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File 125523539844.gif - (6.89KB , 640x480 , 1.gif )
62719 No. 62719 ID: 0d4666

Expand all images
No. 62722 ID: 0d4666
File 125523549745.gif - (7.29KB , 640x480 , 2.gif )

This is Archibald, a gentleman gunslinger. While he may not have the wits, he has the fastest hands and the most charming smiles.
No. 62731 ID: 632862

Smile, then.
No. 62734 ID: 0d4666
File 125523569679.gif - (6.91KB , 640x480 , 3.gif )

And this is Frak, a frenzied tactician. He is extremely quick in his mind, and thus makes him a great chief. He loves discipline.

So, voices, which mind do you want to breech?
No. 62735 ID: 9e9b47


Archibald of course. Dapper man are superior.
No. 62741 ID: b12379

Go with Archibald. Intelligent characters won't listen to our suggestions, and who the hell doesn't want to be a gentlemang?
No. 62746 ID: d0ef8d

Archibald. The hat always wins out.
No. 62747 ID: f21281

No. 62762 ID: 0d4666
File 125523734597.gif - (4.72KB , 640x480 , 4.gif )

You are now controlling Archibald.
He appears to be in a tavern, drinking beer.
A voice comes from his radio:
>"This 'Hot Billy' is fat and redheaded. He'll be easy to see. Over."
>"Copy that, Frak. Over."
>"Now, you'll have walk up over to him when he stands up, introduce yourself, shake his hand, blah-blah-blah, until you buy him a drink. Then, when he's not looking, put that powder in his glass. He'll get as obedient as a loyal puppy. Over."
>"'Obediant as a loyal puppy'? That was the best thing you could think of? Over."
>"Yes, it was. Over."
Perfect, the place is empty. So, I guess I'll just wait here...
No. 62772 ID: d0ef8d

Whistle a jaunty tune while you wait.
No. 62794 ID: 51d5f8

Stare at the table and try to see what those crazy scientists and philosophists call "atoms".
No. 62799 ID: 0d4666
File 125523817197.gif - (4.44KB , 640x480 , 5.gif )

>Whistle a jaunty tune while you wait.
Hey that's a good ide- by the gods was that in my HEAD? I must be drinking too much...
>Stare at the table and try to see what those crazy scientists and philosophists call "atoms".
Frak? Is that you?
No. 62800 ID: 9cc8fd

No. 62804 ID: 632862

We are not Frak. Don't worry, we're just some transdimensional entities that like to get into peoples heads to experience new worlds and have adventures. We give good advice. Usually.
No. 62806 ID: 476456

Or you're just fucking crazy. Take your pick.
No. 62828 ID: 0d4666
File 12552394714.gif - (4.08KB , 640x480 , 6.gif )

>We are not Frak. Don't worry, we're just some transdimensional entities that like to get into peoples heads to experience new worlds and have adventures. We give good advice. Usually.
Oh, okay then... I suppose it could just make this more fun.
>Or you're just fucking crazy. Take your pick.
Uugghh. Better call Frak in this one.
Archie: "Hey Frak, I have voices in my head but they say they are actually entities that give good advice and are just travelling from one world to another. What do you think? Over."
Frak: "I think you're just crazy. Over."
Now that's not a very good thing, right? Oh, well, I'll have to live with it.
Archibald takes a sip of his beer.
No. 62839 ID: 9e9b47


Chug that beer!
No. 62846 ID: d0ef8d

No. 62868 ID: 0d4666
File 125524154397.gif - (5.99KB , 640x480 , 7.gif )

Sure, why not.
Archibald chugs the beer. Meanwhile, a fat redhead man in his forties enters the saloon, surrounded by pretty young ladies.
No. 62869 ID: 9e9b47


Sit and wait to see what this guy does.
No. 62879 ID: d0ef8d

Order another beer.
No. 63080 ID: 0d4666
File 125527284075.gif - (5.77KB , 640x480 , 8.gif )

Yeah, that's the plan.
>Order another beer.
No, don't want to attract attention.
Hot Billy tells his concubines to wait outside. He pinches an ass and a tit, and then walks toward the nervous-looking bartender. They start talking, with the barman looking as scared as ever.
I can't understand their conversation from here, but I can see what looks like a gun under his vest.
Now what, crazy side of me?
No. 63103 ID: d0ef8d

If you think you've waited long enough, walk over all drunkenly and go "AAAYYYY BUDDY! LONG TIME NO SHEE -hic- HOWS ABOUT I BUY YOU A DRINKS , AYE?"
No. 63154 ID: 0d4666
File 125529211511.gif - (7.23KB , 528x403 , 9.gif )

Yes, I've waited long enough.
Let's do ths.
Archibald stands up.
He walks drunkenly over to Hot Billy, chuckling.
Hot Billy: "Huh? I don't know you, you fat, repulsive drunken pig. Now get away from me, unless you want to die from lead poisoning."

No. 63156 ID: d0ef8d

Aww... dun be like that... ere... lemme buy yah a drink, huh? like ol times! man... barten...bartneder let me tell you this guy righ there... one hell of a guy... shaved a bus full of puppy nuns he did... give the man a drink on me aye?
No. 63164 ID: 9e9b47


"Don't make such threats unless you're ready to be pushing up daisies."
No. 63228 ID: edfa36
File 125530932962.gif - (6.61KB , 640x480 , 10.gif )

(I finally got my tablet working! Aha!)
>"Don't make such threats unless you're ready to be pushing up daisies."
Won't that blow my cover?

Archie: "Aww... dun be like that... ere... lemme buy yah a drink, huh? like ol times! man... barten...bartneder let me tell you this guy righ there... one hell of a guy... shaved a bus full of puppy nuns he did... give the man a drink on me aye?"
Hot Billy: "Well, I guess I can't refuse some free beer. But watch it, pal, unless you want me to pull your plug."
The bartender fills up two glasses of beer and places them on the table while Archie and Hot Billy take a seat.
Billy: "So, chap, what's your name? And why should I know you?"

You know, I should put that powder in soon, because if he drinks more than half of his beer, he'll taste it.

Hot Billy takes a sip from his glass.
No. 63300 ID: d0ef8d

Let him go through his beer. Have a small bit of yours. When he's about half way done make some sort of sweeping hand gesture. Be all like "And -hic- Remember that one time? With the fish? It was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis big" and knock down his glass with your arm all accident like.

While he's distracted, discreetly put the powder in your own drink and go all like "Oh man... i'm so sorry... oh man oh man oh man... im so sorry... here, have mine... so sorry so sorry omg... I'll totally pay to have that cleaned. Seriously, take my beer, I feel so bad... oh god..."
No. 63378 ID: 9d41ab

This plan is nice, but knock his beer over sooner rather than later. If he drinks too much, he might not want yours.
No. 63409 ID: 10d05c
File 125536524242.gif - (9.97KB , 640x480 , 11.gif )

Perfect plan, voices!

Archie: "Oh, come on -hic-, Bill! It's me! Howard! -hic- Ya know, we went to the same school! Remember how we called ya... -hic-... 'Fat Billy'? Or was it -hic- 'Heavy Billy'? I cant remeber, -hic- really..."
Hot Billy: "Oh my god, it's you! Haven't changed a bit, Howie! Hahaha!"

Oh man, there's nothing funnier than mayking someone believe something false, especially when it's by fucking their own memory.

Minutes pass as they talk about fake things, and now Billy is almost halfway through his beer.

Now's the time!

Archie: "And -hic- Remember that one time? With the fish? It was thiiiiiiiii-"

Archie knocks down Billy's glass, and at the same time puts the powder in his own beer(it was contained in a little pouch in his pocket).

Archie: "Oh man... I'm so sorry...oh man, oh god, oh man... Ere, take mine... Oh god I'm so sorry, I'll pay to get that cleaned. Seriously, take my beer, I feel so bad..."
Billy: "Whoa, whoa, calm down. It's not a big deal. I'll buy anoth-"
Archie: "Billy, buddy, I insist. It's my fault and, you know, I'm ,uh, -hic- drunk enough..."
Billy: "Ermm, okay then. I suppose I can't say no..."

Just as planned.

The two men continue talking and Fat Billy finishes the beer.

Alright, now I should take him back to our headquarters since he should be docile as a guinea pig, but there's those ladies waiting outside...
No. 63425 ID: d0ef8d

Take the back exit.
alterntivly, go out the front, but tell him to treet you like a lady, and make those girls think he's gone gay.
No. 63496 ID: 4afac2

Try to somehow set the bar on fire.
No. 64378 ID: a363f0
File 125548604125.gif - (8.75KB , 640x480 , 12.gif )

>Back door
Fortunately, I left Gary here.
Oh, by the way, he's a talking horse.

Gary: "Sup, Archie, dawg!"
Archie: "Hello again, Gary."
Gary: "Hey, I forgot to ask you. What did this motherfucker do to earn a kidnapping?"
Archie: "Frak says he's abusing capitalism."
Gary: "I bet there's more to it than that, man."

Anyway, let's ride to the H.Q.(which is directly ahead)!

No. 64411 ID: 43d730

Test his intoxication first with a small but demeaning task.
No. 64438 ID: a363f0
File 125548884314.gif - (9.19KB , 640x480 , 13.gif )

As soon as we get to the base, Frak gets Hot Billy and ties him up against a chair.
Frak: "Now where is it, hmm?!"
Billy: "I don't what you're talki-"
Frak: "Black thirteen, obviously! Where is it, you pathetic capitalist pig? HUH?!"
No. 64444 ID: a363f0
File 125548911623.gif - (32.38KB , 640x480 , 14.gif )

Billy: "Oh... I see..."

No. 65358 ID: bda748
File 12557310731.gif - (13.38KB , 640x480 , 15.gif )

Hot Billy explodes.
No. 65363 ID: bda748
File 12557318154.gif - (10.39KB , 640x480 , 16.gif )

Frak: "We're doomed. We have no way of finding the orb. We're going to die."
[Note: this is not the orb of infinite psyche.]
He's doing it again, I see. Don't worry, voices, he won't pull the trigger, he'll change his mind.
No. 65365 ID: 9e9b47


Tell Frank that of course we'll find it. Say what is this orb anyhow? And how did that guy die?
No. 65370 ID: bda748
File 125573304614.gif - (10.41KB , 640x480 , 17.gif )

It is Frak, not Frank.
I have no idea why or how this guy blew up and Frak never talked about this "Black thirteen" before.
Archibald: "We'll find it, Frak. Don't worry."
With this I give him my best smile.
Frak: "You don't understand. I know where it is, but not how he got there so fast. The only way to get it would be to ride for months, but we don't have the time..."
No. 65371 ID: 9e9b47


Calm down a second and explain to me, Frak! What are you even talking about? Who's got the orb? Where is this place months away? There must be something we can do.
No. 65438 ID: 632862

Why do we need to find the orb so fast anyway?
No. 65836 ID: 6afdef
File 125583422736.gif - (9.19KB , 640x480 , 18.gif )


"By the gods, just explain it!"

Frak lowers his arm, probably more due to fatigue than hope.

"The world's geat clock tower is slowing and no God is there to fix", he explains. "As you may very well know, each of the divnities had a world of his and her own. Our universe's God, Joldur the Mad got bored and committed suicide. None other took care of us, since it was all chaos and destruction.
"Now time is slowing down, and it will soon completely stop. This means that we will lose consciousness forever, as dying.
"The only way of getting to another world would be finding any of the Wizard's Rainbow, but since they are all lost or destroyed, Black thirteen is the only one we can hope, even in the slightest, to get."

"And where is it?", I ask, frowning.

"At the edge of the world."

[Pic related, it's me and my bitch Joldur the Mad]
No. 65879 ID: 632862

Oh well how did we find out that Billy got to it?
No. 65907 ID: 6afdef
File 125584026554.gif - (18.66KB , 640x480 , 19.gif )

"How did you find out that Billy got to it?"

"You don't understand", Frak replies, exasperated. "He was the last person to have that ball in his hands, and I knew where he hid it. But now that I think of it, he must have created a porthole with the orb, as it is its primary utility. Anyway, I found that out checking the archives while you were out getting it on with the ladies."

Frak eyes his partner for while.

"Maybe you could go in an adventure to the edge of the world, because I can see you'd really like to. And when you finally get it, you could use a porthole to get here and we'll go in another world."

Should I?
No. 65913 ID: 632862

Okay so Billy used Black Thirteen to travel to the edge of the world, then hid it there and came back without it? He must have a partner back there and some way of contacting him to request a porthole.

Regardless, didn't Frak just say it would take too long to adventure on over there? I mean, it sounds like fun but it would be nice to know if it's even possible to make the trip in time.
No. 65918 ID: 9e9b47


"Another world?"
No. 66009 ID: 6afdef
File 125584367544.gif - (9.11KB , 640x480 , 20.gif )

"Okay so Billy used Black Thirteen to travel to the edge of the world, then hid it there and came back without it?"

"Well, you see, when you make a porthole, it only disappears after a few seconds, so you don't have to have Black Thirteen with you when you go through."

"And didn't you just say that we couldn't make the trip in time?"

"I... may have been wrong. I had forgotten that the orb could make portholes, so I was calculating the time for an out and home journey. Now that I reconsider it, you might have time to do side-quests, too."

Side-quests too? Oh boy, am I excited!
No. 66020 ID: 9e9b47


Nothing bad could possibly come from this black thirteen object. Let's go!
No. 66241 ID: 6afdef
File 125588946235.gif - (11.20KB , 640x480 , 21.gif )

"Let's go, then!"

"Here's a map of the world", Frak tells me. "We are west of Dry-Ass Town. Further west is the Devil's Lake of Sand, and you'd be lucky not to die there or get out crazy. Next: Undertown and Sanctaphrax. Then you'll get to the Greatwoods, which leads to the horrible Dark Mountains. After that, you'll enter the ruins of Foghorn, once a great castle. The fortress leads to a giant cliff, and no one knows what's on the bottom. If you make it through, you'll have to face the Venenous Marsh. And finally, you'll walk through the wastelands, at the end of which you'll get Black Thirteen. Got it?"

Sounds fun, doesn't it? I can't wait!
No. 66477 ID: 6afdef
File 125590578892.gif - (3.83KB , 369x408 , 22.gif )

Voices, I think I may need some equipment, and maybe a change of clothes. Care to help me?
No. 69701 ID: 1c48f4
File 125654365467.jpg - (65.93KB , 369x408 , ARCHIE NO FUKU.jpg )


Badge reads "LAW"
No. 90772 ID: bbae40
File 12606726064.gif - (6.07KB , 640x480 , 2-1.gif )

No. 90779 ID: bbae40
File 126067288284.gif - (17.26KB , 640x480 , 2-2.gif )

I have arrived in Undertown.

My journey has been extremely tiring, for I am cold, hot, hungry, thirsty, and probably crazy, as I have written in my journal.
I collapse on the ground, and I have time to write on last line:

'Date unknown: I die.'
No. 90781 ID: bbae40
File 126067291132.gif - (10.14KB , 640x480 , 2-3.gif )

No. 90785 ID: bbae40
File 126067309738.gif - (10.27KB , 640x480 , 2-4.gif )

A strange cat shaped like a balloon gets out of the ruined house.
No. 90800 ID: bbae40
File 126067394674.gif - (7.55KB , 640x480 , 2-5.gif )

Well, that was close, you guys. I think the kenkus died, though.

What now, wise voices?
No. 90805 ID: 5a9e00

Punch. Everything.
No. 90945 ID: aa1776

with your penis.
No. 91273 ID: bbae40
File 126075279622.gif - (9.01KB , 640x480 , 2-6.gif )

I don't see the point of that. I don't even have a phallus.


Ah? What is this in my paw? A note?
No. 91288 ID: 572086

that FUCKER. We will have our revenge! Loot the corpse! It's on now.
No. 91325 ID: 1b14b3
File 12607565349.gif - (11.29KB , 640x480 , 2-7.gif )

No. 91326 ID: 1b14b3
File 126075656386.gif - (8.54KB , 640x480 , 2-8.gif )

Oh... I see...
No. 91382 ID: 572086

We don't. Wanna 'splain.
No. 91677 ID: c39b60
File 126083183757.gif - (14.75KB , 700x700 , 2-9.gif )


Well, the world is coming to a end (or, rather, a stop) and the only thing I can do is find a black sphere that will teleport me to another world. Looks like I have something big to do.
I guess I'll have to start moving, then.

But my legs are so small, I'll never make it alone! I need a head on which to sit.

What kind of person do you suggest?
No. 91713 ID: 632862

Find someone who isn't a faceless drone.
No. 91736 ID: c39b60

(This is pure laziness from me. These guys are all different.)
No. 91772 ID: 632862

Oh. Well, this would be easier if there were choices already lined up but...

Try finding someone who looks like they've got experience traveling from town to town, and the stamina to do it. We need some brawn to go along with our brains. Also, equipment would be nice.
No. 91847 ID: 5a9e00

Agreed. Well endowed muscle chick is the only way to go.
No. 93117 ID: b1e5ec
File 126101885228.gif - (8.00KB , 700x700 , 2-10.gif )


Well, this Orc here looks like she fits the description...
No. 93120 ID: b1e5ec
File 126101902667.gif - (7.23KB , 700x700 , 2-11.gif )

But I wonder is she has experi-UGH

"Oh my god this thing is soooo cute! <3"

She is holding me so tight I can't even breathe! UGGHH
No. 93203 ID: a8cc4a

Well... this'll have to do then... I guess... BE EVEN CUTER. Get put on head!
No. 93216 ID: 43d730

No. 93657 ID: aab4aa
File 126110423467.gif - (10.67KB , 700x700 , 2-12.gif )

I look up at her and say, in my cutest voice:
"Nyaa~! Put me on your head head! Nyaa~!"
"D'aawww, how can I resist!"
She squeals and puts me on her head. I proceed to purr. What now?

(polite sage for reposting the update)
No. 94260 ID: 3ce41d
File 126120245825.gif - (7.78KB , 720x540 , 2-13.gif )

I don't know what to do either, voices.
The girl says, "Well, then, I'll go on my way, kitty-cat. Stay there~"

She walks into a house near a factory. It smells awful.

"I'm hooome!", she shouts.

A small, goatee-d man appears, peeking from the kitchen.

"Honey, what is this on your head? Get it out!"

He appears to be quite well-built, and rather... handsome.

"But, Lloyd, it's so cute, we leave it outside!"

"I said: Get it out, for Joldur's sake!"

Lloyd runs towards us, sword in hand. What should I do now?
No. 94267 ID: 632862

Jump onto his head, then start controlling his mind!
No. 94456 ID: 7b8ee0

[There's a typo in the above update: "But, Lloyd, it's so cute, we can't leave it outside!"]
No. 94760 ID: 563c55

Run toward him smile your face, looking like you want to give him a hug.

Then tragically be impaled on his sword, teaching him to never be so rash again.
No. 94832 ID: 7b8ee0
File 126127469919.gif - (8.66KB , 720x540 , 2-14.gif )

I lunge for his head.
"OH CRAP AAAAH", I scream.
With a wide arc with his sword, Lloyd cuts my right ear and right rear leg. Fortunately, I land on his face.
No. 95592 ID: c2686b
File 126136148863.gif - (15.02KB , 720x540 , 2-15.gif )

Lloyd goes berserk!
No. 95720 ID: 119b5c

Silence the fool.
No. 96550 ID: cc30fd
File 126150348772.gif - (7.96KB , 720x540 , 2-16.gif )

How the fuck am I supposed to do that? Scratch his face to death?
No. 96551 ID: c0f3bf

Jump off just before he strikes. He'll pull a dumbass guard that tried to attack Muschio!
No. 96562 ID: 632862

Sounds like a good plan to me.
No. 96563 ID: 739167

Try to leap back on the chick with nice tits.
No. 96702 ID: cc30fd
File 126152950431.gif - (9.76KB , 720x540 , 2-17.gif )

Great idea!
I leap off his face, but I my single leg is not strong enough to get me the girl's head.
Lloyd kills himself.
No. 96814 ID: cc30fd
File 126153969682.gif - (10.06KB , 640x480 , 2-18.gif )

Lloyd falls down with a thud.
No. 96815 ID: cc30fd
File 126153970913.gif - (3.89KB , 640x480 , 2-19.gif )

My monocle shatters.
No. 96824 ID: 632862

Run away while screaming "OH GOD PLEASE STOP"
No. 97219 ID: 35cea2

This looks like an excellent place not to be. Run outside, and jump in someone's pants to hide. Then tell him to go where you order him to, or else you'll scratch his dong.
No. 97639 ID: 6b1e7c

this is a good idea
No. 98113 ID: bbae40
File 126178914512.gif - (12.67KB , 640x480 , 2-20.gif )

I manage to a fastly drag myself between her legs. Outside, I jump into the nearest pants. The girl is very near.

"Do what I tell you or else I'll scratch your dong."

The man quickly complies.
No. 98278 ID: 476456

No. 98309 ID: 6b1e7c

No. 107744 ID: 2829c3

Throw a potato to the girl's face.
No. 108321 ID: 0248f1
File 12630957212.gif - (14.66KB , 640x480 , 2-21.gif )

"Throw a potato to her face," I say.

My host takes out a potato from his pocket and fires it at her.

The beast explodes in a cloud of smoke!
No. 108324 ID: 0248f1
File 126309579361.gif - (8.13KB , 640x480 , 2-22.gif )

A citizen walks up to us.
"Hey, that was my friend. You just killed my friend, you devil!"
The crowd looks at us angrily.
What now?
No. 108327 ID: 476456

..uhh...potato him too!
No. 108402 ID: 5a9e00

Yeah. If ever anyone was ever asking for a potatoing, its this guy right here.
No. 108484 ID: 0248f1
File 126310293149.gif - (10.74KB , 640x480 , 2-23.gif )

"Potato him too!"
One flying potato later, the annoying commoner vanishes. There is a gasp from the crowd. They encircle us, yet they keep their distance.
"Witch!" "It's a witch!" "Burn him!" "Witch!"
My host says, "I only have one left, by the way."
I have a bad feeling about this.
(polite sage for reposting)
No. 108491 ID: 632862

Does it actually kill people? If not, use it on us.
No. 108510 ID: 5a9e00

This is impecable logic. To the escape potato!
No. 108685 ID: 8ecfd4

Throw one at the ringleader and then vanish in a puff of smoke. Then we have to find a potatoe seller. In the hands of our host it's clearly the most devestating weapon the world has ever seen.
No. 108696 ID: d9faf1

Tell man to throw potato at himself, promising him he'll not die, but end up in a luxurious palace with a harem of fine maidens at his disposal.
When man explodes, escape.
No. 108697 ID: 476456

Solution:Make french fries.

very very quickly
No. 108699 ID: 8ecfd4

We're a 3-legged cat with stubs for legs. I doubt we cold outrun an angry snail, and angry mobs tend to move faster than snails.
No. 108700 ID: d9faf1

Why would the mob be angry at us?
It's angry at the french-looking-guy, no?
No. 108701 ID: 476456

alternatively fool them with the impeccable logic that a he is a man and therefor cannot be a witch.
No. 108702 ID: 8ecfd4

Yes, but we're connected to him. Angry mobs are not known for being rational and calm, they're known for irrational violence directed at whatever attracted their ire. I say we toss the potatoe at them and then tell the french looking guy to run like his balls depends on it.
No. 108868 ID: 0248f1
File 126316573529.gif - (11.15KB , 640x480 , 2-24.gif )

"What happens when you throw a potato at them? Do they die?"
"I think they're teleported somewhere. I do not know where, though."
"Alright then, throw it at us!"
"As long as you don't hurt my manhood..."

He throws a tater in the air, and when it falls down on us, we disappear. Poof!
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