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File 164601074107.png - (9.14KB , 500x500 , order_up.png )
1024944 No. 1024944 ID: c92a02

Expand all images
No. 1024945 ID: c92a02
File 164601082472.png - (7.86KB , 500x500 , then.png )

Everyone you know is dead.
No. 1024946 ID: c92a02
File 164601083550.png - (6.97KB , 500x500 , and_now.png )

And now you flip burgers for stormtroopers.

What did you do to deserve this?
No. 1024947 ID: c92a02
File 164601086201.png - (10.11KB , 500x500 , now_what.png )

“-Oh, yeah, could I get extra fries with my spaceburger?”
You snap out of your daydream as the stormtrooper finishes his order. You weren’t paying attention at all. He wants a spaceburger, you guess?

>Ring up his order
>Ask him to repeat it
>Whip out your lightsaber and slice him in half
No. 1024948 ID: 8483cf

Other: Ask if he'd like to hear our specials. He'll repeat the order because who wants the double triple chalupa cheddar bantha burger anyway.
No. 1024949 ID: e51896

Yeah, go with that
No. 1024950 ID: 15a025

Yup, make sure they know about the special.
No. 1024953 ID: afe7de

Thirding this
No. 1024954 ID: 629f2e


Extra support.
No. 1024955 ID: b86b0c

reinforcements have arrived for this decision.
No. 1024956 ID: e07ed2

Repeat his order back and launch into specials.
No. 1024959 ID: 9ca76a

Does this happen whenever order 66 comes up?
No. 1024960 ID: 094652

"Okay, so that's one Spaceburger with two orders of fries... I'm sorry, can we start over?"
No. 1024961 ID: 34dfce

Ask what size for the extra fries.
No. 1024964 ID: 3328c7

Use your powers to fix the ice-cream machine, making this the most popular McQuarrie's in the outer rim!
No. 1024999 ID: 1ab60e

We weren't expecting special forces. Especially not from a veteran of the fled.
No. 1025041 ID: c92a02
File 164608857415.png - (23.75KB , 500x500 , you_want_fries_with_that.png )

They've rebranded to McEmperor’s since the uhh, merger.
And using your powers? You're trying not to draw attention to your ex-padawan status! You'd be hunted down by the Empire and killed, and probably fired, in that order!

>Recite the Litany of Specials
"Would you like to supersize that? Only five credits."
"What? Uh, just the extra-"
"How about upgrading to today's special, the Grand Moff Slam?"
What about the double triple chalupa cheddar Supreme Chancellor? Now only twenty credits for a limited time!"
"I'd really just like a Bantha Blast shake and a spaceburger please."

"And extra fries."

"Uhh. Y-yeah. and that."


You serve the trooper his order and he walks away satisfied. You think you blew a few brain cells reciting that.
No. 1025042 ID: c92a02
File 164608858037.png - (8.90KB , 500x500 , o_boy_tendies.png )

Another customer rushes in to fill the vacuum at the counter.
"Hey, can I get one order of tauntaun tendies and a diet soda? And barbeque sauce."
Ah frell. You're out of tenders right now, and more aren't due in til next week. There might be a couple that went overlooked in the back, but would they still be good to serve..?

>Apologize and offer a substitution
>Check the back again
>Mind trick them into buying something else
No. 1025043 ID: 629f2e

He asked politely, so don't serve him old food. Save that for the jerks who come in DEMANDING tendies. Apologize and offer a substitution.
No. 1025044 ID: e07ed2

Damn, not honey mustard? Savage. Tell him you're out and offer the chicken sandwich ig
No. 1025045 ID: 11f77a

You don't want to lose customers to Dexter Jettster (That's literally the slogan in the McEmperor's employee handbook). Offer a chicken sandwich and covertly slide him a coupon for a free small fries on their next order as compensation.
No. 1025048 ID: 0838d6

Do this or offer a chicken patty instead of tendies because you're out.
No. 1025062 ID: 41caaf

apologize and offer chicken nuggets instead since that kind of counts?
No. 1025066 ID: 094652

Apologize for the poultry shortage and offer a coupon for their next chicken tender purchase.

Do you have any chicken burgers? You might be able to improvise something.

Also, complain about how this job is making you hallucinate.
No. 1025084 ID: 8483cf

Check the back again. Fast food is always ready to serve. There's frighteningly little in it that can actually spoil, and even less that can't be fixed with a deep frying.
No. 1025086 ID: 96c896

Offer sub.
No. 1025112 ID: c92a02
File 164618445111.png - (8.49KB , 500x500 , dont_get_on_my_dark_side.png )

You think this used to be his place, actually. You know, until the- merger.
The current company slogan is "REFILLS! UNLIMITED REFILLS!"

>Offer a substitute
"I'm sorry, we don't have any tauntaun tenders right now."
"But... I always get tendies."
"We do have chicken sandwiches-"
"-No! Me want tendies!"
You want to say, you know they're not made with real tauntaun right? It's just chicken. But that information is deeply classified, so mum's the word.
"I'm sorry, sir. We can throw in a free side of fries with your next meal..."
You pull out your trump card: A coupon for a free small fries (with order of equal or larger fries, from participating locations, on alternating Tuesdays.)
He shakes his head. You can sense his brow furrow under the helmet. "No coupon! Only tendies."
He's not biting. How do you deal with the stormtrooper's demands?

>Throw in more free stuff
>Take it or leave it
>You know what? Fine (Go check the back)
>bifurcation is still on the table right? no? what about a mind trick
No. 1025113 ID: 96c896

Alright fine let's check the back.
No. 1025114 ID: 62b53b

Yea, check back
No. 1025116 ID: 094652

Now you get the bad batch.

"Fine! You'll even get them for free! But that means you can't sue us!"
No. 1025118 ID: 629f2e

See, now he deserves old ass shitty tendies. Go check the back, just for this awful customer.
No. 1025120 ID: bcbad6

Yep, he gets the old ones in the back now, hee hee hee hee.
No. 1025123 ID: 11f77a

damn the food truck for forgetting to deliver the damn tendies. But you gotta be nice about it to this guy so instead, yeah:

"Alright, sir. We'll check in the back but if we're out, we're out. And you'll have to order something different."
No. 1025125 ID: bb8dde

Use the Force, Jynn. Mind trick him into taking the chicken sandwich.
No. 1025130 ID: 3328c7

Allow him to look for tendies with you!
No. 1025190 ID: c92a02
File 164627246696.png - (11.32KB , 500x500 , employee_of_the_month.png )

>Search for dank nuggs
"...Fine. Wait here a minute, I'll go prepare a fresh batch."
You leave the slowly growing line of hungry customers behind and prepare for your descent into the deepest, darkest corners of the freezer. As you head through the kitchen, you pass your hardworking and reliable coworker Ju'di, who can reliably be found shirking her duties to chat on her comlink.
"Hey Ju'di, could you at least stand out front for the customers while I go get this guy's tenders?"
"Uh huh. Whatever." She definitely heard you, she just doesn't care.
This is grating enough normally, but today you're so short staffed that you're basically running the whole place yourself. How do you get her to actually do her job?
No. 1025191 ID: 96c896

Ok NOW you should use jedi mind trick.
No. 1025192 ID: afe7de

Seconded, you're in the back, it's a really easy thing to do too. BUTTTTT You've been working here a while, is there a camera in the room?
No. 1025193 ID: bc24cb

Oh, I think I maybe just saw someone who looks like a famous celebrity influencer pop star pass by outside! Maybe if she hurries she'll see them!
No. 1025194 ID: df76b1

Would Sexual Harassment solve this?
No. 1025200 ID: ce39da

Yup: "The boss will prolly yell at us if that line gets any longer while I'm back there; you don't think enduring that is worth it for more doom-scrolling, do you?" Phrased just innocently enough as a legitimate argument for her agreement to not be suspicious.
No. 1025203 ID: 3328c7

Pull her by the lekku to the front of the register and say "Do your duty to McEmperor."
No. 1025263 ID: c92a02
File 164636488689.png - (14.95KB , 500x500 , hello_anyone_in_there.png )

>Forceful persuasion
You know what, a little attitude adjustment might just benefit the both of you. You crane your neck down to look her in the eye. It takes several moments of uncomfortable staring before she looks up. Time to work the old magic...

"Ju'di, listen to me. You will do your job for once."
"...I will do my job for once."
"You will put your comlink away during shifts."
"I will put my comlink away during shifts."
"And you will stop calling me noodle arms when you think I'm not listening."
"I will stop calling you noodle arms when you're listening." Perhaps that was a bit much.

You drag your slightly dazed coworker to the counter and wish them luck. She begins taking customers' orders in a trance-like state, relieving the buildup.
You hope nobody saw you do that.
No. 1025264 ID: c92a02
File 164636489501.png - (12.79KB , 500x500 , the_bad_batch.png )

You continue to the freezer. It chills you to the bone and the handle sticks as usual, so you hasten your search.
It seems you're in luck, a half-open bag of tauntaun tenders was kicked under the shelves and forgotten! You're not exactly sure when. Oh well. Time to prepare this ungrateful fierfek's lunch.

As you dump the tenders into the deep fryer, you hear your manager call out and instinctively flinch.
"Jynn! Come to my office, please?"
You've become used to that name by now, but hearing it said out loud is almost never a good sign.
What do you say to your boss?

>Play it cool
>Whatever it was, you didn't do it
>Ask if she can hire more help
>Try to check if the security cameras caught you
No. 1025266 ID: 11eaed

Other: say you'll be right there after you get the customer his tendies. Customer is always priority.
No. 1025267 ID: ce39da

Eugh, that phrasing wasn't very subtle, young padawan.

Well, either the boss caught you, or they didn't. You play it cool for now. Considering you never got forceful with Ju'di before now, you could explain it away with a combination of stress and pile-up and Ju'di apparently being responsive to a firmer hand (as you just "discovered"). Maybe use those first two factors to segue smoothly into asking for another hire to join.
No. 1025268 ID: 094652

"Angry stormtrooper! Must feed Imperium's finest first!"
No. 1025269 ID: e07ed2

Play it cool and ask if next shipment'll have more tendies.
No. 1025288 ID: fe7daa

So what if they caught you. I mean, sure you might get reprimanded, but your forceful persuasion probably just looked like a different kind of forceful persuasion (of the intimidation variety).
No. 1025289 ID: fe7daa

May also want to tell them there is a growing line of customers and you are actively working on one.
No. 1025294 ID: c09f5e

Maybe your little stunt got you an invitation to a hidden Sith order. Terrible in the long run, but you can still dream, right?
No. 1025554 ID: 1697a9

"My service to those who serve the empire comes first."
No. 1025574 ID: f2320a

Support also the make sure the customer knows he cant sue
No. 1025580 ID: c92a02
File 164669828447.png - (12.92KB , 500x500 , what_is_your_bidding_my_manager.png )

>Play it cool
Of course. You're only screaming on the inside. And now you're worrying whether your boss is a secret Sith lord, so thanks for that.

"Uh, we've got a lot of customers out here, and I've just started this order-"
"In my office now Jynn, and hurry. Looks like Ju’di’s got it handled anyway. Huh, that’s a first." It sure is…

Your service to- nope, couldn’t say it with a straight face. You know your boss doesn’t buy into that jingoistic hokey any more than you do, and her tone brooks no further argument. You turn the deep fryer to its lowest setting and hurry over. You open the door, poker face theoretically in place. Peeking into the office of Lorge Jukash, you see her cooped up at her desk, watching a hologram of an important seeming person. She turns to look at you and knocks a knickknack over in the process. It’s a mystery to you how she puts up with this tiny space.
"Good, there you are. Oh, I just got off hold with corporate. One second."
You proceed to stand there awkwardly while she holds a conversation with an inaudible hologram.
"Yes. Uh huh. No complaints… I understand. Negative, we’re fine down here, everything’s fine. …Of course, sir. Yes, I understand the deal has been altered. Uh huh. No, it won’t be a problem sir. Uh huh.”
Lorge sits there while the hologram launches into a long monologue. She covers the projector base with a massive hand and turns to you. "Ugh, credit pinching scuzzbag. -Right, you’re still here. I just wanted to tell you the delivery bot is on the fritz again. I need you to go back there and fix it soon, okay? Thanks."
You nod and close the door behind you. Well, that wasn’t as bad as you feared. Oh, the tenders are still going. You fish those out and set them on the rack to cool.

>Head to the droid bay
>Head to the front
>Head for the exit
No. 1025581 ID: ce39da

Ju'di should be handling it; head to the droid bay.
No. 1025583 ID: 094652

Package the tenders immediately and give them to the stormtrooper. Warn him that you didn't let them cool because he wanted a rush job. Then tell the rest of the customers that business has to slow down due to a maintenance accident, and head straight to the droid bay.
No. 1025584 ID: 2aa5f0

how long does it take to make the tenders? Cause if Ju can actually take care of the front then just let her know the tenders are close to being done and the boss called you to fix the delivery droid... again.
No. 1025608 ID: e51896

We were told to get it done soon instead of now. So lets get those tenders to the customer, and then head off to fix the droid.
No. 1025609 ID: df76b1

This here is damn smooth
No. 1025612 ID: 93ba79

Tell Ju'di about the tenders and head to the droid bay.
No. 1025673 ID: c92a02
File 164678411515.png - (10.35KB , 500x500 , the_droid_youre_looking_for.png )

>Tendies above all
Of course, you can't forget to deliver these overripe chicken fingers to their needy consumer. You package it up with the rest of his meal and complete the transaction up front. Ju'di has come to her senses and is unsure of how she got up here, but unable to back out in the middle of serving someone so she begrudgingly performs her job. You give her a thumbs up as you leave. She gives you a death glare.

You head to the back room where the delivery droid, FLO, stands in her charging station. She's seen better days, unfortunately. Running deliveries through the less pleasant neighborhoods of Coruscant hasn't treated her as well as serving tables.
You're not a certified mechanic, but this place couldn't afford one anyway. You have a box of spare parts and a very limited time to troubleshoot which bits of deferred maintenance have finally come due.
Choose two systems to repair. You can choose to jury rig a replacement for a third system, or rely on the worn out originals to hold out a little longer.
>Bad motivator
>Squeaky wheel
>Garbled vocoder
>Glitchy customer database
>Busted samoflange
No. 1025678 ID: 629f2e

The Garbled Vocoder and Glitchy Customer Database seem like the most important. Start with those, and see if you can jury rig a fix for the Bad Motivator.
No. 1025679 ID: 96c896

Fix the customer database, and the samoflange.
Try jury rigging the motivator.
No. 1025680 ID: 2aa5f0

fix the motivator and customer database, jerry rig the vocoder
No. 1025689 ID: ce39da

The bad motivator and squeaky wheel would render her incapable of doing her job or coming back for more repairs if either part breaks down completely.

If there's no risk for Flo by attempting one, try to patch up her glitchy customer database. That would be the third thing that could plausibly prevent her from completing her job outright. If there is a risk of making things worse, don't try it.
No. 1025690 ID: 894419

No. 1025702 ID: 11f77a

I would vote bad motivator and glitchy customer database. They deliver, not make chit-chat for a vocoder. Need to make sure they got the order right and have the motive to get out there.

And jury rig the busted samoflange. I have no idea what it is but sounds important enough. Not your problem if McEs constantly supply broken milkshake machin--I-I-I mean delivery droids to their restaurants
No. 1025703 ID: e51896

No. 1025711 ID: 1697a9

I don't give a shit.
No. 1025786 ID: 736076

No. 1025787 ID: c92a02
File 164687904108.png - (10.12KB , 500x500 , samo_what_now.png )

>Repair: Database, motivator
You get to work immediately, initiating a full reboot of FLO's cogitators and defragmenting the customer registry so she knows who to deliver to and what to give them. While that's running, you find the source of the acrid black smoke and toss it out. A motivator is a volatile part, and quite essential, or so you're told. You install a replacement as the reboot finishes, wincing at the grating buzz that comes out of her damaged voicebox.
"WELCOME TO- Oh-h-h-h-hey Jynn! Thanks for patching me up. How's it going on the diner floor today?"
"Oh, it's... um, it's going. H-hold on, I missed a spot." You attempt to press her eye back into the socket and tighten it in.
"Ahh, much bebebetter, hon. That was my good eye."

>Jury rig: Samoflange
As you rummage around the toolbox for a plasma screwdriver, you come across a strange, shiny component. You turn it over in your hand, wondering what it does. FLO seems to recognize whatever it is.
"Ah, I've been saving that for a rainy day. They don't make this pa-a-art anymore... Just openopenopen up my back and slot it in, will you hon?"
Sure, you guess? Must do something important. You think you see a matching part in there, you just have to take this thing out and... which way did it go in? Oh well, you're pretty sure it fits this way... You wish they'd kept the instruction manual for this droid. The back panel clicks into place and you wipe your hands of the multiple types of grease they have accumulated.
"Well, that should be enough for you to go on your run today."
"Ah sprockets, my run! I'm terribly late already! IiiII'm on my way." She rushes out of her charging station to grab a delivery box, her squeaky wheel protesting with an obnoxiously loud noise every time it rotates. The sound and your headache recedes as FLO heads out on her route. Whatever. It's probably fine. Back to work.
No. 1025788 ID: c92a02
File 164687905971.png - (12.16KB , 500x500 , officer_of_the_paw.png )

Back at the counter, the lunch rush is going strong. Other species have started coming in, having learned to avoid the initial rush of troopers. A large, bushy feline alien strides toward the counter in a high ranking officer's garb. He's a Farghul if you're not mistaken, no doubt a very cunning one to have risen this high in the human-centric structure of the Empire.
He clears his throat before speaking. "Hello. I would like to get one spaceburger. ...And a cup of ice water. And, while I'm here, could I get a kid's meal toy? It's, for my sister. Who is not here at the moment."
Uh huh. Sure it is. He must have been practicing that one before he walked in.
Which toy do you give him?
>Kung-fu Action Senator Binks
>B-K Battle Droid
>Baby Yoda Bobblehead
>Baby Hutt backpack
>Collectible Darth Vader figurine (sold out)
No. 1025789 ID: 629f2e

Give him the bobblehead.
No. 1025791 ID: e07ed2

B-K of course.
No. 1025792 ID: decfef

For a sister, huh? Baby Yoda.
No. 1025795 ID: 764aca

Why not ask which one he wants?
B-K battledroid.
No. 1025802 ID: ce39da

"If it's the collectible Darth Vader figurine she's after, I'm afraid we're out." Give him an out if he's not interested in the regular toys.

If he doubles down, go ahead and give him the bobblehead, just in case he's telling the truth.
No. 1025843 ID: 34dfce

Seconding this
No. 1025869 ID: c92a02
File 164695463848.png - (10.50KB , 500x500 , glup_shitto.png )

>Yoda bobblehead
You get a pretty solid feeling he’s fishing for one toy in particular. You decide to let him down gently.
"If it's the collectible Darth Vader figurine she's after, I'm afraid we're out..."
His face falls into a scowl immediately. “That is unfortunate. She- likes that one very much. No matter, anything will do.”
Anything, huh… Some of this junk is still kicking around from long gone promotions, might as well get rid of it first. You pass him a toy replica of a little green guy with big ears and a bigger head. It doesn’t look much like him - not that you’d know anything about that.
He takes the kitsch and studies it intently. “These eyes… They speak to me. Thank you for this, minimum wage laborer.”
“Huh? Uhh, you’re welcome, I guess.” You hurry this weird guy’s order along and he leaves, still fascinated by his toy.
No. 1025870 ID: c92a02
File 164695464354.png - (10.42KB , 500x500 , oh_really.png )

Now a stormtrooper walks up from one of the tables and tries to get your attention.
“This music's getting a little stale. Could you switch the radio to something else?”
Oh buddy, you’d love to. Unfortunately, radio stations in this galaxy only seem to play the SAME two damn songs, give or take, over and over. You promise to ‘see what you can do’.
The radio is currently playing the cantina theme.
>Play the Imperial march
>Play the cantina theme but jaunty
>Play the Imperial march but jaunty
>Turn it off
No. 1025871 ID: 96c896

Imperial March but jaunty.
No. 1025872 ID: 629f2e

Play a jaunty Imperial March!
No. 1025873 ID: 894419

Put the imperial march into a major key
No. 1025891 ID: 7d55e2

Jaunty imperial march.

I mean you did say the non-stormtroopers tend to avoid the actual stormtroopers and since the stormtroopers seem to be sticking around I doubt anyone else will so best play up to our audience.
No. 1025960 ID: c92a02
File 164704098997.png - (9.55KB , 500x500 , tally_ho.png )

It’s hard to completely avoid the Empire anywhere, especially here.

>The Imperial March, but jaunty
You flip through channels. March. Cantina. March. Cantina again. More march… Cantina music but at a different timestamp… Oh, you haven’t heard the march played this way before. It’s sickeningly patriotic, but at least it’s got pizazz. The Imperials in the restaurant start nodding their heads to the beat.

Time passes. The faces of customers start to blend together. Ju’di wanders off again to “check inventory.” Eventually, an older gentleman steps up to the counter.
“Spiffing afternoon, dear! One tea, piping hot, and some milk to go with it.”
“Coming right up.”
You manage to pour some tea without spilling any burning hot liquid on yourself. You reach for a carton of blue milk to go with it when you notice something on the side…
No. 1025961 ID: c92a02
File 164704099571.png - (11.86KB , 500x500 , ive_got_a_bad_feeling_about_this.png )

>Please suggest an action.
No. 1025963 ID: 629f2e

Deliberately spill a bit of tea on the carton to smudge the image and make it impossible to recognize. Be sure to alter other cartons containing the same picture at any opportunity you can find.
No. 1025964 ID: e07ed2

What, are you the last of your species or something? You've grown up, just say you're some other rando and that you were born on Aldebaraan or something if people question your lack of records.
No. 1025965 ID: 96c896

Serve tea, tell co-worker you're going to the toilet, then fucking leg it.
No. 1025966 ID: ad8148

Quickly fashion a disguise using bacon, some bacon grease, and a disguise.
No. 1025967 ID: 6dd64f

Take refuge in audacity.

"Hey, look, one of my species is about to get the Traitor Treatment, haha. Small Galaxy, isn't it?"
No. 1025968 ID: d9495a

Pour milk into a to-go cup and hand it to him. Keep carton.
No. 1025969 ID: 094652

Reminisce about how Skywalker tortured you by literally Forcing you to murder some of the other kids, only to spare your miserable hide at the very end. Something about seeing "a glint of freedom in your fingertips".

Then claim the carton is expired and that you'll take some time to find a safe carton, taking the tea back so you can pour discretely.
No. 1025981 ID: 2aa5f0

is that you? It looks like that person has blond hair not brown.
No. 1025982 ID: 3aa06e

Put the milk carton back, audibly mutter a comment about your co-worker's in stock needing glasses because this milk is clearly expired. Play it cool, your shocked expression is not from seeing your very own wanted poster on the carton, it's definitely from almost giving a customer food poisoning. Get a new carton. Preferably one that doesn't have your face on it, while keeping the "expired" one close to you so that you can dispose of it later.
No. 1025983 ID: f2320a

Literally just any fucking member of our species the hair color is even diffrent so no worry other then even more racism against you
No. 1025984 ID: 34dfce

If they say it looks like you, just call them a racist.
No. 1026250 ID: c92a02
File 164729632873.png - (9.67KB , 500x500 , mustachio.png )

It's definitely you! The nose, the cheekbones, the eyes have it with their youthful optimism, long since gone. You've changed your hair since then, but is it really enough?

>Bait and switch
You try and spill some tea to smudge it, but it's not coming off. The officer hems sternly at your clumsiness. You need a different tactic...
"Ehehehe, whoops! This milk's expired! I'll just go replace this while my coworker helps you..." You step off to the side and hastily don your emergency disguise.
Moments later, your replacement arrives. "Uhh, hey-a, how you doin’ today? One-a tea and some milk, uh coming up."
You Your coworker selects a replacement milk from the fridge. Your face is on dozens of these... Not good. For now, you grab one featuring some other unfortunate soul.
"Uh, right, here you are then! That's a gonna be, five credits."
"Right, indeed! That was much better service than the last clumsy fellow. And might I add, that is an impeccable mustache."
"Yyeeah, uh, yes sir! Thank you a-very much!"

Is this… actually working?
No. 1026251 ID: c92a02
File 164729633359.png - (10.55KB , 500x500 , wait_a_second.png )

As he turns to leave, he stops and looks again.
"I say, just a minute now..."
Uh oh.

>We’ve been made
>Go for a pre-emptive strike
No. 1026257 ID: 9ca76a

Quick, tell him you don't speak imperial!
No. 1026261 ID: af3db9

Panic, yes?
No. 1026262 ID: decfef

Look it's fine these imperials are all bigots and can't tell you apart anyway. Believe! Believe in the power of racism!
No. 1026281 ID: f2320a

No. 1026295 ID: df76b1

Premptively declare that you know you lost your facial hairnet.

But good service comes first!
No. 1026358 ID: c92a02
File 164738644890.png - (10.63KB , 500x500 , false_alarm.png )

Just you are about to freak the frell out, he finishes his thought.
"...I didn't know Kaminoans could grow facial hair!"
"Oh- uhh, I'm a q- xexto actually! S-sir."
"Oh, beg pardon! My mistake. Carry on, then!" He turns and departs the restaurant.
You try to sigh with relief, but it comes out as a faint wheeze.
No. 1026359 ID: c92a02
File 164738646980.png - (10.62KB , 500x500 , ol_scruffy.png )

With disaster averted, you continue to work the till, hoping nobody asks about the mustache. They never do, but surely, someone can see the ridiculousness of this getup?
A Wookiee is next in line. You're not sure how he can see at all.

"Grrrraagh. Hraaaawr."

Oh, there's just one problem... You don't speak Wookiee.

>Attempt to explain you only speak Basic
>Attempt pantomime
>Ask the manager for help
No. 1026360 ID: e07ed2

Just apologize, list your items in order of popularity and have him nod when you have something he wants.
No. 1026362 ID: a13621

I'm sorry, please write your order in Galactic Basic. Here.

Hand him pen and paper.
No. 1026364 ID: 629f2e

Communicate via images. Have him draw his order on a napkin, and go off of that. If he's just ordering for himself, you could probably draw the ingredients if he's ordering a burger of some sort to make sure you're getting him the right one.
No. 1026368 ID: 6c227a

don't you have numbered combos? have him hold up fingers
No. 1026370 ID: 2aa5f0

Apologize and say you don't speak wookie but if they can kindly point to what they want on the menu you'll gladly make it for them. If they want something a bit more complicated (like a special order or something not on the menu you can give them a pen and a napkin to write out what they want. And then apologize again for the inconvenience.
No. 1026372 ID: df76b1

I'm fluent in wookie, and he's asking for a vanilla shake and your number.
No. 1026397 ID: 708905

Just get ?him (how do you tell a wookies gnder?) to point at what ?he wants
No. 1026451 ID: c92a02
File 164748654085.png - (12.83KB , 500x500 , get_to_the_point.png )

Hand him what?
He's not your type, you're not into hairy guys.
>Point and click
You stammer out an apology for your lack of basic Shyriwook literacy. "I can just... I'll point at the menu, and you say when, okay?"
You shrug and start pointing to the spaceburger and fries.
"Ook." Was that yes, or no?
As you run down the list, the noises get increasingly frustrated. The last thing you want in your establishment right now is an angry Wookiee. Finally, as you run halfway through the menu, he makes a different noise. "Ah-oo-gah?"
"A chicken sandwich? With- the usual?"
"Ooooah. Rrrrgh!" He points at the same thing you're pointing at... you think? Maybe the one to the left? No, there's no time for second guesses, this has already taken too long!
This would be so much easier if you had some way to trade printed words back and forth, like a disposable datapad of some sort...
“No fries then? No drink?” He points behind you at the ice cream machine, you think. "Shake?"
So, chicken sandwich, fries and shake. Probably. Best to leave it at that. At long last, you serve his food and he goes off to sit down. You see him unwrap the chicken sandwich and put his head in his hands.

No. 1026452 ID: c92a02
File 164748654989.png - (10.07KB , 500x500 , oh_no_hes_hot.png )

You wonder how it could get much worse today.
Oh? Never mind that, he's back! A man in shiny armor, and you mean much shinier than the plastic army men, comes in the door. A real Mandalorian! He's been through here a couple times this week. So cool. So mysterious. You remember to curb your enthusiasm as he strides up to you.
"H-hey, how can I help you?"
"One burger. Hot." Ah, a man of few words.

>overt flirt
>respect his personal boundaries
>ask about his job
>give the strong silent treatment
>ask where to get one of those helmets
No. 1026454 ID: 629f2e

Ask about where to get that style of helmet. It's an appropriate level of small talk, not too personal but fills the time.
No. 1026455 ID: e51896

flirt with him
but then remember you're wearing a mustache.
great, now you'll have to wear the mustache whenever you want to flirt/date with him again.
No. 1026456 ID: 96c896

Overt flirt. But make sure to get his order.
No. 1026458 ID: decfef

Take his order professionally and ask if he speaks wookie. Learn more about him and show off your desire to serve your duty as well as you can, focused at another customer so he'll think you're just generally virtuous! Then he'll have a little anecdote to remember you by. Uh. Hm, if only you weren't wearing that mustache.
No. 1026468 ID: df76b1

...How do all these leaves keep getting in here?
No. 1026475 ID: 2aa5f0

ah crap did someone jam the door open again?
No. 1026536 ID: c92a02
File 164757261298.png - (10.10KB , 500x500 , are_you_an_angel.png )

Hey, people can shave their facial hair or change their identity to avoid capture sometimes! You have a point, though, mustache away.
You hear it's one of the inherent qualities of mandalorians: eats, shoots, leaves. Or something like that. It was probably just stuck to his cape.

>Overt flirt
You decide to put the moves on, but how to begin? How about a side of me to go- no. You look like more mandle than I can handle - No way, he’ll think you’re calling him fat! Focus.
"Hey there. So... come here often?"
"I guess."
"Uh huh. Right, um. I like your armor. It's pretty metal." He gives the slightest hint of a nod. "I bet you could use an extra hand polishing it to be so shiny... or four." You wiggle your fourfold appendages.
"I've got it handled."
"Oh. O-of course. Well- is that a jetpack on your back, or are you just happy to see me?"
"...It's a jetpack."
Wow, way to crash and burn, Jynn. Time to change the subject.
"So, what do you have to do to get one of those chrome domes anyway?"
"Become orphaned and get adopted into the culture."
"Oh." Your parents aren’t dead, but you think it still counts, kind of!

By now his order is ready. Well, there's always next time.
No. 1026537 ID: c92a02
File 164757265070.png - (10.38KB , 500x500 , ninja_tricks.png )

"Well, here's your spaceburger."
Your eyes follow him to the booth where he sits. The bounty hunter takes the burger and shoves it into his face without removing his helmet, somehow. Ketchup splatters everywhere.

So mysterious.


You're brought out of your reverie by Ju'di. "Hey Jynn, there's some kind of issue in the refresher. Just thought you should know."
No. 1026541 ID: e07ed2

What issue.
No. 1026542 ID: 96c896

Oh great time to clean the toilet.
No. 1026549 ID: e51896

Wait, what if we leave Ju'di alone here while we fix the refresher, and she looks at the milk cartons and see's us on the carton if someone asks for milk?

umm... tell her we'll put an out of order sign at the refresher room, along with a sign at the front door saying refresher is broken today, and call a plumber later. Simple!
No. 1026632 ID: c92a02
File 164765135127.png - (6.00KB , 500x500 , dont_go_in_the_water_closet.png )

"What issue."
"I dunno. I went to go use it and turned around when the smell hit me. I'm going on break." She leaves, not caring to elaborate.

You go see what the 'issue' is. Before you even make it to the door you can spot a trail of slime leading all the way to the likely culprit, some sluglike alien making a hasty exit from the diner. Eugh. You grab the mop and bucket. Inside, what awaits you is…

By the Force, it's everywhere. The floor, the stalls, the ceiling...
No. 1026634 ID: c92a02
File 164765139470.png - (14.46KB , 500x500 , her_smile_and_optimism_gone.png )

You feel strongly tempted to quit on the spot.

>Don't quit
> -How much time/effort do you put into cleaning up?
> -You've had just about enough of this.
No. 1026635 ID: e07ed2

Well at least it's not puke or shit, so it's pretty whatever really. Don't quit, it's just a bit of slime and while you're doing this you're safe from the rest of your job.
No. 1026637 ID: 094652

Immediately stomp into your manager's room and demand a professional to clean up this hazard spill. That, or a raise.
You are not going to wade in what may well be Imperial Secret Service Superweapons Testing Fluid for minimum wage. Hell, you'd rather be a beggar than wade in thermonuclear waste!
No. 1026638 ID: e5f800

This. Threaten to quit if you dont get it. mention your partner took a break too, leaving no one at the cash register, and you cant do this.

If nothing comes of it, quit. After all, your face is on the milk carton, you're just a sitting duck now. Sooner or later (more likely sooner) you're gonna get captured and killed. More likely sooner. Best to go on the lam.
No. 1026639 ID: 629f2e

Yeah no, you're not cleaning this shit.

Let your manager know that straight up he needs to get a team to deal with this, or he's about to be down his only competent employee.
No. 1026655 ID: fec07f

Yeah supporting this
No. 1026667 ID: 580aa8

oh my
No. 1026693 ID: 1c6255

Cleanse it with fire.
No. 1026709 ID: 25be00

Close your eyes. Feel the Force coursing through you. Picture the slime lifting off the floor, the walls, the ceiling. Picture it coalesing into a sphere of goop, to tossed and flushed down the toilet. There is no try, only do-do
No. 1026717 ID: 34dfce

Go to the manager and tell them that Ju'di went on break and there is a disaster in the refresher that you need to clean up, so they need to man the register.

Grab some napkins and some perfume/incense/deodorant/something with a strong, palatable smell and put it on the napkins. Use one hand to hold that over your olfactory sensory organ(s). Then clean up the mess.
No. 1026744 ID: 93181a

Definitely this
No. 1026895 ID: c92a02
File 164790688217.png - (12.18KB , 500x500 , wait_dont_leave_me_here.png )

>Close your eyes
>you can't do this
>Cleanse it with fire
>you'd rather be a beggar
>There is no try, only do-do
>You're just a sitting duck

...That's it.

You've had enough of this ridiculousness. All day you get harassed, harried, and forced to do all the work, and for whose benefit? It's a thankless task. No thanks! You're taking your mop and going home.
On your way out, you brush past Lorge, who's shocked by your exit.
"Wait! Come back! Please, you're my only competent employee!"
"Was your only competent employee," you correct her. Hm. Feels good to talk back for once.
No. 1026896 ID: c92a02
File 164790692108.png - (10.49KB , 500x500 , i_walk_a_lonely_road.png )

Before you go home, you take a walk around the city to clear your head. What are you going to do now? You've got no job, barely any funds, and you certainly won't be welcome back at McE's. Ideally, you'd buy a ticket off this planet, but even if you could afford one you'd have to show ID. To get around that takes even more money.
What can you do to earn that cash? Become a mercenary? No, too risky. A dancer? Forget it. Your driving skills are okay, you suppose... Is that really it?

>Ponder your career options.
No. 1026897 ID: d9495a

Any good at mind control hand waving?
No. 1026898 ID: 8483cf

We could become a carnival attraction, the amazing master of hypnotism!
No. 1026899 ID: bc24cb

Driving sounds like a great opportunity to get hired for dangerous jobs!
No. 1026900 ID: 094652

Join the Resistance?

I mean, at this rate, you're going to lose control of your psionics. Even these imperial dimwits will figure it out. If you pretend you care about the return of the Jedi (and let's face it, after what Skywalker accidentally forced you to witness, screw them like the Sith), they'll pamper you and simp you and get you a ticket off this rock so you can train new padawans - and then you jump ship with a small crew to get away from this monstrous cosmic madness that is interplanetary war for the greater purpose of mind-weaving conflict.
No. 1026902 ID: 2aa5f0

become a smuggler... or at least see if you can't work with one. I mean you're already wanted so traveling with people who are probably also wanted but really good at avoiding the empire's hounds could be a very viable life skill to have in these dark times.
No. 1026911 ID: df6ff0


No. 1026912 ID: decfef

If you're going to be constantly watching your back for the authorities and needing to keep a low profile anyway, why not become some sorta crime person? Maybe put some of that fancy ol' jedi training to use. Jumping a lot, floating things into your hand, mind controlling people. Just spread a bit of the wealth to the unfortunate now and then and your conscience will be fine.
No. 1026923 ID: df76b1

Taxi Driver, with an eye towards smuggling and contraband.

boring main gig, lucrative side gig!
No. 1026960 ID: 34dfce

Go look for Cal Kestis. Probably could help you out with shit.
No. 1026969 ID: c92a02
File 164799170269.png - (8.45KB , 500x500 , double_hmm.png )

>Any good at mind control hand waving?
Well, it's worked once so far, but you can't go waving that in everyone's face or the Empire will take notice.
>We could become a carnival attraction, the amazing master of hypnotism!
If only the carnival was in town...

>Driving sounds like a great opportunity to get hired for dangerous jobs!
You're not a big fan of danger after it's tried to kill you so many times! Hopefully the most danger you'd face would be rush hour traffic.

>Become a smuggler...
Maybe. It seems like a tricky business to get into if you don't know people already, though.

>look for Cal Kestis
Cal? Cal... The names rings a bell, faintly. You wonder how he's doing. Probably dead.

>Bounty. Hunter.
That's just a mercenary with a cool helmet! ...You wonder if that mandalorian is hiring interns.

>Taxi driver
>with an eye towards smuggling and contraband
Well, if it's lucrative-!

Your thoughts are interrupted by a distant explosion, followed by a low roar.

>Run away from the noise
>Hide in place
>Run towards the noise
No. 1026970 ID: e51896

Hide, and spy. Who knows, maybe it's a job opportunity?
Don mustache too! Added disguise is good just in case
No. 1026971 ID: d9495a

Go get a look at it anyways.
No. 1026972 ID: bc24cb

Running away might make people think it's your fault. Cover in place.
No. 1026973 ID: 2aa5f0

do what the crowd does.
No. 1027086 ID: c92a02
File 164807776907.png - (12.44KB , 500x500 , blending_right_in.png )

>Hide and camouflage
Whatever it was, you didn't do it, and you don't want anyone getting the idea that you did! You find an unassuming spot and blend in.

The commotion seems to be getting closer. Pretty soon it'll pass you by.
There's a rumbling sound, like a cascade of collapsing rubble, and you're starting to get worried. The screams of panicked bystanders echo down the street. A couple run past but don’t notice you, far more concerned with whatever they’re running from.
Then you hear the roar again, like some sort of huge, angry beast.
No. 1027087 ID: c92a02
File 164807777374.png - (14.02KB , 500x500 , technically_not_godzilla.png )

Emperor's new clothes, It WAS a huge, angry beast! A three-armed lizard the size of a tall building rises from the undercity. It looks like some kind of giant angry spaghetti monster whose order you got wrong.
The enormous, wiry creature clambers down the street, swinging its tail into buildings and swatting speeders from the sky! You vaguely recall seeing it before, on the news some years ago. How did it come back? What does it want? How didn't anyone notice sooner?
The only thing you do know, is staying here might have been a really bad idea!
No. 1027089 ID: 96c896

Can you use the Force to calm it the fuck down? While wearing a better disguise? One that covers your whole body, perhaps.
No. 1027090 ID: d9495a

Beasts are dumb. See if you can handwave it into the stormtrooper headquarters.
No. 1027092 ID: 894419

Quickly, now is your chance to provoke it into destroying McEmperors and gaining the catharsis of completely obliterating that minimum wage shit hole for all the years of humiliation you've had to deal with!

And if your lucky maybe you can pick the register out of wreckage and make a buck too!
No. 1027094 ID: 9ab9f7

Are there any nearby alleyways, that's gotta be the safest place, surely? Assuming this beast decides to take the path of least resistance and not just smash through everything that is.
No. 1027102 ID: bc24cb

Fight it! Expose your secret to save the city and be the hero! And immediately be captured afterwards.
Nevermind, get out of there!
No. 1027113 ID: fb7f57

Force choke the creature.
Give in to your rage.
Remember that festering bathroom.
No. 1027115 ID: 284627

Escape into the subway, it’s to big to fit down there.
No. 1027130 ID: df76b1

Are we really this petty and vindictive? Are we going to be tempted to the dark side over a filthy bathroom?

Fuck yes we are, let's do this.
No. 1027143 ID: 9ca76a

Oooh, you're right next to a pizza place. Get some pizza!
No. 1027173 ID: 580aa8

If you find a better disguise and a plausible excuse for hiw you did it I vote calming it down with jedy magic
No. 1027182 ID: fec07f

Just gtfo
No. 1027219 ID: c92a02
File 164816436973.png - (12.96KB , 500x500 , not_as_planned.png )

>Force or flight
Every instinct you have is screaming to run away, but maybe, just maybe you can calm the beast down. You just have to be brave. You put your hand out and concentrate. You reach out to this monster's mind and search its feelings…
You gasp. The sheer scale of its fury sends you staggering backwards. Whoever said 'size matters not' must never have stared into angry green eyes as big as themselves! You decide that putting as much of Coruscant as possible between you and that thing is the better course of action.
You start sprinting back to the diner, but its limbs overtake you! The street beneath you is smashed in half, sending you flying into the air. You flail around, trying to grab ahold of something before plummeting to the ground. Luckily, your fall is broken by the passing of a well timed truck!
Unfortunately, the truck is transporting a toxic green sludge in open-topped vats. You hit the surface with a splat and sink in. You suddenly feel very strange...
No. 1027220 ID: c92a02
File 164816437260.png - (13.76KB , 500x500 , maybe_size_does_matter.png )

The vat around you bursts open as you suddenly find yourself growing to great size. Must have been some powerful stuff you fell in! You hop off the rapidly shrinking truck bed and are surprised to find the ground not too far away. The feeling of vertigo increases from the sight of people below running away from you too now, and the speeders flying past your face. Hiding is going to be pretty difficult now, but at the moment you have much more immediate problems.
The creature hasn't noticed it has company yet. Better have a plan to deal with it before it turns around.
No. 1027221 ID: 96c896

Look for something big and pointy. Backstab it. Then tell it to git gud scrub.
No. 1027224 ID: 961cf1

Ignore monster and go stomp on the stormtroper barracks. Maybe if you look angry enough the monster will help.
No. 1027226 ID: e51896

The monster is probably hungry

Pick up a vat of sludge or two, pour it all over the place you used to work, then make it a giant meal to calm it down!
No. 1027227 ID: 9a2966

Okay, so you're dreaming. You fell asleep in the back room after trying to scour and repair the bathroom disaster for four - friggin' FOUR - hours and completely exhausting yourself. You never managed to say 'I quit' to your boss, that was just wishful dreaming.

And this beast is just your inner consciousness' rage at the unfairness of it all and your sudden gigantification a subconscious hint that you should take sudden advantages and opportunities when they fall in your lap, no matter how unlikely they seem.

(this is a good story to tell yourself as you ready yourself for a fight)

Now go tickle or haymaker that there beast or something. Grab its by its tail and do a Mario-Bowser spinthrow! Right into the lake at the public parklands!
No. 1027228 ID: 10a721

See that imperial command post over there?
Rip it off and hit the monster with it like a cinderblock two-by-four!
No. 1027229 ID: 094652

This, but ignore the monster and CRUSH ALL IMPERIAL FORCES WHILE YOU STILL CAN! Retake this planet from the Empire and then destroy some extra infrastructure and a McEmperor's conveniently in the way so they'll never want it back! What are they going to do, spend quadrillions of credits to raze a ruined no-man's planet with no strategic value whatsoever?!

Laugh manically! Even in your wildest nightmares, the Empire wouldn't be stupid enough to strike back at two giant monsters! Hell, even an army of Sith couldn't stop this fat butt, what could the Empire possibly come up with?!
No. 1027261 ID: 1c6255

Judo-flip the beast onto the Emperor's palace.
No. 1027417 ID: 708905

Are we sure this isn't a dream? Did the fumes of the mess cause us to pass out and hallucinate all this?
No. 1027533 ID: c92a02
File 164850299715.png - (13.03KB , 500x500 , health_inspector_be_damned.png )

>Make food, not war
A crazy idea comes to you. What if the beast is just hungry? Nobody's happy when they're hungry. But what's big enough to feed it?
Hmm... If it worked on you, it should work on others, right? You pluck a vat off the back of the truck you just fell into and take two and a half steps back to the diner. You tear off the roof, to the shock of the people inside. You give a brief wave to your coworkers before you dump half a ton of radioactive, toxic waste all over them and the kitchen. Just as you thought, all the meat products are enlarged, still hot off the grill. You crack a (relatively) small smile at the audacity of your plan.
"Why did you do that?" asks a colossal, glowing Lorge.
"To save the city," you reply as you spread every single condiment you can find over a record-breaking patty.
You take a deep breath and try to get the monster's attention. "Hey, big guy! You hungry?"
It stops and turns toward you, sniffing the air. You brace yourself as it leans in, jaws open wide... For a bite of extra-extra-large spaceburger. The savory, phosphorescent taste of defrosted beef has won over another customer!
You let out the breath you were holding and steady yourself against the Coruscant skyline. Maybe you can finally take a five-minute break.
No. 1027534 ID: c92a02
File 164850300014.png - (10.58KB , 500x500 , some_cranky_old_man.png )

Just when you think you've restored peace to the city, the Empire shows up to ruin the party. The regional manager of McEmperor's, aka. Palpatine, aka. the Big McE himself shows up to yell at you.
"What is the meaning of this? You can't just give free food away like that! You're fired!"
"I don't even work for you anymore. I quit."
"You can't quit without giving two weeks' notice, either! I own you, Tala - You can never escape this chain!"
How did he know your real name… Whatever - how do you get this guy off your back - er, you mean deal with the Emperor.
No. 1027535 ID: 346b9d

Give them 1 giant Galactic Credit to pay for the meal.

If it's giant, i's gotta be worth more, right?
No. 1027536 ID: e07ed2

"Ok I'm fired, have fun paying my unemployment"
No. 1027537 ID: 580aa8

show him your unlimited power and punch him off the planet!
No. 1027539 ID: f38941

Call for emergency popular elections!

Who does people prefer? Creepy totalitarian old guy or giant alien girl with giant burgers?
No. 1027540 ID: 961cf1

Shout "Look agiant taco!"
No. 1027582 ID: 9ca76a


No. 1027687 ID: c92a02
File 164868168086.png - (8.62KB , 500x500 , palpatines_blasting_off_again.png )

"Forget it. I don't have to listen to old men in flying tacos. In fact, does anyone actually like this guy? Show of hands. Who do you like more, the lady that just saved the city, or this guy?"
Judi raises her hand for you. Palpatine votes for himself, of course. You give yourself four votes. Lorge and the masses of fleeing citizens abstain.
"Bah. I hate democracy," says Palpatine. "Stormtroopers! Blast this woman! She's the size of my palace, it'd be impossible for all of you to miss!" Tiny red bolts fill the sky, doing their darnedest to prove him wrong.
"Okay, that's enough of that." You backhand the Emperor into orbit. Looking up, you track his progress out of the atmosphere. That old man can really spin!
No. 1027688 ID: c92a02
File 164868168808.png - (12.08KB , 500x500 , nothing_could_possibly_diminish_this_triumph.png )

With their leader out of the way, puny stormtroopers are no match for you, your coworkers, and a surprisingly friendly space noodle monster. Well, you've done it! The day is saved, and the people are cheering for you! Best of all, you don't have to go into work tomorrow!
Ju'di throws herself into your embrace. “You did it, Jynn! You saved us all from that giant monster!”
Lorge leads everyone in cheering your name. "Finally, I don't have to work at that awful place anymore! Let's hear it for Jynn! Jynn! Jynn!"
Jynn! Jynn! Jynn...
No. 1027689 ID: c92a02
File 164868169215.png - (12.08KB , 500x500 , do_you_know_where_that_mops_been.png )

“'Jynn? ...Jynn? ...Jynn? Wake up.”
“Huh- wha?” You blink and realize the mop is not hugging you back. Lorge is looking over you with a concerned expression. You're standing in the refresher, which is spotless.
“Are you okay? You seem tired… Nice work cleaning this place up. Oh, but Flo came crawling back with a flat tire just now. I’ll need you to look at that again in the morning. For now, go home and get some rest. Shift’s over.”
No. 1027690 ID: c92a02
File 164868169852.png - (12.17KB , 500x500 , quadruple_facepalm.png )




No. 1027691 ID: e07ed2

No. 1027692 ID: 4ea8e7


Told you ‘twas but a dream. But hey, at least you still have a job!
No. 1027693 ID: 9c97c7

aw, darn
nice thread tho
No. 1027722 ID: df76b1

preddy gud
No. 1027775 ID: f2320a

seems like we just went psychotic also why do we have that twilek do we literally run this whole place on our own except for ordering food
No. 1027934 ID: c92a02

THREAD 2 LINK: >>/questdis/137332
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