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File 159971026806.png - (32.87KB , 512x512 , panel1.png )
975978 No. 975978 ID: ce5cbd

Expand all images
>>
No. 975979 ID: ce5cbd
File 159971029639.png - (51.60KB , 512x512 , panel2.png )
975979

Did you need me for something, sir?
>>
No. 975980 ID: ce5cbd
File 159971043261.png - (41.52KB , 512x512 , panel3.png )
975980

"Hello worker, as you can see from the giant magi-tech space station currently shaking with arcane magic outside the Earth has approximately two days to live before half the solar system is blown up by a COSMIC ULTRA NUKE hidden in the space station.

Due to budget cuts I can't pay anyone with any power enough money to actually care so I'm sending you instead."

At least he isn't black out drunk today.

>_
>>
No. 975981 ID: 939594

"What's my budget?"
>>
No. 975982 ID: e7c7d3

Ask if this is going on your annual employment review
>>
No. 975983 ID: bcda15

Can I get a title bump instead of a pay raise at least?
>>
No. 975985 ID: 894419

Can I take the company car?
>>
No. 975991 ID: 0e149a

why can't YOU do it boss man
>>
No. 975992 ID: b1b4f3

What's the mission, exactly? Steal the COSMIC ULTRA NUKE? Disarm it? Destroy it? Pilot the space station into an enemy solar system instead?
>>
No. 975996 ID: df76b1

>>975992
Really if we do any of these, we can claim to have solved the problem.

Personally I say send it to another dimension, let Azathoth deal with it.
>>
No. 975997 ID: ce39da

"Alright, beam me up and I'll see what I can do."
>>
No. 975998 ID: 3ed3c3

"Do I get hazard pay?"
>>
No. 976046 ID: ce5cbd
File 159979407545.png - (42.81KB , 512x512 , panel4.png )
976046

"Sir, am I just going into this mission with only my hopes and dreams or something? Can't I at least get the company car? What am I supposed to do with the COSMIC ULTRA NUKE anyway?"

"The 'company car' is a scooter that had its engine sold at a loss. What happens to the COSMIC ULTRA NUKE doesn't matter, just make sure we're still alive after a couple days. Also, don't worry, I have some of the best equipment we could afford."
>>
No. 976048 ID: ce5cbd
File 159979416476.png - (42.21KB , 512x512 , panel5.png )
976048

He takes out a wooden stick covered in grease and filth. Wait, that's a magic wand!

"I found it under the dumpster, I think it has some half decent mana storage and regeneration. Hope you know spells, worker."

TRASH STICK
Mana Storage - 1 [Number of times you can cast a spell per encounter. Recharges after an encounter, and is unlimited outside encounters.]
Special - Any mage that actually sees you use this is gonna think a lot less of you than normal.

The only spell I know is Thermus, which can raise or lower an object's temperature by 100 K. I tried using it at a kid's birthday once. He probably won't miss his dad too bad. In a fight however, I'll need a moment of unbroken focus to apply it to a living being, and unless they aren't aware of me they'll figure out what I'm doing immediately.

"Also, I have a magic weapon some blokes found in a lake for gods know how long."

A magic weapon? Man, those are rare!
>>
No. 976049 ID: ce5cbd
File 159979417410.png - (41.43KB , 512x512 , panel6.png )
976049

Oh.

"It was in a lake for like a thousand years, you gotta take what you can get."

SCRAPPY SWORD
[b]Special[\b] - Fuck you.

"Boss, if you have all this already why can't you do it?"

"Worker, if I worked I'd be a worker, not a boss."

"What do I get out of this anyway? Pay raise, title bump?"

"Nothing. Now with that out of the way do you have any other questions? If not then I'll send you off."
>>
No. 976051 ID: b1b4f3

>>976049
Why hasn't the government sent some crack team of well equipped highly skilled heroes to do this?
Can you bring other people with you to help?
>>
No. 976052 ID: 094652

Realize at this point that the highest levels of the elite see the world as a video game, and they're sick of playing but want to maximize their score by sending a failed effort to save the world and blow it up even further.

Now ask for cheat codes and microtransactions. Get their nostalgia to slip them up with actual success.
>>
No. 976054 ID: df76b1

If I have to walk to space, it's going to hurt our deadline.

Can't I have cabfare, or enough powder for the company cannon?
>>
No. 976055 ID: 894419

We're gonna need a really good place to do a ramp jump with that scooter if we're going to make it into orbit. Does Boss know any good half-piping locations?
>>
No. 976057 ID: b1b4f3

Oh right ask if there's anyone who can repair the sword. Or upgrade your scooter so you can reach the space station.

>unlimited outside encounters
Hold on, is there any cooldown whatsoever on Thermus? If not, we can use it rapidfire to explode things or create superconductors. Also, what happens if you try lower an object below 0 Kelvin?
>>
No. 976060 ID: ce39da

"Okay, so what you haven't answered is 'how I'm expected to get up there.' I don't have any teleportation or flight spells, myself."
>>
No. 976685 ID: ce5cbd
File 160049166887.png - (63.54KB , 512x512 , panel7.png )
976685

"Alright, so, how am I gonna get there?"

"You ask way too many goddamn questions worker. There's a few spots you can go to reach the space station."
>>
No. 976686 ID: ce5cbd
File 160049167437.png - (57.28KB , 512x512 , panel8.png )
976686

"The first option is to travel to the northern military installation and take the stairs directly into the space station. Normally it'd be defended and all, but ever since the military budget got slashed by 0.5% the soldiers just kinda gave up and most of them went AWOL, though there might be some stragglers.

"The other option, seeing as you can't seem to keep your eyes off the damn scooter, is to get a scooter flight upgrade from the mechanic downtown. He's kind of a massive dickhead and thinks I robbed him of his money so you're gonna have to find a way to convince him. I totally did, by the way, but that's besides the point."

"The last option, finally, is to petition the western wizarding tower for a teleport spell, though they're naturally gonna ask something of you. I heard the newest grandmaster is a bit more sinister than her predecessors, but her assets are to die fo- anyway."

"I'm kind of tired of you now, so I'll escort you out. Fuck off and try not to get killed, if you get back don't be surprised if you see a pink slip on your desk."
>>
No. 976687 ID: ce5cbd
File 160049167742.png - (15.69KB , 512x512 , panel9.png )
976687

I can't believe it, an adventure! It's like I'm in a storybook! All my life I dreamed of heading to new places and meeting new people, until I got a desk job that sapped my soul into oblivion.
>>
No. 976688 ID: ce5cbd
File 160049169171.png - (42.90KB , 512x512 , panel10.png )
976688

The only question is, where to?

>Military Base
>Wizard Tower
>Mechanic Shop
>Other_
>>
No. 976689 ID: df76b1

Mechanic, enroute to the Military Base.

We need a running scooter, but we should also scavenge some explosives or whatnot at the base.
>>
No. 976692 ID: b1b4f3

Scooter! Advantage is that it works for a return trip and doesn't require climbing a shitload of stairs.
>>
No. 976701 ID: cbee43

>>976692
We could just stipulerte to the wizard that we’d like a return trip option as well, you know? Frankly I bet this is the fault of wizards in the first place so we might as well hit up the (best) western wizarding tower and ask if they know anything about it while we’re petitioning.

Or hope the space station containing the COSMIC ULTRA NUKE at least has a functional escape pod.
>>
No. 976869 ID: f56a2b

>>976689
tihs
>>
No. 977921 ID: ce5cbd
File 160186658208.png - (70.19KB , 512x512 , panel11.png )
977921

Aw right! Mechanics shop then the military base. Just gotta find the-
>>
No. 977922 ID: ce5cbd
File 160186658837.png - (61.60KB , 512x512 , panel12.png )
977922

Oh, right. Ah, well, it beats the stairs.

By the by, Thermus usually can be used constantly, but the gesture takes several seconds to perform, which is also stacked on top of the moment's concentration for organic things. It naturally can't drop things below 0 K. Additionally, it's less "heat" and more sudden temperature change. If you were to cast it on water at 25 C or so into 125 C the temperature will immediately drop to vaporize the liquid, if the liquid's too big it'll be stuck at 100 C with some steam flying around (enviromental conditions may change this). Similar effect goes on with "cooling" things. Funny how that works.

All spells either have a gesture or vocal aspect, and a mental aspect only found in spellbooks or teachers.
>>
No. 977923 ID: ce5cbd
File 160186659108.png - (81.16KB , 512x512 , panel13.png )
977923

Man, what a lovely day out! A great time to go stop the world from blowing up.

"Halt!"

Uh oh.
>>
No. 977924 ID: ce5cbd
File 160186659406.png - (49.00KB , 512x512 , panel14.png )
977924

A Mage Watcher.

"Oi bloke, you got a license for that wan-"
>>
No. 977925 ID: ce5cbd
File 160186659702.png - (51.20KB , 512x512 , panel15.png )
977925

"Eeuughh..."

I do not, as a matter of a fact. I should probably do something before I get arrested.

>_
>>
No. 977927 ID: f56a2b

Wand? Oh, no. This is just some shit my boss gave me. No, you want it? Here. License? What? Just take this stinky shit, I hate it, and I'm tired of the rash carrying it around is giving me. If I need a license to carry trash for my boss, I guess I'll be better off fired.
>>
No. 977928 ID: cdabe3

Try not to stare at her tits and get incredibly aroused
>>
No. 977950 ID: df76b1

rolled 88 = 88

Roll to seduce. Toss a Loin to your Watcher.
>>
No. 977952 ID: 0af973

>>977927
Backing
>>
No. 977967 ID: 8fab7a

What, they want you to HAND IT OVER for INSPECTION, they said?

Move closer, threaten to give it to them. Watch them find something - anything - better to do.

If they actually decide to perform their duty, rather than avoid it like the plague they'd catch from touching this thing, admit you don't own it and that it was found in the trash.

Then ask if they, as an authority figure checking for unlicensed magical artifacts, aren't going to do something about the COSMIC ULTRA NUKE that's threatening to blow up the space station and half the solar system?
>>
No. 977968 ID: 1a8428

Don't worry, I'm only going to use it in space, where the law doesn't reach probably. Do you want to come along? I assume you have some interest in not dying in the next couple of days. Could use some help making that not happen.
>>
No. 978262 ID: 15a025

Wand? This is just a stick I dug out of a dumpster. You got a license or ID that says you can inspect my dumpster stick? Are you even a real mage watcher?
>>
No. 980556 ID: ce5cbd
File 160479318806.png - (57.70KB , 512x512 , 1604793134698.png )
980556

Judging by the Mage Watcher emblem on her cartoonishly large chest, it'd be a bad idea to question her authority.

"Don't worry, my boss gave it to me to borrow, just ask him! Technically, I AM going to be using it out in space anyway."

"Literally NEITHER of those things let you walk around with a wand without a magic license."

"Ah, well, alright Ms...?"

"Riede Shafthound."

...Yeah, sure.
>>
No. 980557 ID: ce5cbd
File 160479319269.png - (63.83KB , 512x512 , 1604793060395.png )
980557

"OK PAL I was just asking you where your license was I don't need to hold it YET!"


"Aw come on, it just gives me a light rash! Besides, if I don't the world's gonna blow up!"

"...I'm sorry?"

"Yeah! See the space station? It's gonna blow up half the solar system!"
>>
No. 980558 ID: ce5cbd
File 160479320111.png - (43.10KB , 512x512 , 1604792817744.png )
980558

>>
No. 980559 ID: ce5cbd
File 160479320458.png - (59.47KB , 512x512 , 1604792822479.png )
980559

"Huh, the USCR said it was just the decennial Cosmic Rave. Now that I think about it, it does seem strange that the Headmistress was complaining about it being postponed for another year or so."

...Alrighty then. Plan B.
>>
No. 980560 ID: ce5cbd
File 160479320893.png - (53.41KB , 512x512 , 1604792827669.png )
980560

"How about you join me so I can prove to you that we really are in danger? Then maybe later we can go for McBonalds or something for dinner?"
>>
No. 980561 ID: ce5cbd
File 160479321138.png - (38.41KB , 512x512 , 1604793109111.png )
980561

>>
No. 980562 ID: ce5cbd
File 160479321584.png - (38.96KB , 512x512 , 1604792843704.png )
980562

"I'm gonna pretend that that wasn't the world's shittiest attempt at asking someone out and say 'Fine, I'll hang around just to make sure you don't fuck around and that everything's going all right at the Station.' How are we getting there anyway? There's enough bureaucratic red tape that authorizing a teleportation spell onto the platform through the anti-magic field takes weeks if you're not the Headmistress or any other magical authority."

"I'm gonna fly there with a scooter."

"...What?"

>_
>>
No. 980563 ID: b1b4f3

>>980562
Yeah you're gonna get rockets put on it or something and get some kind of protection to not die in space. Easy.
>>
No. 980578 ID: 894419

You heard what I said!
>>
No. 980592 ID: df76b1

Flying scooters isn't really my department. I'm going to see an expert, now.
>>
No. 980611 ID: 094652

"The mega-corporation that took over the world intentionally fired all their non-predatory-business employees and now nobody in charge knows how to use trillions of dollars' worth of infrastructure and technology to save the world, so the corpos did the corporate thing and threw wage slaves at the problem. Hence my lack of funding.

Please help me I want to live to see myself in your bed tomorrow."
>>
No. 980657 ID: e9d128

>>980562
Well, Watcher Shafthound, I managed to weasel out three ways of getting to the station from my drunkard of a boss. Attempting to cut the red tape at the wizarding tower would be one, but I'd probably get distracted by the Headmistress's enormous... power. The next best option is to take the stairs in a mostly abandoned military base, but I'm not that desperate, yet. So, that leaves me with convincing someone who rightfully hates my boss to upgrade the company scooter.
I'm in over my head, and although I want to live, I don't want to die with any regrets, so you may have to deal with some shitty one liners and more than a few passes at you.
>>
No. 984596 ID: ce5cbd
File 160947632211.png - (72.52KB , 512x512 , panel16.png )
984596

"Yeah, I didn't have have very many options, so I decided to spare my legs and just fly there."

"Wait, but what about oxy-"
>>
No. 984597 ID: ce5cbd
File 160947632518.png - (42.51KB , 512x512 , panel17.png )
984597

"Oh hey we're here!"

"Stars damn it."
>>
No. 984598 ID: ce5cbd
File 160947632922.png - (87.69KB , 512x512 , panel18.png )
984598

An old rusty bell chimes as we enter the lobby. A soft voice rings out from the back.

"I'll be there in juuuuuuuuuuust a sec~!"

Looking at the walls here, I am stricken by the possibility that I should have thought of a game plan before walking in here.

>_
>>
No. 984599 ID: b1b4f3

>>984598
Ask your new buddy to be your face for this transaction.
>>
No. 984601 ID: e8bee9

>>984598
FIRST THINGS FIRST
"do you have any astronaut suits rated for low earth orbit? failing that, got any airtight helmets? also i want to make my scooter get to the space station, honestly not worried about getting back"
>>
No. 984602 ID: b1b4f3

>>984601
In case you missed it, the posters are wanted posters for Worker's boss. We need some subtlety here.
>>
No. 984676 ID: ce5cbd
File 160964587911.png - (60.16KB , 512x512 , panel19.png )
984676

"Oh right so the owner of this shop has a blood feud against Boss and by extension the entirety of Company so you're gonna have to take over from here."

"Are you serious? Wh-"

"Uh oh, here he comes."
>>
No. 984677 ID: ce5cbd
File 160964588387.png - (87.25KB , 512x512 , panel20.png )
984677

Aaaaand out he goes. Fantastic.

"Hello there, how can I help you today~?"
>>
No. 984678 ID: ce5cbd
File 160964588736.png - (76.46KB , 512x512 , panel21.png )
984678

I almost mistook the scooter mechanic for a girl for a second. Honestly, he doesn't look half ba-.

Focus. Slim figure. Stained hands. Likely the only employee of the place based on how small this establishment is. He seems like a nice man, but the apparent fixation to... "Company"'s boss is concerning. Proceed with caution.

"Ah! A Mage Watcher. Officer, what can I help you with?"

"Uh, right, I need to get this scooter capable of space flight. Also, do you have any space suits with full oxygen supply we might be able to use?"

"Ah, yes, the Space Travel Suite~. Let me just-"
>>
No. 984679 ID: ce5cbd
File 160964589032.png - (53.55KB , 512x512 , panel22.png )
984679

"Wait a FUCKING second. This is a Company scooter. Miss Watcher, where, precisely, did you get this?"

Shit.

>_
>>
No. 984680 ID: e2f5cc

"Found it in the dumpster, cleaned it up a little."
>>
No. 984684 ID: b1b4f3

>>984679
You confiscated it pending an official investigation.
It's almost true!
>>
No. 984698 ID: 874370

"Boss now has one less scooter on his personal belongings. Can you fix it so I can fly up to his window and rub it in his unwashed face?"
>>
No. 984700 ID: f8fa51

Yup, definitely confiscated.
>>
No. 984739 ID: 4d4283

I think it's better to say "confiscated" than "stolen". As a Mage Watcher there is a image to preserve (and is less shady).
>>
No. 984939 ID: eb1fcc

>>984698
this, with the stipulation we actually do it later
>>
No. 986816 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161232091207.png - (57.80KB , 512x512 , panel23.png )
986816

"Oh, well sir you may be delighted to hear that Company is currently under investigation for illegally distributing magical items to unlicensed users."

"R-really? Finally, the damn mutt is getting punished for something. But, why do you need his scooter?"
>>
No. 986817 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161232091605.png - (43.71KB , 512x512 , panel24.png )
986817

"As compensation for, uhhhhhhh, already confirmed crimes we've already seized a bunch of Company's assets as payment. This included."

"Hmmmm, alright. And why do you need the space travel suite?"

"So I can fly it up to his office and spit in his face." Whoever he is.
>>
No. 986818 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161232091949.png - (51.28KB , 512x512 , panel25.png )
986818

"That doesn't sound very pro-. You know what, yeah, he does deserve that!"

"Yeah! How soon can you get this scooter up and running? I'll need two space suits as well."

"I can get it ready within an hour. The two person space travel suite will be about 4000 Dobs!"

Aw fuck, that's like a month's salary.

>_
>>
No. 986819 ID: b1b4f3

Well, it's for the sake of the world.
Pay it and then convince the other dude to pay you back. Or at least pay half of it back.
>>
No. 986823 ID: 0d0f23

Go in debt by offering an IOU on behalf of the mage watchers
>>
No. 987967 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161326579280.png - (49.41KB , 512x512 , panel26.png )
987967

"Excuse me, I need to talk to a, uh, colleague for a second."

"Oh, certainly miss!"
>>
No. 987968 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161326579613.png - (60.83KB , 512x512 , panel27.png )
987968

"Oi, you."

"Yeah?"

"The hell's your name anyway?"

"Worker."

...Right.
>>
No. 987969 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161326580191.png - (48.87KB , 512x512 , panel28.png )
987969

"Ok Worker, I managed to secure a deal but we need 4000 Dobs. Think we could split it up 50/50 o-"

"Oh right, that! Problem is I don't have nearly as much as 2000 Dobs."

"What? Why?!"

"Pay cuts, I've only been getting paid 200 Dobs a month the past two years or so."

THAT'S SEVERAL TIMES BELOW THE POVERTY LI- you know what forget it.
>>
No. 987970 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161326580606.png - (32.23KB , 512x512 , panel29.png )
987970

"Ok, so I'm just gonna have to use credit."

If this all turns out to be a fib the Mistress is gonna lock me up in the "naughty dungeon".

Cosmic Kings help me.

"Splendid~! I'll have it out in an hour or so."

At least I'll get a chance to rest.
>>
No. 987971 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161326581140.png - (36.85KB , 512x512 , panel30.png )
987971

You know, I'm fairly certain space isn't supposed to open like that.

>_
>>
No. 987972 ID: b1b4f3

>>987971
Stick your dick in it.
>>
No. 987974 ID: afe7de

Watch in horror as your ex girlfriend pops out of the tear in space.
>>
No. 987992 ID: 9a2966

Observe trepidatiously.
>>
No. 988031 ID: a060c0

Politely state to whoever comes out of it that you are on Company time and can't deal with tears un the fabric of reality right now.
>>
No. 988039 ID: ce39da

>>988031
This; we can't do much else, and it would be best not to cause a scene while the bird still needs to think we're uninvolved.
>>
No. 988618 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161385013004.png - (17.31KB , 512x512 , panel31.png )
988618

"Uhh..."
>>
No. 988619 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161385013365.png - (31.36KB , 512x512 , panel32.png )
988619

>>
No. 988620 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161385013618.png - (89.54KB , 512x512 , panel33.png )
988620

"You. Are you the one trying to reach the space sta-"
>>
No. 988621 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161385014319.png - (45.04KB , 512x512 , panel34.png )
988621

"Look lady, I don't really have time to play around with weird gaps in space, I'm on Company time right now."
>>
No. 988622 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161385014656.png - (37.92KB , 512x512 , panel35.png )
988622

>>
No. 988623 ID: 8d2ba7
File 161385014971.png - (46.54KB , 512x512 , panel36.png )
988623

I think it's working!

>_
>>
No. 988625 ID: 1332e6

Looks like they trying to attack you from behind with portal nonsense. Luckily you are an OFFICE WORKER and as such has gained the survival skill of having an awareness to when your boss is watching you from behind when somebody is attacking you from behind.
>>
No. 988627 ID: 894419

Because our soul has be so thoroughly crushed by the daily grind and unpaid overtime we have the natural ability to expertly dodge any work that isn't explicitly in our job description. Refer her to customer service in case she has more questions.
>>
No. 988628 ID: b1b4f3

>>988623
You should answer her question. She's trying to attack you anyway.
>>
No. 988629 ID: ce39da

Grab the not-sharp edge of the sword and yank.

"Ma'am, do I need to report you to human resources?"
>>
No. 988932 ID: 3a6df7

"Ma'am, I need to prevent the world from exploding, please let me di my job."
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