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File 143633305740.png - (36.28KB , 500x500 , 1.png )
653867 No. 653867 ID: 26e769

“Here we go… Nice and easy, now…” The lock clicks open. “Yes!”
Expand all images
No. 653868 ID: 26e769
File 143633308699.png - (106.21KB , 500x500 , 2.png )

I throw the door open, my heart beating quickly. I’m out!

I hear the door next to me open, almost at the same time.
No. 653869 ID: 26e769
File 143633311573.png - (53.47KB , 500x500 , 3.png )

“Who’s there?” I turn to see.

No. 653870 ID: 26e769
File 143633315977.png - (116.52KB , 500x500 , 4.png )

“AAH! A ROBOT!” We both leap backwards, away from each other.

“What?! I’m not a robot! You’re the robot!”

“Don’t try to confuse me. You’re clearly the only robot here.”

“Is this some kind of mind game, robot? Trying to get inside my mind? You can’t fool me! I’m human!”

“No, I’m the human!”

“You’re crazy! You are a crazy robot!”

This obviously insane robot is getting on my nerves, but we’re never going to get anywhere like this. What do I do?
No. 653871 ID: 0fc976

Check your heads up display to see if you're a robot.
No. 653872 ID: e114bc

Point out all their robot-like features!

Also where are you, are you in a prison?
No. 653873 ID: 54b088

Sing "Human After All", any real human won't be able to pull if off perfectly.
No. 653874 ID: ab7529

Each of you, notice your reflection in the other's shiny metal head. You're a robot!
No. 653875 ID: 3f2867

Fry anyone calling you a robot with your human laser.

Alternatively, ask the robot if they know where to find a mirror.
No. 653877 ID: 1cebc8

... Is this a turing test?

For now, try to recall where you are.
No. 653881 ID: a19cd5

No. 653883 ID: bd8b82

escape, use robot as meat shield when you find enemies, do not tell them your plan.
No. 653884 ID: 334db2

Oh and what's wrong with being a robot?
No. 653885 ID: 7dc3ab

Here just do something a robot cannot do.
No. 653886 ID: 26e769
File 143633722288.png - (73.38KB , 500x500 , 5.png )

“Hey, why don’t you check your heads-up display? It should tell you whether you’re a robot or not.”

“I don’t have one of those, seeing as I’m a human and all. Why don’t you check yours?”

“Me? Please!” I puff out my chest. “Look at my stunningly human physique, and my beautiful human face! What, you think some robot could pull off this level of humanity?”

No. 653887 ID: 26e769
File 143633726989.png - (64.03KB , 500x500 , 6.png )

“Psh, but then just look at you! Shiny, metallic, with those little ear-things and the wires and coils and all that - you practically scream robot.”

“Hey! Don’t point at me! Besides, if anyone has those, then it would be y-“
No. 653888 ID: 26e769
File 143633729058.png - (73.98KB , 500x500 , 7.png )

“Why, if you weren’t a robot, why would you be in the Cybernetic Labyrinth of No Return, built by, owned by, operated by and containing robots, exclusively?!”

“If it only has robots inside, then what about you?”

“Well, I’m the sole exception. Obviously.”
No. 653889 ID: 54b088

If you are in the labyrinth then, and aren't a robot, maybe the robots can't tell you aren't a robot? Time to find the staff or a random technician.
No. 653902 ID: e114bc

Yeah and you were imprisoned here by mistake so c'mon robot help me get out.
No. 653907 ID: 61a9fc

It could be that both of us are defective robots that think they're human!
Or conversely, we're wrongly-roboticized humans that were tossed into the dungeon-labyrinth because they think we're defective robots that think we're human. Well, anyway we're breaking outta here!
No. 653908 ID: 562051

OK, try this one on the robot: imagine you're walking through the desert and the sun is out and it's hot and then you find this tortoise that's stuck on its back. What do you do?
No. 653933 ID: 88960e

Non-robots: examine your completely human and non-metallic arms. And legs. And chest.

(Someone freak out over a missing rack).
No. 653940 ID: eac8be

How would anyone know its contents if it has no return? For that matter, if it is all robots why do they call it Cybernetic instead of Robotic?
No. 653945 ID: 2a7417

Only robots would be terrified by being locked in a maze of cybernetic doom. So you're fine. You're totally fine. You can do a few checks to make sure you're not a robot, though they're not a guarantee just because you pass them. Humans can 1) Recall memories of their life as a human, and 2) bleed.
No. 654054 ID: 26e769
File 143640006894.png - (78.52KB , 500x500 , 8.png )

“If you’re really a human, then answer me this: you’re walking along in the desert when you come across a tortoise on its back. What do you do?”

“I eat it.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Not even a question.”

“No hesitation, no regrets.”

“Sorry, tortoise. That’s just life.”
No. 654055 ID: 26e769
File 143640009866.png - (62.97KB , 500x500 , 9.png )

“Anyway, can you help me get out of here or not, robot?”

“Still not a robot. Besides, what exactly are you suggesting?”

“Well, they must have put you in here for some reason or another. What are your skills? How can we help each other out of this mess?”

“I…” The robot fidgets nervously. “I do have this tattoo.”

“Tattoo? What use is a tattoo going to be?”

“Well, when I found out I was going to be sent here, I got a tattoo of the Labyrinth’s layout on my chest, so I could escape.”
No. 654056 ID: 26e769
File 143640014974.png - (86.78KB , 500x500 , 10.png )

“Wait, if it’s on your chest, then how were you planning to read it?”

“…um.” The robot slumps slightly. “I, uh, I kind of didn’t think that part all the way through, I guess.”

“C-can I look?”
No. 654057 ID: 26e769
File 143640017808.png - (72.34KB , 500x500 , 11.png )

“What?! No! I couldn’t - I wouldn’t show my - not to a complete stranger!”
No. 654059 ID: 334db2

Relax, we're all human here. We're obviously both stuck in suits of robotic armor, brought here by mistake.
No. 654060 ID: e114bc

Well damn I guess you gotta buy her dinner.
No. 654061 ID: ab7529

See! Totally a robot. Humans don't punch that hard. (You're the robot! Humans can't crash and take a fall that well!).

>I can't show you
I don't suppose you can pull your shirt over your head and sort of crane your neck to get a look?

Failing that, I guess we need to look for a mirror.

>total stranger
Oh right! Introductions. I'm Syl. *offer hand* Who might you be?
No. 654062 ID: 9297f4

You pushed me really hard and far. Only a robot with it's robot strength could do that.
No. 654075 ID: 0fc976

Then we should run around in this maze together until we're not strangers anymore and you admit that it was stupid to waste time before reading the map!
No. 654090 ID: 2ac9e7

Well robots built this place right? That should mean there is something shiny for her to use to with a reflixtive surface that she can use to read the map. Just reminder her that reflections are backwards, you know how much trouble robots have with little mind tricks like that.
No. 654100 ID: d4a543

Let's stop arguing about which of us is deluded and which is the true messiah and instead review whatever assets we have that might be relevant to escaping a doom labyrinth.
No. 654104 ID: d4a543

>“What?! No! I couldn’t - I wouldn’t show my - not to a complete stranger!”

Obviously we need to get to know each other better, wink wink nudge nudge. Start by holding hands, then escalate to rubbing your perfectly normal human noses together.
No. 654143 ID: 26e769
File 143641529209.png - (73.92KB , 500x500 , 12.png )

“Why stay strangers? My name’s Syl. What’s yours?”

“I’m Quinn.”

“Well, then.” I get down on one knee. “My dear Quinn. Would you be my date for dinner this evening?”

“Oh, oh, oh my gosh!” Quinn squirms in a flustered, shy way. “I - oh - okay!”

“Wonderful! Follow me.” I take Quinn’s hand and quickly lead the robot down the hall.
No. 654144 ID: 26e769
File 143641532642.png - (98.19KB , 500x500 , 13.png )

”Here we are! The Cybernetic Cafeteria of Occasional Returns!"

“If you say so. Huh. Syl, where do you suppose everyone is? I would have expected some guards, at the very least.”
No. 654145 ID: ab7529

>Huh. Syl, where do you suppose everyone is? I would have expected some guards, at the very least.
Maybe they think the maze is good enough to keep people trapped without guards.

>behind you
Oh look! A reflective surface!

Cue "aaah Ima robot!" freakouts.
No. 654146 ID: bd8b82

feel a presence behind you turn around, be surprised by the new robot, realize it's a mirror.
No. 654147 ID: e114bc

Maybe the outside world is in the midst of chaos and they need every robot available to fight the enemy?!
Or maybe everyone went on break at once to have a party.

Is there anyone serving food? Or do you get to serve yourself? Ask Quinn how robots eat anyway.
No. 654159 ID: 0fc976

Eat something with your human face!
No. 654808 ID: 26e769
File 143657716363.png - (68.48KB , 500x500 , 14.png )

No. 654809 ID: 26e769
File 143657720678.png - (118.15KB , 500x500 , 15.png )

No. 654810 ID: 26e769
File 143657722965.png - (70.49KB , 500x500 , 16.png )

“Whoa! What’s going on?”

“I think there’s another robot around here.”

“Oh no! Where did it go?”

“I’m not sure. It must have run off.”

“Should we stay here? It might come back!”
No. 654811 ID: 0fc976

Oh no! Dozens of tiny robots, on the floor!
It's a mirror you bucket of dolts.
No. 654812 ID: e114bc

It's okay. I'll protect you!
No. 654815 ID: ab7529

Wait, why should assume this new robot would be hostile? The one you found so far is friendly, just a little crazy.
No. 654839 ID: 330ce5

Disregard robot and go find something to munch on.
No. 655600 ID: 26e769
File 143677731588.png - (80.34KB , 500x500 , 17.png )

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you!”

“W-whoa! Cool!”

“Any time.” I flex nonchalantly.

“I feel a lot safer with someone watching my back.” Quinn gives me a shy little pat on the shoulder. “Now let’s go look for food.”
No. 655602 ID: 26e769
File 143677739040.png - (93.96KB , 500x500 , 18.png )

We head into the kitchen.

“I found burritos!” Quinn exclaims.

“Awesome! Bring them over here.”

“Oh, wait, never mind. Their expiration date was in 1973.” Quinn makes a disgusted sound. “...and, on closer inspection, they’re basically something out of the distended nightmares of a twisted, diseased mind. Let’s look somewhere else.”

“Okay. Oh, hey, I think I’ve found something!”

“What is it?”

“Hold on, let me check.”

I pull the stuff out of the future-robo-refrigerator-pantry-cupboard. This looks like all of the makings for any sort of fancy dinner I could imagine - as well as a fine selection of scented candles, hand-stitched Peruvian cloth napkins, and a number of fine wines.

Gosh, what should I do with it all?
No. 655606 ID: 72b8ce

Carve a rose out of some kind of orbicular vegetable, no fancy dinner is without one!
No. 655647 ID: 88960e

Important question: do you know how to cook with any of those fancy dinner fixings.

Obviously you should sweep her into a seat, set the table, and set about making a romantic meal
No. 655653 ID: 2a7417

Use your built in flamethrower to light the candles. And the napkins. And the room. It must burn. It must all BURN.
No. 656671 ID: 26e769
File 143720383380.png - (118.40KB , 500x500 , 19.png )

“Do have a seat, Quinn.”

“Oh, this is lovely!”

“Only the best for you, my dear.”

“Is there food?”

“But of course! First, however, I must light the candles.”
No. 656672 ID: 26e769
File 143720389239.png - (113.54KB , 500x500 , 20.png )

I activate my built-in flamethrowers. “Burn the candles, burn the plates! Ha ha! Everything must burn!”

Quinn watches shyly. “How romantic…”

A few moments later, it occurs to me that I may have overdone things a little.
No. 656673 ID: 7dc3ab

Well continue on your gallant adventure of escape.
No. 656679 ID: 0fc976

Since you are not robots, if robots catch you in the Cybernetic Labyrinth of No Return, which is owned by, operated by, and exclusively for robots, won't you get in trouble? Use the tablecloth as a disguise as you sneak back out into the hallway.
No. 656680 ID: e114bc

She seems to like it anyway. Go get the food!
No. 656683 ID: 63ba7a

Just whip the smouldering tablecloth off while leaving everything else in place. Like that trick magicians and fancy butlers do.
No. 656708 ID: ab7529

>I activate my built-in flamethrowers.
Humans have built in flamethrowers?

>A few moments later, it occurs to me that I may have overdone things a little.
Not if you use asbestos plates!
No. 656724 ID: c8770e

Pfft, the table's fine, lets go grab some HUMAN food from behind whatever counter this place has.
No. 657626 ID: 26e769
File 143763315841.png - (260.39KB , 1000x1000 , 21.png )

I pull the burning tablecloth away, leaving everything else on the table.

“Amazing!” Quinn claps.

I tie the burning tablecloth around my neck as a disguise. With the same motion, I sweep Quinn into my arms and pose dramatically.

“We must continue our grand adventure! Come, Quinn!”

Quinn nods, gazing up at me in wonderment and surprise. “…no, wait! Shouldn’t we use protection?”
No. 657627 ID: bd8b82

oh, yes, armor. use saw t cut table into a shield.
No. 657629 ID: 0fc976

We're plenty protected already! Robots can't catch you if you're on fire.
No. 657684 ID: 55c682

Good thinking, Quinn! Run a diag on your perfectly human short-term energy shield.
No. 657690 ID: 5b69c0

You'll take responsibility.
No. 657718 ID: f61b8d

It's dangerous to go alone! Take...uh...table?
No. 657734 ID: ab7529

>Shouldn’t we use protection?
...from what?
No. 657877 ID: 26e769
File 143778844972.png - (117.39KB , 500x500 , 22.png )

“Protection? From what?”

“Uh, well, you know…” Quinn squirms. ”That.”

“The fire? Hah, don’t worry about that. The fire is my protection! Robots can’t catch me if I’m on fire.”

“That’s not it.”

“Then what are you so afraid of? Whatever it is, don’t worry. I’ll take responsibility.”

“Well… I was kind of suggesting we-“

Suddenly, the wall behind us explodes open!

No. 657878 ID: 26e769
File 143778848526.png - (104.54KB , 500x500 , 23.png )

We run for our lives from the torrential onslaught of fire-fighting missiles, rockets, lasers, genetically-engineered flying hyenas, flamethrowers, and incendiary grenades.

“Drop the dumb tablecloth, Syl!” Quinn yells. “Drop it now!”

“But it’s the perfect disguise!” I shout back. “Besides, I can’t just light something on fire and then leave it on the ground! That would be irresponsible.”


“Dang it!”
No. 657880 ID: 26e769
File 143778860312.png - (71.47KB , 500x500 , 24.png )

“Quick, over here!” Quinn grabs my arm and pulls me into an uncomfortably small broom closet, shutting the door.

“Quinn, I think this might be the end for us.”

“Aw, this sucks! I was just about to get laid, too.”
No. 657882 ID: e114bc

Oh is that what you meant. I thought you weren't that kind of girl. Does this mean I can see your map now?
No. 657883 ID: 0fc976

Oh? By who?

There's only one way to defeat the Smokeybot, Quinn. We must SYNC our HEAT into a GIANT LASER!
No. 657884 ID: ab7529

>“Aw, this sucks! I was just about to get laid, too.”
You were? But with who...


Perfectly human mega-blush, go. Realize in what close proximity you are, pressed up all hard against each other, with maybe only moments to act...

Engage human subroutine: desperate makeouts / last chance at getting laid in the face of looming death. Get distracted / interrupted when you discover a secret escape from the closet on the boobs-map.
No. 657927 ID: 1cebc8

Let me guess, the broom closet is actually a giant railgun for shooting robots. And frying humans via electrical fire.

Overclock your flamethrowers to spit a single fireball at Smokey. Aim for center mass, you need to set him on fire for a few seconds.
No. 657928 ID: bd8b82

get awkward human boner.
No. 657930 ID: 55c682

Time to explore the map for possible escape routes... responsibly.
No. 658044 ID: 26e769
File 143787538480.png - (55.01KB , 500x500 , 25.png )

“Oh? By who?” It takes me a moment. “Oh. Ooooooh.”

“Yeah, but then we got interrupted, and now we’re going to die. Which sucks.”

“Well, we could still try.”

“Heck, why not?” As close as we are, we get closer. “Mmm…”

“Oooh! Hee hee.”

“Hey, there’s the map.”

“Oh, just forget about the map, would you?”

“No, but look! If I’m reading this right, then we’re in the middle of a… nonnac epacse?”

“A what?”

“I’m not sure. Let’s see, there’s apparently a switch hidden right around…”

No. 658045 ID: 26e769
File 143787543936.png - (38.77KB , 500x500 , 26.png )

No. 658046 ID: 26e769
File 143787550244.png - (81.40KB , 500x500 , 27.png )

“Oh, it wasn’t a nonnac epacse, it was an escape cannon! Sylly me.”

“Well, this is a fine how-do-you-do.” Quinn harumphs.

“It’s not that bad, Quinny. We’re flying!”

“I’m like eighty percent sure that that’s not how gravity works, Syl.”
No. 658047 ID: ab7529

Grab her hand and start singing "A Whole New World".

What else are you supposed to do when flying?
No. 658048 ID: e114bc

Maybe, but we can still have a controlled descent.

Activate your totally human thrusters. Or use the flamethrowers for thrust.
No. 658060 ID: 0fc976

You're so full of hot air, I bet you'll float.
No. 658061 ID: bd8b82

open wings.
No. 658072 ID: 334db2

Catch your comrade before you try anything.
No. 658135 ID: 26e769
File 143789262206.png - (45.86KB , 500x500 , 28.png )

“Syl, how are we going to get out of this?”

“I’ve got an idea.” I grab Quinn’s arm. “I can show you the world…”

“No. Syl. Please stop.”

“Shining, shimmering, splendid…”

“Syl, I swear, if these are the last words I ever hear, I’ll-!“

“Tell me, princess, when did you last let your-*”

No. 658136 ID: 26e769
File 143789267734.png - (38.96KB , 500x500 , 29.png )

…Ack. Ugh.

Mouth full of saltwater. Suit… suit full of seawater. I need to… I need to…
No. 658137 ID: 26e769
File 143789271583.png - (139.71KB , 500x500 , 30.png )

Whew! That’s better. I can breathe again.
No. 658138 ID: 26e769
File 143789275646.png - (76.69KB , 500x500 , 31.png )

Hey, I survived the fall! And I escaped! Awesome. I mean, I guess they’ll have to rename it to the Cybernetic Labyrinth of No Return (Except For That One Time When Someone Returned), which is less cool, but other than that? Everything’s turning up Sylvia.

…although I do still have this weird feeling that I’m forgetting something.
No. 658139 ID: e114bc

Rescue your friend from the cruel waters of the ocean.
No. 658141 ID: 5c9255

Save the Quinn. Save the world.
No. 658142 ID: 0fc976

Toss your long flowing hair out as a lifeline to Quinn!
No. 658143 ID: ab7529

The tits that saved your life are busy drowning behind you.
No. 658157 ID: 1cebc8

You forgot the robot.

Use your CYBORG AUGMENTATIONS to save Quinn.
No. 658288 ID: 2eeb65

Ponder the implications of being a robosexual.
No. 658323 ID: 26e769
File 143795561772.png - (55.88KB , 500x500 , 32.png )

Oh no!

I dive into the water, grabbing wildly at some large shape. Luckily, it turns out to be Quinn.

“I’m drowning! I’m drowning! Nooooo! I’m going to get eaten by sharks and sea bears and it’s all Syl’s fault!“

“Hey, Quinn, relax. I’ve got you.”

“That’s just what a shark would say!” Quinn flails wildly.

“Can a shark sing? I can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder…“

“Syl! It’s you!”


“Okay, Syl, I get it. Please, please stop singing.” Quinn falls back onto the ground. “Ugh… I’m so waterlogged, I can’t even see. Can you help me take off my helmet?”


…No way.
No. 658326 ID: 26e769
File 143795567506.png - (133.81KB , 500x500 , 33.png )

I grab hold of Quinn’s face and pull.

No. 658327 ID: ab7529

...is there a second helmet under that one?

Oh well, who cares. At least she's got nice tits.
No. 658328 ID: e114bc

Feel betrayed. Say "I feel betrayed."
No. 658331 ID: bd8b82

yeah, be thankful that of all the robots you are stuck with, you are stuck with the one with tits.
No. 658332 ID: 0fc976

Pull off your secondary facemask and make out circuitboard-to-circuitboard.
No. 658334 ID: 46df9e

Wait, how did a robot get a tattoo?
No. 658342 ID: 2eeb65

Are we a girl or a long-haired bishounen guy named Sylvia?
No. 658424 ID: 99cfa8

Show her your FROWNY FACE.
No. 658438 ID: ebcefd

Why didn't you tell me you were a robot? And why am I still kind of turned on?
No. 658440 ID: 1cebc8

Knock him unconscious before he decides to "burn your robot face".
No. 658452 ID: 26e769
File 143798281236.png - (78.39KB , 500x500 , 34.png )

Whoa! Quinn really is a robot!

Wait, does that mean that I’m holding Quinn’s face in my hands?!

How did a robot even get a tattoo?

Is it weird that I’m still kind of turned on?

…am I a robosexual?!
No. 658453 ID: 26e769
File 143798286389.png - (104.57KB , 500x500 , 35.png )

“Hey!” Quinn calls out to me. “Syl, what are you looking at?”

“Uh, I, um…”

“Gosh, you’re so lazy. Couldn’t you have at least taken the whole thing off before you started performing Shakespearean monologues with it?”
No. 658454 ID: 26e769
File 143798289201.png - (97.06KB , 500x500 , 36.png )


“Oh, hello, Syl~”
No. 658455 ID: e114bc

Now kiss.
No. 658457 ID: bd8b82

find shelter.
No. 658467 ID: 99cfa8

Yes, resume your makeout session!
No. 658468 ID: 1cebc8

Headbutt, see if you can pull off another mask.
No. 658469 ID: 5c9255

What's the deal with the eye markings? Are you from separate tribes and have to fight to the death now or something?
No. 658484 ID: 2eeb65

My question still stands.

Is Syl a long-haired bishounen?
Is Quinn a short-haired gal?
Which one of us has tits?
No. 658485 ID: 0fc976

Who are you and what have you done with Quinn!? SUSPICIOUSSSSS!
No. 658540 ID: d4a543

Hold hands and take a long romantic walk directly uphill, toward civilization.
No. 658544 ID: 88960e

>Which one of us has tits?
We all do. The tits were inside us all along.
No. 658568 ID: ab7529

Death defying makeouts and getting laid now. Introspection on sexuality and/or robosexuality later.
No. 658753 ID: 26e769
File 143806146566.png - (83.29KB , 500x500 , 37.png )

“Is that really you, Quinn?”

“It’s really me, Syl.”

I grin. “I don’t know, you still seem pretty suspicious…”
No. 658755 ID: 26e769
File 143806148678.png - (92.13KB , 500x500 , 38.png )

“Let’s put those doubts to rest.”
No. 658756 ID: 26e769
File 143806150799.png - (41.09KB , 500x500 , 39.png )

No. 658758 ID: 1cebc8

And so they connected USB ports.

No. 658773 ID: f0e552

Well i guess we did achieve our objective.

Welp, time to go home.
No. 658795 ID: 7aeb02

Best end.
Thank you ApiomIdollo.
No. 658819 ID: 2eeb65

The subject of tits hasn't been sufficiently explored though. What a cliffhanger.

(jk, cool story OP)
No. 658824 ID: 88960e

No. 658837 ID: 2eeb65

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