>>247030
Could be an AI. That would explain there being no picture. Abandon the charm, continue diplomacy. We could probably use some form of shelter or something.

yes, lodgings and someone up the chain of command. also you can stay charming, just don't lay on any more sexy things.

Some nice rooms, a hot meal, and a chance to meet you face-to-face, darling.

Also I guess >>247032

Halaris 2010/10/23(Sat)13:03 No. 247131 ID: 4f6e37
File 128786418553.png - (341.75KB , 800x600 , 58.png )

"Some lodgings for myself and my comrades, and a chance to speak to the head of the tribe, please," I say.
"Of course," says the voice on the other end. "We will make preparations for you. May I ask your species?"

"One Shirm, one Delter, and one human," I say.

"I see," she says. "Representatives of the Shirm and Delter are already present. Are you a separate party?"
"Yyyyes," I say. It appears the pirates have made themselves at home as well.
"We shall make preparations for you," says the Dreimian. "And petition the tribal council for a visitation. Will that be all?"
"Yes. Thank you very much."
"Visitor ship, you are cleared to land on Volitathis Dock II. We anticipate your arrival. Tower out."

I disconnect and head off to bring the ship in. Talia follows me.
"'Slide into their dock', eh?" she says, raising one eyebrow...analogue...thing. "Thinking of bagging a bedbug while we're down there, Halaris?"

>>247131
"Charm is part of how I work. I don't have any plans to fool around." Or something like that, via [diplomacy]. Maybe "Nah, just trying to smooth talk her. Didn't seem to work, but we got what we wanted anyway."

...wait, we should make it clear to her that we might wind up seducing someone to complete a mission someday. Probably not this one though.

>>247134
This, I, uh... I'm going with this. Can't really think of anything else.

"If the mission requires me to, then yes."

Halaris 2010/10/23(Sat)16:30 No. 247259 ID: 4f6e37
File 128787662186.png - (41.93KB , 800x600 , 59.png )

"I was just trying some smooth talk," I say, [diplomatically]. "Didn't seem to work, but we got what we wanted anyway."
"But you're going to chase tail at some point on this mission," she says. It's more a statement than a question.
"If the mission requires me to, then yes," I say.
"Yeah," Talia sighs. The ship rocks slightly as it moves in for a landing. "Oh, hell. I need to make this quick. Hal. Listen. I like you and everything, but I barely know you, y'know? I just don't think I'm ready for a really really close relationship with you right now. With anyone, I mean. It's sort of traditional for a Delter to wait until they are finished warring to really get with someone anyway, and I know you're sex on three legs, so you probably wouldn't be too happy being with just one person either..."
Oh nuts. Here it comes.
"...so I was thinking maybe we should just be fuckbuddies instead."

Halaris 2010/10/23(Sat)16:31 No. 247261 ID: 4f6e37
File 12878766742.png - (166.89KB , 800x600 , 60.png )

"Hal? Halaris? Hello? Are you okay?"

"I am, of course, amenable to any sort of relationship that pleases you."

GAMEFACE, HAL
GAMEFACE

"I'll try to contain my disappointment"

>>247261
"I will be perfectly satisfied with such an arrangement!"

Breathe, Hal. You don't want to faint in front of your fuckbuddy, do you?

Halaris 2010/10/23(Sat)18:55 No. 247353 ID: 4f6e37
File 128788532623.png - (416.25KB , 800x600 , 61.png )

GAMEFACE.
"This is me containing my disappointment," I say. "I suppose I shall be satisfied with such an arrangement, if that's really what you want."
"It is," says Talia. "You're the only man I know on the Unflagging who I won't accidentally screw to death."
"What about Argus?"
"Who I won't accidentally screw to death and isn't an insufferable prick. Probably. I've forgotten how good sex feels cooped up in that stupid ship. So blow off some steam with me every now and again and we'll see if anything happens from there."
"Well gosh," I say. "Crud. Curses. I guess I have to say yes. I am, of course, amenable to any sort of relationship that pleases you."
"Just keep in mind that you can sample the local poontang all you want but I can't get any on this particular planet," mutters Talia. "I'm a walking bugzapper."

We rejoin Anka on the bridge as we descend toward the Volitathis village. "Looks like the dreimians are gathering to greet us," she says. "I hope you weren't trying to be subtle."
"Do I ever try to be subtle?" I ask.
"Good point..." says Anka.

I look down toward the staring dreimians, as a smalll crowd begins to gather near the landing pad. Their faces shine in the rosy light of the Giter sky.
"Visitors, Your rooms are prepared and the council has agreed to meet with you," says the cheery voice of the Tower. "They shall receive you officially this evening."
"That frees up the afternoon for meet-and-greeting the locals," says Anka. "We could find a market or something down there."
"Yeah," says Talia, "or we could find some pirates down there and kick their asses, since they obviously realize we're here now and striking first is a good idea. Plus I really want to try out these new jump packs."

Ass-kicking is the captain's job. If pirates attack us directly, we can kick their asses, but that's it. Our job is to schmooze. So let's see what we can do to get the populace to like us.

they may know we are here, but do they know WHY we are here? doubtful. attacking may result in them alerting their boss and the important ones will get away. they also probably have a respawner on their ship, so kill one and they are in perfect position to alert everyone. so for now you need to stay low and pretend you are an envoy and bodyguard group.

>>247353
Maybe we can appease Talia's urges AND leave the violence to the captain?

Perchance we seek out a bar with our time before the meeting?

We can get a better feel for the locals, you get to see a whole mess of social hierarchy in bars, there will probably be pirates, as who does not like getting drunk when finally dirtside, AND you can get Talia a drunken brawl, insinuate yourselves as being pirates. If you strike first in terms of first impression, you might not need to be careful around the pirates, as they'll be so sure you're just some more pirates, not potential enforcement agents.

So yeah, go toa bar, have some drinks, talk with locals, get Talia drunk, get her a drunken barfight, maybe reconnoiter with a bar maid, give yourself a tutorial of the local species, and THEN go to your official meeting.

Boozing and whoring before your official meeting.

WHAT COULD GO WRONG.

>>247389
Splediferous idea, chap!

Halaris 2010/10/24(Sun)13:11 No. 247592 ID: 4f6e37
File 128795110827.png - (294.53KB , 1000x600 , 62.png )

We decide to drop in at a bar to get the feel for the inhabitants of Giter. My drink senses lead me to a tavern the locals tell me is called The Tumbling Cheesewheel, which they assure me is a real knee-slapper of a pun in their language.

It proves moderately difficult to start a drunken brawl, as the bartender immediately notices us as we walk in (Anka nearly smacks her head on the entrance) and declares a welcoming feast, with free drinks for everyone (well, half-priced drinks, he says, after a moment's hesitation).

"I think I like these people," says Anka, squeezing into a booth.
"Ugh," says Talia. "It's so idyllic I want to scream."

"Welcome to Giter, out-of-towners," says a pretty barmaid, swanning over with a couple of tankards. "Can I help you folks? Drinks?"
"No thanks," says Talia. "Delter don't drink things."
"Really?" the barmaid looks confused. "But I've got an ale for you courtesy of another tall glowing funny-legged alien who..." she looks around. "Huh. He was just in here, but now I don't see him."
"Another delter?" I ask.
"Yep, from the other group of visitors," says the barmaid. "They got here about a month or two ago."
"I'll take that ale if you won't," says Anka.

>>247592
DANGER DANGER POISON ALERT POISON ALERT

"didn't even have to say anything and already got a lead, hot damn i'm good"

>>247594
Normally, an ale courtesy of someone is something that they've paid for, not something they've actually handled.

This is an excellent opportunity to find out a little bit more about their other alien visitors. How many of them there are, for example, and where they live/what they spend their time doing. Charm it up, bearing in mind that the charm skill encompasses more than just outrageous flirting. Tone that bit down a little, since it didn't go over terribly well last time.

Halaris 2010/10/24(Sun)15:20 No. 247646 ID: 4f6e37
File 128795885771.png - (282.15KB , 800x600 , 63.png )

"Hold onto that, Anka," I say, nudging her hard in the ribs. Ow, my elbow. "Don't drink it yet. Listen, uh... I'm so sorry, I haven't gotten your name yet."
"Diminai," she says.
"Pleased to meet you, Diminai. Listen, can you tell me more about these other visitors?"
"Of course," she says. "There are a few three-legged ones like you, and some black and red glowy folks...Delters, you called them? And some colorful people without any faces. I haven't seen anyone like the armored gentleman here."
"Lady," says Anka.
"Oh crud, I'm sorry," says Diminai with a nervous laugh. "Uh, yeah. Just those 3 sorts of people. There are about two dozen of them in all, I'd guess. Four or five of them drink here every day then pack off to wherever. The embassy they've set up in the Commons, maybe. If I'm going to be honest-" she looks around to make sure no one is listening in. "I don't like them much. They're rowdy, they're armed, they don't tip much, and once or twice one of them grabbed my ass. Uninvited. There's some that are friendly enough, though. And I think that..." she gestures for me to come closer. "I think your delter friend has caught one of their eyes, or whatever those things on their faces are," she says. "He told me to slip a note into the glass for her."

>>247646
...DANGER DANGER POISON ALERT POISON ALERT

>>247646
Comment how rude that was of them, and that you never knock if uninvited. Not even on such a nice place as that. Ask more about them, names and appearance and such. Perhaps let on that they aren't folk that should be trusted, not even the nice ones. You shouldn't tip your hand on that freely, but her being aware may prove useful for gathering info.

>>247652
Not sure on that, but let's take no chances. Have the waitress return the beer and be sure to poor it out.

>>247657
You don't want to read the note? It might say something interesting. We can fish it out and read it without actually drinking, or even touching the beverage.

>>247646
Make sure that you are not guilty of that most heinous sin of not tipping much.

>>247661
Oh, just didn't mention but yeah, take out the note and dispose of the drink.

Let's put on a little bit of [charm] to encourage her that we're not here to cause any trouble or anything. Ask what the general opinion is of them aside from hers.

>>247668
Wait, does that always involve flirting? If so, don't bother, use [diplomacy] instead. After all she said she doesn't appreciate the attention very much.

She mentioned she didn't want such unwanted forward advances. There is a big difference between grabbing a persons ass and using a bit of [charm]

>>247592
>"Ugh," says Talia. "It's so idyllic I want to scream."
Welcome to Brom's quests!

>>247646
Okay so Talia should get a hold of the drink, and the note should be read. It could be a letter bomb or something. I'd consider that unlikely, but Anka's in power armor, so she could open it if we want to play things ridiculously safe.

We could perhaps assert that while we are armed, we are not rowdy. Except, perhaps, in bed. We should also note that we tip plentifully. Especially in bed. On a different note, we ought to get some information on the location of the embassy, and its nature in general. That sounds like the Captain's target. Hopefully not in bed.

>>247686
The fact that she specified that it was uninvited implies that she would not be averse to it if they were politer (and, indeed, more [charm]ing).

Halaris 2010/10/24(Sun)17:44 No. 247734 ID: 4f6e37
File 128796749149.png - (354.49KB , 800x600 , 64.png )

"Really," I say. I take the tankard and dunk a hand in, fishing around inside. I pull the note out, unfold it, and hand the ale back to Diminai. "Pour that out, please."
"What-" she says. "I, uh, I think that was for the lady."
"It could be poisoned," explains Talia. "Those other patrons..."
"Let's just say you've got the right hunch about them," I say. Let's try laying on some [charm]. I don't have to use it for flirting all the time, but she certainly does have an intriguing pair of claws. "You should never knock uninvited, after all. No matter how nice the place looks."
"Oh really," she says, with a smile. I may just be imagining her leaning down a little to show off more cleavage.
"Yes really. I promise not to do that, or to be rowdy, unless that's what folks round here are into. Does anyone share your view on them?"
"Well, we don't really like speaking ill of our guests, but there has been some uncomfortableness," she says. "They do smell nice."
"And their embassy?"
"Big and walled and patrolled," she says. "They commandeered one of the shops in the markets. The shopkeepers moved out, I guess. It's traditional to let strangers stay with you but it's generally agreed that when they mount an MG nest on your roof they're pushing courtesy a bit far."
"You couldn't describe them generally for me?"
"Well, they vary a lot, but most of them are sort of like you folks. Tall and armor all over and with weapons, too. Most of them have guns but I saw one or two of the faceless colorful ones carrying sword sorts of things. Spooky. The only standard thing I can think of is that they were all generally pretty cold, unless they wanted to get in your dress." Her antennae twitch. "None of the squid folk tried anything, though. What did you say your name was?"

>>247734
Give your name my good man. And of course get hers as well. I dunno if there's an equivalent to exchanging phone numbers but if she can contact you that could prove useful in case something comes up. Something concerning the pirates, of course. And maaaaybe she'd like to hook up later or something.

>>247734
Markets noon tomorrow... hey, we have a little time to scout out their shack. We should do that. Visit the marketplace and get a good idea of what you can expect at the meeting tomorrow. Show the note to the other two.

In the meantime, have a drink and [charm]flirt with the barmaid a little more. Ask about local customs. What's good to eat around here?

scouting sounds good, knowing the lay of the land would really help. also yeah, see if you can get some bug booty.

>>247895
Make a 'slip up' and say "who's". Tell Diminai your name.

Hm, you might want to subtly ask if they have cameras, it might be good to have someone look out for you, since it's probably a trap.

Halaris 2010/10/27(Wed)20:30 No. 249133 ID: 4f6e37
File 128823662529.png - (406.41KB , 800x600 , 65.png )

"Halaris," I say. "Call me Hal. Is there anything to eat around here, Diminai?"
"While you're on Giter you have to try Watuskin. We got Watuskin burgers, Watuskin steaks, Watuskin fingers..." says Diminai. "Pretty much half the menu is Watuskin carved into different shapes."
"Watuskin?"
"Big red woolly hairy animal things," says Diminai, pointing at the window. "They're sort of a staple. It's why everyone's clothes are so red."
Out in the backyard of the tavern, a hairy lumplike thing grazes peacefully on tall grass. "That's Diservi," says Diminai. "She's a Watuskin and also sort of our mascot."
"I'm game," says Anka. "Bring the Watuskin."
"I guess I'll just watch everyone else eat," grumbles Talia.

Halaris 2010/10/27(Wed)20:30 No. 249134 ID: 4f6e37
File 128823662685.png - (103.71KB , 800x600 , 66.png )

((New Contact: Diminai. Contacts are like allies who take no active role in combat but instead form a support network for Halaris, giving him bonuses and perks on-mission. Dimiani's bonuses include:
Free Drinks,
Knows Some People (Halaris gains a bonus to diplomacy if Diminai speaks to the target) and
Hears Some Things (Diminai can be relied upon as a source of information about the Volitathis tribal holdings)))

After a few minutes, Diminai brings the meal out. Steaming, generous helpings of dark red Watuskin served on pillowy slabs of bread that is perhaps a bit gummier than I'm used to, but tasty in an exotic way.
As we polish off our Watuskin burgers (they taste sort of like a gamier version of a Gronthorodon, but then I suppose you don't know what those are), I make a bit of an effort to score myself a sampling of a different sort of local delicacy. "So how is this job, anyway?" I ask. "Barmaiding's a bit of a lost art back in the Alliance."

Diminai shrugs. "Well, it pays well enough for a Maiden Dreimian, and you meet interesting folks. Speaking of which, it's not exactly every day we get alien diplomats dropping by. I'm intrigued."
"We're probably rolling out soon on official Diplomaticy business soon, but I'd love to tell you all about it some other time," I say. "Is there any way I can call you to get back in touch or something?"
"I doubt Alliance phones will work with Dreimian lines," says Anka.
"Then you can just drop by the tavern if you need me," says Diminai. "It's pretty much a round-the-clock job. I was thinking of going to your meeting with the council. It would always be nice to hear some poetry."
"Poetry?"
"Though it might seem a dumb waste of time, the proceedings are all in full rhyme," says Diminai. "The council's decision, though it may cause derision, at least will sound simply sublime. It's a cultural thing. Official stuff rhymes a lot."
"Intriguing," I say. "We'll have to see for ourselves. Thank you very much for the hospitality, Diminai. I can see why you're the most popular place in town, with such steamily savory succulence served."
"Thanks," grins Diminai, as she walks away, with a purposeful sway in her stride "I hope you liked the food too."

Halaris 2010/10/27(Wed)21:20 No. 249165 ID: 4f6e37
File 128823965391.png - (274.36KB , 800x600 , 67.png )

We excuse ourselves and head to the Bad Guy headquarters. The courtyard in front of the abandoned shop is empty, save for a Watuskin hide draped in its center. The leatherworker treating it is nowhere to be seen.
The abandoned store is at the very end of the cul-de-sac, surrounded by other buildings and impromptu fortifications. I can see two pirates on parapet patrol right now. I don't want to get any closer and risk being possibly seen by that sniper.
"We could jump jet right into the windows, they're completely unguarded," says Talia. "Or maybe onto the roof, take the sniper out quick, drop in and pay them a visit when they least expect it. The jump packs are right in the shuttle, I could go get them. There's like two of them, so one of us could stay back here and watch our asses."
"We're wanted in front of the council in about an hour," says Anka. "We'd be better off spending it finding out more about our hosts and our targets than charging in."
"An hour is plenty of time," says Talia. "Then we go up to the council and go, Eenie Meenie Miney Med, all the pirate fucks are dead. Hooray, big damn heroes. Grub buffalo cow thing meat for everyone."
"Nice rhyming," says Anka.
"I'm a marine, not some slutty barmaid ant thing," says Talia. "What do you want from me?"

>>249165
A little patience and caution. You're the diplomatic team who is able to defend yourselves, not the goddamn assault team. Stay out of trouble as best you can and report all your findings so the ones who are supposed to blow these fuckers up can do their jobs.

I'm sure that if the Captain wanted some pirates dead before anything else, he'd be down here himself. For all we know, half the pirates are out anyway.

Best to scope out the scene at the council, size people up before talking to them. The pirates have an advantage in probably knowing the who's-who already, and we need to close the gap.

We are primarily a diplomat. We should radio the location of the pirate base (and all the info we have on it) to the captain, and then stand by for an hour.

>>249185
Diplomat or not, I don't think standing by for an hour is the kind of action the captain wants us to take.
Instead we should probably be scoping out the pirates, deciding a way to attack it later, maybe even setting up for later offenses / crippling things in their base. But nothing too reckless yet. We do want to be ready in an hour for that meeting regardless of what we do here.

We are a diplomatic mission. You're giving orders, Hal, they're your backup. Don't let anyone's primal instincts get in the way of your negotiations.

Radio the hideout coordinates, its defenses estimation, then head out for the meeting. You've got rhymes to prepare.

Did you take pictues at the bar?

Stay focused Hal! no, not on the mission, we need to deal with that diplomatically. Before that meeting though, you better damn well get pictures of the most boring and culturally significant things around! We have a captain to mess with, this takes priority.

Halaris 2010/10/28(Thu)20:32 No. 249518 ID: 4f6e37
File 128832312440.png - (318.49KB , 800x600 , 68.png )

I decide to refrain from attacking the pirates, instead relaying the coordinates of the pirate base to Belding, then spending about 45 minutes taking pictures of Watuskin in various states of repose.

After a while, prompted by my companions' badgering, we head to the Council Hall.
"Impressive looking," says Anka.
"For a bunch of farmers, sure," says Talia. "So do we just go in?"

Halaris 2010/10/28(Thu)20:32 No. 249519 ID: 4f6e37
File 128832312728.png - (243.16KB , 800x600 , 69.png )

"Not quite, most honored guests!" says an excited Dreimian, popping up out of nowhere and startling Anka enough to make her drop her gun. "All those appearing in front of the Council have the right to choose an official Scribe to serve as their advocate, rhymer, and representative before the Council! I am Senior Scribe Dinordai, and I have the honor to serve as your Scribe before the council, if you would simply follow me!"

Halaris 2010/10/28(Thu)20:32 No. 249520 ID: 4f6e37
File 128832313042.png - (276.38KB , 800x600 , 70.png )

"I believe Senior Scribe Dinordai is in fact mistaken!" says a second scribe, hurrying out of the doorway. "I am Scribe Diamanda, and I would be most honored to represent you in front of the council."
"Ah, Diamanda," says Dinordai warmly. "This, most honored guests, is my sister, and a bit misguided. Fare well, sister. Shall we proceed inside?"
"I believe the guests have a right to choose which Scribe will represent them, honored brother," says Diamanda.
"I believe the choice is clear enough to have already been made, junior Scribe Diamanda," says Dinordai.
"Perhaps they would appreciate a poet rather than a pencil pusher," says Diamanda.
"You must forgive her, Guests, she is a bit wrong in the head."
"You are a dusty dinosaur, Dinordai. There are verse forms besides iambic pentameter."
"She is rash and young, o Guests. Please, think nothing of it."
"Step out of the way, fossil."
"One side, little girl."
"Antiquated exhibit."
"Fiery wanton."
"Douchebag."
"Slut. She can barely put together a sentence. She blew her way through Scribe Academy."
"He's a giant liar and a huge cock and if he represents you he'll bore everyone to death."

If you can bust your own rhymes, this is the time.

Case else, take both.

>>249520
You could do your own rhymes and have a really awesome moment, but that would rob us of the opportunity to get a rap battle out of these two. You know the drill, Hal, you can't go any further without a rap battle... which then you'll suddenly join in and win the entire thing at the last minute

>>249520
I like these two already! Fucking hilarious!

"Do I have to choose only one? Neither of you could be nearly as entertaining as the both of you together."

>>249520
"If only one can accompany me... how can I put this eloquently?
I suppose you both shall have to make
me find out who is the true fake."

RAP BATTLE. We shall see who is the best rhymer.

Maybe an impromptu poetry slam is in order.

Oh! Or "test" them on their knowledge of what the political situation is like, who the big players are, relevant laws, et cetera et cetera

I vote for Dinordai personally, but really Id want to respond in poem... but I need some time >.< im working on another one atm.

There once was a pair of Volitathis
The other's methods, they each found amiss
The sister and brother
Tried outdoing each other
And amusement was brought forth by this.

Lets test their skill.
>>249538
>>249530

Let's provoke then end the rap battle! xD

>>249564
THIS :V

>>249566
Sure, lets see how well these two can freestyle.

>>249520
Well, so far neither of them are being particularly poetic.

We should probably use [diplomacy] in order to smooth things along.

>>249564
>limerick
YES! :D

Try to persuade them that your cultural traditions dictate such quarrels are resolved by employing both of them and having them take turns.
If they entertained us, their rap battle surely will entertain the Volitathis audience.

>>249520
God dammit, Brom. Your quests are the only ones that actually make me laugh.

Halaris 2010/10/29(Fri)13:37 No. 249783 ID: 4f6e37
File 128838464639.png - (270.38KB , 800x600 , 71.png )

"There once was a pair of Volitathis
The other's methods, they each found amiss
The sister and brother
Tried outdoing each other
And amusement was brought forth by this," I say. "Neither of you are being particularly poetic. Rap battle, you two."

"A showdown of the spoken word," says Scribe Dinordai. "I accept. Pay attention, sister, you might learn something." He shuts his eyes for all of two seconds, then launches into an extended sonnet.

"The sky takes on a rosy hue
The street is hush, the sun is low.
There are men who would admonish you
'Pay silent heed to this tableau.

"'Be still and tranquil, in thy troth
To this earth and to its fair state,
Lest she obscure herself in wroth
When she hears us enunciate.’

"But you and I know they are wrong,
The dusty coated, feeble men.
The soul is best expressed with Song.
The verse provides us acumen.

"My gifts I tender up to you,
To ensure that your words ring true."

Halaris 2010/10/29(Fri)13:37 No. 249784 ID: 4f6e37
File 128838467022.png - (237.78KB , 800x600 , 72.png )

"Iambic pentameter again, brother?" says Scribe Diamanda. "I will never understand why you insist on hitching your wagon to a horse long expired. The Honored guest specifically asked for a rap battle. Now then...

Uhn
I say who’s the baddest scribe in town
To whom all others must bow down?
Diamanda. Yeah, bitch, you got Shafted
Burn you so hard gotta get your skin grafted
Yeah
Don’t look on your ass for spare epidermis
Cause I own that shit. Yes sir I am all over this.
You’s what we in the pros call a Hit-and-miss.
Said that I got a reputation as the Ruthlessesst.
So you’re pissed?
Didja miss when I said you could kiss it?
I must inquire, O squire, are you fed up with dis shit?
Believe it. You see it. You feel it? You need it.
Cause the verse you rehearse ain’t no thing but a curse
that
Locks you in place. In your face, fucker. Brace
Yourself for a kickin’, son, trust me I’ll be stickin
my name on your lips, Thou Shalt Not come to grips,
Cause I know that you ain’t never ever heard nothing like this
see
There was a little lady in a little old town,
whose flow (so you know) smacked the haters all down
Why looky there at that fair little girl see her spittin’
That good shit, alacritious, I believe I am smitten.
Why I float like a butterfly. No. I purr like a kitten. No.
I rap like Ali, all these rhymes that I’m hittin’ said the
Hard
Core
ain’t where you at. Want an
En
Core?
Because you just fell flat. Wanna
Re
Store
Your rep after that?
Bad news, son. You can’t, son. Sit down, son. Just walk, son. Fuck off, son.
I wrap it up
Rap it up
What the fuck
Y’outta luck
Diamanda Di Greatest is here for the squid man.
And she is a-thinkin’ it’s time that you hid, man.
What."

>>249784
I'm gonna have to go with the girl. She's got energy.

>>249789
Yeah, she does and she be good. But I kind of suspect that Hal would be pretty decent at busting his own rhymes.

>>249791
Now, dismissing them might cast a shadow of overconfidence on us. Wouldn't want to seem intrusive, would we?

All right, I change my vote. Screw the guy, Diamanda wins. Hands down.

Dramatic reading of this. You know you want it.

Yes, taking a rapper to meet the highups. That will totally end well.

Go with the brother.

>>249802
I was thinking the same. I think taking Dinordai would be best.

>>249784
"Dinordai...
I called rap battle 'cause it's like diplomacy,
you've gotta know how to adapt and show versatility.
I know it's not your forte,
so I would've nudged your way,
but when your lack of even trying
nearly had me crying
I knew your mind was all stone when I was looking for clay.
You're a master at your task,
and you're running high on class,
but when I changed the game and your moves still stayed the same
I simply gotta say that this just ain't your day so the girl with the killer ass is the one I've gotta pass."

Diamanda

>>249814
pretty solid kid, but we gotta give Dinordai a fighting chance, oi?

"Brother Dinordai, you've clearly a grasp
But for this round, you've been handed your ass.
Sister Dimanda, you've an impressive flow
But for all fairness, let's have another go.

Come on kids, round two!
Show me what you can do.
You've got two round to go
Before the end of this show.

Bring the best you fucking got
Cause round three's your last shot
At sittin' high and pretty on the throne
Of being the one who'll scribe for those flown
In from above well high in the sky
So now, don't leave us out to dry.
Go on, go now, get on with it.
I've gone and said my bit."

>>249784
I'm afraid that my hatred of all things gangsta means I cannot possibly condone this. Brother.

Halaris 2010/10/29(Fri)20:54 No. 249987 ID: 4f6e37
File 128841089879.png - (106.25KB , 800x600 , 74.png )

((New Contact: Diamanda. Bonuses include:
Freeflow (Diamanda's signature style. Light on meter or structure, but heavy on lyrical alacrity and speed; This is either a benefit or drawback depending on the receiving end, with the more traditional opposing her unorthodox delivery),
Fluid Style (Diamanda did not, in fact, blow her way through Scribal Academy. She has dabbled in Haiku, Sonnet, Delter Kural, Blank Verse, Limerick, Free verse, Slam, and, of course, Rap. She is unpredictable in her choice of form, but frequently effective. Critical success is more likely using her as a speaker, but critical failure is slightly more likely as well),
Firebrand (Diamanda is one of the younger scribes of Tribe Volitathis, and as a result is unusually passionate about her craft. As she gets into it and picks up momentum, she provides progressively higher bonuses to Diplomacy), and
Scribal Secrets (Diamanda is more easily swayed than her older brother, and as a result can be talked, threatened, decieved, or seduced into providing sensitive information only an official of the Volitathis would know).))

"Dinordai," I say, "I called a rap battle because it's like diplomacy.
You've got to know how to adapt and show versatility.
I know it's not your forte,
so I would've nudged your way,
But I knew your mind was all stone when I was looking for clay.
You're a master at your task,
and you're running high on class,
but when I changed the game and your moves still stayed the same? Kind of lame.
I think I have to say say this just isn't your day. Diamanda."
"Yessir."
"Can I tap you?"
"But of course," says Diamanda. "I offer up my services to you."
"Be a little more suggestive, Halaris, the folks in back didn't get it," says Anka.
"Shall we enter and speak with the Council now, or did you have some questions for your new representative?" says Diamanda. "What, exactly, are you trying to speak to the Council about, if I may be bold enough to inquire?"

>>249987
"You know those guys who took over that shop in the market and put guns all over it?
Well, they have a nasty tendency to do that to other people, only using bullets instead of words. They're pirates who've been using this planet as a staging ground for raids, and we're here to get official approval so we can stop them.

>>249987
Can we get a more private area to sit down and explain things? Don't want to do it here and now, even if the only other person you see is her brother. Too open and exposed, and we should take the time to explain the situation fully. Just say something about Alliance diplomatic policies. Try not to be flirty about it, not when you're next to her brother at any rate.

>>250026
>>250043


Yeah this. Hmmm. Actually, see if her brother could tag along anyway. He might have a different tome of knowledge tucked away in his bug brain. (Considering the rhyming scheme, a dusty one)
It might take some [diplomacy] though.
If we can get a good idea about the council and how certain members feel about the pirates before hand...

Halaris 2010/11/01(Mon)21:04 No. 251331 ID: 4f6e37
File 128867066276.png - (151.91KB , 800x600 , 75.png )

"Can we get a more private area somewhere?" I ask.
"Of course," says Diamanda. "I'm sure one of the interview rooms is unoccupied. Our companions can wait here and entertain each other. If you'll follow me?"

She leads me to a smallish room with two wooden chairs nailed to the floor. "Spartan, no?" she says as she sits down on one of the chairs and gestures for me to do the same. "It's to make you uncomfortable. Uncomfortable?"
"I've been worse," I say, sitting opposite her. "Okay, Diamanda, right down to the brass tacks. You know those other visitors who took over that shop in the marketplace and covered it with guns? Well, they're pirates, they use this planet as a staging ground, and I'm here seeking official sanction to blow them up. In a nutshell."

"Hmmm." She squirms forward a little. "That may not go over well. The thing is, Honored Guest, Dreimians have a traditional code of offering safe haven to anyone who wants it. Getting them to agree to something like this will be by no means easy. But you've hired the best to represent you, of course, and I'm sure your arguments will have some merit. Plus, and I'm going to be blunt here, the Council may be predisposed to look more kindly on you because you smell nice."

"I smell nice?"
"Well, you and the other aliens. Dreimians work a lot off of smell, and your species and the Qal and the Humans actually smell quite nice. Not so much the Delter, which as a collective smell altogether too much like ozone. If you don't mind me mentioning it."

"Not at all. Do you have any insight on the Council?"
"There are about fifty active members, but only four will be at your meeting today," she says. "The others will be listening in remotely. For several reasons, one of which is that every one has a different opinion on poetry, and they want it to be fair, after all."

"So poetry means a lot?"
"Not quite as much as facts, but it can be the tipping point. You just leave that to me, Honored Guest. I'll rephrase your arguments for you. All except your introductory poem, which I'm afraid you'll have to compose for yourself. A word of advice, freeform rap may be good fun, but even a Maiden like me recongizes it has fewer uses in the council chambers. For an introduction you want to have a bit more structure, test the waters, that sort of thing."

"Okay," I say, [diplomatically]. "Is there any way I can get both you and your brother to represent me?"
"Well. I mean I suppose you could, but a scribal team is really only reserved for major cases with weeks of preparation," says Diamanda, quickly. "Don't worry. I am more than enough scribe to get you through this. Besides," she grins, "Dinordai, bless his blowhole, is what happens when the Stick in the Mud and the Thawed Neanderthal have a lovechild. We'll have a more fun, productive time without him."

>>251331
Tell her that if they were just claiming safe haven then you wouldn't even be here, ask if it would help to play up the fact that they're not using their people for asylum, but as meat shield hostages.

>>251331
We should try to get a better idea on this Dreiman hospitality, surely it isn't endlessly open and forgiving. Such as when Diminai mentioned "pushing courtesy a bit far" there must be something about what these pirates have been or will inevitably be doing that crosses the line. And that you can't be a good host to others if you keep such desirable sorts about. Also convince them that a proper Alliance friendship is so much nicer than putting up with those jerks. See if you can't find out if any of the members have a special relation to the pirates.

>>251359
Oh and that is important too. Makes for a nice little bit to wrap your case up with.

Using charm for diplomatic ends is of course the way to go here. For the purpose of having fun whist productive, of course. And what is it about your guys smell that is so appealing to them?

It'd help if these pirates had made trouble of some sort. Did they kick someone out of that building they are set up in? Have they caused trouble of any sort?

It'd be perfect if we could somehow get them into a firefight with some locals, but we are a bit short on time to be setting something like that up.

My introductory poem for Hal!

My greetings, hospitable Dreimians
May my presence today be fair for you.
I speak to ye today about houseguests, lemons.
For a true neighbor is a pas de deux

What you have instead is pirates, vulgar.
Who do harm upon others in your care,
Who use your peace as a form of bunker.
To those seeking peace, we come your prayer.

I request the power, right, or your aid
To expel these pirates and uphold staid,
By the way, that is a fabulous robe,
Allow me the right to aid peace on globe.

As is plain to see, they defend for war
Something preytel, I know you must abhor.
They steal from the area peace, leather,
A cul-de-sac that could be used better.

Guards stand and fortifications are made,
A kind of permanent guest that you wish not stay.
People of the local bar express their dismay.
These kinds of guests will soon surpass just jade.

And so I may exit with all my charm.
I promise to seek things that do not harm.
For they are your guests now, and so are we
Thus let us work together, fruitfully.


I figure its worth offering that were willing to try peace with the pirates first. Though this can be removed we all really don't like that.

I like my poem, though somewhat short notice, decided to mix around a bit between the more formal ideas behind stanzas and rhyme with a bit of more freeforming also mixed in to try and avoid sheer boring. So the rhyme scheme and stanzas stay about the same, but some non-true rhymes are used, iambic pentameter is used as hexameiter at one point, blah blah boring poetry stuff only I as the author care about.

Halaris 2010/11/02(Tue)12:13 No. 251508 ID: 4f6e37
File 128872522074.png - (157.69KB , 800x600 , 76.png )

"I'd like to get more of a handle on this Dreimian tradition of acceptance," I say, continuing with [diplomacy] and adding a pinch of [charm].

"It's not particularly complicated," says Diminai. "We simply take pains to keep our guests as satisfied as possible, within reason. Taking quarters in our market is pushing it, but it's not enough for us to sanction throwing them to the dogs. No offense."
"See, if that was all that was going on and they were just claiming safe haven I wouldn't even be here. What's happening is that they are hiding here and putting your asses out on the line for them, which is a serious waste of fine alien tail. As a member of the Alliance I can see better uses for it."
She sits up straight, raising an eyebrow, and grins. "Are you implying something, Honored Guest?"

"All I'm saying is that there's probably a reason people appreciate Dreimian hospitality so much beyond the charmingly rustic accountrements," I say, evenly. "Yours is a fairly photogenic race, on the whole. And I'm sure you'll find a solid friendship with the Alliance to be much nicer than putting up with Pirates."
"Well, if we look nice and you smell good, I see no reason this won't go swimmingly," says Diminai. "Shall we meet the council?"

Halaris 2010/11/02(Tue)12:13 No. 251509 ID: 4f6e37
File 128872523144.png - (266.14KB , 800x600 , 77.png )

We regroup with everyone else and head to the Council Chambers. We're greeted by a small crowd who have showed up to watch, including Diminai, who waves at me, and a tall cloaked figure I can only assume is a Delter pirate.
The Councillors themselves sit on a raised platform at the opposite wall, each dressed in blue and green finery, each with a glowing green screen on the platform before them. I can't make out what's displayed on them from here. The furthest right of them stands, and announces,
"Salutations to our guests
Who visit us from distant sky.
Here before us to contest
Some matter deserving of our eye."
"Dersichore," whispers Diamanda. "Big into tradition. May be difficult to sway."
Another Councillor says,
"Welcome indeed, Guests.
Blessed is this August Court
To accept your fare."
"Delanida," says Diamanda. "Sensetive, motherly type."
The Councillor in between the two of them, a bored-looking man, says,
"This is a Kethu Ballad Verse, whose first and last lines sole must rhyme.
Which means I can make the middle line as long and lucid as I need it to be. Now then. Introductions tend to take a really long time without going anywhere while someone tries to find a poetical bridge into the subject at hand, so before this one gets too long winded, I'm Derdilus, that's Derischore, there's Delanida, and the young one over there is named Derbule. I feel it's time for us to get down to the brass tacks, if it's all the same to you, Honored Guest. Yours is the opening remark. Feel free to begin at your leisure.
This was a Kethu Ballad Verse, which has just saved us lots of time."
"Derdilus is more a practical man," whispers Diamanda. "I don't really know Derbule, he's new."

Shall I go ahead and let out that diplomatic sonnet, now, or does anyone else have anything to add?

Halaris [charm] poem (a Shakespearian sonnet)

Let me not to, keep my desires own.
I seek to know you much better, and more
Let me show you a good reason to moan.
Let me remove the pirates you abhor.
With this taken care, before it does spread,
Removal of pain, let us flush with glee.
I know what you need to happily bed.
Removal of false alliance, my plea.
There’s more to this group than just honeyed words,
So take a moment, breathe it in, for you
Before the Hal experience? For the birds.
Beyond these clothes, there is much more to view.
So I beseech thee, givers of the law
Lets be quick, I want to get to know those claws.

I was supposed to go over the top sexual with this so noone would choose it! Instead I made it potentially subtle enough to pass as is, ah well. I leave up to you all to choose. Oh double meanings, there is much more to Hal under those clothes ya know, like a marksman, and a rather intelligent fellow...

I'm thinking stick with pure diplomacy. Charming a whole group of people is a bad idea, especially with mixed gender and sexuality involved.

Well charm like for seducing of course not, but putting yourself forward as personally likable and trustworthy is a good idea. Keep it secondary to the actual issues though. Speak well of their good nature, and poorly of those who would abuse it.

Halaris 2010/11/03(Wed)19:58 No. 251987 ID: 4f6e37
File 128883949512.png - (257.45KB , 800x600 , 78.png )

My greetings, hospitable Dreimians
May my presence today be fair for you.
I speak to ye today about houseguests, lemons.
For a true neighbor is a pas de deux

What you have instead is pirates, vulgar.
Who do harm upon others in your care,
Who use your peace as a form of bunker.
To those seeking peace, we come your prayer.

I request the power, right, or your aid
To expel these pirates and uphold staid,
It's plain to see they're preparing for war
An act I know you must abhor.

Let me deal with the pirates, the source of your moans,
and help you go to bed with more sonorous tones" here I break verse for a moment, for effect "(If I may be so bold, of course).
These ill-bred guests want a permanent stay.
The Alliance now offers to drive them away."

A few Dreimians, Diminai included, grin at that last verse. The council takes a moment to consider what I have said, all of them tapping their monitors with soft clicking sounds. Perhaps communicating silently?

Finally, the far right one, Dersichore, stands up, and says:
"We recognize these piratical woes
But I fear tradition ties our hands.
Each Dreimian in this hall knows
Strangers must not need fear in our lands."

Delanida says:
"These bandits, you call them, put their faith in us
And we are bound by our honor to keep that faith strong.
A breach of our code may well prove disastrous
To the wider soul of our people, before too long."

"All this being said,
The behavior of these men
Lends your will credence," muses Derbule, the quiet one.

"The issue we face, here, Guest,
Is one of Precedent, for each of our decisions
Will forever be noted, and forever referred to.
We need to know if it's worth it,
To take such a leap of faith in our ethics.
And for that we need to know fully
Of the malignance of these pirates.
To our knowledge the worst they have done
Is to take Quarters where they do not belong.
This does not seem like a worthy cause
To go against the Volitathis spirit.
And that was freeverse, so anyone who says I didn't rhyme can stick it where the sun doesn't shine," says Derdilus. "You may now rely on your Scribe for your rhymings, and need not compose any sort of doggerel for the sake of this council."

>>251987
...we did get briefed on their crimes in detail, right? Read a dossier or something?

But their worst crime against the Dreimians, so far as I know, is tricking them into supporting criminals unknowingly and presumably lying about their intentions on the planet. Which is kind of a dirty thing to do; a lot of hospitality traditions have escape clauses for the host if they're stuck with a poor guest, so that might be worth mentioning as a supporting point to the whole pirate bit.

If the Dreimians fail to kick them out now that they've been informed of this, then their government will be guilty of piracy against Alliance vessels (assuming that aiding/abetting criminals in their acts causes equal guilt according to Alliance law as in the US) and the Alliance will be able to legally take action against them. Let's save that point for if it looks like we've otherwise lost, though; it's really rather hostile to the Dreimians present.

The issue here is with precedent, it is one thing to establish that those who harm them should not be treated as a guest, or that those who have wronged or intend to wrong them be cast out. But right now all they have is the accusation and possibility of betrayal, if they act on that it undermines their traditions. You can't have trust if you are afraid of what anyone might do, or provide open sanctuary while still allowing others to enforce their own laws those they grant it to.

Couldn't tell you what the solution to all this is, but if you recognize these facts it will possibly help them to be in your favor. Provide evidence of all they have done, and what they are actively doing, and if that falls short than offer to provide further proof via investigations.

Halaris 2010/11/04(Thu)19:58 No. 252482 ID: 4f6e37
File 128892592536.png - (143.29KB , 800x600 , 79.png )

"So do I just whisper to you?" I ask.
"Sure, if you want," says Diamanda. "But it's just as common for you to present your case in prose to the council and for me to handle the poetry."
"Okay, well," I say, thinking. "Tell them I understand the importance of this decision as precedence, but that the Alliance is their protectorate, and these guys are wanted criminals. These pirates are actively attacking the people sheltering you, and it's your responsibility to turn them in."
"And tell them if they don't the Alliance is hanging them out to dry," whispers Talia.
"I'm not sure if that's the message we want to send..." I say. Diamanda cuts me off.

"Scribe Diamanda Volitathis," she says, pulling off her hat and bowing to the council. "Representing the Alliance Guests.

the lion stirs which curled dormant
once on the sun-baked crackstone
where it had known no disturbance
save its custodianship.
who is the cub to challenge
its stretching limb or the lazy turning
of its great back looming as the sky looms?
its place has always been accomodation
Thank you."

The Council takes a moment to consider this, as several members of the assembled audience rap their knuckles on their seats. Finally, after some more tapping on consoles, Derdilus says,
"Kenthu verse now on the way.
As may be apparent, I do not subscribe to much Volitathis Tradition. It seems to me that what the Guest says is simple common sense. For years, the Alliance has shielded our entire planet. I don't know about everyone else but I still remember the Sult incursion. Even if it was not our responsibility as protectorate to hand over one scruffy band of brigands, the debt we owe the Alliance for their aid would demand any decent Dreimian to heed their words. I say we lift our protection from these pirates.
Kenthu verse has gone away."

Derbule nods.
"We owe you this much.
To show our loyalty now
I yield to the guests."

They look to Dersichore, who shakes his head no and is silent.

Delanida stares into the distance in pensive thought.
Finally, she says, in a quiet voice,
"I wonder for what grave offense
Life was exposed to violence."
She looks up grimly. "Is there no other way to settle this matter?" she says, addressing me directly and out of verse.

>>252482
It's possible, maybe. The pirates invited us for a private chat tomorrow. We could see what they want before we move against them. Get their side of the story.

>>252482
Well if the pirates want to peacefully surrender that is an option... but they might rather fight instead of surrender. It would be smarter of them than fighting a battle they can't win, so maybe you can try to talk some sense to them. Why not ask the plainly obvious pirate sitting right fucking there about that idea.

>>252563
We may not want to mention that here and now. For all we know that one guy is working against the rest.

Halaris 2010/11/05(Fri)14:58 No. 252858 ID: 4f6e37
File 128899431664.png - (171.51KB , 800x600 , 80.png )

"That is entirely possible," I say. "I assure you I'll do everything possible to secure a bloodless surrender from the pirates. They may see how hopeless their situation will be and come quietly, should you agree to side with the Alliance."

"Then I see little other choice," says Delanida. "I support the Alliance Guests."
"That didn't rhyme," says Dersichore.
"Stuff it, Derse," says Derdilus.

"Now perhaps I could get these negotiations started immediately with the rather obvious pirate sitting here watching these proceedings," I say.
"What pirate?" says Derdilus.
"The one with the glowing eyes and the cloak," I say. "Over to the far right."
"He left during Delanida's last couplet," says Derdilus, dryly.

Oh, bugger.

>>252858
Well, looks like you're going to have to go find that guy, or something.

Catch that guy!

No point trying to catch him NOW, isn' it?

Time to call the captain, and tell him you promised to make them surrender first. Time to try to get talking with those pirate pals...

Why haven't you had sex with anyone on this planet yet? Something is going terribly wrong here...