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1017029 No. 1017029 ID: eedbeb

Previous Thread: https://questden.org/kusaba/questarch/res/1014176.html
Wiki: https://questden.org/wiki/This_Isn%27t_Working
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tippler

NSFW, warning for possible magical being pseudo-incest

Chuck is the reader controlled character. He and Rhine are adults.
490 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
No. 1019055 ID: 96c896

Attempt portal drain. If it fails then we have one more action I think, which we can spend portaling to the offices and try to find someone to drain in desperation. We can promise to give them mana back later, it's just borrowing!
No. 1019057 ID: afe7de

Portal, 4/5 is better then like... 1/256 twice
No. 1019076 ID: eedbeb
File 164105543247.png - (219.37KB , 1000x1100 , p142.png )

Turn 6 of 6

>Portal Station
“I need to get some more mana.” Chuck tells Rhine. “Up on the surface there’s a portal station that I’m aiming for, can you come with me?”

“Ok.” Rhine rubs the tears out of his eyes, reabsorbs them into his hand, and gets to his feet.

Chuck and his brother navigate the maze of kid sized obstacles in tentative silence. Rhine might be on his side now, but they aren’t bosom friends. There’s still so much Chuck doesn’t know about Rhine’s time with Dusty as a changeling.

“I’m trying to get Silicon and Carbon to stop being addicted to power and control. They’re still planning to take mana from the mortals and continue their weird intrusive robot business after I pretend to defeat them.” Chuck says once they reach another stone tunnel.
No. 1019077 ID: eedbeb
File 164105544294.png - (432.56KB , 1000x1100 , p143.png )

“You’re gonna use the spell you just did on me?” Rhine asks.

“That’s the plan.”


The air gets warmer and fresher as Chuck ascends, until he emerges on a well-worn dirt path. The portal gate resembles a thick metal arch and appears to be off.

“Oh hey, it’s Ahpin’s kids.”

Three familiar green tinged figures are sitting in the grass, playing a card game. The shark waves them over.

“I need the mana from this portal gate for final battle reasons.” Chuck explains.
No. 1019078 ID: eedbeb
File 164105545012.png - (263.09KB , 1000x1100 , p144.png )

“Say no more, even though we’re supposed to be guarding it, there’s nothing worse than authority figures getting in the way of heroes.” the shark replies.

Chuck thanks her and approaches the metal structure. It’s a little taller than him with little doors on the legs where the mana batteries must be hiding. With some generous cutting with Pord, Chuck gets the casing off and the battery exposed.

He opens his mouth to drain the mana, but nothing comes out. Alarmed, he tries again, with no success.

Chuck spends the next fifteen minutes desperately trying to get the battery to cooperate. Why isn’t this working?

“There’s some kind of ward on it.” Rhine says eventually. “They must have been trying super hard to keep it secure.”
No. 1019079 ID: eedbeb
File 164105546039.png - (243.74KB , 1000x1100 , p145.png )

Chuck a deep breath, calms himself, and is about to dive back in when Silicon’s voice blares out of Pord’s eye.

“Hello? Hello Chuck? Where are you? I gave my big speech and now we are sitting around like idiots waiting!”

“I—I’m busy with something.”

“Well it can’t be more important than this. Get back here right now, I’ll make small talk until you arrive.”

In an unlucky turn of events, Chuck failed to extract the mana from the portal station. He now must return to the battlefield.

He may not be able to spell Silicon and Carbon, but he can still talk to them using what he’s learned. What should he say to get them to change their minds on the mana vents OR the robots?
No. 1019090 ID: 3328c7

Make a compelling argument to Silicon about how his consuming of countless spirit was and is still horrible. He's not just a story-time villain, he's straight up a legitimate force of pain and suffering to the world.


Don't show up. Let's just portal out of the dungeon and let the heroes kill those two maniacs for real.
No. 1019093 ID: 36784c

>not enough mana
Do you have enough time to ask the three familiar green tinged figures for some mana? If they each give you some, that might be enough for you to be close enough to your goal, you can just get the remaining mana from draining the gun.

>What should he say to get them to change their minds on the mana vents OR the robots?
The whole reason Silicon is doing this is because he believes he’s one of those villains that’ll improve the quality of life of people and contribute to technological innovations. He’s doing that with his robots, so I don’t think we can convince him to give up on that.

We’ll need to somehow convince him to reopen the mana vents. I just don’t know what we’d say to him.

>let the heroes kill those two maniacs for real.
I’m pretty sure both of them are too powerful for that.
No. 1019099 ID: 96c896

Yeah ask the Nunyas for mana. It's important, you don't need that much more!

>talk to Carbon and Silicon
Tell them they are addicted. They are not in control of their actions. That should give Carbon pause considering his addiction, at least.
No. 1019106 ID: 3328c7

And, if that fails, tells EVERYONE the plan with the sword and the secret retirement and still hijacking the mana vents under everyone's noses. That should take away Silicon's power.
Metaphorically, I mean.
No. 1019109 ID: eedbeb
File 164108124535.png - (246.71KB , 1000x1100 , p146.png )

>Ask for mana from the Nunya’s
Chuck grabs Pord and scrambles back to the green gang. “Guys, hey, can I have some of your mana really quick?”

Bob raises his small tendril head. “You don’t want this stuff, trust me.”

“How about you two, the mortals?”

“That’s kind of a big ask, we need our mana for casting spells and unlike you we can’t get it back.” the shark says.

“Please, it’s for a good cause, I’m trying to stop—“

“I’m hearing a lot of chattering and not a lot of returning to the dungeon.” Silicon via Pord interrupts.
No. 1019110 ID: eedbeb
File 164108127170.png - (326.42KB , 1000x1100 , p147.png )

The ground under Chuck caves in and he screams as he free falls. Pord is wrenched from his grasp, which is probably good for safety reasons, and after a few tense moments Chuck lands in a net of carbon fiber at the ceiling of the battlefield.

“—anyway, that’s how Carbon and I solved the puzzle of the Murder Mystery Dungeon when we were young. Also Gabe, I fucked your nephew.”

Silicon is sprawled on his side, addressing the assembled army. Where his room once was is a yawning chasm.

Pord floats down next to Chuck, and he cuts himself free, which unfortunately results in him rapidly falling once more.
No. 1019111 ID: eedbeb
File 164108129946.png - (374.62KB , 1000x1100 , p148.png )

A black rope catches him around the middle and gently lowers him to the ground.

“Oh my! How could this be? My own intern turning against me?” Silicon says dramatically. “What a big sword you have, Chuck, I sure hope you don’t kill me with it!”

“Can you just…be quiet for a second?” Chuck asks wearily.

“I am very sorry, you need to have your speech too, of course.” Silicon zips his mouth shut and throws away the key.

Chuck takes a deep breath. “Silicon, you and Carbon really are villains. You’ve consumed countless other spirits and even though you could have killed a lot more, it’s still a horrible thing.”

Silicon nods.

“I’m a—no, I’m THE spirit of addiction. And I can see you’re both addicted to what your power and influence has brought you and the control you have over other people’s lives. I’m asking you to do the right thing and take a step back. Consider what’s really important to you and let the rest of us live our lives.”
No. 1019112 ID: eedbeb
File 164108132356.png - (408.30KB , 1000x1100 , p149.png )

The whole cave is silent for a moment.

“Okay, we’ll think about it.” says Silicon. “Slice me up, Chuck.”

Chuck bunches up his powerful legs and leaps, slashing Pord across Silicon’s neck. It never touches the elemental, of course, but the cut creates a dramatic red line across space. Silicon tips himself gently off the cliff and Carbon leaps after him.

Chuck lands hard, buckling to one knee. The weight of the last three days catches up to him, and he stays there as the army breaks into cheers.
No. 1019119 ID: 96c896

Alright, victory pose and all that, ham it up for the crowd so Silicon's plan doesn't get ruined and also ruin everyone else's day in the process.

See if you can get some cool shit to share with Rhine later.
No. 1019172 ID: eedbeb
File 164109838860.png - (325.07KB , 1000x1100 , p150.png )

The mortals know it was fake. He knows it was fake too, but that doesn’t stop Chuck from pulling a sweet victory pose and roaring his triumph to the adoring crowd.

Pord is still in his hand, and is enough of a deterrent that he isn’t swarmed and carried off to the post battle orgy. The Guardians give him a respectful salute, before rushing to join the rapidly proliferating bacchanal.

Chuck smiles and readies Pord.

Where should Chuck go?
-The office, to see his friends
-The surface, to see his family
No. 1019174 ID: e51896

The office before going back to family. Gotta see if our bro wants to hang with Dad and say goodbye to everyone. We might not come back or something.
No. 1019176 ID: 96c896

Office first!
No. 1019178 ID: c92a02

We're probably not coming back here. The office.
No. 1019179 ID: 36784c

It sure would be a shame if these mortals were too busy celebrating to notice us getting some more of their mana. We’d put it to good use by making sure we’re strong enough to cure the addictions of Maddie and Uzak.

>Where to?
Heads the office to say goodbye to our friends and pick up our brother. Then we go home.
No. 1019215 ID: eedbeb
File 164113953667.png - (367.33KB , 1000x1100 , p151.png )

>Steal mana from mortals?
Chuck knows the intervention spell and has enough mana (including the gun) to cast it on Uzak and Maddie. There’s no need to screw over the celebrating mortals.

>The office
Chuck doesn’t know if he’ll get the chance to see his friends once he goes to the surface, so he cuts a portal across the tent cave, and another one to the cafeteria.

Delphine and Clementine are sitting at a table, enjoying a bottle of mold liquor. They jump when Chuck emerges from a crack in space.

“Hello dear, is it done?” the camel asks.
No. 1019216 ID: eedbeb
File 164113956318.png - (235.91KB , 1000x1100 , p152.png )

“Yeah. Yeah I think so. The mortals are having an after-party.”

Delphine gags. “I’m going to have to clean up their mess, disgusting.”

“Take the day off.” Clem suggests.

“Everything’s going to solidify and get stuck in the cracks. Anyway, since it’s safe the others should be coming back soon.”

Chuck sits at the table and sips from his cup while the two orange hued women chat. There are a few small tremors, but no robots show themselves.
No. 1019217 ID: eedbeb
File 164113958254.png - (303.62KB , 1000x1100 , p153.png )

The only warning he gets is the clunk of boots before he’s seized from behind by a meter of high speed goblin.

“Chuck!” Wingnut squeals. “You’re still here! And you’re alive! Oh, pour me a glass, Clem.”

“And he’s bigger.” Gabriela notes, eyeing Chuck’s new muscles.

“Your gun was a big help, I shot Rhine with it.” Chuck squeaks.

“Really? I’m so glad.” Wingnut kisses Chuck on the cheek.
No. 1019218 ID: e51896

Hey, where be Aloise and Rhine at. Also ask if even though your going outside, if you could still come visit then and vice-versa
No. 1019236 ID: 3328c7

Give her a hug and enjoy a moment of chaste bonding with your new friends.
No. 1019246 ID: 36784c

Use your new longer tail to give Wingnut a hug while she’s behind you.

Ask if anyone has seen Rhine anywhere?
No. 1019268 ID: eedbeb
File 164116605359.png - (222.34KB , 1000x1100 , p154.png )

Chuck hugs Wingnut with his new and improved tail and accepts a smooch from Gabriela.

“Where’s Rhine?” Aloise asks. The scorpion circles around the table to sit at the last remaining seat.

Wait a second, where is Rhine? Last time Chuck saw his brother was at the dungeon entrance before Silicon unceremoniously summoned him back to the battleground. There wouldn’t really be a reason for Rhine to return to the office, so Chuck can only hope the changeling hasn’t gone far.

“I don’t know, probably somewhere on the surface.” Chuck shrugs.
No. 1019269 ID: eedbeb
File 164116607421.png - (395.32KB , 1000x1100 , p155.png )

Chuck spends the afternoon laughing and talking with his friends until the bottle is empty and he’s surprisingly worn out.

He stands with a stretch. “I think I’ll head out, my dad’s on the surface and I’m going to go live with him. Will I still be able to get to this office later?”

“I hope so, we’ll find you even if Silicon moves things around.” Wingnut promises.
No. 1019270 ID: eedbeb
File 164116609327.png - (190.19KB , 1000x1100 , p156.png )

As Chuck prepares to portal hop out of the dungeon, a bright screen catches his eye. A little spidery robot is beckoning to him from the tunnel leading to the warm rock room, the same place he originally hatched.

What should Chuck do? This will be the last scene of the quest:
-Go to the surface and find Ahpin
-Talk to Silicon one more time
No. 1019272 ID: c92a02

What do you want, Silicon. Also, have you seen Rhine?
No. 1019273 ID: afe7de

Might as well talk to silicon
No. 1019277 ID: 96c896

God fine talk to Silicon. It's not like he's gonna kidnap you again.
No. 1019280 ID: 36784c

I wonder if that’s actually Rhine and he just wants to pretend he’s Silicon to try and get you to come over?

Might as well go see if that robot is actually Silicon or if it’s just Rhine in disguise.
No. 1019284 ID: e51896

Might as well give Silicone the sword back. Tell him you're not addicted to power, so you don't really need it, and you got some friends' addictions to cure... but if Silicone and Carbon would like to get their addictions cured, you'll be happy to do that someday.
No. 1019288 ID: 36784c

Don’t give away Pord! They’re our friend!

We should probably ask for a cover for them so they don’t accidentally cut and kill anyone.
No. 1019297 ID: eedbeb
File 164117734618.png - (225.90KB , 1000x1100 , p157.png )

Chuck follows the robot to the little cave and hops up onto the ledge to sit.

“I kind of expected you to spend more time dead. What’s up?” Chuck asks.

The robot grabs a long, dark sheath and struggles up the rock with small exclamations like ‘oh my’, ‘deawy me’, ‘hold on a second’.

It finally pulls itself level with Chuck with a sigh. “I should’ve given you dis when I gave you de sword, but as you know we were interrupted. Pord is much safer this way.”

Chuck accepts the sheath and slides Pord home. “Thanks.”
No. 1019298 ID: eedbeb
File 164117735666.png - (201.04KB , 1000x1100 , p158.png )

“Next, I realize I never told you my twagic backstory.” Silicon says.

“Er, it’s okay, you don’t have to—“

“I came into being as a changeling many centuries ago, in some aristocrat’s abandoned library. I don’t know why the owner went missing, they may have merely been on a long vacation.” Silicon continues.

Chuck sighs and prepares to hear Silicon’s tale.

“Dere were two of us who stayed together, there were enough enchanted tomes dat we had plenty to eat and enough other books that we weren’t bored, though I was smaller and weaker than her. When it was time to become an egg I hid in de back of an old sofa.”
No. 1019299 ID: eedbeb
File 164117736468.png - (323.30KB , 1000x1100 , p159.png )

“I don’t know what went wrong with de other egg, Carbon tells me he found an eldritch pwowling the stacks when he came to burn paper for an easy meal. He beat it to death, but its corruption had already reached me and I hatched…wrong. I was not an eldritch, but I couldn’t control my form and was feeble.”

Oh yeah, Silicon did have those weird muddy green eyes. Chuck hadn’t put two and two together and realized the elemental was corrupted.

“Carbon spared me and I became his companion. I was de dreamer, and he kept us out of trouble as we traveled de world. Dose were the happiest moments of my life, when things were simple. I dragged Carbon to all the dungeons that I had read about in books and we became adventurers.”
No. 1019300 ID: eedbeb
File 164117737515.png - (184.90KB , 1000x1100 , p160.png )

The robot falls silent, tapping the stone with its quaint metal feet.

“Well, I don’t want to bore you with all the details. We went wrong. And you were right dat I have a pwoblem with power. I still feel insecure, like I am the weak little cweature I was as a changeling and young spirit, and that fear drives me to want more and more. I’ll work on it. Carbon too. Is dere anything else you’d like to tell me before you go?”
No. 1019301 ID: c92a02

Silicon, there's one more addiction you have that I didn't mention. You're addicted to deez.
No. 1019302 ID: afe7de

I was going to make a thoughtful response, have chuck offer to help him with his addictions so that he could live the life he wants to.

But no, ending on a Deez nuts joke is exactly what I want.
No. 1019303 ID: 8a51ec

"Well I mean, yes, but I won't because it would be the polite thing to do."
No. 1019306 ID: e51896

Do a deez nutz joke.

If you can, open a portal to the Nutz bar. (not sure if we could tho since Chuck probably doesnt know that place)
No. 1019307 ID: 8483cf

Let's end it with some levity. Deez nuts!
No. 1019308 ID: 3ed3c3

"Yeah. I quit."
No. 1019309 ID: 894419

I can't believe we're provoking an eternity of villainy for a deez nuts joke. If you do make the joke, first tell him that despite the kidnapping, and despite being compelled into service for a villainous entity you really get the feeling that he's not a bad person, just a little careless. Then give him a hug and tell him that you also appreciate the job experience.
No. 1019311 ID: fd4d13

Deez nuts joke is fun, Silicon's obviously a guy who likes to have fun.

Say you were pretty upset about the kidnapping at first, but you found your brother and nobody got hurt so you can't stay mad. And maybe if he finds another adventure to look forward to he can hit you up
No. 1019312 ID: 36784c

No. 1019313 ID: eedbeb
File 164118153258.png - (176.78KB , 1000x1100 , p161.png )

Chuck claps his hand lightly on the robot’s thin shoulder. “You have another addiction I didn’t tell you about.”

“Oh no! What is it?”


Silicon 404s. “Dese what? I do not understand.”

Chuck prepares the killing blow. “Deez nuts.”

The robot flaps its metal limbs in the air. “A joke! You have outwitted me! Very good my former intern.”

“I believe in you man, get better and thanks for the job experience.”
No. 1019314 ID: eedbeb
File 164118154189.png - (384.20KB , 1000x1100 , p162.png )

Thank you for reading This Isn’t Working.
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