BUM FIGHTS GO

kobold and elf

Protagonist M.Hobo
Helper Kobold

Kobold, Catgirl

it's not christmas without rampant homelessness.

BUM TIME.

Necro 2014/12/23(Tue)04:13 No. 614324 ID: 6c42b7
File 141933683860.jpg - (215.74KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

It's HOBOTIME!
You wake, up still half drunk from last night, dressed up in what seems to be a Santa outfit? That must have been a weird night! As your still foggy brain start to work properly, you notice that the bundle of clothes on your chest is actually a huge lizard! What the hell?

sweet, free pet lizard! will keep the bugs away.

>>614324

Get a little tipsy to avoid your drunk ass from feeling the effects of a full blown hangover after all that alcohol from yesterday night.

Question the lizard on your lap.

Necro 2014/12/23(Tue)04:42 No. 614331 ID: 6c42b7
File 141933856996.jpg - (297.38KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

Ah, the voices are back again?...Well, pet's are good attract more begging money and food... I should make a leash for it...hmm...
more focus return to your brain along with an headache...getting sober sucks...
>>614329gah, there is no booze around me! You grab the lizard and shake it, Where is the booze?!
"Yiiip, Please mister don't kill me! I haven't steal mister's boozshe! Mishter, I'm getting tipshy...From Your Breath?"
Holy shit! Lizards can talk now?

you are probably still pretty drunk then, hallucinating talking lizards.

>>614331

Breathe into the lizard until it is as drunk as you.

Transfer your drunk powers before they fade away, Drunk lich!

Necro 2014/12/23(Tue)05:42 No. 614337 ID: 6c42b7
File 141934217189.jpg - (184.37KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

The hell is a lich? Drunk powers?
>>614332
Shit, does that means I'm also hallucinating getting sober? Lizard! Help me stop hallucinating non drunkenness!
"...S-shure? C-glub cam you pleash put me down, first. I'm going to puke shoon..."
You let the lizard fall on the ground, it stumble a lot , then give up and fall.
Fuck why is my lizard drunk while i'm hallucinating sobering up?, life sure is shitty...
"M-mioster...ther ish apicture in the wall in front of me, itsh funny"

>>614337

Appreciate the smallest details in the picture the lizard is talking about.

check picture

You upset, and not enough smaha!
SMASHTHINGSSMASHASMASHASMASHA.

>>614337
Admire tail.

>>614337
Look around. Where you at?

Necro 2014/12/23(Tue)10:17 No. 614436 ID: 6c42b7
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>>614364
You admire the tail, Looks squishy, You grab it, yep, it's squishy
"Y-yip! M-mishter, Tt-hat'sh a v-very shenshitive shpot!"
Ah, sober up fast, so you can stop me from hallucinating getting sober!
"pweashe! l-let my tail go!"
It's to funny to play with it!
You admire what your lizard was talking about: It's a huge plasma TV with speakers, all of it mounted on a fireplace, shit looks fancy, You examine your surrounding, the room is empty besides the fireplace and a closed door, No bottons around.
"P-PLE-" suddenly An image appear on the TV and a man wearing a ridicolously bead mask, you imagine supposed to looks like a reindeer, speaks to you
>You are probably asking yourself why YOu are here?
Were is my damn Booze!
>The answer is clear, you have been a very bad person, The punishment should be death, but I'm a generous man, I'll give you a chance to leave, you just have to escape my dungeon.
I said where is my booze?!
You let the tail go
"Pant pant...T-thank you scary ghost in the picture...pant pant"
Why are you not-
>That of course if you manage to leave this room first Hahahahaha!

sounds look booze is outside the room. take a speaker, use it as a battering ram.

Smash TV.

Necro 2014/12/23(Tue)10:25 No. 614452 ID: 6c42b7
File 141935914009.jpg - (220.90KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>614357
You go bersek and vent you anger at the screen punching it so hard the wall crack and the fireplace stop burning
BOOOOOOOOZEEEEEEE!!!
"M-mishter! p-pleashe c-calm down...." she try to get back on her feet and fail again "I-I can Shmell gahs coming from the v-vent in the ceiling!"

>>614452
...is it booze gas?

(Assuming she says no). Well that's no good! Let's go find booze!

And then kool aid man smash right though the wall with drunk powers.

Necro 2014/12/23(Tue)10:30 No. 614456 ID: 6c42b7
File 141935940350.jpg - (187.87KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>614452
booze is out!
You take the speaker and throw it at the door, the speaker disintegrate thanks to all the strength you ave put behind it, but the door is undamaged, it's solid steel apparently

the log holder thing is metal. use that instead!

>>614456
Grumph. Check the stockings for booze.

Necro 2014/12/23(Tue)10:40 No. 614477 ID: 6c42b7
File 141936001756.jpg - (136.68KB , 943x787 , drunklizard.jpg )

Pause

Necro 2014/12/23(Tue)12:03 No. 614501 ID: 6c42b7
File 141936500163.jpg - (185.98KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>614474
stockings are fucking empty, you grab the log holder, and throw it, it bounce and breack too, it was made of cast iron!
Fuck! shit was hot!
"misther, I'm not feeling too wel-coucg cough... there is an hatch behind the logs!" she drag herself next to the entrance, I shee a butto-cogh" she faint

push button!

Necro 2014/12/23(Tue)12:18 No. 614505 ID: 6c42b7
File 141936588190.jpg - (208.45KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>614501
You push the butoon, the door behind you open and the soud of pumps start, the gas has been sucked uot of the room! Your lizard is still knoked out, you wonder why it was coughing...what should I do with it?

>>614505

Give lizard mouth to mouth breath, it obviously is suffocating.

the gas must have been toxic to lizards but not people.

>>614507
Our lizard partner already told us that she got tipsy from our breath, which lead to this. Doing mouth to mouth would be a bad idea

Necro 2014/12/23(Tue)12:48 No. 614518 ID: 6c42b7
File 141936771365.jpg - (231.57KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>614508
Most likely
>>614507
>>614515
>mouth to mouth
>no mouth to mouth
Blargh!
You shake the lizard again a bit, she wake up coughing, then she puke her gut out.
":< S-shorry mishter!"

eh, as a hobo you have seen so much puke. it doesn't bother you.

>>614518
Put her under your arm like a rolled-up carpet and go through the hatch.

>>614518

Drag your santa themed lizard out of harms way, keep moving until it starts talking cohesively again.

Necro 2014/12/23(Tue)13:53 No. 614565 ID: 6c42b7
File 141937160196.jpg - (151.63KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>614518
>>614540
I'm surprised is not mine... this made me remeber! I'm still sobering up, let's get to the booze! Aarhg!
"Y-yip!"
you put her under your arm and carry her out, you enter a new room there is some furniture in it, a closet and a bed; at the end of the room there are two doors and another TV

Necro 2014/12/23(Tue)14:22 No. 614573 ID: 6c42b7
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>>614565
the tv lights on, the same dude appear, this make you mad...Madder
>huhuhu, It seems that you have succeded~
>But will you survive this new room? There is onlt one exit form this room ,the other leads to death, Can you identify wich one hold the true Christmas spirit and lead you to the exit?

check drawers.

Necro 2014/12/23(Tue)15:16 No. 614595 ID: 6c42b7
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>>614573
You blatantly ignore the weirdo's stupid rant about xmas and shit,throw the lizard on bed with a loud pomf, then you check the drawers.
"Y-yip, W-waht are we gooing to do o-on the bed, mishter?
Wut? The gas must still be in her system...Shit, I'm thinking clearly and using actually scientific terms?! This is no longer me hallucinating geting sober- Oh shit there are 6 bottle of cheap whiskey in this!
You drink 3 whole bottles at once and pack the rest, You are now back to 80% drunkness from 20%
drunk power back to max!
blarg! sweet there is a bunch of candy canes and too!
the next drawers have some boots and many red socks
lame...
last one
Yes...A candy cane crowdbar! Hmm, now what?

>>614595

Respond the question of the lizard by telling her you will be going on a magical adventure.

Offer her one bottle of cheap whisky.

the real door is the one with red bits and spikey leaves. holly is super christmas.

>>614565
Right door has mistletoe, left is probably some sort of shitty green plant.

Open both doors at the same time. If any monsters come out, use drunk strength and crowbar to kill them.

Then take the door that doesn't have an obvious deathtrap you can see. And if the deathtrap isn't obvious, ask the lizard to check. Kobolds Lizards are good with traps, right? You're sure you heard that somewhere. Probably.

Necro 2014/12/24(Wed)02:40 No. 614842 ID: 5f9627
File 141941763664.jpg - (225.63KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>614598
she shake her had "N-no no, I'm fine...whoah, shhuoldn't have done it" she hold her head "can I sheee th,those socks...Getting cold"
aye, You throw the socks on the bed and she wear them
"T-there wash another pair in the bootsh!Wwaiiiit, thiss are glovesh!"
Who the fuck put gloves in their boots? Bah
>>614611
>>614615
Aye!
>Wait open both at the same time!
Why?
>ask the Kobold? I mean Lizard
Wut!?
Your alcool powers kick in and you smash the right Door
"M-mishter! Noo! there's a trap in it!"
nothing happen
What?! how do you know? the TV lights back on
>Nooo, you fool, you hould have open it normally!That was the wrong door, You should have opened it normally! The trigger was not activated that way!
Inside the door you see a sawed off shotgun with it's trigger linked to the knob by some weird rope works

Necro 2014/12/24(Wed)03:02 No. 614845 ID: 5f9627
File 141941892707.jpg - (199.37KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>614842
you are now down to 60% drunk
Every drunk power usage consume 20% of your drunk meter
Drunk powers aloow you to create a temporary plot armor, giving you an extra hint on how to solve a room
Lizard's trap sense allow her to pimpoit the location of trap, but not what it is or how it works

>>614842
>>614845

Use lizard powers to dissarm shotgun.

Obtain shotgun, become armed and dangerous drunk hobo.

Necro 2014/12/24(Wed)07:56 No. 614874 ID: 6c42b7
File 141943659792.jpg - (132.76KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

you loot the trap room, you recover 3 meters of nyolon string and a Christmas teemed sawed off shotgun, three bullets in it.
Great let's get out of this room!

Necro 2014/12/24(Wed)08:28 No. 614881 ID: 6c42b7
File 141943853471.jpg - (225.57KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>614874
the next room looks likee a really cheap xmas puzzle
Tv light's on again
>The previous room was too easy of a challenge I suppose...Well, let's see how you will be able to exit this new room without a way to reach the balcony!
"Thish weird p-painting reeeeally shound shtupid..."
>I HAVE HEARD YOU! YOU STUPID KOBOLD!"
"Y-yip!"
she jump behind you
"S_shcaaaryy!"
The hell is a kobold?

check couch, tree, and under the rug. then move the tree near the balcony and send you lizard up it.

>>614881

Use rug as a sling, shoot lizard on top of balcony and force it by gun point to press the lever.

Necro 2014/12/24(Wed)09:05 No. 614903 ID: 6c42b7
File 141944070929.jpg - (114.36KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>614886
Wut? How would I even? Lizard help me fid more booze!
"A-aye!"
I'll check the rug
Under the rug there is a pressure plate surrounded by holes
This look suspicious!
You are about to touch the pressure plate when your lizard call you.
"M-mishta...pleashe come here..."
She is sitting on the couch HOLDING BOOZE!
Just one bottle, tough.
Great, you are good lizard!

>>614903

Drink.

Make lizard check pressure plates.

chug booze, send to check plate while you move the tree.

Drink booze.

Couldn't we just pick the lizard up and put her on the platform with the lever? She's tiny, and you're tall.

>>614903
Drink till you fell no pain. Or feel nothing at all, actually

Necro 2014/12/24(Wed)10:44 No. 614952 ID: f5796b
File 141944669145.jpg - (178.02KB , 943x787 , =xmas.jpg )

>Drink the booze
>Chug it
>Drink it
Hell yoeah you chug the booze!
you are back at 80%
>Send Lizard to check the pressure plate
Lizard, check the pressure plate...
"Th-that'sh an obvioush fire trap misther...It gets activated by pushing the..big presshure plate..."
Ah, well, do you think I could lift you high enough to reach the balcony?
"N-no no! I'm too shortand I'm not wearing underwear..."She blush
What, I could not hear the last bit
"nothing!"

>>614952
She looks so adorable. Also, repeatedly question her about that last bit.

>N-no no! I'm too short
Well, we could throw her up that high, then.

Or you could just force her to climb the Christmas tree. Lizards climb, right? And it's the right height to reach the switch.

>>614952
Shove the tree next to the balcony so that it can be climbed up.

>>614952
wedge the couch into the corner on its side. then, climb it with your little helper, then lift her up high enough that she can reach it.

Necro 2014/12/24(Wed)12:52 No. 614999 ID: 6c42b7
File 141945432669.jpg - (128.19KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>614964
throwing her look slike a pain in the ass...I'll just drag this tree closer as we decided before
>>614955
Pets tend be adorable, duh!
Lizard, are you sure you have nothing to say to me?
"Sh-shure! I'm cclearly not h-hidingh something about myshelf!"
She sound legit...Why you wanted me to ask it?
Anyway...He drags the tree under the balcony
Climb up!
She get a little red and move around the tree facing the direction opposite of where you are, then jump on the platform and hury up to pull the lever down
"D-done!"the door click open "Ccan you go c-check if the door is o-open?D-don't worry about me c-climbing down the tree...I-it'sh p-perfectly sh-shafe.."
That oes not sound like the best idea, should I go?

>>614999
just jump, i'll catch you.

Necro 2014/12/24(Wed)13:35 No. 615044 ID: 6c42b7
File 141945693220.jpg - (246.40KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>615003
Just jump, I'll catch you!
"A-are You Sh-Shure you d-don't want to check the door? I-I'm a pr-pretty capable climber!"

Get your butt down here, I need you to check the door for traps before I open it.

>>615044
Go look at the door.

>>615044

Topple down the tree while being drunk. Force her to jump down.

Necro 2014/12/24(Wed)14:52 No. 615084 ID: 6c42b7
File 141946153944.jpg - (260.46KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>615077
You, accidentally,the tree
OPS!Now jump down! I need your help to see If there are traps on the door!
"Y-yip!"She turn even redder"F-f-fine..." she do her best to cover herself and jump.
"H-have y-you sheen?"
You are confused.
Of course I have seen it? Otherwise you will have been on the ground!Why everyone have weird question for me today?

>>615084

Gain relationship points for making her ashamed.

Head to door to check for traps.

Look at your drunk meter.

Put lizard on floor, pet head like a dog. Tell her to go check the door.

Tell her to look at the door, make sure its not trapped and then if its not open.

Necro 2014/12/25(Thu)07:57 No. 615353 ID: 6c42b7
File 141952306244.jpg - (151.34KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>615125
you put Your lizard down and pet her head.
Good job up there!
"T-thanksh...Gosh..I need to find pantiesh fast!"
What? You should learn of to not mumble so much! People can't hear your last words!
"S-shorry M-Mishter.." she giggle a bit
You pet her head more.
Now, see if the door is trapped again, this guy is crazy.
"Aye" she trots towards the door

Necro 2014/12/25(Thu)08:05 No. 615354 ID: 6c42b7
File 141952350147.jpg - (232.36KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>615089
your shenanigans have improved your relationship levels
Your drunkness went beck to 60 thanks to the tree punching action.
"OK, the door is clear!"

>>615354
First off, before we head out, ask if she has a name. We can't really be calling her 'lizard' all the time. If she doesn't find one that suits her.

Lizards don't have names, silly! Just like they're not supposed to talk. You're drunk.

Go through the door. Next room.

Necro 2014/12/25(Thu)14:51 No. 615433 ID: a4ca15
File 141954791573.jpg - (384.35KB , 1113x787 , 0update.jpg )

>>615355
>>615376
Even if It is an hallucination, Are we going to pass on the chance to not having to think about a name for our pet?!
Lizard!
Y-yesh?
Good job!
"Y-yip! Thanksh!"
Do you have a name?
"D-doo you really care?"
Why the fuck not?
she smile happily "It'sh Emerald! People usually just call me Lizard, so I got used to it..."
That's a cute name! (My subconscious must have some cute parts in it...)
"Eeeh!" She get red again " Thanks!Uhh..What'sh yoursh m-mishter?"
I have forgot...One too many drinks most likely. Anyway, let's go!
"A-aye!"

Necro 2014/12/25(Thu)15:11 No. 615438 ID: a4ca15
File 141954906937.jpg - (211.87KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>615433
you enter the next room. Inside there is more forniture a small fireplace and three big present boxes.
>Hohoho! I'm impressed you two succeeded in making it this far! To congratulate with you I gave you this presents, I'm sure you would find them lovable~
Sweet! Presents!
Emerald grabs your arm "Yoou shhould not trust h-him..."
Why, He said we got presents?
"..."

>>615438
...he DID try to kill you twice already. Poke a present with a chair.

Yeah, you're drunk, but even you know this is a trap.

Go check the presents for traps, trap finding emerald lizard thing.

She is good at finding booze and traps, just drink some more and let her check the room. Easier than you wasting your Drunk powers on searching stuff than breaking stuff

>>615438
Remember, Emerald is a trap detector. Those presents that asshole wants you to have is probably filled with something either extremely painful for the both of you, or something worse.

Necro 2014/12/29(Mon)14:24 No. 616517 ID: 6c42b7
File 141989189660.jpg - (149.15KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

Sorry for the sudden hiatus, what should have been half day of work to my old work place turned out into 3!

>>615439
right...so...
>>615442
I'm no good with trap
>Go check the presents for traps, trap finding emerald lizard thing.
What?!
>>615446
Aye!
Liz- Emerald!!
"Yesh?!" she smile pleased by hearing her name
Look for traps and booze!
Mishter...I can actually shmell what'sh ii-iinshide form here...g-goblinsh..."

slither up a tree to get a good look around.

>>616517
SMASH GOBLIN BOXES!

Use drunk strength to pick up the table and smash the goblins in their boxes.

Throw one of the boxes into the fireplace.

>>616517
Enact murderhobo Mayhem

kick one box into the fireplace, lift up another, and smash it into the third.

Necro 2014/12/30(Tue)01:17 No. 616749 ID: e07928
File 141993106777.jpg - (132.88KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>616527
There is a small tree right out of your field of vision,as in every other room, but it's too short for L-Emerald to climb
>>616529
>>616668
>>616702
>RAGE! and throw one box in the fireplace!
Done.
A burning goblin can be heard screamthe other two jump out of their boxes before you can smash the other two
>>616563
>apply table to goblins
With your drunk strength you lift the glass table, for some miracle it does not shatter as you lift it(hobo plot armor on) and squash the goblins under it.
A shower of glass coveer the ground and the goblin are dead as hell.
>You have killed my little elves, you monster! The just wanted to hug you with their kniv- just hug you!
The door is now open

Light a chair on fire and step forth to explore the next room.

>>616749
loot goblin knife for Emerald. A cutting tool might be handy even if she can't fight

Be sure to check the room for booze before going onwards.

>>616759
Good choice. Knives can be used for picking locks and uh, trap stuff, right?

>You have killed my little elves, you monster!
Hey, they were my presents, I can break em if I want to.

Take the poker from the fireplace, too.

Let's not forget we have a shotgun. Next enemy we face, maybe it'd be better to use the shotgun instead of a glass table.

Necro 2014/12/30(Tue)10:47 No. 616829 ID: e07928
File 141996524588.jpg - (391.07KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>616753
I'm burning a chair!
"W-wut?"
To make torches!
"EH? C-can't you craft one?"
You look at her dumbfounded.
...I do.
"Pff" She hugs you "You are crazy, but alsho my besht friend mishter!"
-You gain tree torches
>Loot Tiem!
you grab the two knife from the non charred goblins and give them to your lizard friend.
This way you will be able to defend yourself.
She nods"thanks"

>>616829
Emerald is such a qt. Also, ask whether she can smell any booze.

Necro 2014/12/31(Wed)08:53 No. 617015 ID: 6c42b7
File 142004478572.jpg - (100.32KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>616829
As you enter thenew room they annoying voice of you captor echoes in your hears
>So, you monsters decided killing my little Christmas elves was not enough?, You had to loot their bodies?
"El-Elvesh? Those goblins?"
>ELVES!
Emerald jump behind you again ":<"

Avoid stepping over the holes in the floor and ask how many damn liters we need in the bowl.

>You had to loot their bodies?
Of course I did! I unwrapped my presents and then took my stuff. Couldn't just leave it there.

>holes in the floor
You don't even need to be a lizard to know that's a trap.

>>617015
Quick! Before that asshole says anything else, ask Emerald to scan for any traps.

>>617015
This looks like a puzzle. Stare blankly at it until Emerald solves it for you.

Necro 2015/01/01(Thu)14:03 No. 617303 ID: 37a50d
File 142014978428.jpg - (131.95KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>617019
What? I unwrapped my presents and then took my stuff. I ungrateful should I've have been to refuse your presents?
>...anyway you need to put 4 liter of water in the bowl using those 3 liters anf 5 liters containers, otherwise the room will burn! Hahahahahah
>>617033
....
"Wh-why are lo-looking at me?"
You stare at her more
"I-I'm too drunk for this thingsh either...A-are we doomed?"

Fill the five liter container and pour it's contents into the three liter container pour the two remaining liters from the five liter container into the big bowl then repeat that process a second time.

C'mon, you know fluid volume! Just pretend it's booze.

If you take 5 bottles of booze, and pour it into 3 bottle of booze, you're left with two bottles of booze. And 2 and 2 is four!

So fill the 5, use it to fill the three, and dump the leftover in the middle. Repeat and you'll have 4 in the middle.

I just thought of an alternative so that instead of pouring two liters in the middle twice we can pour four liters in at once. Fill the 5 liter container, empty three liters into the three liter container, empty the three liter container on the floor and pour the remaining two liters into the three liter container. refill the five liter container and pour one liter to fill the three liter container back up and the five liter container will have four liters exactly.

>>617313
This.

>>617313
and if we can't measure 2 liters in a three leter container? just do the long way.

Why not just use the empty booze bottles? They're usually 1l or 2l in capacity.

>>617328
We don't know if doing it the long way activates the trap once 2 liters are put into the bowl. The guy who is steering us through this obviously wants us dead.

Ask Emerald to check if putting just 2 liters in the bowl activates the trap.

Necro 2015/01/02(Fri)03:43 No. 617461 ID: 65aa03
File 142019901595.jpg - (119.14KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>617340
Y-yip!...Y-yeah... ..it'sh rig-rigged sho it will fry ush if we don't do it in one passhage...

Necro 2015/01/02(Fri)04:49 No. 617465 ID: 65aa03
File 142020297429.jpg - (341.43KB , 943x787 , =xmas.jpg )

>>617313
Then let's do this!
"It'sh A great Idea!"She looks at you with a bit of awe"Wait...A-are you shtill drunk?"
*GLUB*What?
drunk meter back to 60%
"Nevermind..."She proceed to solve the puzzle.

Necro 2015/01/02(Fri)06:46 No. 617468 ID: 65aa03
File 142020998056.jpg - (164.07KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>617465
the small latar sink into the ground and a ladder is lowered down.
>W-what?! You solved it?! Dammit!
"Yesh!" she then start to fidget and blush "Go firsht?"

Necro 2015/01/02(Fri)06:51 No. 617469 ID: 65aa03
File 142021028394.jpg - (108.91KB , 943x787 , =xmas.jpg )

>>617468
update done, sorry, got a busy day

Oh, isn't that cute, she's afraid we may try to peek up her dress while she's on the ladder. Fine, go ahead and go first.

>"Go firsht?"
Then who's going to check the top of the ladder for traps?

You force her to go first, you WANT to peek under her dress.

>>617468
Yeah okay. If there some goblins or something at the top it makes sense for the big guy to go first.

>>617499

If worse comes to worse, she will be able to detect him as a trap, and we will be able to get some of our drunk ex machina powers to save her.

Send her first.

>>617477
I second this.

Necro 2015/01/03(Sat)10:53 No. 617705 ID: 69ea4e
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You tilt your head ...But I can't sense traps!
"A-ah- B-but what if there are g-goblinsh or shomething?"
You just have to let yourself fall again?
She get Redder"F-f-fine...H-hey Mishter..."
Yes?
"L-lookup only if y-you h-hear me say help..pleashe?"
Why?
>.< "pleaaashe!"
OK
she climb up
"It'sh dark ash hell here!"

>>617705
Investigate the thing on the right.

Well get off the ladder so Mister can climb up the rest of the way.

>>617705
climb up with a torch. she clearly needs light.

>>617705
She needs a torch, but said not to look up.
So climb up without looking up! Just hold the torch far out to the side so it won't burn her.

>>617760
She better get off the ladder first though, don't think she wants us to just ram our head into her bottom.

Necro 2015/01/04(Sun)09:32 No. 617859 ID: 69ea4e
File 142039277474.jpg - (301.07KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>617714
Emerald can't hear your voices.
Need a torch,then, I'm coming up!
"W-wait!" she let herself fall "Help!"
You react just in time to stop her from falling on the ground, she is as red as her dress

Necro 2015/01/04(Sun)11:52 No. 617902 ID: 69ea4e
File 142040116999.jpg - (349.22KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>617859
"Shorry..."
Don't worry. let's see what's up there.
The hobo use his drunk breath to start the torch and start to climb the ladder.
The room is now illuminated!
You see that the ground and the walls are covered in small sharp spikes, with only a few paths free.
Welp!
"Ho! so that's was the huge trap response I felt!"
>You can't use a torch here! It's cheating! Nooo! That's not fair!

Well, navigate the path. Walk on the not-spike parts.

>You can't use a torch here! It's cheating! Nooo! That's not fair!
What kind of Christmas is it without Christmas lights?

Necro 2015/01/05(Mon)04:53 No. 618252 ID: 6c42b7
File 142046238491.jpg - (303.13KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>617993
Dude, do You Really Mean you have no torches lit for CHRISTMAS? Do you even like it?!
>Ha! Noo, I love Christmas! I-I was just joking! Y-yeah...You are free to use the torch!
Emerald covers her mouth trying her best not to laugh. "PFF"
>WHAT!?!
"Y-yip!"she hugs you again in fear, You pet her head and walk on the clear path reaching the door. You look at her with inquisitive expression, she shake her head "The door is not trapped".

Necro 2015/01/05(Mon)06:32 No. 618259 ID: 6c42b7
File 142046833244.jpg - (163.04KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>618252
You open the door, what's inside does not look pleasant...
>Hohohoh, there are only a few rooms betwen you and freedom~
"Y-yip! Wh-what are all those claws marks! Is...Is that all bl-bl-blood!
...
>Those claws mark haven't be made by a reindeer I tried to genetically engineer into a perfect sexual partner...definitely not...
Emerald grabs your arm, she is shivering "Wh-ehat do we do?"

You tried making a deer into a sexual partner? What kind of freak are you?

Pick up broken axe. The drunk don't care what shape their tools are in.

Check the drawers on the left, after lizard checks if they're trapped. At least one of you should be watching the end of the hall at all times so you can't be surprised.

What are those red things on the walls?

send emerald to check the dresser.

>>618259
Draw ye shotgun. Maybe fate will favor you and it has buck-shot in it.

Necro 2015/01/06(Tue)02:37 No. 618477 ID: 6c42b7
File 142054062203.jpg - (194.92KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>618260
A Christmas freak apparently...
>>618292
the same shitty decoration he has placed everywhere...
>>618270
Yo grab the axe and start to walk closer to the drawers. Emerald, check the drawers, I'll guard the hallway.
"A-aye!" she open the first drawer "Shcore! t-three roundsh for the shotgun and two more b-bottlesh!" before she can open the next you hear a gurgling sound coming from the hallway

Load shotgun (if it's not loaded) and turn and prepare to unload into the monster (you know, assuming it attacks).

Necro 2015/01/06(Tue)10:08 No. 618502 ID: 6c42b7
File 142056771849.jpg - (258.82KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>618492
You load the shotgun, it's now fully loaded.

Also have a reminder of the character status and relationship meter (to find out what ??? stand for you must fill both relationship bars)

Necro 2015/01/06(Tue)10:16 No. 618503 ID: 6c42b7
File 142056816176.jpg - (263.22KB , 943x787 , 0storytime.jpg )

You push Emerald behind you and ready your shotgun,the gurgling sound grow in volume , then...A nightmare show it's face.

Just shoot it.

apply liberal amounts of bullets

Aim for its limbs to cripple it.

Survival/Horror 101

>>618503
waitwaitwait offer it a candycane!
Or at least toss one at it to see how it reacts.

Lure it backwards through a few rooms. Make it run into traps you were smart enough to avoid.

>>618503
Have Emerald throw it a candy cane, if it makes any move to attack, take out its leg, then its face. (should be easier to hit if injured)

Necro 2015/01/07(Wed)12:09 No. 618702 ID: 6c42b7
File 142066135522.jpg - (158.66KB , 943x787 , 0storytime.jpg )

>shoot a lot
>shooot
>at it's limbs
Yo aim at it's legs, It remove a nice chunk of muscle form both legs, but fail to brake it's bone.
This are small game shots!
The beast does not even seems to notice. It turns to face you, revealing a much more disfigured side of it's face. and roars!

>>618702
SEDUCE HORROR

Fucking useless shotgun. Wield the axe and take it on like a MAN.

>This are small game shots!
Who loads a trap with bird shot?!? Damn stupid criminals can't do anything right.

Use the coat rack as a polearm to keep it at a distance. Push it against the wall if possible so little Kobold can start stabbing.

Music will soothe its savage heart. Sing "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer".

Necro 2015/01/08(Thu)17:08 No. 618960 ID: 6c42b7
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>>618702
You roar even louder and charge, grabbing the steel coat rack while running.
The beast is slightly taken back by your unexpected reaction and fail to avoid your improvised polearm; the shitty plastic angers on top of the coat rack break almost instantaneously, but the steel body prove itself solid enough to lodge inside the creature ribcage and through the wall behind it, leaving it stuck and bleeding.
The creature is not dead tough

Take the axe and behead it!

sing a prayer to Krampus.

Leave one hand on the coatrack, holding him in place, draw axe with other hand and begin slashing like a drunken madman.

Necro 2015/01/09(Fri)15:06 No. 619115 ID: 6c42b7
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>>619050
you push the coat rack further in it's ribcage, the wall feels like paper to you now, then grab the axe and apply it to the creature head and arm, after you are done both the beast and the wall are destroyed, literally!
There was another wall hidden under the one you pinned the beast!
"W-WOW!" Emerald looks at you in awe "A-are you really a human?"

Hah monster was little baby.

>>619115
Another wall? Stick the torch in there to see what's going on.

Bah, your a drunk dude! DRUNKEN MASTER OF HOBO WHISKY, Better then human.

Anyways see if you can't peel away some more of that wall.

>A-are you really a human?
No, you're superhuman.

Drink booze to celebrate victory.

Take your Axe, stick your head in and say HEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY!

>>619115
"Yep. Humans can do anything~ put a man on the moon, put a drunk in a santa suit."

Necro 2015/01/12(Mon)14:08 No. 619924 ID: 6c42b7
File 142110050956.jpg - (158.09KB , 943x787 , 0storytime.jpg )

I'm definitely human! We can do lots of shit
You move closer to the hole and are about to put your head in the wall, when Emerald grab you clothes.
"P-plashe..."
You look at her puzzled
"T-throw a torsch in it firsht..."
Aye! you put yoyr torch in it, the room looks empty, save for a steel ladder and a series of random pipes
The speakers of the room crackle on
>S-stoooop!You can't enter there! I-it's dangerous! Y-yess, much too dangerous! stay away from it!

good thing you are too drunk to worry about danger!

>>619924

Remove wall piping.

Acquire new weapon to smash things with. Make sure to have pipe for your little companion suitable for her little frame.

And Needless to say, get in there!

Don't mess with the pipes, they could be full of hot water or sewage. Expand the hole in the wall so you can fit through and go see what's up that ladder!

>>619924
So the dude that's trying to kill you in various unusual ways is saying THIS is too dangerous.

Welp. Treat it like it actually might be dangerous, like everything else, and climb!

Necro 2015/01/14(Wed)07:55 No. 620340 ID: 6c42b7
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>>619925
Ha, who cares!
"You're bad at lying Yo!"
>>619935
>Pipes are cool!
Yeah!
>>619937
>Pipes are full of shit
Yeah, Always saying unbelievable crap!
>And burning hot water
that's not pleasant either...
Blargh! You widen the hole enough for both of you to enter.
The wall collapse relatively easily and you realize the floor is actually a floor below yours, and the ladder go up three more floors, at every floors there is a catwalk leading to a door.
>Nooooo! Why I had to be cheap on those dividing walls! Stop cheating in my beautiful dungeon!

Yell that you don't want his damn cake and throw the power switch.

>Stop cheating
We're not cheating, we're playing by house rules. That's how you roll at Christmas. Playing a normal game would take too long!

>>620340
inhabit the crawlspace for generations to come.

well, a one story drop wouldn't KILL you, but it WOULD suck. Is that string you got strong enough to safely lower yourself or emerald to the floor?

I mean, if all else fails we can just look the the walls on the inside and find a wall where the catwalk touches the edge, and batter holes in the wall on our side over there until everything is good again.

Necro 2015/01/15(Thu)14:17 No. 620542 ID: 6c42b7
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>>620343
What cake?
>Ah, r.right, don't go there! I have cake for Y-
The light switch get turned down by Emerald using the axe handle, which actually fizzle a little before the current gets cut down.
Why you did that? He was going to offer cake to us!

"The cake is a lie."

Necro 2015/01/15(Thu)14:23 No. 620544 ID: 6c42b7
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>>620519
Ah.. I did not refreshed in a while...I just made them jump....

>>620542
Look like I said you don't want his cake. Given everything you've learned of him so far would you really want to trust his baking products? If this floor is one beneath the one you were just on does that means it is the floor you started on? If so I would be curious what had been underneath where you started. So let's go down a floor and see what's there.

Necro 2015/01/17(Sat)09:51 No. 620696 ID: 6c42b7
File 142151709956.jpg - (274.11KB , 1414x1416 , =xmas.jpg )

>>620543
Emerald hugs You"Sh-shorry, but th-that wash a lie...."
Oh...Son of...
You pet her head in return, she smile awkwardly.
>If it existed it was probably going to be shitty and poisoned anyway, no big deal!
"S-so...now what? I-I have t-to climb up first again, right?" She makes a deep sigh
>on which floor you are? Explore the one below too!
Not this time.
She makes a surprised smile "R-really?!"
Of course, we climb down first!
She pouts"T-that's not funny" she then laughs at the joke and shake her head "Ok, It wash..."
she climbs down.
"N-nothing sheems different here, I think thish issh the floor we shtarted on..."

So the floor below is where we started and the floor directly above is the second floor we got too. Are we on a completely unexplored floor then? See if there are any doors on this level.

Given how relunctant she tends to be about climbing, maybe you should just have her hold onto your shoulder while you do the climbing. She could warn you about any traps she senses, while you'll be ready to beat up anything mean. Teamwork!

Necro 2015/01/17(Sat)11:06 No. 620701 ID: 6c42b7
File 142152161341.jpg - (518.32KB , 1414x1416 , =xmas.jpg )

>>620697
the floor hoboman is on is the one you were when you killed the deer.
Emerald is on the floor you started on

Necro 2015/01/17(Sat)11:12 No. 620702 ID: 6c42b7
File 142152194635.jpg - (214.35KB , 1414x1416 , =xmas.jpg )

Suddenly! Something start banging violently on the door on first floor, the one Emerald is on, the door looks like it will break any moment

Necro 2015/01/17(Sat)13:39 No. 620719 ID: 6c42b7
File 142153075302.jpg - (291.02KB , 1414x1416 , =xmas.jpg )

>>620702
M-mister! there is a cabinet full of booze!, should I get it or should I just run upstairs?

Don't let her get close unprotected even for booze.

You might want to grab that fire axe quickly. Then she can grab booze while you defend her.

Jump / slide down ladder at then mention of booze. You'll destroy whatever is coming through the door to protect your booze!

>>620719

GET THE FOCKING BOOZE! WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?

>>620719
Get down there and show whatever that thing is how you REALLY bash a door down

>>620791
Hahaha, it would be funny if they were bashing down the door, and then we bashed down the door INTO them. Try that!

Necro 2015/01/20(Tue)08:17 No. 621293 ID: 6c42b7
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>>620726
BOOOOOOZE! Step aside Emerald!
"A-aye!?"
You slide down the ladder drink another bottle of booze and get ready to charge
"M-mishter?!"
I'll show them HOW you bash a door down!
"W-wha-"

Necro 2015/01/20(Tue)08:26 No. 621295 ID: 6c42b7
File 142177119932.jpg - (343.14KB , 1414x1416 , =xmas.jpg )

You sprint, the door hinges looks like they are about to break. Too late! You slam against
the metallic door, it bends inward and fly inside the room, turning half of the undead deer into a mush splattered against the wall.
"A-amazing!"

>>621295
give others in room one opportunity to surrender.
Give candy to nice ones.
Splat naughty ones.

Can't tell if the one in back is sighing or grunting. They certainly do look more... Lively than the first one, though! Maybe these ones aren't monsters. Try talking to them!

>You slam against the metallic door, it bends inward and fly inside the room, turning half of the undead deer into a mush splattered against the wall.
Roll to intimidate the remaining monsters.

>>621295
...wait, are these Santa's reindeer? What happened to them? Put them out of their misery.

Can you remember their names, nameless bearded hobo?

Necro 2015/01/24(Sat)14:04 No. 622009 ID: 6c42b7
File 142213707314.jpg - (311.36KB , 1060x1062 , =xmas.jpg )

>Can you remember the name of Santa's deers?
.....I managed to forgot my name....How do you think I could remember those?
>>621297
>>621311
OK! I'll give you one chance! Surrender and I'll give you a candy don't and-
Emerald start to pull your sleeve "M-mishter...T-those thing looks ag-aggressive!"
The creatures turn toward you menacingly and start to growl

Necro 2015/01/24(Sat)14:11 No. 622011 ID: 6c42b7
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Better safe then sorry, they say...
>>621433
You roll CRITICAL!

Necro 2015/01/24(Sat)14:22 No. 622015 ID: 6c42b7
File 142213813286.jpg - (255.23KB , 1060x1062 , =xmas.jpg )

>>622011
You Roar loud enough that the first undeer collapse on the ground, ears bleeding, the others two are stunned and in pain.
Emerald predicted your action and covered her ear holes "I-I've felt it in the bonesh!"
Now what?!

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

Finish them.

Hoist Emerald onto your shoulders and rush up the ladder before they recover. When they move to follow we can just knock the first one off of the ladder and let them both be smashed by their fall.

Necro 2015/01/30(Fri)12:27 No. 622871 ID: 5cd1a2
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>>622018
>>622027
>FINISH HIM
Aye!
You buty the axe in the closer undeadeer, the creature skull prove to be surprisingly soft!
The axe cut is head in two and hit the concrete below, this prove to be the end of your already damaged weapon as the handle snap.
Fuck!
The two others creature have recovered!

Necro 2015/01/30(Fri)13:11 No. 622875 ID: 5cd1a2
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You hear Emerald shouting from behind you "Mishter!" She is dragging the large axe that was outside the room.
Great! you rush toward her and grab the axe.
"T-thanks!I-I've alsho got the booze!"
You are the best! You drink the whole bottle in one gulp
"Eeeh!T.thanksh..."

Necro 2015/01/30(Fri)13:51 No. 622885 ID: 5cd1a2
File 142265469668.jpg - (330.02KB , 1060x1062 , =xmas.jpg )

>>622875
Before you can do anything Emerald shout "Behind you!"
The closer one is almost on you! Suddenly A knife get stuck in its neck,the thing gurgle incoherently before his head fall to the ground, removed by your axe as does the last one.
You turn toward Emerald, she has a second knife ready "I-I..."
That was Great! Good job!
Emerald face turn as red as her dress"Y-yip! T-thanksh..."
Hmm, now what?

>>622885
Well, what's in the area?

>>622885
Sit her in your lap and ask her what she wants for Christmas this year

Loot the place. Check the stockings and behind that curtain thing.

Recover thrown knife.

Is this room a dead end, or is there another door? Is there stuff here?

Wait a minute... The lizard threw a knife? Lizards can't do that, and there's no way you could have just drunkenly imagined that.
Clearly, the drunk imagination must be going in the opposite way: She's actually a woman, who you're seeing as somewhat of a lizard!

Necro 2015/02/03(Tue)01:45 No. 623362 ID: 3836f6
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>>622891
>>622942
>>622950
you look around...Emerald confirm that there are no other doors into the room
"Th-there are only thish whooden cr-cr..boxesh and this two bags, they make a weird squishy shound if you poke them...C-can we shkip the shqushy bagsh?"
>>622969
...But I've held her a few times, she feels quite lizardlike to me, Tough a talking lizard is a s weird...Bargh!
Hoboman is utterly confused
"M-mishter? Y-you OK?"
I'm Confused! Emerald are you really a huge lizard that talks or I'm hallucinating it?
"...W-wha?! W-what elshe sh-should I be?"she looks sad "Y-you shtayed with m-e because y-you though I-I wash shomething elsh? A-a-are going to leave m-me now?"

Nah. You've been sticking with her because she's friendly and useful. You just don't get how she can be a talking lizard. Ask for an explanation of what she is exactly.

What? No. We clearly thought you were what you are. Then we got confused and/or more drunk and began to ponder whether what we thought was what really was, and wanted to make sure that it wasn't what we hadn't thought it was. But, as you have now confirmed, it was what we thought so it wasn't what we hadn't, so we thought correct, so nothing has really changed. Good talk, let's go smash more Christmas horrors, drink more alcohol, avoid more traps, and learn the true meaning of whatever day it really is.

Necro 2015/02/06(Fri)04:08 No. 623749 ID: 3836f6
File 142322452569.jpg - (370.67KB , 994x894 , 0fight.jpg )

>>>623474
Blargh!
You fall on the ground catatonic.
"Mishter!" Emerald lays you in a safety position
"M-mishter wake Up!" after a few seconds you regain conciousness
Sorry, My brain was resetting itself...
You pet her head.
I was just making sure you are actually who you are and not some drunken delusion.
I've been drinking a whole fucking lot so far!
She smile a little relieved "Hehe..yeah..."
>>623363
So don't worry about me leaving you! I'm being with you because you are helpful and I like to
have you around.
She blush a little "T-thanksh..."
I'm just curious on what you are, I did not know lizard could talk!"
"I-I'm a kobold..."she notice your utterly blank expression "I-intelligent lizardsh living underground...N-never heard of my kind?"She looks a bit troubled.
Nope! But I've also never heard of deer zombies, sooo...anyway lets loot!
"A-aye!"
< Do I still open the suspicious squishy bags or let them be? >

Squish squishy bags. Obviously.

Necro 2015/02/09(Mon)06:02 No. 624215 ID: 3836f6
File 142349055756.jpg - (217.00KB , 994x894 , 0fight.jpg )

Aye!
You stick your crowbar into the nearest crate and open it up, the force you put into it "was a bit too much" and the crowbar hit the squishy bag above sending it fly, it fall on the ground with a loud splat and start to leak a red. foul smelling goo start to leak from the bag
"Shomething is wrong whit that stuff!" she looks at you " L-let' keep way from that, it makes me feel uneasy...B-be m-more careful next time...pleashe..."
Aye..sorry...
You pet her head and open the other crate.
OK! let's see what there is in it!

Necro 2015/02/09(Mon)06:22 No. 624217 ID: 3836f6
File 142349176688.jpg - (112.86KB , 994x894 , 0fight.jpg )

Ther is no trap in ihere, right?
You ask to Emerald.
"Nope!"
Good!
You start to rummage in the hay and recover :
Heck yeah more booze! X3
"Yesh!"
actual bullets for your shotgun X10
"W-we can fight from a range!"
Candy canes x10 again
"C-can I have one, pweashe?"
Sure! Here!
you trow one candy at Emerald.
"I-I'm feeling more energetic now!" Emerald's Health is back to 100%
And a weird striped bandana.
"Wah! W-w-w-wait!"
Right...we don't need it.
You put it back n the crate
Let's get out of here!
You grab her hand and get out of the room.
M-my pantiesh...noooo

Necro 2015/02/09(Mon)06:32 No. 624218 ID: 3836f6
File 142349235548.jpg - (311.49KB , 994x894 , 0fight.jpg )

you climb up the first set of ladders when the smell of the foul liquid start to fill the room, a disturbing sound you can only describe as organic can be heard from the room you have just left
"W-what?"

>>624218
Well, two options. You can swiftly go back and see if the problem is a thing that can be punched into non-problemity. Or: you can climb faster.

I think you should just keep going, there's no reason to go back there.

i think the solution to this problem is the same as the solution to every problem. Near lethal amounts of alcohol!

Necro 2015/02/13(Fri)11:42 No. 624973 ID: 3836f6
File 142385654465.jpg - (543.67KB , 994x894 , 0fight.jpg )

>>624348
>>624349
>CLIMB FASTER!
Emerald! jump on my back, let's climb up!
"A-aye!"
Your companion climb on your shoulders and hugs your neck.She is shaking.
Don't worry emerald! Like every we faced so far I Have a solution! BOOOOOOZE!"
She chuckle, she is about to say something when the disgusting sound start to turn into a low growl"C-climb!"
You climb up two floors when the creature seemingly rise out of the red mist.
"Y-yip! W-what the hell ish that!?"
Most of Emerald's words are covered by the loud roar of the creature.
"L-let's-" Emerald is too scared to continue as the creature start to climb the wall!

Blast it off the wall with the gun!

Necro 2015/02/23(Mon)15:02 No. 626319 ID: 522336
File 142473253330.jpg - (310.45KB , 994x894 , 0fight.jpg )

>>625072
>>625072
You get your sawed off shotgun and aim at the creature legs.
Shoot! We still have the birdshots in it!
I Switched them with the bucks one!
You are awesome!
Y-yip! Ehhh.. thank-"
BOOM!
The main head explode into gibbets
Headshot!
The creature falls, but even before it reaches the ground you see something growing in place
of the head.
"C-climb!"
Fucking on it!
You reach the last floor and get off the ladder.
OK, let's ru-
The sound of steel bending cover your voice, the chimera emerge from the catwalk just in
front of the door
Fuck!
"Y-yiiiip! I-it's head!"

>>626319
As much as i hate to say it, you may have to burn this thing, which would mean precious alchol will be lost. Unless we have something else we can light it on fire with?

Necro 2015/02/28(Sat)03:29 No. 627018 ID: f4096e
File 142512298378.jpg - (404.13KB , 994x894 , 0fight.jpg )

>>626372
Preciuos alcol unless..
You look at Emerald whit hope in your eyes,she looks at you, she know what are you asking her and hugs you.
"I-I'm sorry, the flame trap before used flammable gas, I could not store it in a used bottle..."
You pet her head, manly tears stream down your eyes.
I-it's fine, I can't always count on you for everything.
You throw the bottle and a torch at the thing, you had no time to make a proper molotow.
The creature explode into an inferno of flames and fall, lighting the red mist on fire too.
"...Sh-shorry for your loss..." She hugs you again.

Manly tears. Yet its sacrifice was not in vain.

It did something awesome. A fitting, if tragic, end for booze.

Make a visible effort to collect yourself, then continue onwards.

Necro 2015/03/16(Mon)07:59 No. 629399 ID: f4096e
File 142651799983.jpg - (281.00KB , 1251x1180 , 0.jpg )

>>627019
It's fine...It's end was more then many booze bottles could hope for, a tragic but fitting end...
Emeralds nods "Sh-should we go? W-want a minute to mourn it?"
You pet her head. No, it's fine, let's move on.
You walk to the edge of the broken catwalk. Can you jump over?
"Aye!"
you pass the ruined cat walk and emerald examine the door.
"Closhed. No t-trapsh, tough"

Is there a way for us to get over there?

>>629421
Well, if we can't, Emerald could go through and try to find something to cross with.

>Closhed
Well, then we open it!

the hinges are visible, we can break them.

Necro 2015/03/24(Tue)13:35 No. 630755 ID: f4096e
File 142722932560.jpg - (202.49KB , 943x787 , 0xmas.jpg )

>>629421
Hmm...How can I cross?
>>629428
You got an idea
"Y-you can try b-bending the handrail to make a bridge?"
...Sure!
You twist the thing, it make for a wobbly bridge, but you still pass over it.
Ok, let's bust thin hinges!
"Aye!...How?"
Becase of three power gauges I had to redraw this pic 4 times, I'm not working on this pic any more!

hinges usually are a large pin holding the halves together, use axe to lever out the pins.

Necro 2015/03/31(Tue)12:59 No. 631998 ID: f4096e
File 142783196741.jpg - (272.20KB , 1206x1119 , 01.jpg )

>>629421
let's just fuck the hinges! I'll use the axe head to pry the hinges apart!
"Hmmm, w-wont the crowbar be better for that?"
...I suppose...
"...But It will be cooler with the axe, right?" she smile.
Hahahahah! let's do it!
The hinges get fucked and the door fall on the ground with a loud slam.
The room now is open to a large dark space, save for a red dot of light in the distance.
"I-I don't like thish..."

No torch available this time.

...Just step in there, try to adjust your eyes to the light.

Reassure her and boldly go in.

Ask her if there are any traps.

Then assume the red light is a robot's eye or something similar and throw something at it.

>>631998
wrap hat around crowbar hook. add a little booze if needed, for a makeshift torch.

Necro 2015/04/08(Wed)08:00 No. 633402 ID: f4096e
File 142850521721.jpg - (424.20KB , 1251x1180 , =0.jpg )

>>632040
It's too dark, I'll make a torch with the crowbar and the hat.
"OH! Th-that'sh a good ideea!"
You remove your hat, Emerald's eyes open wide as your long flowy hair get set free from their red polyester prison.
"H-hot!"
What?
"I-I-I m-mean, the room Ish getting hot...t-the fire...yeah!"
Right. Let's hurry!
You light the torch on fire.
Sense any trap
She nods "But It'sh the obvioush red light thingy...I can't shay more...shorry"

we'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

Necro 2015/04/22(Wed)09:30 No. 635848 ID: f4096e
File 142972024174.jpg - (267.97KB , 1206x1119 , 01.jpg )

Right, let's make some light in there.
As you enter the most annoying laughter rings in your ears.
>yahayahayhayayhayhayahayahayahy! You fell for my trap!You wont escape my -Alcohol fuelled- deerbot!
"that does not look like a deer!"
>Yes it Does!

>>635848
>[green]Alcohol fuelled[/green]
Sounds like a big keg to me. Crack that bitch up.

>>635848
This dude isn't serious is he?
Flat-out telling you its fueled by booze while you're holding a torch?
Follow your nose Santa-Hobo, stick that torch where it smells the booziest. On the machine that is.

>Alcohol fuelled

that means there is beer INSIDE IT! MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE MODE break it in half and get it's beer!

It is huge. Therefore, it has huge beer.

Sounds like it's KEGsmas to me! Follow your KEGtuition and take a (KEG) stand, you glorioush bashterd! This Killbot Kegger Killjoy is all that stands between you and Emerald's freedom to booze it up as much as human/lizardly possible!

Necro 2015/05/04(Mon)05:37 No. 638092 ID: f4096e
File 143074306213.jpg - (541.68KB , 1414x1416 , =xmas.jpg )

>>635850
"M-mishter! I can see the f-fuel hatch! It'sh Open"
>No! I-I clearly made a f-fak-
>>635849
>>635851
>>635860
BOOOOZE!
Axe in hand you rush at an impossible speed toward the Deerbot. Not giving the commasnd bot time to react you sever the fuel tank which fall a few meters away, the bot has still enough energy to move tough!You hear a loud sound of metal being lodged into metal.
Emerald has poked a hole inside the deer bot robotic operator head.
"M-mishter!Pleashe b-be more careful!" she say almost crying.

Hug that little kobold and start chugging.

Necro 2015/05/04(Mon)06:51 No. 638094 ID: f4096e
File 143074751630.jpg - (171.11KB , 1060x1062 , =1.jpg )

>>636023
The pain...

save your lizard!

Necro 2015/05/18(Mon)03:29 No. 641185 ID: f4096e
File 143194495896.jpg - (62.98KB , 625x590 , 0.jpg )

>>638093
I'm sorry Emerald...But BOOOZE!
She puff her cheeks "Mishter!"
Pfff...sorry, soory. How about an apology hugs?
She turns red "Y-yip...R-really?"
You don't like hugs?
"I-I-I DO!"She jump down right between you arms, red as a cherry but smiling"S-sho....C-c-can I a-ashk you a qusht-"
>Nooooo! my beatifoul deerbot! You monsters!I'll make sure you will never get out of that room!....as soon as I'll be able to reboot the energy of the facility...

grab lizard, ESCAPE!

Fondle lizard lightly.

>>641185
Tell him to shut up, he's ruining the moment!

...with your booze. And lizard. In that order.

Necro 2015/05/19(Tue)09:01 No. 641483 ID: f4096e
File 143205127722.jpg - (177.07KB , 938x885 , =lewd.jpg )

>>641323
"Sh-shut up! I Wash going to a-a-a-a-" she starts to glow red" Booze!"
Right! Emerald jump on my back!
"A-aye!" she shift from your MANLY! arms to your back "Let's run!".
You sprint toward the door at the end of the room, you grab the fuel tank and slam it against the door,which gave in quite easy, you hands start to shake tough.
"M-mishter?"you fall to your knees, Emerald jump down your back "What's happening?!
I'm sober...I can't move.
>Hahahahahahahahaha You are dead! I'm almost done restting-
"shut up!"she takes your face between her hands "Where do you keep the booze bottles?"
In my pants...
"..."

>In my pants...
Well where else would it be. You don't have a shirt, and you lost your hat!

>>641483
Ask her to rummage through your pants and take hold of the biggest bottle she can find.

Necro 2015/05/21(Thu)13:27 No. 641876 ID: f4096e
File 143224006106.jpg - (253.58KB , 938x885 , =lewd.jpg )

"C-c-can you g-grab t-them y-y-"
I can barely talk..j-just grab as...many as-.
"OK, shorry...D-don't f-f-f-force yourself" you can see the air being distorted by the heat of her cheeks as she muster the courage to rummage in your pant's " O-OK...Got one!"she take out a bottle and put it at your lips, you gulp it down fast.
M-more...
"...O-ok" she get another one, then immediately remove her arm from our pants, she turn even more red "O_O That's not human sized!"
Booooze....

>>641876
Isn't there booze in the fuel tank? Use some of your recovered strength to break it open.

create hole in tank, CHUG

>>641876
Pull her in uncomfortably close, so you can drink the booze out of her arms. You need to nurse on the precious, precious booze.

Necro 2015/05/27(Wed)13:55 No. 643510 ID: f4096e
File 143276012829.jpg - (630.68KB , 1414x1416 , =xmas.jpg )

>>641878
>>641885
Not drunk enough..
>>641892
you gently put your arm around a still shoked Emerald and pull her closer to you.
"Y-yip!I-I-I'm no-not r-r-ready! I-I m-mean K-kobolds are s-sup-supposed o be s-s-s-tretchy, b-but..."
You chug the booze from her her hands, then you look at her we vacant eyes.
Booze? Thanks?
"N-no problem..."

Necro 2015/05/27(Wed)14:28 No. 643514 ID: f4096e
File 143276211466.jpg - (493.67KB , 1414x1416 , =xmas.jpg )

>HAHAHAHAHAHA! To late!
The lights turn on again!
>Now I can activate the blastdoors!
As he say that a massive metal door close in front of the one you just busted.
"NOO!"
>YES! I WON! YOU DAMN CHEATERS!
You put Emerald down and slowly walk toward the fueltank. Emerald looks at you, you smile and punch a hole in the tank, then proceed to drink every drop of booze in it.
NOW! I'M DRUNK!
>Hahahah, it's too la-
The blast door cave in at your first punch.
"OH Damn YESH!"
Were you saying?
-drunkness level:Dionysus-

Necro 2015/05/27(Wed)14:44 No. 643518 ID: f4096e
File 143276306853.jpg - (388.00KB , 1414x1416 , =xmas.jpg )

>>643514
You Pose as a team, then step inside the new room.
It's a massive laboratory, row and row of vats are in it, You can quite figure what's inside of them.
The Christmas nutso is silent.
Now what?
"S-something ish weird, I-I Can tell there ish a trap, b-but I can't tell Where it ish..."

Alright let's just try to trigger the trap, then. Toss some of the wreckage into the room.

>>643518
Finish this. You've literally got a godly level of booze on board.

Go fully on booze saiyan and hadoken blast the lab into nothing.

open keg, chug, destroy lab.

Necro 2015/06/17(Wed)04:57 No. 649059 ID: fab78f
File 143454225752.jpg - (203.32KB , 1200x1008 , ==.jpg )

>open keg, chug, destroy lab.
Sadly you had drink till the last drop of booze already, this make you sad, then angry!
BOOZE!
>blast the lab off!
YES!
You grab the pavement and rip a massive slab of concrete from it, it float in front of you for a second, then you punch it.
The massive concrete slab turn into a deadly shower of concrete bullets crashing every tubes and their contents.
You also hear Emerald screaming something in the background, but te explosion you coused made it impossible to understand.

Necro 2015/06/17(Wed)05:06 No. 649062 ID: fab78f
File 143454277681.jpg - (106.27KB , 1200x1008 , ==.jpg )

Ah, take that you dumb sicko!
"Pant pant" Emerald regain some of her composture "Y-yesh!"
>You have fell for my trap!
What?
The dust sette and it's replaced by a red mist
"Aah! T-the red shtuff!"

Necro 2015/06/17(Wed)05:16 No. 649063 ID: fab78f
File 143454339154.jpg - (333.63KB , 1200x1008 , ==.jpg )

That disgusting sound you heard before fighting the first abomination is now almost deafening
"M-m-mishter!"
>hahahahah! you are doomed now!

>>649063
Vaccum breath. Inhale all the red stuff, ferment it in your mouth by pure force of will, and then swallow all the red booze at once.

channel your inner kirby.

I think eating the red stuff might be a bad idea. I say back up to the door and use it as a choke point.

>>649063
since we're still taking pages from the Hulk's playbook: Clap, real hard. Maybe it'll repel the mist and leave it clinging to the walls instead of being a breathing hazard.

Necro 2015/06/25(Thu)16:01 No. 650718 ID: fab78f
File 143527329054.jpg - (277.62KB , 975x879 , =xmas.jpg )

>>649143
Emerald!
"Y-yesh?"
Cover your ears and get behind me
"A-aye" run behind you "W-what are you gonna-"
No time to answer!
You clap your hands!