pffft just tell him you need him to come with you to save the world. He's a pacifist he'll keep his dudes off you..

>>303600
"Dude, I fucked up the timeline and now everyone are Dinosaurs. You think your dad could help me fix this?"

>>303600
Shoot them all. Burn into the ground "Deus has haud filius."

>>303615
What? No! Leave Judas!

We're approaching this wrong. Let's just go back and make it so they develop english instead of whatever dinosaur language they use.

Also make it so the lady folk have breasts. This is very important.

Make it happen!

>>303600
Eh, just torch the entire place. Then go burn down the Temple as well. Try to get that annoying temple cult out of the way.

Hum... I'm honestly curious what the effects of ending Christianity before it spreads would be, but I'm afraid it would mean that missionary Judaism would take its place and then we'll never get Hitler back alive.

Suggestion 2011/05/12(Thu)22:04 No. 303833 ID: f123de
File 130526306822.png - (87.71KB , 500x500 , P22.png )

>>303601
>>303602
>>303752

I announce myself in a dramatic fashion!

They're shouting in some kind of... dino-Aramaic, I guess? Except the raptor with the glowing head, who politely asks me if his father sent me.

"Come with me! We've got to save THE FUTURE!"

Suggestion 2011/05/12(Thu)22:06 No. 303834 ID: f123de
File 130526319303.png - (106.43KB , 500x500 , P23.png )

>>303752
On the way out I set the big temple on fire. Future generations will thank me! Right?


Goddammit! I forgot - the time machine seats one!

Crap. Just tell him what your problem is and ask for advice, instead.

just adjust the settings and send him back to 10000000 BC.

>>303834

The obvius answer is that one is going to have to sit on the others lap.

>>303834
Go back to the Tesla-future.
Modify the time machine to have a sidecar.
Return to a few seconds after you left here.

>>303834
Well crap, gonna have to kick him out then, after all, raptor Jesus must go extinct for our sins. And you know, with the temple on fire and the higher priesthood in disarray he's probably not going to get crucified. He's probably got a decent chance at reforming judaism now. Christianity is probably not going to get started now, Paulus might still show up and convert to raptor Jesus little sect, or not. But with the orginal leader intact he's probably not going to be able to push through the reforms he did otherwise.

Suggestion 2011/05/13(Fri)22:20 No. 304140 ID: f123de
File 130535044457.png - (89.81KB , 500x500 , P24.png )

>>303842
...

ADVENTURE!

Ok - ow watch your elbow - where are we going?

Watch the claws! Watch the claws!

Shit just got Bill and Ted.

Tell him you need his help to give dinosaurs breasts. He'll understand. It's what God would want.

We're going to improve the world however we can, by any means necessary.

>>304140
inb4 The Fly

I think a Jesus/Tesla team is the most logical way to proceed at this point.

>>304140
We're going TO THE MOON.

Except the moon is actually a dull airless rock so we're actually going to go to Tesla and see what happens if we have dino Jesus and dino Tesla in the same room. Then take dino Jesus back one year after he's meant to have died or resurrected or whatever happens according to whatever branch of Dinostianity you follow.

Then after that, I dunno, go stop yourself stopping the apocalyptic asteroid. Let's hope we get humans again and not squid. Or some sort of insect society beyond fathoming. Or accidentally wake up some elder race that's been hibernating throughout your history and is unleashed within this one.

>>304200
This.

>>304140
Just a quick jaunt back to the 20th century to see what the new dominant religion is. Then we can see if it's still possible to stage a Second Coming.

Suggestion 2011/05/14(Sat)18:09 No. 304263 ID: f123de
File 130542178756.png - (67.10KB , 500x500 , P25.png )

>>304200
Yes.

Just zip forward and... apparently the Earth is frozen and blackened by fire.

That's not good! What the fuck happened?

Zip back and...

Suggestion 2011/05/14(Sat)18:12 No. 304264 ID: f123de
File 130542194279.png - (123.02KB , 500x500 , P26.png )

999 CE (?), Norway.

Oh. Um. The Norse pantheon became the primary religion in the absence of Christianity and...

Ragnarök?

This... shouldn't be TOO hard to fix, should it? Then we can get back to Tesla!

>>304264
Go back to before Loki accidentally seduced the dudes horse and birthed slepnir. Turn that stallion into a gelding so he won't get distracted and the gods lose the bet.

>>304264
Yeah it should be fixable. Just have to get to Asgard and prevent Loki from making Hoder kill Baldr, and possibly kill the Fenris wolf. First part should be easy, just convince Frigg that she needs to ask mistletoe not to hurt him either, then he would be pretty much invurneable.

Killing the Fenris wolf on the other hand, that one is tough. Beam gun might do the trick, hopefully atleast. Just don't screw up and hit the chains holding him instead, that would be bad, very bad.

>>304270
Wait, no, go back to before Baldr was killed and steal the mistletoe. If Baldr is alive then Ragnarok never happens.

"Neither weapons nor trees will injure Baldr; I have taken an oath from them all." The woman asked: "Has everything sworn you an oath to spare Baldr?" Frigg replied: "West of Valhalla grows a little bush called mistletoe, I did not exact an oath from it; I thought it too young."

Or, you know, just tell Frigg to extract an oath from it. Let Jesus chill with them too.

Suggestion 2011/05/14(Sat)19:51 No. 304293 ID: f123de
File 130542788304.png - (120.46KB , 500x500 , P27.png )

>>304270
>>304273

...I don't remember installing a "MYTHIC" switch on this thing.

---

??? BCE, Bifröst

Ok, so I guess we're gatecrashing this place to go neuter a horse? There's an angry looking guy with a a silly horn and golden teeth staring at us.

Still got the zapgun.

>>304293
ABORT. Operation horse-neuter is a no. Let's do that mistletoe thing instead.

Suggestion 2011/05/14(Sat)20:21 No. 304303 ID: f123de
File 130542970303.png - (121.53KB , 500x500 , P28.png )

>>304296

1000 years earlier, Bifröst

WHY DID I THINK THIS WOULD WORK DIFFERENTLY

>>304303
Tell him that you hear that there was some non-Baldr-killing swearing going on you felt left out. Also, some asshole mistletoe was plotting.

Alright. This guy only hates giants, so we should be okay.
Let's go up to him and tell him the following: "Ahoy there! I have an important message for Odin! Please, could you let us in? I'm not a giant. You can see that by examining my stature. Please let me in?"

As a possible safety measure, we could first go 5 minutes into the future and look for us-shaped piles of guts, to make sure future-past-us didn't die.

Paradoxes? AHAHAHAHA WHAT ARE THOSE?

Wait, wait, is that Heimdal-dino? He's probably drunk but he's pretty effective at keeping shit out. But wait, we have Jesus-dino, he can make every damn thing there is into booze, that should be a sufficient passport.

Suggestion 2011/05/15(Sun)02:11 No. 304345 ID: f123de
File 130545065294.png - (150.53KB , 500x500 , P29.png )

>>304305
>>304323

I explain that we are not giants and he lets us past. Huh.

We get inside and it looks like maybe they're just all idiots. Their idea of a fun Saturday afternoon is watching arrows bounce off of Baldur? I should have let them die off after all.

Not hard to swap out the mistletoe the blind dino was using and we're headed back to the future!

Suggestion 2011/05/15(Sun)02:19 No. 304346 ID: f123de
File 130545114872.png - (81.35KB , 500x500 , P30.png )

...which seems to be postapocalyptic again.

This time around St. Patrick never drove Yig, Father of Serpents, out of Ireland? Reptoids erupted from their subterranean lairs in the late 19th century to wage war on dino-kind! I don't really see much of a difference, but Tesla assures me there is one.

I have a time machine, a sidecar, Jesus and Nikola Tesla, and my trusty zapgun. Anything else that needs to be done before I SAVE THE FUTURE?

>>304346
...You know, future is pretty much fucked. Go back to the Greek times, have Tesla and Hayzus chill with the philosophers.

>>304346
Rock concert.

>>304349
>>304352
Combine these two ideas for SCIENCE!
Rock concert in the ancient greek era. Tesla can do the lights and I hear Jesus can play a mean guitar.

>>304346
Ask Tesla to give you books and blueprints for all his inventions, also let him examine the zap gun and see if he can replicate it. Then go back to a point where he's a young man in his early 20's give him all of that stuff and then go back to this time again.

With Tesla's genius and those plans he should be able to come up with weapons to defeat the reploids. Especially if he has the power of Jebus on his side.

>>304356
Do you one better: Dinosaur Da Vinci. Dino Napoleon! I think we should just get a huge group of geniuses and import them to Greece. Then we go ten minutes into the future, grab them all, and go five minutes back so we have MOAR GENIUSES.

It's pretty clear that we're creating and destroying alternate timelines, so it should work. If it doesn't, no loss.

>>304376
oh god this

You know why all these problems are popping up? Body thetans. You need to go back a few billion years and kick Xenu's ass!

Tell Dino-Tesla that we'll solve the problem for him by going back in time and defeating that guy he mentioned, but only if he figures out where and how to modify the timeline to make dinosaurs with breasts.

This is non-negotiable!

>>304484
Shaddup.

Why do that when we could just hop into the future, get a bunch of high-tech laserguns and other assorted tech, then hand them off to Tesla and let him take them apart and reverse engineer them.

Suggestion 2011/05/20(Fri)00:20 No. 305439 ID: f123de
File 130587599733.png - (302.14KB , 745x500 , P31.png )

>>304349
>>304352
>>304354

Maybe I've been going about this the wrong way?

If I can't fix the future, I can at least fix the PAST! Yes! Time to start kidnapping the great minds of history!

---

...most of whom don't seem to exist anymore, what with the plagues and zombies and giant nuclear insects. But we've still got enough to start forging a dino-utopia!

Suggestion 2011/05/20(Fri)00:20 No. 305440 ID: f123de
File 130587605384.png - (262.72KB , 690x589 , P32.png )

Best of all, I introduce them to the power of ROCK. Jesus plays a mean guitar!

...but I feel like I was forgetting something.

(animated) Suggestion 2011/05/20(Fri)00:25 No. 305441 ID: f123de
File 130587631118.gif - (527.82KB , 800x600 , P33.gif )

21XX

EMERGENCE DAY


Thank you for reading!

We got the good ending.

>>305441
BEST END

>idiotic meme end