Dr. Tory 2012/08/18(Sat)12:51 No. 444650 ID: db39c8
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... Behold!

Dr. Tory 2012/08/18(Sat)12:53 No. 444654 ID: db39c8
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After unveiling and testing my latest version of ultra-hyper long-range matter-wave-matter transportation platform, I managed to bring uninvited faggots into my sacred and holy tower! Who are these fuckers?!
I need to get rid of them. All of them! Preferably in overly violent and scientific way!

CORN!

Well, obviously, you just need to throw the tele-platform into reverse. And then either send them back from whence they came, or tele-frag the lot of 'em.

Highly methodical and analyzed deathmatches. For the purposes of turning whatever skills and powers they may possess to your own benefit.

Sic Teddy at em!

>Kaustinen
VOID. VOID VOID VOID.

How'd your tower get bent anyway?

Dr. Tory 2012/08/18(Sat)13:34 No. 444683 ID: db39c8
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I express my interested in deathmatch in incredibly evil monologue. One of the invaders seems to be kinda interested in whole thing, and announces that he will help me in it!

Analyze the uppity one. Never trust enthusiasm from those you mean to inflict hell upon.

>>444683
Lie to him that he will be spared if he helps us set up our deathmatch lalapalooza.

>deathmatch
>he will help me in it

...that's not snide hero quip talk for trying to kill you, is it? Be wary, Tory.

PERFECT

Tell him his first opponent can be that yellow guy.

Can this quest actually be back?

Anyway, void.

Dr. Tory 2012/08/18(Sat)13:53 No. 444699 ID: db39c8
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In a extremely shorty short moment, I have my own kill-deathmatch-race-whatever-arena! Fuck.
How unnecessary yet so necessary right now!
Anyway, the guy disappeared somewhere while I was measuring quantity of my surprise and left some note.

Dr. Tory 2012/08/18(Sat)13:55 No. 444701 ID: db39c8
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And it is full of nonsense. Fffffor fuck's sake.
It seems that he has already prepared the faggots for deathmatches. It is time to decide the fights!

Yellow v Blue, because colors.
Kaustinen v Edmund, because names.

Then mash the people with the crazy symbols names together however because it's not like you can read that stupid shit anyways.

Let's go with first nonsense vs. second nonsense.

First match: YELLOW vs BLUE
2nd: Wing name thing vs Circle name thing
3rd: Kaustinen vs Edmund
4th: Those other unpronouncable guys

Lets take the easy way out and just put numbers from 1 to 8 next to the names and have number 1 fight number 2, number 3 fight 4 and so forth.

Yellow vs. Blue,
Kaustinen vs. Edmund,
BATTLEROYAL for the rest of the unpronouncable assholes, you'll be bored by then anyway and want this stupid thing to be over.

Dr. Tory 2012/08/18(Sat)14:22 No. 444730 ID: db39c8
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YELLOW VERSUS BLUE!
The interlopers enter the area and...
and...
uh.
Why are they doing jackshit!
"MURDER EACH OTHER OR I WILL PURGE THIS ARENA WITH FIRE!"
"It's fucking pointless man, we are both dead already. Zombie goasts you fool!"
"Blue, let's just leave this butthurt fellow. It's not like walls can keep us here.."
"Eh, yeah but uh...! I knew that!"

They disappear.
FFfff. That is what I wanted, but not like this!
Arrgh.
Okay, that's about that. Now, my not-canon brother versus some Edmund? Interesting!

...double fatality!

Go grab something from your anti-ghost arsenal and prove that dead things can die even harder.

Nice try Tory. Everybody knows Kaustinen is always canon.

Dr. Tory 2012/08/18(Sat)14:35 No. 444736 ID: db39c8
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EDMUND VS. KAUSTINEN!
Gates open, Kaustinen marches in and Edmund runs in!
Kaustinen then proceeds to complain to Edmund about the whole setup, how he has been without alcohol for too long time and has reached new height of irritation. Edmund shrugs his complaints, activates his jetpack and uh
>"You! I cannot let these fights happen! Gunfriend, get ready!"
>"Ok dude, let's do this!"

Edmund is rocket pack-ing it up to kill you?

Shoot him in the gun-friend. Then kill him, attacking the even organizer is a red card.

Kaustinen wins the match by default!

WHAT

Shoot his jetpack Tory

Yell to Kaustinen that you have lots of alcohol but its hidden and if he wants it he has to save us by beating Edmund!

Dr. Tory 2012/08/18(Sat)15:03 No. 444757 ID: db39c8
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Shoot with what? I have some anti-air cannons on the tower, but he is in very unfortunate angle to them meaning that I cannot

>"TWEWY BEEAAAMU!"

Ow fuck fuck fuck my walls!!

Oh by the way he has the best gun.

Uh... Make a speech, or something! Describe to him how this was all a test to make sure that he was the best fighter-dude! And that once he won, you were totally gonna equip him with sciencey stuff so he could go fight evil, and you only acted evil to fool his competitors!

Tory, are you unarmed?! You're concealing no awesome science beams on your person? What is wrong with you.

Dr. Tory 2012/08/18(Sat)15:31 No. 444794 ID: db39c8
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What?! Are you questioning me?!
I do have magnificent weapons of destruction, but they don't go walls without... harming things!

The damn kid is like a fly anyway! Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!

I try to persuade him, but it is all futile. He is really dumb!
Wait... I hear something from below!

Dr. Tory 2012/08/18(Sat)15:33 No. 444796 ID: db39c8
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>"Hey bro it's really boring here and I am hungry hombre do you have any spaghetti ready because I would really love me some spaghetti. also alcohol I have been sober too long. I am going to go through this wall bro."

But that's where I keep my explodium!

This is going very badly. When did you start to suck so much? At least you should have acquired their secrets before they shoot you with them! If not during! And shoot them back with!

Try to do something useful with the new problem.

>I am going to go through this wall bro.
>But that's where I keep my explodium!

Sounds like that problem will take care of itself. Lets deal with the flying jerk. Call out your giant flyswatting robots- giant mechanical flies with flyswatter wings and compound missile cluster eyes.

Dr. Tory 2012/08/18(Sat)15:47 No. 444813 ID: db39c8
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Ok I call my swat-bots-

Wait a second!

>Letting that imbecile go through ultra-expensive mega-high-tech hyper-wall
>Risking exploding the explodium

Do not underestimate the explodium! It is not like explosium! It is much, MUCH more potent you fools-!

>"Ok bro sorry for your wall"

POW!

Dr. Tory 2012/08/18(Sat)15:47 No. 444814 ID: db39c8
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KA-BOOM!

[ The End ]

Time to activate the clones in the backup towers!