This is the most fucked up quest ever, and i love it.

Theta][Sigma 2010/01/16(Sat)03:02 No. 111740 ID: f21281
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Everybody's dead, Jim.

Everybody. Everybody's dead.

Everybody is dead, everybody's dead, everybody is dead, Jim.

>>111723
Looks like someone is watching.

And to think that I thought space whale sex would be the oddest part of this quest.

(polite sage)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ptitle1fqxgbbvavmd

Suggestion 2010/01/16(Sat)05:51 No. 111787 ID: 34bfdb
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Pha, Knew you were a 'Furry' Jim. Damn Shame, poor Crow-girl is going to left out in the cold.

Crowmanticar Revolutions Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)12:36 No. 114016 ID: 15f6d6
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Man, that was kinda fucked up. After that all happened, we flew down though one of the holes. Theres, like, more passage in front of me, and theres two big piles of those ball things, and like, a chute and some crap.

>>114016

You've got a bit of a stain there, Jim.

>>114016

Anyway, we should either check the passage or the chute first.

I suggest the passage, because it looks like it might go left.

>>114016

Check out the chute.

somebody had a good time...

Right now may be a good time to avoid the eggs and go left...
And possibly not run into that catfish... thing...

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)13:12 No. 114025 ID: 15f6d6
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Okay, this one goes outside.

>>114025

So get your ass out there and look around.

Tell the dog to, you know, not walk forward and fall to her death.

I think if you ask nicely they might let you go home.

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)13:36 No. 114031 ID: 15f6d6
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Okay, I'm flyin around now! WOO! Where the hell am I going?

>>114031

Go investigate those lights from the background. Maybe there'll be more aboleth sex going on over there.

>>114031
Clean your freakin' crotch.

>>114033
Do that.

And for gods sake find a place to clean yourself up Jim. It looks like you got shit on your crotch area. We know what happened but other people won't know about you scoring with a blind dog with green eyes.

>>114031
actually... considering the chances of even finding a liquid with which to clean your (and her) crotch...

The only real solution is to have her lick it off... She can probably clean herself too.
We don't want the damn spacewhale finding both of you covered in... yeah...

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)14:01 No. 114049 ID: 15f6d6
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Okay I guess I could try to get her to lick it off or something but I'm already flying toward one of those portal things and there's a guy right up here. Should I try to turn around or what? I left dogtits way back there in the hivey-thing or whatever. Is it messy down there or something?

>>114049

Fly on up and perch on its horn. We need some answers, and maybe you can get some from it.

>>114049
...hmm, you should go back to get her.

>>114052

If we go get dogtits we can only glide down. We'll never be able to harass the space whale with dogtits on our back.

>>114049
Very. She's also pretty messy.

>>114053
But we can't just abandon our newly found love. The poor thing is blind and all alone in a strange place.

>>114049
It's like you had sex with a jar of mayonnaise, dude.

>>114049
if you don't get clean, and you run into that female space whale....
You're gonna be killed...
and hers...
you need that stain GONE

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)14:29 No. 114061 ID: 15f6d6
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I don't think it saw me! I flew back fast and shit!

"Yo! Sweetcheeks! There is jizz, like, everywhere! I need you to like, nuzzle my junk or something because I literally have no way to clean this shit off and it was like a horse throwing up in a cat's asshole when I blew in your junk"

>"J-jim? Where did you go? I what is happening? I-I don't understand what you're saying."

>>114061
Uhhhh
Might wanna look behind you, bro.

>>114061
Tell her to lick your junk in plainer words. Also tell that huge whale coming up from behind that you're busy and he should give you some time alone with your ladyfriend.

>>114061

Looks like somebody followed you there, Jim.

If you really want to get clean first, it may be a good idea to get dogtits' tongue working in a hurry.

Probably a better idea to go ahead and greet your visitor as-is, though. Given that you flew back with her behind you she's already seen it, and it'd be rude to keep her waiting.

>>114061
Um. The thing is fast approaching. Get close to her so that it will probably grab both of you at once.

>>114061
That was rather indelicately phrased. Also look behind you.

>>114061

Hey, you and the lady just shared an intimate moment, two kindred spirits here in the land of freaky squidwhales and skinless wonders. Show a little class and apologise, huh?

That said, right now you'd probably do better to cheese it to someplace that squidwhale behind you won't be able to follow.

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)14:57 No. 114076 ID: 15f6d6
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OH CRAP IT'S RIGHT BEHIND ME!

"Lick my crotch or we're both dead!"

OH CRAP OH CRAP! Dogtits made like, a noise or something ohshit oshit!

CRAPSHITS THE SPACEWHALE IS TALKING!

"WELL, WHERE DID YOU LITTLE FELLOWS COME FROM, AND WHAT IN THE HEAVENS IS GOING ON HERE?"

"SHITFUCK! LICK FASTER SWEETCHEEKS!"

>>114076

Explain that you're trying to get presentable, so that she doesn't kill you. You made a bit of a mess earlier.

Ask if they put somebody's mind in your head.

>>114077

This. Ask if they put some other brain in your brain, but ask it in an accusing sort of way.

>>114076
Do what the above two have said, but jeeze man you need to work on your phrasing and politeness.

>>114076

Is this even the same whalething? I'm not sure it is.

>>114081
Do that.

Also ask for some privacy. You're getting your junk licked here and you don't appreciate the audience.

>>114085

Let's not be too pushy and demanding here. Best to stay as polite as we can manage. The spacewhale isn't immediately gathering us up in her tentacles and stuffing us in some hole, and it might be nice to keep it that way.

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)15:26 No. 114099 ID: 15f6d6
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Sorry guys! Sorry! I was freaking out, OK? No, I don't think this is the same one. I think it had blue eyes or something?

"Uh I was trying to get presentable and stuff. Uh"

I whisper to dogtits "don't stop licking."

I actually don't think she's licking at all. Seriously.

"WELL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?

Okay I put on my best accusing voice.

"Listen here, you. I am getting my junk licked," (I seriously don't feel any tongue. She's, like, mumbling something into my crotch), "And I don't appreciate the audience. Also. Did you put a brain in my head? Seriously? If you did, that is totally fucked up. I am accusing you, by the way."

I am so good at this.

"OF COURSE WE DID. HOW ELSE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO STORE YOUR CONSCIOUSNESSES WHILE WE FIGURE OUT HOW TO FIX YOUR WORLD'S LITTLE PROBLEM? IT DOESN'T EXACTLY WORK, HOWEVER, SO WE ARE EXPLORING NEW METHODS CURRENTLY. LETS GO STORE YOU SOMEWHERE SAFE, OK?"

>>114099
Inquire about why the world needs fixing. And what to they mean by safe. Will you be able to stay with dogtits?

>>114099

To be honest I think we are doing OK as a crow. Flying around, finding shiny things, eating eyeballs, it's not a bad life, even without the recent addition of weird interspecies sex.

So, uh, thank the whalething for the offer but politely decline, and let's be on our way. We can ask our friend what the fuck she was doing later.

>>114099

Back up a bit further into the hole.

Explain that you think you're doing pretty okay on your own, and you'd really rather not go somewhere else at the moment.

Ask where the little balls come from.

>>114099
Tell them you were doing fine hanging around with the other crows before that other whalething abducted you. Also, the poor dog was tied up all alone, bleeding from straining against the wire she was tied to. Demand better living arrangements.

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)15:57 No. 114127 ID: 15f6d6
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Yeah, I'mma back up.

"Look, I got this shit under control. I got to stay with my honey anyway. You guys don't keep a neat nest. I saw some pretty messed up stuff. Asides, what problem are you all up on about, anyway?"

"THE PROBLEM WITH THE HUMAN DEAD COMING BACK TO LIFE. THE HUMAN SPECIES IS IN REAL DANGER OF EXTINCTION AT THIS POINT. ARE YOU BACKING AWAY FROM ME? DON'T MAKE ME COME IN THERE AFTER YOU. I'M JUST GOING TO PUT YOU SOMEWHERE NICE AND SAFE, WHERE YOU CAN'T GET INTO ANY TROUBLE."

>>114127
Ask him what they plan to do about it. Also ask him for more information about the safe place. Because honestly this extradimensional pocketspace is pretty fucked up. What with reds chained up and having their brains placed in animal bodies.

Ask him what they do with the reds bodies after they have been braintransplanted. And specifically where is your body?

>>114127
"Like where? We wanna be able to move around and have stuff to play with so we don't get bored."

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)16:32 No. 114166 ID: 15f6d6
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"So uh, where you gonna put us? Also, what's up with the red guys and the balls and stuff? What do you do with them after?"

We back up some more.

"YOU'D BETTER STOP BACKING UP LITTLE THING. YOU'RE REALLY TRYING MY PATIENCE. HOW DID YOU FIND THAT ROOM? THERE IS NO WAY THE AREA OF THE NEST YOU WERE PLACED IN SHOULD CONNECT TO THERE. WE JUST THROW THEM AWAY WHEN THEIR CONSCIOUS HAS BEEN TRANSFERRED. THEY ARE JUST LUMPS OF DEAD FLESH AT THAT POINT. NOW COME HERE."

"No, seriously where are you gonna put us? We need to be able to play and stuff. It's important."

"Hey Jim," dogtits whispers, "what on earth is going on?"

"I'LL NOT HAVE ANY MORE OF YOUR NONSENSE, YOU COME HERE RIGHT NOW!"

>>114166
Flip him the bird and tell him that you're not going anywhere until he says what's going on and were he's going to take you.

And tell dogtits to calm down. You will handle this and protect her. Just ask her to trust you on this.

If it comes to a fight you should aim for the eyes. Those very big eyes look like they could hurt alot if you peck them a bit.

>>114166
say that we'll go peacefully if dogtits is allowed to come with us... and if she's not, we're not coming

Tell him how you came from the outside through a portal and not from this place.

Sounds like they know what they're doing... Say you'll come if the dog can come too, and also ask if you can help them out with anything?

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)17:06 No. 114183 ID: 15f6d6
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"Don't worry sweetcheeks, I'll-"

Okay, maybe I should have run or something. I totally forgot how hella fast these dudes are.

"GOTCHA!

"Okay, Uh. I'll totally cooperate if you um, put us in the same place and stuff. Uh. Yeah. Also, dude, do you need any help with anything?"

"DUDE? OUR GENDERS LOOK COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! I AM A LADY YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE SHIT!"

"Sorry! Sorry! I came from outside the portal and stuff."

"OF COURSE YOU DID! DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID? I NEED TO STICK YOU SOMEWHERE. SHUT UP AND QUIT SQUIRMING. WHAT IN THE HEAVENS ARE YOU COVERED IN? IT FEELS DISGUSTING."

>>114183
you don't want the answer to that question.

>>114183
Answear that question. It's her fault for not letting you clean up. Also point out that dude is in fact genderneutral.

>>114183
"Dude can be gender neutral! As can bro! It depends on the context!"

>>114186
Indeed, it is very important that the gender neutrality of "dude" and "bro" is established.

>>114183
Tell her exactly what it is. Hopefully she will be so disgusted she'll drop you so you can run away.

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)17:34 No. 114199 ID: 15f6d6
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That is jizz. We came so hard all the fuck over the place. Just sayin'

"GAH! YOU HORRIBLE, FILTHY BEAST! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Okay, I am swooping down to grab dogtits, but where the hell should I head? This goes back into the room with the balls, and that goes into the big room with the reds and shit. I can only fly down cause I've got to nab dogtits. I need a serious plan, seriously!

"Also, Dude is totally gender neutral, for reals!"

>>114199
There were more platforms and tunnels further down in the tower room. Go in one of them.

>>114199
get dogtits,
ask this whale about another female "spacewhale" that has blue eyes...
You know, say that you're looking for her, and that she brought you here for her own reasons.

Go to the room with the balls.

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)18:11 No. 114225 ID: 15f6d6
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Okay I am going that way hardcore! The tunnels are big though. Crawling through them slows the thing down, but, like, where am I going? Back outside? The only little hole here is the one we started in, and I can't get back up to that one.

I seriously need an idea or something.

"Hey! I'm looking for one of you guys with blue eyes. It totally brought me here to begin with."

"YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Okay seriously what is the plan?

>>114225

Shout back at the spacewhale, ask what happened to that red she was carrying.

Hide in amongst the stack of reds. She can't rummage around in there too much or it might disrupt things, so it works for us.

Alternatively keep flying through the chambers until you find someplace smaller so it's harder for her to track you down.

>>114225
Hmm, if you keep going down he'll catch up and grab you before you get anywhere.

Try going in the first tunnel you get to, and find somewhere to hide.

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)18:41 No. 114247 ID: 15f6d6
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"HEY WERE YOU CARRYING A DUDE?"

"FUCKING SHIT! OH YOU SONOFABITCH YOU MADE ME DROP IT!"

Holy shit I think I distracted it or something! It totally ran right into the big thing in the middle! Oh fuckballs there is light and shit everywhere!

So uh? First tunnel or just keep flying down? I think if I basically fall as fast as I can I can go faster! It is like, seriously super pissed at this point!

"J-jim?" Oh, dogtits is talking or something "seriously can you tell me what is going on?"

>>114247

Yeah, probably best to go fast.

Tell Dogtits to hold on tight, we're running from an angry spacewhale.

>>114247
Tell her that you're being chased by one of those space-whale things that brought you here, but she's pissed as hell.

Also what's her actual name, we can't keep calling her Dogtits.

>>114247
"We're being chased by spacewhales and shit like that!"

>>114247
Tell him he should probably go back and catch it, he's doing more damage than you did anyway.

Also yes, go down fast, and tell the dog you're running from your captors.

Once you've gone down like 5 or 6 floors, slow down and land carefully on a ledge.

Yell out that they had her on a leash that was cutting into her neck, you just don't trust someone that does that to take good care of your bodies/consciousnesses.

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)19:01 No. 114273 ID: 15f6d6
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"My buddy here had her on a leash that was cutting into her neck, and I just don't trust someone that does that to take good care of bodies/consciousnesses." I shout.

It keeps bumping into the walls and the column and shit! Everything is like, shaking and stuff!

"YOU STUPID LITTLE TURD! I WILL TAKE REALLY GOOD CARE OF YOUR- OW, FUCK!"

OHGOD should I just keep going down? I don't even know if the tunnels are safe or not! She's totally still following me and like, Breathing fire?! WHAT THE FUCK!

"Hey, uh, everything is exploding and we're running for our lives. what's your name anyway?" I ask Dogtits.

"Charlotte"

"Pleased to meet you."

Yell for her to stop crashing into stuff and send someone else! You'll wait in here, but she's REALLY not inspiring confidence!

Fly up and around the pillar, try to get outside again.

>>114273
Tell her to stop chasing you before she breaks everything!

>>114273

Tell the whale that she's totally breaking stuff, and ask why she can't just let you go.

Also keep going.

>>114273

Fly away from the column. Tell the thing to stop breaking everything.

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)19:14 No. 114284 ID: 15f6d6
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"HEY, MAYBE YOU SHOULD QUIT BREAKING EVERYTHING AND JUST LET ME GO!"

"MAYBE YOU SHOULD QUIT RUNNING AND - OW! LET ME WRING YOUR -FUCK! STUPID LITTLE NECK!"

Hey! There is a hole in the bottom! I'm totally going that way!

Holy shit a helicopter!

>>114284
Holy shit!
Check out that helicopter!

Dive, motherfucker. Dive

Get a closer look at what's inside of it before trying to land on it or something.

Don't get sucked into the blades, that would be unpleasant.

>>114273
Promise you'll go with someone else. She's sorts scaring you right now, etc...

Really, going to earth now us a bad idea. People are turning into reds and ponies

>>114273
Promise you'll go with someone else. She's sorts scaring you right now, etc...

Really, going to earth now us a bad idea. People are turning into reds and ponies

>>114284

Wave to the pony.

>>114288

Actually, nevermind. Try to land on one of the runners. CAREFULLY, so you don't get sucked into the blades.

>>114284
Think you can glide into the pilot's compartment or something?

>>114295

NO.

BAD SUGGESTER.

JIM CROW IS A BIRD THAT IS A BAD SUGGESTION.

...How does a bird know what a helicopter looks like, hmm?

I guess the door probably wouldn't be open though.

>>114300

Gee, it's almost like they just hinted earlier that Jim Crow had a human intelligence transferred into a bird!

>>114302
>human intelligence
>implying Crow will fly straight into the glass

>>114305

>human intelligence
>what the fuck quest have you been reading

Ceaver 2010/01/18(Mon)19:40 No. 114309 ID: 15f6d6
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WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?

>>114309
Try and use the jizz into some sort of Jizz Beam.

>>114307
I'm saying he knows what glass IS. He has better comprehension of his environment than a normal crow!

Holy fuck where'd that fucking pony get a helicopter?

>>114309
Get into that Helicopter brave little crow!

The pony! It's not dead! Yayyy!