You are a DORF. Armed with your IRON AXE, you are ready to take on the denizens of the dungeon. Descending from the EAST, you are now in this room. There is an open door to the WEST.
Punch everything. Ascend to godhood.
Find alcohol.
Loot everything
Tear down that tapestry thing!
>>196314 You pull out your ax and do what must be done. You pull out your ax and let your loose your fury!
>>196316 The room is defiled before you! You stand victorious. Inside the barrel, you find 13 GOLD COINS and lots of wooden splinters. Behind the TORN TARP, you see something dark.
>>196318 Sniff the air for the scent of booze!
>>196318 Exit east.
what's going on here you're not Gnome
>>196324 Of course he's not a gnome. This is Dorf Quest. Duh.
Hmm. This hasn't updated in like 3 whole hours. It must be dead. And punch line delivered, we're done here right?
It was updated 9 minutes before you. You must remember that the time here is not time there.
>>196323 You find a DISGRUNTLED CYCLOPS! He seems upset with something. The room is bare, and its rough walls are an affront to your fine dorfen sensibilities.
Axe him where is the treasure!
>>196337 Cleave him in twain!
>>196337 Axe his groin a question. Namely if it bleeds if you chop at it with an axe.
>>196337 Talk to the cyclops. Make sure he's not an elf in disguise.
You quickly prepare to strike!
The cyclops swings across with its heavy club! That thing looks painful, but you can take it! You're a DORF!
The two of you swing at each other, and strike a dramatic pose after the blow! A momentary cliffhanger will see this battle completed!
VICTORY! You gain 500 XP! You have reached LEVEL 3! You are currently a LVL 2 FIGHTER. Which class will you take: >Fighter >Thief >Mage
>>196369 Fighter! Thieves and Mages are for faggots!
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3301577/ PS: Mage
Mage. Wait no, pick Thief because that's the same class as the author.
>>196369 Fighter.
...switching to Mage.
Mage. Let's shoot fireballs out of our ass.
We shall become an Arcane Warrior! Mage.
You are now FIGHTER 2/MAGE 1! You have gained DETECT MAGIC You have gained READ MAGIC. You have gained DAZE.
Now what?
>>196402 Exit east.
Get bitten by a snake and die.
>>196402 Fall down a well and drown, only to later be resurrected in order to go on an adventure around the world what reaches it's climax in a battle against Moradin on the moon.
reach pinnacle of story retelling when you meed a time paradox of yourself that wants to do somethign else asides pretending he is the main protagonist in god of war.
>>196406 You exit east. ...Something about this room seems different.
Okay, stop it. That's enough of this.
>>196416 Exit east again and see if you can find any alpacas to domesticate.
>>196418 OKAY FINE GEEZ
>>196431 well thats... tecnically different. continue adventure as a lhama.
>>196431 YOU FOOL, YOU'LL CREATE A TIME PARADOX!
FISSION MAILED