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File 125218678214.png - (62.20KB , 567x567 , title.png )
38522 No. 38522 ID: 6136db

Why hello there orb voices!
I am Dumy, a bard of some renown among my people. I have come to spread my art to all lesser creatures of the land!

One of your kind threw you to me to aid me in my quest. I stored you in my belly for safekeeping.

Will you help me?
Expand all images
>>
No. 38525 ID: 520fde

Hey sup. Sure we'll help. Just need a few questions answered first. You male or female? Got any sisters?
>>
No. 38527 ID: c6e844

What the fuck are you?
>>
No. 38530 ID: efa41b

Sure, I suppose. You appear to be some sort of malformed doobie, is this correct?
>>
No. 38533 ID: 6136db
File 125218720968.png - (95.90KB , 567x567 , 1.png )
38533

>>38525
I'm a doobie!
>>38527
I'm a doobie!
>>38530
Yes.

I seem to be on this balcony. I hear some terribly singing from inside.
>>
No. 38534 ID: 520fde

SING THEM THE SONG OF YOUR PEOPLE!
>>
No. 38535 ID: c6e844

>>38533
Incestigate the source of the singing.
>>
No. 38536 ID: 4f736e

Jump off the balcony. Land head first. It'll be great, trust me.
>>
No. 38538 ID: 6136db
File 125218786331.png - (118.10KB , 567x567 , 2.png )
38538

>>38534
>>38535
Ok!

>"What? Who's that?"
"DEEEERPAA DUURR! DERKA DERPA DEYARGG! GURGLE DURP DERPP!"
>"AAAAH! HELP ME"
>>
No. 38539 ID: 91843d

>>38538
She is clearly smitten by your brilliance! Finish your song and get close to her all smooth like.
>>
No. 38542 ID: 520fde

Hark! some manner of hideous beast cries out for help. It is our duty as a superior being to save the poor thing.
>>
No. 38544 ID: c6e844

>>38538
It's clearly some disgusting monster with messed up eyes, slay it for XP and gold.
>>
No. 38545 ID: 64f8ae

where is our one string banjo?
>>
No. 38557 ID: 6136db
File 125218921974.gif - (54.85KB , 567x567 , 3.gif )
38557

>>38539
"DERPA durp DAuUua-uuh!~"
>"AAGH GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK!"
She must like it. I can't really tell with these lesser races, but she's certainly flailing a lot.
>>38542
I think it's just applauding.

>>38544
I'm a lover, not a fighter!

>>38545
it's right ov- Where is it? I guess I must've forgotten the darned thing.
>>
No. 38558 ID: 91843d

>>38557
She turned her behind to you. In lesser races like house cats and some canines it suggests that the female is ready to mate.
Put a Q-Tip™ in some of that warm water and insert it into her gently. That should subdue her urges, at least for the while.
>>
No. 38560 ID: 520fde

How cute. She's presenting. She must be dazzled by our brilliant charisma. We should give it our embrace. It's an ugly thing, but showing our favor would be a nice mercy to bestow upon it.

then take some of it's clothes. We'll need to blend in.
>>
No. 38563 ID: 6136db
File 12521899985.png - (110.36KB , 567x567 , 4.png )
38563

>>38558
What's a kyu tip?

>>38560
Embrace that thing? That's disgusting! But Dumy trust you.
>>
No. 38565 ID: c6e844

>>38563
No don't, think of your superior Doobie genes.
>>
No. 38566 ID: 91843d

>>38563
A Q-Tip™ is short for Cooter Tip, and as the name implies it is used on cooters. Basically, it's a stick with a soft end. You can ghetto rig one, so to speak, by wrapping the end of anything stick-like with cloth.
>>
No. 38574 ID: 6136db
File 125219117762.png - (104.83KB , 567x567 , 5.png )
38574

>>38566
Oh, okay.

>>38565
>>38560
So maybe just a quick noserub? That's what these lesser things do isn't it?
>>
No. 38577 ID: 358e6b

>>38574
Rub her nose until the red liquid of happiness flows.

You might have to rub hard.
>>
No. 38589 ID: 6136db
File 125219209341.gif - (302.24KB , 567x567 , 6.gif )
38589

>>38577
Okay!
>>
No. 38600 ID: 91843d

>>38589
Now punch it in the face to establish dominance.
>>
No. 38603 ID: bffa2a

>>38589

These things get quiet and affectionate after the act. If it still is excitable and loud you need to cool it off. Shove it under water until it calms down.
>>
No. 38604 ID: 6136db
File 125219298962.png - (106.83KB , 567x567 , 7.png )
38604

>>38600
>>38603
No, it looks like it went to sleep.
Wow, look at all that happy juice. She must've really liked that noserub.

So now what?

Ooh yeah! Clothes! I'm sure she won't mind.
>>
No. 38614 ID: 92bbc1

Make sure you pick something frilly and pink~
>>
No. 38617 ID: 6136db
File 125219362992.png - (60.76KB , 567x567 , blank.png )
38617

The lesser thing has a lot of clothes! But they're so confusing! Help me with them, please?

[You know what to do]
>>
No. 38636 ID: 92bbc1
File 125219488969.png - (51.53KB , 567x567 , ohgodwhatisthis.png )
38636

SO PRETTY
>>
No. 38646 ID: 91843d
File 125219540912.png - (117.30KB , 567x567 , 125219362992.png )
38646

Don the outfit of the greatest fighter who ever lived!
>>
No. 38652 ID: 5ba271
File 125219567769.png - (107.28KB , 567x567 , Romania wins the world cup.png )
38652

>>
No. 38654 ID: d8d7df
File 125219602317.png - (65.04KB , 567x567 , DoobieDress.png )
38654

>>38617
As a Doobie, you deserve only the best outfit that the lesser races have to offer. With this dress of princessy splendor, all will stare upon you with appreciation and envy at your superior superiority!
>>
No. 38657 ID: 007a2e

I am so confused and scared right now ;_;
>>
No. 38673 ID: 64f8ae
File 125219776229.png - (37.98KB , 567x567 , hurpderp.png )
38673

>>
No. 38674 ID: 1980dc
File 125219781582.jpg - (99.44KB , 567x567 , dicksdoobie.jpg )
38674

SING THEM THE DONG OF YOUR PEOPLE
>>
No. 39026 ID: 5ba271
File 125227107617.png - (61.73KB , 567x567 , This is the worst thing I e\'er did draw.png )
39026

>>
No. 39561 ID: 64f8ae
File 125237070130.jpg - (91.48KB , 567x567 , doobie power suit.jpg )
39561

I was coerced
>>
No. 39738 ID: 6164e0

>>39561
Why does that make the doobie way more terrifying than most characters in gimp outfits?
>>
No. 39777 ID: d2ea61

>>39738

Because it's a doobie, obviously.
>>
No. 40499 ID: 58f84b
File 125252364583.png - (122.80KB , 567x567 , pose.png )
40499

GLORIOUS!
I look just like the lesser things.

And she had most of those things in her clothes-box-thing.

Ok, now what should I do?
>>
No. 40501 ID: ba61c1

>>40499
I dunno. Pocket all manner of expensive looking things and get outa there.
>>
No. 40506 ID: 58f84b
File 125252445079.png - (17.79KB , 567x567 , spoon.png )
40506

>>40501
What's this? Is is expensive?
>>
No. 40509 ID: 2cbe3e

Yes that is actually called an expensive. Get as many expensives as possible. They are valuable.
>>
No. 40511 ID: c967e9

>>40509
Actually, valuables are a bit longer and have a cutting edge on side.
>>
No. 40515 ID: bffa2a

>>40499

That lower being was a princess and I think you just performed the marriage rights. By tradition half the kingdom belongs to you on such occasion so go claim what is yours from the king. This is an opportunity to show these lower beings that only doobies know how to run a goverment perfectly.
>>
No. 40518 ID: 58f84b
File 125252585794.png - (54.56KB , 567x567 , 8.png )
40518

>>40509
Righto, I don't think I have any of those pockets, but I'll just stick these expensives in here as I find em.

>>40511
Oh so... Ok.
I'll collect all valuables and expensives.

>>40515
What's a government?
And who's this king guy? A doobie?
>>
No. 40525 ID: 43d730

>>40518
A government is a kind of wheeled vehicle with a hot-air balloon attached. It relies on fart power to travel.
I had assumed you'd know this, since doobies invented them.
>>
No. 40534 ID: 58f84b
File 125252744919.gif - (58.96KB , 567x567 , 9.gif )
40534

>>40525
Oh those! Yeah uh... I am the best Government driver in the world!
Man those things are awesome.

Ok, so now I gotta go find this king dude so I can get my Government, right? Now where would such a person be? [animation] Uh-oh.
>>
No. 40538 ID: 6164e0

>>40534
I think the government guy is outside somewhere. Don't bother using the door, it is clearly broken, otherwise why would it make noises at you?

Just jump out the window, your superior doobie body will keep you safe.
>>
No. 40539 ID: 43d730

>>40534
Shit, the door noticed you!
>>
No. 40540 ID: 58f84b
File 125252824347.png - (79.88KB , 567x567 , 10.png )
40540

>>40538
Yeah I guess that makes sense. Stupid door. No wonder the lesser creatures are so wretched. Living in these stuffy stone things instead of out in the fresh air.

I'll just get back on the balcony then.
>>
No. 40542 ID: 58f84b
File 125252837542.png - (51.46KB , 567x567 , 11.png )
40542

>>40540
Whoa that's high. Scary.
>>
No. 40543 ID: 6164e0

>>40542
Look, there is a green rope going down the wall! Slide down it in the way only a doobie can!
>>
No. 40545 ID: 58f84b
File 125252947110.gif - (46.96KB , 567x567 , 12.gif )
40545

>>40543

YYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~
>>
No. 40550 ID: ba61c1

>>40545
Fuck yeah that was intense! Punch whoever fell beside you and SCRAM
>>
No. 40552 ID: 6164e0

>>40550
but it could be the government guy!
>>
No. 40554 ID: 58f84b
File 125253044346.png - (74.21KB , 567x567 , 13.png )
40554

>>40552
>>40550

"WHEEERE'S MYYY GOVERNMEEENT?"
>*stifled groan*
>>
No. 40555 ID: ba61c1

>>40554
It seems he is refusing to talk! Throw your headwear on his face to show him you mean business!
>>
No. 40556 ID: 58f84b
File 125253106075.png - (76.83KB , 567x567 , 14.png )
40556

>>40555
He's opening his mouth a little.
Oh ok, I know where to put my eyepatch.
>>
No. 40557 ID: 2cbe3e

>>40554

Tell him to give you all his valuables and expensives.
>>
No. 40563 ID: f6209b

>>40557
And maybe some collectibles, commodities, and resources while he's at it!
>>
No. 40571 ID: 58f84b
File 125253177085.png - (81.73KB , 567x567 , 15.png )
40571

>>40557
>>40563
"GIMME ALL YOUR EXPENSIVES AN VALUABLES!"
>*nodnod*
"And all your collages an an commodes an residues too?"
>*puzzled look*

Oi what's this then? A bag? That's not a valuable!
>>
No. 40573 ID: 6164e0

>>40571
Look INSIDE the bag, SHINY STUFF might be there!
>>
No. 40578 ID: d49bf6

>>40571
It's trying to trick you.
Take everything except the bag, especial those things protruding from it's head. Those are like jewelery for the lesser beings.
>>
No. 40601 ID: 58f84b
File 125253369965.gif - (42.12KB , 567x567 , 16.gif )
40601

>>40578
>>40573
But what if it's just pretendin to trick me so that I won't take the bag?
Ha! I'm too smart for the miserable lesser creature. I'm keepin the bag!
>>
No. 40605 ID: 142d4d

Good job derp. Now punch that tower to show it whos boss.
>>
No. 40611 ID: 6164e0

>>40605
Yeah, punch the SHIT out of that tower. Show your displeasure that the government guy hasn't shown up to give you stuff!
>>
No. 40620 ID: 58f84b
File 125253493370.gif - (24.10KB , 567x567 , 17.gif )
40620

>>40605
>>40611
Okay.
>>
No. 40622 ID: f56d8f

What are those lines? I don't like the looks of them... keep punching! Harder!
>>
No. 40628 ID: 58f84b
File 12525356602.gif - (48.34KB , 567x567 , 18.gif )
40628

>>40622
"I WANT MY GOVERNMENT!"
>>
No. 40646 ID: f56d8f

Oh god! theres more lines! Run away!
>>
No. 40652 ID: 6164e0

>>40646
The tower looks like it is going to try to hurt you! But with your incredible doobie intellect, you know that if you get away from it, there is no way for it to harm you! Show your doobish genius!
>>
No. 40655 ID: 43d730

>>40628
Thrust your hand into the cracked area and push up.
Show it who's boss and create a path to leave at the same time.
Do a traditional doobie victory pose after.
>>
No. 40867 ID: 9891a9

>>40655
Listen to this one, he knows what she's talking about.
>>
No. 41895 ID: 58f84b
File 125267984576.gif - (101.37KB , 567x567 , 19.gif )
41895

>>40646
>>40652
Run awaaaaaaay!
>>
No. 41916 ID: 58f84b
File 12526812771.png - (91.39KB , 567x283 , 20.png )
41916

Hey, what is this lesser being?

>"Ey derphead, git. Yer scarin em customers."

Ooh is it a trader? I hear they change things into other things like magic.

What should I do, orb voices?
>>
No. 41927 ID: 43e1aa

Ask him to change your government into a bigger government!
>>
No. 41931 ID: 2cbe3e

>>41916

check if its a girl
>>
No. 42123 ID: 58f84b
File 125270448994.png - (94.35KB , 567x283 , 21.png )
42123

>>41931
I can't tell. How do you check?

>>41927
"I want a bigger government!"
>"Tha's crazy talk lad. Bigger governments are inefficient 'cept when it comes to keepin the man down."
"A BIGGER GOVERNMENT!"
>"Whatever rocks yer boat, pal. But I ain't a politico, go talk to someone in charge. Now if you ain't buin anythin, piss off. Yer scaring me customers an business be bad enuff already."
>>
No. 42144 ID: 6164e0

>>42123
Ask the inferior creature where to locate the correct people to talk to about getting a bigger government.
>>
No. 42145 ID: 15f6d6

tell it to come with you to make goverment bigger.
>>
No. 42146 ID: af8f27

>>42123
>How do you check?
You have to check if their insides are gooey.
>>
No. 42170 ID: 43d730

>>42146
In before...
Screw it.
WITH YOUR PENIS
>>
No. 42173 ID: b94893

If they are hiding water balloons under their shirt, they are female.
>>
No. 42210 ID: 4f4764

This poor creatures ears are broken, they're all sticking straight out. It must be so painful. You should correct it for him.
>>
No. 46432 ID: fb5d8e

Best quest or bestest quest? There is a wrong answer.
>>
No. 46673 ID: 18212a
File 125331623429.png - (102.72KB , 567x283 , 22.png )
46673

>>42145
"NO! BIGGER GOVERNMENT!"
>"But I-"
>>42144
"NO! YOU SHOW ME HOW TO MAKE GOVERNMENT BIGGER!"
>>42146
>>42170
>>42173
>>42210
"NOW! OR I MUSHY YOUR INSIDES WITH EARS AND POP YOUR BALLOONS WITH PENIS!"
>"All righ' all righ', chaysos croist. It's not like I've sold any o this crap recently."
"YEAH! You're now my bestest friend!"
>"Nonono, don't start with that."
"YAY! COME ON NEW FRIEND!"
Where to, orb friends!
>>
No. 46676 ID: bffa2a

>>46673

You must find GOVERNMENT to make it BIGGER. Ask friend where you could make your own BIGGER GOVERNMENT and sally forth.
>>
No. 46684 ID: 18212a
File 125331802694.png - (117.27KB , 425x850 , 23.png )
46684

>>46676
"We must find a government and make it BIG! AT LEAST THIS BIG!"
>"I... see. Well to find government you can try the cas'le methinks. Oh and me name is Murderhaunt Spidermaim, what's yours?"
"Dumy!"
[Murderhaunt joined party! You can now give him suggestions.]
>>
No. 46698 ID: ef7c1f

>>46684
Murder rape Dumy
>>
No. 46699 ID: f4963f

>>46684
MurderHaunt: Run for your fucking life as soon as Dumy's back is turned. Never look back.
>>
No. 46702 ID: bffa2a

>>46684

Go outside the city to look for CASTLE GOVERNMENT.
>>
No. 46704 ID: 1689ab

Murder hug Dumy


... actually... I'll bet you can use this poor misguided creature. manipulate him and use him to get your way. Best stay close to him... yes... he seems manipulatable enough...
>>
No. 46706 ID: 43d730

>>46698
>>46699
>murderhauntisanindirectpc.png
>>
No. 46716 ID: 18212a
File 125331944850.png - (37.25KB , 425x425 , 24.png )
46716

>Murder rape Dumy
>Murder hug Dumy
MH: I would but I'm allergic to stupid.

>>46704
MH: That's... Actually not a bad idea. Methinks we could pay a little visit to the city trade commission and maybe the tax collectors.
>>
No. 46720 ID: 4553b2

>>46716
Onward, good sir. Pay them a very violent visit with your villainous volunteer's vindictive assistance.
>>
No. 46730 ID: 18212a
File 125332013840.png - (38.20KB , 425x425 , 25.png )
46730

>>46720
MH: Verily.
>"Hey Dumy, you wanted to find a small gov'ment to make bigger, righ'? Cuz I know just the place, see. It's not far."
"Yaaay! You're the best best friend I ever had!"
>>
No. 46781 ID: 1689ab

Please tell us it isn't in your pants.
Dumy: hug new friend.
>>
No. 46788 ID: ef7c1f

>>46781
>Dumy: hug new friend.
WITH YOUR PENIS
>>
No. 46838 ID: 4553b2

>>46788
NO! No.

Just... just use your arms.
>>
No. 52428 ID: 18212a
File 125407926285.png - (165.91KB , 850x850 , 26.png )
52428

>"Ok, see that house there? There's a bad man in there who's mean to people. He'll be dressed in a glittery outfit. He has taken your government. Go and get it back."

What should I do orb peoples?
>>
No. 52431 ID: 4553b2

>>52428
CHARGE! TAKE DOWN THE DOOR, IT IS IN YOUR WAY
>>
No. 52434 ID: 9c236b

>>52428
Lick the guard's face to show friendship, then take his weapon.
>>
No. 52435 ID: f4963f

>>52434
Yes! We must show our affection to the guard. If he knows we are FRIENDS, he will not harm us.

But take his weapon too. Because Doobies are better, and deserve more WEPONS.
>>
No. 52495 ID: 18212a
File 125408340724.png - (159.60KB , 850x850 , 27.png )
52495

>>52434
>>52435
OKAY! I'LL GIVE HIM THE SUPER SECRET DOOBIE GREETING!

[ACQUIRED FUNNY STICK]
>>
No. 52534 ID: 1689ab

>>52495
Ask the man if he has your government.
>>
No. 52583 ID: 18212a
File 125408735630.gif - (101.27KB , 850x850 , 28.gif )
52583

>>52534
"Hey do you have my govern-"
[animated]
>>
No. 52596 ID: 1689ab

Hmm... poor lesser races... can't even stay awake long enough to answer a simple question. OK, let's head inside. Maybe someone in there knows.
>>
No. 52673 ID: f4963f

>>52583
Barge in, demanding your GOVERNMENT back!
>>
No. 53191 ID: 18212a
File 125417469640.png - (157.44KB , 850x850 , 29.png )
53191

"I WANT MY GOVERNMENT BACK!!"
>"Excuse me?"
"YOU HAVE MY GOVERNMENT BECAUSE MURDER SAID SO!"
>"... GuardS?"
>>
No. 53205 ID: f44349

LOOK AT AT THAT HEAVILY ARMORED DOOR
I BET THEY'RE HIDING YOUR GOVERNMENT IN THERE!
>>
No. 53206 ID: bffa2a

>>53191

No, Murder! I know you are mentally inferior but pay attention please. My government, where is it? I like it big.
>>
No. 53208 ID: f4963f

>>53191
You have taken my GOVERNMENT. I want you to give my GOVERNMENT back to me, you silly inferior creature!
>>
No. 53210 ID: 18212a
File 125417675541.png - (166.55KB , 850x850 , 30.png )
53210

"YOU HAVE MY GOVERNMENT BEHIND DAT DOOR! OPEN IT!"

>"GUARDS! GET IN HERE DAMN YOU!"

"NO! MURDER STUPID!"
>>
No. 53216 ID: bffa2a

Augh! Stupid yells too loud. Hurts ears. Too stupid to understand words, take it's tongue. It can grow back a new one in a day anyway.
>>
No. 53217 ID: f4963f

>>53210
Oh look at him, he's all agitated.

Give him a BIG DOOBIE HUG. Hopefully it will get through his thick non-doobian skull that you're not here for hostilities.
>>
No. 53218 ID: bffa2a

Wait is this another mating call? A boy human in heat perhaps. Mayby q-tip trick will work on it also. Take it's pants down and insert quill to subdue it's urges.
>>
No. 53233 ID: 18212a
File 125417848682.png - (181.30KB , 850x850 , 31.png )
53233

>"Yer guard's takin a little nap, boyo. So ya best be openin that door, eh?"

>"Y-yes. I'll open it for you. ... why are you looking at me like that? Stop looking at me like that."

"I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT!"
>>
No. 53238 ID: 18212a
File 12541789529.png - (155.62KB , 850x850 , 32.png )
53238

There! I even put the cloth on just like you said!
>>
No. 53239 ID: bffa2a

Where is government?!
>>
No. 53242 ID: f4963f

>>53238
Go through the door. For a government.
>>
No. 53251 ID: 18212a
File 125418075375.gif - (1.48MB , 850x850 , 33.gif )
53251

>"Ok, help me carry this stuff. This'll... get us the government."
"OKAY!"

[animated]

>"GIVE US BACK THE GOVERNMENT!"
>"POWER FOR THE PEOPLE!"

~~ CHAPTER ONE END ~~
>>
No. 56917 ID: 1f52f2

/r/ a bonus chart with the main characters' IQ levels
>>
No. 58975 ID: 18212a
File 125486991063.png - (102.73KB , 567x567 , stats1.png )
58975

>>56917
As you wish.
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