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File 125442811655.jpg - (104.69KB , 850x650 , Ch4_Morning_01.jpg )
55009 No. 55009 ID: f4963f

Expand all images
No. 55012 ID: f4963f
File 125442817810.jpg - (120.96KB , 850x650 , Ch4_Morning_02.jpg )

Nicolas is awake.
No. 55013 ID: 9cc8fd

I do believe it is food time. Nic must be made clear on this note.
No. 55019 ID: 7eda8b

Aggressively pet cat.
No. 55025 ID: b94893


No. 55034 ID: f4963f
File 125443007483.jpg - (121.32KB , 850x650 , Ch4_Morning_03.jpg )

>Aggressively pet cat.
Done! Nicolas gives Skimbleshanks an aggressive petting, prompting him to shed all over. Skimbles looks less than amused.

>It's probably feeding times nao.
Is it 6:00 alread- 6:31? Really? Nic's usually up earlier. Come to think of it, Nicolas can't remember going to sleep. ... that's usually a bad sign in these types of adventures. If it turns out Nic's in a lab or something, Nic's gonna start punching shit, MIGHT score be damned.

Wait, note...? Huh, there is a note here, right next to Nic's glasses. He puts on the glasses and reads the note.
No. 55035 ID: f4963f
File 125443010843.jpg - (148.50KB , 850x650 , Ch4_READTHENOTE.jpg )

... well, that makes a lot more sense.

Damn, 10:00, really? That's three and a half hours from now. Aren't we supposed to be getting a move-on? Ugh.
No. 55055 ID: e3f578

It was probably the cosmic horror in that statue that induced your mysterious sleep, quickly search the room for it. It's obviously in here, taunting you.

Your genre savvy enough, you've seen the try and send the annoying thing away cartoons, it never works. Lets just hope it will allow you to identify it in another Paraply building in Colorado. Then we'll figure out what to do with it.
No. 55057 ID: bffa2a


You should look under your sheets. I bet it's just there, between your legs, staring at you. It's how these things work.
No. 55085 ID: 4553b2

No. 55135 ID: f4963f
File 125443642265.jpg - (123.57KB , 850x650 , Ch4_Morning_05.jpg )

>Look under the sheets, it's staring at you from between your legs.
OH GOD! It's right there, isn't it?

... no. No it's not. The only thing that does that is Shadran. Are you stupid?
No. 55139 ID: f4963f
File 12544364742.jpg - (137.49KB , 850x650 , Ch4_Good_Human_Slave.jpg )

>I do believe it is food time.
Right, right. Nicolas got the message this morning in a face full of CAT BREATH. Nicolas is beginning to suspect it's not their claws they kill commoners with. He dishes out come cat chow for Skimbles.
No. 55140 ID: f4963f
File 125443651446.jpg - (82.57KB , 589x566 , Ch4_Derringer_Classy.jpg )

>Search room for that damn cat mustache... thing.
Right. Nicolas goes about checking the room high and low. ... it doesn't seem to be in here, though. The only things in the room are Nicolas, Skimbles, and the supplies in the closet. Which, handily, includes his top hat.

>Check CLOSET for WEPON.
It looks like Joel didn't put the heavier weaponry in here. Nicolas guesses the Tommygun, Grenade Launcher and Machine Pistol must be either with Joel or in the car. He does, however, have his Derringer.

It looks like it's going to be three and a half hours before Joel gets up. What should Nicolas do in the meantime?
No. 55149 ID: 4553b2

Obtain map from front desk, ask directions to Colorado. As well as where we are now.
No. 55184 ID: 7eda8b

Look out the window. Acclimate self to your surroundings.

Become aware, possibly by accidentally lifting something very heavy, that your TELEPATHY score has increased in rank.
No. 55199 ID: af3e6d

Don't try lifting anything with TELEPATHY. Inanimate objects don't follow mental commands well.
No. 55225 ID: f4963f
File 125444461869.jpg - (117.19KB , 841x552 , Ch4_Morning_08.jpg )

>Become aware of POWER++
Nic's aware. Having a psychic connection to the crystal is sort of weird. It tells him this sort of stuff automatically. Speaking of which, Nicolas feels recovered, but you've probably caught the 'sleep to regain MP' angle by now.

>Obtain map, directions to Colorado, location.
Righto. Except that Nicolas doesn't strictly need a map; he's still got his laptop from earier, and it looks like the Hotel has...

... ugh. Pay-to-use wireless. When Nicolas becomes ruler of the world, this will be the second thing to go.

The first will be ROFLDOGs.

Nicolas forks over the money and get to work. It turns out we're somewhere in the western end of New York state at the moment. The roadmap is reliable enough that Nicolas can get to Colorado with minimal difficulty. Nicolas also completes his online banking, checks his stocks, and makes a few business-related phone calls. From a hotel lobby! Nicolas feels important now.
No. 55226 ID: f4963f
File 125444466587.jpg - (218.37KB , 825x675 , Ch4_Morning_09.jpg )

Nicolas also finds something interesting on a news website. It looks like the MIB broke through the blockade yesterday, and are now beginning to rampage across the country. The President summoned Rastin to talk peace terms. It looks like it could have gone better.

Of course, Nicolas didn't really think we were away from the MIBs. He was just hoping for a few days head start, is all.

It looks like Nicolas has about two and a half hours before he's 'allowed' to wake Joel up. Anything else we should do?
No. 55231 ID: 234c61

Read more closely about the cheese and the goat.
No. 55240 ID: e3f578

Search the internet about Mesopotamian gods that look like pig cats with a mustache. Then after that, go rock some bacon and eggs. Need to get the yum yum yummies in your tum tum tummy.

Check the windows for MIB guys surrounding the place. Shit always goes down after sleeping in a hotel.
No. 55369 ID: 7eda8b

Assess stock diversification options. Rastin is likely to negatively affect the economy due to a drop in consumer and investment confidence.

Look up what has been researched about your various enemies so far. Contact tech-savvy friends/business-partners to run Rastin's face through facial recognition programs and try to determine his preexisting identity. If you run into a wall, wake Grey up to get some more info. You need intel!
No. 55448 ID: fd6933

Short-sell Paraply with the power of a thousand suns!
Seriously. As many suns as you can muster. The stock market isn't going to exist that much longer.

If you really want to diversify, buy a warehouse full of bottlecaps and gold.
No. 55763 ID: 6756f8

I dunno man, I think that recent events are only going to drive the market share of magical shit up.

Now might be a good time to sell everything you have in the entertainment industry and luxury items, though. And maybe buy some stock in the arms industry.
No. 56022 ID: f4963f
File 125454694954.jpg - (157.98KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Morning_10.jpg )

>Fuck around with the stock market, drive Paraply into the ground.
YES! Nicolas normally has a guy who handles his stocks for him, but the lawyer knows enough about business to get around in the stock market. He fucks around with the stock market like there's no tomorrow.

Somewhere out there, Paraply investors are weeping bitter tears. Nicolas, if only for a moment, feels like the ultimate business troll. It's a good way to whittle away an hour. Out of three and a half. Fucking. Hours. God Joel, why don't you get up at a reasonable time?

Nicolas' wealth rises from WELL-OFF to AFFLUENT.

>Research bizarre Mesopotamian mustache-cat-devil-dog gods.
It seems there's a distinct lack of Mesopotamian cat-devil-pig-dogs, mustachioed or otherwise. Nicolas can't really find anything in other cultures, either. It looks like the only way he's going to find out more about that thing is if he takes it to an Ignometics branch. Thankfully, there's one along the way.

If he can ever find the damn thing again. Do you suppose it's on the dashboard still?
No. 56023 ID: f4963f
File 125454699979.jpg - (140.66KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Morning_11.jpg )

>Check the windows for MIB guys surrounding the place. Shit always goes down after sleeping in a hotel.
Nicolas peeks out the window. He can make out his car from here, and...

That thing's on the roof his car. That's just great.

Nicolas can also make out an MIB car in the parking lot.
No. 56026 ID: 4553b2

Obviously the MIB are approaching even as you watch.

Find some place to sit that you can watch the front doors, but off to the side, so they don't immediately see you.
No. 56027 ID: 7eda8b

Sounds like a good enough excuse to wake up Joel. Tell her there's trouble, and to get herself combat-ready. Then go investigate the car. Find out if there's agents staking out from the parking lot, or if they've just checked in.

...if the latter, just use telekinesis to turn the car upside down, and then leave. Ha ha!
No. 56028 ID: 9e9b47


Let's get Skimble and get the hell outta here!
No. 57659 ID: f4963f
File 125471037832.jpg - (114.35KB , 827x699 , Ch4_Morning_12.jpg )

>Wake up Joel, find out more about agents.
>Get Skimbles and equipment, GTFO.

Nicolas closes his laptop. "Excuse me," he says, not taking his eyes off of the car. "Sir, about that MIB car in the parking lot..."

"Zey 'aven't come in," says the man at the front desk. "I am not liking zem. I am not liking MIB. They have not open door still. Zey are waiting, I think."

Nicolas thanks the man and heads upstairs. He heads to Joel's room and knocks on the door. He's met with an irate grunt.

"Joel!" he says. "The MIB are in the parking lot. We're boned if we don't get a move on."

Nicolas can hear a hyperactive yapping on the other side of the door. The sound of a bolt moving can be heard, and Joel peeks her face through the door. "What? Seriously?"

"Yeah. They're staked out right by the car."

"God damnit. ... I-I'll be down there in a moment."

Rushing to his room, Nicolas packs everything together as quickly as he can, including Skimbles, who looks none too pleased with this development.
No. 57680 ID: 4553b2

Current plan of action: Before leaving, use TELEKINESIS to flip over their car, then make a run for your car. I expect some big psychic feedback from this, so Joel will have to cover you while you run for the car. Also she's driving.
No. 57747 ID: e3f578

I got a better idea, make the keys invisible, float them through the hotel's window and into the car's, turn on the car, then drive it away using your TELEKINESIS... to the fire escape or to another window or something.
No. 57750 ID: 7c3156

THis way, but use TELEKINESIS to sabotage the car. Nothing big, rip out the gas line, fuses or ignition cable.
No. 57756 ID: f4963f
File 125471494553.jpg - (139.88KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Morning_13.jpg )

Nicolas and Joel meet at the first floor elevator, ready for action. Everything is accounted for, save for the items in the car.

Mappy will not shut up. Damnit Mappy.

Nicolas explains how the MIB have broken out of their sphere of influence and are basically running amok across the country. Joel scoffs a little. "S-sure chose a wonderful time to switch sides, huh?"

There's maybe a 40 foot stretch from the main entrace to the car. The MIB car is parked in the space immediately next to the car; the tinted windows make it impossible to see who or what's inside the thing.

>Use Telekinesis to flip over the car, Kyle!
This should just about be the upper limit of Nic's new psychic powers. If we go this route, Nic's head is goung to be pounding all day, but he totally could do it, if that's what we want to do.

>Use Telekinesis to sabotage car.
This could also probably work. The advantage is that it's more economic. The disadvantage is that they can still step out and start firing.

>Make keys invisible, telekinese them, drive off car riderlessly.
Nicolas could probably do this. Making a small item invisible is within the limits of his psychic abilities, and he can make the effect 'cling' for just long enough to telekinese them into the car.

Alright. What's the plan of attack?
No. 57774 ID: 7eda8b

Use Telekinesis to lock the doors of the MIB car and jam them locked. Then run for the car and skedaddle. Hopefully you'll be gone by the time they finish arguing about whether or not their windows are bulletproof.
No. 57790 ID: 6faa8c

This plan is a great plan. This plus Sabotage is BEST PLAN
No. 58124 ID: f2d908

You need to jam their doors closed, run for it. IF YOU SEE A GUN OF ANY TYPE, JAM IT TOO!
No. 58185 ID: f4963f
File 125478256021.jpg - (181.49KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Morning_14.jpg )

You are now four MIB agents. The stakeout's going well so far - the suspect's car was still in the lot when you pulled in, and nobody's bothered to interfere. This is going to be a very one-sided battle. Having heard from reports about how effective the subject's armour is, you managed to convince the HQ to bring you a heavy-duty anti-tank rifle. This gun is so obnoxiously big it has its own area code, and punches through solid slabs of steel like a Japanese katana bisecting a knight. You've also got a chain-fed fully automatic weapon that looks more like it belongs in a gorey FPS than a bottom-rung agent's hands. Now all that needs to happen is for the target to appear, and you can clean up this little renegade problem. Yep. Sure nothing that could screw it up now. This is going to be cake.
No. 58186 ID: f4963f
File 125478263151.jpg - (192.28KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Morning_15.jpg )

... the doors all lock simultaneously.
No. 58188 ID: cd08c0

No. 58189 ID: 7eda8b

Someone say "Hey, are these doors armored?"
No. 58192 ID: 4553b2

...Unlock the doors. Duh.
No. 58208 ID: f4963f
File 125478440512.jpg - (201.82KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Morning_16.jpg )

>Panic wildly and fire!
It seems that mister Fab here is a mite twitchy.

>Unlock the doors!
The doors won't unlock! The mechanism doesn't seem to be working. Aren't there safety regulations against that?!

It looks like the subject is exiting the building! Crap! Quick! Do something! They're getting away!
No. 58213 ID: 4553b2

Tell twitchy to shoot the front windshield. Its shatterproof class, so that'll crumple it into a nice flexible sheet. Then have driver dude kick it open.

...After twitchy stops shooting it, of course.
No. 58216 ID: e3f578

Have the most badass person in this car light up a cigarette and look right into Nick. Use his badass powers to appear right through the tinted glass. Terrify him with subtle, stoic, dark facial expressions in order to lose his focus.

Or roll down the windows if badass powers are too much of a gamble for you. If that doesn't work, still use badass powers.
No. 58220 ID: 43d730

Drive the car into him.
No. 58225 ID: af3e6d

Decide that you can't take this shit any more and join the subject in his quest. Until you get names and become real player characters, you're either mooks or recurring enemies, and you all look pretty mook-y to me. As mooks, the only alternative to betrayal is inevitable death.
No. 58231 ID: fc854e

Best option.
No. 58270 ID: f4963f
File 125478921966.jpg - (176.61KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Realization_01.jpg )

>Decide that you can't take this shit any more and join the subject in his quest. Mooks = Inevitable Death.
It... all makes sense now. It all makes sense now! These agents have had it. They've had it with being expendable front-line units! As soon as anyone so much as sneezes in their direction, the four of them are going to go flying back just to show off how powerful mister protagonist's sneezes actually are. Or will be eaten by some crazy pit-monster to show how uncontrolled it is. Or will be sent in droves to be mowed down by some chick wielding a katana. Fuck that.

The agents resolve to flip Fate the finger, punch God in the face, and do a face heel turn. They can't step out of the car, but all they need to do is trail Nicolas for a little while, pull him aside, and talk to him. The driver puts his keys into the ignition. Today, we say a big hearty 'fuck you' to destiny.

... the car won't start.


The subject's car drives off.
No. 58271 ID: f4963f
File 125478925042.jpg - (162.90KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Realization_02.jpg )

... God damnit.
No. 58273 ID: f4963f
File 125478927616.jpg - (141.51KB , 841x600 , Ch4_On_The_Road_01.jpg )

Nicolas and Joel toast with coffee mugs rather than glasses. Joel's up in the driver's seat, and seems fine doing this. Nicolas has taken the moment to pull out some maps and figure out their next path. The two of them talk while he does so.

"Th-that," says Joel, taking a deep sip. "That, was brilliant."

"Did you see that one guy flip out?" laughs Nicolas. "Swear he must have plastered the interior of the car."

Joel's coffee is so heavily bogged down with sugar and cream that Nicolas is lead to believe it must taste more like caffeinated syrup than actual coffee. As for Nic, he takes his coffee relatively plain; one packet of sugar. Nicolas takes a moment to reflect on his caffeine relapse.

"Alright," says Nicolas, "there's two options I see. We can take this route through the northern states," he snakes his hand up along a northward path, "or this one through the southern states. Either way, we should be able to intercept an Ignometics branch."

"You never did take that... t-thing off the car roof, did you?" Joel asks.

"I'm sure it will find me," says Nicolas dourly.

"Anyway, I don't particularly care," says Joel. "J-Just tell me where to turn, eh?"
No. 58277 ID: 15f6d6

Let's go south! We need delicious southern foods and racism.
No. 58280 ID: 7eda8b

rolled 1 = 1

I have no idea what advantages/disadvantages are present in these choices, so I'll roll a die.
No. 58419 ID: 4553b2

Voting North. Colder weather is good for ye.
No. 58643 ID: 686619


I sincerely hope these guys show up later on in the quest as side protagonists, they seem like fun.
No. 58671 ID: f4963f
File 125485224593.jpg - (198.36KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Ignometics_01.jpg )

North it is!

Nicolas and Joel continue driving for four hours, picking up lunch on the way. They listen to musicals along the way and talk about their favourite theatrical productions. Joel's hardly surprised to learn that Nicolas is fond of CATS. Dork.

Eventually, the two of them arrive in the parking lot of an Ignometics branch. Nicolas is wholly unsurprised to find that the damn... thing is still latched onto the roof of his car. Maybe he will use it as a masthead after all. It's certainly better than looking into its soulless eyes.

Nicolas takes the thing and heads into the Ignometics building. This one doesn't seem very active today. There's a woman here with stuffed lizards floating around her, and a little girl who seems to be working at a terminal. She seems to be glaring furiously at the monitor.

"Welcome to Ignometics, Pennsylvania branch," says the wavy haired sciencey girl. "Can I help you?"
No. 58672 ID: 43d730

Present for analysis the SMALL FUCKED-UP CREEPY THING, and report results of the BULLETPROOF SUIT.
No. 58721 ID: 4553b2

We're in Pennsylvania, eh? I vote we take a small detour to Centralia while we are in the area. Its a small abandoned city where there is a permanent coal fire underground. It rains soot almost 24/7. Its the city Silent Hill is based on, you should check it out.

...After getting the pigcatdogmustachegod analyzed.
No. 58779 ID: b12379

Hi, Lily. Can you break the fourth wall here, too?
No. 59064 ID: 9b8b83

> Pennsylvania

Go to Philly and visit Escavel. Surely he can help you!
No. 60354 ID: f4963f
File 12549802075.jpg - (198.88KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Ignometics_02.jpg )

>Present the MUSTACHIOED CAT PIG DEVIL-DOG for analysis, report results of the BULLETPROOF SUIT.
Nicolas does so.

"It's a bullet-resistant suit, sir," explains the wavy-haired woman dryly. "You're the only one who's been calling it bulletproof. It should soak up ballistic attacks at least as well as any kevlar vest, probably better."

Nicolas hands over the Mustachioed Cat Pig Devil Dog for analysis. The Ignometics employee heads off into the lab to test the thing, and then returns perhaps fifteen minutes later. "... what's that thing supposed to be?"

"Hell if I know!" says Nicolas. "That's why I brought it here. What is it? The keystone to the tomb of an Elder God? A demonic playtoy that steals children's breath and haunts their nightmares? An extradimensional psychic alien that burrows into your spine?"

"It's..." says the woman. "... a cheap knock-off figurine. Have you considered anti-anxiety meds?"

"There's no way that's the case. That thing's evil."

"It registers 0.0 Thaums," she says. "We don't pay for data on boring mundane objects, sir."

>Visit the Silent Hill city.
Are you trying to get us killed?

"Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?"
No. 60356 ID: 6faa8c

That's the one the movie is based on.
No. 60358 ID: 632862

Tell them that it keeps showing up where it shouldn't be. You threw it out of a moving car for chrissakes.

Maybe instead of the figurine being magical, there's a ghost following you around and using it to spook you.
No. 60362 ID: 6faa8c

Either that, or it's hiding its powerlevel.

At any rate, ask what magical stuff they have for sale? what about potions to reduce any POsychic headaches?
No. 60385 ID: 6c80cf


Someone's probably playing a prank on you.
No. 60398 ID: 4553b2

The entire series is based on that city! The movie is the only one that gave a shit about the actual city's lore beyond "creepy and foggy" though.
No. 60518 ID: f4963f
File 125503086164.jpg - (199.08KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Ignometics_03.jpg )

>Explain the MCPDD's actions!
"It keeps appearing where it shouldn't. I bet it's just hiding its power from you. Watching."

"... right. Here, lemme just give you an address... when I was still in anger therapy sessions, I had to pick up a little prescription from the pharmacy down the street. They probably have something for your anxiety situation too."

>It's probably just someone pranking you.
You're way too optimistic.

>Do you have stuff to reduce psychic headaches?
"Whenever I use my crystal, I get some feedback. It makes it hard to use it as much as I'd like; anything you can do?"

"Ah! You must be talking about psionic backlash," says the employee. Nicolas likes the term 'feedback' better, but whatever. "No, we don't. The entire field's very new, and we're still finding out all the ins and outs of magic and psionics. I'm sorry."

"Speaking of psionics, I don't know if it's magical, but this bread is pretty weird. I'm sure most bread doesn't have glowing runes on it."

"... I'll check it out," says the girl. She takes it out back. She returns a little bit later, handing it to Nicolas. "That's... interesting. It definitely registers. It's not quite like anything we've analyzed before, though. I honestly can't tell you what it does. The data should be very interesting to look over. Since we offer a cash incentive for new discoveries, let me wire some over to your account."

Nicolas also mentions that his magic-detecting glasses didn't detect the bread, and might be faulty. They are beta, after all. She takes down a report and gives him the latest version.

Nic's WEALTH level rises from AFFLUENT to WEALTHY.

>What magic stuff do you have for sale?
"Let's talk business," says Nicolas. "What do you sell here?"

"For you... well, we have weapon and armour upgrades. What with the world being taken over, that's probably not a bad investment. We can actually upgrade a lot of things, if you have any particular requests. Except for that psychic crystal. You're on your own there, buddy."

"Any other items?"

"We have a bottomless can of cheese whiz, and a two-way radio that uses psychic waves rather than radio waves. We also have cure potions, thaumic disruptors, and that psychic dippy bird that nobody wants to buy."

As with most psychic stuff, upgrades and items cost a lot of money. Should Nicolas get anything?
No. 60523 ID: 9d41ab

Dippy bird.
No. 60549 ID: e3f578

What? Bottomless Cheez Whiz yet no bottomless beer keg?

Request for your suit to transform into bioarmor like that of Alex Mercer's at your psychic will. Or more possible, Evolve CLASSY DERRINGER into DAPPER DERRINGER!
No. 60720 ID: 632862

Oh, that's a good idea. Enchant your DERRINGER to never require reloading and fire stronger bullets. With low recoil.
No. 60730 ID: 782100

On an unrelated note, blast the MCPDD with your disruptor, at the next opportunity.
No. 60770 ID: 6faa8c

The location of Silent Hill is ambiguous. There are a number of clues regarding the town's location throughout the series:

* The body of water that surrounds the town on three sides is revealed in the second game to be called Toluca Lake. The only real-life Toluca Lake is in California behind the Universal Studios Hollywood lot.[7]
* The liner notes in the Japanese version of the Silent Hill 4: The Room soundtrack CD give an address for Heaven's Night, a strip club visited by the protagonists of Silent Hill 2 and Silent Hill 3, that would put it in Maine.
* Although no state location is given, a map found through the course of Silent Hill: Homecoming places the Toluca Lake area in a fictitious Toluca County. Also, the instruction manual for Homecoming states that Shepherd's Glen, another town on Toluca Lake neighboring Silent Hill, is located in New England.
* In the Elementary school in Silent Hill, a news paper clipping can be seen with the words "Chicago news" on the wall.
* The film's screenwriter, Roger Avary, used the real town of Centralia, Pennsylvania as an inspiration for the town of Silent Hill.[8] In 1962, a fire in a landfill spread to the coal mines underneath Centralia and has burned since then, which forced most inhabitants to leave forever. In the film, Silent Hill is in West Virginia.

No. 60793 ID: 6c80cf

You may want to buy another bulletproof suit for your ally.

Also, see about getting protective enchantments for your face. Possibly installed into your CLASSY HAT.

No. 60798 ID: 6c80cf


Try to leave the MCPDD behind in the facility, somewhere.
No. 61342 ID: f4963f
File 125507309988.jpg - (186.35KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Ignometics_04.jpg )

>Bottomless Cheez Whiz but no bottomless beer keg?
It's a cruel world we live in.

>Whole bunch of things to purchase, especially upgrades.
Right, let's get to upgrading then.

Most everything here is expensive; any purchases will knock Nicolas down one WEALTH LEVEL.

First, not-weapon-upgrade stuff. They have bullet-resistant suit upgrades, as well as the ability to enchant his hat with a face-shielding effect that should be similar to the suit's ability. They don't have bottomless magazines, but they do have bullets that automatically teleport into a gun's empty chamber; those are sold in 10-packs.

Alright, let's do this.

Adding an enchantment to a weapon costs ONE WEALTH LEVEL, up until three stacked enchantments; then it begins to cost two apiece, and eventually three apiece, etc. It apparently gets harder the more magic you pile on. The employee informs NIcolas that his CLASSY DERRINGER is an exception; because of its diminutive size, small magazine, and excellent craftsmanship, Nicolas can buy the first two enchantments for the cost of one wealth level.

TL;DR: +1 Enchantment = -1 Wealth, Derringer gets a bonus enchantment with its first upgrade.

Margaret explains that there are several types of weapon upgrades they can do. And yes, you can stack them; that just means the effect is more dramatic.


Piercing Upgrade: Dramatically punch through resistance; say, body armour.
Flaming Upgrade: Sets things on fire; say, people.
Range/Accuracy: Hit reliably from a distance.
Impact: Increases severity of successful hits, adds some knockback. Basically pure DAMAGE++.
Shocking: Adds a tazer effect to bullets. May affect electronics.

Glowy (The gun glows bright <Colour>!)

Wow we are putting a lot of attention on just what kind of upgrade we give our gun, aren't we?

Alright, tgchan. PIMP MY GUN.
No. 61347 ID: bd2eec

Glowing Red


No. 61349 ID: 4553b2

Piercing, Piercing, Accuracy, Impact. We''l be shooting people through brick walls.
No. 61351 ID: bd2eec

No no, Impact x3 will produce that effect, especially at close range.
No. 61352 ID: 4553b2

Impact makes it hit harder, Piercing makes it penetrate. Impact won't push it through bulletproof vests. Piercing will.
No. 61364 ID: 632862

No infinite ammo? :(

Well, since the Derringer only has two shots per mag, I think it would be best used as a sniper rifle. Accuracy, Accuracy, Piercing, Piercing. That costs 3 wealth levels right?

Say, does Accuracy help you aim or does it just make the gun shoot straight? With a barrel that short it'd be difficult to aim the thing.
No. 61374 ID: ed8d8a

well, sniper rifle or rocket launcher, depending on choice of penetration or (FIRE+IMPACT)*N where N is determined by how much money we are willing to part with. Teleporting bullets may mitigate the clip size problem, but I suspect they will get expensive.
No. 61379 ID: a3b36a

Do we really want to lower our wealth level by three? That would make us merely 'decent'.

If so, Range/accuracy x3, and add some firey burnyness. Set people on fire from far far away.
No. 61390 ID: 6faa8c

>51 thought you meant shooting folks and sending them through brick.... walls...


No. 61396 ID: fd6933

Shocking + Flaming + Telebullets.
Everything but the elemental effects can be obtained more cheaply, and more practically, from a different gun.
We have a party. They can handle weapons, while Nic looks classy and flings people around with his mind.
No. 61423 ID: 632862

Oh shit, that's a fantastic idea. Changing my vote to this.

That wouldn't... break Nic's arms would it?

(oh and I guess I skipped over reading about the teleporting bullets, whoops)
No. 61427 ID: e06ea4

I'd much rather have the walls between me and the opponents than the other way around.

Piercing, Piercing, Accuracy. Or maybe two of each like >>61364 but it'll hurt in the wallet area.
No. 61436 ID: 6faa8c

If the impact is only on le bullets, no harm to him. If it imparts the shock along his arm, though, we need some sort of brace. Still. think of the uses!
No. 61621 ID: ed8d8a

This is an interesting point
No. 61622 ID: 43d730

Shocking Piercing Piercing.
We won't need range, we have party members and telekinesis for that.
The Derringer is solely for closeup and surprise shots. Shocking should buy us time to get away, and piercing should ensure that it actually does damage. Accuracy we don't need because we won't be firing it from farther than fifteen feet or so anyway.
No. 61645 ID: 4553b2

I'm seconding this. Tazering people through walls sounds supremely useful.

Maybe even take Shocking twice so we can tazer robots and cars too.
No. 61647 ID: 7eda8b

No, guys, up to three costs one wealth level each. Adding three enchantments will make us poor as fuck, which is unacceptable.

If we must get an enchantment, I vote Piercing and Flaming for the derringer, and that's it.
No. 61650 ID: 4553b2

>The first two enhancements only cost 1 wealth level
We can afford to drop 2 wealth levels for this.
No. 61651 ID: f4963f
File 125511453513.png - (31.42KB , 600x400 , LetMeExplainThis.png )

>Image used with Gnome's permission. <3

>(And a few other posts asking about costs)
Alright, I wasn't very clear on the breakdown here, was I? Here's how it works.

2 Enhancements = -1 Wealth
3 Enchantments = -2 Wealth
4 Enchantments = -3 Wealth

Normal Gun:
1 Enchantments = -1 Wealth
2 Enchantments = -2 Wealth
3 Enchantments = -3 Wealth
4 Enchantments = -5 Wealth

1 purchase = -1 WEALTH
No. 61668 ID: 4553b2

Lets drop down to Decent, and go with Penetrate Penetrate Shocking. Tazing through walls? Yesplz.
No. 61727 ID: 9d41ab

Above sounds like an awesome idea. We need our Derringer Classy to be a force to be recconed with.
No. 64227 ID: f4963f
File 125547438679.jpg - (168.33KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Ignometics_05.jpg )

Nicolas decides on Piercing, Piercing, Shocking. He should be able to penetrate both mundane and magical body armour, pierce solid slabs of steel, and probably even shoot through the front of a tank with this much power. The stunning effect's quite desirable too.
The upgrade's quite expensive, bringing his wealth level down twice, from WEALTHY to WELL-OFF.

Nicolas also decides to buy a defensive upgrade for Joel, so that she's not almost killed by another revolver round. He offers to buy her something a little more casual to actually enchant, but she declines, stutteringly insisting that she prefers the business suit as body armour because it covers most of her body.

Alright then. A magic business suit for Joel as well.

Wealth level drops from WELL-OFF to DECENT.

Nicolas is tempted to buy the dippy-bird and telebullets as well, but decides against it; he can carry extra rounds with him, and if he needs to shoot more than twice he's doing it wrong. The dippy bird would also be the most awesome thing in the world to have, but Nicolas can blow half a car's worth of money on one of those after he saves lolcats and restores order to the internet.

Alright, is there anything else to do, or are we out of here?
No. 64233 ID: 4553b2

We're done here.

Proceed to Centralia.
No. 64292 ID: f4963f
File 125547839512.jpg - (197.14KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Ignometics_06.jpg )

"Alright, thank you for your help. I believe we'll be on our way now."

The wavy-haired girl just nods. "Oh, and officially, we're neutral with the MIB, but unofficially? Give 'em hell. Paraply's always been kind of shady, and Rastin's a dick. It's kind of the reason I have no problem with helping people who're obviously part of a resistance force."

Nicolas decides that this would be a bad time to mention that all they're trying to do is bring back a humorous captions website.

As he turns to leave with Joel, Nicolas suddenly hears a "Hey! Nic!" from the pink girl at the terminal. He looks over his shoulder, and she gives him an intense look. "More diplomacy cheese. You put ranks in it, faggot."

The sad part is that Nicolas understands all of that. If the MIB weren't such dicks, he'd probably be using more diplomacy cheese too.

"Now go save the world," she says.
No. 64293 ID: f4963f
File 125547842115.jpg - (176.75KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Unterwegs_01.jpg )

And they're off! Joel drives again, while Nicolas balances his checkbook, to see how many metric fucktons of money he lost by buying shiny magical junk. Along the way, Joel puts a CD of hers in, some European metal group known as Songwish. They have track names like 'Tragic Night Fantasy' and 'Passion of the Dark Secret'. They're alright, Nicolas supposes. He can dig the musical sections, but the lead singer leaves something to be desired.

They continue to drive for several hours, swapping out music, making idle chit-chat, drinking coffee. Mappy jumps up on Nicolas' lap and decides to take a nap there. Nicolas lets her rest.

"D'aww," says Joel. "You two look so cute together."

"Um... thank you," says Nicolas.

Damnit, riding in the car is boring. Nicolas can't think of anything to do.
No. 64296 ID: 43d730

Work on fine control.
Get a marble or something and lift it off your palm.
Make it go in little circles.
Don't use very much force at all.
No. 64297 ID: 12fc66

> Riding in the car is boring.
Start singing 'XXXX Bottles of Beer on the Wall' and don't stop for any reason until you reach your intended destination.
Watch Joel the whole time.
And no matter what happens do not stop singing.
No. 64314 ID: fd6933

This, or make Songwish sound better if you hate them so much. Your illusions need practice too.
No. 64334 ID: f4963f
File 125548269876.jpg - (166.91KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Unterwegs_02.jpg )

>Sing XXX Bottles of Beer, do not stop.
Joel disagrees.
No. 64335 ID: f4963f
File 12554827185.jpg - (147.45KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Unterwegs_03.jpg )

>Work on fine control, exercise your mind with marbles!
Sure. Nicolas can do this sort of stuff with a lot less strain now, anyway, and he hasn't really had a chance to just play with his power. He's usually been too afraid of taxing it.

Nicolas levitates a bead. He makes it go in circles, hop up and down, even makes it bobble a little while he does funny voices. He can't tell if Joel finds this endearing or annoying. He then pretends to roll it along his arms like Jareth from Labyrinth. He plays keep-away with Skimbleshanks, who actually manages to pin the bead down. Clever little bastard.

>Make Songwish sound better if you hate them so much.
They're not bad! Nicolas would rate them so-so as far as groups go. Actually, Joel has a few more CDs. Megalife, Deaf Defender, Sonata Tropica, and some group with really over-the-top fantasy lyrics called Jellyfish. Lots and lots of metal.

Illusion practice is good, though. He illusions small images and simple audio. An eight minute song would be rather taxing, but he can make short melodies come from nowhere. He gets the impression that Joel just wants to listen to her music, though.
No. 64337 ID: f4963f
File 125548281198.jpg - (164.09KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_01.jpg )

Nicolas manages to burn a good four hours. It's now approaching evening, and aside from a few rest stops, the trip's been prettymuch a long stretch of road. Remarkably uneventful, until...

"H-hey. Um. Nicolas. I think we've got company."
No. 64358 ID: 12fc66

Look back, wait until one of the enemy cars is directly in front of the other, use telekinesis to slam on their parking brake.
No. 64363 ID: 9cc8fd

Nah, slam on the real break, parking break might barely even be noticed.
No. 64364 ID: f4963f
File 125548514331.jpg - (253.92KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_02.jpg )

"What's it look like?" Nicolas asks. He really wishes the passenger side-view mirror were intact.

"A car, a jeep with a mounted machine gun, and another goddamn helicopter."

"Could be worse. At least they don't-"


The other two vehicles begin to move in, and Nicolas can hear bullets flying past the window.
No. 64365 ID: 95484a

Test out your newly enhanced gun on the helicopter. Try to hit something critical, like the pilot or the engine.
No. 64366 ID: 9cc8fd

Missiles are good! Steer them into the cars.
No. 64367 ID: 476456

Holy shit, slam on the breaks and get close enough to the cars so they cant hit you with missiles.
No. 64370 ID: 95484a

Amendment. Aim for an unlaunched missile.
No. 64372 ID: 7ef24d

Seconding these.
No. 64375 ID: 4553b2

>Get closer to the cars with machineguns
Lolno. We just fixed up our baby, we're not smashing it if we can try.

I second the motion to try to derringer the helicopter pilot. I also second the motion to jam the brakes of the forward car. whether or not it crashes into the other, it'll still put them well behind us for a while.
No. 64414 ID: f4963f
File 12554882131.jpg - (188.90KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_03.jpg )

Nicolas pulls out his juiced-up Dappy Derringer and aims it at the Helicopter. The thing's quite a ways away, but if he can score a critical hit, this thing's going down. He aims for one of the unlaunched missiles and squeezes the trigger.
No. 64418 ID: f4963f
File 125548827372.jpg - (203.02KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_04.jpg )

Goddamnit! This thing's got no range, he missed the missile by a mile. However, the helicopter does stop firing and starts to swerve erratically, so Nicolas assumes he must have hit something important.
No. 64428 ID: f4963f
File 125548861398.gif - (210.16KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_05.gif )

>Jam the other car's brakes!
Nicolas likes this idea. Let's just charge up some psychic mojo and...

No. 64431 ID: f4963f
File 125548863781.jpg - (103.04KB , 639x530 , Ch4_Chase_06.jpg )



FUCK. He's going to keep cockblocking us!

The jeep slams the accelerator hard, nearly sideswiping a civilian car. Nicolas thinks there's going to be some bullet spam incoming soon.
No. 64435 ID: 43d730

Do an awkward half-groping exchange of seats with Joel.
That is unless she thinks she can lose them.
No. 64463 ID: 4553b2

Trade spots with Joel, get her shooting.

Without your majick mojo, you're the inferior warrior here.
No. 64468 ID: 632862

Shoot the jeep. It's closer, you might have some accuracy.
No. 64474 ID: 6faa8c

Shoot the jeep's engine. You'll penetrate, damage elctronics, starts a fire, and possibly cause esplosions.
No. 64565 ID: 6c80cf


Let's pull some shenanigans... LUPIN THE THIRD STYLE.

No. 64574 ID: fd6933

He could have just bought the disruptor, like you did. Was he targeting you with it just now, or the mojo'd brake pedal? If it's just the pedal, he can only block you for four more rounds, or else you could project an RPG in your hands, that should deter them a little.
No. 64581 ID: 7ef24d

Sounds good to me!
No. 64588 ID: f4963f
File 125549509578.jpg - (286.07KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_07.jpg )

>Trade spots with Joel, get her shooting.
Trading spots in the middle of a car chase might be possible! However, you seem to have underestimated Joel's AGILE. She's able to handle both for the time being.

The jeep pulls up alongside the car. A heavily armoured scrubber is manning the mounted gun; Nicolas can see through his magic-detecting glasses that the guy's military armour is further reinforced by magic. Joel's hitting him, but it's doing fuck-all to knock him off.

The deafening rattle of a machine gun fills the car as the agent fires off rounds at point blank, pegging both the occupants.

>Nicolas has been MODERATELY WOUNDED
No. 64590 ID: f4963f
File 125549511281.jpg - (213.96KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_08.jpg )

>Shoot the jeep, it's closer!
This is more within Nicolas' firing range. However, given the circumstances, he's going to use a somewhat liberal definition of 'the Jeep'.

The DAPPER DERRINGER penetrates the Scrubber's armour easily, and the stun effect leaves him tumbling off of the Jeep.
No. 64592 ID: f4963f
File 125549513971.jpg - (158.86KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_09.jpg )

Nicolas' Derringer is now empty. He could reload, but he decides it would be best to swap out drivers now.

"There's a supervisor in the other car!" he says as he takes the wheel. "He's got a psychic disruptor, I can't do anything!"

Primary control has switched to Joel.

Joel could really use some heavy metal right now.
No. 64593 ID: 4553b2

Pop in Beerstorm, blare radio.
No. 64594 ID: 476456

Now that the gunner is down try and take out the chopper.
No. 64601 ID: e3f578

Check pets' status.
No. 64609 ID: 12fc66

Joel, aim at the car with the supervisor. Nic has crazy psypowers that can drop helicopters and hurl cars. If you can take out the guy with the disruptor, you'll make this much easier.
No. 64622 ID: f4963f
File 125549763414.jpg - (160.12KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_10.jpg )

>Put in Beerstorm, crank up Radio.
Beerstorm. A metal group so awesome it borders on self-parody. Their songs are filled with praise for senseless drinking and violence. Joel inserts the disk and skips ahead to the most epic fucking track on it, 'Beard, Axe, Ale, Pride'. Heads are gonna roll.

"Joel? What're you doing?!"

"Quiet, Nic," she says. "I'm in my Zone."
No. 64624 ID: f4963f
File 125549768685.jpg - (170.77KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_11.jpg )

>Check Pet Status
Skimbles looks more moderately annoyed than anything.

Thankfully, both were out of the range of the bullet spam.
No. 64626 ID: f4963f
File 125549770944.jpg - (145.02KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_12.jpg )

>Let's take down that helicopter.
>Take out the supervisor.
Both good ideas. Joel quickly assesses her situation.

Joel's Glock is almost completely full; there's also a machine pistol within reach. It looks like the chopper's beginning to recover. She can also see the Supervisor's smug mug pretty clearly.

She's probably only got a few moments to react. What should she do?
No. 64628 ID: 476456

Dual wield! Suppress the car with the machine pistol while actually aiming at the helicopter.
No. 64630 ID: 632862

GRENADE! Shoot the guy that's holding it! SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE!
No. 64637 ID: af3e6d

If anything, lay down suppressive fire.
No. 64651 ID: ed8d8a

Face, hand, pretty much any place that results in live grenade inside their own car. Its mostly a matter if timing.
No. 64840 ID: f4963f
File 125556413935.jpg - (211.30KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_13.jpg )

Well shit. That would have been bad.

No. 64842 ID: f4963f
File 125556416724.jpg - (244.85KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_14.jpg )


The supervisor is dead.
No. 64843 ID: f4963f
File 125556418795.jpg - (216.35KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_15.jpg )

The helicopter has fully recovered! It sends a missile screaming Nicolas' way.

>Missiles are good, steer them into other cars!
Nicolas could try to psychic the missile; with its inertia, it'd be hard, but probably doable. If you want to do that, be aware that Nicolas is driving and will have to take his concentration off the road.

There's no time to switch over drivers, Nicolas needs to make a split decision. The missile doesn't look like it'll miss this time.
No. 64848 ID: 632862

Yes, do it! Hell, just use telekinesis to make it explode in midair if that'd be safer.

Joel, grab the wheel and keep the car from driving off the road.
No. 64856 ID: 4553b2

You've seen Gurren Lagann, right? Just crush the missile! Crush it like the explosive bug it is! Missiles tend to have very thin armor since they only need to last long enough to reach their destination. If you crush the back end of it, it will lose its propulsion and simply fall.
No. 64857 ID: 95484a

Yeah, psychic that missile! Maybe yell something to Joel first: she can't switch places in time, but she can probably grab the wheel. Then knock that missile away from you, or even back at the helicopter.

Remember, you don't have to move the whole missile. Just the guidance system, let it do most of the work.
No. 64885 ID: 6c80cf


The missile is moving downward and FORWARD, due to the speed of the helicopter, which has presumably matched yours. Unless it's homing. Regardless... this means there are two directions that it is moving in. Down and forward.

You have several options. Nudge it forward and slam on the brakes (destroying the road in front of you), accelerate and nudge it backwards (more effort, destroys the road behind you), or push it toward the car on your left.

I suggest the last. Don't try grabbing and shoving. It has it's own propulsion, just nudge it a little.
No. 66780 ID: f4963f
File 125593366188.jpg - (218.25KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_16.jpg )

"Joel! Steering!" Nicolas shouts, focusing. He's vaguely aware of how the car swerves. Beerstorm blazes on the car's radio.

Nicolas tries to nudge the missile gently at first, but it's coming in very fast, and that's a fair amount of inertia to change so quickly. Deciding he values his life more than his resource conservation skills, Nicolas yanks the missile over at the last second.
No. 66781 ID: f4963f
File 125593370165.jpg - (183.71KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_17.jpg )

The jeep has been destroyed.
No. 66782 ID: f4963f
File 125593372316.jpg - (198.73KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Chase_18.jpg )

Nicolas feels a rush of psychic backlash. Right now, it's just sort of a throbbing ache behind his eyes, but if he strains himself again, it could go worse. Joel has thankfully kept the car from crashing, and looking backwards, Nicolas notes that the helicopter has pulled out of the fight.

Nicolas pulls the car to the side of the road and takes a moment to gather his mind.

After a few minutes, he breathes deeply. "I apologize for the assassination attempt. I was hoping they would stay in the city."

"N-no," says Joel. "N-Nicolas, it's alright. I-I mean, it was me knowing Bubbles that... that got us in trouble last time, right?"

"He would have been there anyway," says Nicolas, knowing by every television trope on the face of the planet that that's not true.

"I-I guess you're right."

Nicolas waits.

"I think we need a little break from driving," he says at last.

"I could go for that. I-I mean, if you're okay with that. I guess it's your decision."

"Your vote counts too, Joel. You're a main character now. It's about you, not your company."

She laughs nervously. "... yeah, I could g-go for that."

"Where should we go?"
No. 66783 ID: 43d730

Get the coffee.
Discuss anything but the mission, the internet, or former or current jobs.
Allow pets to walk about.
Stay at least an hour.
No. 66843 ID: 1f46a3

Switch control to REBELLIOUS SCRUBBERS back at motel

Start sidequest to upgrade from BACKGROUND NPCS to SECONDARY CHARACTER PARTY
No. 66844 ID: 7ef24d

Sounds like fun, let's go with this.
No. 66999 ID: 5d5878

I support this in its entirety. If that is not viable, I support >>66783
No. 67082 ID: 18bca5

I like this idea, although a full-on alternate party seems a bit excessive. A small interlude now and again would be ideal.
No. 68675 ID: f4963f
File 125625548756.jpg - (208.87KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Diner_01.jpg )

>Alternate party!
>(This is... an interesting idea. We'll see if anything comes of it.)

>Diner, official chillax time. Pets come too.
After a few moments, Joel turns down the CD player. "I-I could just go for a coffee. Maybe something to eat."

"Alright. I can do that."

"But... but there's a few conditions."

"I'm listening."

"We don't... we don't talk about the trip. Or lolcats, o-or the internet, or anything related to the MIB. We just... relax."

No talking about the internet. Heh. Nic drums his fingers on the steering wheel. "Alright," he says.

The way to the diner is otherwise uneventful. Nic's a bit glad to pull off the freeway without being pulled over. Police forces are probably stretched too thin to cover every bit of road.

He and Joel seat themselves at the diner. Nicolas decides to bring the pets in with him.

"Excuse me, sir," says a waitress, approaching. "No pets are allowed in the..." She stops when she sees Joel.

"... um. In the other stores in our chain. But we do! Heh." She flashes the pair a nervous grin. "... please have a seat."
No. 68677 ID: 43d730

Order whatever and some water for the pets.
Ask for saucers for this purpose.
Also, chain diner? Shame on you.
No. 68854 ID: afbe56

Not sure it's actually a chain. I think she was just thinking of an excuse to avoid trouble.
But yeah, water for the animals. You guys haven't actually had breakfast yet have you? What time is it? Maybe they have omelets. I know that IHOP around here has omelets until midnight, so maybe they do in that joint too, even if time got away from you a bit. Otherwise, order their biggest burger.
No. 68865 ID: 15f6d6

Yeah, get what you like and chillax. Ask about hobbies and interests (without talking abut internets)
No. 69411 ID: f4963f
File 125650942646.jpg - (105.87KB , 627x554 , Ch4_Diner_02.jpg )

>A chain diner? Shame on you!
Yeah, yeah. That's all they have out here. Nicolas and Joel are currently somewhere between Nowhere and No-Man's-Land. The pickings are pretty slim. Besides, Joel specifically pointed this place out. Apparently she likes their milkshakes. The other thing they specialize in is steak, but Nic's not a big meat eater. Perhaps he'll try some, though.
No. 69412 ID: f4963f
File 125650945158.jpg - (204.47KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Diner_03.jpg )

Nicolas and Joel take their seats. It's funny how the first thing they do after hours of sitting in their cramped car seats is find some other seats to sit in. Twenty-first century progress? Nic just wonders when hoverchairs are coming.

>Have you guys had breakfast?
Nicolas had a bagel at the hotel, and then they fed on some of their trail rations - that is to say, Pringles - on the way here. Nic's still fairly hungry, though.

>Water for the pets.
"Pardon me, ma'am," says Nicolas. "I hope we didn't frighten you. We're on a long trip, and if you could just find a few saucers, maybe fill them with cool water for the pets?"

"Um... s-sure," says the waitress.

"And I'm sorry about the hassle," says Nicolas.

"It-it's alright," says the waitress. "I'll be right back, sir."

>Talk about hobbies and internets. I mean interests.
Sure! Nicolas can talk about his favourite webcomic, After! See, they just found out that the mercenary that- oh wait, crap. That's internet.

Nicolas figures it's politer to ask her first anyway.

"Hey Joel," he says. "Tell me a little about yourself. I kinda realize we don't know much about each other other than... well, what pertains to the mission. Er, trip. It's probably going to be a long drive."

She glances at him. "... w-well, I'm a bit of a metalhead, I guess. I-I mean, I like... metal groups. Um. Like Songwish. And... Deaf Defender. I like... I like to travel. Actually, I'm kind of a europhile."
No. 69420 ID: 4553b2

"I...I see. I happen to like *insert whatever kind of music you listen to here* myself, personally."

Allow awkward silence to settle in.
No. 69464 ID: f4963f
File 125651275071.jpg - (236.81KB , 861x639 , Ch4_Diner_04.jpg )

"I... I see. I happen to like musicals, myself."

Joel's eyes light up. "Oh! You too?" After a moment, she adds, "Let me guess. CATS?"

"Well, of course," says Nicolas, "but I like a number of other musicals too. I think my favorite has to be Wicked."

"Ooh, Wicked was good," says Joel. "I love Les Misérables, myself."

"Have you ever seen Joseph?"

The conversation continues for about an hour. It turns out, unsurprisingly, that Nicolas is a fan of The Lion King and CATS, but he also enjoys a number of plays by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Joel insists that Webber is overrated, but she admits that at least Phantom was good.

"God," she says at last, "we're such geeks."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Nicolas says.
No. 69473 ID: 4553b2

Skimbles is smart.

Anyway, if you two are done eating, you can continue this conversation on the road.
No. 69499 ID: f4963f
File 125651699527.jpg - (104.35KB , 719x621 , Ch4_Diner_05.jpg )

What're you talking about? Nicolas always thought Skimbles was kind of dim. Though...

"... meow?"
No. 69500 ID: f4963f
File 125651702374.jpg - (111.40KB , 580x555 , Ch4_Diner_06.jpg )

>If you're done, get back to the car.
Right. Nicolas doesn't want to hang around too long anyway. As Nicolas is writing the check, however, he hears a familiar voice.

"No, you don't understand, officer. We don't pay taxes because we're too good to pay taxes. It's the government that owes us for enriching their country, not the other way around!"

Oh, hey. It's the owner of the Seven Deadly Sammiches. Nicolas believes his name is Tyrael. They met him a few days ago in the city, and he gave them a donation of money to help take down the MIB. What's he doing out here?

"Law is the law, sir. Tax evasion is illegal. Your shop's getting handed over to your assistant manager 'til you've served your time."

Nicolas isn't sure if he should intervene.
No. 69501 ID: 4553b2

Of course he should intervene! You're a Big Damn Hero!

"What seems to be the problem, officer?"
No. 69509 ID: 15f6d6

Say that he is your client and you need to speak with him briefly. Let's see if you can't bullshit this.
No. 69517 ID: f4963f
File 125652070474.jpg - (143.02KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Diner_07.jpg )

"What seems to be the problem, officer?"

"Ain't no problem now, son. We're just doing our job, putting dangerous criminals in their place."

"... isn't tax evasion the FBI's job?"

"Quiet, boy."

"The only thing dangerous about me is my sex-appeal," says Tyrael. "Well, that and my tremendous strength and sharp wit, but I am such a noble man that I would never turn them to the hands of evil, no matter how dashing I would look as a knight of darkness."

>Say he's your client, Mr. Business Lawyer
That's... a pretty clever idea, actually.

"I'm sorry, officer, could I have a moment? We were actually just about to meet about the tax evasion issue. I'm Tyrael's lawyer, Nicolas Zere. We were hoping to settle this out of court."

"I... um. Well, it's a bit late for that now, isn't it, son? Where were you six months ago? And I thought his lawyer was a man named Victor Radley. You don't look anything like him, son."
No. 69518 ID: 4553b2

"Victor passed away recently. It was all over the papers. I'm taking over for him."
No. 69520 ID: f44349

"Well Victor obviously wasn't doing a very good job, eh?
That's why I'm here now."
No. 69521 ID: e3f578

Vic met unfortunate ends, did he not? I figure if a lawyer kills another lawyer, the killing lawyer gets all his clients. It's somewhere in the unofficial lawyer honor code book, isn't it? Like a weird gladiator thing tradition. I've lost this analogy.
No. 69522 ID: 15f6d6

Say that you are co-counsel recently hired by Victor. That would be far less easy to disprove.
No. 69568 ID: f4963f
File 125652522791.jpg - (139.99KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Diner_08.jpg )

This comment is awesome. You are awesome.

"He is," says Nicolas. "I'm a co-counsel hired by Victor to handle Tyrael's affairs."

"A what?"

"He pawned the job off on me, we split the fee. If you'd like, I can get into technical details. It's covered on page 327 of Lawyer McLawyerson's Boring Book of Law."

"I... fine," says the cop. "You can talk to him. Just, I was ordered to bring him in, so..." ... the guy's expression is hard to read behind his obnoxious shades and his pedophile-mustache, but Nic thinks he's a bit conflicted.

"Thank you, sir. It won't be a moment."
No. 69569 ID: f4963f
File 125652525727.jpg - (156.82KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Diner_09.jpg )

"Fancy meeting you here," Nicolas whispers.

"Most would be flattered."

"Listen, Tyrael. Do you want me to get you out of this mess or not?"

"... though I could have easily handled it myself, I'll exercise my generous humility by allowing you the honor."

"How much do you owe, anyway?"

"A lot." Tyrael lists off an approximate figure of three metric fucktons. It would be enough to put someone's wealth down three wealth levels.

Nicolas stares at Tyrael. "... you can afford that much," he says.

"But... they're asking way too much," protests Tyrael.

Argh. If we're getting Tyrael out of here, someone here is going to have to pay that fee off. Nicolas is exactly three wealth levels above BROKE.
No. 69572 ID: 15f6d6

Doesn't he realize that if they take him to prison, he will have to pay, but will also be a felon? Tax evasion is a felony, but the IRS is always willing to negotiate. they'd rather have the money than have somebody in jail.

At least convince him to spread some of the cost. He's going to end up paying the whole thing and going to jail if you do nothing.
No. 69574 ID: 4553b2

Use massive diplomacy cheese and flattery to convince him to pay his own damn taxes. After all, someone as kind and generous as him could certainly be gracious enough to donate to the charity that is this nation's legal system.
No. 69576 ID: 632862

Yes, explain to him all the good things tax money does.
No. 69582 ID: 7eda8b

"I'm very sorry, but as I see it, you have the choice here of either being poor, or being poor and in prison. Moreover, if you go to jail, it means I'll have failed to keep you out, and my adorable pet cat Skimbles will be sad. Would you do that to me? Would you do that to Skimbles? Is that the sort of man that you are?"

Say all of this in an extremely serious and businesslike tone of voice while steepling your fingers.
No. 69592 ID: af3e6d

These Seven Sammiches siblings are easy to control if you take advantage of their vice. Play to his pride.
No. 69601 ID: f4963f
File 125652787632.jpg - (157.21KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Diner_10.jpg )

>Doesn't he realize he'll have to pay it anyway?
>Poor, or poor and in prison?
I know, right?! Arguing with Tyrael is like shouting at a brick wall. Even when he's clearly wrong, he's never going to bloody admit it. Nicolas shakes his head. "Tyrael, if you don't pay your taxes, they're going to put you in jail and take your money anyway. And then I'll be sad. And my pet cat will be sad. We'll all be sad."

"Well of course you will," says Tyrael, "but it's really quite simple. I merely intend to talk to the jury and win their hearts. They'll hear my plight and agree that this is all a very silly affair. Then I won't have to do either. No not mourn my loss pre-emptively, my esteemed lawyer."

... right.

Arguing isn't working anymore. Nicolas needs to take the pink girl's words to heart here.

"Mmm. Yes, I'm sure you would, Tyrael. The problem is that there's a period of detainment before the trial, and the system is moving very slowly. I wouldn't want a person as fine as yourself to be marred in such unspeakable conditions."

"That... would be unfortunate," Tyrael admits.

"If only there were a way for you to show your reasonable nature, without actually having to put up with such inhumane treatment," Nicolas muses. "I don't know, though. I'm stumped. You seem to be in a hard spot. What solutions can you think of, sir?"

Tyrael looks a bit surprised. "Um... well. If I didn't want to sit in jail, I suppose I could... ooh, I've got it. I'll deliver the money directly to the IRS, and tell them to make note of my excessive generosity."

"Well," says Nicolas, "thoughts like that are why you're the manager of the Seven Deadly Sammiches, and I'm not. I'm quite impressed."

"Why thank you~"
No. 69611 ID: 7eda8b

"Can you handle the delivery yourself, or did you need some help?"
No. 69640 ID: 12fc66

Tyrael's far too PROUD to need help with something. If we ask this, be sure to say it more like...
"Would it be alright if I came along to watch you in action?"
... unless you really don't want to go with him, in which case, yeah, just ask if he needs help.
No. 69666 ID: f4963f
File 125653612170.jpg - (133.19KB , 841x600 , Ch4_Diner_11.jpg )

"Do you mind if we come along, then? I'm sure the officer will want to watch you."

"I'm fine with that," replies Tyrael.

Nicolas directs his attention to the cop. "Excuse me, officer, but I believe we've reached a compromise. Do you mind if we drive this man to the IRS?"

"Can't just let you drive him away, son. Wouldn't be very professional of me."

Hrm. "Would you be so kind as to drive this man to the IRS, then?"

"Well... if it gets rid of the problem, then I don't see why not."

"Thank you kindly, officer."

Tyrael and the officer head off.

"Oh my God," says Joel. "You played him like a fiddle."

"I know, right?" says Nicolas, grinning. "Damn that was easy."

"So, uh, what do we do now?" she asks.

"Follow them and add him to the party, of course."

"N-Nobody speaks like that, Nic." ... "You sure you wanna do that? Th-the MIB aren't going to stop coming at us, y'know."
No. 69667 ID: 632862

He probably wouldn't even come with us. He's got a business to run. Besides, he's kindof a giant tool.
No. 69668 ID: 4553b2

"Well of course they won't. They need to keep chasing us so we can level grind. But more party members always helps!"
No. 69673 ID: 12fc66

> "You sure you wanna do that?"

Tyrael is awesome. We must try to recruit him. At the very least, he'll make the team more colourful.
Let's follow him and make sure he gets through this okay.

> He's a tool.
You're a towel!
No. 69677 ID: 7eda8b

His incalculable self-absorption would get old.

Do you know what city they're driving to? How might it relate with your other current tasks?
No. 69683 ID: 632862


Correction: I am a damp towel.
No. 69721 ID: fb1d95

But his incalculable self-absorption makes him so very easy to control. Phrased right to feed his pride, he'd follow nearly any order. It would get pretty annoying, though...
No. 70054 ID: 12fc66

> His incalculable self-absorption would get old.
For you maybe.

> His incalculable self-absorption makes him so very easy to control.
He also has at least a few fucktons of money, which apparently we're starting to lack. Plus, he's the leader of the Seven Sammich Sinners.
Authority Equals Asskicking dictates that he must be capable of kicking some ass, even if he probably can't kick as much ass as he claims (because nobody can kick that much ass).
An extra gun arm is always handy.

Also, he's so full of himself, he'd probably think of himself as the greatest credit to anything we do. ANYTHING we do. Think about that.
"Why yes, officer, we did break into the rofldogs mainframe and replace all its files with a cat hypnotization loop. But it was Tyrael who did most of the work. Man, we couldn't have done it without him."
No. 71536 ID: f4963f
File 12571496373.jpg - (208.00KB , 841x600 , Ch4_IRS_01.jpg )

"Honestly, I'm a bit torn," says Nicolas. "The least we can do is talk and see which direction he's headed, though."

"Well... i-if you say so," says Joel. "I just think we're going to get him killed."

"Well... I'm just a business lawyer, and things could have gone worse."

"I guess you've got a point."


An hour passes. Nicolas and Joel manage to pass the time with music and empty chat, mostly waiting for Tyrael's no doubt dramatic confrontation with the IRS worker that Nicolas is somehow managing to pity. Mappy's being annoying. Nicolas pets her anyway.

The door to the main building has opened up, and Tyrael struts towards the car.
No. 71537 ID: c5f90c

That dog loves you so much, you should pet it and be nice to it. I mean, I know it's not a cat, but it tries its hardest.
No. 71564 ID: 4553b2

Ask Tyrael what he plans to do now.
No. 71571 ID: 15f6d6

See above comment.
No. 71647 ID: f4963f
File 125719307942.jpg - (157.85KB , 877x675 , Ch4_IRS_02.jpg )

But... but... it's a dog! They're just not as cute or adorable or huggable as cats! Dogs are for armpit-scratching jocks who give you wedgies in high school and crazy obese aunts with rim-horned glasses!


Okay. OKAY. FINE. Nicolas gives Mappy a little pet. For a dog, he supposes she's okay. Tolerable. Maybe even a little cute.
No. 71649 ID: f4963f
File 125719310430.jpg - (192.02KB , 841x600 , Ch4_IRS_03.jpg )

"Everything sorted out?"

"But of course~"

"So where were you headed?"

"San Francisco, baby," says Tyrael. "I'd have taken a flight, but the airlines are all shut down. Something about terrorism and governmental takeover?"

"Right, the MIB," says Nicolas. "Well, we were headed in the same general directions - westward, towards Colorado."

"Ooh... that works out well," says Tyrael.

"I should warn you that the MIB have been hunting us like dogs. Especially since I, y'know, killed their second in command."

"Hmph," says Tyrael, "how unsporting of them. How about this; I come along and protect you from the MIB, and in return, you can chip in for gas and dining."
No. 71652 ID: 4553b2

...Sure, hop in.
No. 71741 ID: 782100

I don't trust this guy. Make sure to ask him how he feels about Australia.
No. 71743 ID: 12fc66
File 12572088849.gif - (87.10KB , 150x100 , ownage.gif )

No. 71744 ID: f4963f
File 125721115984.jpg - (111.38KB , 503x534 , Ch4_IRS_04.jpg )

"Sure, hop in."

"Tsk. Do you think I walked here on foot? No, we need to get back to the diner and get my ride. Tyrael does not go /anywhere/ without his wheels."

Nicolas pauses, and then nods. "Alright. Then how I drive you over to the diner, and you can follow us in your car, then?"

"Alright," says Tyrael. "Let me hop in."

Nic can't tell if he's being ironic, or just stupid.

>I don't trust this guy.
Nic doesn't think Tyrael's in league with the MIB, but he'll make a mental note. He's liable to find Joel more trustworthy anyway.
No. 71756 ID: f4963f
File 125721348817.jpg - (131.32KB , 718x489 , Ch4_Plus_Two_Crotch_Extension.jpg )

Nicolas drives Tyrael back to the diner, where he gets into his... damn. Damn, man. Nic can't say he's surprised. Joel breaks into the chips beside Nic and just gives him a look.

"It's still better than having him in the car the whole way, don't you think?"

Joel just makes a face and puts the Phantom of the Opera back on.

Nicolas and Joel take stock. They've still got plenty of ammunition, gas cans, and multiple days worth of food for two people and two pets. Joel informs Nicolas that their supply of raisinettes is growing dangerously low.

This is probably going to be the last major stop for a few days, unless Tyrael railroads them into stopping someplace.

Anything the party should do before setting off?
No. 71760 ID: e3f578

Aww hell, have the awesome powers of Tyrael decipher that evil pig-dog-cat-devil statue. I'm still curious about the thing and we've tried everything easily thinkable.

A more productive option would be to take Mappy and Skimbleshanks for a walk while getting those raisennettes for their bathroom break then lets get out of here.
No. 71767 ID: 4553b2

I second everything mentioned here. Also we should pick up some bubble gum while we are here.

Make sure to run out of it before we reach Colorado.
No. 71770 ID: 19f945

Team Pose!
No. 71775 ID: 43d730

Shit hasn't become real yet.
No. 71780 ID: e3f578

We need a Corgyn party member to contrast George the cutebold first. Then shit would be so unbelievably real that the amount of comatose questers would increase by tens.

Shit man, /quest/ needs more corgyns.
No. 71782 ID: f4963f
File 125721882560.jpg - (170.57KB , 841x600 , Ch4_End_01.jpg )

"Hey. You." Nicolas walks up to Tyrael and pushes the cat-pig... dog... thing into his face. "You're smart. Figure out what the hell this thing is."

"A... figurine?" asks Tyrael.

"Yes," says Nicolas. "A figurine that keeps appearing where it shouldn't. It's not magic. Or maybe it is, and it's just really good at hiding it. I don't know. I don't care. All I know is it's pissing me off."

"... of course I can figure out what's going on," says Tyrael. "I just need a few days."

"You do that," says Nic. "I'm going to get Joel a chocolate IV. Will a one hour departure time work for you?"

"A gentleman is always ready," says Tyrael.

"Damn straight," says Nicolas, taking Mappy and Skimbles with him.
No. 71784 ID: f4963f
File 125721887040.jpg - (225.19KB , 841x600 , Ch4_End_02.jpg )

Nicolas and Joel start off on the long stretch to Colorado. Though a cross-country trip is by no means short, matters are further complicated by cluttered traffic and slow governmental breakdown. Behind them, Tyrael follows in his sports car.

It's going to be a long trip.
No. 71785 ID: f4963f
File 125721890033.jpg - (119.46KB , 841x600 , Ch4_End_Splash.jpg )

== Chapter Four End ==
No. 71830 ID: 476456

You have 3 people in a car, commence haddaway blasting.
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