Play Far Cry 6.

Konami code!

-> Options

Turn off gravity

And oxygen needs

Let the intro stagr play out

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/03/31(Tue)23:24 No. 632181 ID: 1f8505
File 142786945884.png - (88.19KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 2.png )

>>632173

This is 1986 my FRIEND. It will be many YEARS before UBISOFT will RUN THAT FRANCHISE INTO THE GROUND.

>>632174
YOU already ENTERED that CODE.

>>632177
YOU big SILLY FARTHEAD. This is a GAME for the PRETENDO ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM. There won't be an OPTIONS menu for at least SEVERAL MORE GAMES.

Regardless, you choose CONTINUE. When SUPER JUMPING GUY last LEFT OFF, you were headed to the ICE WORLD in your ROCKET CAR.

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/03/31(Tue)23:28 No. 632182 ID: 1f8505
File 142786973413.png - (117.51KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 3.png )

*CRUNCH*

YOU successfully "LAND" in the ICE WORLD. You must advance across the 2D LANDSCAPE in order to FIND the BOSS and WASTE HIS CANDY ASS so you can ADVANCE to the next WORLD to LOCATE and RESCUE PRINCESS GIRLFRIEND.

Go left.

Smash that snowman into smithereens.

jump the snowman

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/03/31(Tue)23:42 No. 632192 ID: 1f8505
File 142787057312.png - (171.16KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 4.png )

>>632185
CHECK.

>>632187
With your patented SUPER JUMPING PUNCH, you turn the SNOWDAN into a PILE of SLUSH. It is now DEAD, and the SNOWDAN'S WIFE and little SNOWCHILDREN are now FATHERLESS and without a PRIMARY SOURCE of INCOME. You heartless BASTARD.

No SHINEYS fall out of the SNOWDAN, unfortunately.

take snowan's bucket/helmet, they don't need it anymore.

Scream violently to cause an avalanche.

>>632192
Slide onwards!

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/03/31(Tue)23:56 No. 632201 ID: 1f8505
File 142787141454.png - (159.76KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 5.png )

>>632194
You add the SNOWDAN'S HELMET to your INVENTORY.

>>632196
You SCREAM at the TOP of LUNG but NOTHING HAPPENS.

>>632197
You SLIDE FORWARDS on the SLICK SURFACE like a BOSS. You encounter a HELMETED DERP standing UNDER some GIANT DEADLY ICICLES. This looks like it could get TRICKY!

Place the bucket over his spear, rending him harmless.

Continue sliding while basking in the warm warm comfort of a properly fitting pair of briefs.

>>632201
Jump onto the platform over him! Just go on past, you don't need to kill everything.

Sit on his face and use him to slide further!

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/04/01(Wed)00:09 No. 632208 ID: 1f8505
File 142787217665.png - (170.42KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 6.png )

>>632203
You put the BUCKET on the SPEAR of the HELMETED DERP. It is now HARMLESS except for the fact that it still has the CLASSIC 2D SIDESCROLLER TOUCH-O'-DEATH. Which you recognize as you SLIDE into the HELMETED DERP.

"BARF!"

>You're dead, idiot!
>LIVES -1

>>632204
WHOOPS, TOO LATE FOR THAT.

>>632207
What part of TOUCH-O'-DEATH do you not UNDERSTAND?

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/04/01(Wed)00:23 No. 632215 ID: 1f8505
File 142787303111.png - (164.29KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 7.png )

Let's TRY that AGAIN. You RESPAWN in front of the HELMETED DERP.

take helmet/bucket back and super slam spike platform.

>>632216
Yeah, this.

Touch of death still active! Touching the bucket might also trigger instant death! Just jump over him!

Ground pound to make the spikes fall on him!

Use deception! Make like you are going to jump, but then shoot him with your gun.

Offer HELMETED DERP enough coins to buy a life and make it fight for you

Stomp on the ground so hard the derp is thrown upwards, into the ceiling spikes.

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/04/01(Wed)14:55 No. 632332 ID: 1f8505
File 142792530103.png - (183.40KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 8.png )

>>632216
>>632224

>>632329
You have not yet ACQUIRED the SUPER JUMPING SLAM move.

>>632261
HELMETED DERPS are too DERPY to be BRIBED. All they know is how to POKE you with a SPEAR.

>>632222
The GIANT DEADLY ICICLES are too LOW to SAFELY JUMP OVER.


Okay okay, not to HOLD your HAND like some kind of HAND-HOLDING HOLD-HANDER, but in the LAST LEVEL you ACQUIRED the POTATO GUN and you haven't USED it YET.

>>632332
Of course! Shoot POTATO GUN at DEADLY ICICLES to cover the SHARP TIPS and then jump over the HELMETED DERP safely!

>Okay okay, not to HOLD your HAND like some kind of HAND-HOLDING HOLD-HANDER, but in the LAST LEVEL you ACQUIRED the POTATO GUN and you haven't USED it YET.
Eat delicious potato and hope for a power-up.

>>632335
I liked "delirious" better...

Shoot the icicles.

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/04/01(Wed)15:11 No. 632342 ID: 1f8505
File 142792630094.png - (190.21KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 9.png )

>>632335
WHAT. You don't EAT the ONE WEAPON you HAVE. Are you INSANE? What, when you pick up a GUN in BATTLEFIELD 3, do you EAT IT?! NO!! YOU SHOOT IT. BECAUSE IT'S A GUN. YOU PEE-GARGLING SOCK PUPPET.


>>632334
>>632337
No no no NO NO. Give me the CONTROLLER.

GIVE ME THE CONTROLLER.

You SHOOT the HELMETED DERP with your POTATO GUN. Like you are SUPPOSED TO.

"DERP!"

It DROPS TWO SHINEYS.

Was that so HARD? Now you can ADVANCE.

>>632342
But he was wearing a helmet!

Retrieve bucket, advance.

> Like you are SUPPOSED TO.
>Was that so HARD? Now you can ADVANCE.
Aw.

Jump into spikes, respawn. See if there are other more interesting solutions that work.

>>632342
slide under the spikes, they are clearly going to drop on you if you just walk under them!

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/04/01(Wed)15:34 No. 632363 ID: 1f8505
File 142792766788.png - (152.94KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 10.png )

>>632343

The BUCKET is IRRETRIEVABLE since it was ON the HELMETED DERP when it met it's STARCHY DEMISE.

>>632344
NO.

>>632346
You SUPER JUMPING SLIDE under the GIANT DEADLY ICICLES. Sure enough, they FALL, but you SLID safely away in TIME.

AHEAD of you, a SNICKER-SNAKE pops out of a BOTTOMFULL PIT.

>>632363
shoot!

>>632363
>bottomfull pit
After shooting the snake, jump into the pit of asses!

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/04/01(Wed)15:49 No. 632369 ID: 1f8505
File 142792854295.png - (157.88KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 11.png )

>>632367
>>632368

You SHOOT the SNICKER-SNAKE with your POTATO GUN.

The SPUD bounces HARMLESSLY off the SNICKER-SNAKE. It appears to be IMMUNE to the POWER of the POTATO.

>>632369
Ask the snake nicely to move out of the way.

Okay what are those briefs and the 22 things we have?

>>632369
Politely ask him ot move away, if it fails, try jumping over him.

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/04/01(Wed)16:01 No. 632374 ID: 1f8505
File 142792929633.png - (143.48KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 12.png )

>>632371
>>632373

You address the SNICKER-SNAKE:
"SNICKER-SNAKE! I must ASK you to MOVE so that I, SUPER JUMPING GUY, may PROCEED through this LEVEL so that I may RESCUE PRINCESS GIRLFRIEND."

The SNICKER-SNAKE responds:
"I CANNOT, for you see, this BOTTOMFULL PIT is full of BOTTOMS, and it SMELLS really BAD."

In your INVENTORY is the POTATO GUN and a CLEAN PAIR of UNDERPANTS.

Ask the snake if it would like to eat you.

Offer underpants to cover bottoms.

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/04/01(Wed)16:15 No. 632379 ID: 1f8505
File 142793013427.png - (144.63KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 13.png )

>>632376
You GIVE your CLEAN PAIR of UNDERPANTS to the SNICKER-SNAKE.

"Ahhh" the SNICKER-SNAKE sighs. "The CLEAN FRESH SCENT of these UNDERPANTS will MASK the STENCH of the BOTTOMS quite NICELY. Thank you."

The SNICKER-SNAKE EQUIPS the CLEAN PAIR of UNDERPANTS...

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/04/01(Wed)16:16 No. 632380 ID: 1f8505
File 142793017542.png - (102.84KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 14.png )

...and DISAPPEARS back into the BOTTOMFULL PIT.

>>632380
Jump over the pit to continue.

BOY I SURE HOPE THAT BUCKET WASN'T AN ESSENTIAL ITEM

Follow snake. Maybe there's a secret down there!

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/04/01(Wed)16:28 No. 632384 ID: 1f8505
File 142793092799.png - (190.82KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 15.png )

>>632382
You follow the SNICKER-SNAKE down the BOTTOMFULL PIT.

Sure enough, it is full of BOTTOMS. And the SMELL is so bad that it KILLS you dead.

"HURK!"

>You're dead, moron!
>LIVES -1

Ho hum. Well...jump over the hole, I guess?

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/04/01(Wed)16:42 No. 632390 ID: 1f8505
File 142793172220.png - (103.94KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 16.png )

You RESPAWN back above the BOTTOMFULL PIT.

You get ready to JUMP over the BOT1OMFU7& P1T In ORDEER 2209

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/04/01(Wed)16:42 No. 632391 ID: 1f8505
File 142793176806.png - (1.02MB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 17.png )

slidfjOE(U()@#*$HPAIJFaljehqo;389uO(*YA(PE*FYAIUp0
9uy2p9uhfaspodfjay928h0UAJDH*AjahfklAJBHFLAKU*kjHI
Lt8qglHADIOUFIO98losijdfaoiswh9p284yu9hfKSJzhKLkjg
SJDGHKSJ02u;LKHJSO8uw0nj2;obh'awou4fl;osJ;oijsJGJG

Remove cartridge, blow on it.

Anon44!lk4zOq2og2 2015/04/01(Wed)16:53 No. 632397 ID: 1f8505
File 142793243615.png - (112.87KB , 800x600 , super jumping guy 18.png )

WELP.

Looks like your GAME CARTRIDGE decided to take a BIG ol' ELECTRONIC SHIT on your FACE and BURN OUT, ruining any PROGRESS you MADE.

We will RESUME the ADVENTURES of SUPER JUMPING GUY as soon as you find another CARTRIDGE or find an EMULATOR. Or perhaps DIG out an old COPY from a giant DESERT LANDFILL somewhere.

Or NOT. WHO GIVES A FUCK?!

Give cartridge a proper funeral.

Blow it up!

End the lets play, start your quest to find a new SUPER JUMPING GUY!

nonononono that cartridge needs a good ol' blowjob

Ultra Jumping Guy 74 was better anyway

Eat it.