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File 159578597692.png - (71.85KB , 700x550 , 1.png )
973220 No. 973220 ID: 2c5282

Boldly Coming Reboot: The Wrath of Khrax!

Space: the final frontier. These are the adventures several courageous men and woman willing to brave the sea of stars. Their life long mission: to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and civilizations. To boldly come where no man or woman has come before.

Discussion Thread (starting on the relevant post): https://tezakia.net/kusaba/questdis/res/108793.html#133475
Expand all images
>>
No. 973221 ID: 2c5282
File 159578598629.png - (37.74KB , 700x550 , 2.png )
973221

As your species first reached the stars beyond your own solar system, you expected to find a mostly empty, cold galaxy to explore. Instead, you found a massive federation of dozen upon dozen of alien species, far technological superior and advanced compared to your own. They welcomed you with open arms, being more interested in diverse cultures than conquests and the different nations of your species agreed to join then, mostly out of self-preservation and interests in these new technological wonders. You, on the other hand, willingly embraced these new alien overlords for a more… taste related reason.

You are a Burettian, a hairy, two armed mammal like creature standing on two legs at a height of 1,75m on average, which while seemingly normal to you, is something new and exciting for the aliens that you recently met. It has been about 5 years since first contact and you have volunteered to be part of the first real immigration into the stars, to be integrated and live among the strange alien creatures of the black void beyond your own world. While many sought this opportunity to forward their careers, to get a new perspective on life or simply to explore the unknown, you and several likeminded individuals choose to leave behind your old life and travel to the stars for one reason and one reason alone.

Because you’re huge Xenophiles and want to bang a fucking alien.

Though the first question we must ask… are you a man or are you a woman?
>>
No. 973223 ID: e7c7d3

You're clearly a ship model.

Woman
>>
No. 973224 ID: 3ed3c3

>>973221
You're a man on a mission, and that mission is love.
>>
No. 973225 ID: 0fae41

Male. Tell us about the model, though! Is it one of theirs? Yours? Real? Fiction?
>>
No. 973226 ID: a9af05

>>973221
Man
>>
No. 973227 ID: 465a14

Spaceship.
>>
No. 973228 ID: e19a40

Since you asked, internalized Professor Oak, I'm choosing woman.
>>
No. 973229 ID: 4854ef

Man!
>>
No. 973230 ID: 4f51b2

>>973220
Woman
>>
No. 973231 ID: ce39da

Channel your inner Captain Kirk, good sir.
>>
No. 973232 ID: f6ea0d

Woman
>>
No. 973233 ID: 75acda

A girl with the objective of being dicked by aliens.
>>
No. 973235 ID: fa029d

Man
>>
No. 973236 ID: 9f00f4

Woman
>>
No. 973237 ID: 677406

>>973221
Man, and man that's a cool ship model
>>
No. 973238 ID: 85bdbd

A woman
>>
No. 973239 ID: e2f5cc

Man, assuming you're not a renamed human. If you are, then go girl.
>>
No. 973241 ID: f9512f

Woman
>>
No. 973243 ID: 094652

Intersex
>>
No. 973244 ID: f9512f

Let's be a woman
>>
No. 973245 ID: 1a6f80

man
>>
No. 973246 ID: cdabe3

Man
>>
No. 973248 ID: 85bdbd

woman
>>
No. 973249 ID: 3f8173

male
>>
No. 973250 ID: 2c5282
File 159580787637.png - (93.06KB , 700x550 , 3.png )
973250

>You're clearly a ship model.
As a ship model, you cannot do anything of note, least of all go on a date with an alien life form.
>Tell us about the model, though! Is it one of theirs? Yours? Real? Fiction?
Who knows? Maybe you do, but first you’ll need to know who you are, won’t you? Maybe it’s yours? Maybe it’s a friends? …or maybe it belongs to that dorky roommate of yours who won’t shut up about his max leveled wizard in that computer game that came out years ago.
>Man that's a cool ship model.
That, on the other hand, you can admit. It is a really rad ship!
>Channel your inner Captain Kirk, good sir.
As much as you want to go out on adventure in the vast unknown and explore undiscovered planets, your species was simply too late to the party for you to do that… about a thousand years too late, in fact. You will try to bone a bunch of alien babes, though.

>A girl with the objective of being dicked by aliens.
While that is a noble goal for sure, it seems like that will need to wait for another chance. Instead, you will need to be content with dicking the aliens instead… or maybe you are a man with a taste for dick yourself?
>Intersex.
…maybe later?

>You're a man on a mission, and that mission is love.
And that mission begins now!

How would you describe yourself? Are you…

1. Small, slightly chubby and nearsighted as well as a bit timid, shy and intelligent yet friendly. You work as a computer engineer and your love to play roleplaying games, both in real life as well as digital ones.

2. Large, strong and fuzzy as well as bit dull, stubborn and wise yet many consider you a big softy. You are a security guard and the thing you love the most is to train. Either at the gym or in nature.

3. Lean, albino, slightly feminine as well as confident, vulgar and a rebel yet you’ve always been good at reading people. You came here with your band, in which you play the synth, and you’ve been barely able to stay afloat by playing gigs with them. You love music above all else.

Also, what is your name?
>>
No. 973251 ID: 4f51b2

>>973250
1) Tristan
>>
No. 973252 ID: cdabe3

3) tristan is a good name though

maybe we're bi...?
>>
No. 973253 ID: e51896

3

Lets make some music

Your name is Mel
>>
No. 973259 ID: e2f5cc

>>973250
2) chad route lets go

Still go with the name tristan though, since that's a good one.
>>
No. 973260 ID: 85bdbd

1) Idk, Jose.
>>
No. 973261 ID: 62e4df

Door number 3. Pretty heavy departure from the first protagonist, but that's not a bad thing. Abstaining from name vote, Tristan and Mel are both fine.
>>
No. 973262 ID: 92ac42

3, and Mel.

We angle towards the ladies, but if a sufficiently handsome/bishie dude comes around we aren't opposed to taking a swing at them.
>>
No. 973263 ID: 28232d

>>973250
3, need to see how it plays out to be an aspiring musician in spaaaace
>>
No. 973264 ID: cfc80f

3. Tristan and Mel both seem decent names, so use both. Tristan Melbourne.
>>
No. 973299 ID: 4854ef

1: Also likin that Mel name.
>>
No. 973300 ID: 0fae41

1, and Reed. Your parents predicted you might like to reed books.
>>
No. 973305 ID: 864e49

>>973221
So we're not man this time? Interesting.
I say we go woma-
>>973250
OH GOD DAMMIT
1.Tristan's good
>>
No. 973308 ID: 2b3343

3. Tristan is fine.
>>
No. 973315 ID: 2aa5f0

3

we've never played as an albino before, could be neat but beware of the sun.
>>
No. 973322 ID: d186fc

I would humbly like to suggest:
#3 with an alternate Backstory: We are the captain of the Skyfleet (or insert faction name) vessel, the SFS (or corresponding faction ship prefix) Kestrel; the flagship of our outfit.
Same personality, but refine the vulgar into a tongue that can be as sharp as it is silver. Also the band thing, while important, is more of a professional hobby.
>>
No. 973330 ID: a38353

1, Tristan.
>>
No. 973341 ID: 864e49

>>973305
>not HUMAN this time>>973252
>>973253
>>973261
>>973262
>>973263
>>973264
>>973308
>>973315
>>973322
>3 is winning
Aw I liked the socially awkwardness of the OG protag, here 2 and 3 just feel too confident/cocky for me.
The idea of willing giving up your old life to go to space cause your life sucked, of trying to get with aliens cause you hardly got with anyone back home cause you don't fit the standards of beauty, of being someone who doesn't have all their shit together and hasn't lived the most interesting life just seemed to resonate with me more.
>>
No. 973346 ID: 62e4df

On the flip side, the first protag was so pathetic they had an an evening out with positive interactions with three members of the opposite sex and considered that such a failure that they were going to commit suicide. I don't want to play such an incel again.
>>
No. 973350 ID: f56a2b

>>973250
1
It's time to become the ultimate bottom.
>>
No. 973354 ID: 2c5282
File 159589071574.png - (103.83KB , 700x550 , 4.png )
973354

>Maybe we're bi...?
Maybe you are? That’s up to you, after all.
>If a sufficiently handsome/bishie dude comes around we aren't opposed to taking a swing at them.
If you were looking for bishie boys you would have stayed at home. This is weird alien territories.

Now, let us begin…

--------------------------

>Need to see how it plays out to be an aspiring musician in spaaaace.
You are Tristan Dowe, a male albino Burettian, and a musician at trade, though not a very famous one… or wealthy. In fact, one of the reasons why you sought the vast expenses to space was to get another try at it… that, coupled with the fact that you were about to be forced to sleep in a fucking trash container to get by… again…
>Beware of the sun.
An umbrella and a pair of sunglasses usually deal with the sun, though the twin suns on this planet have been surprisingly merciful to you. It’s probably that strange dome that’s around the city you’re in who is responsible for that fact.

>The idea of willing giving up your old life to go to space cause your life sucked…
Your fucking life sucked balls back home. You were sick and tired of always being one bad gig from being out on the street again, always being stuck in the same place without a way to escape and watching everything around you go to fucking shit.
>Trying to get with aliens cause you hardly got with anyone back home cause you don't fit the standards of beauty…
If you’d gotten a credit for each time you’ve gotten your shit kicked out of you because you look different, then you would have been a very rich man. Not to mention all the girls wants either muscular shit houses or cute boys then can push around and not some albino freak wearing makeup… wait, n-no, you m-mean, of course you’ve got l-laid! You got laid all the t-time! The girls were all over you! Y-yeah… that’s right… that’s right, Tristan… you’re cool… keep telling yourself that…
>Tell us about the model, though! Is it one of theirs? Yours? Real? Fiction?
You are pretty sure it’s fictional, though your roommate Mel did buy it when we arrived here, so you guess it might be a real model? Most of the spaceship you’ve seen so far is not that sleek and a lot blockier. You guess you can ask Mel about it, if you actually gave a rat’s ass… but not now, you don’t have time for that dork at the moment.

>Lets make some music.
If by making music you mean making sweet love to an alien, the hell yes. But if you mean actual music then that will need to wait until after the weekend is over, as that’s when you have another rep with the squad.

No, today is a special day! While you’ve been here over a week, you still haven’t been able to really get to know the aliens around here that well… but that changes now. See, you’ve found this dating site dedicated to the special little niche of interspecies relationships and you’ve finally had the courage to make a user on it.

Warning: Interspecies relationships might be dangerous. Please keep the following facts in mind:
Do not eat or drink any cuisine of another species without first checking if it is non-toxic for your species.
Do not ingest any organic material without first checking if it is non-toxic for your species.
Do not put your hand or feet inside the mouth of creatures bigger than... ugh blah blah blah…

Aliena Affinitas is not responsible for any harm, injury, mutilations, dismemberment, mangled organs, poisoning, melting, burning, dissolving, devouring or death that might occur after using this site.

Yes, you fucking get it, you’ll be careful!
>>
No. 973355 ID: 2c5282
File 159589072477.png - (163.04KB , 900x800 , 5.png )
973355

It doesn’t take long for it to find several matches for you, though you have to remove several of them for a few reasons, the most common lacking a picture. If they aren’t even willing to take a picture then you can’t really bother with them, can you? In the end, you’re left with six profiles that caught your interests…

---------------------------
User: DragonKnight
Name: Sir Ztolteskanx tol Xai.
Species: Raolme. (Quadrupedal Reptile)
Gender: Male.
Age: 24.
Size: Height: 1,25m. Length: 2.25m.
Likes: Freedom, to be able to do what I want, talking to someone as an equal.
Dislikes: Too many responsibilities, nosy family member.

:TristanBC: Huh… that’s some very specific likes and dislikes… though I dig the bowtie.

---------------------------
User: GamerBug
Name: Xi’ankh Detadon.
Species: Tuul. (Bipedal insect)
Gender: Female.
Age: 23
Size: Body Size: 75m3. Drone Size: 67cm.
Likes: Games, roleplaying, hanging out.
Dislikes: Liars and their lying mouths!

:TristanBC: Wait, that can’t be right? Is she the size of a fucking house?

---------------------------
User: EternalWatchman
Name: Urû Vol.
Species: Flaûgnir (Quadrupedal winged Siliconian)
Gender: Male.
Age: 38.
Size: 2,15m.
Likes: Flying, watching the sun rise, taking it easy.
Dislikes: Bad weather but especially rain, being in a hurry.

:TristanBC: Flying? That’s sound really… wait… the fuck is a Siliconian? Are they a freaking rock?

---------------------------
User: PrettyGirl28
Name: Qarka Soulfeaster
Species: Khrax (Limbed snake)
Gender: Female.
Age: 28.
Size: 4,27m
Likes: Cute stuff, calm music, blood, still living meat, flowers and animals.
Dislikes: Blood, scary things and things that are loud.

:TristanBC: …is that a massive claw I see in the picture? …heh, wicked.

---------------------------
User: Shifter
Name: Etële
Species: Wirnëahy (Liquid)
Gender: Male, but I can change.
Age: 32
Size: N/A
Likes: Whatever you want it to be, babe.
Dislikes: Whatever you don’t like, babe.

:TristanBC: …I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be intrigued or worried…

---------------------------
User: LadyInBlue
Name: Madame Zaliasquenska tatil Xai Lentazin, chu tertal o Ankh, High seat of Etrall, chu Matriarch de zartel o Xaito, first of her name.
Species: Raolme. (Quadrupedal Reptile)
Gender: Lady.
Age: 438.
Size: Height: 1,15m. Length: 2.05m
Likes: A drink, a nice conversation and a few friends to share the moment with. Also classical music, art and other small, beautiful things life might offer.
Dislikes: People that aren’t honest with themselves and incompetent fools.

:TristanBC: Hmm… she seems classy… or at least rich…
:MelBC: Tris? Are you talking to yourself again?
:TristanBC: Fuck yeah, I am. Now leave me alone, Mel, I’m busy.

Hmm… you really don’t have the time to check them all out... but with whom do you start?

>It's time to become the ultimate bottom.
Well… maybe the ultimate power bottom… heh…
>>
No. 973357 ID: 0fae41

Xi'ankh. It's time to make a house call.
>>
No. 973359 ID: 62e4df

Zal. Time to see this version of best girl.

(jokes, they're all best girl)
>>
No. 973360 ID: 2aa5f0

well your thing is music, and two of them like music, so I say either soulfeaster or Zalia
>>
No. 973361 ID: 6e6f32

Etele
O Rly?
This deserves... Exploration.
>>
No. 973362 ID: 4854ef

Xi'ankh. She can't actually be the size of a house right? Must be some mistake of editing.
>>
No. 973365 ID: 4f51b2

>>973355
Sir
>>
No. 973366 ID: e19a40

>Etële
>…I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be intrigued or worried…

You should be very worried. You have to be way too courageous to go for a profile that sound so much like a serial killer trap.
Don't get me wrong, if this is genuine it's one of the best options. The problem is that so far you can't tell anything about this person and neither will the police be able to if you disappear.



Speaking of dangerous...

>Qarka Soulfeaster

Are you feeling adventurous? This one seem to have equal chances of finding you cute or delicious and of loving your music or hating your noise.

Pick this one. From all the options she is the most likely to end up liking you for who you are.
>>
No. 973367 ID: 36784c

>>973354
>if you actually gave a rat’s ass…
So you don’t give your own ass about the ship model?

>>973355
Two of them seem to like music, but would your music be considered too loud and not calm for Qarka? And would your music not be considered classical to Madame Zaliasquenska tatil Xai Le-*bites tongue* fuck! That name is hard to pronounce!

>Pick date
Go with Sir. He sounds like he’s trying to get out from under his family. He might even be a fellow rebel, like you!
>>
No. 973369 ID: 7cc58f

>>973355
Go with DragonKnight
>>
No. 973372 ID: f3f534

>>973355
As much as I want to choose one of the original ladies, I'd rather pick someone new this time. We can always come back to them later.

I say we should pick Urû Vol.

……isn't our buddy Mel into nerd things? Maybe we could try to convince him to make an account on this dating website and try to hook him up with GamerBug. Then we can ask him if she's actually the size of a house or not.
>>
No. 973375 ID: b1b4f3

What kind of music do you play? If it's loud then I guess Qarka is a bad match. If you wouldn't mind playing some smooth, calming synth for her then it's a good match.

You're a rebel, so it sounds like Ztolteskanx is a good match.
>>
No. 973384 ID: 62e4df

Also, compare Sir Ztolteskanx tol Xai's name and Madame Zaliasquenska tatil Xai Lentazin's. Being new here, you can't tell if "Xai" is a family name, but there's a possibility that the two are related.
>>
No. 973392 ID: a38353

Go for Dragonknight.
>>
No. 973401 ID: 864e49

>>973346
Yeah my biggest problem with the old quest was that we were just TOO pathetic.

>>973355
First choice: Etële, lets fuck some water!
Second choice: Urû Vol, lets get fucked by a rock!

And don't be an asshole to Mel. You know what it's like to be treated like shit.
>>
No. 973417 ID: 677406

>>973355
Etële
Let's check out the shapeshifter, find out decisively whether to be intrigued or worried

ALteratively, Ztolteskanx
>>
No. 973420 ID: 9f00f4

>>973360
Seconded
>>
No. 973422 ID: ce39da

It's looking like bedding any of these guys effectively is going to be a tall (if adventurous) order. Be sure to look up the physiology - both what they eat and what they excrete - of whoever you pick before showing up.

Personally, my vote's for Sir. He seems like a fellow rebel. Might have drama related to Madame. (Soul's a close second since they like music, and the whole dietary thing would have to refer to nonsentient animals (else they wouldn't be allowed to live among other sentients), though the size difference would have the opposite problem of GamerBug.) BTW, I assume you've already weeded out everyone with incompatible sexuality? Feel free to be a power-bottom on the second or third date, but don't be crass on the first, and try to stay away from BDSM levels of power - you seem like a dom, and I don't think he'd appreciate being a sub.

Meanwhile, Shifter's likes and dislikes send up a huge red flag; they aren't interested in sharing their desires, only to conform to yours. Any relationship you have with them will be shallow and one-sided unless you confront them about that at some point, assuming a date's even what they want out of you. (Just a word of advice in case this one wins; not voting for it myself, though.)

Ooh, though, we totally should encourage Mel to meet with GamerBug - sure, she isn't sexually compatible in a conventional way, but if they both like to roleplay, they could do some LAN party dates. Maybe have some masturbatory improv storytime later down the road. (Do tell him to do his research on her kind's culture if he bites, of course - wouldn't want him to write the wrong line.)
>>
No. 973436 ID: 2c5282
File 159597485727.png - (95.02KB , 700x550 , 6.png )
973436

>So you don’t give your own ass about the ship model?
Exactly! If you’re going to give away your own fucking ass, then you need more than just some bloody cheap plastic toy. At least start with some dinner and some shitty movie or some bollocks.
>It's looking like bedding any of these guys effectively is going to be a tall (if adventurous) order. Be sure to look up the physiology - both what they eat and what they excrete - of whoever you pick before showing up.
You’ll make sure it safe before you go on the date, don’t you worry. Though, part of the excitement is going in blind, isn’t it?
>I assume you've already weeded out everyone with incompatible sexuality?
Isn’t that automatic? You’re pretty sure that’s automatic…
>Feel free to be a power-bottom on the second or third date, but don't be crass on the first, and try to stay away from BDSM levels of power - you seem like a dom, and I don't think he'd appreciate being a sub.
Hey, you’re flexible. No matter if they want a power bottom, a normal bottom or someone on top, you’re sure you can please them. Also, where did the BDSM thing come from? You’re not even into that shit?

>Etële, lets fuck some water!
While they are described as being a liquid life form, you don’t think they’ll be like water… maybe more like… jelly? Or maybe like syrup… hmm… you can’t help but wonder if they are sticky or not now…
>You should be very worried. You have to be way too courageous to go for a profile that sound so much like a serial killer trap.
It does sound very much suspect, yeah… but it can’t hurt to just message him... her… them? He said he was male, so you guess he’s a… well, he? But yeah, sending him a message won’t hurt… but you can do that later.
>Shifter's likes and dislikes send up a huge red flag; they aren't interested in sharing their desires, only to conform to yours. Any relationship you have with them will be shallow and one-sided unless you confront them about that at some point, assuming a date's even what they want out of you.
…you know, this is starting to sound like too much fucking work just to get your curiosity sated. Maybe you won’t message them at all…

>Urû Vol, let’s get fucked by a rock!
Would that mean… heh… that he’s going to be ROCK HARD? Hehe… heh… that was fucking horrible…
>Xi'ankh. It's time to make a house call.
She can't actually be the size of a house right? She must have written it in wrong. M3 must be… square meters, so maybe she accidently wrote the size of her apartment down?

>Qarka Soulfeaster. Are you feeling adventurous? This one seem to have equal chances of finding you cute or delicious and of loving your music or hating your noise.
While those claws look thrilling, you don’t like the fifty fifty chance of you being eaten. Maybe you should reread that warning text you saw from before… yeah, you definitely need to reread that thing before you meet any of these aliens in person.
>What kind of music do you play? If it's loud then I guess Qarka is a bad match. If you wouldn't mind playing some smooth, calming synth for her then it's a good match.
You’d like to think that you’re part of an intergalactic synth pop electro-funk band from outer space... so none of your songs are really too loud or scary…
>the whole dietary thing would have to refer to nonsentient animals (else they wouldn't be allowed to live among other sentients).
There’s no fucking way they have aliens around here eating other aliens. That wouldn’t simply work, would it?

>Madame Zaliasquenska tatil Xai Le-*bites tongue* fuck! That name is hard to pronounce!
...she’s called Madame Zalia under her picture, so you’re going to call her that as well. But yeah, she is the kind of lady that likes her titles, apparently.
>Compare Sir Ztolteskanx tol Xai's name and Madame Zaliasquenska tatil Xai Lentazin's.
They do seem familiar, but you can’t really tell because those Raolme names are tongue twisters if you’ve ever seen them. Hmm… maybe they are siblings? After all, she’s only… err… only… why does her profile say that she’s over 400 years old? Can that really be true?


>Go for Dragonknight.
He does seem to be handsome looking, even with the lack of eyes… and you did like his bowtie. Also, he’s an actual Sir, which is just kind of badass… yeah, you think you’ll send him a message, see if he’s interested.
>He sounds like he’s trying to get out from under his family. He might even be a fellow rebel, like you!
People who call themselves rebels seldom are. But it does sound like he wants to have some fun, so that’s a huge fucking positive. Either way, you’ve marked him as being interesting on the site, so you’ll just need to wait and see if he response.

>Don't be an asshole to Mel. You know what it's like to be treated like shit.
Hey, you’re not a fucking asshole to Mel! He’s just a bit annoying at time… but… shit, maybe you were being an asswipe.
>Isn't our buddy Mel into nerd things? Maybe we could try to convince him to make an account on this dating website and try to hook him up with GamerBug.
He’s not really your buddy, he’s just your roommate. You didn’t meet him until you traveled here, so you haven’t actually known him for more than a week and a half. He definitely needs to get laid, though, and you’re the perfect fucking guy to help him! Well, the only bollock here to help him, not counting the muscle head that also lives here, but still.
:TristanBC: Hey, Mel, check this shit out.
:MelBC: Huh? W-wasn’t you busy just a moment ago?
:TristanBC: Yeah, I fucking was and I still fucking am, but I decided to share this busy shit with you.
:MelBC: What is that? Some kind of game?
:TristanBC: It’s a fucking dating site, you dork, for finding fucking aliens interested in fucking interspecies fucking! Well, it starts with dates, but you know where those things can go, right?
:MelBC: Err… t-that’s… um… n-neat…?
:TristanBC: And look, here’s a cute little bug interested in dork stuff just like you. I mean, even if you don’t want to take her on a date, you can always nerd out together as friends?
:MelBC: Um… I g-guess?
:TristanBC: Want some help setting up a profile, mate?
:MelBC: I t-think I can d-do that on my own… I… err… j-just need some time to digest this… and… err… I’m n-not sure about the… um… bug?
>Then we can ask him if she's actually the size of a house or not.
:MelBC: …she’s what?
:TristanBC: It has to be a mistype, but it says that she’s 75 square meters big.
:MelBC: Can’t you just look up her species and see if it’s true?
:TristanBC: Eh, that would be fucking boring as shit, though.

:MelBC: Um… why is there a red heart over the first one?
:TristanBC: Oh sweet, he returned my notice of interest! Let’s see what he has to say…
:MelBC: …wait, he?
-----------------------
:ZtoltBC: [Greetings]
:ZtoltBC: [I got your request?]
:ZtoltBC: [I don’t know what I need to do now. It’s my first time doing something like this?]
:TristanBC: [Hey, no fucking sweat, I’m new to this too, mate.]
:ZtoltBC: [Mate?]
:TristanBC: [The names Tristan Dowe btw.]
:TristanBC: [And you are Sir Ztolt?]
:ZtoltBC: [I prefer to be addressed as just Zstolt.]
:ZtoltBC: [I dislike the Sir part greatly.]
:ZtoltBC: [And what does your btw title stand for?]
:TristanBC: [It’s “By the way”, not a title.]
:TristanBC: [Also, why not Sir? It’s pretty sweet.]
:TristanBC: [Makes you sound like a fucking badass ready to kick some ass!]

:TristanBC: Hey, Mel, by the way, what does Quadrupedal mean?
:MelBC: Um… well… Quadrupedalism is a form of locomotion in animals, often known as quadruped, which means “four feet” in-
:TristanBC: They walk on all fours, is that it?
:MelBC: Err… yes?
:TristanBC: Sweet.

:ZtoltBC: [It would be a splendid title if I actually earned it.]
:ZtoltBC: [I was just born in to the right family.]
:TristanBC: [Then it’s time to earn that bad boy?]
:ZtoltBC: [Because there is so many acts of bravery to do around here to earn it.]
:ZtoltBC: [Besides, I’m not really that kind of person.]
:ZtoltBC: [I mean, fucking badass.]
:ZtoltBC: [I’m not fucking badass.]
:TristanBC: [Hey, anyone can be fucking badass if they try.]
:ZtoltBC: [I rather stay not fucking badass if that means not getting into mortal danger.]
:ZtoltBC: [I mean.]
:ZtoltBC: [Not getting into deep feces?]
:TristanBC: [Deep shit.]
:ZtoltBC: [Deep shit, yes.]

:ZtoltBC: [Btw, can you send a picture of you that I can actually hear?]
:TristanBC: [I already have a picture for you on my profile?]
:ZtoltBC: [I don’t have eyes. I need to hear your shape.]
:ZtoltBC: [There should be an option to take a pic with sonarsync on the datapad.]
:TristanBC: [I am sure it is here somewhere?]

:TristanBC: Hey, Mel, you know how you can take something called sonarsync with this thing?
:MelBC: Um… no, sorry… err… I guess I can look it up?
:TristanBC: That would be fucking awesome, mate. Thanks.

:ZtoltBC: [While you try and find that]
:ZtoltBC: [This is supposed to be a date, yes?]
:TristanBC: [That is the current agreement, yes.]
:ZtoltBC: [We start with a dinner at this five star restaurant where I can get a table at]
:ZtoltBC: [Followed by a play in the theater]
:ZtoltBC: [Then a kiss on the check at the door before parting ways.]
:TristanBC: [That seemed absurdly formulaic?]
:TristanBC: [Also, I do not think theater is my fucking style.]
:TristanBC: [Sounds boring as fuck]
:TristanBC: [No offence]
:ZtoltBC: [IT IS!]
:ZtoltBC: [BORING!]
:ZtoltBC: [AS FUCK!]
:ZtoltBC: [Yet that is what I was forced to endure every time I tried a date before!]
:TristanBC: [Forced?]
:ZtoltBC: [My family wants to decide who I have a date it and how it do it.]
:ZtoltBC: [It’s horrid.]
:TristanBC: [It sucks balls?]
:ZtoltBC: [I suck all the balls! That’s how much it sucks!]
:TristanBC: [And what about me?]
:TristanBC: [Something tells me I’m not on their fucking approved dating list.]
:ZtoltBC: [They don’t know about you]
:TristanBC: [So I’m the secret date then? Sweet.]
:ZtoltBC: [It is indeed very sugary and sweet.]
:ZtoltBC: [It is also very sour as I have no idea what to do instead.]
:ZtoltBC: [What do you do on a date?]

:MelBC: Err… Tris, it’s that button you need to press to do the… um… sonar thingy?
>>
No. 973441 ID: b1b4f3

>>973436
Okay time to profile picture. Make sure Mel isn't in the frame, get a good pose, and push the button.
>what to do on date
He finds plays boring so find something more active or engaging. Like... is there a flea market or something you could go to and browse around? Could also go for a walk or a hike somewhere interesting. Are there any festivals? You could see if there are any uh, theme park like things, even if it's a single event like an escape room.
Give him a few options for restaurants. How different does he want his dining to be? Greasy spoon? Decent quality buffet? Some weird gimmicky restaurant? Hmm, how about a revolving sushi bar, or something similar at least where you can pick out small dishes from a conveyor belt? Definitely make sure it's not high class cuisine.
Then later you can do more than a single kiss. Don't have to go that far on a first date but extended makeouts are definitely on the table.
>>
No. 973443 ID: ce39da

[Oh, found the button. Sending you a pic now.] Have Mel walk you through it, but also make sure he's out of the shot. [How do I sound?]

For the record, if you don't remember inputting that info about your sexuality, then it's probably something you should ask him about, like [Before I forget, are you cool with me being a dude?]

[Anyway, we both agree with theatre sucking balls, but a meal's pretty much required on most dates. We prolly don't wanna get seen together at those 5-Star places you were talking about, but that doesn't mean we should skimp on the food. Lemme see if I can't find us a nice 4-Star place I'll be able to fit into better.]
>>
No. 973444 ID: 36784c

>>973436
You use the word “fucking” a little too much. Might want to cut down on that because it’s a little weird to be using that word 5 times in the same sentence.

>date
You’re gonna need to rely on Zstolt to show around since you’re still really new to the space station. And ask him where he wants to go for a date, not where he’s been told he’s supposed to go for a date.

>Err…Tris, it’s that button you need to press to do the…um…sonar thingy?
“Thanks, buddy!”

Take a sonarsync picture of yourself and send it over to Zstolt.
>>
No. 973445 ID: 2aa5f0

>Err… Tris, it’s that button you need to press to do the… um… sonar thingy?
thanks Mel
[push sonar thingy]

As him what are some things he DOES like and try to figure something out from there. Also send sonar pic and ask if you did it right.
>>
No. 973454 ID: a38353

Thank Mel, make sure he's not in the picture when you take it. And find out what Zstolt would Actually like to do for a date instead of whats expected of him.
>>
No. 973467 ID: 62e4df

If he's not enthusiastic about his usual hangouts, why not show him yours? You probably don't know much about the area yet, but you've probably found a pub you like, right? You could have some drinks, eat some pub food, then go see what sights there are to see. You could even ask him to show you around.
>>
No. 973472 ID: ba56e6

Ask if he wants to go to a rock concert. That's more your style, but if he sees with sound it might be a real trip for him.
>>
No. 973483 ID: 2c5282
File 159605990419.png - (133.65KB , 900x800 , 7.png )
973483

>You use the word “fucking” a little too much. Might want to cut down on that because it’s a little weird to be using that word 5 times in the same sentence.
Hey, that was kind of the joke. Also, you really like the word fuck. Fuck fuck fuckily fuck… okay, maybe you’re saying it bit too much at times, you admit…
>You’re still really new to the space station.
What space station? You’re on some alien colony on some planet that’s located near the edge of this massive alien empire spanning most of the galaxy. It is kind of a lot to take in now that you think about it, honestly.
>Then later you can do more than a single kiss. Don't have to go that far on a first date but extended makeouts are definitely on the table.
You’re willing to go all the way to the goal post if that’s an option, but you won’t force Ztolt into something he doesn’t want. If he just want a kiss, then a kiss he’ll get… but if he want to drag you home and have some fucking fun… well… we’ll see…


>“Thanks, buddy!”
:MelBC: D-don’t mention it… um… pal? So… d-do you need any more help or can I leave now?
:TristanBC: Huh? Where are you in such a bloody hurry?
:MelBC: Oh… y-you know… got stuff to do…
:TristanBC: Like checking out the site I showed you?
:MelBC: Ye- I mean… err… no, of course not… um… bye?
:TristanBC: Have fun, heh…

>You’re gonna need to rely on Zstolt to show around since you’re still really new to this planet.
:ZtoltBC: [So the deaf will be leading the deaf then.]
:ZtoltBC: [I guess if you have some idea on what we will do, I can try and provide a location for it?]
>Ask him where he wants to go for a date, not where he’s been told he’s supposed to go for a date.
:ZtoltBC: [Do not turn this around on me! I asked you first!]
:ZtoltBC: [Besides, I already told you, I am not sure.]
:ZtoltBC: [I am shit out of ideas.]

>Could also go for a walk or a hike somewhere interesting.
:ZtoltBC: [There is the park in high town that has some really beautiful vistas, especially in the evening.]
:ZtoltBC: [But walking around seem a bit dull.]
:ZtoltBC: [I mean]
:ZtoltBC: [Boring as fuck?]
:ZtoltBC: [No offence?]
:TristanBC: [It is a great opportunity to talk and get to know each other and shit, though.]
:ZtoltBC: [That is true.]
:ZtoltBC: [Yes, maybe a walk in the park would make a decent date after all.]
>is there a flea market or something you could go to and browse around?
:ZtoltBC: [I can’t say if there is any markets like that around. I do not really keep my nose out for it.]
:TristanBC: [How about a festival or something then?]
:ZtoltBC: [Isn’t the culture festival this weekend here in high town?]
:ZtoltBC: [Yes, it is. It is starting today in fact.]
:ZtoltBC: [It is filled with all kind of old stuff from the days before we traveled the stars and shit like that.]
:TristanBC: [That does kind of sound freaking sweet.]
:ZtoltBC: [I haven’t been there since I was a kit]
:ZtoltBC: [Though I usually aren’t that interested in that shit]
:ZtoltBC: [But it does sound, as you say, freaking sweet to go there with you.]
:TristanBC: [Aw, how sweet of you.]
:ZtoltBC: [Don’t make this sour.]
>You could see if there are any uh, theme park like things, even if it's a single event like an escape room.
:ZtoltBC: [Why would you escape a room? What’s in the room?]
:TristanBC: [It’s full of fucking puzzles and shit. Then you solve them and find a way out on a timer?]
:ZtoltBC: [I don’t think we have anything like that.]
:ZtoltBC: [There is this scary mansion thing in low town]
:ZtoltBC: [Never been there but I heard it’s alright?]
:ZtoltBC: [That’s like an escape house?]
:TristanBC: [That’s completely different.]
:TristanBC: [But I does sound kind of fun!]
:ZtoltBC: [I don’t know. I’ve never liked scary shit.]
:TristanBC: [Aren’t you the brave Sir Ztolt?]
:ZtoltBC: [Who bravely ran away. Yeah, that’s me.]
:ZtoltBC: [But I guess if you’re there I’ll be alright?]
>If he's not enthusiastic about his usual hangouts, why not show him yours? You probably don't know much about the area yet, but you've probably found a pub you like, right?
:TristanBC: [Oh, hey, actually I do know a place. It’s not a big place, but it might just do!]
:ZtoltBC: [I will need a better description than it’s not a big place, Tristan.]
:TristanBC: [It’s kind of a bar.]
:TristanBC: [Where a bunch of different alien bands play.]
:TristanBC: [So you listen and drink and shit.]
:TristanBC: [My band have gotten a steady gig there twice a week.]
:ZtoltBC: [You are in a band?]
:TristanBC: [Yeah, I’m in a freaking band, mate!]
:ZtoltBC: [Then I will need to listen to you play sometime.]
:ZtoltBC: [But that can wait.]
:ZtoltBC: [And while I do love listening to music, some alien instruments and songs can be outright painful to hear.]
:ZtoltBC: [Do you know who will play?]
:TristanBC: [I have no fucking idea, no… and I don’t think I have anyway to look it up either.]
:ZtoltBC: [I guess we can always leave if things go wrong?]

:TristanBC: [So, what sounds the most awesome? Take a trip through that culture festival, get scared shitless at that hunted mansion, go to the bar and listen to some music will getting shitfaced or just have a calm walk in the part? I’m up for all of them.]
:ZtoltBC: [I can’t really decide.]
:TristanBC: [Aw, come on, you’re leaving me with the decision making again?]
:ZtoltBC: [As I said before. I have no fucking idea what I’m doing and what will work as a date.]
:ZtoltBC: [So I will leave it in your hands.]
:ZtoltBC: [I trust you to make it fun.]
>>
No. 973484 ID: 2c5282
File 159605991330.png - (70.77KB , 700x550 , 8.png )
973484

>How different does he want his dining to be? Greasy spoon? Decent quality buffet? Some weird gimmicky restaurant? Hmm, how about a revolving sushi bar, or something similar at least where you can pick out small dishes from a conveyor belt? Definitely make sure it's not high class cuisine.
:ZtoltBC: [What is this sushi and why do you need to turn it over?]
:TristanBC: [It’s raw fish.]
:ZtoltBC: [I’m sad to say, but I cannot eat that.]
:ZtoltBC: [At least without making our date a short one.]
:ZtoltBC: [I am an insectivore. We eat insects.]
:TristanBC: [Oh, that does limit the options a bit.]
:ZtoltBC: [Also, I rather not eat with greasy cutlery, so no greasy spoons or forks.]
:ZtoltBC: [I am also not sure about what kind of gimmicks there are out there for restaurants.]
:ZtoltBC: [How about this]
:ZtoltBC: [Do you know somewhere simple we can eat?]
:TristanBC: [Well, I know this café nearby that’s fucking sweet, but that’s more of a lunch place?]
:ZtoltBC: [Excellent!]
:ZtoltBC: [Then we shall meet for lunch!]
:TristanBC: [Lunch?]
:ZtoltBC: [Yes, lunch.]
:ZtoltBC: [It is almost lunch time, is it not?]
:ZtoltBC: [That way we can meet in person and discuss what we shall eat later.]
:ZtoltBC: [Also, I can’t wait to hear your lovely visage]
:ZtoltBC: [Though I only assume that it’s lovely]
:ZtoltBC: [As I still haven’t been able to hear how you look.]
:TristanBC: [OH RIGHT! THE PICTURE!]

>Okay time to profile picture. Make sure Mel isn't in the frame, get a good pose, and push the button.
As Mel has already left the room a while ago, you won’t need to worry about him. Instead, you simply lift up your data pad, make a cheesy pose and press the button. While you were expecting a flash of light or something like that, instead the only thing you heard was a really weird clicking sound. It sounded really out of place coming from the data pad… in fact; it sounded more like an insect? Either way, you can only hope you managed to take a decent picture.

:ZtoltBC: [By the endless dark!]
:ZtoltBC: [I mean]
:ZtoltBC: [Holy shit!]
:TristanBC: [So you got the picture?]
:ZtoltBC: [It is not what I expected.]
:ZtoltBC: [You are really cute!]
:ZtoltBC: [I mean, if you like being called cute?]
:ZtoltBC: [Otherwise you are a really beautiful gal.]
:TristanBC: [Gal? You do know I’m a dude, right?]
:ZtoltBC: [You are!?]
:TristanBC: [Yes? Is that a problem?]
:ZtoltBC: [No?]
:ZtoltBC: [It kind of make you cuter even?]
:ZtoltBC: [I am not used to men wearing makeup.]
:TristanBC: [You can hear that I have makeup?]
:ZtoltBC: [I am only guessing that it is makeup.]
:ZtoltBC: [Or do you have something else above your eyes?]
:ZtoltBC: [But still cute.]
>>
No. 973486 ID: b1b4f3

>>973484
Hah, sounds like you're scoring some points already.
Tell him he looks pretty handsome himself.

>where to go
Well, it's not great to get too drunk on the first date, especially if you're not sure if sex is on the table.
Go to the festival! At worst it's slightly less boring than a walk in the park. It's reasonable to pick a safe bet for the first date, and try something riskier for future dates, after you've built up some goodwill.
>>
No. 973488 ID: 9f00f4

Insectivore... can he eat smaller crustaceans? Shrimp or Crayfish?
>>
No. 973489 ID: a38353

Tell him we think he looks cute too.
>>
No. 973490 ID: 9f00f4

Wonder if he can hear inside bodies and through clothing, like with an active sonar or ultrasonic scan or something like that? Maybe something to ask at an appropriate time?
>>
No. 973491 ID: ba56e6

>>973483
How about meeting up for lunch, and then later you can hit the bar. If the music ends up being too much for him, take a walk in the park after to chat after the alcohol has loosened lips.
>>
No. 973492 ID: f56a2b

>>973491
This looks like a good mix.
>>
No. 973498 ID: 7cc58f

>>973491
Do this
>>
No. 973501 ID: 62e4df

Since he asked, confirm for him that you like being called cute and that you are wearing make-up.

>>973491
This is perfect.
>>
No. 973541 ID: 2c5282
File 159615213963.png - (91.50KB , 700x550 , 9.png )
973541

>Hah, sounds like you're scoring some points already.
You were caught by surprise how positively he reacted to seeing your picture… but of course he thought you were cute. Yeah, you’re super cute! Sure… you’ll accept that. Cute. That works. It’s not what you expected but it works.

>Since he asked, confirm for him that you like being called cute and that you are wearing make-up.
:ZtoltBC: [Then I shall continue calling you cute.]
:ZtoltBC: [Also, good to know what is and isn’t originally part of your body.]
:ZtoltBC: [I have never seen your species before, so it can get confusing.]
>Tell him we think he looks cute too.
:ZtoltBC: [Cute?]
:ZtoltBC: [I do not look cute.]
:TristanBC: [Then how about handsome?]
:ZtoltBC: [Handsome is better.]
:TristanBC: [I really love your bowtie, it makes you look fucking cute.]
:TristanBC: [I mean handsome.]
:TristanBC: [It makes you look fucking handsome]
:ZtoltBC: [Honestly, I’ve never liked it myself.]
:ZtoltBC: [But if you think it makes me handsome, even fuckingly so, then I might need to reconsider.]

>How about meeting up for lunch, and then later you can hit the bar. If the music ends up being too much for him, take a walk in the park after to chat after the alcohol has loosened lips.
>Go to the festival! At worst it's slightly less boring than a walk in the park.
:ZtoltBC: [So... the plan is:]
:ZtoltBC: [A light lunch at this café.]
:ZtoltBC: [Then to this bar.]
:ZtoltBC: [And maybe a walk in the part or at the festival if everything goes well?]
:TristanBC: [That’s the fucking plan, mate.]
:ZtoltBC: [It does sound nice.]
:ZtoltBC: [I mean]
:ZtoltBC: [Fucking sugary?]
:TristanBC: [Sweet.]
:ZtoltBC: [Fucking sweet.]
:TristanBC: [Just tell me if the music gets to loud at the bar later and I’m sure it will be fine.]
:ZtoltBC: [Yes]
:ZtoltBC: [I will]
:ZtoltBC: [If that is the case]
:TristanBC: [Good.]
:ZtoltBC: [Yes. Good.]
:TristanBC: […]
:ZtoltBC: […]


:ZtoltBC: [Confound it]
:ZtoltBC: [I mean]
:ZtoltBC: [Shit]
:TristanBC: [What’s wrong?]
:ZtoltBC: [Siblings are getting cranky that I’m hogging the bath.]
:TristanBC: [You’re taking a bath?]
:ZtoltBC: [It’s the only place I get left alone in this fucking place.]
:ZtoltBC: [But I need to cut this short.]
:ZtoltBC: [So let’s do lunch at that café?]
:TristanBC: [I’ll forward the address to you. It’s a bloody nice place, so I’m sure you’ll love it.]
:ZtoltBC: [I sure I will.]
:ZtoltBC: [So let’s meet there soon]
:ZtoltBC: [Let’s say]
:ZtoltBC: [2 hours?]
:TristanBC: [Meet there in 2 hours? That sounds fine.]
:ZtoltBC: [It will be a bit of a late lunch, but I’m sure you don’t mind]
:ZtoltBC: [But I’ll see you in 2 hours then.]
:ZtoltBC: [May the rivers flow with you.]
:ZtoltBC: [I mean]
:ZtoltBC: [See you fucking later?]
:TristanBC: [See you then.]

…and you have a date.
>>
No. 973542 ID: 2c5282
File 159615214858.png - (52.43KB , 700x550 , 10.png )
973542

Oh shit. You have a date.

And you’re going to fuck it up, like you always fuck these things up. You are a fuckup, and you know it. Or you can make it work. Somehow. Just… act confident. Pretend to be confident. Like you always do. Keep telling yourself you’re confident, that you can do this, and sooner or later you’ll believe the lies. You can do this. You won’t fuck it up. This time you will actually succeed in fucking charming the lady… or the gentleman… as is the case… shit...

And in two hours!? You were expecting tomorrow or even the day after that, not in two hours! How are you supposed to be able to both calm down and get ready in just two hours!? Ugh… deep breaths, Tristan, deep breathes… you can do this… just act… confident… yeah… confident… freak…

>Insectivore... can he eat smaller crustaceans? Shrimp or Crayfish?
You have no idea! Maybe you can ask Mel if he… but you’ve already bothered that dork way to much already. Ugh, you’re going to fuck this up, aren’t you? You’re going to make him eat something he can’t stand… or you’re going to eat something you can’t stand? Because insects… ugh…
>Wonder if he can hear inside bodies and through clothing, like with an active sonar or ultrasonic scan or something like that? Maybe something to ask at an appropriate time?
Wait, how powerful is their hearing anyway? Or their smell? Is your smell going to be a problem? And the sounds you make? He won’t be able to see through you clothes, though… right? That doesn’t sound very plausible… but this is something you’ll need to worry about. Smell and noise… two more ways you can fuck everything up, as always.
>Well, it's not great to get too drunk on the first date, especially if you're not sure if sex is on the table.
Your nerves needs some fucking courage, but you get so easily shitfaced, don’t you? Ugh, going to the bar was probably a fuckup. You’re really bad with alcohol… though you really need a glass or two right now, not to mention all the other options wasn’t any better, really.

Maybe this was a shit idea…

No, Tristan, focus. Just focus on what you need to do before the date. You need to get cleaned. That’s easy. But he he’s blind, so smell is important to him, so… maybe you should skip putting on your usual cologne? Or maybe he’ll prefer something a bit more strong smelling? Then you need to dress the part. But dress how? You don’t really look ready for a date, do you? And he said he liked the makeup? Maybe you should add some more? Or did he actually say that? Maybe it’s better to remove it? Ugh, stop second guessing yourself… what more… you need… what more shit do you need for a date?

Maybe you just need to crawl under your blanket and pretend this never happened?
>>
No. 973544 ID: b1b4f3

>>973542
Take bath, put on a *little* cologne, to play things safe while keeping your routine intact.
Check your chat log to reaffirm that he said your makeup made you look cuter, and... don't change it. I guess you'll have to reapply it after the bath, but just... put on the same kind.
Clothes... wear something nice, but casual since it's a lunch date and not a dinner date. Maybe something a little more feminine than you usually wear, but not enough that people would stare? Whatever makes you feel comfortable with who you are. This is an alien colony which means very few will know that it's unusual, much less something to judge you over.

>other things?
Try to calm down. Get a drink of water, use the restroom, make sure your nails are nice, brush your teeth, and let Mel know you're going out.
>>
No. 973545 ID: 4854ef

Little colgne, keep the makeup cause he liked it. Make sure to BATHE. If smells are important, you don't want to saturate things so much that you are smellin like you walked through a perfume store during rush hour.
>>
No. 973546 ID: a38353

You're overthinking it. take a moment to calm down.

I'm sure if during your date any sounds were bothering him he'd let you know, same as you'd do if say something with you albinism was bothering you. as for food, you're on an alien planet, everywhere's probably got at least something for some one.

Just get cleaned up and get ready, you have 2 hours.
>>
No. 973548 ID: e19a40

He isn't familiar with your specie, so whatever you do he will assume is part of your culture until told otherwise. Dress how you would usually dress and act like you would usually act for he will not know what normal means for your kind.
He is already making an effort to incorporate your speech patters on his own, so if you intent to change your behavior in any way limit yourself to mimic his speech patters the same way he is doing. Things like replacing "blind" with "deaf" or using "endless dark" as an exclamation.
>>
No. 973549 ID: f56a2b

>>973542
You've already secured a date! That's more than some can even hope for. Your date wants to meet you, so in a way, you're already desirable and doing things right.

>You're going to make him eat something he can't stand, or he's going to make you eat something you can't stand
No. You're going out for lunch, and if the dish doesn't agree with you, you just move on to another one. He's sensible enough to do the same.

>anxiety, calming down before the date
Clear your mind, and just focus on deep breathing in and out, until the anxiety clears, thinking about how you're going to freshen up and the other things you'll do before your date. Do things one step at a time to get ready.

If you haven't bathed or hit the showers today, go do that real quick. Do whatever quick grooming you need to do, make sure your makeup is applied right the way you would have it on usually.

>maybe you should skip putting on your cologne
Look up, real quick, if your cologne's type of scent is distasteful to his species. If it is, you just dodged a bullet, go au natural. If it isn't go for it.

Zstolt wants someone to talk to as an equal. Don't worry about catering to his every exacting preference during the date, just show up in clothes you think look good to yourself.

>maybe you can ask Mel, but you've bothered that dork too much already.
No way, it's a simple question, and you should ask him. Surely he'll want to help.
>>
No. 973550 ID: 2aa5f0

I say take shower, get dressed like you're about to do a gig with your band and head on out. And the reason I'm saying put on your band gear is because I'm sure you try and look good while preforming and if the bar you're heading to recognizes you maybe they'll be a little friendly know that you're more or less a regular.

Oh and do you think you'll need your umbrella and shades, especially if this does turn into a walk or a trip at the fair it would really suck for the sun to ruin things but with the dome up you said it wasn't bothering you as much so... think it might be a good idea to bring them just to be safe?
>>
No. 973552 ID: ba56e6

>>973542
Just got to chill out. This guy wants to break out of his shell, live on the wild side. Take a quick shower and listen to some hard rock to psych yourself up and get in the mood, then get ready and go meet him.
>>
No. 973553 ID: b1b4f3

Also remember to leave early.
>>
No. 973554 ID: 62e4df

Most important factors are cleanliness, neatness, and honesty.

Make sure you're clean and well-groomed, but don't change your style. You want to be yourself here. Listen to him on the date, and hope that he'll listen to you. Confidence is good, but lying about who you are isn't. Focus on your positive aspects. Maybe it will go wrong and you will offend him, but the only guarantee of that is if you don't go.

I'm sure the restaurant will be able to cater to Raolme; I'd be more worried about yourself, but you'll never know until you try it.
>>
No. 973565 ID: 4f51b2

>>973542
Let's take a good shower first.
>>
No. 973579 ID: 864e49

>>973542
>>973544
Tristan: Try to calm down, fail, panic while taking shower.
Switch POV to Mel.
>>
No. 973590 ID: 0bc2ca

a shower will help you relax
>>
No. 973598 ID: 9f00f4

Well, when an ultrasound is given or the right type of sea creatures use their abilities to see into things, there's a feeling to it. The sound produces a physical vibration sensation in the part being scanned. It is an ACTIVE ability where sound has to be overtly emitted! So if you feel a strange tingling/vibration in certain parts of your body that you can't explain otherwise (perhaps because it's outside your normal range of hearing)... it might be a sonar/echolocation scan, maybe? ... Wait, don't those sea creatures use the scans erotically? Man, if he could do that, that would be AWESOME for bedroom stuff!
>>
No. 973649 ID: 2c5282
File 159631844010.png - (54.30KB , 700x550 , 11.png )
973649

>Switch POV to Mel.
As much as you wish to be someone that has it as easy as Mel has, you can’t. At least, not right now. You’ll simply have to wait for another thread to get his point of view.

>Confidence is good, but lying about who you are isn't.
And if you wish you were the lie you keep telling yourself? After all, you are a confident, handsome dude that takes no shit… and… you’re cute?
>You're overthinking it. Take a moment to calm down.
That’s right, you need to stop thinking about this shit to deeply and focus on the now instead. You might be a fuckup later, but right now you aren’t.
>You've already secured a date! That's more than some can even hope for. Your date wants to meet you, so in a way, you're already desirable and doing things right.
You’ve always found it rather easy to secure dates, the problem is actually getting through them. Usually you do something to fuck everything up… but just as often it’s already gone to crap because they expected someone else… either in your personality or your looks.

>Zstolt wants someone to talk to as an equal.
Which is the problem. He wants someone who is his equal…
>This guy wants to break out of his shell, live on the wild side.
Now that is something you might just be able to help him with. After all, you’ve always been bloody wild.
>if the bar you're heading to recognizes you maybe they'll be a little friendly know that you're more or less a regular.
Which is part why you suggested that place in particular. You know the fuckers that work there… well, some of them… but most importantly the bouncer.

>Most important factors are cleanliness, neatness, and honesty.
Cleanliness is freaking easy, neatness in your surroundings isn’t your thing most of the time but you usually keep yourself neat at the very least. As for honesty… well…
>A shower will help you relax.
A cold shower does soothe the soul as well as cleans it.
>Listen to some hard rock to psych yourself up and get in the mood.
The mood leans more toward Synth Rock, so you put some on while taking that shower.
>Make sure your nails are nice.
You polished them this morning, so they should be nice and soft.
>Brush your teeth.
Which you also did this morning, though it won’t fucking hurt to use some mouth wash. Better to have a minty fresh breath than one that reeks of dead shit.

>Keep the makeup cause he liked it.
He did say he liked it, didn’t he? Though… he had a hard time actually seeing… err… hearing it? Hmm... Will he even notice if you put on a bit of mascara? You usually don’t wear it but…
>Put on a *little* cologne, to play things safe while keeping your routine intact.
Yes, safe… you like safe when it comes to dates… safe is good… as far as you can get from fucking up, really.
>Look up, real quick, if your cologne's type of scent is distasteful to his species.
And you’ve already done your first fuckup by not checking that first! Luckily… or unluckily, you can’t find anything about this particularly scent at all. Of course, you can’t really understand what scents his species find distasteful either, with the exception of the usual things that most people think smells like shit. Well, there were a warning about powerful smells, but that’s about it…

>Get dressed like you're about to do a gig with your band.
You really don’t want to go around in costume all night… not to mention you don’t think Ztolt would appreciate it either. Besides, that thing is a nightmare to get shit out of, so no fucking thanks.
>Clothes... wear something nice, but casual since it's a lunch date and not a dinner date.
Your usual clothes are as casual as you can get, really… though of course you don’t really have any super nice shit to put on in the first place anyway.
>Maybe something a little more feminine than you usually wear, but not enough that people would stare? Whatever makes you feel comfortable with who you are.
Do you even have anything that feminine to wear? You do have some things that are more pink and purple. Yeah, no matter what the other fuckers says, you’ve always been able to rock the pink!

So it’s either that or the clothes you usually wear… or should you hurry and buy something new before the date? Hmm… he was wearing a bowtie in that picture, so maybe he’s expecting a suit? You don’t... do suits very well…


>Let Mel know you're going out.
You can hear him talking to himself in the other room, so you don’t even need to leave the bathroom to speak to him.
:TristanBC: Hey, Mel, what was that about talking to yourself you said earlier?
:MelBC: Huh!? I wasn- I mean, I… err… did… I’m s-sorry.
:TristanBC: No sweat, dude. You do you. Just wanted to say I’m going to bail soon, so lock up if you leave, you dig?
:MelBC: Err… sure… um… good luck?
>No way, it's a simple question about insectivore, and you should ask Mel. Surely he'll want to help.
:MelBC: What? Why would I know about alien diets? I mean… I’m pretty sure crustaceans aren’t insects, Tris? Why don’t you look it up yourself?
:TristanBC: Because I only understand like half the shit that they write in that freaking Archive thing of theirs!
:MelBC: Then ask them about what they eat?
:TristanBC: …I guess that works too? Thanks a bunch, mate.

>No. You're going out for lunch, and if the dish doesn't agree with you, you just move on to another one. He's sensible enough to do the same.
Right. He’s an adult, just like you. You don’t need to worry about him, as he will take care of himself. You need to stop thinking that this is like some badly written dating sim or something!
>I'm sure the restaurant will be able to cater to Raolme; I'd be more worried about yourself, but you'll never know until you try it.
They’ll probably have more food for him than they have for you, seeing as you’re the one they’ll find more alien. After all, you’re in their home, not the other way around. You are the alien… fuck, that’s kind of weird… shit man…
>I'm sure if during your date any sounds were bothering him he'd let you know, same as you'd do if say something with you albinism was bothering you.
Indeed, he is after all a human being who you can talk to and… well, he’s not human, but you get the idea.
>Oh and do you think you'll need your umbrella and shades?
You always have them in your bag, just in case.

>When an ultrasound is given or the right type of sea creatures use their abilities to see into things, there's a feeling to it. So if you feel a strange tingling/vibration in certain parts of your body that you can't explain otherwise it might be a sonar/echolocation scan, maybe?
Hmm… the only thing you experienced when you activated that Sonarsync crap was a weird sound, but that might change when you meet Ztolt in person.
>Wait, don't those sea creatures use the scans erotically? Man, if he could do that, that would be AWESOME for bedroom stuff!
That’s… err… heh, yeah, that would be awesome, wouldn’t it. And weird… but mostly sweet.

>Also remember to leave early.
You still have a full hour, so it’s still a bit too early to be leave early.

Let’s see… calmed the fuck down: Check. Cleaned up: Check. Solved the dress situation… well, you haven’t actually decided yet but… almost check?

Let’s see… what else… is there anything more you need to do before the date? Maybe grab a glass of liquid courage? Or have a quick wank. You’ve heard that supposed to be something you do before a date. Of course, you heard that from a terrible movie, but still… and aren’t you supposed to bring a gift or something? Hmm…
>>
No. 973653 ID: a38353

Don't bother bringing a gift, it's a bit too early for that kind of thing, you don't even know what kind of stuff he'd like yet.
>>
No. 973656 ID: 62e4df

Wear what you usually do, wear the make-up, don't worry about a gift right now. The real goal of this will be getting to know each other, so you can get a gift later once you have a better idea what he might like.
>>
No. 973659 ID: f56a2b

>liquid courage
No, save the social drinking for the date if you're going to.

>quick wank
Don't shoot your load just yet, we're running things tight on energy and drive as it is! We want to go into this with some mana.

>aren't you supposed to bring a gift
Zstolt wants to have a fun and interesting date. Gift giving and making yourself out to not be his equal are exactly how not to go.

Don't make a big deal out of his social status, just treat him as your equal, because in this situation you are: you're looking to get to know each other personally over the course of lunch.
>>
No. 973660 ID: e19a40


>Zstolt wants someone to talk to as an equal.
>Which is the problem. He wants someone who is his equal…

This is why I didn't vote for him. Guess people wanted bow tie dragon now rather than latter...


>You do have some things that are more pink and purple.
The color doesn't matter, you are dating a blind person.

>you heard that from a terrible movie
That movie suck and the advice was given by someone trying to sabotage the protagonist chances.

>liquid courage?
Didn't you said that you get shitface easily? Drunk people are only fun to hang around when you are also drunk, so don't start before Zstolt.

>supposed to bring a gift
Like flowers? That is pretty gay dude.
You could give him a trinket that serve as a conversation piece. Something like a deck of cards.
>>
No. 973663 ID: e19a40

>deck of cards
I just realize I made a terrible suggestion. Raolmes either can't see the cards content or can "see" the adversary hand.
>>
No. 973665 ID: b1b4f3

>>973649
Well, normal clothes are fine for a lunch date too. Just so long as you look good. The color doesn't matter, as someone else said, so... the style and condition is more important. Maybe material as well but we don't know what he likes in that respect.

Mascara could work but it shouldn't matter. He thought you looked really good with just eyeliner on. Leave it off.

Honestly, there's nothing you can do right now that will matter, if your problem is that you do/say something wrong during the date that fucks it up. I wonder though, is that even possible here? You're dating someone from a completely different culture, who won't expect you to know his culture. If you offend him, you can just apologize and find out how to avoid doing so again.
>>
No. 973674 ID: f3f534

>>973649
If this date goes well, you guys might end up in bed together! Just make sure you guys wear protection so that neither of you end up pregnant!

……what? He's an alien, you don't know how his biology works! It's entirety possible that you could get Zstolt pregnant! Or he could get you pregnant! There's a very real chance that could happen, even though both of you are male!
>>
No. 973675 ID: b1b4f3

>>973674
That's not how biology works.
>>
No. 973677 ID: f2320a

>>973675
We never know there are species that BECOME female and pregnant if inseminated or actually carry the females egg inside themself or turns into female and spontaneously self impregnate if left alone long enough and some of those are actual RL animals
>>
No. 973678 ID: 9f00f4

Even considering that, there's no way they'd be interfertile without MAJOR shenanigans going on. And any civilization that has sufficiently advanced technology to allow for true xenofertility, has trivially managed birth control as a matter of course.
>>
No. 973679 ID: ba56e6

It's probably too early for gifts, but he's inexperienced at this. If he brings a gift and you don't have one it might seem rude.

Bring a song album, maybe one of yours'? You can play it off as wanting to show off your music if it turns out to be a no gift thing, and see if he can even listen to your music.
>>
No. 973697 ID: ce39da

>>973679
Yeah, I like the EP idea, but don't reveal it unless A) He also brings a gift, or B) he asks about your music.
>>
No. 973708 ID: 2c5282
File 159641558684.png - (79.25KB , 700x550 , 12.png )
973708

>Didn't you said that you get shitface easily? Drunk people are only fun to hang around when you are also drunk, so don't start before Zstolt.
Ugh… getting drunk will make you fuck up, yes, but without it you’re going to be a bundle of nerves the whole time…
>Don't shoot your load just yet, we're running things tight on energy and drive as it is! We want to go into this with some mana.
It probably was a horrid advice anyway, from a shitty movie.

>Wear what you usually do.
Actually, just going as yourself is kind of calming in a way.
>The color doesn't matter, you are dating a blind person.
You keep forgetting that he is blind… though, you have to wonder, how much can he actually see? He did see that you were cute, so there’s that, but you don’t really know what he will or won’t notice.
>Mascara could work but it shouldn't matter. He thought you looked really good with just eyeliner on. Leave it off.
So leave it as you usually have it…
>Maybe material matters as well but we don't know what he likes in that respect.
Hmm… material and smell is probably more important to him than color… but you can’t really predict what he will like or not.

>It's probably too early for gifts, but he's inexperienced at this. If he brings a gift and you don't have one it might seem rude.
Which kind of puts you in a bind, doesn’t it? You guess you can get something and only give it if he brings a gift as well? That might work…
>Like flowers? That is pretty gay dude.
You’re going on a date with a man, so it’s as gay as it gets already. Though… aren’t they some kind of reptile? Which means… they don’t have balls… so… your balls can’t touch, thus it is impossible for it to be gay?
>Bring a song album, maybe one of yours'? You can play it off as wanting to show off your music if it turns out to be a no gift thing, and see if he can even listen to your music.
That’s an amazing idea! Not only is it a personal gift, but you can show off your skills to him as well! You just need to remember to play it cool and not force it… as well as hope that he likes the music.

>Honestly, there's nothing you can do right now that will matter, if your problem is that you do/say something wrong during the date that fucks it up.
Being prepared and in the right mindset helps… not to mention going on a date looking like a pile of shit is never endearing… be it intentionally or not. Hmm… better make sure that you haven’t been sitting in anything vile, that has happened once and you’ll make fucking sure it doesn’t again.
>You're dating someone from a completely different culture, who won't expect you to know his culture. If you offend him, you can just apologize and find out how to avoid doing so again.
You can still offend him so massively that he won’t forgive it… or keep offending him some way over and over again… or you can just be bore or a turd or something else he isn’t attractive to… there’s so many ways to fuck up…
>Don't make a big deal out of his social status, just treat him as your equal, because in this situation you are: you're looking to get to know each other personally over the course of lunch.
What even is his social status? Is he a big deal? Oh shit, are you going on a date with some big shot!? What if you’ll need to look out for bodyguards… or paparazzi… or… or mafia goons or… whatever!? Fuck it, Tris, stop it! You’re overthinking this shit again! You’re sure he’ll be just a normal dude with a normal job… that’s still important enough to get titles thrown at him… yeah…

Alright, time to stop fucking around and be awesome! You’re here! You’ll endear! You are probably queer! …and you’re almost a whole ten minutes early, giving you plenty of time to get a table and relax for a bit before Ztolts gets here.
>>
No. 973709 ID: 2c5282
File 159641559404.png - (91.70KB , 700x550 , 13.png )
973709

Then you get a message from Aliena Affinitas, the dating site the two of you were using… a message containing information that is good to know before you go on a date with a Raolme. Apparently, your species share the same kind of acids, so most food that they serve will be fine for your consummation, though they will mostly only eat insects. It also says that… ah… sexual fluids are fine to be… ingested… so no protection is needed? Though there are a few warnings as well…

Warning: Strong sounds and smells can disorient a Raolme, and is considered very rude.
Warning: Raolme teeth are very sharp. If a bite results in bleeding, seek medical aid immediately.
Warning: Raolme teeth are venomous and while not deadly, even the slightest touch may result in temporary localized paralysis. While not fatal on its own, it might create dangerous situations.
Warning: If you are an insectoid species, please reconsider your dating partners. There have been many cases of accidental ingestion, even in situation where you the insectoid was consider larger than the Raolme.
Warning: Do not tie a Raolme into a knot. They do not like it.

Oh right. You were so busy being a sad piece of shit that you forget to fucking read up on his species. But you still have a few minutes, so you’re sure you can look it up real quick… at least the important stuff. Let’s see… they are blind… have really good smell… navigates through echolocation? Huh… cool… hmm… walks on all fours… their bones are malleable? What does that even mean? They can grow, extend and retract bone structures at will? They can move all their internal organs? What? The? Fuck? What have you gotten yourself into?

>If this date goes well, you guys might end up in bed together! Just make sure you guys wear protection so that neither of you end up pregnant!
…how would that even… you know what, they are already weird as hell, so you better make sure… no, they can’t make others butt pregnant, thank god. So that’s something at least that you won’t need to worry about.
>He's an alien, you don't know how his biology works! It's entirety possible that you could get Zstolt pregnant! Or he could get you pregnant! There's a very real chance that could happen, even though both of you are male!
According to this archive thing the aliens got, then fuck no, that won’t happen. Their baby making ways are surprisingly similar to your own, in that the dude blow a load into the girl and then a baby happens…

A weird clicking sounds next to you brings you out of your daydreaming about weird alien pregnancies. It’s the same sound you heard when you took that sonar picture, in fact. Looking down, you find who you can only assume is Sir Ztolt standing right next to you, looking… you think he’s a bit lost? You’re not sure… you can’t really read aliens that well yet.

:ZtoltBC: May I have a moment, my fungalniod fellow? I am in search of someone of the Burettian species, so may I ask if you can direct me to one that’s possibly sitting alone, seemingly waiting for someone? As you certainly know, they are a rather new species, so I haven’t had the chance to learn what they smell like yet… not to mention all these people, smells and noises is confusing me a bit… fuck, am I even in the right building?

…and is that a bowler hat?
>>
No. 973710 ID: a38353

Holy shit i know he said he didn't like being called cute but he is downright adorable.

welp, better let him know he found you.
>>
No. 973711 ID: b1b4f3

>>973709
I believe the term to describe him is "dapper".
Sounds like he thinks you're a fungoid because of the silhouette of the umbrella. Tell him he's found his date, and put away the umbrella so he can "see" you better.
>>
No. 973713 ID: f56a2b

Fold your umbrella.

"Funny coincidence, he's looking for you too, mate."
>>
No. 973714 ID: 62e4df

"Hey, Ztolt? It's me, Tristan. You're looking handsome."

Then find a seat.
>>
No. 973715 ID: 4854ef

>>973711
Dappadorable.

Well it seems being the being absolutely lost is a universal expression on his species as well. Time to play it cool. Introduce your self.
>>
No. 973716 ID: ce39da

"Ah- That's me. Is it my parasol that confused you?" Offer to lead him to a quiet corner.
>>
No. 973718 ID: 36784c

>>973709
>their bones are malleable? What does that even mean?
It means they can bend in lots of ways.

>Ztolt
Tell him that he’s already found his date and introduce yourself to him. You’re gonna have to explain why you have an umbrella to him.

And since he mentioned that he doesn’t know what you smell like, he might try to smell you. If he does, let him and don’t push him away.
>>
No. 973720 ID: b19e9e

Well tell him that if his name happens to be Ztolt then he has found him.
>>
No. 973737 ID: a9af05

>>973709
Ask if his name is Ztolt, then confirm your identity to him.
>>
No. 973741 ID: 736c28

You got got yourself a gentleman. Just look at that hat, is fucking adorable.
>>
No. 973766 ID: b1b4f3

Oh and do mention your cologne if he's trying to get your scent.
>>
No. 973780 ID: ba56e6

>>973709
What is your species like anyways, Tristan?

Introduce yourself in person. Apologize if your cologne confused him, in retrospect it was not the best of decisions.
>>
No. 973913 ID: 2c5282
File 159667145364.png - (109.58KB , 700x550 , 14.png )
973913

>What is your species like anyways, Tristan?
Normal? You walk on two legs, eat most things, fucks most things and shit like you’re supposed to do. It’s kind of hard to explain, actually…
>It means they can bend in lots of ways.
…kinky.

>Holy shit i know he said he didn't like being called cute but he is downright adorable.
Most… resist… urge… to… pet… tiny… mobster…
>I believe the term to describe him is "dapper".
He’s dapper as fuck! It makes you feel massively underdressed, though.
>Dappadorable.
How can he be both cute and stylish at the same time!? That’s not supposed to be allowed!


>Sounds like he thinks you're a fungoid because of the silhouette of the umbrella.
…huh. You guess the umbrella does kind of look like a large mushroom cap?
>"Funny coincidence, he's looking for you too, mate."
:ZtoltBC: He is? Then may I ask that you point me in his direction, ma’am? Wait, did you say mate? Tristan?
:TristanBC: Yes?
:ZtoltBC: …oh. …shit.
>Fold your umbrella.
As you fold up your umbrella and put it back in your bag, you can outright see how the pieces starts falling into place for Ztolt.
:ZtoltBC: …is having an umbrella a fashion choice for your species? Because I am pretty certain it’s not going to rain today.
:TristanBC: I’m sure it’s for some, but I mostly use it to protect myself from the sun.
:ZtoltBC: …your species can’t handle the sun?
:TristanBC: They can. I can’t. I’m an albino, which makes my fur white, eyes red and the sun fucks my shit up if I’m not careful.
:ZtoltBC: Huh… fur of silver, eyes of fire…

>Time to play it cool. Introduce yourself.
:TristanBC: I am Tristan Dowe, usually just Tristan but my friends call me Tris. I would shake your hand but I’m not sure if that’s something your kind does?
:ZtoltBC: Sir Ztolteskanx tol Xai, chu ton o Ankh, yadda yadda and shit, the second… but call me Ztolt. Just Ztolt. And I would entangle my tail with yours but it seems a bit small for that… that is your tail, correct?
:TristanBC: That is indeed my tail, mate.
>And since he mentioned that he doesn’t know what you smell like, he might try to smell you. If he does, let him and don’t push him away.
:ZtoltBC: I have to ask, may I… ah… get your scent?
:TristanBC: Go crazy, Z.
:ZtoltBC:
:TristanBC: That means you may get my scent.
:ZtoltBC: I… assumed as much, but it’s better to be careful.

His snout almost brushes against your waist as he sniffs you… you’re just lucky he’s wasn’t just a bit shorter, or this might have been even more awkward…

>Oh and do mention your cologne if he's trying to get your scent.
:ZtoltBC: So that what that is. It is remarkable similar to the smell of a Mrrgh.
:TristanBC: I’m fucking sorry if it made it a bit confusing for you.
:ZtoltBC: No no, it is fine. It’s just a coincidence… unless you’re trying to smell like a large, walking mushroom?
:TristanBC: Unless they smell freaking sweet, then no, I wasn’t.
:ZtoltBC: Talking of sweet… the smell under it… what is that?
:TristanBC: …you mean my natural smell?
:ZtoltBC: No, something else… it’s a bit fruity? It’s some kind of fruit I’ve never smelled before…
:TristanBC: …you mean my shampoo? It is strawberry scented.
:ZtoltBC: I have no idea what you just said, but it smells lovely.
:TristanBC: I’ll keep that in mind to next time.
>>
No. 973914 ID: 2c5282
File 159667146299.png - (114.17KB , 700x550 , 15.png )
973914

>You're looking handsome.
:ZtoltBC: Thank you. Sadly, I cannot say the same for you.
:TristanBC: Um…
:ZtoltBC: No, wait, that came out wrong. I cannot say the same for you because I can’t get a good look at you like this. I do like the glasses, though. They make you look sharp.
:TristanBC: And I love your hat, mate. It’s ado- It’s really dapper.
:ZtoltBC: And functional.
:TristanBC: Oh? What does it do? Protect you from the sun as well?
:ZtoltBC: It protects me from unwanted head pats.
:TristanBC: …unwanted pats?
:ZtoltBC: You’d be fucking surprised how often aliens likes to pat us on the head for some reason… so wearing a hat protect me from that.
:TristanBC: …heh, a likely story. That thing clearly doesn’t protect you from snout pats, which would probably increase thanks to how ad- how dapper that hat makes you look.
:ZtoltBC: *Snrk* Alright, yes, I’m kidding. No, it’s my teeth that protects me from those head pats.
:TristanBC: Teeth?
:ZtoltBC: I might bite the hand that pet me?
:TristanBC: By the eternal darkness, remind me to ask for permission before I try to pat you.
:ZtoltBC: Ha!

Ztolt snout widens into a large grin filled with wicked teeth, a grin that’s just slightly too big… it’s a good thing you resisted the urge to pet him earlier…

:ZtoltBC: It’s the endless dark… and please, you don’t need use our phrases and words. I rather listen to the shit you say in your own tongue.
:TristanBC: Noted… though I just assumed that you were doing too same with me, what with the sudden swearing.
:ZtoltBC: Swearing? No, swearing is kind of a universal language…or at least it’s easily translated between species. No, I don’t swear for your sake, but my own. Though I admit I might be trying to learn a few new phrases from you. It’s just… when I am with my usual circles of associates and family, I’m forced to be all prim and proper.
:TristanBC: While with me you can let lose a bit and talk shit?
:ZtoltBC: It’s a little freedom, but a nice one, to be able to say that they are all fucking… um…
:TristanBC: Wankers?
:ZtoltBC: I’m sure that sounds better in your langue, but yes, they are all boring fucking masturbaters.
:TristanBC: Well, fuck ‘em. Now, let’s forget about those bollocks and have some freaking fun!
:ZtoltBC: Heh… yes, let’s…

>Offer to lead him to a quiet corner.
:ZtoltBC: A quiet corner does sound, as you put it, fucking sweet.
:TristanBC: There is one right over there… err… I me-
:ZtoltBC: I heard where you pointed, do not worry. Now, have you already decided what to order?
:TristanBC: Honestly, I’m still a bit unsure what’s what on the menus you guys have here. I’ve found something that’s burger like and I’ve been sticking to that so far, so…
:ZtoltBC: I have prepared by looking up the menu and I found something that sounded rather delightful. Only problem is that it’s a bit heavy for lunch, so I was going to ask if you wished to share it with me?
:TristanBC: Well…
:ZtoltBC: Wait, your kind do eat live insects, correct? It said you were omnivores, which includes insects and shit, correct?
:TristanBC: Err… live ones?
:ZtoltBC: Also, I must ask, are you well, Tris?
:TristanBC: Huh? Why do you ask?
:ZtoltBC: Because your heart beat keeps going up and down quite a bit. It’s honestly a bit distracting.
>>
No. 973919 ID: 9f00f4

There are some cultures back home that sometimes eat live animals, but I'm not from one of them. We mostly prefer food to be cooked by heat or chemically. It helps ease digestion, you see.
>>
No. 973921 ID: a38353

We certainly could eat insects...probably, but live might be a bit much.
>>
No. 973924 ID: b1b4f3

>>973914
Tell him you're a bit nervous, and worried about saying the wrong thing. I guess playing it cool doesn't work when he can hear your heartbeat.

A live insect... uh, normally you don't eat things alive. Generally it's cooked, but there are certain dishes where something is raw but still fresh so as to keep it from being contaminated. On the other hand there are some dishes which could be considered spoiled from an outside perspective, like cheese, and of course alcoholic beverages.
As for whether or not to eat the bug... well, so long as it doesn't move while you're eating it? Killing it right beforehand should be fine.
>>
No. 973925 ID: e19a40

>Emotional rollercoaster
This is just something my hearth do. Is this too different from other species you've met?
I could try to get more zen but it would take weeks of practice.

>eat live insects
It's a bad idea, but I'm open to new experiences.
>>
No. 973929 ID: a38353

Assuming we don't have a heart condition we don't know about which is...possible but really unlikely, the heartbeat stuff is probably just nerves.
>>
No. 973935 ID: f8fa51

I guess we can, physiologically, but it's not usually considered normal. I've never really tried it, but I have to admit it doesn't sound particularly appealing. But I guess I can try it and order something else if it doesn't work out?
>>
No. 973936 ID: ce39da

"Wait, are we going to be biting into the same thing? I know it isn't direct biting, but would it be safe to eat something your teeth touched? Would cutting this big bug in half first ruin it or something?"
>>
No. 973988 ID: ba56e6

>>973914
Your species easily goes into states of excitement, which is why your heartbeat keeps speeding up. It means that you're enjoying his company.

As for live insects, well... you would rather eat your portion dead and cooked. But if they're able to do half and half that, you're willing to give it a try.
>>
No. 974016 ID: 2c5282
File 159675147746.png - (127.16KB , 700x550 , 16.png )
974016

>Tell him you're a bit nervous, and worried about saying the wrong thing.
:ZtoltBC: And that makes your heart beat faster? Hmm… interesting.
:TristanBC: Is this too different from other species you've met?
:ZtoltBC: Considering most species doesn’t have one large muscle pumping blood around their whole body, then yes, it is a bit odd.
:TristanBC: You don’t have a heart?
:ZtoltBC: I have a lot of muscles to pump my blood around instead of just having one large fucker in the middle of my chest.
:TristanBC: So you’re practically heartless?
:ZtoltBC: *snrk* While my family is known for that, I like to think that I’m a bit different. Always have been more like gran gran than anyone else after all…
:TristanBC: I’m sure you have ten thousand hearts of gold in you.
:ZtoltBC: And you have a singular, huge one. Heh… must suck to go through heartbreak with that thing.
:TristanBC: Better one large heartbreak than a thousand small ones.
:ZtoltBC: Mmm… maybe you’re right… though it’s more like a hundred, but I digress…
>It means that you're enjoying his company.
:ZtoltBC: And I do enjoy yours as well, even if we haven’t spent that much time together. Don’t have a humongous fucking heart to show it off, though.
:TristanBC: Hey, no sweat. I got other ways to see if you’re having a good time, mate.
:ZtoltBC: Oh… really?
:TristanBC: For example, you scratch the shit out of the ground with your right hind leg every time I make you smile.
:ZtoltBC: I do? I… I haven’t actually notice that I do that…
>I guess playing it cool doesn't work when he can hear your heartbeat.
:ZtoltBC: Actually, I am quite impressed. That’s one of the reasons why I was so confused at first, as nervous people usually show it off in other ways.
:TristanBC: I guess it something you learn being part of a band. Can’t show people how nervous you are when you’re on stage, eh?
:ZtoltBC: I’d love to hear more about this band of yours, but that can wait until later. Right now we should focus on the food, as I’m fucking starving. So what do you say, Tris, share a meal?

>I've never really tried it, but I have to admit it doesn't sound particularly appealing.
:ZtoltBC: It doesn’t?
:TristanBC: We can eat insects, sure, but we usually don’t?
:ZtoltBC: Ah… I see…
>We mostly prefer food to be cooked by heat or chemically. It helps ease digestion, you see.
:ZtoltBC: Then the dish I had in mind might not be the most ideal one.
:TristanBC: I rather eat my portion dead and cooked so… unless you’re able to do a half and half…
:ZtoltBC: How do you half kill, half cooks something?
:TristanBC: Eh… necromancy?
:ZtoltBC: ...wait, you’re telling me that they have a level 5 [Translation Not Found!] with the spell [TNF!] just waiting in the kitchen in case someone wanted to [TNF!] and [TNF!] with their [TNF!]?
:TristanBC: Half of that didn’t translate well, but I’m guessing it was a roleplaying reference to fucking D&D or some such?
:ZtoltBC: It was indeed a nerd joke, yes… though it’s not from the game you mentioned… which translated to “Dinner and Dick”, which I’m pretty sure isn’t right?
:TristanBC: Err… no… no it is not…
:ZtoltBC: Maybe we can play a game of it sometime in the future? The tabletop game, not the freaking dinner and dick part. Geez…
:TristanBC: I guess that might be fun, yeah.

>Wait, are we going to be biting into the same thing?
:ZtoltBC: …no? We have utensils, don’t we? Which usually includes a knife?
>Would it be safe to eat something your teeth touched?
:ZtoltBC: I do not believe my venom have any effect if ingested, nor do I believe it will stay active for very long inside something I bite.
:TristanBC: That’s good to hear. Would suck if I poisoned myself by sharing a cupcake or something with you.
:ZtoltBC: Not that my venom is dangerous to your kind. If I understand it correctly, if I bit your hand it would only paralyze your hand for a little while and nothing more. Oh, and apparently it gives off a warm, pleasant feeling as well.
:TristanBC: Aw man, and here I was hoping to trip some balls…
:ZtoltBC: Heh, sorry man, but you need more powerful stuff for that.
>Well, so long as it doesn't move while you're eating it?
:ZtoltBC: You know, maybe I should order something else?
:TristanBC: That might be a good idea, yeah. Oh! How about this, we both order something individually and then we can share the shit between us? That way we can both get a taste of what the other like, eh?
:ZtoltBC: That does sound like a good idea, as long as you order something I can actually digest.
:TristanBC: Well… it says the burger has a Raolme option, so I guess that might work?
:ZtoltBC: Whatever you just said didn’t translate, but if it has a Raolme option, then it’s fine.
:TristanBC: Then let’s order!

It doesn’t take long after finding that quiet corner you promised him before a waiter approached the two of you. While ordering you make sure to specify that you want the Raolme option while Ztolt make sure that you can actually consume what he is ordering, which you can. Then the waiter scurries off, leaving the two of you alone again as well as leaving two tall glasses of… something drinkable that Ztolt ordered?

:ZtoltBC: Oh, yes, I almost forgot! I… um… got you something?
:TristanBC: Oh?
:ZtoltBC: Well… see… funny story… I was kind of in a hurry and… um...
:TristanBC: …and you… forgot something?
:ZtoltBC: I kind of forgot for a second that you weren’t a Raolme? A bit silly, yes?
:TristanBC: So, you got me a…?
:ZtoltBC: I got you some flowers?
:TristanBC: Flowers? Wait… aren’t those just… herbs?
:ZtoltBC: Herb flowers, yes! They… smell really good? There’s [TNF!], [TNF!] and [TNF!] as well as this new thing they have that I really liked called basilica. So yes, I… got you some herbs?
:TristanBC: …can’t say I’ve ever gotten a bouquet of herbs before.
:ZtoltBC: As I said, I was kind of going on auto pilot and… as this is my first date with an alien so… I’m sorry, I fucked up a bit?
>>
No. 974017 ID: b1b4f3

>>974016
Hmm, they look kindof nice anyway. Take a sniff, see how they smell.

Good thing you have that album ready! Tell him you weren't sure if there was going to be a gift exchange but you brought something just in case.
Ask what kind of music he likes!
>>
No. 974018 ID: 9f00f4

Don't worry! I enjoy a good potpourri! It's very thoughtful of you. Just because my species uses sight to navigate doesn't mean we don't like a pleasant scent!
>>
No. 974019 ID: f56a2b

>>974016
No, this is a fine gift. Normally, we go in for flowers for their colors, and herbs of all sorts are used for food... if that's basil in the bouquet, there'll be at least one familiar scent there!
>>
No. 974020 ID: 2aa5f0

>I’m sorry, I fucked up a bit?

tell him not to worry about it. It's the first date where neither of you really know the other all the well yet. Flowers, or herbs, are a good safe gift when you're not too sure what the other person likes. Guess this would also be a good time to give him a copy of one of your band cds/mp3/whatever you burned the damn thing onto. If he asked why you gave him a copy of our songs just tell him that you also felt that music was also a good safe choice and that you gave him some of your band's songs because you kinda wanted to make sure that none of the interments or anything that you guys play would be considered harmful or painful to his species. Would kinda make for a shitty night if you tried to be cute and play a song for him only to THEN find out that your instrument of choice hurts him.
>>
No. 974021 ID: ce39da

"I hope they're safe; better to double-check with a bouquet made entirely out of stuff that 'fails to translate.' I do look forward to the smell if it's safe, though, if your own tastes are at all consistent."
>>
No. 974023 ID: f8fa51

"That's actually really fucking romantic, mate. It's a bit unconventional, but I have a feeling this relationship is going to be a whole lot of that so it's actually kind of poetic in a way. Besides, they look nice, let's see how they fucking smell, yeah?"

"Actually, I got you something too. I didn't know if gifts were expected on the first date, so I was playing it safe. I brought you some of my band's music, maybe you could listen to it a bit later?"

Now that the food's been ordered, it's time to make small talk. He mentioned tabletop games, is that something he's done before?
>>
No. 974026 ID: a38353

pretty sure the one that actually translated is basil, so hey maybe we can cook with these at some point. it's a nice gift, and since he gave us one i suppose lets give him our music CD.
>>
No. 974033 ID: a9af05

>>974016
Tell him that you're impressed with how he can hear your heartbeat. You've got these really big ears (grab and wiggle them so he knows where they are on your body) and you can't hear something like that!

Then crack a joke on what he would've been sniffing if he was just a little shorter!

>Gift
Tell him not to worry about it and give him his gift. Tell him you also went on auto pilot as this is also your first date with an alien and you kinda forgot that he's got sensitive hearing, so you're not sure if your music will give him a headache if he listens to it. You're also not sure if he has a way to listen to the CD, since he might not own the device necessary to play it.

Looks like you're the one that might've fucked up a bit.
>>
No. 974035 ID: e19a40

>Flowers
Gaaaayyyy!

Thank him for the gift and offer him the music record.

>Dinner and Dick
That is a very topical mistranslation. What other weird therms does this program come up with if you two start to recite abbreviations and acronyms to each other?
>>
No. 974044 ID: ba56e6

>>974016
It seems like Tris would be good at poker. He's got a good poker face and can pick out peoples' tells, even in aliens.

Thank him for the bouquet and take a smell of it. Now would be the time to reveal that album. Tell him you wanted to see if he likes or can even listen to your music. In case you ever invite him to a concert or something.
>>
No. 974179 ID: 2c5282
File 159693220091.png - (106.17KB , 700x550 , 17.png )
974179

>It seems like Tris would be good at poker. He's got a good poker face and can pick out peoples' tells, even in aliens.
There’s a reason why your band doesn’t play poker with you anymore…
>Gaaaayyyy!
You’re having lunch with a man that you hope will mount you tonight, so yes, it is super gay.
>Pretty sure the one that actually translated is basil.
It looks like basil, it smell like basil, it probably taste like basil. It is basil. You’re pretty sure Ztolt just remembered the name wrong… or someone actually mistranslated it into basilica?


>No, this is a fine gift.
:TristanBC: It’s actually really fucking romantic, mate.
:ZtoltBC: …you think?
:TristanBC: It's a bit unconventional for my species, but seeing as we’re different species there’s going to be a lot of that shit, isn’t it? It’s kind of poetic in that way, as it really symbolize how our relationship is probably going to be.
:ZtoltBC: Relationship? That’s a bit… premature… but yes, this date will be a bit unconventional. Though, as much as I’d like to take credit for all that poetic stuff, I just bought them because they smelled freaking nice.
:TristanBC: And that’s fine as well.
>It's the first date where neither of you really know the other all the well yet.
:ZtoltBC: Nor does it seem like we know each other’s species very well either… this will be intriguing, if nothing else…

>Take a sniff, see how they smell.
:TristanBC: Ugh!
:ZtoltBC: Huh!? You don’t like them?
:TristanBC: No, it’s just… *huff*… I didn’t expect them to have that strong of a scent! That, and they are kind of… jumbled together…
:ZtoltBC: Can’t that cute little snout of yours extract the fragrances one by one?
:TristanBC: …um… no?
:ZtoltBC: …well, fuck. I’ll make sure it isn’t such strong fragrances next time, then…

>Just because my species uses sight to navigate doesn't mean we don't like a pleasant scent!
:ZtoltBC: With a cute snout like yours, that’s not surprising, Tris.
>Hey maybe we can cook with these at some point.
:TristanBC: …or is that considered rude?
:ZtoltBC: It’s consider rude not to use a gift and throw it away. Eating it is one way to use it.
:TristanBC: Then I’m looking forward to see what these taste like.
>Normally, we go in for flowers for their colors.
:ZtoltBC: I can’t really comment on that, because… obvious reasons.
:TristanBC: I’d gathered that your kind isn’t very well versed in color theory, no.
:ZtoltBC: Just as I’m sure you aren’t well versed in the ways of sonar sight.
:TristanBC: I can’t say I’ve ever used it, no.
>>
No. 974180 ID: 2c5282
File 159693221124.png - (133.97KB , 700x550 , 18.png )
974180

>Good thing you have that album ready!
:TristanBC: Actually, I got you something too. I didn't know if gifts were expected on the first date, so I was playing it safe. I brought you some of my band's music, maybe you could listen to it a bit later?
:ZtoltBC: You brought your own music? I… I’d love to hear it. This is an amazing gift! I’m actually feeling a bit… cheap bringing some herbs I bought on the way now.
:TristanBC: Hey, don’t sweat it, mate. I still loved them.
:ZtoltBC: Though… I have to ask… what is this large plastic square?
:TristanBC: …oh, right, you can’t actually… um… see the custom cd case, can you? The music is on one of those sticks that fits one your data pads inside, but… yeah… the case…
>Looks like you're the one that might've fucked up a bit.
:ZtoltBC: Heh…
:TristanBC: Hmm?
:ZtoltBC: You know, it’s feel fucking amazing to hear someone actually admitting that they might have made a mistake, even if it is such a minor one that it doesn’t even matter in the end.
:TristanBC: Oh? So, you’re used to people making excuses… or are they playing the blame game?
:ZtoltBC: Both. It’s get very tiring after a while, really…
:TristanBC: Then that’s when you start confessing to things as soon as you can! Even things you didn’t do!
:ZtoltBC: And get punished for it?
:TristanBC: Or they’ll figure out what you’re doing and stop believing you, even when you admit something you actually did! …or they’ll just use you as a scapegoat, either way the excuses are gone.
:ZtoltBC: That’s a horrible idea that will definitely backfire. I fucking love it!
>Tell him you wanted to see if he likes or can even listen to your music. In case you ever invite him to a concert or something.
:ZtoltBC: I will give it a listen when I have the chance and get back to you on that. That I promise you.


>Now that the food's been ordered, it's time to make small talk.
Indeed it is… but where do you start? Doesn’t really matter, because as long as you stay away from the weather you’ll be fine…

>Ask what kind of music he likes!
:ZtoltBC: In the presence of others, I’d like to listen to the new classical Raolme river styled orchestras, but when I’m alone I fucking love the harder, more raw stuff that has come out of the endless darkness. How about you? What does that band of yours play?
:TristanBC: I’d like to think that I’m part of an intergalactic synth pop electro-funk band from outer space.
:ZtoltBC: …now I’m definitely need to listen to your music, just to figure out what the hell you meant by that.
:TristanBC: Though I also like most kinds of Rock.
:ZtoltBC: …you listen to stones?
:TristanBC: ...it’s not someone banging stones together, no.
:ZtoltBC: Then why is it called stones?
:TristanBC: Because… err… it’s hard? I guess? I’m not sure?
>Tell him that you're impressed with how he can hear your heartbeat.
:ZtoltBC: Is it? You’d think that people would assume that someone without eyes would have good hearing.
:TristanBC: It’s still freaking impressive, mate.
:ZtoltBC: But you haven’t even experienced our smell, mate.
:TristanBC: Oh? And how good is it?
:ZtoltBC: The last person you sat next to was wearing something that was… colored green?
:TristanBC: Err… Mel did have a green vest on him… how the fuck did you…?
:ZtoltBC: It’s the dye, I recognize it.
>You've got these really big ears (grab and wiggle them so he knows where they are on your body) and you can't hear something like that!
:ZtoltBC: Yes, I do know you have very big ears already, they are not very hard to hear, and yes, they are very cute.
:TristanBC: You really do think I’m a cutie, don’t you?
:ZtoltBC: You are the biggest fucking cutie, Tristan, you just have to accept that.
:TristanBC: And you’re both very handsome and dapper yourself, Ztolt.
:ZtoltBC: Heh… thanks…
:TristanBC: And adorable.
:ZtoltBC: …hmpf… do you really find me that-
:TristanBC: Dappadorable.
:ZtoltBC: …heh, I can accept that.


>He mentioned tabletop games, is that something he's done before?
:ZtoltBC: I have been in a few games, yes, but it isn’t something that I’m too invested in.
:TristanBC: My roommate Mel did mention he was trying to form a group with us Burettian’s that’s moved here, but I don’t think anything came out if it. Mostly because I don’t think he actually got the courage to try. I had this idea for a bard and everything…
:ZtoltBC: A what?
:TristanBC: A charismatic music player.
:ZtoltBC: So, yourself then? Heh…
:TristanBC: Oh, like you haven’t played a… snazzy thief or something.
:ZtoltBC: A snazzy [TNF!], actually. As in, someone that’s under contract by a higher being in trade for more power.
:TristanBC: So… a warlock?
:ZtoltBC: Whatever you just said is probably correct, yes.
>Then crack a joke on what he would've been sniffing if he was just a little shorter!
:ZtoltBC: Wait, your stuff is right there?
:TristanBC: Yes?
:ZtoltBC: I mean… it wasn’t like they were hanging out or… anything…
:TristanBC: While my pants where in the way, my junk isn’t internal, mate.
:ZtoltBC: It isn’t!? But how… does… y-you know w-what, let’s shelf this c-conversation until we’ve gotten a few drinks in us later.
:TristanBC: I’ll make sure we remember it later then.
>That is a very topical mistranslation. What other weird terms does this program come up with if you two start to recite abbreviations and acronyms to each other?
:ZtoltBC: That also sounds like something we should do after a few drinks in a less classy place.
:TristanBC: It does sound a bit more fun with a bit of alcohol in us, yeah.
:ZtoltBC: So let’s shelf it as well then… though that shelf is getting a bit full of shit by this point, heh.
:TristanBC: Hey, better have it full then empty later, you hear?

:ZtoltBC: So…
:TristanBC: Well…
:ZtoltBC:
:TristanBC:
:ZtoltBC: …about this weather we’re having?
>>
No. 974181 ID: 9f00f4

"Rock and Roll" was the genre that evolved into the musical genre "Rock". The translator missed that in my language, 'to rock' and 'a rock' are homonyms. Anyway, like many genres of popular music, such as Jazz (from "Jasm", meaning vitality, related to the word 'jism', for semen), it's name originated as a euphemism for something to do with sex. If you are 'rocking and rolling', what are you doing, after all?
>>
No. 974182 ID: a38353

well, time to get to know him i suppose?
>>
No. 974183 ID: 4854ef

Do not let it get this awkward! The situation must not spiral into boredom. Talk about yourself a little, he mentioned fur of silver, eyes of fire when you spoke of being an albino earlier. Maybe you could get him to elaborate a bit? That's a bit surprisingly poetic and all.
>>
No. 974188 ID: a38353

Yeah find out about the "fur of silver, eyes of fire" it sounded interesting.
>>
No. 974195 ID: b1b4f3

>>974180
So what does he do for a living? Sounds like he's got a family full of politicians, but does he work for them too?
Try sniffing the herbs individually, at more of a distance maybe.

Ask him if it's always herbs or music for gifts. Does he like tactile gifts? Or taste samples?
Oh, speaking of taste, what's his favorite food?
>>
No. 974198 ID: e19a40

Since he mention the weather you may comment on how the climate here is less harsh on you than on your homeplanet.

Didn't you take a shower after talking with Mel? The green dye stuck with you since than?

Ask him if he can eat crustaceans or if cooking is out of question. There is a very exotic dish from your planet that consist of a live lobster.

Insects must be a very varied diet, specially if he can eat species from other planets. Ask if he tasted some from where you come from. I'm curious about what he would think of bees.
>>
No. 974199 ID: b1b4f3

There are some insects that are commonly eaten on Earth. Crickets and mealworms mainly.
>>
No. 974200 ID: 9f00f4

Typically those cultures that traditionally eat live animals on my homeworld are ones that eat sea creatures. The closest I know of to insects served like that is usually shrimp, a very small, many-legged crustacean, which when served live, are served drunk so they squirm less. Can you eat shrimp, whether live, raw, cooked with heat, or cooked with citric acid? I don't know how to look this species-specific stuff up.
>>
No. 974206 ID: ce39da

"So, that name, huh? As stupidly long as it is, it's still gotta mean something, right? They can't have just been piling made-up nonsense noises together to sound long for its own sake. Mind sharing as long as it's not too boring? Gotta be more riveting than the fucking weather, anyway."

It could be a boring tangent, but also a somewhat "safe" way of pressing on the Xai part of his name in particular without being oddly specific about it. He doesn't even have to get too far into his titles to answer our real question; he could cut it short after explaining "Xai" for all we care about it.

>>974183
>>974188
That was probably because his species can only think about visual colors by analogy.
>>
No. 974218 ID: 2aa5f0

> …about this weather we’re having?
actually that reminds me, does he know anything about the dome the city is in? You said that the dome seem to make it so you don't need your umbrella as much so maybe asking if the dome is doing anything to the suns rays might let you figure out if you need the umbrella still or if it won't be as necessary anymore while you're here.
>>
No. 974231 ID: 5413b0

>…about this weather we’re having?
A little too late for that don't you think?
You have no idea how anxious i was before coming here. Now i actually feel a little more relaxed. You should relax too. Let's talk about ourselves a little. So, who starts?
>>
No. 974236 ID: a9af05

>>974180
Hey, look at that. He's using one of his feet to hold his drink. Isn't that neat?

>…about this weather we’re having?
Make a joke about how it's funny that talking about the weather is a universal awkward conversation topic, since that also happens on your planet.
>>
No. 974252 ID: ba56e6

These big ears do have good hearing. The thing is that they don't have such PRECISE hearing as he does. You can hear things from further away because they're shaped like little satellite dishes, basically.
>>
No. 974317 ID: 2c5282
File 159718906372.png - (136.81KB , 700x550 , 19.png )
974317

>Do not let it get this awkward! The situation must not spiral into boredom.
While being able to be silent with each other at times is a good thing, it’s still a bit too early for that, yeah. Let’s fill this silence with… something… fucking anything, really.
>Didn't you take a shower after talking with Mel? The green dye stuck with you since then?
While you did indeed shower, change clothes and put on some cologne, you’re still wearing the same leather jacket you wore when you pulled him into a bro hug earlier. That’s probably where the smell is.
>Try sniffing the herbs individually, at more of a distance maybe.
You’ll need to pick a few leaves from them, maybe…
>Hey, look at that. He's using one of his feet to hold his drink. Isn't that neat?
…wait, isn’t his body going in the other direction, though? How is he bending? …you’ll need to resist the urge to look under the table to see how he’s actually sitting… for now, at least…


>Make a joke about how it's funny that talking about the weather is a universal awkward conversation topic, since that also happens on your planet.
:ZtoltBC: Is it really that bad? I mean… fuck, I know it was getting a bit awkward and that I’m a bit of a stranger when it comes to a date like this, but… um…
:TristanBC: Hey, you know the rules and so do I, mate. Weather is the last thing you bring up after you’ve given up on all the other shit.
:ZtoltBC: Then let’s not get our cocks knotted before we even started and talk about something else… like… err… how is the weather on your… home… planet?
:TristanBC: Geez…
>Since he mentioned the weather you may comment on how the climate here is less harsh on you than on your home planet.
:ZtoltBC: Not surprising, considering this place have an artificial climate.
:TristanBC: About that…
>Does he know anything about the dome the city is in?
:ZtoltBC: It’s because this colony is built on an unterraformed planet. The wildlife and climate outside the domes is what was originally here before we came, and while most species can function fine out there, it isn’t really a good climate for cities to be in. There are a lot of thunderstorms and rain, if I remember correctly, and something about a very harsh monsoon?
:TristanBC: So you guys just plopped a fucking dome down and built a city under it!?
:ZtoltBC: Well, several domes, but that shit worked, didn’t it?
:TristanBC: I mean… I guess the dome does make things easier for me…

>So, that name, huh? As stupidly long as it is, it's still gotta mean something, right?
:ZtoltBC: My name? Is it really that interesting?
:TristanBC: Gotta be more riveting than the fucking weather, mate.
:ZtoltBC: I guess it is. Very well, my full name is Sir Ztolteskanx tol Xai, chu ton o Ankh, Metre of Etrall, Est de zartel o Xaito, the second, which the short version means “Ztolt of a family who loves gives shitty titles for everything to make themselves sound fucking important”.
:TristanBC: Heh… and the long version? I still don’t know what any of those titles means.
:ZtoltBC: Hmm… Sir is supposed to be given to someone who has done something… noble…
:TristanBC: That does kind of sound like being knighted in my culture. You also become a sir then.
:ZtoltBC: That does sound about the same, yes, though the main difference is that I haven’t fucking done anything yet. I’ve just been flopping around in the endless dark without a clue and that’s it!
:TristanBC: And the tol xi thing?
:ZtoltBC: Tol Xai. Ztolteskanx of the family Xai. Then it says that I’m the minor duke of some river called the Ankh, back on my home planet, though really I just own something like 4 centimeters of it or something like that.
:TristanBC: Geez… that sounds like just buying cheap land somewhere just so you can say that you’re a land owner…
:ZtoltBC: That’s exactly how it is! That thing has been in our family for generations and it just gets smaller and smaller for each clutch that grows up!
:TristanBC: Hmm… and what is this Etrall? I’ve heard that name before…
:ZtoltBC: Etrall is the planet we’re on right now. Metre of Etrall just says that I have a vote in matters concerning Etrall… which doesn’t really mean anything as this is a freaking democracy!
:TristanBC: And zartel?
:ZtoltBC: Est de zartel o Xaito. “Twice removed blood son of the Xai family”. That’s just my… “rank” in the hierarchy that my family have… and it basically means that I have no say about anything. How about you, what does your name mean? Tristan… Dowe, was it?
:TristanBC: It means exactly that. I’m Tristan from the Dowe family.
:ZtoltBC: And your family, who are they?
:TristanBC: Oh, they are just a bunch of jerk wads, nothing more.
:ZtoltBC: They can’t be that bad, Tris. I mean, I got a ton of experience with fucking bores of a-
:TristanBC: They disavowed me because I liked the wrong people, dressed the wrong way and… acted wrong…
:ZtoltBC: Oh… OH! …that’s… sorry…
:TristanBC: No sweat, mate, that’s old history, you dig? How about you? It sounds like your family is full of politicians?
:ZtoltBC: Heh, they wish. Nah, they are just… what was it you said earlier? A bunch of masturbators?
:TristanBC: Wankers, but continue…
:ZtoltBC: My family just own a lot of land and businesses here on this colony, which I might remind you is a small, inconsequential place in the ass end of nowhere. So we’re just a large insect in a shallow river, really. Though going by my family usual foolishness they do try to pretend that they are the biggest bitches of the galaxy. Giving each other all kind of shit titles and… ah… you know what, I vote that we forget about families completely for tonight and focus on us instead, agreed?
:TristanBC: Agreed. Though… before that, I have to ask… what do you do for a living anyway? You do work for your family, yeah?
:ZtoltBC: They forced me to get an education in economics, so I mostly just make sure the numbers are correct in a bunch of businesses we own. How about you? You’re in a band, correct?
:TristanBC: That’s the main fucking source of income right now, yeah, but I’ll probably need to find a proper job if we can’t land more gigs.
:ZtoltBC: Have you thought about educating yourself further?
:TristanBC: Maybe… I’ve heard some good things about your education here, but I’ve always been shit at learning stuff.

>Ask him if it's always herbs or music for gifts. Does he like tactile gifts? Or taste samples?
:ZtoltBC: I do love getting chocolate covered insects. But I do love the music you gave me. A personal gift is always better than some expensive shit you bought at some store.
:TristanBC: Glad you liked it.
:ZtoltBC: And how about you? I’m guessing you like getting music as well, considering those large ears your species have.
:TristanBC: They do let me hear a lot, yeah, though I usually prefer making my own music.
:ZtoltBC: Heh… by banging rocks together, eh?
:TristanBC: Actually, thinking about it, I’m pretty sure it’s “to rock” and not the object rock.
:ZtoltBC: So… you make music by… rocking back and forth?
:TristanBC: In a bed, yeah.
:ZtoltBC: …heh, alright, I think I get it. It’s the lewd kind of rock.

>He mentioned fur of silver, eyes of fire when you spoke of being an albino earlier. Maybe you could get him to elaborate a bit? That's a bit surprisingly poetic and all.
:ZtoltBC: Hmm? Oh, that’s just from an old poem I’ve read back in school.
:TristanBC: A poem? Really?
:ZtoltBC: It’s from right after our first contact with the Xot, who liked to describe themselves as having eyes of fires. Though it was about silver colored scales and not fur.
:TristanBC: And I reminded you of it?
:ZtoltBC: It’s just easier for us to have an analogy for colors and the like. So it is easier for me to imagine that your eyes are as hot as fire and your fur is cold as silver than thinking that you’re simply red and white.
:TristanBC: Heh, you’re making me sound fucking badass, mate.
:ZtoltBC: Well, you kind of are, mate.
>What's his favorite food?
:ZtoltBC: It’s [TNF!], which is a large, nearly person sized insect called [TNF!] that’s been marinated in [TNF!] and [TNF!] for about a day before you eat it. How about you, what do you like?
:TristanBC: Um… I’m not sure… pizza, I guess? It’s a-
:ZtoltBC: Oh, yeah, we have pizza.
:TristanBC: You do?
:ZtoltBC: Pizza is some kind of constant through the whole fucking universe. Every species have invented it in some form or another, making it a factor that bring us all together somehow.
:TristanBC: …are you serious?
:ZtoltBC: Of course! You can’t joke about pizza!
:TristanBC: …I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not…
>Ask him if he can eat crustaceans or if cooking is out of question.
:ZtoltBC: We do cook our food most of the time and while we do have several water based insects back home, I have no idea if your shelled fish is included with those.
>Insects must be a very varied diet, especially if he can eat species from other planets. Ask if he tasted some from where you come from.
:ZtoltBC: We haven’t had the chance to import any from your planet yet, sadly… though I’ve heard that they aren’t very big, are they?
:TristanBC: Most of them are rather small, yeah…
:ZtoltBC: Hmm… well… I gue- Oh! The food is here!

:NonNH: Here you go, gentlemen. One boiled [TNF!] and one bug burgare.
:TristanBC: I’m pretty sure it’s just burger…
:NonNH: No, sir, it clearly says burgare here.
:ZtoltBC: Either way, that [TNF!] looks amazing! What did we say earlier? Share fifty-fifty?
:TristanBC: We did, yeah.
:ZtoltBC: Do you want the back end or the head? The back end is usually tenderer, but the head has that delicious pincer meat, doesn’t it?
:TristanBC: Err…

Maybe this was a bad idea?
>>
No. 974320 ID: d3d748

Hmmm well, you can think of it as a crab, maybe? Hard exterior, tender insides. You can't say you don't like it until you try it! What about the smell?
>>
No. 974321 ID: a38353

this certainly wasn't a bad idea, get that sweet sweet pincer meat.
>>
No. 974322 ID: b1b4f3

>>974317
Back end. Getting meat out of pincers is always a pain. Also yeah that is approximately like a crab, since it was boiled and has a hard shell.

Did you order any drinks?

More topics: books, movies, tv, videogames. SPORTS, other hobbies.
>>
No. 974323 ID: 2aa5f0

start with the back I guess.
>>
No. 974325 ID: 36784c

>>974317
>…wait, isn’t his body going in the other direction, though? How is he bending?
You read about this, remember? A Raolme‘s bones are malleable, meaning they can bend in lots of ways. Apparently, that includes completely backwards in the wrong direction.

……now that you’ve seen it, that one warning telling you not to tie a Raolme into a knot makes more sense, doesn’t it?

>Then let’s not get our cocks knotted before we even started
Hopefully, no one needs to worry about getting their dicks tied in a knot on this date! That sounds painful!

>Maybe this was a bad idea?
No, it wasn’t.

You haven’t even tried it yet! Just take a bite out of it and if your lucky, it’ll taste like something you’re familiar with back home. But just in case, have your drink nearby so you can wash it down if it tastes bad.
>>
No. 974327 ID: f56a2b

Lets be a gourmand, and work on the head first.
>>
No. 974328 ID: ba56e6

>>974317
Tell him you'll taste the back end, since you're feeling adventurous.
>>
No. 974330 ID: f8fa51

There's no shame in being honest if you don't like it. Unless you don't even try it first, in which case: SHAME!
>>
No. 974332 ID: b1b4f3

Also,
>Then let’s not get our cocks knotted before we even started
does that mean something lewd or...
>>
No. 974349 ID: e19a40

>chocolate covered insects
I just remember that chocolate with ants is a thing. It's easy to forget since it just have a small amount of insects and the chocolate dominate the resulting taste.

How much of home did our ships bring? If there are familiar fruits and flowers circulating in the market there must be at least bees to polonaise them. Make a note to investigate as possible future presents.

>Pizza
Flat breed with condiments on top. Cheese seem important now but originally it was just one possible condiment, not a defining feature.
Is cheese a thing around here? It's very mammal.

>boiled [TNF!]
Half of it is much more than I could handle. I'm also concern ingesting a large amount could make me ill.
Why don't you show me how it's done I will try bits and pieces.
>>
No. 974360 ID: 12b116

ask him to chew some up and spit it into your mouth like a baby bird so you can tell if you like the taste or not.
>>
No. 974368 ID: 36784c

>>974360
No! That’s disgusting! Don’t say that!
>>
No. 974383 ID: ce39da

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume your teeth are much tougher than mine; trying to get at the 'pincer meat' sounds like a bitch and a half - the crab leg from hell. I'll take the tail, and not just because you seem to want the pincer."
>>
No. 974388 ID: d3d748

>>974360
No, what? WHY?!
>>
No. 974400 ID: 9f00f4

Bugs of all sorts used to be much bigger on our planet, before there were people, back when there was a higher oxygen level in the air. They're small these days due to inefficient breathing systems. I suppose most things you call 'insects' have actual lungs or come from worlds with more oxygen in the air or something.

And I'll try the tender part, but you're going to have to show me proper technique to only take a small bite!
>>
No. 974401 ID: ba56e6

>>974360
Tristan has some strange kinks, but we should wait until later to explore this.

>>974349
Also good to remember that he can digest chocolate.
>>
No. 974458 ID: f9bc61

>>974317
>Hey, you know the rules and so do I, mate.
We're both strangers to love, yeah.

>Maybe this was a bad idea?
Well, we won't know until we try it, right? If you're feeling a bit less adventurous, maybe we could have the middle half and he could have both ends.

>I do love getting chocolate covered insects.
Does he like chocolate-covered fruit? A lot of our chocolate candies have fruits or sweet jelly inside.
>>
No. 974465 ID: ba56e6

>>974458
They're insectivores, so fruit would make them sick. It's good to know he can eat chocolate. I wonder if it's like some people where they're lactose intolerant, but can manage small amounts.
>>
No. 974821 ID: 2c5282
File 159796669229.png - (50.92KB , 700x550 , 20.png )
974821

>Ask him to chew some up and spit it into your mouth like a baby bird so you can tell if you like the taste or not.
When you said you wanted to swap spit with someone, that’s not how you meant it. Besides, neither of you two are bird last time you checked, so the whole idea is fucking bonkers.
>You read about this, remember? A Raolme‘s bones are malleable, meaning they can bend in lots of ways. Apparently, that includes completely backwards in the wrong direction.
…just how bendable are they? …this needs additional experimentation…
>Now that you’ve seen it, that one warning telling you not to tie a Raolme into a knot makes more sense, doesn’t it?
You were wondering what the fuck they meant with that. But if you can tie them into a knot then… just how freaking flexible are they!?

>How much of home did our ships bring? If there are familiar fruits and flowers circulating in the market there must be at least bees to polonaise them.
They definitely didn’t bring bees with them, that much you know. Do herbs even need bees to grow? Can’t you just bring a few seeds or something? Eh, you don’t know shit about plants, so you have no idea.
>Did you order any drinks?
Ztolt ordered a drink for you… you still haven’t tasted it, though you’re pretty sure it’s non-alcoholic at least…

>There's no shame in being honest if you don't like it. Unless you don't even try it first, in which case: SHAME!
Hey! You’re no fucking sissy, alright? You’re going to rock this bastard of an insect so hard that its grandfather is going to feel it in the bollocks!
>Well, you can think of it as a crab, maybe? Hard exterior, tender insides.
...hmm… you’ve never actually had crab. Well, not real crab. Crabsticks, sure, but not actual crab. So… maybe it’s like a large… Crayfish?
>What about the smell?
The bouquet of herbs Ztolt gave you is drowning out everything else, especially because you’re an arse end and put your bloody nose right in the stuff earlier.

>This certainly wasn't a bad idea, get that sweet sweet pincer meat.
:ZtoltBC: Oh, yes, the pincers meat is the most flavorful, but the shell can be a bit hard at times to chew through. The crackle between your teeth is kind of sweet, though.
:TristanBC: Wait, shell?
:ZtoltBC: Yes? You’re not going to get the meat out of the pincers easily, so you usually just eat them whole. The shell on the pincers are usually a lot softer then the shell on the body after you’ve boiled it.
:TristanBC: You know what, I might have changed my mind…
>Tell him you'll taste the back end, since you're feeling adventurous.
:ZtoltBC: Ah, yes, the butt! It’s the best part! Especially the two egg sacks on the back.
:TristanBC: Eggsacks?
:ZtoltBC: Yeah, those two things on its ass. Just make sure to pop the whole thing in your mouth before chewing, as sometimes they hatch prematurely from the heat.
:TristanBC:
>If you're feeling a bit less adventurous, maybe we could have the middle half and he could have both ends.
:TristanBC: …How about this, you take the butt and the front and I’ll have the middle?
:ZtoltBC: Oh? Are you sure? I mean, I won’t say no to both pincers and eggsacks, but if that’s what you want…?
:TristanBC: Let’s just say I rather take it slow the first time, eh mate?

>You're going to have to show me proper technique to only take a small bite!
:ZtoltBC: It’s rather easy, actually. First, you use the [TNF!], which is the fourth utensil on your left to carve away the scales on the underbelly, before using the [TNF!] to... err…
:TristanBC: I only got a fork and a shitty looking knife over here, mate.
:ZtoltBC: So you do… well… you know what, fuck all these silverware. Never liked keeping up with that shit anyway.
:TristanBC: So what? Let’s eat with our hands?
:ZtoltBC: What? Of course not! Only savages and those born at the end of the river eat with their hands. We civilized people use tools.
:TristanBC: And I’m sure all 14 of them are necessary, heh…
:ZtoltBC: Okay, I admit, we might have a few to many, but I’m sure we’ll make do with just a fork and knife. Either way, just cut off a piece and eat it. It’s not rocket science or anything.
:TristanBC: Oh.
:ZtoltBC: Though it’s a bit hot… maybe give it a minute to cool first?

>Is cheese a thing around here?
:ZtoltBC: Why wouldn’t it be?
:TristanBC: So you guys have cows to milk too?
:ZtoltBC: I have no idea what that is, but we go milk. A metric-fuck-ton of that shit from all kind of animals, be it from insects, reptiles or even those weird… what are they called? Mammals? So yes, we have milk and cheese.
>Does he like chocolate-covered fruit?
:ZtoltBC: I like chocolate. I can stand fruit flavors. I can’t stand actual fruits.
>I wonder if it's like some people where they're lactose intolerant, but can manage small amounts.
:ZtoltBC: As I said, I can handle the flavors. I can’t eat a whole fruit, no.

>More topics: books,
:ZtoltBC: I’m not really a book kind of person, but I usually prefer thrillers or mystery novels if possible.
>movies,
:ZtoltBC: Well, I usually go for thrillers or crime dramas… or just plain old action. Have you seen the “Godmother” trilogy by any chance? It’s this really amazing crime series… well, the third part sucks balls, but the first two are really good.
>tv,
:ZtoltBC: Heh… well, funnily enough, I’ve really fallen in love with old detective shows recently. It started with watching a few while I trained, then I kind of just… continued to watch them.
>videogames.
:ZtoltBC: Puzzle and story driven things. Something you can think about afterwards… or during. Never been a multiplayer guy, honestly. Too many… as you called them, masturbators out there.
>SPORTS,
:ZtoltBC: Why, I do play some [TNF!] at times. It’s this game where you’re trying to pull down balls into sockets in a table by moving this disk around and… you know what, maybe I’ll just show you the shit sometime, okay?
>other hobbies.
:ZtoltBC: Well… err… heh… I don’t really have any?
:TristanBC: …oh? Really? Your tail says otherwise.
:ZtoltBC: My… tail?
:TristanBC: You start moving it around when you’re nervous, Ztolt.
:ZtoltBC: …it’s kind of scary how good you’re getting at reading me…
:TristanBC: So… about that hobby of yours? Don’t worry, I won’t judge. I got weird hobbies myself.
:ZtoltBC: Weeeell… um… heh… y-you see… I… kind off… liketoknit?
:TristanBC: What was that?
:ZtoltBC: You know what? I’ve been really boorish the last couple of minutes and just been going on and on about myself!
:TristanBC: Hey, no sweat, mate.
:ZtoltBC: Still, I’m fucking rude getting all knotted up with myself over here.

>Hopefully, no one needs to worry about getting their dicks tied in a knot on this date! That sounds painful!
:ZtoltBC: Eh!? W-wait, did I really f-fucking say that out loud earlier? By the freaking endless dark, I d-didn’t… hah… err… that k-kind of just s-slipped out, my a-apologies?
:TristanBC: Does that mean something lewd or...
:ZtoltBC: What? No!? I mean… err… k-kind off? It’s… y-you know… w-when a young m-man has a g-girl over and h-he’s so eager to… um… he accidently… err… get tangled up with himself? Down there? You know? Haha… ha… eh… e… *cough*
:TristanBC: …I can’t say I do, no. How do you even-
:ZtoltBC: SPEAKING OF CHANGING THE SUBJECT! HOW DO YOU EAT THAT BURGARE OR WHAT YOU CALLED IT!?
:TristanBC: Woah.
:ZtoltBC: Also, same question you asked me earlier! Books, movies, TV, videogames, sports and other hobbies?
>>
No. 974822 ID: a38353

He likes to knit, sounds relaxing.

so what do we do for outside of music? what are our hobbies.
>>
No. 974823 ID: b1b4f3

>>974821
Burgare? You just bite into it. No utensils. The bun keeps your hands from getting messy. Or at least that's how you're used to eating them.

>can't smell anything, herbs are drowning everything out
Hmm, can you do something about that? Put them in your bag or something?
Have a taste of your drink.

Tell him it's fine if he knits. You don't believe in judging people for doing things outside of gender norms. You've been exposed to too much of that yourself, since you like makeup and feminine clothes. How good is he at knitting?

Tell him about your hobbies and interests. Even the weird ones.
>>
No. 974824 ID: 2aa5f0

Burgers are simple, just grab the bun in your hands and take bites out of them. Nothing fancy, just a simple meal meant to taste good and fill you up... though I have heard some places back home actually use silverware to eat it which baffles me as the point of the bread is to keep everything inside so it doesn't make a mess and give you something to grab onto.

>Books, movies, TV, videogames, sports and other hobbies?
Books and movies... well lately I've been mostly reading/watching old documentaries of pass famous musicians mostly out of respect.... and partly to see how they did it.

Tv is a bit more of a mix bag, mostly watch it just to distract myself so usually just pick anything that sounds interesting and if I like it I keep watching so my TV choices are a bit of everything.

As for sports, kinda fulls under the same bar as tv for me as in if its on I might watch it but I actually have a favorite here in the form of... let's call it competitive fighting. Not sure if the actual names would translate well. As for why, well when you're a pissed off kid who just got kicked out of their home there's something special about seeing someone get punched in the face.

And for other hobbies, well until recently I've mostly been focusing on trying to make a name for my band so a lot of focus on music but on the way over from my home planet... man it feels weird saying that, I met with my current roommate who introduced me to some of his hobbies like some tabletop/board games that have been a nice change of pace. Or well if nothing else they did help kill time on the trip over. Still pretty new to them so not sure how I feel about them exactly yet.

Oh and for video games, tend to find myself liking the more party oriented games or games you can just pick up and drop as I tend to be a little too busy to really get invested in any real story driven game. Also fighting games are a bit of a guilty pleasure as well.
>>
No. 974825 ID: e58930

>>974824
I like all this.
Also,
he said that he trains, right? What is that about?
>>
No. 974826 ID: 2aa5f0

>>974825
probably fall under hobbies
>>
No. 974828 ID: 36784c

>>974821
>What was that?
He said he likes to knit.

>Ztolt explaining how dicks can be tied in a knot.
Wouldn’t that mean that Raolme males have more than one dick?

Obviously don’t talk to Ztolt about it, since he wanted to change the subject. Just quietly think about it.

>>974823
This
>>
No. 974833 ID: e19a40

Are knots only an allegory to clumsiness or does it caries an inherently sexual connotation outside of the dick context? Maybe knitting is embarrassing because he find it somewhat arousing.
>>
No. 974851 ID: ba56e6

>>974821
>Mammals
What a coincidence. You're speaking to a mammal right now. Maybe if things go well you'll even learn how to milk one!

>Weird hobbies
Has he ever heard of ASMR?
>>
No. 974852 ID: ca47b5

>>974821
Movies: heist films. casing a joint, coming up with the plan, then dealing with complications during execution. the best shit.
>>
No. 974854 ID: a9af05

>>974851
>Maybe if things go well you'll even learn how to milk one!
Tristan needs to be a pregnant female in order to be milked. Last time I checked, he is definitely not a pregnant female.
>>
No. 974856 ID: f9bc61

>>974821
>HOW EAT BURGER
You just pick it up with your hands and bite into it. The bun is there so you can hold it without getting messy.

>Television?
Tristan likes action comedy shows. They're exciting and it's nice to watch characters having fun.

Wildlife documentaries are interesting, especially ones about sea life; there's a whole bunch of amazing creatures living right on our home planet. Most of them can't talk to us, though.

And if we're being completely honest, he also likes watching magical girl anime. They're usually written for little girls, but it's just fun to watch the pretty sparkles and songs and the romantic stories.

>Video games?
Well, rhythm games would be an obvious answer, but it's certainly true. Platformers are fun too, and he also likes scrolling shooters with fancy bullet patterns. They're surprisingly easy once you get the hang of them.

Also, advanture games. You know, the kind where you walk around and talk to people, and collect all these weird inventory items and have to find some ridiculous use for them. Some of the things they come up with are just so weird that it's hilarious.

>Sports?
Tennis, occasionally. Swimming would be nice if we could find a pool.
>>
No. 974898 ID: 66d80e

>>974821
You like mystery games. Sometimes you're so good at reading others, you can correctly guess who the bad guy is before getting all the clues. It's only frustrating when the game won't let you immediately arrest the bad guy until after you go through the game normally and collect all the clues like it wants you to.
>>
No. 974934 ID: 2c5282
File 159822812544.png - (91.35KB , 700x550 , 21.png )
974934

>Wouldn’t that mean that Raolme males have more than one dick?
…they… do? You know what, if this night doesn’t end in some sweet fucking, then you’re going to need to look that up! Otherwise… it will be a surprise?
>What a coincidence. You're speaking to a mammal right now. Maybe if things go well you'll even learn how to milk one!
Heh, while you do appreciate a dirty joke now and then, let’s play it safe for a bit longer. You can’t really tell if it will offend him or make him laugh just yet.
>Tristan needs to be a pregnant female in order to be milked. Last time I checked, he is definitely not a pregnant female.
Have you never heard the joke about the new farmhand and the bull?


>Are knots an allegory to clumsiness?
:ZtoltBC: Huh? Not…really? I mean… kind of? It has more than one meaning, really, though often it’s a metaphor for getting ahead of yourself or diving too deep.
:TristanBC: So… if you’re going to fast, you might tie yourself into a knot?
:ZtoltBC: In a sense. Or if you get stuck on a topic or idea… you know, getting tied up with something.
:TristanBC: And cock knots?
:ZtoltBC: Err… w-well… it’s w-when you rush things, okay? W-when you’re t-to eager. Y-yeah… *cough*
>Have a taste of your drink.
:ZtoltBC: What do you think?
:TristanBC: It’s… alright? It’s just water and something bit… citrusy?
:ZtoltBC: It’s just water and some fruit juice. I… um… kind of ordered it without asking you, didn’t I?
:TristanBC: You ordered it so fast that I didn’t have a bloody chance to say anything.
:ZtoltBC: I apologies, I kind of went on auto pilot again… so… I kind of fucked up… I didn’t even check if you could drink it in the first place.
:TristanBC: No sweat, mate. If it was bad I’d just order something else, eh?
:ZtoltBC: I… guess… still, my apologies.

>He likes to knit, sounds relaxing.
:ZtoltBC: Err… y-yeah, it kind of is… learned it from my g-gram gram and… w-well… my sisters make fun of me for doing it so… y-you know… it’s kind of a fucking girly thing to do…
:TristanBC: Mate, fuck the gender norms and any knob end who tries to enforce it. Just let people be people, right?
:ZtoltBC: Right…
:TristanBC: Be proud of being different! At least you stick out from the masses!
:ZtoltBC: Yeah! I’ll be proud that I knit!
:TristanBC: I bet you’re the best knitter around!
:ZtoltBC: Ha! Fuck no! I’m horrible! I can barely make a scarf!

>Tell him about your hobbies and interests. Even the weird ones.
Well, he did mention something he was embarrassed about… so you guess you’ll do the same?
>Until recently I've mostly been focusing on trying to make a name for my band.
:ZtoltBC: Yes, you did mention the band and the music… but there has to be more?
>Movies: heist films. casing a joint, coming up with the plan, then dealing with complications during execution. the best shit.
:ZtoltBC: Oh! Yes! Heist films! Those are great! Though I can really deicide if I love the perfect executed ones or the ones that… well…
:TristanBC: Go arse over elbow?
:ZtoltBC: Heh, if you want to put it like that, indeed. Hey, if you have the time, then I got a fucking great one that will blow you right out of the river, I promise!
:TristanBC: I’ll hold you to that promise, mate!
>Well, rhythm games would be an obvious answer, but it's certainly true.
:ZtoltBC: Eh… I’ve always felt those are a bit to hectic… though my sisters love those things.
>Platformers are fun too, and he also likes scrolling shooters with fancy bullet patterns. They're surprisingly easy once you get the hang of them.
:ZtoltBC: Platformers are fine, most of them… but bullet hells? No, just… no.
:TristanBC: Oh? You can’t keep up with the patterns?
:ZtoltBC: I’m fucking blind, so I can’t see them… and most of them aren’t really designed with sonarsync in mind, thus it makes these goddess awful sound that makes both my brains hurt.
:TristanBC: Oh… well, I guess co-op is out of the question then.
>Also, advanture games. You know, the kind where you walk around and talk to people, and collect all these weird inventory items and have to find some ridiculous use for them.
:ZtoltBC: Isn’t that part of puzzle and story driven games? Because I do love myself some point-and-say games.
:TristanBC: I guess you might consider it a puzzle game in some ways, yes…
>Also fighting games are a bit of a guilty pleasure as well.
:ZtoltBC: Ugh, no. I can’t stand fighting games, sorry. They are just too… fast and hectic, you know?
:TristanBC: But that’s what makes them fun.
:ZtoltBC: Well, not for me.

>Take a bite.
:TristanBC: Hmm?
:ZtoltBC: Does it taste wrong?
:TristanBC: No, it just isn’t what I… expected? It’s kind of… sour?
:ZtoltBC: Indeed. That’s what makes it so tasty!
:TristanBC: ...I… guess?
:ZtoltBC: You don’t like it?
:TristanBC: No, it’s fine, just… different.
>>
No. 974935 ID: 2c5282
File 159822813569.png - (127.88KB , 700x550 , 22.png )
974935

>Wildlife documentaries are interesting, especially ones about sea life; there's a whole bunch of amazing creatures living right on our home planet. Most of them can't talk to us, though.
:ZtoltBC: Wait, you have sea creatures that can talk?
:TristanBC: Um… well… dolphins can kind of… communicate… and whales… I guess?
:ZtoltBC: Hmm… I do love water stuff, though… though I’m not so sure about seas. It’s a bit to big… though that might be just my fear of the endless dark talking. Didn’t really have a lot of seas back on our home planet… mostly just rivers, really…
>lately I've been mostly reading/watching old documentaries of pass famous musicians mostly out of respect.... and partly to see how they did it.
:ZtoltBC: Stealing ideas, eh? Hehe… but yeah, knowing what people did before you is vital if you want to go forward, really. Otherwise you might just start going backwards again.
>if we're being completely honest, he also likes watching magical girl anime.
:ZtoltBC: …what was that last word?
:TristanBC: Animation.
:ZtoltBC: Well, I do watch some animation from time to time as well… though… Magical girl?
:TristanBC: It’s mostly about a young girl finding out she has special powers before transforming and fighting EVIL!
:ZtoltBC: …In all honestly, I did not expect that you watched that kind of stuff. But you know what, I fucking knit so you can watch the fuck you want. No sweat, mate?
:TristanBC: No sweat.

>As for sports, I might just watch it but I actually have a favorite here in the form of... let's call it competitive fighting.
:ZtoltBC: So… boxing?
:TristanBC: Boxing and kicking. Let just say there's something special about seeing someone get punched in the face. repeatedly.
:ZtoltBC: …a bit violent, but I see…
>Tennis, occasionally.
:ZtoltBC: And what kind of sport is that?
:TristanBC: Well, you use a racket to hit a ball over a net… and on the other side there is another person hitting the ball back.
:ZtoltBC: Oh? That does sound interesting… how did you start to play it?
:TristanBC: Actually, my parents enrolled me into classes against my will but… well… I grew to like it… not to mention that’s where I met… well… it’s one of the few things I still got left from my youth, you know.
:ZtoltBC: Hmm… maybe we can try a game sometime?
:TristanBC: Maybe.
>Swimming would be nice if we could find a pool.
:ZtoltBC: Oh! I love swimming! Well, I love floating around in a pool, but still, same thing, right?
:TristanBC: Then you have to know somewhere that has a great pool, then?
:ZtoltBC: Actually, we have a large pool back home at the estate…
:TristanBC: …you do?
:ZtoltBC: Though good luck getting some private time there. The whole fucking family tends to gather there as soon as the weather is good.
:TristanBC: Really?
:ZtoltBC: Well, we Raolme do like water a lot, so it’s kind of a given, really…
>He said that he trains, right?
:ZtoltBC: Well, yeah… you have to keep in shape, though it’s nothing special. Just a few exercises every other day in front of the Sonar Vision.


>Burgare? You just bite into it. No utensils. The bun keeps your hands from getting messy. Or at least that's how you're used to eating them.
:ZtoltBC: Wait, you eat it with your hands?
:TristanBC: Yes?
:ZtoltBC: …and you... heard what I said earlier?
:TristanBC: …yes?
:ZtoltBC: …well, fuck.
:TristanBC: Hey don’t sweat it.
:ZtoltBC: Oh, but I will! I just fucking insulted you in your face and said that you were born at the end of a river! Well… shit… I… I just keep fucking this up, don’t I?
:TristanBC: Um…
:ZtoltBC: First I call you a girl, then I buy the wrong gift and then I keep insulting you! Not to mention I bought you a drink without even asking!? Gah! Everything is going down river! Maybe my sisters are right…
>>
No. 974938 ID: ba56e6

Wait, what was the insult again?
>>
No. 974958 ID: 36784c

>>974935
Tell him that he’s not fucking anything up and he shouldn’t be so hard on himself. You’re not mad at him.

>Maybe my sisters are right…
What did they say to him?
>>
No. 974973 ID: b1b4f3

>>974935
Tell him you have experiences messing up dates, so you're sympathetic and forgiving. Also you're not bothered by it so far, he can just relax. You like him; you share common ground.
What is the endless dark?

>>974938
The insult was "Only savages and those born at the end of the river eat with their hands" but that sounded more like a criticism of those who eat things in an improper way. Like, there are foods that are meant to be eaten with silverware, but burgers are meant to be eaten with your hands.
There's also french fries, and fried chicken, or various baked goods.
>>
No. 974986 ID: b1b4f3

Also if he wants, he can eat the burgare by cutting it up into bite-size pieces and using a fork. It's just... not how you'd usually eat one.
>>
No. 974992 ID: 2aa5f0

Laugh

Tell him that if he wants to offend you he's going to have to try a lot harder than that. Besides, you've been burned enough times to know when someone just let something slip without meaning any harm and when someone really wishes to insult you.

Plus, this is a blind date... no pun intended, of course both of you are going to fuck up every now and again. Especially when both of you trying to learn a literal alien culture. Not going to learn all the social norms in one fucking meal. This is more to get a feel for each other and see what each other is like, and so far you're have a good time. And besides, the day is still young. You still need to hit the bar next and then decide if you just want to go for a stroll through the park or hit up that fair. Plenty more time for the both of you to fuck up in front of each other so no need to call things off yet.
>>
No. 975011 ID: c81883

Eh, tell him he's doing fine, really.
>>
No. 975017 ID: ce39da

"Oh, trust me, this is nowhere even near the worst date I've ever had. You're doing fine."
>>
No. 975020 ID: ba261d

Huh, funny, he sounds just like you before the date. You seem to have a lot in common already.

Tell him that is fine, he needs to relax. You haven't taken offence with anything that he said. I mean, it wasn't offensive in the first place.
>>
No. 975053 ID: f9bc61

>>974935
I... honestly hadn't interpreted it that way. We have eating utensils on our home planet, too. We don't eat all our food with our hands, just stuff that isn't messy, like bread and fruit. That could be because we don't walk on our hands, though. I can see how it might be different for a species that walks on all fours.

Actually, we use bread in a lot of different foods to make them easier to hold. We put foods between slices of bread like this burger, we wrap food in sheets of flatbread, we put it in round bread buns, we even have fried meat that's coated in a layer of bread as it's cooked. In some places you can even get bowls made of bread that are filled with soup, although we use spoons to eat the soup before we eat the bread.

And he doesn't need to worry about mistaking us for a girl. We do look quite a bit more feminine than most males of our species. We like to wear makeup to look pretty, so it's nice to meet someone who appreciates it.
>>
No. 975069 ID: 19da02

Tell him it's ok because you think he's cute.
>>
No. 975078 ID: a9af05

>>974935
Tell him not to worry. He's not insulting you at all.
>>
No. 975106 ID: 9c48ac

>>974935
Hey.
You're cute when you're freaking out.

(Also, like, the gift and drink were great, it was honestly entertaining you saw me as that feminine, and obviously you meant people that eat everything with their hands, not just finger foods. I could see myself saying the same exact thing. Also, I don't even know what "born at the end of a river" even means.)
>>
No. 975107 ID: b1b4f3

I wonder when the alcoholic beverages will come into play.
>>
No. 975113 ID: ba56e6

>>975107
These ones aren't alcoholic. The bar comes later this evening.
>>
No. 975290 ID: 2c5282
File 159873534009.png - (106.42KB , 700x550 , 23.png )
975290

>Huh, funny, he sounds just like you before the date. You seem to have a lot in common already.
Being a nervous fucking wreck about a date isn’t really something you can bond over… well… maybe?
>I wonder when the alcoholic beverages will come into play.
When you get to the bar? This one doesn’t have any alcohol in it.

>Tell him that he’s not fucking anything up and he shouldn’t be so hard on himself. You’re not mad at him.
:ZtoltBC: You aren’t?
:TristanBC: Yeah, no sweat, mate. We all fuck up sometime, you hear?
:ZtoltBC: Still...
>Tell him that if he wants to offend you he's going to have to try a lot harder than that.
:ZtoltBC: So… um… how far is to fucking far then? Insulting your parents?
:TristanBC: Nah, fuck those gits. And I already know that I’m a huge wanker who thinks with his knob end, so no point in getting my tits in a twist about that, eh?
:ZtoltBC: Heh, yeah, we’re both a pair of slumsuckers lost in the dark. But seriously, what ticks you off? Insulting your music?
:TristanBC: Yeah, don’t speak ill about the music. Criticism is fucking okay, but don’t be an arse about it. Oh, and don’t be an arse to my friend either.
>Also, I don't even know what "born at the end of a river" even means.
:ZtoltBC: Well… um… it’s kind of… well, shit goes downstream so… those living at the end of the river had the shittiest river?
>Oh, trust me, this is nowhere even near the worst date I've ever had. You're doing fine.
:ZtoltBC: ...just out of curiosity, if you don’t mind me ask-
:TristanBC: It ended with me face first in a manure filled ditch with my arm broken.
:ZtoltBC: …wait, how?
:TristanBC: She had a boyfriend she didn’t tell me about… and he was big and aggressive while I had my pants around my ankles.
:ZtoltBC: Oh. That’s… wow… and here I thought my awkward, stilted dates were bad.
:TristanBC: Hey, don’t sweat it, this dates going to be a lot better!

>You're cute when you're freaking out.
:ZtoltBC: HEY! I’m n-not cute!

Putting your finger under his chin, you guide his head upwards until he’s at eyelevel with you before leaning towards him and letting your nose just touch his snout.

:TristanBC: But I can’t call you handsome all the time, can I? Besides, I can’t help it! You’re just so cute!
:ZtoltBC: …y-you r-really think s-so?
:TristanBC: You’re fucking adorable!
:ZtoltBC: …I… I d-don’t do cute…



>That sounded more like a criticism of those who eat things in an improper way. Like, there are foods that are meant to be eaten with silverware, but burgers are meant to be eaten with your hands.
:ZtoltBC: No, it’s because you… um… we don’t eat with our hands.
:TristanBC: Oh.
>That could be because we don't walk on our hands, though. I can see how it might be different for a species that walks on all fours.
:ZtoltBC: Exactly! That’s… that’s… actually, that make a ton of fucking sense. You don’t actually walk on your hands, so it’s… a bit more okay for your kind?
:TristanBC: You guys don’t eat anything with your hands?
:ZtoltBC: Do you eat anything with your feet?
:TristanBC: Point taken.
>Actually, we use bread in a lot of different foods to make them easier to hold.
:ZtoltBC: Well, I’m still not eating it with my hands. I don’t even want to know what I’ve stepped in while making my way here, let alone taste it.
>Also if he wants, he can eat the burgare by cutting it up into bite-size pieces and using a fork. It's just... not how you'd usually eat one.
:ZtoltBC: I think I’ll do it that way, thank you. I mean, it’s either that or that you feed me, which won’t really work.

>He doesn't need to worry about mistaking us for a girl. We do look quite a bit more feminine than most males of our species.
:ZtoltBC: Which is probably why you sound so cute.
:TristanBC: Hey, why can you call me cute while I can’t call you the same, eh?
:ZtoltBC: Because you’re cute, of course.
:TristanBC: So are you, mate.
:ZtoltBC: And you’re really rocking the cute look.
:TristanBC: Fuck yeah! Of course I am!
:ZtoltBC: And I might be able to call you drop dead gorgeous after I’ve gotten better feel later.
:TristanBC: I like to wear makeup to look pretty, so it's nice to meet someone who appreciates it.
:ZtoltBC: Well, I for one like pretty girls in makeup, so do continue using it.
>this is a blind date... no pun intended; of course both of you are going to fuck up every now and again. Especially when both of you trying to learn a literal alien culture.
:ZtoltBC: That’s true… though don’t feel pressure to stop using metaphors about seeing and being blind for my sake.
:TristanBC: Noted.
>And besides, the day is still young. You still need to hit the bar next and then decide if you just want to go for a stroll through the park or hit up that fair. Plenty more time for the both of you to fuck up in front of each other so no need to call things off yet.
:ZtoltBC: Yeah! Plenty of time to fuck up some more!
:TristanBC: LET’S FUCK IT UP!
:ZtoltBC: WOO!!! Hehe… heh…

>What did they say to him?
:ZtoltBC: Huh? Who?
:TristanBC: Your sisters?
:ZtoltBC: Oh… um… well, mostly how I’m a fuck up that can’t do anything right? Though with… prettier words... you know… “You’re a social-inept fool who’s only mark of pride is besmirching our family name with your existence, you clod.”
:TristanBC: Off, sounds harsh.
:ZtoltBC: But fuck them.
:TristanBC: Sounds like a real pair of boneheaded twits.
:ZtoltBC: They fucking are!
>What is the endless dark?
:ZtoltBC: Oh… it’s kind of a metaphor about… well… it was originally about the sea, where… if you accidently swam out into it, well… you got lost in the endless dark, where there aren’t any smells or sounds to guide you back home. Nowadays it’s more just a saying about when shit goes… what was that you said, butt over… joint?
:TristanBC: Arse over elbow.
:ZtoltBC: That’s the one. Yeah.
:TristanBC: So the endless dark is just that… and endless darkness?
:ZtoltBC: Indeed. You just float there, not knowing where you are or how far away from land you are or even which direction to swim.
:TristanBC: Oh, creepy…

:ZtoltBC: So… um… can I get a taste of that… burgare thingy?
>>
No. 975292 ID: 2aa5f0

>So… um… can I get a taste of that… burgare thingy?
Sure thing mate, though just a quick question. It is safe for you to eat it right? I'd feel like a right arse if I gave you food poisoning on the first date.
>>
No. 975293 ID: 400a5d

>So… um… can I get a taste of that… burgare thingy?
Knock yourself up. Guess you'll be using utensils.
I'll keep digging at the crab thingy.
>>
No. 975294 ID: a38353

As long as it's safe for him to eat let em try it.
>>
No. 975295 ID: b1b4f3

>>975290
I wonder if it would be romantic to feed eachother. Like, cut bits of food up and fork them into eachothers' mouths.
>>
No. 975296 ID: 36784c

>>975290
>So…um…can I get a taste of that…burgare thingy?
Sure. Go ahead and enjoy it!

>>975292
>>975294
>Is the burgare safe for Ztolt to eat?
We ordered our food with the Raolme option. That means that it’s safe for Ztolt to eat it.
>>
No. 975363 ID: a9af05

>>975290
Ask him why he thinks it wouldn't work if we tried to feed him?
>>
No. 975371 ID: 6e6f32

So. What was that about me feeding you?
>>
No. 975374 ID: 2c5282
File 159890999505.png - (96.53KB , 700x550 , 24.png )
975374

>Sure thing mate, though just a quick question. It is safe for you to eat it right? I'd feel like a right arse if I gave you food poisoning on the first date.
:ZtoltBC: Didn’t you order it made with insects just so we would be able to share?
:TristanBC: Oh right.
>Knock yourself up.
:ZtoltBC: …this is surely a mistranslation, but did you just tell me to impregnate myself?
:TristanBC: I meant knock yourself out.
:ZtoltBC: And now you’re telling me to beat myself senseless?
:TristanBC: You know what, fuck it. Just take a bite.
>I'll keep digging at the crab thingy.
:ZtoltBC: Glad you liked it.
:TristanBC: It’s quite good, actually… when you get used to the taste.
:ZtoltBC: Most things are. You got to suck it down a few times before you get the taste for it, really.

>I wonder if it would be romantic to feed each other. Like, cut bits of food up and fork them into each other’s mouths.
:ZtoltBC: Eh… I’m not sure…
>Ask him why he thinks it wouldn't work if we tried to feed him?
:ZtoltBC: Well… I can’t fucking see what you’re doing, for one.
:TristanBC: Can’t you… um… hear it? Sense it? Or whatever it is you do?
:ZtoltBC: It’s not perfect. I can hear you moving around and hear where most of you are, but I have a hard time hearing the difference between the food, the fork and your hand as well as just how big the piece you’re giving me is. I might accidently bite you or some shit, Tristan.
:TristanBC: Well, then let’s start with a small piece and go from there. I’ll make sure to keep my hand on the far end of the fork while you take a big gulp on the other end of it.
:ZtoltBC: I… I guess we can try? Just keep still so I can hear where it is.
:TristanBC: Open wide and ta-
>>
No. 975375 ID: 2c5282
File 159891000374.png - (129.28KB , 700x550 , 25.png )
975375

:TristanBC:
>>
No. 975376 ID: 2c5282
File 159891000888.png - (103.36KB , 700x550 , 26.png )
975376

:ZtoltBC: Mmmf… Hey, this is kind of tasty!
:TristanBC:
:ZtoltBC: Um… is something wrong?
:TristanBC:
:ZtoltBC: I didn’t bite you or anything, did I?
:TristanBC:
>>
No. 975377 ID: b1b4f3

Say you were not expecting his mouth to open like that. It's... very intimidating.

how is that even possible
>>
No. 975378 ID: f56a2b

>>975376
...you've got some very interesting anatomy!
>>
No. 975379 ID: 5378af

>>975376
No, it's fine, just didn't expect your mouth to do that.
>>
No. 975380 ID: a1c44a

No, just analyzing how much hotter you just became, those are some really pretty teeth.
>>
No. 975382 ID: a9af05

Tristan is a huge xenophile, so I'd imagine that him seeing something so completely alien to his own anatomy would be very appealing to him.

Which means that Tristan just got very turned on right now!
>>
No. 975384 ID: 2aa5f0

ok that was kinda cool. Didn't realize that your bottom jaw split like that, looks pretty solid when your mouth is close.

Also now I can't help but wonder how much it would suck if you ever bit your own tongue.
>>
No. 975386 ID: 5faadf

>>975376
gonna be real with ya, that was fukkin rad

>>975382
probably
>>
No. 975387 ID: 12b116

tell him his giant predatory maw is super hott and try to control the raging erection it certainly gave you.
>>
No. 975389 ID: cdabe3

Damn that was kinda hot
>>
No. 975391 ID: 94f7a7

I think we all know where this is going.jpg
>>
No. 975394 ID: a38353

Hot damn, hot hot damn.
>>
No. 975399 ID: 36784c

If we’re gonna start talking about Ztolt‘s anatomy, then Tristan might as well ask him how flexible he is. Because the dating website sent him a warning that told him to not tie a Raolme into a knot and he’s been wondering about how that’s even possible since his species isn’t that flexible.
>>
No. 975407 ID: 864e49

I probably shouldn't be but I am incredibly turn on right now.
>>
No. 975412 ID: 9f00f4

Uh. At some point, I'm going to need some anatomical guide to your facial structure, cause I have no idea how it's useful for chewing, grinding grains, tearing meat, or anything else, nor how it evolved. The anatomy seems a bit odd. Like, all the creatures with teeth from my world evolved the simple hinged jaw that I have, because it's simple and useful. Even creatures with fairly complex mandibles aren't structured like that. I can't even figure how your mouthparts or skull works. Can you explain that to me, because otherwise I'm just going to be bothered by it for weeks.
>>
No. 975424 ID: 19da02

>>975412
if the bottom parts move independently it's more or less like a snake or a fish with pharyngeal jaws. Not very useful for chewing, but useful for swallowing large things whole, I'd assume.
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No. 975452 ID: 2c5282
File 159900085649.png - (105.32KB , 700x550 , 27.png )
975452

>Tristan is a huge xenophile, so I'd imagine that him seeing something so completely alien to his own anatomy would be very appealing to him.
You just stared down a massive maw filled to the brim with large, wicked teeth coupled with Ztolt seemingly tearing apart his own flesh and skin to open it wide enough to engulf your whole head. It was fucking horrifying… but also arousing. So… it was… um…. Horriousing? No… scarorny? That doesn’t work either… Scaroused? Yeah, that’s the one… you’re scaroused!
>Try to control the raging erection it certainly gave you.
Why did you wear a pair of tight fucking pants today!?
>I think we all know where this is going.jpg
And you’re not helping! Ugh, now you can’t stop thinking about it would to be to kiss that maw of his… or how it would be if he kissed… other parts… heh…


>Gonna be real with ya, that was fukkin rad.
:ZtoltBC: Huh? What was? Me eating from your fork?
:TristanBC: I meant the whole splitting your face open to devourer it, mate.
:ZtoltBC: I just… opened my mouth?
>those are some really pretty teeth.
:ZtoltBC: Oh! Did I grow too many teeth again? I… um… I kind of do that when I get myself in a knot and shit.
:TristanBC: Grow teeth? You can grow teeth?
:ZtoltBC: …yes? After all, it’s just bones, right?
:TristanBC: Err… kind… of? But you can grow bones?
:ZtoltBC: Well, more like move them around, but it’s the same, really. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a fucking compliment about my teeth before.
:TristanBC: Well, they are sweet as hell, mate, any wanker can see that.
:ZtoltBC: Heh, thanks?

>...you've got some very interesting anatomy!
:ZtoltBC: So do you, Tristan. I mean, you walk around on just two legs like it was nothing. How do you even keep your balance like that!?
:TristanBC: Hey, that’s nothing like splitting your fucking jaw open to open your mouth!
:ZtoltBC: I beg to differ! You can open your mouth just like I can, but I can’t run around and shit on two legs without falling on my ass!
>Didn't realize that your bottom jaw split like that, looks pretty solid when your mouth is closed.
:ZtoltBC: Hmm? Well, it’s because it is? I only split it apart to make sure I got a wider angle, just to make sure I didn’t accidently miss the food you know.
:TristanBC: …it’s solid? You can split your face… apart…?
:ZtoltBC: Hey, didn’t you read up on my species before this date?
:TristanBC: I… err… might have skimmed it?
> I can't help but wonder how much it would suck if you ever bit your own tongue.
:ZtoltBC: Luckily, the venom numbs to feeling of pain… for a bit… though afterwards the shit hits you like a [TNF!] biting you on the ass while you’re taking a swim.

>If we’re gonna start talking about Ztolt‘s anatomy, then Tristan might as well ask him how flexible he is.
:ZtoltBC: Flexibility? Why do you ask about that?
:TristanBC: Well, that website we used actually warned me not to… tie you into a knot, though I can’t really fathom how much shit must have gone arse over elbow for that to happen in the first place.
:ZtoltBC: Tie me in a… how would you even… I mean, I’m not long enough… at least, I don’t think I am?
:TristanBC: But you’re flexible enough to be tied together?
:ZtoltBC: Yeah? All my joints can be turned in any direction, which includes all the joints in my spine, so yes, I can sit on my own head if I want.
:TristanBC: …wait, doesn’t that mean you can… heh… you know…?
:ZtoltBC: Yes, I can suck both of my dicks as well, you perv.
:TristanBC: Sweet.
>I'm going to need some anatomical guide to your facial structure, cause I have no idea how it's useful for chewing, grinding grains, tearing meat, or anything else, nor how it evolved. The anatomy seems a bit odd.
:ZtoltBC: Wait? Grinding grains? Tearing meat? Why would I eat grains? …and you use a fork and knife for tearing meat from insects?
:TristanBC: But before the knife and fork, eh?
:ZtoltBC: Hmm… how was it again… in ancient times, we usually were floating around on the rivers waiting for a large insect to come by, before either diving or jumping after it, shoving whatever part we got a hold of into our mouths before using our inner teeth to saw it into chunks small enough to swallow while the outer jaw held it in place.
:TristanBC: Whoa, wicked!
:ZtoltBC: Now, can we move away from something you can easily look up on your datapad?

>I probably shouldn't be but I am incredibly turned on right now.
:ZtoltBC: …wait, by the anatomical lesson or by the fact that I can… *Cough* …you know… bend…
:TristanBC: Actually, by your wicked sweet mouth, mate.
:ZtoltBC: …my mouth? Why would you… it’s not that special?
:TristanBC: I like weird stuff, and I’ve never in my life seen anything like that.
:ZtoltBC: …you know, it starting to sound like we should take a moment to explore each other’s bodies?
:TristanBC: Oh?
:ZtoltBC: Err… I d-didn’t mean it like that! Fuck, I… I mean, I barely know what you actually look like! I really need to touch you to… ugh, this is sounding worse and worse, isn’t it?
>>
No. 975453 ID: f56a2b

>>975452
Play it cool, sip your drink. Smile.
"Nah, you were right the first time."
>>
No. 975454 ID: 9f00f4

Say, can you do an active sonar scan? Like by actually emitting ultrasound? That'd give you a pretty good resolution of both the shape and some of the internal anatomy of my body. I didn't really look up much detail about your species, but some sound-focused species from my world can do that. People say it tingles when they do it to them!
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No. 975456 ID: 2aa5f0

>Hey, didn’t you read up on my species before this date?
not really, felt like it kinda defeated the purpose of meeting and learning about a literal alien species if you just read everything about them before the first meeting. Though I did read about anything that could be considered dangerous as while I would like to learn thing about you as things move along I'd rather not have this day end with someone taking a trip to the hospital.

>Yes, I can suck both of my dicks as well, you perv.
whelp that answers your question you had earlier on whether or not we was dual wielding.

>I really need to touch you to… ugh, this is sounding worse and worse, isn’t it?
Snrk, well alright. When you put like that how could I refuse. Go ahead.
>>
No. 975457 ID: a38353

If he want's to...get a feel for us as it were, Let him, He should start with our ears our probably sensitive ears.
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No. 975459 ID: ba56e6

>>975452
Tell him you don't mind at all. He can start with your feet and legs, so that he can do it under the table. A little less public that way.
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No. 975464 ID: 94f7a7

Nah, actually i was thinking the same thing. Since you can't really see me you should touch me at least. And i am very curious as how you feel as well.
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No. 975469 ID: b1b4f3

>>975452
Tell him he can touch you as much as he wants. You're sure he's a gentleman and won't do anything that will get you kicked out. I imagine he'd like to touch your face? And your hands? Most of your body is covered by clothes though.

Heh, you can talk about how when mammals are born, they crawl around on their hands and knees for a while until they gradually learn how to walk on two feet. They're not very good at it at first, despite what must be millenia of instincts helping out.
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No. 975475 ID: 894419

>>975469
Yeah, anything more intense than uh, publicly available appendages ought to be left for more private circumstances
>>
No. 975489 ID: 19da02

Totally not fair that you can see him fine and he can't see you at all. Tell him to do as much touching as he wants. Hope he does/doesn't notice/feel/smell how aroused it makes you.
>>
No. 975501 ID: 36784c

>>975452
>Why did you wear a pair of tight fucking pants today!?
It’s only a problem if you get turned on enough that your dick rips a hole in them and sticks out where everyone can see it.

>Yes, I can suck both of my dicks as well, you perv.
That answers the question of how many dicks he has. It also lets you know that when he mentioned getting tied in a knot earlier, he was indeed talking about getting his dicks tied together.

>What do?
You guys should finish your food before it gets cold.

And if you guys want to get all touchy feely with each other, you should probably find somewhere private to do it and not here in a public area where everyone can see you!
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No. 975767 ID: f9bc61

>>975452
That sounds like fun, but I'd like to finish our meal first before we do any hands-on studying. Don't want to get dirty while we eat, you know? The not-so-fun kind of dirty, that is.

While we do that, it would make for a good topic of conversation. For example, he was interested in our sense of balance. That actually takes a lot of practice; younger children crawl around on the ground before they learn to walk upright. And we don't usually notice it, but most of the time we're constantly making small motions and adjustments in order to stay upright. We don't really "stand still" unless we're trying to stay totally motionless.
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No. 975835 ID: 2c5282
File 159951235531.png - (107.96KB , 700x550 , 28.png )
975835

>Whelp that answers your question you had earlier on whether or not we was dual wielding.
But there still so many questions unanswered! Like length, girth, dexterity… spines? …barbs? Shit, you really hope he isn’t as pointy down there as he is in his mouth…
>It’s only a problem if you get turned on enough that your dick rips a hole in them and sticks out where everyone can see it.
The main problem is that you’re currently sporting a rather large bulge that’s clearly visible to anyone that can see under your table. You’re just happy he’s blind and can’t accidently see it.
>He can start with your feet and legs, so that he can do it under the table. A little less public that way.
Let’s not ask him to start touching it either…

>You're sure he's a gentleman and won't do anything that will get you kicked out.
Sir Ztolt is a true gentleman and you trust that he won’t do anything too eyebrow rising in public. Still not letting him go under the table, though.
>You guys should finish your food before it gets cold.
You’ve been eating while listening. It’s almost all gone by now.
>Play it cool, sip your drink. Smile.
Yeah, you’re cool… you’re not a nervous wreck, no sire… cool as fuck… just smile and… don’t think about fucking this up…
>Hope he does/doesn't notice/feel/smell how aroused it makes you.
…which is why he’s staying above the table… hell, you really hope he can’t smell it…


>Snrk, well alright. When you put like that how could I refuse. Go ahead.
:ZtoltBC: Hey! Y-you know I didn’t mean it like that! I just wanted to-
:TristanBC: Don’t sweat it, mate, I know what you meant. I’m just messing with ya.
:ZtoltBC: Oh… o-of course…
>And if you guys want to get all touchy feely with each other, you should probably find somewhere private to do it and not here in a public area where everyone can see you!
:ZtoltBC: I’m just going to feel your face a bit. That’s not odd enough to require privacy… unless it’s something lewd for your kind?
:TristanBC: Lewd? No, it’s not like… heh… handholding or anything. Now that’s lewd!
:ZtoltBC: Handholding? Really? You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t hold your hand, as it’s kind of hard for me to move around without my front legs. Now, tail wrapping on the other hand…
:TristanBC: Oh? That sounds… scandalous~
:TristanBC: Tail wrapping leads to fucking, everyone knows that! Hehe…

>He should start with our probably sensitive ears.
:ZtoltBC: While I do want to feel those round discs of yours, I’m more interested in your facial features. After all, those things are just some huge fucking circles; it’s not that hard to hear their form.
>I imagine he'd like to touch your face? And your hands?
:ZtoltBC: Actually, your hands sounds weird as shit as well.
:TristanBC: My hands? Really?
:ZtoltBC: I keep thinking that they have a finger to many, but that can’t be right.
:TristanBC: I do have a finger more than you do on my hands?
:ZtoltBC: …you do!? …shit… you guess really are odd.
:TristanBC: You’re the one to speak, cutie.
>Most of your body is covered by clothes though.
:ZtoltBC: And? So is mine? No, I just want to know what you look like… the rest of you can wait.
:TristanBC: …until we’re alone in your bedroom, mate?
:ZtoltBC: …m-maybe?
:TristanBC: Sweet.

He disappears below the table for a second before suddenly appearing right next you, managing to glide under it as if it was water. Sitting down beside you, he gives you a large, toothy smile before lifting his hands up towards your snout. He wait just long enough for you to give him a sign to proceed before he starts moving his claws gently over your head, exploring it thoroughly but carefully.

:ZtoltBC: Hmm? What is this wet thing at the end here?
:TristanBC: That’s my nose.
:ZtoltBC: Oh… of course… and these teeth? Are they for… breaking through hard shells or…?
:TristanBC: They are for sucking your blood! Bluh!
:ZtoltBC: Wait, what? Really?
:TristanBC: Well, originally, yes, if you go back a few hundred thousand of years. Now we only use to eat meat…
:ZtoltBC: Heh… so now you only suck, eh?
:TristanBC: Hey! We’re a proud fucking people of suckers, thank you very much! We mostly suck dick nowadays, but still.
:ZtoltBC: Hehe… of course you do…

His hands move to your cheeks… and start playing around with your fur.

:ZtoltBC: You’re… fluffy.
:TristanBC: Hells yeah, I am the fluffiest motherfucker.
:ZtoltBC: It’s like an river of fluff!
:TristanBC: Okay, I’m not that fluffy, surely.
:ZtoltBC: I admit, it’s because I wasn’t expecting you to be fluffy? You don’t sound fluffy…
:TristanBC: And I’m guessing it’s a pleasant surprise because ow, you hind leg just scratched me.
:ZtoltBC: S-sorry.
>>
No. 975836 ID: 2c5282
File 159951236496.png - (52.59KB , 700x550 , 29.png )
975836

>Say, can you do an active sonar scan? Like by actually emitting ultrasound?
:ZtoltBC: Haven’t you heard me clicking? That’s how I knew how to find you before. Though, it’s not perfect when there’s so many scumsuckers making noise and other things for the sound to bounce off from. But if I ever get you submerged in water, then you’ll hear what I can do!
:TristanBC: Snrk, you know, if you wanted me naked in a bath, you should have just asked, handsome.
:ZtoltBC: D-darkness, Tristan, stop that! You know that wasn’t what I meant, cutie!
:TristanBC: Hehe…
>That'd give you a pretty good resolution of both the shape and some of the internal anatomy of my body.
:ZtoltBC: Well… maybe? I don’t know how thick your body is but… it might be worth a try?
:TristanBC: It would be kind of neat.

>I didn’t look up your species beforehand, felt like it kinda defeated the purpose of meeting and learning about a literal alien species if you just read everything about them before the first meeting.
:ZtoltBC: Isn’t that kind of dangerous?
:TristanBC: I did read about anything that could be considered dangerous. Rather not have this day end with someone taking a trip to the hospital, eh? But did you read anything about my species?
:ZtoltBC: To be honest, I kind of didn’t have to time too. I mean, I looked you up, but there’s barely anything out there about you that’s easy to find… so… yeah… mostly the dangerous shit as well.
:TristanBC: We are the newest wankers around, so it’s kind of a given that there’s little info about us fuckers.
:ZtoltBC: Then I guess we’ll just have to learn along the way together, eh? It’s easier to cross the river with a partner after all, even if we’re a pair of scumsuckers.
:TristanBC: Fuck yeah!
>Heh, you can talk about how when mammals are born, they crawl around on their hands and knees for a while until they gradually learn how to walk on two feet.
:ZtoltBC: Really? We Raolme can run around like little shits as soon as we burst out of the egg, though by instinct we never venture far from the nest for the first year or two. But having wobbly legs for a few days after hatching isn’t that odd.
:TristanBC: Actually it takes us a year before we can even walk… and we don’t hatch from eggs.
:ZtoltBC: You… don’t? Oh, of course, you… are grown in birthing pods like the Tuul then?
:TristanBC: No?
:ZtoltBC: …you build your offspring from your own body like the Flaûgnir?
:TristanBC: Nope.
:ZtoltBC: …then you… split apart and clone yourself like those shape changers? …oh! Wait, of course! You grow in the ground! Like the Mrrgh!
:TristanBC: …now you’re just making things up?
:ZtoltBC: But if it isn’t… you’re not like the Gartag, surely? Giving live birth?
:TristanBC: Err… yes?
:ZtoltBC: Oh, geez, that’s horrifying! How can you handle having your own body being eaten from the inside like that!?
:TristanBC: What? No, that’s not… they pop out the same way they came in, alright! Like laying an egg?
:ZtoltBC: Oh… um… r-right…


:ZtoltBC: So… um… this is starting to get a bit awkward…
:TristanBC: I agree, so let’s change the subject.
:ZtoltBC: No, not that, though that doesn’t help, but… well… usually getting to know someone like this goes both ways?
>>
No. 975837 ID: b1b4f3

>>975836
Touch the Raolme. Touch it now. Give pets.
>>
No. 975838 ID: a9af05

>>975836
Ask if he's giving you permission to give him head pats and snout pats? If he says yes, go ahead and start giving him pats!
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No. 975839 ID: ce39da

"Sure, I'll humor you." Start touching his face. "The two eyeballs in my head already give me a pretty clear picture, is the thing. It'd be a different story if the room were too dark or you weren't right in front of me - different ways of perceiving all have their ups and downs, I guess!"
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No. 975843 ID: f8fa51

Do it! You can see him just fine, but there's definitely details to learn from touch, like texture, temperature. Our fingers are very sensitive sensory organs. Plus, I think it would make him more comfortable to be doing this the "normal" way for him.
>>
No. 975845 ID: 36784c

>>975836
Remember how you were resisting that urge to pet the tiny mobster? I think you can stop resisting now and start petting the tiny mobster!
>>
No. 975846 ID: ff3732

Oh I'm going to touch the hell out of you!... Withing reason given we are in public.
>>
No. 975847 ID: 2aa5f0

well might as well touch around his face and see what he feels like, and if it happens to take the form of petting well things just kinda happen.
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No. 975848 ID: a38353

Give em the ole pat pat.
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No. 975850 ID: 9f00f4

So does your kind have an instinct for social grooming? Or your culture recognize anything like that? We kind of have one from way back when, but civilization has limited it to things like brushing the hair of family, lovers, or close friends, and petting and rubbing domesticated companion animals, and giving massages to lovers.
>>
No. 975851 ID: ba56e6

>>975836
I've been checking you out all night, but I won't complain about getting permission to cop a feel.
>>
No. 975857 ID: e19a40

Before properly petting him feel his cheeks with your palm, use the tips of your fingers to slowly descend from the base of his jaw through the sides of his neck until you reach and grab his shoulders, than move one hand further down to his chest while the other dears to accompany his arm and hold his hand. After a few seconds release him because hand holding is supper gay.
>>
No. 975858 ID: 894419

>>975857
But this is supper, and Tristan is gay!
>>
No. 975873 ID: 9f00f4

Might as well explain the 'handholding as lewdness' joke/meme/reference. It originated as a criticism of overzealous censors doing blatantly unnecessary censorship in media, and then became its own joke. Handholding as a public display of affection isnt actually risque.
>>
No. 975878 ID: 5c1acd

>>975836
well you've been been given the go-ahead to act without worrying too much about offending his cultural norms, carefully run a hand from the exposed part of the back of his head up to his snout, just be sure not to snag the bowtie.
>>
No. 975886 ID: 9f00f4

>>975873

Also, on that note, FUCK CENSORSHIP!

>>975836

Good god, how much more resolution are you losing by not being underwater? That's it, we have GOT to go swimming together! Do you know a place where we can swim and can be as loud as we want?

>>975836

Are there any types of people that develop in eggs, but those eggs hatch internally, and the young come out without the egg? Some animal species do that from my world.
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No. 976069 ID: 2c5282
File 159986370048.png - (76.52KB , 700x550 , 30.png )
976069

Mistake from the last post, it’s supposed to be Ztolt saying “Tail wrapping leads to fucking, everyone knows that! Hehe… “, not Tristan.

>Might as well explain the 'handholding as lewdness' joke/meme/reference.
Ztolt is intelligent enough to understand that on his own… and seeing as he made a joke about tail wrapping leading to lewd stuff, which he compared to hand shaking earlier, right after you said that it’s clear that he understood the joke.
>FUCK CENSORSHIP!
YEAH! FUCK THE OPPRESSION!

>Remember how you were resisting that urge to pet the tiny mobster? I think you can stop resisting now and start petting the tiny mobster!
Must… pet… cute… dragon… mobster…
>Touch the Raolme. Touch it now. Give pets.
YOU’RE GOING TO TOUCH IT! BY HELL, YOU’RE GOING TO TOUCH THE SHIT OUT OF THE RAOLME!


>Ask if he's giving you permission to give him head pats and snout pats?
:ZtoltBC: …I said you may touch my face to feel my texture and form.
:TristanBC: But… pats?
:ZtoltBC: …*sigh* fine, you may pat…
:TristanBC: SWEET!
>Oh I'm going to touch the hell out of you!
:ZtoltBC: H-hey, take it easy!
:TristanBC: Pat pat!
:ZtoltBC: Ugh…

Letting your hand lightly caress his head, you’re surprised how his scales feel against your fingers. You were expecting some kind of more reptilian feel, akin to an alligator, but it feels more like a… fish? Not to mention that the spines on his cheeks and neck are surprisingly sharp. His ears, on the other hand, are nice and kind of floppy! Oh, and it’s a delight to pat his little head…

:ZtoltBC: C-can you do something more than just pat me?
:TristanBC: But I love patting ya…
:ZtoltBC: I don’t like getting patted…
:TristanBC: Alright, time for scratches then!
:ZtoltBC: Time for wh-

Taking him by surprise, you decide to bring forth your secret weapon, scratches! As soon as you find that special spot behind his ear, you can outright feel his body purr as he leans into your hand in a vain attempt to increase the scriches received. Of course, the real snitch here is his hind leg, as it is scratching against the floor, similar to what he was doing earlier when you called him handsome.

:ZtoltBC: Ngg!?
:TristanBC: What was that, Sir Ztolt?
:ZtoltBC: S-shut up…
:TristanBC: Heh…

>So does your kind have an instinct for social grooming?
:ZtoltBC: No? I mean… we don’t have anything to groom in the first place?
:TristanBC: So you don’t clean each other? …or give massages? Or hug?
:ZtoltBC: Hugs happens, yes, and so do massages, but we don’t clean each other, no. That’s what we used to use those sucker fishes for.
:TristanBC: Sucker fish?
:ZtoltBC: Yeah, it’s kind of an old, expensive tradition nowadays, but we used to lay in the rivers back home and let the fish eat us clean. Of course, nowadays we just take a freaking bath and get the shit off that way, like normal people.
:TristanBC: Huh…
>Hold his hand.
You let your hand travel down his neck, past his bowtie and down his shoulder. It is really… round? Rounder than you thought? Then you continue your path across his arm, noticing on the way that it is seemingly bendable on far more places than your own arm, before finally arriving at your destination. As you embrace his hand with your own, it’s clear he doesn’t fully understand what you’re doing, making it feel like you’re holding the hand of a… well… pet… um…
>After a few seconds release him because hand holding is supper gay.
But what if you want to be super happy, huh?
>But this is supper, and Tristan is gay!
This is lunch, not supper… and you’re not gay, you’re more like… bi? Pan? You’re whatever you are when you like dicking cute girls, getting dicked by cute guys, getting mounted by handsome, blind dragon boys and are willing to get blown by a creature whose mere visage will drive normal people mad. But fuck labels, they are just shit that’s get in the way anyway. If you want to fuck an eldritch abomination, you’re going to fuck and eldritch abomination!

>Good god, how much more resolution are you losing by not being underwater?
:ZtoltBC: Resolution? No, it’s more like… some parts are… missing? Undefined? There’s often so much noise and other things around when you’re out like this, making it hard to hear the details, but if you under water… well… then it’s easy to hear everything. Not to mention that the vibrating water goes around your body, making you look more… well… 3 dimensional? Out here… well… at times I hear your body stretching all the way back to the wall behind you, making it hard to hear just how big you are.
>That's it, we have GOT to go swimming together! Do you know a place where we can swim and can be as loud as we want?
:ZtoltBC: As I said, I usually just use the large pool back home, but we will probably not be left alone there. Otherwise… I’m sure there are a few public baths around? …or spas? I’m sure I can pull a few strings to get one cleaned out on short notice. Or we can just use my tub if you can do without swimming around part.
:TristanBC: Hmm… well, it would be fun either way…
:ZtoltBC: Wait, weren’t we going to that pub? …or was it the festival? Or do you rather go for a swim?
:TristanBC: It is tempting…
:ZtoltBC: Either way, I’m going to need to… um… visit the gents first, but after that… what do you want to do?
:TristanBC: Hmm… let me think… but first thing first!

You give him a quick scratch behind the ear, to the surprise of Ztolt but to the delight of his foot.

:ZtoltBC: Ah! H-hey, s-stop that!
:TristanBC: Make me~
:ZtoltBC: …f-fine… continue…
:TristanBC: Scritchi scrich!
>>
No. 976071 ID: b1b4f3

>>976069
It's more like you're holding a foot, isn't it? What about his neck, looks like there are some bigger scales there or something.
Anyway this is probably embarrassing for him so that's enough scritches for now.

I still want to go to the festival.
>>
No. 976072 ID: 2aa5f0

well I say head to the pub next and see how the two of you are feeling after that. If you both feel lazy and want to relax hit a spa or something low effort, if you both feel fine that continue with the original plan and head to the festival.
>>
No. 976081 ID: ba56e6

>>976072
Agreed
>>
No. 976100 ID: 652b23

>>976072
A pint never goes wrong. And Festivals always have something interesting to do.
>>
No. 976138 ID: 36784c

>>976069
Alright, you've had your fun, but I think it's time to stop now. He seemed to be getting a little uncomfortable with the petting.

>Pub or festival?
Do you know how strong the alien alcohol is? You said it yourself, you easily get shitfaced, so even their least alcoholic drink might knock you on your ass!

I think skipping the pub and going straight to the festival might be better.
>>
No. 976143 ID: 9f00f4

Both the pub AND the festival sound fun! Besides, just stay with the alcohol by volume (and quantity of liquid) you're used to and you'll be fine.
>>
No. 976208 ID: f8fa51

Yeah, you were going to go to a bar, so go do that.
>>
No. 976390 ID: 2c5282
File 160012692867.png - (71.14KB , 700x550 , 31.png )
976390

>It's more like you're holding a foot, isn't it?
It’s more like holding the paw of an animal, so yes, it’s kind of like holding a foot.
>What about his neck, looks like there are some bigger scales there or something.
Most of the scales on his neck are pretty much the same, though there are some sharp spikes on the back of it.


>Anyway this is probably embarrassing for him so that's enough scritches for now.
:ZtoltBC: …thank you.
:TristanBC: So… do you want to continue later?
:ZtoltBC: … … …*huff* m-maybe…
:TristanBC: heh…
>A pint never goes wrong.
:ZtoltBC: A what?
:TristanBC: A pint? You know, a fucking glass of piss water that gets you shitfaced?
:ZtoltBC: Oh! You mean a chug of knockout juice? So I gather you want to hit the bar next then? Though I’m not sure I’m up to getting shitfaced, because by the darkness sake, that doesn’t sound pleasant.
:TristanBC: Heh, the idea is not to get shitfaced, but mistakes are made when you’re drunk, eh?
:ZtoltBC: Ugh, no fucking shit…
>After the pub, if you both feel lazy and want to relax hit a spa or something low effort, if you both feel fine that continue with the original plan and head to the festival.
:ZtoltBC: That sounds like a plan, though remember that I owe you a dinner, right?
:TristanBC: Only if I get to pay for the lunch!
:ZtoltBC: Well, I was going to take the initiative and offer to myself, but if you insist.
:TristanBC: Hey, no sweat, mate.
:ZtoltBC: Then it is settled.

:ZtoltBC: Right, but before we leave I need to… um… visit the gents, yes. How about you pay for the meal while you wait?
:TristanBC: I’ll do that.
:ZtoltBC: Be right back, Tristan.
:TristanBC: Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave, Ztolt.
:ZtoltBC: I’m… not sure what you meant with that but I’m going to take it as a compliment, because why the fuck not, right?

And with that he walks away, disappearing into the depths of the café.
>>
No. 976391 ID: 2c5282
File 160012693671.png - (50.02KB , 700x550 , 32.png )
976391

>Do you know how strong the alien alcohol is? You said it yourself, you easily get shitfaced, so even their least alcoholic drink might knock you on your ass!
Don’t worry, you’ve been to that pub a few times before. After all, you’ve had a few gigs there and there’s always a party after those things!
>Just stay with the alcohol by volume (and quantity of liquid) you're used to and you'll be fine.
Right… which is usually so fucking simple when you’re nervous about a date while in the process of getting drunk…


:TozyBC: ‘ey, you there, the broad in the leather!
:TristanBC: Huh? Who? Me?

Suddenly, a… female(?) Raolme, and a rather fat one at that, skitters across the floor towards you, stopping abruptly right in front of you.

:TozyBC: Who else would I be talking to, eh wise guy!? See, some people don’t appreciate you getting too close to Sir Ztolt, so you better leave or we’ll need to teach you some respect, capiche?

She tries and fail to discreetly hand you 100cred bill, which isn’t even enough to cover the lunch you just ordered…

:TozyBC: ‘ere’s for the trouble. For darkness sake, this doesn’t need to be ‘ard, you just need to leave and forget about this and we’ll forget about you as well! Bada boom bada bing!

…who the fuck is this wanking git of a shit stain who is trying to piss all over your bloody date? Damn pillock is just begging to get her arse kicked!

:TozyBC: So take the moolah and get out of ‘ere, chump!
>>
No. 976394 ID: cdabe3

... is she his sister
>>
No. 976395 ID: f56a2b

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood. Run along now."
>>
No. 976397 ID: a1c44a

Even if I hated him for such a pathetic bribe I'd keep seeing him out of spite. Unlucky for you I happen to really like Zotl. Now please leave me alone.
>>
No. 976398 ID: 2aa5f0

pretend your translator is being wonky and purposely misunderstand her.

Sorry my translator is acting up, you want change and to take a dump? Well ask the cashier for some change I guess and bathrooms are that way.

keep mishearing them. Oh and if it tries to bit you just hit it with a chair.
>>
No. 976405 ID: a38353

"wow, didn't know assholes could speak, but here you are."

don't even bother with them.
>>
No. 976410 ID: bc4729

Mate, i don't want any trouble, but we are going to have some if you keep being a prick. I am trying to have a nice date with an handsome young man and you are being a bother. So pretty please, fuck off?
>>
No. 976412 ID: cf24dd

Make sure you take a picure of them. Just be polite and offer them a seat until ztolt gets back. Just chat and waste their time, annoyed is okat but you don't want their family actually getting angry at you.
>>
No. 976416 ID: b1b4f3

Tell her that Ztolt told you about his sisters. She's going to have to start showing him some respect if she wants an ounce of yours. She can start by fucking right off.
>>
No. 976421 ID: e19a40

Don't answer her, don't even say anything. Ignore her as much as possible while you pay the bill and wait for Ztolt to return. Whatever is going on here you better consult him.
>>
No. 976422 ID: b1b4f3

If you do take a picture, don't forget to set it to Raolme mode.
>>
No. 976424 ID: 36784c

>>976391
Pretend your translator isn’t working and announce loudly. “What’s that? You want to pay me to have sex with you? Sorry, I’m not a prostitute. Besides, I’m currently in the middle of a date, so I can’t leave.”

……hey, Tristan, can you whistle? Because Raolme are sensitive to loud noises, so if she keeps messing with you, you can whistle at her.

All you really need to do is stall until Ztolt comes back. Just make sure you don’t let this lady bully you into leaving. And no matter how much money she tries to give you, don’t take any of it.
>>
No. 976426 ID: f8fa51

>>976421
Agreed. You don't know who this is or what this is about, and anything you do say could betray your ignorance. Yes, there's some assumptions you could make but nothing concrete. Just ignore them.
>>
No. 976442 ID: ba56e6

>>976412
This.
>>
No. 976447 ID: a9af05

>>976391
I wonder if she's one of the sisters that Ztolt mentioned?

Just ignore her until Ztolt comes back. Don't let her try to force you out either.
>>
No. 976448 ID: 3d5d68

>>976391
chill, no need to cause a scene which would mess with the date.
not enough info on who this is to start talking shit, best politely turn them down and wait for Ztolt to come back.
>>
No. 976479 ID: ba56e6

Ztolt definitely did not have that accent. Did she rig her translator intentionally to sound like a movie mobster?
>>
No. 976521 ID: 2c5282
File 160030238225.png - (93.07KB , 700x550 , 33.png )
976521

>Pretend your translator is being wonky and purposely misunderstand her.
While it might be funny, you’re not sure you can come up with enough bullshit to make it sound believable.
>Oh and if it tries to bite you just hit it with a chair.
That’s a horrible idea! Chairs are slow and expensive! No, instead you kick them in the balls! …or in this case, their… head? It’s kind of in the right place?
>Hey, Tristan, can you whistle? Because Raolme are sensitive to loud noises, so if she keeps messing with you, you can whistle at her.
Hmm… that might work, sure, but it might also hurt any other Raolme around, including Ztolt, so it’s a bit of an overkill?
>... is she his sister.
…maybe? You’re not sure how to tell but… she’s green instead of red and both her ears and snout has a different shape compared to Ztolt, so… maybe not?
>Ztolt definitely did not have that accent. Did she rig her translator intentionally to sound like a movie mobster?
You’re pretty sure she’s trying to sound like a movie mobster from one of their movies and the translator is using the slangs from our movies to compensate… wait, doesn’t that mean that they are teaching the translator by showing it our movies?
>Chill, no need to cause a scene which would mess with the date.
Right. As much as you want to give this bitch a verbal beat down, you’re on a date… and need to keep fucking calm for once…


>I am trying to have a nice date with a handsome young man and you are being a bother. So pretty please, fuck off?
:TozyBC: Oh, but that’s the problem, you dimwitted broad! The boss said that no one was go out with the boy, so they sent me to make sure it stayed that way, see?
>"You're lucky I'm in a good mood. Run along now."
:TozyBC: Oh, I’m sure you’re in a good mood after I gave you that… hmhm, incense, hmm? Now, if you want more where that came from, doll… why… just blow Sir Ztolt and be gone!
:TristanBC: …I’m pretty sure you meant incentive, not incense… and you made it sound like you wanted me to- you know what, never mind. Here, you can your comically small bribe back…
:TozyBC: Oh? It’s not enough cabbage for ya, toots? Then how about this?
:TristanBC: ...that’s 20 credits more… I can buy… what… a fucking soda with that?
:TozyBC: You can buy two sodas! …err… two small sodas… um…
:TristanBC: …yeah, how about… no?
>Even if I hated him for such a pathetic bribe I'd keep seeing him out of spite.
:TozyBC: How about if I offer you this sweet ice!?
:TristanBC: That’s a keychain…
:TozyBC: It’s a diamond!
:TristanBC: Made of plastic…

>Just ignore her until Ztolt comes back. Don't let her try to force you out either.
:TozyBC: I see you want to do this the ‘ard way, eh? Fine, then let’s do this the ‘ard way! If you don’t leave right now I’ll make sure you’re going to need a meat wagon, capiche?
:TristanBC:
:TozyBC: I’ll make you enter the big sleep, you dimwitted bim!
:TristanBC:
:TozyBC: I’ll give you a Razzikan Overcoat to sleep in!
:TristanBC: …*sigh*
>Just be polite and offer them a seat until ztolt gets back.
:TristanBC: How about this, you can take a seat, shut the fuck up and wait for Ztolt to come back?
:TozyBC: No way, you’re leaving before ‘e gets back, or I’ll bop ya!
:TristanBC:
>Make sure you take a picure of them. Don't forget to set it to Raolme mode.
You quickly pull out your datapad and snap a picture of her. It makes the same weird clicking sound as last time.

:TozyBC: D-did you just take a picture of me!?
:TristanBC: Yes. Now sod off or I’ll show it to Ztolt.
:TozyBC: Oh, fuck no, you’re not! Give it to me!

She stands up on her hind legs in an attempt to get closer to your eyelevel while opening her maw to show of row after row of wicked teeth. It might have been a bit intimidating if it wasn’t for her losing her balance and having to grab your leg to prevent herself from falling over.

:TozyBC: Do you know who I am!?
:TristanBC: Should I?
:TozyBC: I’m fucking Tozy of the Xai family! I’m going to ruin your darn life and all your friends lives if you don’t-
:TristanBC: OKAY, ENOUGH! Listen here, you little shit, I have no idea who you are, why you trying to do this or for whom, but know this.
:TozyBC: I w-
:TristanBC: If you so much look at one of my friends I’m going to shove your head so far up your fucking arse that it’s going to be protected by your freaking ribcage, capiche?
:TozyBC: B-but I- err…

You see her head dart to the side, as if she just heard something and it doesn’t take long for you to figure out what. At the other side of the café you can see Ztolt leaving the bathrooms and starting to make his way over to you. Too bad he’s blind and can’t see this fucker trying to intimidate you.

:TozyBC: Aw, nincompoop! This isn’t over!

She’s starts to leave, letting go of you and landing back on all four of her claws. If you wanted to, you might be able to keep her for Ztolt to find… or you can just let her go and hope she’ll stay out of the way…
>>
No. 976523 ID: b1b4f3

>>976521
Hmm, right. A stalker, then. I'm guessing either Xai is a rival family, or she's claiming to be someone she isn't. Since she didn't leave when you asked I guess you're free to show the picture to Ztolt. No need to make her stay here; that would probably cause more trouble than it's worth.
>>
No. 976525 ID: 36784c

>>976521
Call out to Tozy and say, “By the way, I’m not a broad, I’m a guy.”

I don’t think you should keep this a secret. You should tell Ztolt about what happened and show him the picture you took.
>>
No. 976527 ID: 2aa5f0

bet she's just some girl that has a crush on Ztolt and either hasn't approached him for one reason or another or was rejected for being a bitch. Maybe bring her up but honestly it would rather just to focus back on the date.
>>
No. 976530 ID: b1b4f3

He'll be able to smell her anyway, hiding it would make you look bad.
>>
No. 976532 ID: 14c138

Tell her to stop being an creepy otherfucker and leave Ztolt alone.
Then tell him what happened, he deserves to know. But be reasuaring, don't make a fuss out of it.
>>
No. 976533 ID: 0d6409

If anything the photo seemed like a good plan to intimidate and maybe get insurance, we don't need to bring it up and stress our man Zstolt out on the first date.

As long as your honest later its fine, this is a first date, just don't keep it a secret. No real harm done anyways right? Just some weird jealous nobody who got in the way of a great date so far.
>>
No. 976540 ID: a38353

Xai was Ztolt's family i think, so it was probably somone related to him in some way atleast. weirdly entertaining, though.

We should tell Ztolt the whole thing.
>>
No. 976541 ID: f8fa51

Them calling you a broad isn't important. You really don't care if they know what your gender is, or their opinion on much of anything really, as long as they stay away from you and Ztolt.

As for trying to stop them from getting away... why would you? You have a picture, and you wanted them to go away and leave you alone anyway. The real question is whether you want to show Ztolt that picture. It might ruin the mood.
>>
No. 976551 ID: ba56e6

Let the dumb broad leave.
>>
No. 976559 ID: a9af05

>>976521
Ztolt is going to smell Tozy's scent on you, so there's no point in trying to hide that she was here. You might as well tell him what's going on.
>>
No. 976560 ID: 19da02

Tell him that some crazy chick wanted you to blow him in the bathroom, which you aren't opposed to, but thought it would be polite to ask him first.
>>
No. 976633 ID: 2c5282
File 160046924322.png - (81.94KB , 700x550 , 34.png )
976633

>I'm guessing either Xai is a rival family, or she's claiming to be someone she isn't.
Wait, didn’t Ztolt say his family was called Xai? Which means… they are related? So she was his sister or… did she lie? But why lie about that? She might just have been a shitty liar, of course…
>Xai was Ztolt's family i think, so it was probably someone related to him in some way at least.
Sir Ztolte tol Xai… which you guess means the Xai family… so they were related? Or…?
>Bet she's just some girl that has a crush on Ztolt and either hasn't approached him for one reason or another or was rejected for being a bitch.
If she had a crush on him it would be kind of awkward if they were indeed related… which means she has to have lied about it if that’s her motive. Or she can be a really distant relative? …or maybe they don’t fucking care about gross shit like that? They are aliens, who knows!?

>Tell her to stop being a creepy motherfucker and leave Ztolt alone.
:TozyBC: A wise gal, eh? See, I’m just doing my job, capiche?
:TristanBC: Well, go do your stinking job somewhere else then!
>“By the way, I’m not a broad, I’m a guy.”
:TozyBC: …y-you’re a wh- Aw shit.
>Let the dumb broad leave.
She scrambles off at a surprising speed for her… “size”, and you let her, figuring that it’s probably too much of a fucking bother stopping her to be worth it.

:ZtoltBC: Hmm, where you just talking to someone?


>He'll be able to smell her anyway, hiding it would make you look bad.
:ZtoltBC: *Sniff*Sniff* Why do you suddenly smell like cheap perfume?
:TristanBC: As soon as you left, some lady Raolme started harassing me about you.
:ZtoltBC: Huh? What? Who would dare to… why would… what happened?
>Tell him that some crazy chick wanted you to blow him in the bathroom, which you aren't opposed to, but thought it would be polite to ask him first.
:ZtoltBC: She wanted you to… that can’t be right?
:TristanBC: I’m pretty sure she meant blow this joint and leave you, but it came out wrong. She even tried to bribe me with 120creds!
:ZtoltBC: 120k? That’s a lot of pocket change just to ruin a date…
:TristanBC: No, 120 credits. No extra zeros or any other shit.
:ZtoltBC: …okay, that makes both more sense and less at the same time. Who would try to bribe someone with that petty sum?
:TristanBC: That was what I fucking thought!
:ZtoltBC: But you were joking about the blowing me in the bathroom, right?
:TristanBC: Err… sure…?
:ZtoltBC: Because we barely know each other, for starters. Not to mention that doing it in a fucking public toilet is kind of disgusting.
:TristanBC: R-right…
>You should tell Ztolt about what happened and show him the picture you took.
:ZtoltBC: Huh… I can’t shake the feeling I’ve met her before…
:TristanBC: She did say she was part of the Xai family…
:ZtoltBC: She did? Wait, what was her fragrance? Which color did she smell off?
:TristanBC: Dude, I don’t have that kind of bloody smell. I can say she was green, though.
:ZtoltBC: Ugh, she probably was from the Xaiken part then. They are rather far removed from myself, so it’s a given they would be broke as shit. Of course, this probably means someone hired her to annoy me.
:TristanBC: You don’t sound surprised at all.
:ZtoltBC: It’s probably one of my idiotic sisters… or both of them. I wouldn’t put it past those masturbators. Also kind of wished you would have kept that fucker here so I would have had a chance to teach her some respect and not to mess with me. No matter. Let’s forget about that and enjoy the rest of the day, shall we?
:TristanBC: Fuck yeah! Let’s forget about those wankers and party, mate! I just need to pay for the food and we’ll be off to the pub!
:ZtoltBC: A drink does sound like a smell in the eternal darkness right now.

Before you can leave, Ztolt’s tail whips around his body holding what looks like some kind of cigar.

:ZtoltBC: Also, of course I forget my lighter at home. You don’t happen to have some fire on you? Wait, maybe I should ask if the pub is smoke free or not. Wait, no, I should ask if you want a cigar as well first! …err… I mean, I should ask if you don’t mind me smoking… first…?
>>
No. 976635 ID: 4854ef

Tiny mobster continues to act like tiny mobster. Though you should probably check to see if this place allows smoking. Do you see any signs?
>>
No. 976636 ID: b1b4f3

>>976633
That "cigar" must smell completely unlike an Earth cigar considering how bad tobacco smoke smells. If you've got a lighter in your bag hand it over, but no cigar for you. Bad for your lungs anyway.
>>
No. 976639 ID: ce39da

"Eh, I don't think the smell is completely awful, and it's not like we were going to be doing oral. Sorry to say I don't have a light. Aren't those bad for you? Or is that just our biology and/or cigars?"
>>
No. 976646 ID: 2aa5f0

tell him not to worry about it and light up his fag if you can. and if you've been to that pub before you should know if they allow smoking or not.
>>
No. 976647 ID: 9f00f4

Don't mention sex stuff right now! It went badly last time, time to put the damn brakes on that!

Wait for alcohol to lubricate the conversation first before mentioning any sex stuff.

For example, he didn't have the cultural context of illicit homosexual liaisons in bathrooms, which stems from how in your world, homosexuality was taboo and/or illegal for centuries (and still is in some places), and men had to find private places for emotionless, quick trysts to find some level of sexual satisfaction. Really, the fact he was repulsed by the smell or lack of sanitation of all things means that his world is likely further from any equivalent taboos that would necessitate such furtive (and ultimately tragic if you think about it--they're about meaningless sex, not finding love!) traditions.
>>
No. 976648 ID: 36784c

>>976633
Pay for the food and go outside before you help Ztolt light his cigar. And don’t forget your umbrella! It’d suck if the sun fucked up your shit during your date!

Tell Ztolt that you’ll pass on smoking, but you don’t mind if he smokes. If he asks why you’ve got a lighter when you don’t smoke, tell him that one of your band mates also smokes and you carry it around for when he/she forgets his/her lighter. You’re a nice guy like that.
>>
No. 976654 ID: a38353

Smoke em if ya got em.
But not really, no smoking for us, but if we have a lighter help him out.
>>
No. 976659 ID: 14c138

Not a smoker but you are around places where people smoke, so all good in that department.
>>
No. 976733 ID: 6e6f32

Sure, I'll take a cigar. Though last time i smoked it was a blunt...
>>
No. 976740 ID: 3d5d68

>>976633
well of course you've got a light, burning things is sweet and you've got bandmates who need a light from time to time, although you've never had a proper cigar before... probably best to decline for now, with how well-tuned Raolme sense of smell is they are probably pretty intense... but fuck it, if he offers a try of his don't turn it down, you only live once
>>
No. 976752 ID: ba56e6

>>976654
Yeah.
Trist smokes, but not cigs.
>>
No. 976760 ID: 2c5282
File 160056369683.png - (93.33KB , 700x550 , 35.png )
976760

>Tiny mobster continues to act like tiny mobster.
While it is adorable, it’s also getting a bit concerning… after all, what if he is the son of some motherfucking mafia boss who’ll give you concrete shoes and throw you in some shitty lake as soon as you slip up and slight him? While you’re all for sticking it to the man, a genuine crime family might be a bit too hot to handle… not to mention that they’ll probably are part of the man in the first place... or you’re just having some crappy paranoid fantasies again and Ztolt here is fine and decent…

>Don't mention sex stuff right now! It went badly last time, time to put the damn brakes on that!
He does indeed seem a bit more prudish about the subject than you are, so you’ll probably need to tone it down a few notches.
>Last time i smoked it was a blunt...
You have no idea how he, or for that matter, this very world will react to the subject of dope. Let’s shut the fuck up about the subject until you know more. It’s not like your addicted or anything anyway… nor have any idea how the find the stuff here…
>Don’t forget your umbrella! It’d suck if the sun fucked up your shit during your date!
Don’t worry, you’re not that much of a stinking sod that you’ll forget your stuff, including the ‘brella and glasses.
>Pay for the food.
You’ll pay on the way out, no sweat.


>Smoke em if ya got em.
:ZtoltBC: Well, if you don’t mind me puff some scummy smoke…
>No cigar for you. Bad for your lungs anyway.
:ZtoltBC: Heh, this is a fine cigar, Tristan, not cheap shit you just puff. You don’t pull this kind of scum into your lungs, just getting it into your mouth is enough.
:TristanBC: They are still a toxin or some crap, no?
:ZtoltBC: These things? Nah, getting your hands on anything that’s dangerous is way to expensive around these parts… besides, why poison the body when you can get the good shit without it.
:TristanBC: So nicotine is illegal here?
:ZtoltBC: I have no idea what that is, but if it’s dangerous then probably?
:TristanBC: Hmm… my mate did have to give away her packet of fags when we arrived, now that I think about it… had to smoke these weird purple sticks since then…
:ZtoltBC: Don’t go for those cigs myself. Prefer the finer shit, you know.

>With how well-tuned Raolme sense of smell is they are probably pretty intense...
:ZtoltBC: Ha! These things aren’t for just any scum suckers, true, but they aren’t that bad.
:TristanBC: They do look fucking expensive if anything.
:ZtoltBC: Nah, these things aren’t that opulent. You can’t get the really good shit on this ass end of the galaxy without going through some major hoops. These things might be better than the scum you buy at the store, but that’s just because we grow it ourselves… I mean, we don’t actually… we just own the business that makes them.
:TristanBC: You make your own cigars?
:ZtoltBC: If you want quality for a fair price… though of course, it’s never made a profit, but getting this stuff is worth it.
:TristanBC: I’m sure it fucking is, mate.
>But fuck it, if he offers a try of his don't turn it down, you only live once.
:ZtoltBC: Heh, you can take a drag if you want later.
:TristanBC: I just might.
>You've been to that pub before you should know if they allow smoking or not.
:TristanBC: The bar does have a smoking section, so it should be fine. Want me to light that fucker up for you or do you want to wait?
:ZtoltBC: I was mostly concern about not getting it lit at all, but if you have some fire then by the darkness I needn’t worry! No, I’ll save these bad boys for when we’re sitting still and enjoying a glass of [TNF!].
:TristanBC: My arse do need a pint right now, true…
:ZtoltBC: By the way, why do you have a lighter if you don’t smoke?
:TristanBC: One of my mates in the band is a smoker and she’s complete shit when it comes to remembering to bring stuff with her, so I’ve just made it a habit to always have lighter on me for her sake. I’m just a fucking sweet guy like that.
:ZtoltBC: That does sound kind of like a sweet thing to do.
:TristanBC: Besides, it’s always fun to burn stuff anyway, heh.
:ZtoltBC: Ugh, can’t stand the smell of smoke myself, so no thanks.
:TristanBC: But speaking of burning daylight…

You arrive at the pub that you’ve had your recent gigs at, a place called Interstellar Harmonics. They specialize in weird alien music and even weirder alien booze, making it a perfect place for an alien like yourself to make some quick cash and get shitfaced. Not to mention they are the only place on this whole fucking planet that serves a proper fucking pint of piss water.

Outside you spot the new bouncer, who just happened to be your other roommate. He did talk about getting a job in security a few days ago, but you didn’t think it was at this place. What was this muscle heads name again? Eh… can’t really remember, but who the fuck cares anyway…

:TristanBC: Hey, my man!
:ReedBC: Eh? Oh! It’s you! Yo, bro! What’s up?
:TristanBC: Oh, not much. Just going for a pint with this handsome fellow here.
:ZtoltBC: Do you know this man?
:TristanBC: He’s my roommate, mate. So, are you going to let us in or…?
:ReedBC: Oh, err… well, about that, dude… we’re kind of full?
:TristanBC: …what? It’s the middle of the day? Why are you full already?
:ReedBC: Apparently there’s some kind of popular band playing tonight, so people have been reserving seats for the whole day just to not miss out.
:TristanBC: Fucking seriously?
:ReedBC: I know, it sucks, bro. I mean, there’s barely anyone inside right now, but that might change any moment, you know? So sorry, nothing I can do, dude.

You feel Ztolt tug on your jacket, signaling for you to bend down so he can whisper to you…

:ZtoltBC: You want me to deal with him?

…what does he even mean with that? It sounded kind of ominous. While you’re not really friends, this guy is still your roommate, so you’re sure you can persuade him to let the two of you the fuck in… probably. Of course, you can always just accept that this place is full and leave… but you really wanted that pint…
>>
No. 976769 ID: b1b4f3

>>976760
His name's Reed. What's the matter, don't like him very much?
No seats, huh? What about standing room? You're just looking to have a drink and listen to a little music. You won't be staying that long. Heck, it's pretty likely someone's going to miss their reservation anyway.

If he won't budge, see what Ztolt will do. It's a good test to see if you're in over your head or not.
>>
No. 976771 ID: f8fa51

>>976760
Ask Ztolt what he's suggesting. You don't want to be "that guy", and you can always go somewhere else if need be. No need to be pushy.
>>
No. 976776 ID: 3d5d68

>>976760
eh, in any other situation I'd say do whatever but you don't want any shit coming back on ye roomie. Goes against bro code. so it's fine, there's other places around. Maybe Ztolt can think of somewhere? or maybe it'd be an idea to head to the festival now and get drinks after
>>
No. 976787 ID: 19fdd8

>>976760
He's just doing his job. See if you can reserve seating too, though.
>>
No. 976789 ID: a38353

Eh, if the Bar is a no go we might as well just get to the festival stuff instead.
>>
No. 976795 ID: 2aa5f0

hmm, quick question. Do they have a beer garden at the festival? Might not be the same but if you can grab some booze and figure out what you two want to do at the festival once you finish your drinks it should all work out in the end.
>>
No. 976799 ID: ba56e6

>>976760
Ask Reed if there's some way he can swing it. You'll owe him one, he knows you don't cop out on that shit.
>>
No. 976872 ID: 36784c

>>976760
>You want me to deal with him?
Tell Ztolt that sounds really ominous and almost like he’s going to hurt Reed.

Remind Ztolt that Reed is your roommate and you have to live with him, so if he’s going to do something, ask him to please not do something to Reed that would hurt him.
>>
No. 976884 ID: 77abda

"Deal with him?" You are going to have to elaborate. You mean like, bribe him? That wouldn't be that bad. That's what money is for, right? If it's not money, then no, thank you, you can do something else for now.
>>
No. 976908 ID: a9af05

>>976760
Tell Ztolt to go ahead, but please don't hurt the person you have to live with.
>>
No. 976980 ID: 2c5282
File 160082074831.png - (77.46KB , 700x550 , 36.png )
976980

>His name's Reed.
Oh, yeah, that’s fucking right. Reed! That’s his name! You think…
>What's the matter, don't like him very much?
He’s probably a sweet guy who has his shit together, it’s just that you just don’t have a lot in common, seeing as he’s a muscle head sport guy and you’re… well… you.
>In any other situation I'd say do whatever but you don't want any shit coming back on ye roomie. Goes against bro code.
Not sure if you would call him a bro, but you would be a real arse to ruin his shit just to impress your date. So let’s try being a swell guy to him.


>hmm, quick question. Do they have a beer garden at the festival?
:ZtoltBC: …a what garden?
:TristanBC: An alcohol garden?
:ZtoltBC: …I have to admit, by the darkness that sounds fucking sweet, but I don’t think they have any kind of gardens at all at that place. As for alcohol, there’s either expensive, cultural stuff that’s an acquired taste or cheap shit that’s way overpriced.
:TristanBC: So… that’s a no then…
>Ask Ztolt what he's suggesting.
:ZtoltBC: Oh, you know… I’ll contact some people that will… heh… convince him to let us pass…
>Tell Ztolt that sounds really ominous and almost like he’s going to hurt Reed.
:ZtoltBC: What? Hurt h- I was just going to call his boss! Then it’s a simple task of explaining to them why it would be a good idea to let us inside, no?
:TristanBC: Uh huh…
:ZtoltBC: You know how it is. You know people who know people, so people always want to be on your good side and owe you a favor…
:TristanBC: I can’t say that I do… Either way, let me try talking to him first, alright?
:ZtoltBC: If you wish…
>It's a good test to see if you're in over your head or not.
He didn’t want to hurt him, sure, but… you’re still not sure if he was going to threaten people or not with that call…


>No seats, huh? What about standing room?
:ReedBC: Bro, you know what I mean when I say we’re fully booked, man. It means we’re full!
:TristanBC: Yes, I gathered as much.
:ReedBC: Also, I don’t think we have a room for standing around in…
>Ask Reed if there's some way he can swing it. You'll owe him one, he knows you don't cop out on that shit.
:ReedBC: Dude, you seem like a rad guy and all, but I don’t think you’ve ever owed me anything before?
:TristanBC: Wait, really?
:ReedBC: Or have you, dude? I usually don’t owe people things… it’s more fun to just help people, bro.
:TristanBC: Well, then you can help me and my friend here right now, eh?
:ReedBC: I don’t know… my boss wouldn’t appreciate me going around swinging anything that might be dangerous… and I don’t really see how me swinging anything would help you get inside, dude…
:TristanBC: …that’s not what I fucking meant…

>You're just looking to have a drink and listen to a little music. You won't be staying that long.
:ReedBC: Hmm… I guess there’s room right now…
:TristanBC: It’s not like we’re going to stay for the band everyone wants to hear. Hell, it's pretty likely someone's going to miss their reservation anyway or some shit.
:ReedBC: I don’t know, man… if my boss catches me letting people in when we’re full, dude, I might get in trouble…
:TristanBC: He don’t need to know, does he? If we leave before it get freaking full, not one arse will know that you let us in, eh? So no sweat, mate.
:ReedBC: I guess it wouldn’t hurt…
:TristanBC: And you would do a good deed, helping me and my date get a pint or two, eh? So what do you say, mate, deal?
:ReedBC: Date? That’s you’re date, bro? Man, how did you meet someone that fast after coming here?
:TristanBC: Oh! Glad you asked mate! I got a site just for you if you wish to meet cute aliens like this one here.
:ZtoltBC: I’m not cute…
:ReedBC: Well, they aren’t exactly my type, dude, but… well…
:TristanBC: Say no more. Here, let me show you something.

With well-practiced grace, you slide up right next to him and tap a few times on the data pad he is holding, bringing up the interspecies dating site you found earlier.

:TristanBC: Aliena Affinitas, when you want to meet a cute alien girl… or gent…
:ReedBC: Oh, that’s… I do have to give this site a look. Thanks man.
:TristanBC: So, are you willing to let us in now, mate? I’ll still owe ya… and worst case scenario you can just kick us out again, right?
:ReedBC: I guess… Alright, fine, just promise me not to cause a scene, bro.
:TristanBC: I promise, mate.
:ZtoltBC: You got my word, good sir.
:ReedBC: I’ll send you a message when people start arriving so you know when to leave, alright, dude?
:TristanBC: Sure, sure, don’t sweat it man. You won’t even notice we’re here.
:ReedBC: And good luck with the date, bro.
:TristanBC: Same, mate!
>>
No. 976981 ID: 2c5282
File 160082076046.png - (89.11KB , 700x550 , 37.png )
976981

The two of you find a vacant seat near the back of the establishment, where the two of you will get some privacy while still being able to see the scene, which is currently occupied by a large tank of water for some reason? You barely have the time to ponder why that is before you attention is stolen by Ztolt, who is trying his hardest to scamper up the tall chairs they have here.

:ZtoltBC: Ugh, these chairs aren’t designed for someone like me…
:TristanBC: I’m sure we can find some more suitable shit if-
:ZtoltBC: No, no, this is fine. Oh, and I’m impressed how you handled the muscles out there. You’re a fast scummer, if anything.
:TristanBC: Thanks?
:ZtoltBC: By the way, did you have a light?
:TristanBC: Right here, mate.

You flip open your lighter and let the flame engulf the end of his cigar.

:ZtoltBC: Was that… butane I smelled? How delightfully primitive contraption that thing is…
:TristanBC: Hey, we can’t all be massive fucking interstellar empires with super technology, you know.
:ZtoltBC: Hey, no sweat, we’ve all been the new species, you know. But thank you. Are you sure you don’t want one? They are some good shit.
:TristanBC: I think I’ll be content with just getting a taste from yours, Ztolt.
:ZtoltBC: But you really need to try it while sipping on a [TNF!], because by the eternal dark, it’s like the nectar from the source.
:TristanBC: Honestly, I was just going to grab a pint…
:ZtoltBC: A pint of what? You know, maybe we should try some of each other’s alcohol? We both order something interesting and let the other have a taste? Oh! But speaking of cultural exchange, this would be a great time to discuss your… well, our species as a whole, because I’m still kind of in the dark of whom you guys are. You are a bit weird, after all, standing on two legs and eating pretty much anything…
>>
No. 976984 ID: 77abda

Huh... what DO you know about your species, Tristan? Maybe you can ask him to ask you for more specific information and you can work around that. What did you learn in school?
>>
No. 976985 ID: a38353

Ah, Reed is a himbo, i see.

Oh yes, trying eachothers alcohol, that sounds like a good idea, small amounts though don't want to drink like an entire bottle of their equivalent of like...Everclear or something.

and talking about species stuff sounds like a good plan.
>>
No. 976987 ID: b1b4f3

>>976981
>sampling exotic beverages
Uh, sure. You tried a few other things but found something similar to what you have on Earth so you stuck with that.
Home comforts, am I right?
Still, an occasional adventure doesn't hurt.

>talk about our species
That's a bit difficult, since you don't know all the differences between you and most other aliens. How about he goes first, and talks about what's different between his species and aliens besides you? That should give you some idea of what to talk about.
Also, there are some things you can talk about without knowing what's different. Basic biology, like the skeleton and organs, sleeping and eating habits...
>>
No. 976994 ID: 36784c

>>976981
>your attention is stolen by Ztolt, who is trying his hardest to scamper up the tall chairs they have here.
Make a joke to him about how if he has trouble getting in tall chairs, you’ll be more than happy to grab his butt and help lift him up into the chair.

>drinks
Admit to him that you get shitface easily, so you won’t be ordering anything too strong. After all, you want to have fun on this date and you can’t do that if you pass out drunk!

>species discussion
Tell him to go ahead and ask you some questions and you’ll try to answer as best as you can.
>>
No. 976998 ID: f8fa51

No jokes about the chairs, I think he'd find that demeaning. Sure, an exchange of alcohol would be interesting. You want to ask questions, I'm an open book, but you sure you want to ask me things a computer could tell you?
>>
No. 977001 ID: 2aa5f0

>You know, maybe we should try some of each other’s alcohol?
Sure why not, ask what kind of drink does he like. As in does he prefer sweet drinks (go for something girly, like a margarita), something strong (a shot of whisky), or does he just want to try what you normally drink (just a normal pint).

>You are a bit weird, after all, standing on two legs and eating pretty much anything…
So just kind throw random trivia at each other about our species. Alright. Our spices can consume things that would be considered poisonous to most other creatures on our home world, like caffeine for example, but we can't consume saltwater even though it makes up around 70% of our planet's surface just because it's made up of 2% salt.
>>
No. 977088 ID: 9f00f4

>>976994
No jokes at his expense or innuendo right now!

Anyway, as far as drinks, start him off simple, with samples of beer, wine, maybe some non alcoholic drinks like a cola or iced tea.

Regarding your species, talk a bit about your evolutionary history -- what your animal ancestors were like and what they mostly spent their time doing, what the first pre-agricultural tool-users were like and spent their time doing, stuff like that. Things designed to give him a framework and context for odd behaviors that might pop up later!
>>
No. 977095 ID: 9ddc74

Check if he can consume the following substances: caffeine, cola nut, cocoa, coffee, tea, cow dairy. You want to try at least one of the main non-alcoholic drinks of your civilization: hot tea, coca-cola, chocolate milkshake (or hot chocolate), hot coffee, etc. Ask if he wants a hot or a cold drink, if thick drinks are okay, if he wants a stimulant, or an alcoholic drink. Narrow it down based on answers and what is safe for him.
>>
No. 977142 ID: 2c5282
File 160099047724.png - (60.21KB , 700x550 , 38.png )
977142

>Ah, Reed is a himbo, i see.
Hmm… he is a buff guy, sure, and you’ve never seen him being nothing but fucking sweet… not to mention that he’s clearly a berk with a head full of cabbage, though you’re not sure you would say he is attractive? But still, you might consider him sort of a himbo, yes.
>Make a joke to him about how if he has trouble getting in tall chairs, you’ll be more than happy to grab his butt and help lift him up into the chair.
…does he even have a butt for you to grab? There’s a tail and legs but… not to mention you’re starting to sound like a complete git if you continue making jokes like that. Let’s stop thinking with the knob end for a little while, at least.
>Check if he can consume the following substances…
This is an interspecies designed place. The menu includes a list of what is drinkable by whom.


>Oh yes, trying each other’s alcohol, that sounds like a good idea, small amounts though.
:ZtoltBC: Of course, of course. It’s just for the taste, after all. Heck, if they had a spit bucket around here we might even do it like a proper wine tasting and shit.
:TristanBC: Spit bucket?
:ZtoltBC: Hmm? Oh, you don’t… ah, never mind that scum. It would be rather awkward to sit around spitting on the first date anyhow.
>Admit to him that you get shitface easily, so you won’t be ordering anything too strong.
:ZtoltBC: Why is it called being shitfaced anyway? I mean… that is getting drunk, right?
:TristanBC: Hmm… I have no fucking idea, mate, but I can guess it’s from falling over drunk and getting shit stuck on your face. What do you wankers call it then? I heard you called alcohol knockout juice earlier.
:ZtoltBC: I usually just say that I’m getting a wiggly on the tail, but I’ve heard people call it getting knot brained… or having scum breath.
>You want to try at least one of the main non-alcoholic drinks of your civilization: hot tea, coca-cola, chocolate milkshake (or hot chocolate), hot coffee, etc.
:ZtoltBC: Hey, we have time for that later, mate, now is the time to get some scum on our breaths!
:TristanBC: We can at least drink something other than knockout juice every other drink. That’s a great way to keep yourself from getting to shitfaced!
:ZtoltBC: Really? I can usually keep myself from drinking too much shit in the first place, but that’s good to know.


>You tried a few other things but found something similar to what you have on Earth so you stuck with that. Home comforts, am I right?
:ZtoltBC: Can’t really relate to that, seeing as this has always been my home and has been it for my scum sucking family for generations. So this stuff is already home… of course, it kind of help that me make a lot of this shit ourselves in one way or another… but don’t they have anything from Earth here?
:TristanBC: They do, but it’s kind of expensive and I’m low on fucking dough as it is. So getting a cheap alien pint for a third of the price is worth it, seeing as it all taste like piss water anyway.
:ZtoltBC: Heh, you know, if it taste like piss maybe you should try something new? Oh, and don’t worry about the moolah, Tristan, I’m buying.
:TristanBC: Hey, no need to pay for my fucking sorry broke arse, eh? Makes me feel like a git if I’m just going to be a drain on your cash.
:ZtoltBC: Tristan, it’s just a few glasses of fine nectar. It’s fucking nothing. Trust me.
:TristanBC: Well, aren’t you just a knight in shiny armor coming to my rescue, Sir Ztolt.
:ZtoltBC: Heheh… if only it was that easy to earn that title…
>Start him off simple, with samples of beer, wine, maybe some non-alcoholic drinks like a cola or iced tea.
:ZtoltBC: Simple does sound fine, but let’s only order one drink at the time? Otherwise, everything will start tasting the fucking same, eh? How about we each buy one drink each and share it between us, hmm? That way, if it taste like… piss water we can always give it back, right?
>Does he prefer sweet drinks (go for something girly, like a margarita), something strong (a shot of whisky), or does he just want to try what you normally drink (just a normal pint).
:ZtoltBC: Something strong that you can savor. Not a shot or shit like that, but something that you can sip on while enjoying a nice cigar like a real fatherfucker.
:TristanBC: So, whisky it is!
:ZtoltBC: Whatever you said is fine!


>You want to ask questions, I'm an open book, but you sure you want to ask me things a computer could tell you?
:ZtoltBC: Because it’s a lot more fun hearing it from a fucking gent like yourself than from a boring computer.
:TristanBC: Mate, of course I’m more sweet to listen to than a shitty computer!
>Regarding your species, talk a bit about your evolutionary history -- what your animal ancestors were like and what they mostly spent their time doing, what the first pre-agricultural tool-users were like and spent their time doing, stuff like that.
:TristanBC: We used to be small herbivore bastards who hid around the roots of trees or scampered up the trunks on them, then someone came up with the idea of throwing sharp sticks and suddenly we’re omnivores.
:ZtoltBC: It took some time before we started throwing spears, instead we started making traps and nets, at first simple ones like holes and shit, but before long we should capture mammoths beetles and stab them to death from a safe distance. We also didn’t hang around trees a lot, instead preferring to float around on the rivers.
:TristanBC: Then we started growing shit because we figured you should get shitfaced on it.
:ZtoltBC: Heh, we have a similar story. We started growing shit because we needed to feed our [TNF!] larva, both for the meat they provided but mostly because they shat alcohol.
:TristanBC: Talk about piss water then, mate, hehe…
>Basic biology, like the skeleton and organs, sleeping and eating habits...
:TristanBC: We usually sleep for 8 hours each day, and have two large meals as well as a smaller breakfast.
:ZtoltBC: I usually take two 4 hours naps each day most of the time. As for eating, the normal thing to do is to either constantly eat smaller meals all day long, or one huge one that will last a day or two, though nowadays we usually do two or three medium sized meals.
:TristanBC: As for skeleton and organs… well, our skeleton is kind of boring and normal, I guess? Our organs usually comes in pairs, like lungs or eyes, or we just have one, like our heart and liver.
:ZtoltBC: We can move and grow our skeleton at will… and I don’t think I have any organ that’s… well… just one or two? Our bloodstream has muscles everywhere pumping blood while our lungs are small but plentiful all over our body. Even our brain is located across most of our body.
:TristanBC: Geez, you guys are weird…
:ZtoltBC: You’re the one to talk, mister “I only got one organ which kills me if it fails”. Where’s the redundancy?
>Our spices can consume things that would be considered poisonous to most other creatures on our home world, like caffeine for example, but we can't consume saltwater even though it makes up around 70% of our planet's surface just because it's made up of 2% salt.
:ZtoltBC: Your planet is 70% salt water? Where do you even live?
:TristanBC: On these huge ass continents? The seas are big, sure, but there’s still a lot of land.
:ZtoltBC: We only have one sea back on our origin planet, around one of the poles, but that’s it. And you guys can’t eat salt at all?
:TristanBC: We eat salt, just not salt water.
:ZtoltBC: …that’s just oddly specific… though remind me to never order you a glass of [TNF!] on the salt.

:ZtoltBC: Anyhow, when does the waiter come by?
:TristanBC: Nah, mate, we’ll need to head over to bar and order it directly from the bartender.
:ZtoltBC: Ah, yes, of course! May… um… may you do the honors? Because I swear by the eternal dark that I rather sit on the floor than scamper up this shoddy chair again.
:TristanBC: No prob, mate. One whisky, coming up!
:ZtoltBC: And I’ll take a [TNF!].
:TristanBC: …err… I didn’t quite catch that.
:ZtoltBC: A [TNF!]. [TNF!]! …oh right, the translator probably can’t handle a name like that… um… you pronounce it Sckʘeh, K!’nfc, Efgkǂrt, Kuksu-
:TristanBC: Yeah, no, don’t think I’m going to be able to say that shit, mate.
:ZtoltBC: Oh, well… then… um…
>>
No. 977145 ID: b1b4f3

>>977142
Alright I got an idea. Record him saying the drink's name, then play it back for the bartender.
You could also ask if there are stools more suited for Raolmes.
>>
No. 977147 ID: 2aa5f0

can... can he write it down?
>>
No. 977168 ID: 7c00d9

>>977145
If you have something to record him, it might do the trick. It sounds like scotch, but weirder.
>>
No. 977189 ID: 36784c

>>977142
Recording him might work, if the bar is quiet enough to clearly catch his voice. BUT!!! There’s also a chance the bartender won’t be able to understand the translation either!

So here’s what you should you do: Both of you have your data pads, right? Have Ztolt search for a picture of the drink he’s wanting, then have him send the picture over to your data pad. That way you can show the bartender the picture of what drink Ztolt wants!

And then you can just order your usual drink that you normally get here.
>>
No. 977201 ID: e9cd9e

Just ask for a Skoh Klonfk Vedge-kurt kuksu.
The bartend will probably understand.
Maybe.
Possibly.
>>
No. 977285 ID: 2c5282
File 160116808285.png - (89.04KB , 700x550 , 39.png )
977285

>Just ask for a Skoh Klonfk Vedge-kurt kuksu.
That doesn’t even come close to what he just said. The bloody sounds Ztolt made was more akin of… a large wooden branch getting broken in two, the sound your teeth make when you chew on sand and… you don’t fucking know, a beached whale screaming bloody murder? You’re kind of happy that the translator makes him sound like he’s speaking normally instead of making those sounds, as they made you shudder.
>There’s also a chance the bartender won’t be able to understand the translation either!
Nah, there’s no fucking way the bartender wouldn’t be able to understand it, seeing as it’s their job to serve drinks to all kind of aliens here. Besides, the kinks in the translator are probably still a thing because you’re a new species and they haven’t been able to fix them yet.


>Can... can he write it down?
:ZtoltBC: Do you have anything I can write with… and on?
:TristanBC: There’s a bunch of napkins over there and I’m sure I can a hold of a pen.
:ZtoltBC: …do you have anything that I can actually hear myself writing on?
:TristanBC: Err… no?
:ZtoltBC: Then no.
>Alright I got an idea. Record him saying the drink's name, then play it back for the bartender.
Before he can answer you, you slam your data pad on the table and lean over towards him, just enough for your snout to touch.
:ZtoltBC: Oh, t-that’s a g-great idea, Tristan. Um… can you set up your d-data pad to record me then?
:TristanBC: Right… um… how the fuck do you record shit?
:ZtoltBC: You tell that scumsucker to do it?
:TristanBC: …how do I set it to respond to voice commands?
:ZtoltBC: Err… you tell that scumsucker to do it?
>Have Ztolt search for a picture of the drink he’s wanting, then have him send the picture over to your data pad. That way you can show the bartender the picture of what drink Ztolt wants!
:ZtoltBC: …or I can just send you a text message with the name and you can show that?
:TristanBC: That might work.

:TristanBC: I’ll be right back! With drinks!
:ZtoltBC: Sweet.
>>
No. 977286 ID: 2c5282
File 160116809149.png - (71.95KB , 700x550 , 40.png )
977286

Making your way to the bar, you order a glass of their finest earth whisky from the robotic bartender. Of course, they only had one kind which you’ve never heard of before (though you’re not a whisky guy in the first place, so that doesn’t mean much). You also show them the text message and they give you a weird looking drink which you can only assume is the right one.
>You could also ask if there are stools more suited for Raolmes.
There are several pillow piles around for those that don’t use the chairs, but those are apparently only outside the smoking section. Getting the smell of smoke out of them is apparently a freaking shore. The bartender also notes that they usually don’t get a lot of Raolme customers, as some of the music here can be a bit unpleasant for them.
>It sounds like scotch, but weirder.
It looks kind of like a weird green, cyan looking scotch… and smell kind of the same…

Sitting down across from the waiting blind lizard, you put the earth whisky in front of him while keeping his unpronounceable drink in your other hand.

:ZtoltBC: Oh, this looks interesting…
:TristanBC: Well, cheers mate! Bottoms up?
:ZtoltBC: Take it easy or you’ll get lost in the eternal dark, cutie. Just sip it.

You take a swing from the- OH FUCK IT BURNS WHY IS THIS PAIN!?

:ZtoltBC: Hey, this is kind of ta-
:TristanBC: *Cough*Hark* Bluh! *Cough*
:ZtoltBC: You’re supposed to savor it, mate. Not drink it.
:TristanBC: *Huff* This is some strong shit, Ztolt…
:ZtoltBC: It’s not that bad, Tristan. Though I have to say, I love the scum you bought me. It’s like the sweet nectar from the river springs.
:TristanBC: Ugh… glad you like it, at least…
:ZtoltBC: But yours wasn’t to your taste?
:TristanBC: No… I… I’ll try to… um… savor it… whatever that fucking means…

Looking over at the scene, you can see them lowering some weird looking instrument down into the water tank.

:ZtoltBC: So… are they going to play any music in this place?
:TristanBC: I think they are getting ready down there. Sometimes, it can take a bloody while before they can get some wankers ready to play.
:ZtoltBC: Ah, I see…
:TristanBC: So…
:ZtoltBC: Well…


>>
No. 977287 ID: b1b4f3

>>977286
>savor it
Maybe just take a tiny sip and let it sit in your mouth a bit? Then give it back, since you're only supposed to be tasting eachothers' drinks and that one is way too strong for you.
>so...
Ask if he can tell what instrument it is down there. Describe it for him if it's too far away.
Maybe talk about the instruments in your band, ask what kind of traditional instruments Raolmes have.
>>
No. 977288 ID: 7c00d9

Well, whiskey is a success. Take it easy with the drinks tho.
Now, it seems we have a problem with the conversation. We could go back to the races topic or find a new one. Any ideas?
>>
No. 977289 ID: a38353

drink it slowly.

and ask if there's anything in particular he wants to do at the festival when we get around to that.
>>
No. 977318 ID: a9af05

>>977286
Take a small sip and swish it around in your mouth a little.

Talk about music.
>>
No. 977323 ID: 6e6f32

Pull the chair around and sit real close next to him.

I've never really savored my drinks before...
Maybe you could give me a hands on demonstration.
>>
No. 977325 ID: 9f00f4

>>977323
Again, slow down with the innuendo. At least for now. Maybe after the various substances take effect, you can get a bit more overt?
>>
No. 977375 ID: 2c5282
File 160124970430.png - (33.38KB , 700x550 , 41.png )
977375

>Pull the chair around and sit real close next to him.
You pull your chair around the table and sit next to him, though not close enough to actually get in his way.
:ZtoltBC: Hmm? What are you doing?
:TristanBC: Getting bloody closer to you, mate, of course. Thought there was too much table between us, especially with your arms being so far down compare to my own, making it awkward to have a proper toast, eh? ThatandIreallywanttofuckingseeyoubendlikeyoudidatthecafe… *cough*
:ZtoltBC: Mmm, yes, that is true… it would be hard to have a proper toast over this table, especially with this shitty chair of mine. Thought I have to disappoint, as it’s so shitty that I won’t really be able to move properly on it, forcing me to just sit down like a normal alien.
:TristanBC: Well, fuck… but at least we can have a bloody toast! Cheers, mate!
:ZtoltBC: Darkness’s embrace, Tristan.

The glasses gives of a low click as they connect.

>Well, whiskey is a success.
:ZtoltBC: It was! Is! I have to order more of this shit! Later! I mean later and not right now. Don’t want to get to wiggly on the tail!
>Take a small sip and swish it around in your mouth a little.
While it doesn’t burn your throat as much, the strong taste is still rather overwhelming. And there’s this taste of… lemons?
:ZtoltBC: You don’t like it?
:TristanBC: Ugh… I’m not one for strong drinks…
:ZtoltBC: Heh… well, how about we switch them? This... whatever you called it was a bit more tame.
:TristanBC: I’m not much for whisky either, but sure. Here…
:ZtoltBC: Thank you. Well then, Cheers?
:TristanBC: Let the dark embrace you?
:ZtoltBC: Darkness’s embrace, mate.
:TristanBC: Sure, that.

*Clink!*

>We could go back to the races topic or find a new one. Any ideas?
:ZtoltBC: Hrrm? I’m not sure… as fun as it is to talk biology, maybe that can wait?
>Talk about music.
:ZtoltBC: Oh, yes, music. That reminds me, I really need to listen to that sweet ass album you gave me. I’m curious how you guys sound and not just because you’re aliens.
:TristanBC: Heh, I’m sure we can take some time later tonight to listen to it. But… what was it you called it… the one you listened to? Classical river style? What is that?
:ZtoltBC: Well, it’s music based on the old ways, thus “classical”… and river style means it’s recorded underwater, which makes it quite a bit different from the usual fare.
:TristanBC: They play it in the fucking water? Really?
:ZtoltBC: Honestly, a lot of our instruments use the water currents in the river to function properly… or at least, the non-electrical ones do.
:TristanBC: That’s… interesting. I have to take the time to listen to some of that shit.
:ZtoltBC: Just swing by my place sometime. That shit is blaring in there 30 / 10.
:TristanBC: 30… oh, you mean like 24/7. Right! Wait, I thought you guys would want things to be quiet, you know… what with navigating with your freaking hearing and stuff.
:ZtoltBC: Quite the opposite, actually. Having a constant source of sound that bounce around the rooms make it easier to know where you are, and some sweet fucking music is better than some shitty clicking sound.
:TristanBC: Huh… that’s neat…
:ZtoltBC: So anyway, what kind of instrument do you play?
:TristanBC: Oh! Why, a keytar! It’s like keyboard but also a guitar? You know… like a piano that you have on your chest?
:ZtoltBC: …the only part I caught of that was chest piano, which I’m pretty sure wouldn’t work. And the rest of your band?
:TristanBC: We got an electric guitar, a bass and drums.
:ZtoltBC: Bass and drums I understand, but what is that electrical thing?
:TristanBC: It’s a stringed instrument with a long neck that you play on.
:ZtoltBC: So, kind of like a bass then? Interesting… I really need to listen to you guys sometime, it sounds kind of sweet.
>Ask if he can tell what instrument it is down there. Describe it for him if it's too far away.
:ZtoltBC: I can hear the water tank and that there is water in it, but not what’s inside it. Probably wouldn’t even if I got close to it.
:TristanBC: Well, there’s a… tube… of some sort and… um… it’s… goes in a circle?
:ZtoltBC: …so something you blow in?
:TristanBC: I can’t see anything to blow, no… nor how you’re supposed to make different sounds with it?
:ZtoltBC: Okay, shit, I don’t think I can tell you what that is. I’m going to guess by the water tank that it’s a bunch of Koye’s who’s going up next, but I don’t know anything about their music.
:TristanBC: Koye?
:ZtoltBC: They look like large underwater insects who usually run around in robot suits.
:TristanBC: Aw man, those fuckers aren’t actual robots!? That’s disappointing…
:ZtoltBC: The only disappointing thing is that they aren’t for eating, because they smell delicious, let me tell you…
:TristanBC: Heh, what, are you a cannibal now?
:ZtoltBC: Just saying…

>Ask if there's anything in particular he wants to do at the festival when we get around to that.
:ZtoltBC: I’m not sure. I haven’t been there since I was a little kit, so I don’t know what to really expect and shit. I’m sure there will be a bunch of scumsuckers trying to scam you, sure, but other than that… maybe play a few games… or look on the odd trinkets and baubles they sell…
:TristanBC: Checking out weird stuff does sound like a bloody fun time.
:ZtoltBC: Honestly, I’m just looking forward spending more time with you and getting to know your perspective on the things there.
:TristanBC: Aw, that’s sweet, mate.
:ZtoltBC: How about you? What are you looking forward to the festival?
:TristanBC: I don’t even know what to expect, really.
:ZtoltBC: But what do you hope is there? Or shit, is there anything you’re looking forward to, Tristan?
:TristanBC: Um…

Don’t say anything lewd, don’t say anything lewd…

:ZtoltBC: Oh, and did you want a taste of my cigar as well?
>>
No. 977380 ID: b1b4f3

>cigar
Well, okay. Just remember not to inhale.

>what are you looking forward to
Playing some games, loosening up a bit, getting to the point where you can discuss lewd stuff without it being embarrassing.

Describe some festivals you've attended on Earth.
>>
No. 977391 ID: 2aa5f0

>Oh, and did you want a taste of my cigar as well?
...Sure.

>How about you? What are you looking forward to the festival?
Probably just getting to see how aliens act in their natural...ish environment. I know sounds boring but I am part of the first wave of my people actually leaving their home world to see aliens for the first time. The whole "oh shit it's a fucking alien" feeling hasn't really died down yet for us new kids on the block.
>>
No. 977394 ID: 36784c

>>977375
“Looking forward to seeing if there’s any games there and kinda hoping I can win a prize from one of them.”

>Oh, and did you want a taste of my cigar as well?
Sure, might as well give it a try.
>>
No. 977406 ID: 7c00d9

>cigar?
Sure, why not, let's give it a try.
>what are you looking forward to?
More of this, spending time with you was really fun, so yeah, more of this! And i guess see what kind of trinkets they sell, probably not going to buy anything, but for reference in the future.
>>
No. 977417 ID: a38353

Spending more time with him honestly, it's been great so far.
Also Funnel Cake, really hope the festival has Funnel Cake.
>>
No. 977489 ID: a9af05

>>977375
"Hoping there's some games there so that I can win you a prize."
>>
No. 977490 ID: 2c5282
File 160133748701.png - (44.33KB , 700x550 , 42.png )
977490

:TristanBC: Actually… I’m kind of looking forwards seeing a bunch of aliens act in their natural environment… err… naturalish…?
:ZtoltBC: Heh, you’re making it sound like a nature documentary.
:TristanBC: Hey, mate, I know it might sound boring to you, but for me it’s a fucking adventure! I’m still new to this whole alien thing! Hell, my whole species is new to these alien things! I mean, fuck, I still remember back when I celebrated my 20th birthday and I didn’t even know you guys existed!
:ZtoltBC: Hey, hey, I’m not telling you you’re wrong about being excited. I still remember being a kit and experience alien culture for the first time.
:TristanBC: You didn’t grow up with the stuff?
:ZtoltBC: Home schooled.
:TristanBC: Oh!
:ZtoltBC: And it fucked sucked, so let’s move on.
:TristanBC: If that’s what you want, mate, then sure. Hmm… oh, and I really want to try out any games you guys might have, maybe win some nice shit? I might even win you a prize?
:ZtoltBC: Pff, those things are run by a bunch of scumsuckers who has rigged them to be impossible, so don’t expect to win anything. Though that doesn’t mean we can try losing at them together, eh?
:TristanBC: Bah, then I’ll just buy some shit. Would be kind of cool finding some bloody alien trinket that I can bring home… if anything, it would be neat to just look what they got.
:ZtoltBC: I do think they got some neat stuff, yeah… will probably be overpriced, but still…
:TristanBC: But in all honestly, the thing I’m looking forward to the most is spending more time with you… because it’s been fucking great so far, mate.
:ZtoltBC: Heh… yeah… wait, did you just repeat what I said earlier?
:TristanBC: Maybe?
:ZtoltBC: Hehe, if anything, at least we’re on the same log…
:TristanBC: Oh! And funnel cake!
:ZtoltBC: …funnel cake?
:TristanBC: Really hope the festival has Funnel Cake!
:ZtoltBC: …is that a cake the shape of a funnel or… a cake made with a funnel? Wait, don’t tell me it contains funnels!? You guys don’t eat funnels, do you?
:TristanBC: What, no, that’s no- You know what, fuck it mate, they probably don’t have that shit there anyway. But yeah, I’m looking forward to testing out new snacks, I guess.
:ZtoltBC: Oh! Yeah! Snacks! Snack would be great.

>Sure, why not, let's give the cigar a try.
:ZtoltBC: Just remember to not to inhale it into your lungs, mate. Oh, and I hope the taste will sit well with you.
:TristanBC: I doesn’t smell to bad, so the taste can’t be that much worse… though… it reminds me of something, but I’m too much of a git to figuring out what…
:ZtoltBC: I’m sure you’ll figure it out when you get a taste of it, Tristan. But first, let me show you a little trick I’ve learned…
:TristanBC: A trick?

You watch as he takes a long drag from the cigar, filling his maw with smoke. Is he going to blow some kind of smoke ring or some-
>>
No. 977491 ID: 2c5282
File 160133749249.png - (78.37KB , 700x550 , 43.png )
977491

>>
No. 977493 ID: a38353

WELL, gonna count that as a success then.
>>
No. 977497 ID: d8a7af

Oh boy this escatalted quikly! For good! Don't inhale it or at least try it!
>>
No. 977499 ID: cdabe3

Hell yeah, this is perfect!
>>
No. 977500 ID: 36784c

>>977491
Make sure you open your mouth so you can taste the smoke. Just act like you’re kissing him and don’t breathe!
>>
No. 977536 ID: 894419

Going mouth to mouth like that has got to be intimate in any alien culture, roll with it!
>>
No. 977537 ID: b1b4f3

Don't inhale through your mouth; you can probably still breathe through your nose.
>>
No. 977557 ID: a9af05

>>977491
Don't just sit there, kiss him, you fool!
>>
No. 977619 ID: ce39da

Be cool; this move he's making prolly won't end in disaster if you don't make any sudden movements. Crack your lips open, but try not to pop your jaw open too suddenly.
>>
No. 977703 ID: 2c5282
File 160158913158.png - (47.61KB , 700x550 , 44.png )
977703

>WELL, gonna count that as a success then.
Making a note here, a big, honking success!
>Be cool; this move he's making prolly won't end in disaster if you don't make any sudden movements.
You’re as cool as an arse in December, but it’s clear that he’s expecting something from you, so you can’t just sit there!

>Make sure you open your mouth so you can taste the smoke. Just act like you’re kissing him.
When it comes to kissing, you’re not used to having most of your snout being engulfed, but you try your best to act like it is a kiss. As you part your lips, you feel his tongue press on the lower one, guiding you into opening your mouth slightly more. Then he carefully blows into your maw, filling it with the smoke which… taste kind of… salty? While you knew it wouldn’t taste like a cigarette, you didn’t even consider that it would be this difference, as it doesn’t taste like smoke at all! Instead, it taste like salted… meat? Fish? Something salty... and it’s making you thirsty…
>Don't just sit there, kiss him, you fool!
You’re kissing the fuck out of him! You think! You’re not sure!? Does this count as kissing!?
>Going mouth to mouth like that has got to be intimate in any alien culture, roll with it!
This has to be some kind of kiss like act, you’re sure of it!

>Just remember not to inhale.
Then, after what seems like an eternity, he finally releases your snout from his jaw. The two of you lean towards each other, letting your noses slightly touch before you both open your mouths to let the smoke billow out…


>Hell yeah, this is perfect!
This is beyond fucking prefect! Not only did you kiss, but as soon as you did the light dimmed and the band started playing on scene, making it just so much more special. Though you barely pay any attention to that, as your full concentration is focused solely on the dapper lizard in front of you…

:TristanBC: Holy hell…
:ZtoltBC: …did you like it?
:TristanBC: It was like… what did you say earlier? Sampling the nectar from the top of the river? Nah, mate, this was like stealing nectar from the fucking gods!
:ZtoltBC: Was the cigar really that good?
:TristanBC: Oh, the cigar was fine too, but that wasn’t the shit I was talking about.
:ZtoltBC: Heh… If I knew I was that good of a kisser, I wou-
>>
No. 977706 ID: 2c5282
File 160158917956.png - (101.14KB , 700x550 , 45.png )
977706

:ZtoltBC: *HISS!?*

Suddenly, Ztolt starts spasm and twitch, hissing loudly as his whole neck opens up into one giant mouth while his arms flail wildly, dropping both his cigar as well as his glass of alcohol.
>>
No. 977707 ID: 2c5282
File 160158918634.png - (46.98KB , 700x550 , 46.png )
977707

Then, just as quickly as he started, he just stops. It lasted only for a second or two, but it was enough…

:TristanBC: Ztolt!? Are you alright!?
:ZtoltBC: THE FUCK WAS THAT SOUND!?
:TristanBC: What sound?
:ZtoltBC: Gah!? It coming from the- Fuck, that’s loud… scumsucking music masturbators!
:TristanBC: Music? It’s the music?
:ZtoltBC: Fuck… … …and by the eternal fucking dark, I spilled freaking [TNF!] all over my clothes… ow…

>Hell yeah, this is perfect!
Well… it was perfect… before going completely arse over elbow…
>>
No. 977708 ID: b1b4f3

>>977707
Alright time to leave I guess. Try a napkin to help with his clothes. Or he could just take the jacket off.
>>
No. 977710 ID: 5950e9

>>977707
Well that's a solid cue to get outta here. Offer to grab both your stuff (Like his fallen bowtie) while he heads out, save him having to deal with the noise for any longer than necessary.
On the way out nab any napkins the place may have to help dry him off.
>>
No. 977711 ID: ce39da

Is the music even any louder than how you two have been? It may be the pitch that's the problem, not the volume. Focus on getting him out of there first before you ask him to clarify, of course.
>>
No. 977712 ID: 9f00f4

Yea, definitely grab his and your stuff, grab some extra napkins (and dunk a few of them in some water), and start making your way out, guiding him in case this messes up his inner ear. The point here is to quickly get him away from the source of pain without losing any of your all's stuff; you can help him clean up and compose himself AFTER you all are out of the danger zone!
>>
No. 977713 ID: 9f00f4

If you don't hear something, it might be above your species hearing range. Maybe it was one of those really high pitched, super grating noises? Perhaps some odd resonance? Ask him what it was in more detail, after things calm down.
>>
No. 977714 ID: d8a7af

God damn it music! I really hope that yours doesn't hurt him. I guess is time to leave. Reassure him that is all good, let's go to the fair and have a good time.
>>
No. 977720 ID: a38353

Shit, alright well lets get him out of here real quick.
>>
No. 977726 ID: ba56e6

Well, we planned for this.

Escort him out, then come back to settle the tab once he's away from the music. That way he doesn't have to withstand it.
>>
No. 977739 ID: 36784c

>>977707
Tristan, try not to be distracted by how hot it was seeing Ztolt’s mouth again. Make sure you get him outta there so he isn’t hurting anymore.
>>
No. 977740 ID: cfc80f

Welp. Time to go, looks like. Don't forget to grab his hat before you leave, though.
>>
No. 977755 ID: f8fa51

Yeah, looks like you're not going to be able to come back here, since the music is so distasteful to him. Don't run out like there's a fire or anything, but don't delay, it's time to leave. Don't forget to pay. I guess it's time to go see the festival?
>>
No. 977791 ID: 2c5282
File 160168241009.png - (80.74KB , 700x550 , 47.png )
977791

>Tristan, try not to be distracted by how hot it was seeing Ztolt’s mouth again.
As much as you like freaky alien stuff, you’re way to fucking distressed over Ztolt being in pain for you to focus on anything else!
>God damn it music!
Hey, don’t damn the music; it doesn’t know what it did! Music doesn’t hurt people, those that play it does! …wait, no, that didn’t… never mind…
>Is the music even any louder than how you two have been?
It’s a lot louder, but that’s more because Ztolt freak out was surprisingly quiet. He just hissed before dropping his glass on the rug cowered floor. The music itself is at a decent level, loud enough for the whole bar to hear it but not loud enough to drown out anyone’s talking.
>If you don't hear something, it might be above your species hearing range.
The music does sound rather off… as if there’s something missing… so it might be that you just can’t hear one of the instruments at all? Fucking hell, mate, these alien and their bloody weird stuff…


>Offer to grab both your stuff (Like his fallen bowtie) while he heads out, save him having to deal with the noise for any longer than necessary.
:ZtoltBC: Y-yeah, just… grab everything you can. Throw away the cigar though, you don’t smoke stuff that’s been on the floor.
:TristanBC: Got it mate, no problem.
:ZtoltBC: Thank you…
>Escort him out, then come back to settle the tab once he's away from the music.
:ZtoltBC: Don’t worry, I’ve already paid for the d-drinks. Let’s just leave.
:TristanBC: Oh, sweet. That makes things a lot bloody easier, eh?

>Don't forget to grab his hat before you leave, though.
Hat of +5 dabberness acquired!

Luckily, the smoking section is located in a secluded corner, on upper part of the bar as far away from the main stage and tables as possible, ensuring that the few patrons that are currently here didn’t notice a thing. Unluckily, this also means you’re as far away from the exit as possible as well, though you do manage to get out eventually. Well out on the street the two of sit down on the curb outside, to get a better look on the bloody damage.

:ReedBC: Oh? You guys are alrea- whoa, what happened to you, dude?
:TristanBC: My Raolme friend here wasn’t able to handle the music, that’s all.
:ReedBC: Well, darn, that sounds rough, buddy… wait, did you say Raolme? That’s a Raolme? Oh, fiddlesticks, I was supposed to warn you, bro, about the music, man. Sorry about that.
:ZtoltBC: Ugh, while I would have preferred the warning sooner, I do accept your apology, my good man.
:ReedBC: Oh, and I would go and get a towel, bro, but I’m kind of on the clock so… um… speaking of work, I need to get back to it so… good luck, dude?
:TristanBC: Sure, mate… sure…

>Try a napkin to help with his clothes.
:ZtoltBC: That’s not going to help. My clothes are already drenched in the stuff!
:TristanBC: I will soak up the worst of it, right?
:ZtoltBC: Eh… fuck it, probably… maybe? Just hand me a few…
>Or he could just take the jacket off.
:ZtoltBC: That won’t really help. I’m drenched in the stuff, all the way to my scales… even my pants got a bunch of scum on it…
:TristanBC: (Must resist… urge… to ask him to remove his pants…)

>Maybe it was one of those really high pitched, super grating noises? Perhaps some odd resonance? Ask him what it was in more detail, after things calm down.
:ZtoltBC: Ugh, yes, that’s what it was. It’s like… being poked by a needle? A really dull needle? Err… well, more like… quick pain that’s not actually dangerous?
:TristanBC: Like stubbing your toe on a table?
:ZtoltBC: …you guys do that? It’s like if some scum sucker would poke you hard with as stick. It hurts, sure, but it’s more annoying than anything. My outburst in there was more because of the surprise than anything. Really took my off guard, as I was lost in the eternal dark with you, Tris…
:TristanBC: Aw… same, mate…
>Yeah, looks like you're not going to be able to come back here, since the music is so distasteful to him.
:ZtoltBC: If I’m coming back, I’m making sure I can handle the music that will be playing.

>Let's go to the fair and have a good time.
:ZtoltBC: No, not like this. I got alcohol all over me… and I smell like a scumsucker after a long night of knockout juice.
:TristanBC: I’m sure we can-
:ZtoltBC: I need to change… and head back home and… you know what, Tristan, maybe it’s for the best if we call it quits?
:TristanBC: Huh? What? No, we’ve barely started! It’s barely after lunch!
:ZtoltBC: And I’m soaked in booze… maybe try again next week?

No way! You can’t end the date on this crap!
>>
No. 977793 ID: b1b4f3

>>977791
Hold on, earlier he mentioned the option of going to a public bath or spa. He can have his clothes cleaned while relaxing there and washing off his scales.
>>
No. 977794 ID: a38353

The spa thing sounds like a good idea actually, let's bring it up atleast.
>>
No. 977797 ID: f56a2b

"Unwinding, decompressing, and getting squeaky clean are what spas are for, mate. Lets hit one. Promise you'll feel better."
>>
No. 977798 ID: 36784c

>>977791
>Hat of +5 dabberness acquired!
Uh oh! Somehow Ztolt’s Dapper Hat got turned into a Dabber Hat! You’ve gotta find a way to fix it, otherwise he’ll start dabbing when he puts it back on!

>And I’m soaked in booze…maybe try again next week?
>No way! You can’t end the date on this crap!
Ask if he’d like to go to that spa he mentioned earlier? That’ll help him get cleaned up!

…wait, what about his clothes? Do spas also clean your clothes while you’re there?
>>
No. 977799 ID: ba659f

The spa is a great idea! And perhaps we can do something about his clothes in there too, or find a place to clean them.
>>
No. 977800 ID: 894419

Spa idea isn't bad, lets at least suggest that. I suppose though if its really spoiled the night for him well, we can swap numbers and try again soon. Apologize to poor Zotl for not checking the sound thing ahead of time.
>>
No. 977822 ID: ba56e6

>>977793
Totally.

Getting clean and keeping the date going all at once.
>>
No. 977828 ID: a9af05

Is it possible to go shopping before hitting the spa? We could buy him some clean clothes and a bag to carry his dirty clothes in, then we can head to the spa to get cleaned up.
>>
No. 977909 ID: 2c5282
File 160184662964.png - (105.28KB , 700x550 , 48.png )
977909

>Uh oh! Somehow Ztolt’s Dapper Hat got turned into a Dabber Hat!
You blame the drink… and your cute boyfr- your cute mate here being in fucking pain… also, b is just a p that got shitfaced and fell over anyway…

>Apologize to poor Ztolt for not checking the sound thing ahead of time.
:ZtoltBC: No, no, you wouldn’t have known. You’re new here… and we just met, didn’t we? No, I’m the one who would have checked the music before even coming here. Or at least considered that a pub with alien music might just be shit on my ears, but being the freaking scumsucker I am, I was more focused on making sure you had a good time instead of taking care of myself… so… I apologize, Tris, that I put you in that situation in the first place.
:TristanBC: Ztolt, there’s no need to apologize, mate. I, too, was to fucking worked up about showing you the place I play at that I didn’t… consider that things might go to shit. So… we’re both scumsuckers, eh?
:ZtoltBC: Heh… yeah, we’re both kind of scumsuckers aren’t we?
:TristanBC: So no sweat, yeah?
:ZtoltBC: No sweat.
>Hold on, earlier he mentioned the option of going to a public bath or spa.
:ZtoltBC: Hmm? Oh, I did mention that… though I’ve never actually… well, not to a public bath at least. But I’m drenched in stinking river nectar and is way to winded up about to really… you know…
:TristanBC: Unwinding, decompressing, and getting squeaky clean are what spas are for, mate. Let’s hit one. Promise you'll feel better.
:ZtoltBC: Hmm... maybe you’re right. Indeed, maybe you are…


>He can have his clothes cleaned while relaxing there and washing off his scales.
:ZtoltBC: I guess we would have changed to swimming clothes, leaving these ones free to be left at the cleaners. Though, I’m not sure they’ll have the time to get it clean before dinner tonight and I don’t have another suit to wear…
:TristanBC: Hey, no sweat mate, no need to dress up for my sake, you hear?
:ZtoltBC: While I do want to look my very best for you, my fine eyed friend, the restaurant I was considering taking you to have a strict dress code. Well, it’s technically a smell and sound code, but I don’t really have any other clothes that bounce sound in a classy way.
:TristanBC: …bounce…?
:ZtoltBC: Of course, I’m not sure how they will react to you, but I’m sure if you wear a suit or whatever your species consider classy clothing, you’ll be fine…
:TristanBC: Well… (You definitely don’t own a suit…)
:ZtoltBC: But first we’ll need to get some bathing clothes… which means visiting home anyway… ugh…
:TristanBC: (Wait, did you even bring any swimming trunks with you from earth?)
>Is it possible to go shopping before hitting the spa?
:ZtoltBC: I’m not going shopping like this, mate. I smell like a bum who’s had too much knockout juice.

Your attention is suddenly drawn upwards, where gliding in from the sky, a sweet looking space ship parts the clouds and land in front of you with barely a whisper.

:ZtoltBC: Oh, and speaking of lazy bums, our ride is here.
:TristanBC: Our ride? Wait, this is your spaceship!?
:ZtoltBC: Airship, but indeed it is. I must apologize that it isn’t the... eh... the new, hot shit, but a rather old model. It will still break the river, don’t you worry, but this hunk of junk is a bit… shall we say, classical?
:ReedBC: Whoa, nice ride, dude…
:TristanBC: Err… sure…
:ZtoltBC: Also, ignore the humming sound… and groaning…

…what humming sound? That thing is as quiet as an original idea in a major corporation!
>>
No. 977910 ID: b1b4f3

>>977909
May as well bring up that you don't own a suit, and you need to go get something appropriate for swimwear, unless the spa has rental services.
>>
No. 977911 ID: f8fa51

Yeah, definitely mention that you don't own a suit, whether or not you think you might be able to buy one before tonight. Buying things on the day is the kind of thing that carries risk (especially since you don't really know what the prices will be), and he needs to know there's a chance you might not be able to get one.

Other than that, tell him you like his ride. Take a look to see whether he has a driver or if the vehicle is self-driving. You'll probably want to wait for him to get in so you can see if he gets in the front or back, then get in next to him; there's no way to know what the etiquette is here for front vs. back seating, but sitting next to your date is probably a safe bet.
>>
No. 977912 ID: ba659f

>>977910
This.
Also, you don't hear any sounds of any sort, so you guess it is only heardable to him.
Also, you couldn't tell apart a new model from an old one, and every single one would look great to you because you dont have these things back home.
>>
No. 977916 ID: 8ac9ea

>>977909
wait is the driver (if there is one and it's not like, fully automated or some shit) also a raolme? that front 'window?' is either tinted to maximum reflectivity or completely opaque, it's the same colour and shade as the hood.

anyhoo, let him know the humming and groaning aren't likely to be an issue for you.
>>
No. 977929 ID: 36784c

>>977909
Tell Ztolt that you don’t have a fancy suit for the restaurant. And you don’t have any swimming clothes for the spa.

>I must apologize that it isn’t the...eh...the new, hot shit, but a rather old model. It will still break the river, don’t you worry, but this hunk of junk is a bit…shall we say, classical?
Tell him you never would’ve been able to tell because you don’t have this kind of technology back home.

>Also, ignore the humming sound…and groaning…
You can’t hear any of those sounds he’s talking about.
>>
No. 977974 ID: a9af05

>>977909
Ztolt is apparently very rich here!

People might start accusing you of only dating Ztolt to get at his money. So if the question ever comes up, make sure you tell them that you're dating Ztolt because you like him, not because of his money.
>>
No. 977977 ID: b1b4f3

I just realized... once you're in the car and nobody can overhear your conversation, it'll be the perfect opportunity to ask him if he's part of an organized crime syndicate.
The reason you're asking is that you're seeing some parallels to things that happened on Earth, with a group called the Mafia.
>>
No. 977979 ID: ba56e6

>>977977
Also mention that the lady Raolme that bothered you before was talking in a mafioso accent despite talking through a translator.

Is she doing that on purpose to mess with you?
>>
No. 977983 ID: 6e6f32

You'll get no judgement from me!
Where I'm from, airships still use the air itself to lift themselves. They roar!
>>
No. 978029 ID: f9bc61

>>977909
Does the car have a driver or is it automated? If there's no one else in it, then now's a good chance to talk about sensitive things that we don't want anyone to overhear.

Does Ztolt's family know he's bisexual? That green woman who was bothering us earlier got surprised and ran off when she found out Tristan was a guy. She might have assumed Ztolt was on a date because we look like a girl and thought she made a mistake when we corrected her. If that's the case, then we'll have an easier time hiding our relationship from them. We just need a believable reason to keep meeting each other.

Also, yeah, we should mention that we'll need a new swimsuit. I kinda want to pick out something revealing and frilly just because Tristan would look nice in it, but that would be coming on a bit too strong for Ztolt. Let's save it for when we get to know each other better.
>>
No. 978031 ID: f3f534

>>977977
>it'll be the perfect opportunity to ask him if he's part of an organized crime syndicate.
Just because Ztolt is rich, that doesn't mean you have to automatically assume he's part of some organized crime syndicate! Not all rich people are part of the mafia!

And do you remember how earlier Tristan was so afraid of fucking up this date like he always does because he's a fuckup? (His words, not mine.) Well asking Ztolt if he's part of an organized crime syndicate is a good way to fuck up the date!

I think Tristan should not ask Ztolt if he's part of an organized crime syndicate!
>>
No. 978032 ID: 2c5282
File 160202602324.png - (74.26KB , 700x550 , 49.png )
978032

>You'll get no judgment from me!
:ZtoltBC: So you think it’s just… meh? Isn’t that a judgment as well?
:TristanBC: Okay, you’ll get a bloody good judgment from me then, because that thing is fucking sweet.
:ZtoltBC: Heh… you really are an alien…
>You don't hear any sounds of any sort, so you guess it is only heardable to him.
:ZtoltBC: You can’t? Well, forget I mentioned any of that scum then. It’s as quiet as a [TNF!] gliding between the reeds!
>Where I'm from, airships still use the air itself to lift themselves. They roar!
:ZtoltBC: Really? But how do you use them without getting completely lost in the endless dark?
:TristanBC: It isn’t that bad while you’re inside it, so you usually don’t start the engines before everyone onboard. But if you have to on the outside, you can always just wear a some fucking ear protection.
:ZtoltBC: Ah, yes, you would have an easier time temporarily deafening yourself… of course…
>tell him you like his ride.
:ZtoltBC: You did mention it was sweet…
:TristanBC: Super fucking sweet, mate.
:ZtoltBC: Heh, well, if you think this scum filled heap of junk is sweet, then it is sweet.
:TristanBC: Sweetest of fucking sweets!

>Wait is the driver (if there is one and it's not like, fully automated or some shit) also a raolme?
:ZtoltBC: Hmm? Oh, no, this thin is fully automated, though it does have some manual scannersync controls if you want to drive it yourself…
:TristanBC: Err… I don’t have a license for… airships?
:ZtoltBC: And neither do I, so it is a good thing it’s automated or we would be stuck here like a pair of masturbators!
>That front 'window' is either tinted to maximum reflectivity or completely opaque, it's the same colour and shade as the hood.
:ZtoltBC: Windows? Why w- oh, right, you can’t see otherwise. No, this thing doesn’t have any windows at all.
:TristanBC: That’s… actually not surprising if it was made for you guys, mate, seeing that you’re bloody blind and all…
:ZtoltBC: You can open it up to let in smell and sound, but at the speed these things go… well… it’s not really worth it.
>You'll probably want to wait for him to get in so you can see if he gets in the front or back, then get in next to him; there's no way to know what the etiquette is here for front vs. back seating, but sitting next to your date is probably a safe bet.
A large door opens on the side of the… car? Airship? Fucking rad arse vehicle? A large door open on the side of the car and Ztolt enters with you following quickly behind. You were expecting seats, but instead you’re greeted with a sizable pile of pillows and soft carpet in the middle of the car, surrounded by a small “walkway” around it. Though you do quickly notice that the inside is far more… “well used” than the outside.

:ZtoltBC: Here, take a seat.
:TristanBC: Err… seatbelts?
:ZtoltBC: Seat what now? OH! Seats! I must apologize, Tris, but… yeah, seats and us Raolme don’t mix, so… I hope you won’t mind sitting down here with me?
:TristanBC: …sure?
>Ztolt is apparently very rich here!
:ZtoltBC: Heh… well, we used to be… we do own a lot of business but… at the end of the day after all the expenses and family salaries, there’s not a lot left…
:TristanBC: Enough to buy a rad airship at least!
:ZtoltBC: Actually, I inherited it! Kind off! And it’s technically a limousine… or was a freaking limousine…
:TristanBC: Still bloody sweet in the eyes of a git like me, mate.
>People might start accusing you of only dating Ztolt to get at his money.
:ZtoltBC: …did you even know who I was before you contacted me?
:TristanBC: No?
:ZtoltBC: Well then, case fucking closed!
:TristanBC: Still…

>Tell Ztolt that you don’t have a fancy suit for the restaurant.
:ZtoltBC: Heh… don’t worry about it. I’m sure me and my good friend lady Nrrghel would be able to convince them that your attire is the classiest shit they got on earth.
:TristanBC: Nurgel?
:ZtoltBC: She’s the Mrrgh lady that is depicted on the 500 credits note. You know, one of those mushroom scumsuckers. Though, you’re not wearing anything too risqué? No skulls or other symbols?
:TristanBC: It’s just a black leather jacket and pants, so… no?
:ZtoltBC: Then I’m sure it will be fine.
>you need to go get something appropriate for swimwear.
:ZtoltBC: Um… that might be a bigger problem.
:TristanBC: So I guess we’ll need to go shopping after all!
:ZtoltBC: …and where would they sell swimwear for a two legged, tall creature? That’s not exactly something that’s very common, at least not one that would have the same freaking size as you.
:TristanBC: …then… um… where do you find a pair of swimming trunks from earth on an alien colony?
>unless the spa has rental services.
:ZtoltBC: No. And even if they did, probably not for your species, no.
:TristanBC: Rats.
>I kinda want to pick out something revealing and frilly just because Tristan would look nice in it, but that would be coming on a bit too strong for Ztolt.
Eh… you usually just go with swimming trunks, as they fit the best. As fun as it would be to rock something revealing, you rather have something that actually feel nice to wear and shit instead.

>I just realized... once you're in the car and nobody can overhear your conversation, it'll be the perfect opportunity to ask him if he's part of an organized crime syndicate.
:ZtoltBC: I’m part of what? Really, Tris? Fucking really?
:TristanBC: I mean… I get these vibes, mate…
:ZtoltBC: Hah! Really? Crime syndicate? Of course, is trying to get someone to admit that they are in a criminal syndicate on the first day you’ve met them really the greatest idea? Tris, really? If you would actually stumble upon some actual scumsuckers you would probably end up at the end of the river with a cement tail, eh? Hehe.
:TristanBC: Heh… um…
>Also mention that the lady Raolme that bothered you before was talking in a mafioso accent despite talking through a translator. Is she doing that on purpose to mess with you?
:ZtoltBC: What? Really? I mean, I guess some people just want to feel like the classic movies, you know… like the godmother, eh? Heh…
>Does Ztolt's family know he's bisex-
:ZtoltBC: SO A-ABOUT THAT S-SWIMMING WEAR, HMM?
:TristanBC: Huh?
:ZtoltBC: I need to drop by my place to pick up my stuff, but how about you? Do you have a plan on how to get something to bathe in?
:TristanBC: Let me think… meanwhile, I guess you can start flying this thing?
:ZtoltBC: Um… we’re already in the air?
:TristanBC: …wait, really?
:ZtoltBC: We took off as soon as the door closed, when I asked you to take a seat, mate.
:TristanBC: Oh… neat…. I didn’t even notice…
>>
No. 978035 ID: a38353

Why did we bring up organised crime that was a terrible idea.

Suppose if we're gonna be flying around now we can just stop at our place right quick and grab something to swim in.
>>
No. 978036 ID: 9f00f4

Hold on now! If you're still in the metaphorical closet about your sexuality, you've an obligation to let me know what I need to in order to cover for you. So, let's coordinate our story. Am I to be a female of my species? Just a friend? What am I to say if a family member gets curious? I can't cover for you if we don't get our story straight! We wouldn't want this night to turn into even more of a comedy of errors, would we?
>>
No. 978038 ID: b1b4f3

>>978032
What's that error about?
Also the cat's already out of the bag in regards to you being a man, since you told the green Raolme.

>swimming trunks
Well you're only looking to cover a specific part of you. You can probably find something with a close fit, or is at least stretchy enough to pass as a close fit.
>>
No. 978039 ID: b79cb3

>>978036
Good thinking.
>>
No. 978066 ID: f3f534

>>978032
You're lucky he took that crime syndicate thing as a joke and didn't get offended by it! You almost fucked up your date like an idiot!

>Swimming clothes
You can go to your home and get a pair of shorts that you don't mind getting wet.
>>
No. 978080 ID: 36784c

>>978032
Ask if that error message is something we should be concerned about?

>swimwear
If there’s a race of aliens here that’s close to your build, we could buy swimwear for that race and you can wear that.

Hell, if the tail opening isn’t too big, you could probably wear child sized Raolme swimwear.
>>
No. 978087 ID: f9bc61

>>978032
Are there any clothing stores on the way to our destination? We could browse their selection online to see if they have any swimwear available. Even if they don't have anything for our species, we'll probably find an adequate substitute if we look hard enough.

How far away is your apartment from where we are now, and did you unpack all your stuff already? It could be worth it to just drive by there on the way and see if you've still got your swimsuits.

>>978036
Let's not be too pushy about the issues with him and his family. It's clearly a sensitive subject for him and he doesn't want to talk about it right now. We shouldn't press on it... directly.

If anyone asks about how we know each other, what should we tell them? Will we need to keep our relationship a secret? Does he want it to be a secret? If we need a cover story, we could say that we want to adapt our music to a Raolme audience and we're interested in seeing what he thinks of it. Does that sound good?
>>
No. 978116 ID: ba56e6

Could see if one of your crewmates has something you could borrow. They're both a little wider than you, but trunks are usually elastic.
>>
No. 978142 ID: 2c5282
File 160219545398.png - (79.83KB , 700x550 , 50.png )
978142

>Why did we bring up organized crime that was a terrible idea.
Because you’re a complete fuck up and your mouth moves faster than the part of your brain that screams at you to stop?
>Let's not be too pushy about the issues with him and his family. It's clearly a sensitive subject for him and he doesn't want to talk about it right now. We shouldn't press on it... directly.
This might require tact… wish you sorely lack… but let’s not bring up the metaphorical closet at least for now.


>Ask if that error message is something we should be concerned about?
:ZtoltBC: Huh? Oh, that? That’s just the minibar. It’s hasn’t worked since before I got this scumsucker… mostly because the company that made the parts for it went under.
:TristanBC: Aw, so no cold drinks then…
>Are there any clothing stores on the way to our destination?
:ZtoltBC: Tris, we’re fucking flying. It takes less than 5 minutes to go from one side of this scum filled city to the other. Everything might as well be on the way.
>If there’s a race of aliens here that’s close to your build, we could buy swimwear for that race and you can wear that.
:ZtoltBC: Hmm… well… there is the Mrrgh I guess? They do have similar form like you do, which is why I thought you were one when we first met. Though they are a bit more bottom heavy… and they lack a tail…
>Hell, if the tail opening isn’t too big, you could probably wear child sized Raolme swimwear.
:ZtoltBC: Heh, while it would be funny to see you try, our tails are about as big as our waist, which means they probably wouldn’t fit you at all.

>How far away is your apartment from where we are now?
:ZtoltBC: Tris, once again, flying. Everything is close when you’re flying.
>You can go to your home and get a pair of shorts that you don't mind getting wet.
…but did you even pack shorts? You usually just wear pants all year round and you didn’t have a lot of baggage space after brining all your band stuff… not to mention that you don’t really have a lot of clothes to begin with.
>Could see if one of your crewmates has something you could borrow.
:MelBC: [Hello? This is Mel?]
:TristanBC: [Mel! Mate! This is Tristan, you roomie! The sweet looking albino!]
:MelBC: [I know who you are Tristan.]
:TristanBC: [Of course you do, mate! But hey, I need a favor! I’ll owe you one, but you fucking know that I don’t cop out on that shit!]
:MelBC: [I… err… don’t think you’ve ever owed me a favor before so… no, I don’t know?]
:TristanBC: [Then let me prove it! I need nice fucking duds, swimming duds to be exact! You don’t happen to have some trunks or some shit, mate?]
:MelBC: […I guess you can borrow my swimming trunks if you promise to bring them back… and wash them.]
:TristanBC: [Sweet! Then it’s a deal! I’ll fly by soon and pick ‘em up, my man.]
:MelBC: [Wait, fly?]
:TristanBC: [My perfect date is so bloody amazing that he got his own flying airship, mate. It’s fucking awesome!]
:ZtoltBC: Perfect? *snrk* really?
:MelBC: [What!? Seriously!? Geez, maybe I should call in the favor to ride that thing… but yeah, I’ll hang my trunks in the hall if you want to pick them up… I… um… guess?]
:TristanBC: [You’re fucking lifesaver, mate! Love ya, Mel! Bye.]
:MelBC: [Um… bye?]
>They're both a little wider than you, but trunks are usually elastic.
Wait, is he really wider than you are? He’s shorter, sure, and bit on the chubby side but… hmm… maybe he is? Whatever, they’ll probably fit better than any alien ones anyway.

:ZtoltBC: So you got some swimming gear then?
:TristanBC: Yeah, mate hit me up with a fucking pair, so we’re golden.
:ZtoltBC: Sweet… then I guess the only thing left is… *sigh*… getting my stuff back home…

>If anyone asks about how we know each other, what should we tell them? Will we need to keep our relationship a secret?
:ZtoltBC: What? No, that’s not… we’re both adults, Tris, and we can date whoever we want. Sure, my mother probably won’t approve and my sister will probably heckle the shit out of me, but they can suck scum for all I care. The problem is they tried to force me to date certain people, not that I can’t date anyone I want… though... things might get a bit awkward but… it’s not a secret…
:TristanBC: …then how about when they call me girl? Should I… correct them on that?
:ZtoltBC:
:TristanBC:

:ZtoltBC: Anyway, we’re about to land my family home, so how do you want to do this…
:TristanBC: …wait, what do you mean? Do we have to do it in some special way?
:ZtoltBC: Well, if it was up to me I would just lock you in here inside the floater while I grab my stuff, to make sure that no one will see you, but that’s only someone who’s a complete knot head would do… so… do you want to follow me in to my room or… just stay out here in the parking lot… maybe grab a glass of something tasty in the lounge? Just stay out of the garden, it’s… a bit messy since the gardener was let go.
>>
No. 978143 ID: b1b4f3

>>978142
>where to go
Well following him to his room doesn't seem appropriate for a first date.
Staying out here in the parking lot is probably fine. Lean against the car and mess with your phone.
>>
No. 978144 ID: 9f00f4

No no, that lounge sounds fun! You can get a glass of something tasty, and deflect the questions of nosy family members of his, and figure out a bit about his lifestyle!
>>
No. 978145 ID: b79cb3

>>978144
We can certainly try... NOt to fuck it up, that is!
>>
No. 978146 ID: 36784c

>>978142
>there is the Mrrgh I guess? They do have similar form like you do, which is why I thought you were one when we first met. Though they are a bit more bottom heavy…
Joke with him and say, “Hey, are you trying to say that I’ve got a big butt?”

>What do?
I’m honestly worried that Ztolt’s family will try to do something to us if we don’t stay with him. I say we go with him.

Also he’s mentioned that his species is aquatic, so we should at least ask him if we’re going to get wet if we go in his house with him?
>>
No. 978147 ID: ba56e6

It's a little early to meet the family, but you're down to go with him if he's okay with it. Tell him you got his back.
>>
No. 978176 ID: f28519

We should probably just hang out here with the Aircar for a bit, unless he really wants to show us his room that badly.
>>
No. 978190 ID: a9af05

>>978142
Might as well follow him to his room.
>>
No. 978205 ID: 9f00f4

If you go to the room, you might not want to actually ENTER the room, perhaps stay at the nearest neutral-ish place? A huge home likely has a nearby den or sitting nook or lounge or place with some seats near that kind of living space.
>>
No. 978211 ID: f3f534

>>978142
Let's follow him to his room. It'll be boring if we sit around and wait for him.
>>
No. 978212 ID: 9f00f4

>>978211

Oh, I'm sure SOMEONE will come visit us if we sit in a lounge. It's about figuring out nuances of his family context without being overly snoop-prone, you know?
>>
No. 978409 ID: 2c5282
File 160254682290.png - (117.39KB , 700x550 , 51.png )
978409

>We can certainly try... NOT to fuck it up, that is!
You’re trying your bloody best not to let things go arse over elbow already!
>I’m honestly worried that Ztolt’s family will try to do something to us if we don’t stay with him.
You can’t shake the feeling that they’ll try something no matter where you go, but you guess if you’re with Ztolt he can at least help you out.

>Joke with him and say, “Hey, are you trying to say that I’ve got a big butt?”
:ZtoltBC: Huh? No, I’m saying that those mushroom guys have big butts. Or it might just be their tiny upper bodies that makes their legs look freaking huge…
:TristanBC: Then what are you saying about my butt?
:ZtoltBC: Hmm… that it sound firm, soft and cute?
:TristanBC: Fuck yeah!
>He’s mentioned that his species is aquatic, so we should at least ask him if we’re going to get wet if we go in his house with him?
:ZtoltBC: Not unless you jump into the pool, no. Also, we’re not aquatic? Sure, we love floating around on water like the scum suckers we are, but we live on land.
>It's a little early to meet the family…
:ZtoltBC: I agree! Therefore, let’s keep you away from my family!

>Might as well follow him to his room.
:ZtoltBC: Ugh, I’d hope you wouldn’t say that… but I guess it might be easier to get these scumsuckers off our backs if we’re both present. Very well, let’s head to my room...
>Tell him you got his back.
:ZtoltBC: It’s not my back I’m worried about… speaking off, before we head inside…

Ztolt scots closer to you and rubs his head against your chest.

:TristanBC: Huh? What was that?
:ZtoltBC: Nothing. Just forget about it. Let’s head inside, alright?

Leaving the Airship, you find yourself in a large, indoors garage where four other similar airships are already parked, with empty space for at least five more as well. After a short trip in an elevator, you emerge into a grand hall of gold and purple. There are statues, paintings, chandeliers and large stained windows everywhere, making this place look like a fucking palace! You’re not given long to marvel though, as Ztolt drags you quickly into a side corridor and rounding a corner, leaving you outside what you can only assume is the door to his room. While the rooms here are massive, the doorways are not, forcing you to bend over if you would want to enter them.

>you go to the room, you might not want to actually ENTER the room, perhaps stay at the nearest neutral-ish place?
:ZtoltBC: I was going to ask you to stay out here, seeing that I’m going to get out of these clothes and into something a bit more comfortable.
:TristanBC: You know, when you put it like that…
:ZtoltBC: …I didn’t mean it… eh, fuck it. I’m going in a bathrobe anyway. No point to bring any other clothes if I’m going to change back to these later anyway, after they’ve been cleaned of this shit, of course.
:TristanBC: I guess we can drive right up to the spa, huh…
:ZtoltBC: I’ll be right back, just sit here for a moment and wait, alright?

Looking around, you spot several cushions on the floor near the wall, which you assume is where guests are supposed to rest their legs, and while he did ask you to sit down, you rather not sit on the floor right now. Instead, you take a look around, taking in the sight properly for the first time. While there are awesome statues and splendid tapestry, you finally notice all the cracks in the perfect bloody façade. Literally cracks in some cases. Some of the windows are clearly in need of repairs while the tapestry and statues are worn and torn… not to mention the dust that’s covering most things. Even then, this is far beyond any kind of wealth you’ve ever had… or even dreamed off! Mabye Ztolt is just… way out of your league?
>>
No. 978410 ID: 2c5282
File 160254682966.png - (105.59KB , 700x550 , 52.png )
978410

:ZaliaBC: Ah, what exquisite smell. I just couldn’t help myself from, mmm, taking a closer sniff…
:TristanBC: The fuck?

Then there is suddenly another Raolme next to you, one that is clad jewelry and expensive looking clothes. You believe this one is female… and an older one at that, but other than that…

:ZaliaBC: Hmhm, don’t act so surprised, dear! Oh, but I do apologize if I gave you a little fright, it wasn’t my intent.
:TristanBC: It’s… err… fine? I guess? Shit…
:ZaliaBC: Glad to hear it, dear, Hmhm… and you must be little Ztolly’s new friend, correct? I can see why he likes you, with that language of yours.
:TristanBC: Wait, how do you know I’m with Ztolt?
:ZaliaBC: Why, because his smell is all over you, clearly marking you as his and his alone, hmhm. It almost as if he’s scared that little old me might steal you away!
:TristanBC: Y-you’re going to… what?
:ZaliaBC: Now, now, little Tristan, no need to fret, I do not bite… hmhm… much. While you might just be a cute little boy ripe for the picking, I’m not one to steal others conquests. It’s just so rude, don’t you agree?
:TristanBC: …yes?
:ZaliaBC: Though I am surprised that he would go after a boy like yourself… hmhm… interesting. Now, could you be a dear and light this? Hmhm, I know you have fire, as I can smell the smoke on you… and little Ztolly never carry any himself.

She holds up one of those classy, long cigarette holders, though this one has a cigar on the end of it. Now, why can’t you shake the feeling you’ve seen her somewhere before?

:ZaliaBC: Oh! And I’ve heard that your kind gives just the most delightful head scratches, Mr. Dowe! It wouldn’t be to bold to ask for a sample while we converse, would it? Hmhm…
>>
No. 978411 ID: 4854ef

Madame Zaliasquenska tatil Xai Lentazin, chu tertal o Ankh, High seat of Etrall, chu Matriarch de zartel o Xaito, first of her name.

She was on the dating site as well, you misremembering goof.
>>
No. 978413 ID: a38353

She's the other Raolme we matched with on the dating site, guess they were related after all.

Well, no harm in lighting her cigar for her i suppose.
>>
No. 978414 ID: b1b4f3

>>978409
>stuff needs repairs, dusty
Hmm, I'm not so sure they're that rich. From the look of things, this is a family that used to be rich but is in decline, and can't afford to properly maintain their property but aren't willing to let go of it either.

>>978410
She knew your name before you introduced yourself. Also, that's Zaliasquenska(though you probably don't remember her whole name), you saw her on the extraspecies dating website. I wonder if she saw you there too and knows your name due to that? Hmm, she realized you were a boy as well...

Give her a light, but express concern about the head scratches; shouldn't those be exclusive to Ztolt? Also, ask her if she was the one who sent that rude green Raolme.
>>
No. 978415 ID: ba56e6

Well, she doesn't seem so bad. Doubt she sent the green goon, she knows you're a boy and the goon didn't.

Give her a light and ask if she's had any luck on the you-know-where.
>>
No. 978416 ID: 333b71

Oh shit you totally forgot! Who would have thought you would find her here. Are they related?
>Got a light?
Sure why not.

>Head scratch
Uh, isn't that a thing that you do only with your partners? If no, then... yes? If it is, then respectfully decline.
>>
No. 978417 ID: bb2f99

>>978409
Man, this place is so run down that your arms fell off.
>>
No. 978418 ID: 36784c

>>978410
>Why, because his smell is all over you, clearly marking you as his and his alone, hmhm. It almost as if he’s scared that little old me might steal you away!
That explains why he rubbed up against you.

>Now, now, little Tristan, no need to fret
>While you might just be a cute little boy ripe for the picking
How did she know your name and gender before you told her?

You know what I think? She may have been on the dating website earlier and it gave her a list of potential matches, just like it did with you. So just like how she ended up on a list for you, you also ended up on a list for her. That’s how she knows your name and how she didn’t accidentally mistake you for a woman.

>Now, could you be a dear and light this?
Might as well give her a light.

>Now, why can’t you shake the feeling you’ve seen her somewhere before?
She was one of the aliens that the dating site had matched you with.

>>978414
>express concern about the head scratches; shouldn't those be exclusive to Ztolt?
My thoughts exactly.
>>
No. 978419 ID: b1b4f3

>>978415
The green one not realizing it is *why* I'm suspicious. Ztolt thought Tristan was a girl too. However, Tristan told the green Raolme that he was a guy as she was leaving.

Somehow Zalia knew right away, though.
>>
No. 978432 ID: f8fa51

Well, I certainly am interested in seeing this version of Zalia. Light, yes, scritches... tempting, but it might not be the best idea. Express that you're not sure how intimate that might be considered, and that you think you'd best not with someone you just met, especially when on a date with someone else.

>>978419

We never gave the green Raolme our name, so she must have at least one other source of intel. Given that source of intel exists, her knowing our gender is no longer at all indicative that she might be working with the green Raolme.
>>
No. 978447 ID: ba56e6

>>978419
Because we matched with her on a dating site.
>>
No. 978457 ID: 9f00f4

Wait a minute. How exactly would she know about the head scritches and their level of delightfulness? Were you and Ztolt under surveillance at the bar?
>>
No. 978466 ID: 2c5282
File 160262866732.png - (108.43KB , 700x550 , 53.png )
978466

>That explains why he rubbed up against you.
Huh… so they are like bloody cats then? Rubbing their head against everything to mark their territories? You guess it could be worse… they could be like dogs…
>Hmm, I'm not so sure they're that rich. From the look of things, this is a family that used to be rich but is in decline, and can't afford to properly maintain their property but aren't willing to let go of it either.
They are still richer than any other person you’ve ever personally know… which makes you way out of your fucking element here. It’s like you don’t belong here... at all… in fact, it’s a very similar feeling from that one time you snuck into that rich kid club back home. You felt like an alien back then too…

>She knew your name before you introduced yourself.
...both your first and last name too. How did she…?
>Hmm, she realized you were a boy as well...
…okay, that’s still plausible that she figured out that on her bloody own.
>She's the other Raolme we matched with on the dating site, guess they were related after all.
…wait, you’re right! She’s that super old lady! What was her name again?
>Madame Zaliasquenska tatil Xai Lentazin, chu tertal o Ankh, High seat of Etrall, chu Matriarch de zartel o Xaito, first of her name.
…how the fuck did you remember that name? That doesn’t even seem… the fuck!?

:TristanBC: Err… you’re Madam Zaliasquenska tatil Xai Lentazin, chu tertal o Ankh, High seat of Etrall, chu Matriarch de zartel o Xaito, first of her name, correct?
:ZaliaBC: … … …hmhm, impressive… not even I get most of those titles correct, yet… are your kind known for their good memory, dear? …or have you rehearsed that, hmm?
:TristanBC: I’m… not sure why I remember that name, actually…
:ZaliaBC: But where are my manners! We haven’t even introduced ourselves properly, have we dear? I am indeed Madam Zalia… but most simply call me Zal.
:TristanBC: Tristan… Tris to friends.
:ZaliaBC: And I see that my reputation precedes me, hmhm… how do you know of me, pray tell?
:TristanBC: From Aliena Affinitas? That bloody xeno dating app? That’s where I found Ztolt as well and shit. You were one of the profiles that were recommended to me.
:ZaliaBC: Oh? Really? Hmhm… yet you choose little Ztolly? Why, boys will be boys, I guess.
:TristanBC: You didn’t knew he used it? Or that I used it for that matter?
:ZaliaBC: Of course I wouldn’t know if he used it, as it wouldn’t show his profile to little old me, dear. As for you, well… I’m sure in your eagerness to be with Ztolt you didn’t give me much time to find you, did you? Hmhm… don’t worry, boys your age are usually a bit… overenthusiastic, no? It’s a good lesson to learn, to take your time and… enjoy yourself, hmhm…

>Give her a light.
:ZaliaBC: Thank you, dear.
>ask if she's had any luck on the you-know-where.
:ZaliaBC: Hmm? Oh, you mean the dating? Why, little Tris, aren’t you a naughty one! A proper lady don’t lick and tell, you know, hmhm…
>Are they related?
:ZaliaBC: You mean me and little Ztolly? Hmhm, why… yes, yes we are.
:TristanBC: Oh, so you’re like his… aunt or some shit then?
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm, if only, little Trist, if only. No, he’s my… oh… how does it go again? He’s my grand grand… grand… grandson? Oh, it is so hard to keep track after a while you know… there simply so many of them… like roots on a tree, they just become more and more the further away you come from the source, hmhm…
:TristanBC: …w-wait, seriously? You’re his… grand grand grandmother!?
:ZaliaBC: A very “serious” indeed.

>How did she know your name and gender before you told her?
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm… why, a retired old lady like myself must have my hobbies, no?
:TristanBC: …your hobbies include knowing who I am?
:ZaliaBC: It includes knowing everything interesting that is going on…and a new, exotic species that is coming to visit is… hmhm… just too much of a delight to ignore.
>Express concern about the head scratches; shouldn't those be exclusive to Ztolt?
:ZaliaBC: Should they?
:TristanBC: …I’m not sure how intimate it might be considered… and it’s kind of weird doing it to someone I just met… not to mention that I’m currently on a date with Ztolt?
:ZaliaBC: …so belly rubs are out of the question as well then? Pity… but maybe it’s for the best to be on the safe side of things, no dear?


>Ask her if she was the one who sent that rude green Raolme.
:ZaliaBC: Oh? Rude green Raolme?
:TristanBC: She started shit when- hey!
:ZaliaBC: *Sniff*Sniff* Hmmm, yes, I do know her… she is part of the family, though on one of the more… low hanging branches. Hmhm, why, I am sure she would be eager to please someone from the main bloodline, no? But no, I did not send any rude green Raolme to do anything to you at that café you were at.
:TristanBC: Huh…
>How exactly would she know about the head scritches and their level of delightfulness? Were you and Ztolt under surveillance at the bar?
:ZaliaBC: I’ve heard rumors about your species marvelous hands, Tristan.
:TristanBC: You also knew we were at a café earlier?
:ZaliaBC: … … …very well. Hmhm, I see that I might have said too much.
:TristanBC: So you were fucking spying!?
:ZaliaBC: I’ve simply been making sure my dear little Ztolly have been safe and sound, dear. Hmhm, and while I do like to gossip, what he does… or who he do, on his free time is not of my concern, unless it is… unwise.
:TristanBC: …so you’re fine that we’re on a date?
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm… I am certain his mother would disapprove, seeing as she wishes to use him to grab power and money, but little old me? Why, I’m delighted that he finally went out and found someone on his own. In fact, it is an experience he needs to… well, experience. Be it that you part on good terms, bad terms or even if this become a long lasting relationship, it is something he need to experience. So yes, I am delighted that he found someone… though I am surprised that he chose a boy… and brought them back here already…
:TristanBC: Well, I’m glad you’re… “delighted”, but I rather not have you look over our shoulders this whole evening.
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm… and that sadly is not something I can agree upon. Dear, you’re either a young, naïve little boy who just happened to land in the lap of a rich Xaito bachelor who is looking for love by pure luck, which is fine as we’ve all been young and naïve at some point, or you’re a fool who believes he can seduce his way into our folds, be it for power, money or influence, but a fool nonetheless.

She takes a long drag from her cigar before continuing.

:ZaliaBC: I do not suffer fools, Tristan… not for very long, at least.
>>
No. 978467 ID: b1b4f3

>>978466
Be honest with her, you had no idea he was rich and you're feeling out of your element. Also you're only here because he spilled his drink and needs a change of clothes, but she might already know that.

I guess you'll have to deal with her keeping an eye on the both of you... since she's here anyway and Ztolt probably won't give you a tour, ask what the statues and stained glass window are about.
>>
No. 978468 ID: 894419

Ma'am forgive me if this is a rude question but is posturing with vague threats a Ralome cultural trait? I just ask because its happening so often at this point its becoming completely played out and unimpressive.
>>
No. 978469 ID: 9f00f4

"Look, ma'am. You seem to be under a major misunderstanding of where I am coming from and what, precisely my circumstances are. I'm not a fool, but what I am is ignorant -- though I do have a pretty good idea of exactly how ignorant I actually am, and am taking steps to act appropriately. Let me, ah, make a soundscape for you to show my situation. To me and my civilization, everyone and everything in this meta-civilization of your all's is absurdly, astoundingly wealthy. We are a civilization which just barely got out of our own planetary orbit, with no longevity medicine or immortality treatments or whatever it is that you use to be able to be a great great however many grandparent. We don't have even deuterium fusion, hell we don't even have useful thorium-cycle nuclear reactors, our heavier than air vertical takeoff aircraft use rotors or ducted fans rather than... whatever it was the vehicle I got to this building used. There are a few people of my species still alive who remember a time before plastic! In fact, before you said otherwise, I wouldn't have been surprised if this household was a typical level of wealth or affluence. For all I know, everything anyone in this civilization wants, including jewelry you are wearing, comes out of some sort of molecular fabricator for a pittance. We were working on 'cultured' gemstones where I came from, after all. I wasn't even presuming the civilization I was in had inter-generational individual accumulation of wealth, and though I expected there to be some sort of currency somewhere, I still have no idea of it's real value. Add to that, everyone is more experienced in using the local data networks, AND that green Raolme intentionally used my cultural preconceptions as a weapon against me, and I don't know the extent to which others are doing that as well, and trust me. I'm just a guy, way out of my depth, who knows it and has decided to just enjoy the ride. I don't care about how much wealth he does or doesn't have; I'm here to experience interesting things with interesting people, I'm not after their money!
>>
No. 978470 ID: ce39da

"Eh, I can be a pretty big fool sometimes, but that has nothing to do with my intentions here. I'm honestly starting to feel out of my element now that it's really starting to hit me how rich Ztolt is. He really undersold himself on that site, not gonna lie - probably not by accident, either."
>>
No. 978473 ID: 6e6f32

Money? Power?
All that makes me more uncomfortable than anything.

I just wanna live my life and play my music. I don't even know what I'd do with a lot of money.

The world of the affluent is just as alien to me here as it was on my home world. I just get this deep sense of unbelonging.
>>
No. 978475 ID: a38353

Honestly, just want to show Ztolt a good time, Saw an adorable Raolme and took the chance. Money and Power weren't even part of the equation.
>>
No. 978479 ID: 333b71

>>978469
TThis is a nice speech, not going to lie. We could absolutely say all this, but i think that 'showing' is a better way of proving our intentions than 'telling'. So you can just incist that nither you or Stolen would appreciate someone spying on you, but you really can't just make her stop if she doesn't want to. She already did and you were completatly ignorant about it. You will have to deal with it.

Or you could just tell her that you are just a pervert that is into very particular kinky shit, and that thing would be aliens.
>>
No. 978524 ID: 9f00f4

>>978479

People aren't fetishes. It's against your core values to objectify people like that.
>>
No. 978530 ID: ba56e6

>>978469
Too many words.

>>978466
Tell her she seems familiar, almost like you met in another life.

But reassure her you don't care about riches. If you did you wouldn't have become a musician.
>>
No. 978531 ID: 83ea8d

>>978524
Ok, fair enough, let me rephrase that: Tris is a pervert and has the hots for aliens.

Would that be better?
>>
No. 978532 ID: 9f00f4

>>978531

Sure, but is even that wise to tell this woman who he doesn't really know? How do we want to come across?
>>
No. 978533 ID: 36784c

>>978466
Be honest with your answer. And above all else, don't be an asshole to her. If anyone has the power to force you away from Ztolt, it's her. So don't piss her off!

>>978469
Too long of a speech.
>>
No. 978534 ID: 83ea8d

>>978532
We could just ignore that fact and say nothing about it. There isn't much we can do, if she just won't stop spying on us, we can't really do much about it but to ignore it. As long as Ztol is having a good time, we shouldn't really care about the rest. We care about him, not his family and possessions.

We can only ask her nicely to stop doing it.
>>
No. 978538 ID: a9af05

>>978466
Don't make any snarky or smartass comments. Just tell the truth on how you didn't know about Ztolt's money until recently.
>>
No. 978546 ID: ba56e6

>>978538
Maybe a little sass. He'd come across as ingenuine if he didn't, she already knows that from watching him.

Could remind her that if you wanted to seduce your way into a rich family, there was a certain other someone you matched with who seems eager for head scratches.

It's too early to tell of Ztolt is 'the one', but he's a sweetie and you have no intention of breaking his heart either way.
>>
No. 978549 ID: a9af05

>>978546
>you have no intention of breaking his heart either way.
I don't think that phrase works in this situation, since Raolme don't have hearts.
>>
No. 978551 ID: 9f00f4

>>978549

Crushing his hopes and dreams? That'd be a non idiomatic way of saying it, right?
>>
No. 978554 ID: a9af05

>>978551
That sounds like it'll work.
>>
No. 978593 ID: f8fa51

>>978549
But it's honest, it'll probably translate, and if it doesn't, you'll simply clear up what it means. It'll sound less rehearsed if you use metaphors in your own language.
>>
No. 978638 ID: 5950e9

>>978466
Whoa, cool your fukken jets there. Look I can get the concern but you're seriously reading way too much into it.
All my info before meeting up basically came from the app.

I didn't go into this expecting love or money, I'm just tryin' to not mess up this date, cause me and Ztolt seem to be hitting it off pretty well.
>>
No. 978703 ID: 2c5282
File 160289722617.png - (70.80KB , 700x550 , 54.png )
978703

>Don't make any snarky or smartass comments.
If you were able to keep your mouth from spewing sass your life would be very different.
>Don't be an asshole to her. If anyone has the power to force you away from Ztolt, it's her. So don't piss her off!
Right, you’ll try to at least keep things from going completely arse over elbow.


>Whoa, cool your fucking jets there. Look I can get the concern but you're seriously reading way too much into it.
:ZaliaBC: Now, now, dear, you seem to misunderstand. I am simply… uncertain of you. Hmhm, you’re so new, that I can still not read your kind properly. For all I know, you can be hiding all kind of things behind that cute exteriors of yours, hmhm…
:TristanBC: I’m not hiding anything! My soul is just as bloody spotless as my pristine white fur, madam.
:ZaliaBC: Tristan Dowe. Disavowed by your parents, fined for several cases of property damage and drunken brawls as well as one arrest for being part of a protest?
:TristanBC: …err… y-you know about… that?
:ZaliaBC: I know a lot of things, dear, hmhm.
>Be honest with her, you had no idea he was rich and you're feeling out of your element.
:TristanBC: Look, ma'am. You seem to be under a fucking huge misunderstanding of where I am coming from and what, precisely my bloody circumstances are. I'm not a fool, but what I am is an ignorant git. We are a civilization which just barely got out of our own planetary orbit, with no longevity medicine or immortality treatments or whatever it is that you use to be able to be a great great however many grandparent.
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm, immortality? A slow decent into insanity, if would be possible. No, dear, I’m still here because I live healthy, have been lucky and most importantly… I don’t have many enemies left, hmhm… but do go on, Tristan, about your circumstances.
:TristanBC: Err… i-in fact, before you said otherwise, I wouldn't have been surprised if this household was a typical level of wealth or affluence for you aliens, mate. For all I know, everything anyone in this civilization wants, including jewelry you are wearing, comes out of some sort of molecular freaking fabricator for a pittance or some shit.
:ZaliaBC: Well, you’re not wrong. Jewels are cheap… the craftsmanship of proper jewelry is not, hmhm…
:TristanBC: I'm just a guy, way out of my depth, who knows it and has decided to just enjoy the ride. I don't care about how much wealth he does or doesn't have; I'm here to experience interesting things with interesting people, I'm not after their money!
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm, if only more people thought like that. It’s a hard lesson to learn… which often comes far too late, trust me…
:TristanBC: Money? Power? All that makes me more uncomfortable than anything.
:ZaliaBC: Good. It should. No sane person should feel comfortable with it, seeing just how dangerous and corrupting they are, hmhm…
:TristanBC: I just wanna live my life and play my music. I don't even know what I'd do with a lot of money.
:ZaliaBC: Oh? You’re a musician? Why, I would love to hear you play sometime, dear. I’m a bit of an amateur singer myself, you know, hmhm…
:TristanBC: I’m sure we can find the bloody time for it later…

>He really undersold himself on that site, not gonna lie - probably not by accident, either.
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm, he is more clever than many of us think, indeed, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he tried to keep it a bit of a secret, so to not attract all the tastless insects with his honey, hmm? I’ve always thought he was taking after little old me, hmhm…
:TristanBC: Honestly, just want to show Ztolt a good time, Saw an adorable Raolme and took the fucking chance, mate.
:ZaliaBC: And a good time is what you’re having, if my sources are to be believed.
>It's too early to tell of Ztolt is 'the one', but he's a sweetie and you have no intention of breaking his heart either way.
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm, it’s not the act of destroying love organs I am concerned about, but the possible malice behind it. If you simply are on a date with cute boy, which you seem to be, then it doesn’t matter how it turns out in the end. Love or not, it is for him to live it, no? Hmhm, so please, have your date, have fun and… live.

>Also you're only here because he spilled his drink and needs a change of clothes, but she might already know that.
:ZaliaBC: Ah, so that’s why he smelled like he did, hmhm…
>Could remind her that if you wanted to seduce your way into a rich family, there was a certain other someone you matched with who seems eager for head scratches.
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm, why, Tristan, are you telling me that I’m easier to seduce than Sir Ztolt?
:TristanBC: You have a weakness to belly rubs, at least.
:ZaliaBC: And you’re absolutely correct! Luckily for little old me, the one with the power of belly rubs and scratches is more interested in little Ztolly instead of me, hmhm. Why, maybe I shall just have to find another Burettian to seduce me with your kinds enthralling belly rubs!
:TristanBC: I’m sure a fucking gorgeous lady like yourself won’t have any trouble to, mate.

>Since she's here anyway and Ztolt probably won't give you a tour, ask what the statues and stained glass window are about.
:ZaliaBC: Oh, you know… history…
:TristanBC: History? But what kind of history?
:ZaliaBC: The one we’re stuck in. The one this whole family is stuck in. It’s relics of the past, thus… when we came here, we brought them with us… and kept them around for far too long, hmhm… hard as you may try, people keep trying to go back… even if things are better now, isn’t that right, dear?
:TristanBC: I don’t know. I’ve always been a fucker who keeps going forward, honestly.
:ZaliaBC: That’s lovely to hear, hmhm…
>Ma'am forgive me if this is a rude question but is posturing with vague threats a Ralome cultural trait?
:ZaliaBC: Vague threats? Really? So you prefer direct ones instead?
:TristanBC: Err… that was-
:ZaliaBC: Oh, but Tristan, if you’re so eager to here proper threats, all you needed was to ask, hmhm…
:TristanBC: …so… what? If I don’t make Ztolt happy you’ll throw me in the river with… how did he put it? A cement tail?
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm, please, what do you take me for? That would make it too easy to find you… not to mention all the extra paperwork to make sure you… disappeared, hmhm…
:TristanBC: Err… that wasn’t the answer I was expecting y-
:ZaliaBC: No, dear, why bother with that when I can simply talk to some friends? See, I usually have tea with a few of the magistrates every week… and I’m sure they would love to help me get into contact with the earth embassy… and then it’s just a simple matter to explain to them how naughty you’ve been, dear, hmm? Of course, I might just be inclined to put a good word for you instead… if… hmhm… I thought you deserved it?
:TristanBC: …are you suggesting that you might just accept… head scratches?
:ZaliaBC: And belly rubs!

:ZtoltBC: Gran gran!?
>>
No. 978704 ID: 2c5282
File 160289723354.png - (89.05KB , 700x550 , 55.png )
978704

Ztolt emerges from behind the statues, wearing a bathrobe coupled with a new bowtie and his old hat. You have no idea if he just arrived or if he’s been back there for a while now…

:ZtoltBC: Stop trying to get my da- my friend to pet you! It’s degrading!
:ZaliaBC: But little Ztolly, can’t you hear his magnificent hands? They are just begging to scratch me behind the ear, hmhm…
:ZtoltBC: Ugh, see… this is exactly why I didn’t want to come back here… you’re so embarrassing, you know that… and my name is Ztolt…
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm, I’m sure your… “friend” won’t mind, dear.
:ZtoltBC: Let’s just go before this get any worse, Tristan. At least we didn’t run into my sisters, so there’s something.
:ZaliaBC: Oh, that’s because they are down at the garage.
:ZtoltBC: They are what!?
:ZaliaBC: That’s how I knew you were home, little Ztolly, I met them while I was on my way to stop your father from emptying all the bottles in the main lounge, dear.
:ZtoltBC: And now they are probably waiting at my limo to fucking ambush us like the scumsuckers they are! Gah, by the eternal dark!
:ZaliaBC: Language dear. Though, if you want I am more than willing to help, hmhm… for a prize…
:ZtoltBC: He’s not giving you head scratches!
:ZaliaBC: I demand scratches!
:ZtoltBC: No. Ugh, I’m sure we can get them to go away without your help, gran gran.
>>
No. 978705 ID: f8fa51

"Ztolt, if you don't want me to give your great grandmother scratches, I won't, but I really don't mind if you're just worried for my sake."
>>
No. 978708 ID: b1b4f3

>>978704
Tell him you don't think it's degrading. We are all animals. We all want to be touched.

Does he really think it will be LESS unpleasant to deal with his sisters than to tolerate you giving his gran some platonic physical affection?
>>
No. 978709 ID: f28519

If he doesn't want us to give her scritches we won't, we'll just have to deal with his sisters, i'm sure between the two of us we can handle it.
>>
No. 978713 ID: 36784c

>>978704
Tristan, can you whistle? I’m sure you could whistle really loudly at Ztolt’s sisters to make them go away. Maybe even give Ztolt and Zalia a demonstration to see if whistling would work. Just make sure you warn them, so they can prepare themselves for the noise.

Then again, Ztolt mentioned that there’s Ralome music going on 30/10 in his house because having a constant source of sound that bounce around the rooms make it easier to navigate instead of having to use that clicking sound he usually makes. If that music is also in the garage, then maybe we can turn it up really loud to make his sisters leave the garage?

……actually, remember your music that you gave to Ztolt as a gift? Perhaps you could play that in the garage to scare away his sisters? It’ll be something they don’t like! And if Ztolt doesn’t like the music, he’ll still like the fact that it’s something he can use against his sisters!
>>
No. 978714 ID: 2aa5f0

offer both scratches?

oh and if you do end up facing the sisters ask him what you can expect from them.
>>
No. 978715 ID: 9f00f4

Lesser of two evils, Ztolt. I don't mind giving head scratches, or possibly head scratches and belly rubs. Though, that begs the question, is there some special rule regarding non-romantic physical affection and touch in your family?
>>
No. 978716 ID: f2320a

>>978708
Support also huh i have never been scratched behind my ear but i have been petted and scratched on the scalp before and its quite pleasant if done right.
Huh his species and MC species combined would kinda look like a canine?
>>
No. 978718 ID: f2320a

>>974180
I just noticed he is holding his drink with his back leg its addorable
>>
No. 978719 ID: f2320a

>>978713
Thats some really good ideas and it will be a goodway too figure if we make weapon grade music
>>
No. 978720 ID: ba56e6

>>978704
Tell him his granny's pretty cool.

Also mention that you do happen to have an available friend who could use a wise figure to guide him in this strange place, in exchange for scratches and belly rubs. Perhaps putting in a word with him would be enough for some help?
>>
No. 978721 ID: 36784c

>>978720
Who are you talking about?
>>
No. 978752 ID: ba56e6

>>978721
Mel, of course.
>>
No. 978754 ID: 36784c

>>978752
I don’t think he’d appreciate us setting him up on a blind date with Zalia. Just leave Mel alone and let him meet someone on his own on the dating site.
>>
No. 978755 ID: 83ea8d

Ok, now is a very good time to explain to me what is so good about head and belly scratches.
Is something that you aren't supposed to do in public or something?

If you really don't want to deal with your sisters nor me giving your grandma head pats, what do you suggest? Is there another way out of here?
>>
No. 978772 ID: f9bc61

>>978704
>I demand scratches!
Considering that she just got finished threatening to have us deported and/or murdered if we didn't pet her, I'm going to say "no", and add that it's very lucky that we didn't try dating her. I don't know what Ztolt's sisters are like, but I'm willing to take my chances, because at this point I don't see how that could be a worse option than spending a single minute longer with a creep like her. I don't care what kind of sleazy scheming bullshit she comes up with, she isn't going to get physical affection with threats or force.

Is that what she's trying to do? She seemed pretty clear on that point, but then she went back to double-talk and veiled threats. If she really is willing to go that low, she should at least be honest about it. If not, the answer is still "no". And she'd better not try and play it off like she was just being playful or thought we liked it or some crap like that. I don't know what she considers "normal", but our species generally doesn't find death threats attractive.

In short, go to hell.
>>
No. 978790 ID: ba56e6

>>978772
Let's not say any of this, and embarrass ourselves.
>>
No. 978792 ID: 36784c

>>978790
I agree. Don’t say any of that!
>>
No. 978793 ID: b1b4f3

>>978772
No, she was saying she'd put in a good word if we gave her head scratches.
>>
No. 978794 ID: 6e6f32

>>978772
Eh. The threats seemed more like the the backwards charm of an old person teasing the young'ins. Toothless in intention but a mind-fuck regardless because they are very capable of going through with them.

In short, the overt threats mean Zalia is at ease.

I for one would look forward to being openly threatened in future meetings.
>>
No. 978796 ID: 9f00f4

Let's not say any of this. She was playing up her mystique somewhat. We can hardly expect to understand all the cultural connotations and subtext and expect the exact same sorts of sarcasm signals as we are used to.

Practice diplomacy and etiquette and restraint! All is likely not what it seems, here.
>>
No. 978797 ID: 9f00f4

>>978796
er, sorry, the 'not say any of this' was in response to
>>978772
>>
No. 978849 ID: a9af05

>>978713
>Play Ztolt's gift in garage to drive away his sister's
That might work.
>>
No. 978858 ID: f9bc61

>>978790
She has spent most of this conversation showing off how much she's been stalking Tristan while threatening his life and freedom and trying to extort affection out of him. "It would be embarrassing to refuse" is a rather low priority at this point. The more important thing to consider is that trying to appease power-abusing predatory creeps is very much not worth it.

>>978796
There's no good reason to assume that "I will abuse my power to destroy your life and possibly kill you if you don't give me what I want" means something other than what it says. If by some alien logic she didn't mean threats when she said threats, we should take the opportunity to inform her that her efforts are not appreciated. Anyone who actually means well would understand such a reaction.

If she wants to be friendly, she can be friendly. If she wants to be a repulsive bully, she can be a bully. She can't have it both ways.
>>
No. 978859 ID: 6e6f32

>>978858
I dunno man. This seems like a very thin skinned read of the situation.
Though it would make sense if Tristan had been traumatized by an abusive narcissist in the past.

We are technically in control of Tristan's history...
Do... Do we want a close relative (perhaps his mother), to have been a narcissistic psychopath?
>>
No. 978862 ID: 9f00f4

>>978858
Have you never heard of sarcasm or playing to a role??
>>
No. 978864 ID: ba56e6

>>978858
What the hell are you on about? The threats and warnings were if we do something to hurt Ztolt, it has nothing to do with her wanting scratches or belly rubs. I said nothing about it being embarrassing to refuse to give her scratches or belly rubs. I said that going off half-cocked and badmouthing her in front of her great great grandson, our date, is incredibly stupid and embarrassing.
>>
No. 978884 ID: 2c5282
File 160306493301.png - (73.88KB , 700x550 , 56.png )
978884

>Mention that you do happen to have an available friend who could use a wise figure to guide him in this strange place, in exchange for scratches and belly rubs. Perhaps putting in a word with him would be enough for some help?
You mean Mel? Nah, your mate probably already got a date lined up by now. Besides, who knows what he’s actually interested in? There was this nerd bug gal there too, right? He’s a nerd and she’s a nerd and… they can be nerd together or something… or are you just being a git right now, thinking all nerds are just nerds?
>Ztolt mentioned that there’s Ralome music going on 30/10 in his house.
There is some odd… you might call it classical sounding music playing here, yes… but it’s rather low, making it hard to actually hear it most of the time…

>Considering that she just got finished threatening to have us deported and/or murdered if we didn't pet her, I'm going to say "no".
To be fair, you did fucking ask her to threaten you openly… and you’re the one who brought up murder; she quite clearly made a point that anything she might do to you wouldn’t involve bodily harm. Not to mention, her threats was about you being a fool and trying to blackmail or extort their family or some other shit, not about her not getting pets. But yes, she’s clearly not someone you want on your bad side…
>She's been stalking Tristan and trying to extort affection out of him.
While her knowing everything about you is fucking creepy, you agree, but you’re pretty sure she isn’t serious about the petting… at least, you don’t think so?
>The threats seemed more like the backwards charm of an old person teasing the young'ins. Toothless in intention but a mind-fuck regardless because they are very capable of going through with them.
…she does remind you a lot of your own grandmother before she died, true…
>The overt threats mean Zalia is at ease.
She does seem a lot less tense right now compared to when this conversation started… in fact, you can’t help but notice that she’s becoming more and more affectionate as the time goes on as well. When you first saw her she was keeping her distance and observing you intently, but now… now she’s leaning against your leg completely relaxed…
>Tell her to go to hell.
Let’s not fucking insult the person who can destroy your life with a word, especially right in front of your date. You speak from experience when you say that things usually go to shit if you do.

>Tell him his granny's pretty cool.
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm…
:ZtoltBC: Don’t encourage her!
>if you do end up facing the sisters ask him what you can expect from them.
:ZaliaBC: Oh, why, they are simply two impulsive and petty children without any class.
:ZtoltBC: That’s… I would call them a pair of scumsuckers, but that works.
:TristanBC: So… no need to fucking worry then?
:ZaliaBC: Quite the opposite, actually dear. They let their emotions get the best of them for the pettiest reasons… and more than willing to try and act on it. A dangerous combination with our influence and wealth, hmhm.
:ZtoltBC: And fucking with me is probably just petty enough of a reason…
:ZaliaBC: But don’t fret, dear, I won’t let them do anything to bad.

>Ztolt, if you don't want me to give your great grandmother scratches, I won't, but I really don't mind if you're just worried for my sake.
:ZtoltBC: It’s not for your sake, it’s because it’s degrading! We’re not animals, just because we slither across the floor!
:ZaliaBC: Bah, scratches behind the ear feels so good, so why bother?
:ZtoltBC: Gran gran, stop trying to get scratches already!
:ZaliaBC: Never!
>Ok, now is a very good time to explain to me what is so good about head and belly scratches. Is something that you aren't supposed to do in public or something?
:ZaliaBC: It’s just some head pats, dear. It’s like… hugging. Something you do to people you care about and… hmhm… fancy…
:ZtoltBC: It makes us feel like pets and not people.
>Tell him you don't think it's degrading. We are all animals. We all want to be touched.
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm, exactly, dear…
:ZtoltBC: Ugh, still… it feels… wrong…
:ZaliaBC: Yet still so right, hmhm… Little Ztolly here is just too proud to admit that he loves them too.
:ZtoltBC: No, I am not… hmph…

>Lesser of two evils, Ztolt. I don't mind giving head scratches, or possibly head scratches and belly rubs.
Does he really think it will be LESS unpleasant to deal with his sisters than to tolerate you giving his gran some platonic physical affection?
:ZtoltBC: Ugh… my sisters would be a lot worse…
:ZaliaBC: See, it’s not so bad…
:ZtoltBC: This is why I didn’t want you to meet my family yet… this is just… embarrassing…
>offer both scratches?
:ZaliaBC: That’s a great idea, dear.
:ZtoltBC: What? It’s not about… it’s about the head scratches, not the lack of them!

>Tristan, can you whistle? I’m sure you could whistle really loudly at Ztolt’s sisters to make them go away. Maybe even give Ztolt and Zalia a demonstration to see if whistling would work.
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm, that’s a horrid sound, yes…
:ZtoltBC: It’s annoying, but it won’t scare anyone away. Just… don’t do that again, alright?
>Actually, remember your music that you gave to Ztolt as a gift? Perhaps you could play that in the garage to scare away his sisters?
:ZtoltBC: …why would your music…?
:TristanBC: I mean, very loudly.
:ZtoltBC: Well, it would probably drive the scumsuckers away, sure, but they’ll know I did it… and just wait near the elevator instead.
:TristanBC: So… just increase the music there as well?
:ZaliaBC: Now, now, there are other people here who don’t deserve being blasted with music, dear, hmhm…
>If you really don't want to deal with your sisters nor me giving your grandma head pats, what do you suggest? Is there another way out of here?
:ZtoltBC: Just go out the main entrance and call my car from there?
:ZaliaBC: Your sisters are laying on your car to make sure it doesn’t fly anywhere, dear.
:ZtoltBC: Well… fuck… then I don’t know?
:ZaliaBC: Or I can just go down there and tell them the truth. I need to head over there and get your father in the lounge anyway, hmhm… all it will cost you is a few head scratches…
:ZtoltBC: Huh? Truth?
:ZaliaBC: That I saw you dressed in a bathrobe and swimming trunks up here with a special friend of course! Hmhm, why, they would waste no time trying to get the pool before you did, dear…
>>
No. 978889 ID: 2aa5f0

hold hand over Zalia, look towards Ztolt to make sure it's ok, if so give Zalia head scratches until she agrees to distract the sisters, if not then put hand back down.
>>
No. 978890 ID: a38353

I dunno, the Head scratches are starting to sound like a good idea Ztolt.
>>
No. 978905 ID: b1b4f3

>>978884
Hmm. Well, that would work wouldn't it? And we have no way of luring them somewhere on our own.

>we are not pets
Well you'll just do it in a way that isn't like a pet, then.
>>
No. 978919 ID: 36784c

>>978884
>That I saw you dressed in a bathrobe and swimming trunks up here with a special friend of course! Hmhm, why, they would waste no time trying to get the pool before you did, dear…
And that will work because they’ll assume we’re going to the pool, when we’re not.

I hate to say it Ztolt, but I think we’re gonna need your gran gran’s help here.

>we’re not pets
Then don’t think of it like treating you like a pet. Instead, think about it like we’re helping scratch an itch that you can’t reach.
>>
No. 978924 ID: 4a7d07

> That I saw you dressed in a bathrobe and swimming trunks up here with a special friend of course! Hmhm, why, they would waste no time trying to get the pool before you did, dear…

Ma'am, you terrific. This is as good as we get, Ztolt, I can't think of anything better than this plan.

>we’re not pets

Pets are not the only ones that like to get touch, honey. I am all in for a good scratch in placeses I can't reach~
>>
No. 978926 ID: 4a7d07

If we ARE to give her scratches, might as well give some to him. I love seeing his leg stomp the ground in excitement.
>>
No. 978951 ID: ba56e6

>>978884
Offer Ztolt to give you head scratches instead. Then you can be his pet!
>>
No. 978952 ID: 9f00f4

>>978951
And ear scratches! And that spot under the chin! ... would a neck rub be too much to ask?

... You know what? You need to do the 'learn interspecies massage' thing. Surely there are classes? And some of the instructors would be keen on learning the specifics of a new species, maybe you could get some books and instructional videos appropriate to your own species on the topic?
>>
No. 978978 ID: f9bc61

>>978884
>To be fair, you did fucking ask her to threaten you openly
...No? All we did was call her out on her thinly-veiled threats, because she wasn't the first annoying creep to try that today. She's the one that decided to twist our words and use them as an excuse to escalate to direct threats, despite that being the exact opposite of what we meant. And she was still vague about what she was trying to bully us into doing or not doing; she didn't mention blackmail or anything actually bad like that except for saying how easy it is for her and that murdering us would be slightly less convenient.

>But yes, she’s clearly not someone you want on your bad side
We should try not to be on any side of someone like her. If she thinks we're going against her, she'll do any petty and vindictive thing she thinks she can get away with, but if we give in to her, she'll start wondering how much more she can take. The best option is to make an excuse to disengage before we have to touch her, and hope we can stay away from her until she either gets bored and starts stalking someone else or dies of old age.

>While her knowing everything about you is fucking creepy, you agree, but you’re pretty sure she isn’t serious about the petting… at least, you don’t think so?
Assuming the best of someone who brags about how easily she could have us killed would just be wishful thinking even if we were talking about our own species. She's from an "alien" culture that, for all we know, might think that sexual extortion is just being "playful" or "cute" or something. All we do know is that she wants us to think she's in a position of power and is happy to abuse it. If she really doesn't mean what she said, she'll be able to take "no" for an answer.

Make a mental note to look into how much power she actually has and whether the immigration laws would actually allow her to do what she's threatening to do. Also make a note to talk to Ztolt about the stalkling and threats at some point, ideally when his creepy grandmother is out of earshot; calling her out right now would only result in her either denying it in front of Ztolt and doing something spiteful later, or just going back to direct threats.

At the moment, we have very good reasons to assume the worst of her, and no reason to assume anything else. We need to tread lightly, but we can't make the mistake of thinking of her as a friend.

>Your sisters are laying on your car to make sure it doesn’t fly anywhere, dear.
Can he pilot it remotely to make it turn on its side or something?

If not that, then can he use the radio to play a sound that would drive them off and then call it to us? They can't block our path if they don't know where we are.

There could be another way to lure them away. Is there anything else he can tell us about them? Do they have any meetings or anything usually scheduled around this time? Some other interests that we could use to distract them? Picking on their little brother can't be the only thing they do for fun.

Are there any household servants around who would be willing to spread gossip to them? If they hear about it from Zalia, they might think she's just trying to trick them to help Ztolt, but if they hear it from gossipping servants, it might be more believable.

What if we just left and called a cab? That would get us where we needed to go faster than any weird scheme, and have the added benefit of leaving Ztolt's sisters waiting around doing nothing for several hours. They won't even be able to blame him for it, because they decided to get in his way on their own, without him lying to them or anything.
>>
No. 978979 ID: 9f00f4

>>978978

Look man, I think you are reading way, way, way too deep into this and taking this way too seriously and being a bit too paranoid. You seem to be the only participant that is seeing this much into this situation and her comments. Can we take this line of inquiry to the disc thread?
>>
No. 979189 ID: 2c5282
File 160329741431.png - (117.16KB , 700x550 , 57.png )
979189

>You need to do the 'learn interspecies massage' thing. Surely there are classes?
There has to be, but you really don’t have the time right now, do you? You’re on a bloody date after all, mate.
>If we ARE to give her scratches, might as well give some to him. I love seeing his leg stomp the ground in excitement.
He doesn’t stomp, he scratches the floor… and it’s fucking adorable.

>Ma'am, you terrific.
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm… why, Mr. Dowe, I can’t do anything but agree…
:ZtoltBC: Ugh, can you two stop that already? It’s getting annoying…

>There could be another way to lure them away. Is there anything else he can tell us about them? Picking on their little brother can't be the only thing they do for fun.
:ZaliaBC: Why, I do believe they’ve put aside some time for their favorite pass time.
:ZtoltBC: Of course they have… those two scumsuckers must have figured out I was going on a date somehow…
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm, probably by simply observing that you were getting ready for one earlier, like I did. Though, dear, I did see them go into your room while you were getting your clothes pressed…
:ZtoltBC: What!? Those fucking bitches! They’ve been in my messages again, haven’t they!? Gah! How do they keep figuring out my passwords?
:ZaliaBC: Maybe stop writing it down on a note right next to your datapad?
:ZtoltBC: …Shut up…
>Can he pilot it remotely to make it turn on its side or something?
:ZtoltBC: I wish I should just drive into the sky with them on it before shacking them off, but sadly that’s impossible.
:ZaliaBC: It’s programmed to not drive if it detects a person on it… to prevent… hmhm… accidents…
:ZtoltBC: I can play a warning telling them to get off, but they are probably expecting that…

>What if we just left and called a cab?
:ZtoltBC: …a what?
:ZaliaBC: An automobile for hire, dear.
:TristanBC: You’ve never had a cab before, mate?
:ZtoltBC: Why would I? I’ve had a private auto-car since I was a teenager. And I rather not get into one either… I’ve heard stories and they… they are fucking disgusting…
:ZaliaBC: Hmhm, it’s not that bad… or are you saying you rather help me get scratches than take a taxi, hmm?
:ZtoltBC: …ugh… yes… yes, I rather see him scratch you then get into some scum filled, end of the river driven scrap heap that rolls on the ground.
:TristanBC: There would be the added benefits in that it