Oh, I'd like to bring up the issue of taking a drunk girl home to have sex. Isn't that frowned upon due to consent issues? I don't know how you normally would avoid the moral issue unless she gives you consent ahead of time or something. I guess you could just wait until she sobers up before going all the way...

>>485927
Agreed, aside from that it is also a way to turn her down without hurting her feelings (probably).
Remember you did strongly imply to a certain crewmate you wouldn't tap that one.

>>485927
Nah we're good. She wouldn't be drinking much before the council sees us, and we won't have enough time to do anything until after it concludes.

>>486023
We did no such thing. We implied that we probably would, actually.

Hal 2013/01/21(Mon)00:44 No. 486627 ID: f707c7
File 135875785697.png - (318.25KB , 800x600 , 46.png )

"Honestly, I'm offended."
She covers her mouth with one sleeve. "Oh, no."
"Both at the implication that I wouldn't want the right thing regardless and at the idea that I throw some kind of routine around. I just do as close to what I think is right and if there is someone I find charming, I do my best to be charming back. I don't go through my life counting these things."

She starts making a long, slow air jerk with one hand, rolling her eyes back into her head.

"All right, well, look," I say. "You wouldn't kiss and tell, would you?"

"Fourteen," she says, immediately. "Once two at the same time. Number nine, Dirkus, is four tables away from us right now. You do go through your life counting those things because everyone counts these things and I need a solid integer, Hal."

"Thirty four," I say, because sometimes you just have to admit you're not as smooth as you think you are.

She grins. "Now didn't that feel good to get off your chest? Torso? Pseudopod? Whatever?

I shrug. "I leave a good impression."

"You play the game, Hal, and you play it good, but you don't need to with me." She stretches, shamelessly. "We both know what you're trying to do, and if getting me in bed is suddenly the Right Thing or Just Doing Your Job or something, who am I to stand in the way of the greater good? But if you just want to fuck me, then skip the spiel and say you want to fuck me. This ain't my first rodeo, cowboy, and once the council finds you innocent, which they will, because you are, and once you down a drink or two, which you should, because you've already said everything you need to say, maybe you could get yourself a room, and you could tell me where it is, and I could come over," she leans forward, "and I could give you a few riding lessons."

>>486627
I dunno Hal, are YOU feeling very seduced here? It's not like you are completing a scavenger hunt. You're not exactly desperate, and while honesty is one thing, this girl is approaching callous in presentation. She was a lot cuter when she was still playing the game. As they say, its not the destination, its the journey.

...okay.

>>486627
"My fair lady, you've given me some talking lessons here. Me of all people, who knew there was more to learn. I must say, I may fear you and more of your lessons. But you teach them so well and so cleverly. For the first time in years, I have been humbled in my own court. Take me out to the yard and tell me how the lawyers buck their rides."

>>486627
OUT-PLAYED.

Answer her question by ordering a drink.

>>486710
seconded

>>486630
Yeah, this is really kind of offputting. You sincerely aren't going for some kind of high score, and you need to remember to be careful not to let people pressure you into things with nearly the same methods you use to pressure them. Turn her down gently.

"You know, it might be a game we all play, but personally I find the game at least as fun as the destination. I happen to have a good memory, but that's in no small part because of all the memorable people I've met; I don't think I'd ever refer to someone I'd romanced as 'number nine'. There's something to be said for actually playing the game, and I'd think that someone with as much of a gift for words as you have would appreciate a bit of verbal foreplay. To answer your blunt question with a blunt answer, no, I didn't particularly want to "skip the spiel and say I wanted to fuck you"; I was looking forward to enjoying a bit of romance, and I thought that after the impressive displays you've put on in the past you might as well. Congratulations on an impressive bit of verbal maneuvering indeed, but I can't say I find the idea of being 'number fifteen' particularly romantic at the moment. Have a nice day."

(This is meant genuinely, and not as a "hard to get" tactic. I'd say if she decides to treat this as "hard to get" and come back later with a bit more romance in mind, by all means enjoy yourself, but if not I don't think you need another notch in your bedpost quite this desperately. Romance is not dead quite yet, but she just tried to take it out back and put it out of its misery.)

>>486743
Actually, that's the problem: she *isn't* using the same kind of methods. She's just crassly asking for sex, which is just about the polar opposite.

Hal 2013/01/21(Mon)23:17 No. 486825 ID: f707c7
File 135883905637.png - (326.10KB , 800x600 , 47.png )

Chivalry remains alive and well, headvoices mine, but perhaps it should fight its battles with a little more tact.
Some women have tentacles, some have fur, some find it sexy to play at the intricacies of romance, and some find it sexy just to take the pretense away and tell you exactly what they want. I wouldn't turn a lady down for an extra head; why should a little directness get my panties in a bunch? She is by no means the most aggressive woman I've had; if you'll recall correctly Talia tackled me.

"I've been outplayed like this twice before and only twice before," I say, signalling for a drink, "and you're lucky I find that incredibly attractive."
"I find your willingness to drop the mask for me a little just as attractive." I feel her foot rest against my thigh under the table. "Hal, hey. I know you love chasing girls almost as much as what happens at the end of the race. It just so happens that I love chasing dudes. I know you don't just see us as crusty gym socks or anything. You are God's three legged gift." A saucy smile slinks across her face. "Well, you are if your bite is as good as all the barking you've been doing."
"I don't actually have teeth."
She winks. "You can just outsource the biting to me."

She looks up, and I turn to see Delanida, councillor of Tribe Volanthis, working her way through the bar, with Talia and Anka in tow.
"To be continued," Diamanda whispers, then straightens up and tilts her head with deference to Delanida, who returns the gesture.

"I hope we aren't interrupting anything," says Anka, sounding as delighted as always to be interrupting something, "but the councillor here told us she wanted to see you."
"And it wasn't exactly hard to puzzle out where you were going to be," says Talia, with all the grace of a weed whacker.

"We have reviewed your case, Halaris," says Delanida, stiffly, "and we wish to make it very clear that under no circumstances does the leadership of Tribe Volanthis endorse what happened here today. The Alliance and the Council have worked closely on many occasions and although we anticipate a continuation in that relationship the events of this afternoon were entirely by your volition and in no way set any sort of precedent, agreement, or commendation. That being said," she sighs, "in light of the zero effective fatalities and the selectively localized damage of your activity, we are prepared to overlook the breaches of etiquette that occurred today and voted unanimously to pursue no charges or disciplinary action of any kind."

>>486825
So basically he's saying we're in the clear but goddamn it don't do that again. Also, she is being very formal here, so you should as well. Put your [diplomatic] face on.

Thank her for their leniency, and that you hope this does not hinder any future dealings they have with the Alliance.

>>486825
Express your pleasure at the councils wisdom, yada yada, diplomacy. Find out what the catch is.

cool beans. now continue with what you were doing before they came.

Thank them for their gracious response, and ask if you could take any steps to help smooth things over a bit.

Perhaps mention that this is only the military side of things and hint that, swiftness is generally considered the best case for various reasons.

Perhaps a "We deal with actual threats to people's lives as swiftly and quickly as possible; discomfort is only temporary," and leave it... hanging with all the implications.

Hal 2013/01/22(Tue)21:25 No. 487050 ID: f707c7
File 135891875776.png - (179.76KB , 800x600 , 48.png )

"I thank the council for their leniency," I tell her [diplomatically]. "If I could take any steps to smooth things over..."

"Simply refrain from destroying any more buildings for the duration of your stay, Halaris, and you will have the council's gratitude," says Delanida, sharply. She sighs. "And off the record, Halaris, I apologize for the actions of myself and Dersichore. We... overreacted to your actions, I believe. If dreimian lives had been lost Tribe Volanthis would have retracted its support of the alliance without question... but I suppose they were not, and I suppose that means we owe you our thanks."
"Thank you, councillor."
"Just warn us next time, dear."

I'm about to return to Diamanda when I get an incoming call from the Captain. "Sorry, Di. I have to take this."
"Take your time," she says, then asks Talia and Anka, "Do either of you two want drinks? Hal's got it."
"I can't drink," Talia says sullenly.
"Heck yeah I want a drink," says Anka. "Sorry, Tal."

"This is Qalwitness News reporting to you live from the smoking crater that used to be Pirate HQ," the commander tells me over the wire. "We just finished doing awesome shit that probably made whatever you were doing look boring and also stupid by comparison."
"I got to blow a building up from space," I say.
"I heard," he says. "Is my rollicking surprise party coming along nicely or should we go warm up the engines before the mobs start gathering?"
"Just tell us the color streamers you want, sir."
"I knew I could count on you. And by that I mean I didn't, because I barely even know you. But I know my gut and it told me, Captain, you should shoot this man in the head and make him do all your paperwork. Thank you, Gut. And thank you, Hal."
"Thank you, sir."
"Everybody gets one. And stop repeating me. If I wanted an echo chamber I'd talk into the hollowed out skulls of all those dead pirates. We're going to rearm and regroup then be in town by midnight, but because of how well this mission did I'm going to give everyone the weekend shore leave before we're back out in the sky. Enjoy it and if you want to launch any more space lasers don't hesitate to give me a call."
"Of course, sir."
"Il capitano out. Wait."
"Sir?"
"Blue streamers. Ok, now I'm out."

I hang up. "We've got the weekend to spend before we have to jet out again."
Anka fistpumps.
"Well if you don't have to get up early tomorrow," says Diamanda, "do you guys want to blow this popsicle stand and head to the Tashak den?"
"Tashak?"
"Tashak is Dreimian hookah stuff and I say very yes," Anka tells me. "Oh my god, I've always wanted to try it."
"I don't know," says Talia.
"Talia, c'mooon," says Anka. "It's not like booze! You can actually do this stuff too."

>>487050
This is going to go down bad, I can just tell. When we're done with our little high bug trip we'll be in the middle of some serious shit.

Let's go get high then.

>>487050
Is she unsure because she doesn't want to hang around and watch you hit on Diamanda(kinda doubt it honestly), or is she unsure because she's not keen on drugs? Or something else? Use your [intuition] to figure it out. Could be an important detail. Construct your argument for her to come appropriately. If it's because she's not into drugs, you can tell her she doesn't have to go all in with it if she doesn't want to. If she's not keen on watching you hit on Diamanda you can joke about not making out in front of her with literally all the girls.

I am totally waiting for the other shoe to drop, but we should probably go anyway. No sense backing out of a great time just due to a little paranoia.

okay. just don't smoke too much if this is your first try. pace yourself. you probably know the deal already.

Going on a drug bender seems like a bad idea here; not on general principles, but on the very specific principle that you're still at least somewhat on a mission here, so maintaining a clear head seems like a good idea. What if the pirates come calling?

How about telling Diamanda something like this: "I feel like I want to keep a clear head for a while longer, just in case something comes up; we are *technically* still on mission. Besides, I'd really like to finish the diplomatic negotiations we were talking through earlier; I think we'd managed to cut through all the wordplay and figure out what we really wanted."

Dude, you guys are uptight. This is clearly a more enlightened age, I think we can relax pretenses. Anyway, hookah doesn't get you high, it's tobacco. Go ahead, convince the hesitant lady that she doesn't have to smoke if she doesn't want to, but she should join the fun. Maybe we can get a threesome going. Have fun!

We should get some blue streamers set up for the captain before we go there.
Demerits are bad, after all.
Just need a few people on rooftops to throw them down at him; maybe we can get volunteers at the den.

You are a winner. You should go do drugs.

Hal 2013/02/24(Sun)23:33 No. 495925 ID: a2d9b1
File 136177760017.png - (128.23KB , 800x600 , 49.png )

"I feel like a winner, and I think it's time to debunk a few myths about winners re: the recreational use of drugs," I say. "Lead on, Diamanda."

We head to hit the Hookah House, dragging Talia grumblingly along. My intuition tells me she's not keen on seeing this little bug lady seduce her crush, but Anka tells her that she is not ruining this for her and kind of drags her along. "You haven't gotten out of your armor-plated skull in months, Talia. Come ooon."

We reach the place and Diamanda pays our way in. A crowd of dazed Dreimians congregate in sleepy, happy heaps around hoses that stick out of the floor with no identifiable source.

"Okay, Super Agent Halaris," she says, winking and pulling an unused hose out to length. "How about you take the first dose and show us what it's all about?"

>>495925
"After all this action I think it's a fine change of pace that I embarrass myself in front of everyone, so I will take you up on that offer."

Might want to sit down before you inhale. ...how does a Shirm sit?

Aw yeah hit dat shit shrigga

don't overinhale, now.

Remember the words of your predecessor, Hal, and get buzzed, not stoned, so you can perform the horizontal waltz later.

420 blaze it faggot

Hal 2013/02/25(Mon)21:21 No. 496173 ID: 57319f
File 136185607936.png - (88.12KB , 800x600 , 50.png )

"Well, I guess it's only fair that I embarrass myself in front of everyone after being so cool today." I take the hose.

"Oh, don't worry, Hal, you embarrass yourself in front of me all the time," says Anka. Talia punches her in the arm.

Okay; I've done this sort of thing before. I breathe deep.

Hal 2013/02/25(Mon)21:21 No. 496174 ID: 57319f
File 136185609086.png - (227.36KB , 800x600 , 51.png )

I don't know if it's working.
Hmmm, maybe it is.

hmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmy ears are ringin'.
wait i don't have ears.

whoaaa. is that my voice? or wait; is that my think-voice?
also if we're talking about what's mine, if we're going on that tangent: is that MY hand? hahahahaha it looks so tiny ahahaha

wow, this is some strong shit

"Is It Working? Hal?"

ooo its talia
man her claws look really nice right now
wait did i think that or did i say that?
"You said it.

Okay maybe I do want a hit or two of this."

>>496174
Don't bogart the bong, man. Pass that shit.

Hal 2013/02/25(Mon)21:46 No. 496181 ID: 57319f
File 136185758361.png - (198.57KB , 800x600 , 52.png )

i pass the pipe. i moooove the love on down the circle. hit this shit, talia.
"Yessir."
that's an order.
"Yessir."
also anka.

haaaaaa hair is so crazy. why do humans have hair, anka?
"Evolution?"
its crazy
your hair looks like a bird
"You are high as fuck, my friend."

ok, but your hair totally looks like a bird

then all of us smoke a lot and talk??? its cool

you guys are fucking space badasses its ridiculous

"You're ridiculous Hal"
"In a good way"

Hal 2013/02/25(Mon)21:46 No. 496182 ID: 57319f
File 136185760298.png - (197.92KB , 800x600 , 53.png )

"Hail the conquering heroes!"
when did the captain and belding get here? hey
"Just now. They got here just nowowow."
oh. cool.
"Agent Halaris! What is the situation here? Where are my streamers?

What's that smell?"

>>496182
Drugs, sir. We are high as fuck.

>>496182
I suggest Anka not try it. If it gets electric space rock monsters and indestructible crab people high, it'll probably make a human dissolve.

>>496182
Pass him the pipe. The circle of love must grow!

"I got your streamers riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight here, sir." Get him the pipe.

>>496182
Still waiting on the blue ones, sir. They had only had red and cerulean on hand.

Hal 2013/02/25(Mon)22:53 No. 496208 ID: 57319f
File 136186161048.png - (332.19KB , 800x600 , 54.png )

they only had red and cerulean on hand, sir. i put in an order for some blues.

and the smell is dreimian hyperweed, and we're high, sir.
"That's against regulations, Agent Halaris."
sorry, sir.
"You had better get me so high I forget."

then we do that.

more people from the raiding party show up and things get louder and rowdier but the dreimians are cool with it.
they're so happy all the time i love these little guys

i guess that pink qal is belding's gf? that's nice

"this is crazy"
that was talia.
"i'm ok with you having sex with diamanda hal, i think"
maybe don't talk so loud
"awwww come on you know you're prouda yourself. just promise me we're still a thing"
a thing?
"a friends with benefits thing i dunno"
oh totally
"cool
ok cool
you're cool"
you too talia

theres music on the whole time its really nice; wait, what time is it?
"pretty late we've been here for like 2 hours"
ok
who said that
"anka"
are you going to melt or anything anka?
"naw i'm feelin pretty good"
cool just thought i would check

Hal 2013/02/25(Mon)22:57 No. 496212 ID: 57319f
File 136186184704.png - (118.18KB , 800x600 , 55.png )

it starts to wind down and belding and pink lady head out
shes cute good for him

theres something warm and soft on my leg what is that

oh it's diamanda's boobs
theyre nice
"do you like the fauna here on Faro 8?"
its great but i wouldnt mind getting a better feel for the flora
i dont think i say that last part out loud??
"wanna get out of here?"

>>496212
Sure thing babe.

Hal 2013/02/26(Tue)00:05 No. 496228 ID: 57319f
File 136186590084.png - (9.60KB , 800x600 , 56.png )

we go and get a room at the inn and i tell them everyone else will be along soon and diminai sort of raises and lowers her eyebrows at me as diamanda pulls me upstairs.

we're two steps in when she jumps me and if she was a couple feet taller i think one of us would have broken a bone.

ok today was a good day good night everyone

oh fuuuuuck

...go to sleep, she can't do much to you anyway.

>>496291
Dude, she was totally fine with just fucking.

I think that's actually one of the pirates. SHOOT! If it's one of yours, they'll be fine. If it's a pirate, you'll save your friends' life!