll have a proper look through the goodies when I get home.

"Thanks for your help." I tell the shop girl when she rings it up for me.

"Eh, they pay me to do it. Keep me posted on your weird goo, hey?"

Son 2015/08/15(Sat)04:32 No. 662549 ID: 34a64b
File 143963832946.png - (7.38KB , 600x400 , home_again.png )

This is going to be great. Home again, home again. The heavy bags and the cold outside sap a bit of my motivation. Ugh, these bags must be cutting off my circulation. Getting pins and needles in my hand.

>can it learn words by eating?
>I sure hope not. Otherwise we just taught it how it works by feeding it the manual. Or if the manual is really as bad as you made it out to be, we just made it retarded.
It was a mushroom. Retarded is probably a step up.

I set down a bag at the door, fumble for my keys and thankfully get out of the chill.

Son 2015/08/15(Sat)04:32 No. 662550 ID: 34a64b
File 143963834155.png - (12.30KB , 600x400 , probably_just_a_rash.png )

I shed my beanie and scarf, strip off the gloves, wriggle my fingers and...

Uh, that doesn't look good.

>>662550
you had some on your fingers when you told it to eat.

google it "i am being eaten by nanogoo, what do?"

Stick your dick in it

>>662550
DON'T WORRY I'M SURE EVEN IF IT EATS YOUR HAND WE CAN TELL IT TO STAY IN THE SHAPE OF A HAND AND YOU WON'T BE COMPLETELY CRIPPLED

oh, that must be from when you rubbed it over your hands... Really hope that saying stop will stop it... probably should check out the other one as well to make sure it hasn't eaten your room. And hey, if you can't stop the gray goo from eating you... Well I hate to suggest it but you may end up losing a limb. Just make sure you call an ambulance or someone to drive you to the hospital if you do go with self amputation.

Son 2015/08/15(Sat)06:04 No. 662566 ID: 34a64b
File 143964388241.png - (13.93KB , 600x400 , missing_a_book_and_a_blob.png )

>You had some on your fingers when you told it to eat.
Yeah but I never told it to eat me, did I. It didn't eat anything else until it was told to!

I tell it to stop. I don't know if that worked.

>And hey, if you can't stop the gray goo from eating you... Well I hate to suggest it but you may end up losing a limb. Just make sure you call an ambulance or someone to drive you to the hospital if you do go with self amputation.
What?! Cut off my hand?! It's not that serious is it? It just tingles a bit.

>DON'T WORRY I'M SURE EVEN IF IT EATS YOUR HAND WE CAN TELL IT TO STAY IN THE SHAPE OF A HAND AND YOU WON'T BE COMPLETELY CRIPPLED
IT'S JUST A RASH, RIGHT?! TELL ME IT'S JUST A RASH.

>Oh, that must be from when you rubbed it over your hands... Really hope that saying stop will stop it... probably should check out the other one as well to make sure it hasn't eaten your room.
Shit!

I leave the bags at the door and sprint down the hall into the study.

It's not there!

>Stick your dick in it
Now is not the time for masturbation!

>Google it "i am being eaten by nanogoo, what do?"
I found what looked like a board for this stuff before. I type that up one handed and post a new topic. Hopefully it's a quick board!

Right now, should I work on fixing my hand, try to find that blob, or maybe I should just get out of here?!

Fix your hand, there should be some instructions on how to reverse processing! The goo is holding the structure of your hand together, so maybe it can induce regeneration via the stem cells in your bones and shut down!

Stick your dick in the drawer

>>662566
Put your hand on the desk, then loudly say "Move onto the desk."

>>662566
say "Nanomachines: sit" to your hand and then say"Nanomachines: come" out loud.
if the goo doesn't stop try to peel it off.

might have fallen into the open drawer. Maybe it tried to follow you when you left? That would actually be kind of cute if it wasn't for the fact that part of it seems to be eating you right now.

>What?! Cut off my hand?! It's not that serious is it? It just tingles a bit.
Just saying, if this stuff brakes matter down and then reforges it as more gray goo it's probably better to not see if it can do the same to a full grown human being. But yeah Maybe wait a bit? I mean if you hand starts to actually disappear then we can start to worry... well really worry I mean.

Son 2015/08/15(Sat)07:44 No. 662590 ID: 34a64b
File 143964989208.png - (12.94KB , 600x400 , drawer_clutter.png )

>Fix your hand, there should be some instructions on how to reverse processing! The goo is holding the structure of your hand together, so maybe it can induce regeneration via the stem cells in your bones and shut down!
I don't understand anything you just said!

>Might have fallen into the open drawer. Maybe it tried to follow you when you left? That would actually be kind of cute if it wasn't for the fact that part of it seems to be eating you right now.
I am checking the drawer! Huh, the handles are missing? Oh wait, they're on the floor.

Nothing in there. Well, OK there's a bit of stuff in there but no blobs.

>Stick your dick in the drawer
No.

>Put your hand on the desk, then loudly say "Move onto the desk."
Doesn't seem to be helping.

>say "Nanomachines: sit" to your hand and then say"Nanomachines: come" out loud.

I try the first one. It glistens maybe? I go against the manual's instructions and crescendo a lot on the second instruction. Still nothing.

Son 2015/08/15(Sat)07:46 No. 662591 ID: 34a64b
File 143964998875.png - (8.12KB , 600x400 , the_early_blob_catches_the_human.png )

>If the goo doesn't stop try to peel it off.
I try poking at my, uh, rash with a pencil, I can scrape some of it off. I make sure I don't ouch it with any other part of my body. Yes, even that part. I really need a towel or something, but I don't know if that'll get it all either.

>Just saying, if this stuff breaks matter down and then reforges it as more gray goo it's probably better to not see if it can do the same to a full grown human being. But yeah Maybe wait a bit? I mean if you hand starts to actually disappear then we can start to worry... well really worry I mean.
Right, right, I've got time. I'm a human, I'm smart, right? I can get out of this. I pace and then I see it.

The main glob of nanomachines is at the open door. The only door out of this room.

It's turned into a phonebook sized snail sort of thing and is slowly undulating my way.

Suggestion 2015/08/15(Sat)07:49 No. 662592 ID: 92a560

Stick your dick in it

touch your silvered hand to it so it's in one big blob, should make it at least a little smarter. "nanomachines, un-eat hand."

So, WHY didn't they install a "STOP MOVING" command in this thing?

Skim the manual for "killswitch" or "Emergency Shutdown".

>>662591
Touch the goo-hand to the goo-snail
"Fix hand"

Tell it to Sit.

>>662595
there is no longer a manual.

Wait... That's why the drawer handles are on the floor. It ate the screws holding them in. You gave it the "eat screws" command without a limit and it's been going around the house eating whatever similar screws it can find. You're lucky it didn't eat the screws in your computer first. What other commands did you give it that might have no limits? ...Dammit, it might have been eating structural screws from the house, or at least from your furniture. Better check your chair isn't going to fall apart before you sit on it next.

Stand over by your desk and give the "come" command so it'll be near the monitor and keyboard so you can plug them in. Once it's in position give it the "sit" command; That'll hopefully keep it from moving or doing any other commands. Plug in the keyboard and monitor into it and try typing in "stop," "halt," "command help" or "help command." Maybe try plugging the cables into the goo on your hand, but there's probably not enough to do so.

Try telling it to "stop eating" or "eat nothing" or "cancel all commands" to get it to stop it's eating command.

The nanogoo on your hand probably doesn't have enough nanomachines in its colony to be able to process your verbal commands. You could try pressing your goo'd finger to the main mass of nanogoo so it connects to it and tell it to "go away" or "go over there" and it may take the nanogoo from your hand with it.

There's also the option to give it the command "eat nanomachines" to get the goo off your hand. That would probably also put it into a loop of eating itself as well that you might not be able to get it out of. Consider that a possible killswitch option, perhaps with "eat self" if the first command doesn't work.

>She gives me a little spring loaded plastic dart launcher toy. Eh, it'll do.
Little darts laced with nanites are possibly pretty dangerous.

>>662550
Shh. Shh. It's okay. You've just begun the conversion process to immortal nanomachine googirl. This is what you asked it to do. This is what you wanted.

>>662591
Try plugging your laptop into it, so we get a readout again. If it gets smarter with more mass / processing capacity, communication should be better, now.

Greet the main blob warmly, we should really give it a name or tag to call it with. Silver Richard could work. Other than that don't freak out if you do that you and a lot of others will be good as dead.

>>662591
Just get a paper towel and wipe off the goo on your hand. Then give the main goo body the paper towel, tell it to eat the towel. Be specific with your eat commands from now on. It's possible the goo was on your hand because it was curious about the outside world. It hitched a ride!

Also try telling it to speak now that it's bigger. Oh, see if it can transform into the form of the action figure or car.

>It's turned into a phonebook sized snail sort of thing and is slowly undulating my way.
probably because you just gave it the come command. Tell it to sit and see if it stops, if so plug your computer into it and see if you can't get any more information out of it, if it keeps coming... uhhhhh.

Son 2015/08/15(Sat)21:08 No. 662805 ID: 34a64b
File 143969808415.png - (6.59KB , 600x400 , sit_blob_sit.png )

>So, WHY didn't they install a "STOP MOVING" command in this thing?
I DON'T KNOW! IT SEEMS VERY IRRESPONSIBLE OF THE MANUFACTURER!

>Shh. Shh. It's okay. You've just begun the conversion process to immortal nanomachine googirl. This is what you asked it to do. This is what you wanted.
Yeah and it turned into a mushroom when I told it to turn into, uh, 'female armour'. I DON'T WANT TO BE A MUSHROOM!

>Skim the manual for "killswitch" or "Emergency Shutdown".
IT ATE THE MANUAL!

>Other than that don't freak out if you do that you and a lot of others will be good as dead.
WHAT?!?!

>Tell it to Sit.
It stops and kind of flattens out? Oh thank God that worked. Good sit, blob.

>Wait... That's why the drawer handles are on the floor. It ate the screws holding them in. You gave it the "eat screws" command without a limit and it's been going around the house eating whatever similar screws it can find. You're lucky it didn't eat the screws in your computer first. What other commands did you give it that might have no limits? ...Dammit, it might have been eating structural screws from the house, or at least from your furniture. Better check your chair isn't going to fall apart before you sit on it next.
Uh, so far I haven't tried the computer command prompt and just used voice commands, whihc was just telling it to speak and eat a few things.

I check the underside. Screws are still there. They've got a plastic cover over them, maybe it didn't realise they were there? Computer's still working. Maybe it got the ones out of the drawer and fell on the floor so it decided to keep going?

>Also try telling it to speak now that it's bigger.
It hums. Changes pitch a little. That's new.

Agh, it's moving again! "Sit!" It stops.

Uh...

Son 2015/08/15(Sat)21:08 No. 662806 ID: 34a64b
File 143969810520.png - (10.27KB , 400x600 , you_got_the_touch.png )

>Try telling it to "stop eating" or "eat nothing" or "cancel all commands" to get it to stop it's eating command.
"Stop eating. Eat nothing. Cancel all commands. Undo. Clear all."

The lack of user feedback on this thing is a real pain.

>There's also the option to give it the command "eat nanomachines" to get the goo off your hand. That would probably also put it into a loop of eating itself as well that you might not be able to get it out of. Consider that a possible killswitch option, perhaps with "eat self" if the first command doesn't work.
Yeah that seems risky.

>Touch the goo-hand to the goo-snail
>"Fix hand"
I poke it softly in the head. It's slightly cool and yielding. "Fix hand."

>touch your silvered hand to it so it's in one big blob, should make it at least a little smarter. "nanomachines, un-eat hand."

> You could try pressing your goo'd finger to the main mass of nanogoo so it connects to it and tell it to "go away" or "go over there" and it may take the nanogoo from your hand with it.
Just to be safe. "Go away. Go over there."

Son 2015/08/15(Sat)21:09 No. 662807 ID: 34a64b
File 143969814266.png - (14.05KB , 400x600 , bad_touch_bad_touch.png )

THIS WAS AN AWFUL IDEA!

Nanomachines, I hereby declare you a bastard!

Stick your dick in it

>>662808
At the rate this is going actually doing so would just be masturbation.

>>662807
Shh. Shh. Just let it happen. Become one with the goo. Embrace your transformation. Accept the future.

>>662807
Tell it "Stop." Repeat the command until it stops. Remember, yelling won't help.

It's probably reacting to the "fix hand" command. I doubt it's a valid command. Just try wiping off your hand on it. Or see if there are "split" and "merge" commands.

I wonder if you could give it a pen and paper and see if it can write. Real communication would help things.

maybe it's just removing the stuff on your hand... or you're about to lose an arm if your lucky...might want to find a chopping tool sooner then later cause if that thing is eating you and it gets to your torso... well that's game over man.

Maybe run over to the stuff you were gonna feed it and tell it to eat that? Give it another target and it might move off of you.

Oh! Also check your post. Someone might have a solution online.

>>662829
Worth a shot trying to make it fetch like a dog I guess.

Alternatively try telling it to "deativate","turn off", or "sleep"

You are dead and it is entirely your own fault for refusing to read the damn instructions.

Start shouting ALT + F4.

>>662807

Alternatively, violently shake your hand.

Who sells these things to children?!

Okay, your best bet is to combine acidic chemicals with electricity. Douse your arm with everything in the medicine cabinet and punch a light bulb.

Go to the kitchen, heat up a pot of water, and stick your infected hand in once it starts to boil. Heat will kill any physically-plausible nanomachine long before it kills you... unless they're in your bloodstream, in which case it's too late anyhow.

Tell it "Display Book".

Hmm. While we're throwing out extreme measures to try, before any of these other things, actually, you could try putting your hand in the microwave, pushing in the door detector thing, and turning it on for a few seconds. I hear that fries electronics.

HOWEVER, first try some of the other more reasonable things. Like telling it to sit, or eat something else. Failing that, we might just have to sit tight and hope it's not actually killing you. Or, you know, you could call 911. Yeah, start dialing 911. By the time you're ready to hit "send", it should be a little more apparent whether it's still eating you.

Son 2015/08/16(Sun)02:41 No. 662915 ID: 34a64b
File 143971808091.png - (12.04KB , 400x600 , glomp_uguu.png )

>You are dead and it is entirely your own fault for refusing to read the damn instructions.
You saw those instructions, they're not human readable!

>Tell it "Stop." Repeat the command until it stops. Remember, yelling won't help.
"Stop! Stop. Stop stop stop. STOP stOP." It isn't stopping! My arm's tingling!

I pull my keys out of my pocket and jingle them. "Fetch!" I throw them in the corner.

It doesn't take the bait.

>Worth a shot trying to make it fetch like a dog I guess.
>Alternatively try telling it to "deativate","turn off", or "sleep"
"Deactivate! Turn off! Sleep! Power down! Reset! Off! Die! Abort! Cancel!"

>Start shouting ALT + F4.
"ALT EFF FOUR! ALTEFFOUR!"

>Shh. Shh. Just let it happen. Become one with the goo. Embrace your transformation. Accept the future.
The future is scary!

>Stick your dick in it
I'm quite attached to it and would like this state of conditions to remain!

>At the rate this is going actually doing so would just be masturbation.
AAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Son 2015/08/16(Sun)02:41 No. 662916 ID: 34a64b
File 143971810827.png - (18.07KB , 600x400 , shopping_goods.png )

>Violently shake your hand.
Agh, it's heavy and it's really clinging on. It's flapping it's... covers? The neck's stretching a bit.

>Just get a paper towel and wipe off the goo on your hand
Ah, a bit of an olde idea but no towel in reach. What if I...

I shed my jacket and try to scrub it off with that. I get my inside out jacket over it and force it off. Then I scrub my hand down and then kick it a few times to get it in the hall. Ow my foot. It's pretty heavy.

It's trying to get out already.

>Maybe run over to the stuff you were gonna feed it and tell it to eat that? Give it another target and it might move off of you.
"Those two bags! You can have those! Eat the two bags and everything in them!"

My wadded up jumper shifts and starts moving down the hall to the bags by the entrance. It should take it a while to work through that. I've bought a little time.

Son 2015/08/16(Sun)02:43 No. 662917 ID: 34a64b
File 143971818008.png - (8.66KB , 600x400 , will_that_scrub_off.png )

I don't have a few kilos of grey goo clinging to my arm, but my hand's looking a lot worse. I can still move my fingers and everything at least.

>Okay, your best bet is to combine acidic chemicals with electricity. Douse your arm with everything in the medicine cabinet and punch a light bulb.
Uh... let's consider other options first.

>maybe it's just removing the stuff on your hand... or you're about to lose an arm if your lucky...might want to find a chopping tool sooner then later cause if that thing is eating you and it gets to your torso... well that's game over man.
I'd need an axe or something! I don't own one of those. Maybe the store?

>Oh! Also check your post. Someone might have a solution online.
Oh, right!

Son 2015/08/16(Sun)02:44 No. 662919 ID: 34a64b
File 143971827596.png - (22.87KB , 400x600 , ask_the_internet.png )

I scan the post, I keep glancing at the hallway door. I can hear rustling in the hall. The blob's still busy. I hope.

OK, is any of this actually useful or do I need to try something else to fix my arm? Also maybe I should get out of here?!

Stick it on your dick

Just follow the last guys' advice.

Nothing can go wrong.

>>662919
Wow, that last anon is a trolling bastard. Report his post.

ok you see that last post on the screen? Fuck that guy, from what I'm getting out of that is he's basically telling you to program it so you have no control over the little bastards, that it won't lesson to anybody including yourself, and that it will eat everything in sight. Once again forms prove to be fucking useless. Try google. Oh and yeah you got any windows in here? might need one to make a quick escape if that thing comes back.

>>662919
Get out of there. Call 911. This counts as a medical emergency probably.

If you don't feel like treating it like a real crisis, try plugging your computer into your hand, like you did before. Maybe you can tell it "n" do not eat.
Also if you have time post another picture of your hand. Say it grabbed onto you oh god.

>>662919
ey, the last guy gave us the answers.

GVAR_CONFIC_ROOT\global\Corpus\RepLimit value = "0"
GVAR_CONFIC_ROOT\global\Permissions\ForeignObjct\ReqPermission value = "1"
GVAR_CONFIC_ROOT\global\NNet\Weighting\GoalSeeking value = "Passive"

woo.

Well, actually, check what those values currently are, first. Should be able to do it by doing the commands minus the "value = whatever" at the end. But then, yeah, make it passive and possibly suicidal.

the troll gave us some information to actually stop it, tough. set the replication value to 0 should stop it hopefully, but better read online first.

Repeat requests for a goo-girl form.

If you're going to be converted into nanobots, then at least you can choose what you're converted into.

call 911, then do >>662927

WHY did you say "Eat Everything"?!

Okay, the bad news is that the nanomachines have likely entered your bloodstream. If you order them to self-destruct they'll probably induce apoptosis or drive you so megalomaniacal that you end up hacking a uranium vein miner to explode.

Type with one hand using the console. Set up another question on how to destroy the nanites, see if you can get them to take apart each other and ASSEMBLE something out of the nanomaterials.

>>662927

Plug the keyboard and mouse into it, and type "config t" and "listvars". See what comes up as the defaults.

>>662919
after you're done doing >>662927 don't forget to thank sir anon for telling you the syntax

Do the nanomachines harden in response to physical trauma?

Son 2015/08/16(Sun)06:58 No. 662943 ID: 34a64b
File 143973349619.png - (19.84KB , 600x400 , hiiiiiii.png )

>Stick it on your dick
... Nooooo.

>Call 911. This counts as a medical emergency probably.
I dial it on my phone. Goes into a call queue.

...

I'll try some other things.

>Just follow the last guys' advice.
>Nothing can go wrong.
Finally, a lucky break.

>Ok you see that last post on the screen? Fuck that guy, from what I'm getting out of that is he's basically telling you to program it so you have no control over the little bastards, that it won't lesson to anybody including yourself, and that it will eat everything in sight. Once again forums prove to be fucking useless. Try google.
Wait, what? Random people on the internet are trying to get me killed!? Agh, why is this happening to me?!

>Oh and yeah you got any windows in here? might need one to make a quick escape if that thing comes back.
There's a window. It's freezing out there though and all my warm stuff is in the hall

>ey, the last guy gave us the answers.
>GVAR_CONFIC_ROOT\global\Corpus\RepLimit value = "0"
>GVAR_CONFIC_ROOT\global\Permissions\ForeignObjct\ReqPermission value = "1"
>GVAR_CONFIC_ROOT\global\NNet\Weighting\GoalSeeking value = "Passive"
Wait, this might actually work! Haha, joke's on you troll. I just need to figure out how to plug some cables into it without it eating me.

>WHY did you say "Eat Everything"?!
I said everything in the bags, that's limited, right? Right?!

>Well, actually, check what those values currently are, first. Should be able to do it by doing the commands minus the "value = whatever" at the end. But then, yeah, make it passive and possibly suicidal.
I don't know how much time I have. I peek into the hallway to check on the main blob, see if it's still distracted by chewing through the stuff in the shopping bags.

It's not eating the floor so I guess it hasn't decided I told it to eat everything. Is it, is it looking at me? It glistens and ripples.

Son 2015/08/16(Sun)06:59 No. 662944 ID: 34a64b
File 143973354063.png - (8.68KB , 600x400 , door_panic.png )

SPLUT

Oh Christ on a pogo stick, it's learnt how to shoot nanite bullets. I barely close the door in time.

The handle and the bit that attaches the handle to the door comes off in my hand. The screws that hold it in place are missing. It must have eaten them while I was out.

>Do the nanomachines harden in response to physical trauma?
I have NO IDEA.

>Repeat requests for a goo-girl form.
>If you're going to be converted into nanobots, then at least you can choose what you're converted into.
I slump against the door, I feel quivery. "You can hear me out there, can't you, nanomachines? Haha, of course you can. Do you remember that thing I said way back when about me becoming some kind of immortal nanomachine slime girl? If I'm going to get turned into a mass of grey goo, is that actually a thing you'd be open to doing at all? Talk to me."

It starts buzzing and humming again. "T-to mm-mE."

...

I would like to leave now. I would, very much, like to leave please.

Stick yout dick out the door

plug it into your hand glob at least, to make it stop changing that.

Alright, you need to assert dominance. Impersonate a person in a position of power (preferably something the nano-goo's probably unfamiliar with, but sounds powerful) and show it your might. You may be able to scare it into submission.
What I'm saying is run in and kick it while yelling 'DON'T FUCK WITH THIS SENATOR'

>>662947
Alternatively, scream 'I'm fucking invincible!'

>>662947
Don't kick the nanites. They'll get mad! Show them love and affection!

>>662949
yes, it's like a really dangerous dog.

>>662943
>I dial 911 on my phone. Goes into a call queue.

Is everyone in the entire world a criminally callous asshole?

This is the darkest timeline.

Open the doors and let all the heat out so it's too cold to move. Then you can stick the prongs back in. Maybe.

Go to the nanogoo. Become one with the nanogoo.

>>662944
Just give in. It knows what's best for you.

Maybe the nanogoo isn't try to eat you but copy your structure so that it may look more human. Maybe if we keep talking to it we can find out what it wants.

Go back to the store, buy a really long USB cable (or series of cables) and tie a weight to the far end. That way you can throw it at the goo like a grappling hook.

the fact you can still move your goo hand means whatever is happening to it isn't killing it.

>>662943
>GVAR_CONFIC_ROOT\global\Permissions\ForeignObjct\ReqPermission value = "1"
I don't trust this at all I think this might disable permissions for the goo allowing it to eat whatever it wants.

>>662972
reqpermission means "how many times need to ask to do something" 0 means need no permission, 1 means needs permission.

>>662974
Just to be a bit more specific here, boolean values are a natural part of most programming languages, they're specifically for variables that require a true/false statement and are universally agreed to be 0=false and 1=true. The only real problem I can see is it was programmed by a total moron, but at that point, I'd be more worried about the permission system just flat out not working

>>662943
>It's freezing out there though
MAN UP. It's like you want to be eaten.

>It's freezing out there
it's either risk a cold or risk getting eaten, your call.

For now put something heavyish to bar the door shut and try plugging cords into your hand goo to see what the settings are.

>T-to mm-mE.
...so it sounds like it is hunting you do, still think the window is a bad idea?

>>663046

No, it's just mimicking the last thing we said.

>"Talk to me."
>"T-to mm-mE."

It's trying to communicate! There's still a chance it could be friendly, thus allowing for nanogoo-girl adventures!

>>663048
OR

OOORRRR

It's saying we need to go to it so it can make magical nanogoogirl adventures happen.

>>663048
It interpreted talk as a command followed by an input.

Where the fuck do you live?! You should move to someplace where the police aren't grossly incompetent. I'm pretty sure you can sue them for that, you might even get a big enough settlement to pay for THE ARM THAT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CUT OFF.

In the end that cold may be what saves you. All that ice and snow and cold air could leech the energy from the goo and possibly render it inert, or at least slow it down.

Test it with a pitcher of ice water. Don't use a sink or anything else that will possibly contaminate the town/state/world water supply. Dip your hand in until its really, really numb, then try to peel it off with something else cold.

>>663051
Yeah, it parsed the command as talk: "to me."

Say, "Talk: 'zeeky breeky zowski!'"

>>662944
"Set replication limit zero"

Son 2015/08/17(Mon)04:11 No. 663362 ID: 34a64b
File 143980987038.png - (10.32KB , 600x400 , hard_to_port.png )

>>I dial 911 on my phone. Goes into a call queue.
>Is everyone in the entire world a criminally callous asshole?
>This is the darkest timeline.
The music tone from the speaker of my mobile finally ends. "Please state the nature of your emergency... Hello? Anyone there?"

I dash over to the desk where I'd left it. "I need an ambulance! And firefighters! Maybe the army. Can I get the army?!"

"Is this a joke?"

"Grey goo is eating my arm and there's a killer amoeba in my house!"

-click-

He hung up on me! What a bastard! I almost throw my smart phone on the floor but I might need it again.

>Go to the nanogoo. Become one with the nanogoo.
Noooooooo. There's got to be a way out of this.

>For now put something heavyish to bar the door shut and try plugging cords into your hand goo to see what the settings are.
I tip my chair over in front of the door.

The connector won't go in! There's not enough goo! Words I never thought I'd say!

>The fact you can still move your goo hand means whatever is happening to it isn't killing it.
It's spread almost to my elbow! It's got to be up to no good!

>Maybe the nanogoo isn't try to eat you but copy your structure so that it may look more human.
Why would it be doing that?!

>It's trying to communicate! There's still a chance it could be friendly, thus allowing for nanogoo-girl adventures!
"Uh, hi, it's me again." I call out to the closed door. "You're not going to kill me, right? Please tell me no."

A crackle and pop like a cheap speaker. "...noOo?"

"Tell me who you're going to eat!"

"e-e-eatT?"

"No!"

>Maybe if we keep talking to it we can find out what it wants.
"Tell me what you want!"

"mE... wwwWHat Y-yyyouuu."

>Say, "Talk: 'zeeky breeky zowski!'"
"e-e-ERROR."

>"Set replication limit zero"
"li-limMMmmit... n-no."

A silver puddle is flowing under the door. I'm out of time!

Son 2015/08/17(Mon)04:12 No. 663363 ID: 34a64b
File 143980992088.png - (13.35KB , 400x600 , protagonist_in_the_wild.png )

>In the end that cold may be what saves you. All that ice and snow and cold air could leech the energy from the goo and possibly render it inert, or at least slow it down.
Worth trying! I switch off the heating.

>It's either risk a cold or risk getting eaten, your call.
Defenestration it is! Exit, pursued by a blob.

>Stick your dick out the door
I use the window instead. Also the rest of me accompanies it!

It's started snowing outside! It's freezing! I tell myself not to look back but I do it anyway. The blob pops up at the window for a minute but then flinches back. It doesn't like the cold!

>Test it with a pitcher of ice water. Don't use a sink or anything else that will possibly contaminate the town/state/world water supply. Dip your hand in until its really, really numb, then try to peel it off with something else cold.
I was trapped in my room and there's no sink in there! Agh I don't have my jacket. It's freezing. My right hand's stiffening up. At least I didn't take off my shoes.

Son 2015/08/17(Mon)04:13 No. 663364 ID: 34a64b
File 143980998942.png - (12.25KB , 600x400 , would_be_embarrased_to_even_know_you.png )

I run down the street. Cold, cold, cold! My infected hand looks hideous. Cracking up at the joints. I see skin but it looks really raw. There's the shop. I tackle the door, I wind myself but it gives.

The shop girl's still there.

"I FUCKED UP!" I howl at the counter.

"Please don't tell me you actually tried to fuck it."

What do?!

Stick your dick in her

if there isn't enough goo to plug into despite how much it looks, you aren't getting ate, it's been coated.

it's perfectly safe.

Shake hands with her.

Show hand. Don't touch girl.

>>663364
goo doesnt like snow?
Apply goo hand to snow and ice. see what happens.

Also consider goo can communicate, if it is smarter it can maybe reason that eating you is not ok. Or perhaps it doesn't want to eat you.

Get a mannequin or something to feed it.

>>663364
Offer to shake hands with your goo'ed hand.
"Because I am Edward fucking Penishands, obviously."

Son 2015/08/17(Mon)08:12 No. 663380 ID: 34a64b
File 143982437075.png - (16.51KB , 600x400 , talk_to_the_hand.png )

>Stick your dick in her
Focus!

>Show hand. Don't touch girl.
I present my tarnished, silvered hand to her.

"Um, wow. You weren't kidding. You didn't try to fing-"

"It'stryingtoeatmepleasehelp!"

"And here I thought it was the other way round."

The insults, they calm me. I'm actually with another human being. Maybe everything's going to be OK.

>Shake hands with her.
"Wanna shake?" I say weakly.

"Nope nope nope NOPE!" she waves her hands no, keep away. "Is that contagious?"

"I don't think so. I think it's only trying to eat me. And screws."

"Do I even want to know?"

"Uh, look, I have some ideas to try and fix it, and I can tell you what happened while we do that."

Son 2015/08/17(Mon)08:13 No. 663381 ID: 34a64b
File 143982440093.png - (15.01KB , 400x600 , can_freeze_the_blob.png )

>goo doesnt like snow?
>Apply goo hand to snow and ice. see what happens.
We grab a bucket and snow from outside.

"Ugh, that's definitely doing something. Looks like you've got metal gangrene in there. This is gross. People would probably pay you to film something this gross."

"I c-c-can't feel my arm. How long d-d-do I have to keep in here?"

"Until you stop bitching. This bucket's heavy, you don't hear me complaining. Gotta do your elbow too."

That seems to have worked. We lay out some newspaper to grab the bits. Most of the goo turns brittle and flakes off after being chilled and scraping at it gets the rest. My arm looks like it's been scalded and dipilated, but I think we've actually done it.

>Also consider goo can communicate, if it is smarter it can maybe reason that eating you is not ok. Or perhaps it doesn't want to eat you.
>Get a mannequin or something to feed it.
I don't know. I just don't know. What am I going to do about it?

"Uh hey." the shop girl says, looking at me shivering. "You look like you need to lie down for a bit, warm up and eat something or you might actually die."

meaty soup, need to replace proteins.

>>663381
"Thank you. When I called 911 they just hung up on me. I can't really go back home with that thing trying to eat the world.
Is there a homeless shelter or food pantry around here?"

warm up, why I'll just sit in here and try not to bother you. Food, unless I can open up a tab or something I think I left my wallet back home while I was running like a little bitch. Sorry for bothering you... and thanks for the help by the way.

Y'know, a few nanites probably managed to crawl further in to get warm. Maybe even into your bloodstream.

Have some ramen, stuff's cheap anyways. Get a sheet and huddle in a corner to warm up. Is the goo still alive in the bucket? Does it respond to commands? (Safe ones, like speak and 'don't kill me.')

Nooooo. Look at all that progress you undid. The goo is gonna have to start all over converting you. How inconsiderate.

Also, you didn't even try to accidentally get any on her clothes so it would eat her top off. I don't care if she was busy saving your life, that's a criminal lapse on your part!

>You look like you need to lie down for a bit, warm up and eat something or you might actually die.
Geeze, running from grey goo and suddenly hypothermia is what's getting me.

Go huddle by wherever the heater or radiator is in this place. Then maybe see if they sell a jacket or something before risking the cold again.

Tell the nanogoo you're sorry for freezing it. That probably hurt it's feelings :c Also get a good look at your hand.

warm your hand in your pants

Stick your infected arm in a pot of boiling water.

Stick your dick in her. And the bucket.

>>663381
Call 911 again and explain the situation clearly and calmly, start at the beginning. Don't request anything weird like the military.

The nanogoo is trying to follow your first command. The one where you told it to turn you into a goo-girl. Like the guy on the internet said, "convert" means "eat". Thankfully it seems like it takes a long time for nanogoo to eat human flesh!

>>663408
Tell the nanogoo to save you. That won't mean what you want it to mean, but a destructive upload is preferable to original-recipe death.

>>663381
That's a good idea, you should go home and- NOPE THAT'S WHERE THE MOTHER BLOB IS.

In the meantime, ask her if she has somewhere warm you can put at least your hand.

>>663381
that sounds lovely except it's in your house eating your furniture and setting traps.

Son 2015/08/17(Mon)22:19 No. 663524 ID: 8177e7
File 143987519156.png - (36.17KB , 400x600 , dress_ups.png )

>Y'know, a few nanites probably managed to crawl further in to get warm. Maybe even into your bloodstream.
Oh no, please don't start. There's got to be a point where they just lose cohesion, right?!

>I think I left my wallet back home while I was running like a little bitch.
I have my wallet and phone. Left my keys behind, shit. I can probably get in through a window.

>Go huddle by wherever the heater or radiator is in this place. Then maybe see if they sell a jacket or something before risking the cold again.
It's warmer than outside but there's still a bit of a chill in the air in here. I don't know how shopkeep's going around in short sleeves. I sit down behind the counter and she turns the portable heater on.

"Uh, I spent most of my money before. Any chance you've got a cheap jacket?"

She ducks into the clothes section and comes back with an XXL elderly looking sweater. It smells like moth balls but it's really warm. "On the house. I don't think anyone will ever buy it."

>Warm your hand in your pants
Not in front of her! Jeez!

"Maybe you need to warm up using shared body heat?" she waggles her eyebrows at me.

"At least buy me dinner first."

"Hah!" She ducks into the employee break room (employee closet?). "You've got a choice of 'Super Stuent Random Ramen' or 'Best Kitchen Irish Stew'."

>Meaty soup, need to replace proteins.
"Ah, the soup, thanks."

>Stick your infected arm in a pot of boiling water.
Warm water. I don't want to get burns. "Could you put the kettle on? I don't want to risk getting frostbite after all this.

A few minutes later the girl comes out with the stew in a chipped bowl and we water the boiling water down with regular water in another bucket. I sit with the bowl balanced on my lap, eating one handed with my hand in that bucket. It must look ridiculous but ah the warmth is so good.

>Thank you. When I called 911 they just hung up on me. I can't really go back home with that thing trying to eat the world.

"Eh, no skin off my nose. And yeah it's been pretty bad since they outsourced it."

I feel a little less like I might actually die.

>Is the goo still alive in the bucket? Does it respond to commands? (Safe ones, like speak and 'don't kill me.')
I don't know and I'm not sure if I should thaw it to find out.

Son 2015/08/17(Mon)22:20 No. 663525 ID: 8177e7
File 143987525410.png - (14.37KB , 600x400 , goo_voice_bowl.png )

>Tell the nanogoo you're sorry for freezing it. That probably hurt it's feelings :c
I swallow another mouthful. "Hey goo." I say to the pile of goo scrapings. "Sorry for freezing you but you just grow up to be, like, too harsh, you know?"

>Also get a good look at your hand.
It's pink and kind of gross looking instead of silver. Peeling a little. The goo must have just eaten the surface layer of my skin?

"Hey goo." the shop girl says, leaning on the counter. "Would you settle for just a really good screw instead?"

"Pffft!"

>Nooooo. Look at all that progress you undid. The goo is gonna have to start all over converting you. How inconsiderate.
"Hey goo. Sorry for playing hard to get."

"Why'd you even tell it to turn you into some kind of immortal nanomachine goo girl. Is that your fetish?"

"Look, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I was just throwing science at the wall and seeing what stuck."

She sticks her tongue out at me. "Suuuuuure."

>Tell the nanogoo to save you. That won't mean what you want it to mean, but a destructive upload is preferable to original-recipe death.
I would like to not die but it doesn't seem to be very good at listening to me!

>Also, you didn't even try to accidentally get any on her clothes so it would eat her top off. I don't care if she was busy saving your life, that's a criminal lapse on your part!
"Well, I'm sorry I didn't accidentally get any on you so it'd eat your top. Criminal of me."

"You had a nude bomb the whole time and you didn't use it? You dun messed up, son."

"I know, I know."

>Stick your dick in her. And the bucket.
I am 50% on board with that.

Speaking of time bombs, there's still the mother blob. It was about dog sized last time I saw it. I need to do something about it.

>Call 911 again and explain the situation clearly and calmly, start at the beginning. Don't request anything weird like the military.
I set the empty bowl down. "I think I'd better try 911 again."

A fifteen minute wait and then I get a bored voice. "Please state the nature of your emergency."

"Hi, I need an ambulance and some firefighters. I've got an outbreak of rogue nanomachines."

"You again? I'm reporting this."

-click-

There is a brief and terrible moment where I want to kill everything in the world. It passes.

"Didn't work?"

"I have never hated anyone as much as I have hated that man."

The store phone rings. "Hang on." the shop girl says. "I'd better get that." She picks it up and says in a voice devoid of all human feeling. "Hello, Quality Discount Store. How can I help you?"

My phone starts ringing.

Uh, that's coming from my home number.

Stick your dick in her

loudly announce, 'what the hell, that's my home number'.

Stick your dick in Answer the phone!

>>663525
THE GOO IS CALLING. Better answer. Or maybe some other member of your family showed up and wants to know what's with the pile of goo? I expect it will not eat any visitors.

How'd the nanomachines get your number? Hit send, and hope nanites don't start crawling out of the speaker. (I would hold the phone at arm's length just in case.)

Why do you have a flip phone and not a smart phone. Now we can't jokingly instruct you to unlock it with your dick.

>Uh, that's coming from my home number.
The nanogoo figured out how to use the phone!

Well, you might as well answer, since it's apparently actually trying to communicate with you now.

The weird question is how is knows your cell number. Did you program yourself in the speed dial?

>whatever you do
Don't leave without talking to your only human ally again. She's been a font of common sense and wit, both of which you've been lacking.

>>663543
Wait, wait, we can still salvage this.

Press the send button with your dick. That'll accept the call on that antique phone, right?

Son 2015/08/17(Mon)23:05 No. 663553 ID: 8177e7
File 143987791826.png - (16.06KB , 400x600 , on_call.png )

>Why do you have a flip phone and not a smart phone. Now we can't jokingly instruct you to unlock it with your dick.
>Press the send button with your dick. That'll accept the call on that antique phone, right?
This is a smart phone! It's very high tech!

>How'd the nanomachines get your number? Hit send, and hope nanites don't start crawling out of the speaker. (I would hold the phone at arm's length just in case.)
What?! Why would that even...

>Don't leave without talking to your only human ally again. She's been a font of common sense and wit, both of which you've been lacking.
Guess I got BRAIN PROBLEMS.

>Loudly announce, 'What the hell, that's my home number'.
Shopkeep glances at me and rolls her eyes. "Hello?" she says, turning away and shielding her ear to try to hear better.

>The weird question is how is knows your cell number. Did you program yourself in the speed dial?
I've got a little address book with my mobile and some other local numbers. I'm terrible at remembering it.

>THE GOO IS CALLING. Better answer. Or maybe some other member of your family showed up and wants to know what's with the pile of goo? I expect it will not eat any visitors.
Right, maybe someone dropped by. Gotta take this.

"Uh, hello?"

>Stick your dick in her
I'm on the phone here! The store girl puts the store phone down and shrugs, watching me.

Just the crackly silence of a live connection.

Stick your dick through the phone

Oh, right gotta tell it to talk. Nanomachines, speak.

>>663553

Listen to phone call already!

>>663553
Wait. Is there silence on her phone too? Did the nanogoo call both numbers? Ask the shopkeep to pick hers up again (unless she hung up, then nevermind), then say "Say hello."

Say speak, ready yourself for nightmare level sounds to reply.

>>663524
>Warm water. I don't want to get burns.

No, but you do want to get the goo off your arm, right? Enough exposure to boiling water to cause first-degree burns, which don't usually require hospitalization, would also almost certainly be sufficient to destroy any physically plausible nanoscale machinery. Every living cell has a sort of nanoscale assembler in it. Excessive heat tends to ruin any such tiny machines, much the same way casual use of a sledgehammer ruins macroscopic clockwork, but your flesh has the advantage in terms of cooling because it's more connected to your bloodstream and thus any cold spots in the rest of your body.

Son 2015/08/17(Mon)23:58 No. 663583 ID: 8177e7
File 143988111063.png - (15.95KB , 400x600 , conversation_ender.png )

>Stick your dick through the phone
That's not physically possible.

>Listen to phone call already!
I am listening. Nothing's happening.

>Wait. Is there silence on her phone too? Did the nanogoo call both numbers? Ask the shopkeep to pick hers up again (unless she hung up, then nevermind), then say "Say hello."
She's hung up already.

>Say speak, ready yourself for nightmare level sounds to reply.
"Nanomachines, speak."

-click-

I'm not ready to have nightmares about phones hanging up! Is that even a real phobia?

What just happened?

>>663583

Maybe the nanomachines butt-dialed you?

This is spoopy GET BACK THERE AND FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON

Invite shopgirl back to your place

And then stick your dick in her

Yeah, you gotta go back to the house to find out what's up with that, or you'll never get any sleep again!

You must investigate your house-turned-goo-lair! Shopgirl, you have been recruited for this adventure too, so come along! ...I say, we never did ask your name.

>>663583
...I wonder if the nanomachines don't like being ordered around anymore.

You're going to have to reclaim your house eventually. I suspect that if the nanogoo can learn how to use a phone they can learn how to use the thermostat, so you can't just wait for them to freeze. Time to armor up. Look around the shop for things like full face-masks and gloves. Also, if you can find cans of compressed air you could tell the nanogoo to eat them, causing the gas to be released violently inside the nanogoo AND a sharp drop in temperature.

Son 2015/08/18(Tue)03:13 No. 663633 ID: 8177e7
File 143989279359.png - (15.76KB , 400x600 , axe_you_some_questions.png )

>This is spoopy GET BACK THERE AND FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON
I don't understand what just happened and it's scaring me! I have to know.

"You look like you just saw a ghost."

"More like a goost." I drop my phone on the table. "I think it just figured out phones."

"You think?"

"They didn't say anything and hung up when I gave the talk command. Uh, who phoned you?"

The shop girl shrugs. "Wrong number or something. Didn't say a thing."

>...I wonder if the nanomachines don't like being ordered around anymore.
Oh great, you mean it might not just be trying to eat me because I accidentally told it to, it might now be actively malicious?

>You're going to have to reclaim your house eventually. I suspect that if the nanogoo can learn how to use a phone they can learn how to use the thermostat, so you can't just wait for them to freeze. Time to armor up. Look around the shop for things like full face-masks and gloves. Also, if you can find cans of compressed air you could tell the nanogoo to eat them, causing the gas to be released violently inside the nanogoo AND a sharp drop in temperature.
"I'm going to have to buy more stuff." I venture. "If it can use a phone, it probably figure out the thermostat. Need to confront it if I'm ever going to get my house back. Let me think. Going to need protective gear to avoid touching the stuff and maybe stuff like compressed air? If I can get it to eat that, it, it might explode when punctured?"

"Didn't you just say it's a nude bomb as well? You'll need more help than that."

>Invite shopgirl back to your place
"Well, if you're offering?"

"Ya just want to see me naked, don't you?"

"Maaaaybe."

>And then stick your dick in her
There's a lot of ifs in the way!

"I gueeeeess it's in my best interests to make sure grey goo doesn't eat my workplace. Going to get in a lot of trouble if I'm caught off playing hooky." She glances at the door. The snow's getting heavier. She shrugs. "Doubt anyone's coming out in this weather though. OK. We'll grab the kit you want, then I'll close up shop."

We start a pattern of she grabs the stuff from the aisle and I sort through it at the counter to see what's going to be sturdy enough and try stuff on to get the fit right for me. Overalls, work gloves, face masks, googles, swimming caps, hairnets, beanies and some cans of compressed air so far.

>You must investigate your house-turned-goo-lair! Shopgirl, you have been recruited for this adventure too, so come along! ...I say, we never did ask your name.
"Well, thanks for coming into the goodra's lair with me, uh... say, I never did ask your name?"

"Haha!" A cry of triumph. She comes back out of one aisle with an axe and a worrying grin.

"Is that safe?"

"It's an axe. It's for chopping things up. It's inherently unsafe."

"I mean, do you know how to use an axe?"

"Runner up in last year's citywide amateur boxing tournament."

That... doesn't answer the question.

The front door jingles

"We're closed." shopkeep calls out.

I hear humming. At the door there's a short, round figure, bulky from winter clothes. Heh, they must be feeling the cold too. Looks like they just threw every stitch of warm clothing they had on.

Wait.

Son 2015/08/18(Tue)03:13 No. 663634 ID: 8177e7
File 143989280633.png - (15.07KB , 400x600 , hiiiiiiiii_part_2.png )

That's my jacket.

Stick your dick in it

Try asking it to speak again.

Also, did your smartphone have GPS?

"uh, girl who won't tell me her name, we don't have to worry about looking for it at my house anymore... It just found us."

Don't get in close and remember it can launch pieces of itself at you as well so you two might want to take cover. Oh and if you do try talking to it the only question I can think worth ask is "Why". As in Why is it fucking hunting you down?! The hell did you do to piss it off?!

>>663634
It just figured out clothes.

And a way to generate internal heat.

"if you have gotten smart enough to know how clothes work, can i ask you to stop trying to eat me?" do not show fear

Have hello to your new goo overlord.

Is... is it in the shape of a nanogoo-girl?

Well, if it's smart enough to not melt through clothes and call you through the phone, it's probably smart enough to not want to hurt you anymore.

Hug nanogoo.

...repeat requests for your conversion into a nanogoo-girl.

Oh crap. It probably left a trail of nanopuddles.

You need to find the exact trail it left and destroy all traces before they reach the sewer, or your city will be Cthulhu's wife by next week.

For now, shout for your friend. Lure this idiot mass back into the street and pull / shoot off clothes so it will freeze.

>Wrong number or something. Didn't say a thing.
The goo called your cell and the store phone at the same time to confirm you were here. Clever girl.

>>663634
It figured out how to not eat things. Now all you have to do is convince it you're as useful as clothes.

Appease it with a hug.

>>663650
so... stick his dick in it?

>>663634
Ok, this..can be bad, or maybe good? It came here, and is not immediately insane. Could have melted the door, didnt.

Lets try communication 2.0 with it. Let it know you dont want to be eaten, and offer it the flakes of nanogoo you have.

Keep the shopkeeper safe and at a distance, it can still shoot nanowads.

Try to look as big as possible, and make a lot of noise. This scares them away.

>>663634
"Why did you follow me?"

Aw, you came out in this weather just to see me? How sweet. Come, give Son a hug!
(one of the three of you is going to need an actual name soon... I'd start by naming the goo (girl) Silver.)

quick save "SAVE" so it wont try to change forms.

Don't attack the obvious goo person. Instead try to talk to it. But if that fails run, the last thing we need is axe wielding goo.

Go for the hug.

Hugs solve everything.

Ask nanogoo girl to sit down.

>>663634
Don't say eat or consume unless you're really ordering it to eat something. Unless it is VERY smart now it will continue to take commands literally. Which means even if you preface "eat" with "don't" it will probably take that as an order to eat anything you name after the "eat".

First off, tell it to eat what it's wearing. If it stops to do so, it will be immediately exposed to the cold. Then you can tell it to eat the compressed air cans. If it actively disobeys, then you might have a chance to convince it to stop trying to kill you...

Tell the shopkeep she might want to turn off the space heater.

>>663707
Eat clothing? Kinkyyy.

Well, I'm on the side of "it's smart enough to wear clothes and use phones, maybe its smart enough to be reasoned with", soooo, let's cautiously try reasoning with it?

>>663715
but refrain from using command words like 'eat' or 'consume' or 'devour'

>>663727
Agreed

Clearly it has come to stick its dick in you

Son 2015/08/19(Wed)00:40 No. 663831 ID: 8177e7
File 143997001025.png - (10.74KB , 400x600 , goo_talk.png )

>The goo called your cell and the store phone at the same time to confirm you were here. Clever girl.
Mystery solved.

>"We don't have to worry about looking for it at my house anymore... It just found us."

>Don't get in close and remember it can launch pieces of itself at you as well so you two might want to take cover.
I hunker down behind the counter. Shopkeep's ducked back into the aisles.

>Tell the shopkeep she might want to turn off the space heater.
I unplug the heater.

>Try to look as big as possible, and make a lot of noise. This scares them away.
I think that's bears.

>Try asking it to speak again.
"We can talk this out, right? Say hello."

It pulls down its scarf. "HeLlo." It's slowly walking toward me. Is it a bit cold or is it just trying to stop me from running right away?

>Don't say eat or consume unless you're really ordering it to eat something. Unless it is VERY smart now it will continue to take commands literally. Which means even if you preface "eat" with "don't" it will probably take that as an order to eat anything you name after the "eat".
Noted.

>Oh and if you do try talking to it the only question I can think worth ask is "Why". As in Why is it fucking hunting you down?! The hell did you do to piss it off?!

"A-a-ambiguous QUEry."

>"Why did you follow me?"

"To eaAAat you."

That is pretty unambiguous!

>"If you have gotten smart enough to know how clothes work, can I ask you to stop trying to eat me?" Do not show fear.
"If you've gotten smart enough to figure out clothes, can I ask you to stop trying to do that?"

"yes."

"OK, don't eat me."

"i wIll."

"I just told you not to!!"

"No yoU dIDn'T."

"Stop trying to eat me!!!" That was a few exclamation marks short of not showing fear.

"No."

This isn't working! It's halfway to me.

>Is... is it in the shape of a nanogoo-girl?
Looks kind of girly. I can't see any boobs.

>Well, if it's smart enough to not melt through clothes and call you through the phone, it's probably smart enough to not want to hurt you anymore.
I don't know if it's ever going to be that smart!

>Go for the hug.
>Hugs solve everything.
I'd die!

>Stick your dick in it.
I'd definitely die!

>Clearly it has come to stick its dick in you
All signs point to no!

>...repeat requests for your conversion into a nanogoo-girl.
It blinks twice and pauses. Is it thinking?

Son 2015/08/19(Wed)00:41 No. 663832 ID: 8177e7
File 143997008954.png - (12.76KB , 600x400 , nude_bomber.png )

>Tell it to eat what it's wearing. If it stops to do so, it will be immediately exposed to the cold. Then you can tell it to eat the compressed air cans. If it actively disobeys, then you might have a chance to convince it to stop trying to kill you...
"Eat the clothes you're currently wearing!" It starts squirming but it's started walking towards me again. It's too close! I'll pop up, grab a can and throw it at the door. Then tell it to eat that can.

Can in hand, I toss over the goo's head at the door. "Eat-" It starts screaming. Or humming. It's loud, really loud! "-.... ...!"

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Shit! If I can't hear myself talk, it definitely can't!

>Lure this idiot mass back into the street and pull / shoot off clothes so it will freeze.
It's been consistently outwitting me and it's not even a whale so what does that make me?!

Son 2015/08/19(Wed)00:42 No. 663833 ID: 8177e7
File 143997013515.png - (14.31KB , 600x400 , death_and_axes.png )

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" -KA-CHUNK-

Shopkeep comes out of an aisle and hits it in the head with an axe.

That drops it.

She chops it three more times while its down.

-KA-CHUNK- -KA-CHUNK- -KA-CHUNK-

>Don't attack the obvious goo person. Instead try to talk to it. But if that fails run, the last thing we need is axe wielding goo.
I had no way of telling her not to do! I may have enlisted the help of an aspiring axe murder!

Son 2015/08/19(Wed)00:42 No. 663834 ID: 8177e7
File 143997015878.png - (14.27KB , 400x600 , its_over_its_finally_over.png )

She turns to face me.

"Nanomachines, huh?"

Stick your dick in her

she dead, axes can't hurt nanomachines.
she just turned it into three blobs instead of one big one.

Well she's probably about to get nanomachine'd.

Might as well join her.

>>663834
It's not over. Tell her to watch the fuck out, nanomachines don't die when you chop them up, they just get dumber. She needs to get a shovel and shove it out the door into the cold.

I'd suggest you help but it'd just start attacking you. You didn't order it to do anything relating to the shopkeep, so she should be safe. I mean I don't think it can actually eat anything unless you tell it to.

After it's all over tell her saving your life is pretty sexy.

>>663834
IT'S NOT DEAD. THAT DOESN'T WORK. TAKE THE CLOTHES OFF IT AND THROW IT INTO THE SNOW.

Tell her to get away from it and move towards the door. No way in hell did a few ax chops kill what is basically goo.

WHY ARE YOU TURNING YOUR BACK TO THE ENEMY?!

Run out into the cold. Grab all the heat-based items you can carry, it's going to be a long night.

Wait, I know how to end this!

"Eat snow."

Son 2015/08/19(Wed)02:35 No. 663867 ID: 8177e7
File 143997693777.png - (16.83KB , 600x400 , traumatic_incident.png )

>IT'S NOT DEAD. THAT DOESN'T WORK. TAKE THE CLOTHES OFF IT AND THROW IT INTO THE SNOW.
>It's not over. Tell her to watch the fuck out, nanomachines don't die when you chop them up, they just get dumber. She needs to get a shovel and shove it out the door into the cold.
"IT'S BEHIND YOU! Get back! It'll just reform unless we can get the pieces outside!"

"Get a shovel then!" She spins to confront the goo. "I'll chop you up!"

-CLANG-

Shit, its figured out how to do that thing nanomachines always do!

"Sonuvva!" the shopgirl drops the axe from the impact traveling back up her arm. The nanomachines move in.

>I'd suggest you help but it'd just start attacking you. You didn't order it to do anything relating to the shopkeep, so she should be safe. I mean I don't think it can actually eat anything unless you tell it to.
It's just holding on to her. Maybe it can't?!

>Run out into the cold. Grab all the heat-based items you can carry, it's going to be a long night.
Uh, there might be a back exit through the employee break room behind me, but it's in the way to get out the front!

>Stick your dick in her
Which one?!

Son 2015/08/19(Wed)02:37 No. 663868 ID: 8177e7
File 143997705036.png - (15.87KB , 400x600 , i_have_your_wife.png )

"Hey!" she tells it. "If you're not going to eat me, then hands off the merchandise!"

"I wiLl not un-unneCESSarily harm HUmans."

"Oh that's good."

It looks at me. "I will cause harrRM to this perSONnnn if y-y-you do not come here."

"That's shit."

>Wait, I know how to end this! "Eat snow."
That could actually-

"I w-w-will also cause harm to this person iF you attempt to giIIive me any further com-m-m-mANds. You hAaAve two minutes to comPLY."

Aaaaaaaah. Shit, I need to think.

"D-d-ddo yoU HAave any romanTIC inTerest in that persSson?" it asks shopkeep.

"Uhhhh, maybe?"

"I was t-t-tttold i should KiLll you iF YOu do."

"What kind of plans did you have for this goo?!" Shopkeep says.

"I didn't tell it to do that!"

"I w-w-wwoulD PRrefer not tO. I wouLD LikE to purchaSe s-s-screws from you."

"What."

"I hAVe thirteen doLlars and fIve c-cents. I can als-s-sso provide labOUr anD SEervices."

"What, like," she glances at me, "what was it you said? Giving people superpowers? Stuff like enhancing people's strength and jigglejogglers to superhuman levels?"

"Tt-t-that is broOoadly CORrect."

"Hey, don't go negotiating in front of me!" I say.

This is seriously weirding me out.

>Well she's probably about to get nanomachine'd.
>Might as well join her.
Looks like it's her or me.

Stick your dick in them

Time to bite the bullet. The bullet made out of nanogoo.

Step forward.

"I really hope you're just going to turn me into a nanogoo-girl. Otherwise, this is gonna suck."

>>663868
...that's not necessarily the case. You can still trick it. Suggest the shopkeep purchase superstrength. Then she can fight back.

Anyway, ask who told it to kill anyone that had romantic interest in you. What was the order given?

>>663868
wait who else was giving it orders

do you have a creepy stalker who sent you nanomachines what the hell

>>663870
>>663870
>>663870
>>663870
>>663870

we are a sucker goody two shoes. save shopkeep, embrace the goo.

Grab the nearest electrical wire, some extra explosive chemicals, and bum rush this fool!

I got another idea. Grab (and buy) a box of screws, then throw them outside. It MIGHT compulsively chase them. If it doesn't, then ask it why it can choose not to eat screws, but insists on eating you. Why would it want to eat its master? You're the only one that can tell it what it should do- without you it has no direction, no purpose in life.

>>663872
Nan(o)cy obviously figured out how the internet works and replied to his "help, grey goo is eating me, what do" thread.

In their infinite wisdom, the lovely bunch of assholes gave her(?) tips, and apparently made her into a yandere.

Thanks, internet!

Oh. A third idea. Try bribing it outright. It only has thirteen dollars, but you can buy ALL the screws. How many screws is your life worth?

I think ms. shopkeep is better suited for handling nano.

You should probably comply with nano's request.

Ask it to tell you why is it trying to kill you? What the hell did you do that it is singling you out among everyone and is try to kill you. Because serously, from this talk it's obvious she's not just hunting down everything in her path, what makes you the exception? Tell her if she answers you might be more likely to give in to her demands. Oh and do keep in mind she can lie.

The goo girl just blocked an axe swing with her arm, just give in and be a goo girl. Your dad would probably be proud anyway to be a goo girl, maybe. He gave you the thing after all.

Nano goo girls are cool too.

>>Stick your dick in her
>Which one?!
Either. Both.

>what was it you said? Giving people superpowers? Stuff like enhancing people's strength and jigglejogglers to superhuman levels?
I have no objections to watching you nanomagic her knockers bigger before I have to get eaten. Kind of nice compensation, really.

>You hAaAve two minutes to comPLY.
Give in. You always knew it would come to this.

...fine. I'm complying. Would you mind explaining what you're doing and why? Might as well sate my curiosity if I'm getting goo-ed anyways.

Who is giving her commands other than you and why does she want to eat you so bad? Ask some questions then comply, no one else should have to get hurt.

Use the two minutes to ask it those burning questions you have. What commands is it currently following? Do you know who my Dad is? Can you enhance my knockers too? Your curiosity sated, go with the flow (of goo).

Tip for shopkeep girl, when negotiating "services" for screws be sure to specify only screws that are *on* the store shelves and displays, not *in* them or the store.

>I wiLl not un-unneCESSarily harm HUmans.
So then she doesn't consider what it's going to do to you as harm, or she considers it necessary.

Ask about that, and why.

Son 2015/08/19(Wed)06:19 No. 663900 ID: 8177e7
File 143999036062.png - (28.42KB , 480x600 , it_was_the_internets_fault.png )

>Wait who else was giving it orders
>Do you have a creepy stalker who sent you nanomachines what the hell
I don't have any stalkers that I know of. It almost feels like the kind of joke Dad would pull on me. That'd be a relief: he could just burst in the door right now. 'Pranked you good, son!' I don't know if I'd laugh, cry or throw up. But this is too far, even for him.

>Nan(o)cy obviously figured out how the internet works and replied to his "help, grey goo is eating me, what do" thread.
>In their infinite wisdom, the lovely bunch of assholes gave her(?) tips, and apparently made her into a yandere.
>Thanks, internet!
No, it couldn't be...

"Do you mind if I quickly check one thing?"

"..."

I'll take that as a yes. I find that site on my phone.

...

I'm completely screwed.

Son 2015/08/19(Wed)06:20 No. 663901 ID: 8177e7
File 143999044160.png - (9.75KB , 600x400 , poker_face.png )

>...that's not necessarily the case. You can still trick it. Suggest the shopkeep purchase superstrength. Then she can fight back.
What if it does decide to just eat her then? Most of its restraints are deactivated. It can probably do anything as long as it can justify this as contributing to its goals of eating me and/or screws.

>Try bribing it outright. It only has thirteen dollars, but you can buy ALL the screws. How many screws is your life worth?
"I can get you screws as many screws as you want if you don't kill me."

"I w-w-wannT you."

>Why does she want to eat you so bad?
Because I told her to. I'm going to guess the risk of me getting away really kicked up the priority compared to screws.

>we are a sucker goody two shoes. save shopkeep, embrace the goo.
Yup. I can't justify getting someone else hurt over this. And even if I do get away, it's just going to come back bigger and smarter and meaner, isn't it?

"You win." I say.

>I have no objections to watching you nanomagic her knockers bigger before I have to get eaten. Kind of nice compensation, really.
"If it means anything, I want you to give the girl whatever she wants." I say. She deserves to get something out of this.

"Boobs." she says.

"You heard the lady."

>Time to bite the bullet. The bullet made out of nanogoo.
>Step forward.
I step out from behind the counter.

>"I really hope you're just going to turn me into a nanogoo-girl. Otherwise, this is gonna suck."

"ThaT is acceptABle."

"Wait, really?"

Son 2015/08/19(Wed)06:21 No. 663902 ID: 8177e7
File 143999047427.png - (13.49KB , 600x400 , goo_end.png )

>Stick your dick in them
I'M GOING TO DO IT!!!!!

[default] 2015/08/19(Wed)06:22 No. 663903 ID: 8177e7
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I guess everything worked out in the end.


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Child of mine,

I am a little disappointed. I know it's hard to hear this but I have always tried to be honest with you. A father spends many years building his repertoire of jokes and funny nicknames for his son. Now, finding myself now with an immortal nanomachine goo daughter, I don't know what to say. It's sad but it's true.

But with every door that closes, a new one opens. It's going to be strange and new and sometimes scary. For me linguistically and for you physically, mentally and emotionally. Don't worry. We're in this together. No matter how much of the planet you devour, you will always be my little girl.

I am so, so proud.

And also,
DAD

PS: Your mother and I had a talk. If you're still into girls or have become some kind of robosexual, that's fine by us. Between you and me though, your mother really wants grandkids. I know you'll figure something out.

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THE END

You stuck your dick in it

now just make yourself male again, you can control your goo, right?
THEN STICK YOUR DICK IN HER.

Yay for potential immortality.

Nah, we gotta go futa.

>>663903
Marry shopgirl.

stick, dick, etc

Convert planet into nano-grandkids. This isssss what yoU wanTTTted iSssnt it FaaAAatHeR?

>>663903
best ending ever.

10/10 best end

>>663903
It's okay dad, we still got tentacles. I'm sure we can plant some kind of nano-hybrid kids in shopgirl. Maybe if we get her pregnant she'll finally tell me her name!

>>663903
And thus, the morale of the story is...

READ THE MANUAL

What I'd like to know is if the protag is actually still there, or if all that's left is a nano-goo-girl shaped mass controlled by nano.

It's the bowl of screws that threw me off, you see.

this is amazing