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Gale Flutter
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there's an alternate reality where you fight back.
you've seen it a lot of times. sometimes while it's happening. sometimes afterwards, when you're watching her walk away. sometimes in between, in times of false calm that are really just waiting periods, stretching from one beating to the next. you always fight her, but quickly and efficiently, like in a movie - she ends up on the floor, but not hurt. there's never any blood or bruising. you just ... win.
but that's a fantasy, and this is the real world, and in the real world this has been happening for too long, and you are too tired and too terrified and too trained. you try. you think of the children and you raise your arm, but the movement is uncertain and clumsy and she slaps it away and shoves you to the floor.
"i'm leaving," she's panting. "i'm taking the money and leaving. i'm going to go so far away that i'll never think of this place again."
you used to dream that there was a river out of the swamp. your body jerks as you hit the wall. a river, cool and clear all the way to the bottom, all smooth pebbles and gently waving waterplants, with tiny silver minnows and crawfish in the spring. a river you could lay in, and you'd float easily, and it would carry you away and out of the swamp.
but that's a dream, and this is the real world, and in the real world there is no river out of the swamp.
"i've had enough of you." you can hear sounds, but they aren't arranging themselves into meaningful words. "i never asked for this. i never asked for any of you."
you are aware of footsteps. your mother is not.
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