Fuck Year

Mudy: The Quickening

Reaver!mE1ODcDVTM 2009/07/07(Tue)14:54 No. 3182 ID: fb5d8e
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>BEGIN CHAPTER 9
>"WHEEL OF FORTUNE"

Reaver!mE1ODcDVTM 2009/07/07(Tue)14:55 No. 3185 ID: fb5d8e
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Mudy feels something pressing on his chest.
It's hard to breath.

>>3185
"Raital... not so hard. I'm soft and delicate."

>>3185

Say hello to the skullking.

>>3185
Whisper "You..."

OH SHI-

Pinch self, and hard.

Acquire morning wood.

Reaver!mE1ODcDVTM 2009/07/07(Tue)15:16 No. 3198 ID: fb5d8e
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>"Raital... not so hard. I'm soft and delicate."
, Mudy groans as he slowly opens his eyes.
A stream of blood squirts onto his face.

Scream in terror.

Reaver!mE1ODcDVTM 2009/07/07(Tue)15:18 No. 3201 ID: fb5d8e
File 124700509340.png - (43.13KB , 800x600 , 182.png )

Raital rushes out of the room.
>"I wasn't doing anything! Pervert! Pervert!"

Through the open door Axebeard walks in, shaking her head at Raital's display.
>"Ah, lad! Yer awake. Thas a fine sight. Ah brought ye some soup. Ah thought if ye would nay be awake yet ah'd eat it meself, but ah guess ah'm not that lucky. Ha!
>Tis good to have ye back, lad."

>>3198
Wipe blood off face. Greet Raital.

>>3198
Run around the room like a little girl-'bold.

>>3201

My last post was late, ignore it.

Greet axebeard. Ask how long we were out for and eat foods.

Ask Goldwomb how long you've been unconscious, and what you've missed.

Sit up, contemplating. You are a mastermind which means, of course, that now, yes, right now, is the time to bring up the obvious.

"The Skull King was... probably is... scrying this room. Possibly this whole fortress."

>>3201

Ask axebeard how she survived and how long we have been out.

Ask how many valiant troops you lost to that darn vagrant.

Reaver!mE1ODcDVTM 2009/07/07(Tue)15:36 No. 3212 ID: fb5d8e
File 124700619831.png - (45.59KB , 800x600 , 183.png )

Mudy gladly accepts the soup. It is spicey and incredibly strong of taste. He immediatly feels his strength returning.
He asks Axebeard how long he has been out and what happened to the troops.

>"Three days, me lad. Three whole worrisome days. Yer generals 'n ta girl were all 'round yer bed actin' like wimps.
>Most of yer lads weren't so lucky.. Most of 'em're shredded ta pieces. Ah managed ta find two with jus' minor injuries like meself 'n ah nursed 'em back ta health. Every mornin' we go out ta look fer more survivors among ta hundreds o' bodies, but tis a lost cause.. Aye, ah'm not even gunna bother buryin' 'em all. Ah was hopin' ye'd 'ave a better plan."

Mudy nibbles on his spoon, contemplating.
>"The Skull King was... probably is... scrying this room. Possibly this whole fortress."

Axebeard furrows her brow.
>"What're ye sayin', lad? What made ye say that? What should we do?"

>>3212
Set your face in a grim look.

"It took the enemy no time at all to know Raital was behaving differently. They must be watching."

Pause. Look up at the posters.

"I'd rather not speak a plan aloud while I'm in here."

"But it's possible there wasn't direct scrying, especially with Calavera around. We need to have a meeting ASAP."

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)15:56 No. 3219 ID: fb5d8e
File 124700738355.png - (46.77KB , 800x600 , 184.png )

Axebeards nods and moves to the door.
>"Ah got ye, lad. Ah'll gather ev'ryone to ta meetin' room.
>But finish yer soup! Tis' an old clan recipe, 'n there was nay better healin' clan around than ye Goldwombs."
She leaves the room, her loud thumping boots echoing through the hallway.

Well, you heard the lady. Eat your soup. Then get up, get dressed, find your hat, and get to the meeting room.

If you've been in a coma for three days you probably reek, but it's probably masked by the hundreds of rotting corpses, so no worries for now. We'll have time for a tiresome and predictable hot springs episode later.

Finish the soup, I guess. We're going to need to talk to Raital, though.

>>3219

Yes, eat the soup and put some clothes on dammit. There are ladies present. While we are here rummage trough stuff mayby we will find the scrying device. Or a shit load of bloody hankerchiefs.

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)16:09 No. 3227 ID: fb5d8e
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Mudy finishes the soup and gets up.
He doesn't see his clothes anywhere!

>>3227
STRIDE CONFIDENTLY AND NAKEDLY INTO THE CONFERENCE ROOM.

TRY TO STAY AFLOAT IN THE TORRENTS OF NOSE BLOOD.

>>3227
STRIDE CONFIDENTLY AND NAKEDLY INTO THE CONFERENCE ROOM.

TRY TO STAY AFLOAT IN THE TORRENTS OF NOSE BLOOD.

>>3228
Eh. Why not, go commando.
What, are they going to question you? You're the motherfucking Mudy!

>>3227

Use BEDSHEETS to fashion a MAKESHIFT TOGA. There is a mystery afoot and it will do no good to be naked!

>>3227

Drape sheets around body, check the trunk/nightstand. Call for somebody to bring clothes.

Bestride the world as an intellectual colossus far advanced beyond the need for clothes.

THE SKULLKING WATCHES

YOUR NAKED BODY.

THIS IS TERRIBLE!

Wrap your bedsheet around yourself. Look in the drawers for your clothes.

make a robe out of the pillowcase.

>>3227
HAHAHA OH WOW

I wonder what Raital was really doing...

>>3227

Use BEDSHEETS to fashion a MAKESHIFT TOGA. There is a mystery afoot and it will do no good to be naked!

Finish the soup, I guess. We're going to need to talk to Raital, though.

Use the bedsheets as a toga but accidentally make the knot too loose.

Use torn fabric to make FLIMSY LOINCLOTH. Just a little bit will be fine. Keep it skimpy.
Look for any obvious signs of eavesdropping, then confront Raital, ask what she was doing.

Mudy is so tiny. We're approaching this wrong.

Don't use the bedsheet for a toga. It's much too large. Cut three holes in your pillowcase and use it for a nightgown.

Well, the Skullking is undoubtedly even less happy with his daughter now.

>>3241
>>3240
It's Raital's stuff, destroying it would be unkind.

>>3243
Our entire army has been slaughtered. I don't think anyone should care about a pillowcase.

Scratch that, go naked. TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE WE CAN'T WASTE IT DILLY-DALLYING ABOUT WITH PILLOWCASES AND SHEETS

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)16:25 No. 3247 ID: fb5d8e
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Mudy wraps his blanket around him like a makeshift toga. It's quite unwieldy, but it'll have to do.
He opens the chest of drawers next to the bed.
It's filled with Raital's clothing and underwear, along with a couple of trinkets and accessories.

Take Raital's underwear, wear on head.

>>3247
Put panties on head.

Wear Raital's underwear.

>>3247
Wear her outer clothing but not her underwear, I'm sure she won't mind and it works better than the stupid sheetoga.

Try to maintain manly confidence in your new poofy pants.

>>3247

Check the trinkets. Mayby Raital is carrying a scrying device without knowing it. Try not to get caught with your mittens in her panties.

>>3247
Ignore the drawers; on to the meeting room.
Well maybe a quick look around...

See if Ivar and Rune are outside, if they are ask for some clothing.

Wear skull mask for underwear. There's gotta be some laying around all over the place.

Alternate: Use pillowcase like you're in a potato sack race.

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)16:35 No. 3260 ID: c01408
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Put those strange pink garments on your head. NOW!
It'll make for a fine hat in the interim. We can't go wandering around with ouer head bare!

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)16:36 No. 3261 ID: fb5d8e
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Mudy decides that the toga is too dangerous and instead chooses to put on Raital's underwear as clothing. It's too big - especially in the back - but should be fine.

The trinkets are all simple jewelry and skull icons. Mundane and uninteresting... except for one.

>>3247
>Raital's underwear.

Way to force our hand into suicide.

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)16:37 No. 3263 ID: fb5d8e
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A little ceramic skull seems to be looking right back at Mudy.

>>3261
Dance like nobody's watching.

>>3263
Put skull away, get clothing, go meet people.

Stop wasting time looking at little object d'art

" 'sup skull"

Do a little butt-dance. No-one's watching...

>>3261

Ahahahaha, holy shit.

>>3263

I think you found the scrying device buddy, time to find your clothes and tell the gang.

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)16:51 No. 3269 ID: fb5d8e
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Delighted voices welcome Mudy back and state how glad they are to see him as he walks into the meeting room and climbs onto his seat, but all celebrations end when he slaps the skull onto the table.
He informs everyone that this is the dreaded scrying device responsible.

The ceramic skull's jaws clatter.
>"No, I am not."

>>3269
Ask Raital about the skull since she certainly knows we were going through her stuff at this point.

>>3269

"... what? Raital what is the meaning of th- uh, do you need me clean that up?"

>>3269
ask it who is, then?

lol at Totenkopf's makeup.

>>3269
"!!!... Well then who or what are you, Mr...?

>>3269
Well, our little council looks right impressive,

...aside from the bloody little girl. And the smeared make-up.

"Alright, Mr, Skullhead - who are you then?"

>>3277
And the cross-dressing.


Okay. Set the skull on the table and cross your arms.

"Was that a joke?"

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)17:06 No. 3282 ID: fb5d8e
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Rudy turns to Raital and asks her what the meaning of it is.
Raital raises herself from her slumped position slightly.
>"It's a talking skull. It was a gift from my big brother the last time I saw him. He said it was to replace our little brother."

The skull continues to clatter,
>"No, I am not. I am not here. This is an illusion. You are crazy. I am not here."

>>3282
Suggest that if she wants to keep the damned thing, we keep it somewhere far away from anyone. In a secluded basement somewhere or something.

>>"No, I am not."
Well, damn. So much for that. It occurs to me that we haven't asked Raital anything about this.

..well...ok then..

"What happened to your little brother?"

>>3282
"You strike me as too dumb to be a scrying device of the Skull King, so I'll give you a chance to explain yourself before I let the gang work out some frustration by smashing you to powder."

it says it's not here, so it's quite possible that it's full of shit. We should ask Raital if she has any insight into the whole scrying thing.

Fix our strap. We're not a cheap whore.

>>3292

And flick your ears in a seductive way.

How's Totenkopf's arm doing, anyway?

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)17:20 No. 3300 ID: fb5d8e
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"You strike me as too dumb to be a scrying device of the Skull King, so I'll give you a chance to explain yourself before I let the gang work out some frustration by smashing you to powder."
, Mudy threatens.
The skull clatters a protest, but is interrupted by Raital who snatches him from the table. She quietly looks it over.

Everyone seems a little taken aback by this action.

Mudy fixes his strap. He realizes this isn't just any kind of gift.
>"What happened to your little brother?"

>"The Skullking killed him because he was too weak."
, Raital responds dryly.

Clamber up onto the table and hug Raital.

>>3300
Walk over to her and hug her gently. Tell her she can keep the skull but it needs to be someplace where everyone knows to avoid it.

Make a ":<" face.

"... Oh."

Give her a quiet moment. Let her have some time to explain further, if she's up for it.

>>3300
Respond, "I see..."
Change the subject, and ask about the condition of our other allies. Like how is Toty doing missing an arm, and if this is all that's left of our forces.

No time for hugs, apologize instead!

>>3300

"And now he's trying to kill you while he seems completely unconcerned with us. Could you tell why is that?"

>>3308

Because he's an evil overlord, duh.

>>3300
Apologize and wait to see if she wishes to talk about it further.
If not...

"Well then!
It seems we still have a problem.
The Skullking is scrying on us, and we need to find out how and stop it. ASAP!"

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)17:38 No. 3312 ID: fb5d8e
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Mudy quickly apologizes.
He pauses to let Raital continue, but she does not seem to make any effort to discuss it any further. Axebeard pats her on the head to comfort her.

Mudy turns to his generals to ask them how Totenkopf is coping with the loss of his arm and how the troops are doing.

>"The loss of an arm is nothing compared to dying, Prince. I feel more than lucky."
He grabs Darkmoon's hand.
>"Vhe are thankful to you, Prince.. And vhe are more tan ready to be killink te Skullking any moment!"

>"There're only two men left. They're standing outside to keep watch. Gunther and Hans are their names, I think."

>>3312
Do Gunther and Hans... like apples?

Well we wont be taking any villages by sheer force thats for sure

"Say Tote..you wouldnt happen to know where Calavera stashed all his cool lich stuff do you?"

Take off panties to distract Raital from her little brother.

>>3314
Wait a minute, yeah!
We won that bet with Calavera.

Except he's dead dead now.
Shit.

>>3312
Come up with a plan to get a suitable prosthetic!
We need our generals in top condition in the mean time before we gather another army.

>>"Vhe are thankful to you, Prince.. And vhe are more tan ready to be killink te Skullking any moment!"

"Given what just happened, I don't think we're nearly ready to try anything like that. No, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I don't think this fortress serves any further purpose. Our army's dead, the Skull King knows we're here, and there's nothing stopping him from hiring more bounty hunters to kill us. Frankly, I'm not sure why the Samurai hasn't returned to finish the job already."

Lean back in your chair. "Totenkopf. I was told you can level cities. Do you think you could level a fortress? Calavera said there were hidden artifacts. I think we should tear the place apart, literally, to find them."

oh yeah

"Also we cant stay in a fortress that gets visited by army slaying bounty hunters once a week, i'm open to suggestions on where we should go next"

Find Calavera's vibrating necromancy panties and wear them.

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)17:50 No. 3322 ID: fb5d8e
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>"Given what just happened, I don't think we're nearly ready to try anything like that. No, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I don't think this fortress serves any further purpose. Our army's dead, the Skull King knows we're here, and there's nothing stopping him from hiring more bounty hunters to kill us. >Frankly, I'm not sure why the Samurai hasn't returned to finish the job already."
Mudy sighs and leans back in his chair. He takes a moment to contemplate and the room's mood turns darker.
>"Totenkopf. I was told you can level cities. Do you think you could level a fortress? Calavera said there were hidden artifacts. I think we should tear the place apart, literally, to find them."

Totenkopf raises his eyebrows,
>"Well.. I could.. but they're all stashed in the giant skull above his throne."
>"I am always gettink head ache there because is beink so much magic to detect."
, Darkmoon adds.

>>3322
well...shit. we could've found that before betting our soul.

>>3322
Uh, of course. Yes. That's what I meant. What say we take those now, and then leave the fortress? Maybe destroy it as we go?

>>3324
Faith in the generals, what of it?

>>3322
Strike face sharply with open palm, tell someone to get a stick for the giant pinata.

>>3322
Hmmmm... Calavera is kind of a dickish one, it may be trapped. We should have everyone stand at a safe distance and blast the skull stash open from afar.

>>3322

Ask for them to go fetch the stuff for perusal while asking Raital one very important question. "Would many of your siblings like to kill the Skull King?"

>>3322
Sound more cheerful.

"Oh! Well, then what are we waiting for? Let's have a look."

Bust open that big ol' skull and find the artifacts.

Can we stop betting our soul every time someone asks?

I'm not saying NEVER bet it. But let's at least make sure the payoff is worth it next time, and the contest controllable, yes?

Take the skull down and then bend over to look over the artifacts.

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)18:08 No. 3339 ID: fb5d8e
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Mudy tells his generals to get ready to break open the skull. Axebeard quickly volunteers to get some tools and do the dirty work.
But before going with them Mudy focuses on Raital, who is holding onto the ceramic skull tightly. Its tiny glowing eyes still stare straight at Mudy.

>"Would many of your siblings like to kill the Skull King?"
, Mudy asks.

>"Well, not so long ago we all would.. We're all his heirs ofcourse. My older brother and sisters would also try to kill eachother to get one step closer to the throne, but our elders are always much stronger than us.."
, Raital responds in the same dry tone. She seems distracted.
>"Our big brother was by far the most powerful and we all thought he'd kill the Skullking one day.. untill the Skullking named another heir. We don't know who he is, he's not even family, but he's stronger than anyone in the empire. Some even say he's a demigod.. I guess he's so loyal the Skullking feels safer with him as the first heir."

>>3339
"Did you care for your little brother?"

Yeaaah those family ties dont seem strong enough to start enlisting people..

>>3340
No, like this:
"You cared for your little brother, didn't you?"

That's a pretty stupid question in light of recent events.

Say, "So... That skull reminds you of him?"

After she responds, widen your eyes, then say. "Oh. Oh no. Hold on a moment!" and run after the others saying "Careful! It might be trapped! Use a spell or something!"

>>3342
No, like this, "Did you fuck your little brother until he died?"

>>3344
Given that earlier she said she never cared for anyone before, it's not *too* stupid.

>>3341

Actually, by giving the skull to Raital big brother has shown good kind of feelings and should be considered in the future. Making a note.

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)18:24 No. 3350 ID: fb5d8e
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>"You cared for your little brother, didn't you?"
Mudy is reminded of the little chat they had before the bounty hunter arrived.

>"Yeah.. I guess I did."

>"So... That skull reminds you of him?"

>"No, not.. not really.."
Raital looks down and closes her eyes.
>"But my big brother said I could let it be a replacement and I should always keep it close. He said it'd watch over me."

>>3350
More like watch you to make sure you never turned on the skullking.

>"I am always gettink head ache there because is beink so much magic to detect."

Would Darkmoon have the ability to test the thing and see if it's a scrying source?

>>3352
Well, we don't want to bring that up now.
Ask about her younger brother.

>>3350

"And you are sure it's not just spying on you?... I trust your judgement, if you say it's not a threat then it's not. For what's it's worth I'm sorry for your loss. Let's go see how the others are doing."

>>3353
D'oh - I didn't mean ask Raital that, I was just putting it out there.

>>3350
>>"But my big brother said I could let it be a replacement."

Become disturbed as you realize just what an unbelievably horrible family Raital is from. Gently pull the skull out of her hands, turn it away, and give her a hug.

Also, quietly tell yourself that your underlings are competent enough to realize there's a danger of traps, and not go running off after them as though they were infants.

>>3356

Better

So, it "Watches over her" so that the skull king can know if she needs to go the way of her brother. How do we break this to her?

When the topic of conversation changes, this might be a decent time to inquire as to the whereabouts of our clothing.

>>3362
We wouldn't want to embarrass Raital if she has them!

well there's a few options.

1) try blocking the scrying

2) use it to spread misinformation

3) Confess to the skullking that you are in fact wearing his daughter's panties.

4) Show raital a good time with skull on nightstand.

5) leaving it in a safe place.

>>3350
"I fear it's a poor replacement. It does seem to be scrying on us. Being watched over is not always ideal."

>>3354
This approach seems good.

Reaver!mE1ODcDVTM 2009/07/07(Tue)18:44 No. 3369 ID: fb5d8e
File 12470174671.gif - (50.45KB , 800x600 , 196.gif )

Mudy can't deny that Raital's family is horrible. He climbs onto the chair next to her and hugs her as he gently pulls the skull out of her hands.
Raital let's go with a sigh, then turns quiet.

A voice from the hallway exclaims,
>"The tools are ready, prince! We can break it open any moment!"

>>3363
Why not? We want our armor back, puny and leather though it may be.

>>3369
Gently lick her nose clean of blood spillage.

>>3369
Apparently nasal hemophilia runs in her family as well.

>>3369
Nuzzle her cheek, leave skull on the table, and go to supervise the excavation.

>>3372
Don't do that. That's getting a BIT too personal.
Just hold the hug for a moment, pull away softly and help her clean up with a rag or something.
Then take her by the hand and go join your generals.

I notice vampirism wouldn't be that much of a setback for mudy.

>>3369

We're going to kill the poor girl at this rate.

Let's go see what we find, we need to leave this place soon.

Share a moment longer with Raital. Then sigh, and say "I don't suppose you know much defensive magic? Maybe something we can hide behind in case this container starts shooting fire at us?"

Smile charmingly, and add "If it's not much trouble."

Proceed to the office, and ask "I'm concerned this thing is trapped. How do we guard against that? Can we open it from a safe distance? Perhaps a very, very safe distance?"

Reaver!mE1ODcDVTM 2009/07/07(Tue)19:10 No. 3392 ID: fb5d8e
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Mudy smiles disarmingly. He takes Raital's hand and takes her to the throneroom.
The rest of his crew is already there, looking at the giant skull in thought.

>"I'm concerned this thing is trapped. How do we guard against that? Can we open it from a safe distance? Perhaps a very, very safe distance?"
, Mudy asks.

>"Vhell, tere are beink much offensive magic in te skull, but I cannot see if is beink artifacts or traps."

>"Calavera always just put his hand into one of the eyeholes when he needed something. He never seemed to bother taking down any sort of security."

>"Ah'm willing ta just use me 'ammer 'n break it ta pieces, lad. Tha should take care o' anythin'.

>>3392
Ok, Axebeard, you break that. We need to help Raital stop bleeding by gently grabbing her butt.

No reason to smash it, just chip the upper half off.

>>3392
All the same, get a safe distance away and sit with Raital.
Make sure that the treasure gets divided equally, with the most useful items going to those that can use them the best.

Take one of the candles off its skull holder, then blow it out.

"Animal fat or beeswax. Let's try this out."

Toss the extinguished candle into an eye hole.

>>3397
This seems like a good way to test it.

Reaver!mE1ODcDVTM 2009/07/07(Tue)19:30 No. 3404 ID: fb5d8e
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Mudy points to one of the candles.

>"Animal fat or beeswax. Let's try this out."

>"Very vhell."
Darkmoon breaks the candle from the skull, blows it out and tosses it through an eyehole.
As soon as it enters there is a flash and the candle lights up again, revealing a single massive sword.

>>3404
So...
It sets things on fire?
It sends things back in time?
It has a nasty little imp on the inside with a lighter?
Either way, it's not safe for hands.

>>3404
Hug Raital in triumph, and use this opportunity to rub your nose against hers just slightly.

>>3404
"Can you dispell that?"

If the answer is no: "Well, can you 'dispell' it with doom spells? Or maybe just the hammer. I think Calavera was more worried about people sneaking in and making off with his stuff, than charging in and smashing it with a hammer."

Look around at the others.

"Stop me if I'm wrong. You knew this guy better than me, and you know more about magic than I do."

>>3404
Ask Darkmoon and Totenkopf if either of them are able to dispell an enchantment.

>>3404

"Can you disarm whatever that was?"

>>3407

No, we need her concious for now.

Reaver!mE1ODcDVTM 2009/07/07(Tue)19:44 No. 3417 ID: fb5d8e
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>"Disarm?"
, Darkmoon repeats,
>"Prince, vhe are death incarnate. Vhe destroy tings, not be tinkerink vhith traps."

>"And.. I have to wonder."
, Totenkopf continues,
>"What are you going to do with such a huge sword anyway?"

>>3407
>triumph
We didn't actually accomplish anything.

>>3417
Your mother,darkmoon.

>>3417
"Trust me, and I think Raital may know this too, I am more than used to dealing with oversized equipment."

Tap nose for emphasis.

>>3417
To Totenkopf: "*I'm* not going to do anything with it, but *you* are."

>>3417
"There's likely more than just the one sword in there. But regardless, the blade is very powerful.

>>3417
"I bet Raital could swing it. She's pretty strong. Or we could sell it in Moonshine."

Put your hands on your hips.

"Death incarnate? Very well. I order you to smash the skull open while not destroying everything inside it, and without getting killed by whatever other tricks it has."

>>3417

Kill a certain bounty hunter who has it coming?

Ask Raital if she can use that thing. Otherwise we're done here and should level the place.

>>3417
Well, hopefully it's THAT magical...

All our people are magic users.

>>3428
Not Axebeard

>>3437

And then Axebeard was a man?

Reaver!mE1ODcDVTM 2009/07/07(Tue)20:01 No. 3439 ID: fb5d8e
File 124702211186.png - (65.87KB , 800x600 , 200.png )

"I bet Raital could swing it. She's pretty strong. Or we could sell it in Moonshine."
, Mudy answers. There is no response from Raital.
He contintues,
"Death incarnate? Very well. I order you to smash the skull open while not destroying everything inside it, and without getting killed by whatever other trick--"
*KRRZAP*

The skull disintegrates almost entirely. Axebeard catches the sword safely with her massive hands.
>"Well ah'll be.. Ye legendary DARKBEING, eclipse o' all life!"

>>3437
>Axebeard catches the sword safely with his massive hands.
Clearly he meant she was catching it with Mudy's massive hands.
That's why it says "his".

>>3435
That blade is taller than her. Also, not called Swordbeard.

>>3439
"You know what this sword is, Axebeard?"

Make a funny face.

Say "........ Or Axebeard can use it. That's fine too. I just assumed she didn't like swords."

>>3439
"Hey, Raital, that nosebleed looks sorta bad. Do you want me to help wash it for you? I mean, we can bathe together if it helps."

Interrupt yourself with "R-r-raital? Are you okay?!"

>>3439
I think Mudy needs to change out of the panties before Raital dies of blood loss.

Raital's not looking so good there.

>>3452
Yeah we gotta get out of them asap, don't waste any time, Mudy, take them off right now!

>>3447

Bad. Bad. No killing Raital. We really need to change our clothes at some point.

I think if we just let go of her hand she'll fare much better. Remember, we're kobolds (or half kobolds anyway) - hand holding is practically being engaged.

Take off panties, right fucking now. It's nothing your aides haven't seen, assuming they've been caring for you for the three days you were out. And besides, wearing them is obviously having a detrimental effect on Raital.

>>3457
This. Take them off, then pull Raital close to show her. "See? See? I took your panties off! They are gone! I'm not wearing anything anymore! Stop bleeding!"

Thrust our groin in the general direction of her face while saying this, so that she gets the message more clearly.

Take RAITAL away from the ECLIPSE O ALL LIFE

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)20:19 No. 3468 ID: bde1b8
File 124702314354.png - (31.69KB , 500x500 , no.png )

>>3457
>>3460
>>3461
NO.

>>3464
probably a good idea...

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)20:21 No. 3470 ID: fb5d8e
File 124702331353.png - (54.62KB , 800x600 , 201.png )

>"........ Or Axebeard can use it. That's fine too. You know what this sword is, Axebeard?"
, Mudy says in response.

>"Ah was nay trained inna swords, but we had ta study 'em.. This be a legendary one, lad. We may 'ave just opened a pandora's box 'ere."

Raital pulls her hand away from Mudy's. He finally realizes how bad her bleeding is.
>"Raital? Are you okay?"
She runs out of the room without a word.

Darkmoon strides out of the room as well, pulling Totenkopf with her. She seems rather agitated.
>"Come on, Totenkopf. Vhe shall pack our tings and get Gunter and Hans ready to be leavink."

A menacing cold aura emits from Darkbeing.

Run after Raital.

Say "Raital! Why are you bleeding? Tell me what's happening!"

Apparently its a sword that agitates evil.

Was the increase in bloodflow intended to be sudden?

>>3470
Uh oh, we pissed the elf off. Was it the "Death Incarnate" comment?

>>3470
Get everyone, but especially Raital away from the sword.
Find out the problem.

Raital's a tough girl, she'll be fine. We don't need to be so damned clingy.

Ask Axebeard more about the sword.

>>3470
Ask Axebeard to explain everything she knows about the sword.

>>3470

Ask for a quick history lesson of the sword.

Well go see Raital after a bit so she can calm down meanwhile.

396 hp, my ass.

>>3480

Weakness: Mudy

>>3480
It's all going out her nose.

>>3487
>Critical Weakness: Mudy

>>3476
>Raital's a tough girl, she'll be fine.
Physically tough. Emotionally, not.

Maybe if he wasnt wearing her vorpal panties.

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)20:41 No. 3501 ID: fb5d8e
File 124702447566.png - (41.77KB , 800x600 , 202.png )

Mudy decides that learning about this possibly dangerous sword is more important than running after Raital right now.
He asks Axebeard to tell him everything she knows.

>"Well, lad. There be this legend o' a great hero out a kill a demonlord."
, she begins, as she holds the sword above Mudy to show him the designs.
>"But nay a sword in ye mortal world was strong enough ta penetrate ta demonlord's armor. But this hero was dedicated, ye see, so 'e went ta talk to another demon ta forge him a sword with the fires o' hell.
>Now demons are a fickle bunch, 'n ta demon agreed ta forge the sword. When it was done, ta hero went out ta slay ta demonlord.. with success. He sliced right through 'is armor.
>But when ta sword met ta demonlord's flesh, 'e knew twas made with hellfire - that 'e was betrayed.
>So with 'is last breath he cursed the blade to make it so it could only be used fer betrayal. Ta hero went home and killed all o' his family, 'is friends, 'is lords 'n army.. then died in loneliness."

She pauses to take a breather, and raises the sword higher.

>"Ta think ta damn lich would 'ave this.."

Ya know what. Ask where our cloths are. Put them on. HURP. DUUUURP.

OH DEAR GOD RUN

>>3501
Leave the piece of crap here.

>>3501
Hey, uh, Axebeard, maybe you shouldn't be using a sword that is destined for betrayal. Maybe you should just put that down.

Have your eyes get really big.

"Maybe you should put it down."

>>3501
"Why did you pick it up?!"
Run to the doorway.

Well this could get ugly real quick.

Get rid of the sword. Or give it to Raital so she can betray her father.

Although now that we're her allies, she might betray us.

"The sword might have some use later, but right now it is simply a danger to us all."

>>3514
"You should probably put it down, Axe', just... you know... incase?"

>>3501

Well, this was a bust. We can't use that. Is it even safe to take with us. Calavera probably was that hero. We might have to drag it along for future heroic sacrifice and bad end.

Go see Raital now.

If'n Raital ever has a meeting with her daddy coming up, give her the sword. Otherwise, nobody wield that shit. Let's go see what's up with Raital atm, then finally get around to finding our clothes.

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)21:00 No. 3527 ID: fb5d8e
File 124702562029.png - (52.04KB , 800x600 , 203.png )

Mudy stammers,
>"You should probably put it down, Axe', just... you know... incase?"

>"Why-y, LAD? This metalwork is SO BEAUTIFUL! DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE
>HOW SHARP IT-T IS?!"

Mudy gets the fuck out.

It is only to ever be wielded when Raital confronts her father.
Or when Mudy meets the skullking, assuming we have some sort of past with him/her that we didn't know about, as evidenced by some strange coincidences, odd parallels, and complete amnesia.

>>3527
HALP
SOMETHING NONLETHAL PLEAAAAAAASE

I hope Boldian Quickness and DWARVISH LEG-STUBBYNESS will aid us?

>>3527
OH SHI-

Get Darkmoon and get her to either cast paralysis on Axebeard or see if they can disarm her without touching the sword.

AUGH FUCK

PRAY SHE WAS JUST DOING HER BEST "FEY MOOD" IMPRESSION AND IS NOT ACTUALLY BEING OVERWHELMED BY THE DESIRE TO BETRAY MUDY

I mean, it can only be used for betrayal, right? That's the curse.
She never said it FORCES people to commit betrayal.

Yell "HELP! THE SWORD'S EVIL! AXEBEARD'S GONE CRAZY! HELP!"

Continue running away.

>>3527

Shitsticks, go get Raital and gang to sudue Goldwomb. That sword is going in lava.

>>3533
Yeah, nothing about forcing except that the hero killed EVERYONE HE KNEW.

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)21:05 No. 3538 ID: fb5d8e
File 124702595681.png - (48.32KB , 800x600 , 204.png )

Mudy's legs carry him away quickly, much much faster than Axebeard's stumpy dwarven walkers.
He safely makes it to Raital's room.
She currenlty has her face pressed in a pillow and is breathing heavily.

CALAVERA YOU TREMENDOUS UNDEAD FAGGOT WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE SOMETHING LIKE THAT LYING AROUND ANYWAAAAAAAAAAAAY

>>3538
What's that on our camisole? Hello Zalgo?

>>3538
Why did we burst in like that?
Avert your eyes, and cough loudly.

>>3538
Try to get Raital's attention. Tell her t-...

Hey, the skull on your shirt almost looks like Rudy from this angle. Awesome.

Uh... continue with whatever you were doing.

>>3540
AND TO THINK WE BET OUR SOUL ON IT. THAT...DOUBLE LICH

Dive under her bed before she notices you.

Scream if Goldwomb enters.

>>3538
"HEY RAITAL, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU KNOW, LIKE, A SLEEP SPELL OR SOMETHING?!"

>>3538

Oh GOD! We don't have time for this now. Go pick her up and tell her Goldwombs under the spell of the sword.

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)21:17 No. 3555 ID: fb5d8e
File 124702663613.png - (44.85KB , 800x600 , 205.png )

Mudy jumps onto the bed next to Raital.
He tells her that Goldwomb has been put under a curse and is out to betray and kill everyone!

Raital looks up rather angry.
>"S-so what! I-I don't care! It's not like I like you or anything!"

>>3555
ask for help, offer cuddling services in return

>>3555
...We're not playing this game.

Hop down, run off to find TOT and DARKMOON.

>>3555
FAPFAPFA-Ahem
Right then, can you tell me where my clothes went?

>>3555
Oh lawd - so its come to this...

>>3555
I CAN'T LOVE YOU IF I'M DEAD!!

>>3555

"This is no time for that denial crap, Raital! You already admitted three days ago that you were attracted to me!"

NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THESE GAMES
Raital! FOCUS!
We need HELP! Otherwise we could all die!

>>3555
But I love you, Raital! Please help me!

>>3555
What??? But you already said that you liked m- NOW'S NOT THE TIME! ANGRY DWARF! BIG SWORD! GONE BERSERK! PLEASE HELP!

>>3555

Holy shit bitch have you got issues!

This has gone too far without taking the step we have wanted to take a long time. Take hold of her and kiss her.

>>3555
Jesus fuck. Time to be assertive.

"Emotional issues aside, you need to subdue Goldwomb now."

>>3566
Do it. she'll get superpowers.

>>3566
THIS

Yeah, just fucking kiss her.
We don't have time for her tsundere bullshit, even if it is adorable and endearing.

>>3555
Er. guys. She obviously needs time alone for now after we've dealt with the dwarven menace we can have darkmoon teach her the intricacies of showing her tits off and getting the attention she wants, right now we need to barge in on your generals and make it apparent that they are required urgently.

>>3567
That's not a good idea considering how easily "subdue" can be mistaken for "murder".

>>3581
Or this, you do only get those superpowers once.

IF YOU STOP GOLDWOMB WITHOUT KILLING HER I'LL HAVE SEX WITH YOU.


AS SOON AS I FIGURE OUT HOW

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)21:38 No. 3590 ID: fb5d8e
File 124702788112.gif - (758.23KB , 780x580 , 206.gif )

>animooted

>"This is no time for that denial crap, Raital! You already admitted three days ago that you were attracted to me!"
Mudy exclaims.
Suddenly Raital grabs him by his face.
>"Then why won't you love me back?! Why do you continue to play with my heart?
>Three days ago.. You ruined my world again!
>Your motion.. Your voice.. Your body.. You..!
>You're destroying me!
>LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MEEEEE!"

*CRASH*
Splinters fly through the room as metal meets wood!

Grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her.

"Right now, whether you like me or not isn't important! Axebeard has gone berserk! We need your help! I know you can be focused! I've seen you. You marched straight through an army like you owned it. You can be brave and unstoppable and calm and collected in the face of danger."

Hold her shoulders and look her in the eye, with your own eyes narrowed. "And I know... deep down, I know... you can be a hero. So don't do this for me. Don't do anything for me. Save the day because it's the right thing to do. And because you're a hero."

>>3590

FOR GODS SAKE KISS HER ALREADY, WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION. HOT POWERFUL CRAZY PSYCHO BITCH LOVES US, KISS.

>>3590
"I'm sorry, Raital." KISS.

>>3590

"You're going to look a lot worse in a second if we don't do something to stop Axebeard! We need you, Raital!"

"...*I* need you."

>>3592
>"whether you like me or not isn't important!"

Again, telling a murder machine that her emotions aren't important is a great way to stir up a shitstorm.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Axebeard!

>>3597

Addendum: Kiss her.

>>3596
>>3597

Some sort of combination of this would be good right now.

It just occurred to me, maybe she's having her period? That could explain all the blood and the moodiness.

>>3590
unsure if terrified or turned on, or both.

Herp a derp derp.

Wait why dont we just say "because there's something i need to resolve first"

EDIT:


Grab her head like she's grabbing yours.

"Raital! Listen to yourself. You say love when you mean lust. I'm attracted to you. Of course I am. I could hardly speak the minute I laid eyes on you... But love... Love is something that needs time to bloom. And time... Time, Raital! There's a berserk dwarf with a magic sword crashing into the room! You're so wrapped up in your feelings that you can't see that we're about to be killed! We need your help. I know you can focus, the way we need you to focus right now! I've seen you. You marched straight through an army like you owned it. You were calm as they poured arrows into you. You can be brave and calm. You can be unstoppable face of danger."

Hold her shoulders, now, and look her in the eye, with your own eyes narrowed. "And I know... deep down, I know... you can be a hero. So don't just do this for me. Don't do anything for me. I haven't destroyed you, Raital. A pretty face and clothes can't destroy you. Save the day because it's the right thing to do. And because you're a hero."


If you manage to get all that out, I'm sure Axebeard is looming directly behind you by now.

Brace for incoming animootion.

EDIT:


Grab her head like she's grabbing yours.

"Raital! Listen to yourself. You say love when you mean lust. I'm attracted to you. Of course I am. I could hardly speak the minute I laid eyes on you... But love... Love is something that needs time to bloom. And time... Time, Raital! There's a berserk dwarf with a magic sword crashing into the room! You're so wrapped up in your feelings that you can't see that we're about to be killed! We need your help. I know you can focus, the way we need you to focus right now! I've seen you. You marched straight through an army like you owned it. You were calm as they poured arrows into you. You can be brave. You can be unstoppable in the face of danger."

Hold her shoulders, now, and look her in the eye, with your own eyes narrowed. "And I know... deep down, I know... you can be a hero. So don't just do this for me. Don't do anything for me. I haven't destroyed you, Raital. A face and a voice can't destroy you. Save the day, Raital, because it's the right thing to do. And because you're a hero."


If you manage to get all that out, I'm sure Axebeard is looming directly behind you by now.

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)22:01 No. 3617 ID: fb5d8e
File 124702929987.png - (39.16KB , 800x600 , 207.png )

Mudy grabs her hands and pushes them away from her face.
>"Raital! Listen to yourself. You say love when you mean lust. I'm attracted to you. Of course I am. I could hardly speak the minute I laid eyes on you... But love... Love is something that needs time to bloom. And time... Time, Raital! There's a berserk dwarf with a magic sword crashing into the room! You're so wrapped up in your feelings that you can't see that we're about to be killed! We need your help. I know you can focus, the way we need you to focus right now! I've seen you. You marched straight through an army like you owned it. You were calm as they poured arrows into you. You can be brave and calm. You can be unstoppable face of danger."

He looks deep into her eyes, holding them with intensity.

>"And I know... deep down, I know... you can be a hero. So don't just do this for me. Don't do anything for me. I haven't destroyed you, Raital. A pretty face and clothes can't destroy you. Save the day because it's the right thing to do. And because you're a hero."

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)22:03 No. 3618 ID: fb5d8e
File 124702938930.png - (56.26KB , 800x600 , 208.png )

>"A.. A hero?"
Raital pushes Mudy away.
>"Don't.. Damn you, Mudy.. Your words.. I'll..
>I'll show you what makes me a BLUTJAEGER!"
She rises to her feet with blood pouring out of her face. Her eyes are locked in the door just as Axebeard breaks through.
>"HERE'S AXEBEARD!"

In before: HOLY SHIT WE'RE GOING TO DIE!

OH GOD SOMEBODY CALL DUMB LUCK AND MIRACLE. I'M NOT DOING SO WELL HERE

Jesus christ Mudy, you fuckin faggot.

>>3618
but dont kill her!

In retrospect. We just called the high lord of evil's daughter a hero. Hoo boy that was dumb.

Mudy, you'd best kiss her after she saves your ass. That girl needs some stability, and words can only go so far.

>"HERE'S AXEBEARD!"

Fuck yes.

>Love is something that needs time to bloom.

So says the 'bold who fell head over heels about an elf chick at first noserub!

Also: "Please don't kill my dwarf, Raital!"

>>3623
What part of CONVERT TO OUR SIDE are you not getting?

>>3626
The part where it takes time and we dont do it when she's an inch away from snapping!

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)22:08 No. 3628 ID: fb5d8e
File 124702971520.png - (59.44KB , 800x600 , 209.png )

*VOOOMMMM*

>>3618
Why has nobody realized this yet?

>LOVE becomes HATE when mixed with BETRAYAL.

We have our cure for LOVE. Declare yourself after Raital kicks some she-dwarf ass.

Alternatively: "Raital! Just get the sword away from her!"

>>3628
Like so..

>>3590
Now, I'm sure we would both love to rub noses until the stars fall from the sky, arms tenderly wrapped around each other as we indulge in that intimate act. The rubs slickened by the crimson lifeblood escaping you as our... um... where was I going with this?

Oh right! That would be wonderful, but there are things that need to get done! Your father disapproves of our love, and even now hunts us down! More immediately, Axebeard has been possessed by a demon sword and wants to destroy us all! So, though it pains us greatly, we must delay our intimacies until we can be sure nobody will try and interrupt. Do you understand?

>>3628
Okay, miiiight be a bit late for that second part.

>>3628
Awww crap.

>>3629
Haha oh hey.

though couldnt that work in reverse with raital ending up hating mu- oh boy..

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)22:11 No. 3637 ID: fb5d8e
File 124702990178.png - (61.08KB , 800x600 , 210.png )

Everything is quiet.

>>3637

Look outside. Be prepared for the worst.

Dont look. Just...dont look.

>>3637
Oh lord... Go see what's left.

>>3625
>So says the 'bold who fell head over heels about an elf chick at first noserub!

Good point. We must be maturing.

LOVE IS DEAD. Here is a murderer of our friend. Thanks guys.

>>3637
...Did she just self destruct?

FUCK.

SEARCH RUBBLE.

>>3637
Shit shit shit. Go see what became of Axebeard and Raital.

>>3640
Call our for both Raital and Axebeard while searching the rubble if they aren't immediately visible.

Also, god damn it. Has nobody seriously yet suggested the idea that those "THE SKULLKING WATCHES" posters might be LITERAL? Those are probably how he scries.

Examine room...s.

>>3646
It's been suggested several times now.

>>3648
Okay, fair enough. I just speed-read through the archive over the last hour or so, so I probably missed it.

Suggestion 2009/07/07(Tue)22:20 No. 3652 ID: fb5d8e
File 124703043840.png - (32.49KB , 800x600 , 211.png )

Mudy rushes to check on them.
There doesn't seem to be anyone in the hallway anymore.

Oh fuck no.