2/2 teegee 2020/04/15(Wed)17:31 No. 962110 ID: 891b91
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“State forthwith, individual, thy appellation and thy plea.”

No contest. There are things that'd be best that they did not know

>>962113
The last time you explained this was the cause of AT LEAST one of those charges, so on that account you’ll hold your peace.

Jane Doover, and I have the strangest feeling of deja vu right now.

>>962115
And the nomen is Klaatu.

"I am Khalpi. I am a good giraffe. What is a tri... trib... tribe-thingy? What is a crim? Can you eat it?

Daddy threw a treat here so now I am here and I am looking for my treat, have you seen my treat anywhere?"

"Wow, you're pretty tall, also, your halos are pretty, can we touch 'em."

I contest the legitimacy of this trial! Under what law and on what authority do you cast judgement!

"I swear, the anti-de sitter space curvature readings said the chance of manifold collapse was below the Planck logarithm scale! It wasn't my fault, it was an accident!"
Alternatively, "Haha, timespace jump go whoosh!"

No body, no personality, no gender... I'm not naming a character we know nothing about. Postpone.

>>962110
Time is an illusion.

>>962110
>>962119
Klaatu is our name, we give no plea for we have not yet done that which we are accused. Your accusations are moot, and your halo is tacky. We do not answer to you.

>>962110
"I'm being FAMED, I tells ya! It was my evil alternate dimension self that committed all that time travel crap! I'm just the fallout!"

>>962109
i was scared, i was disorientated, i was trapped .there where traps within traps and traps after my fleash body dropped (death) my mind was shaped by decisions i was forded to stick to and random chance, thus my mind was a maze that i knew not the shape of.
i could only work when i was in serenity and i was not in control of that. i-i still don't know what unknown unknowns there where.
i even fear you for you appere as an uoɥɔɹɐ

Yell objection and congestion for no reason! This tactic will confuse them and yourself at the same time!

Flash your genitals in defiance

Klaatu sounds fine, go with that

Plea: "Not Guilty. They had it coming."

>>962110
Plead impossibility and unaccountability by employing the frisk defence; these possibilities remained just that while you remained delineated and as such until this tribune was observed, causing an actualization of a singlular you, they remained possibilities, but not you are actualized you both can't commit them and they are responsible for observing them.

>toroidizing chrono-synclastic infundibula
Also, I just want to say that this charge is a thing of wonder.

>>962126
Hmm, another good idea I just had.

Don't answer their question and instead simply say,
"I request asylum."

If they have any asylum laws, they might supersede this trial, giving you more time and possible solutions to handle the situation.

Say you don't know what that is.

Also your name is Skunesk and you're very much not guilty.

"I did it, I'm glad I did it, and I'll do it again with your mama's while your daddy's watch."

>>962209
"And ya'll can call me 'Horny' cause I'm gonna be fucking all of ya'll the the second I get up on those high horse podiums of yours."

1/14 teegee 2020/04/18(Sat)14:37 No. 962434 ID: 891b91
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"U-um, my apple-what?"

"Your name, churl," the one on the left snaps.

2/14 teegee 2020/04/18(Sat)14:37 No. 962435 ID: 891b91
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"JaneDooverKlaatuKhalpiImnottellingSkuneskYallcancallmeHornycauseImgonnabefuckingallofyall"

W-what?

"...Klaatu. My name's Klaatu." I think??

3/14 teegee 2020/04/18(Sat)14:37 No. 962436 ID: 891b91
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"Let it be known to this tribunal that the defendant hath declared the appellation Klaatu."

The one in the middle leans forward. "And thy plea?"

4/14 teegee 2020/04/18(Sat)14:37 No. 962437 ID: 891b91
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"NocontestWhatistribWhatiscrimCaneatitIcontestlegitimacy!WasntmyfaultItwasanaccidentTimeisanillusionwehavenotyetdonethatwhichweareaccusedWedono
tanswertoyouImbeingframedItwasmyevilalternatedimensionselfIwasscareddisorientedtrappedtrapswithintrapsaftermyfleshbodydroppedmymindwa
sshapedbyrandomchancemymindwasamazeicouldonlyworkwheniwasinserenityiwasnotincontrolistilldontknowwhatunknownunknownstherewereievenfea
ryouOBJECTION!CONGESTION!Heycheckthisoutcomeandgetsome~NotguiltyTheyhaditcomingThesepossibilitiesremainedjustthatwhileiremaineddeline
atedandassuchuntilthistribunalwasobservedcausingactualizationofasingularmeIrequestasylumIdontknowwhatthatisIdiditImgladIdiditandIlldo
itagain!"

w-what is happening to me, I'm so confused

>deja vu
This is beyond deja vu!

I try to recollect myself. "U-uh, no... no contest? The last time I explained --"

5/14 teegee 2020/04/18(Sat)14:38 No. 962438 ID: 891b91
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"OBJECTION!"

"Oh, what is it now," the one on the left snarls.

A tall figure steps out from the darkness. "Your honors, would you really try this one without giving them proper representation? This is an abrogation of justice!" He waves a limb towards me. "Why, just look at them, they've barely cohered at all!"

6/14 teegee 2020/04/18(Sat)14:38 No. 962439 ID: 891b91
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"Such arrogance! Have you any idea how much trouble this court went through to secure that criminal?" The one on the left gesticulates in my direction angrily. "The seriousness of their crimes demands a speedy and decisive trial! Why, for this interruption alone we should--"

7/14 teegee 2020/04/18(Sat)14:38 No. 962440 ID: 891b91
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"The interlocutor hath a valid point," the middle judge interrupts.

The left one whirls in place to face the middle. "Titania, you can't be serious! We--"

"No crime is so great that it does not deserve a fair trial, Polonius. Justice shall see its day -- a small delay to allow the accused to... further coalesce is something this court can afford."

8/14 teegee 2020/04/18(Sat)14:38 No. 962441 ID: 891b91
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"Hmph. I expect you concur with her, Jaswinder?" He shoots an annoyed glance in the direction of the judge on the right.

"indeed! the court needn't hurry these things. and besides, we think we spied, perchance, some iteration we would like to see coalesce further, mwehehe~

9/14 teegee 2020/04/18(Sat)14:39 No. 962442 ID: 891b91
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Polonius pounds his podium, pointing a finger at Jaswinder. "You lecherous old--"

Titania raps her gavel loudly. "Colleagues, cease thy bickering! It is unbecoming of this court."

A silence falls over the room. "Now, shall this court adjourn until such time that the defendant hath coalesced into greater self-agreement?"

"Yea," Titania and Jaswinder say in unison. Polonius echoes bitterly with a gravelly "Nay."

10/14 teegee 2020/04/18(Sat)14:39 No. 962444 ID: 891b91
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"Then it is decided. Individual, this court shall adjourn to allow thee to coalesce into a more coherent state. Until then, thou shalt be spirited to a null realm where thy machinations shall cause no harm. The interlocutor here shall act as thy representation and council -- unless thou should choose to fire him, which would no doubt please Polonius immensely."

Titania looms over me, her voice taking on a dark and foreboding tone. "Do not tarry in making thy recovery, individual, lest this court would grow... impatient -- which, I assure thee, thou should dearly wish to avoid. We shall check in on thee from time to time, to assess thy progress."

11/14 teegee 2020/04/18(Sat)14:39 No. 962445 ID: 891b91
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A flash of light overcomes me; when my vision clears, I find myself... here. Wherever that is?

It isn't much to look at -- just a featureless white plane extending in all directions. Far in the distance are collections of hazy, floating shapes, slowly rotating and morphing over time.

12/14 teegee 2020/04/18(Sat)14:40 No. 962446 ID: 891b91
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The, uh, interlocutor is here, too, looking at me expectantly.

An awkward moment passes before I decide I should say something. "...Hi?"

"Oh good, you're awake! Sometimes people lock up a bit when they first get here. Anyway, what a lucky break, eh? Getting Titania herself as the Center... certainly makes my job easier since she's so by the book! We might actually have a chance at this thing, even with Polonius on the bench."

"I'm-- I'm sorry, I'm just so confused--" It's getting to me, I feel myself starting to break down, I'm going to --

"Heyheyheyheyhey now, shshshsh...". He rubs my back reassuringly. "Don't let yourself get worked up, we're gonna figure this thing out, you 'n me, okay?"

13/14 teegee 2020/04/18(Sat)14:40 No. 962447 ID: 891b91
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I suck it up as best I can. "O--okay. So... now what?"

"Alright, so Katoo, was it?"

"Uh, Klaatu, actually. I think."

"Gotcha, lemme just jot that down here, Klaaaah toooo... alright! Name's Kierkegaard, by the way, but just call me Kirk for short." He stuffs his notepad in his breast pocket. "Now, for starters let's establish some alibis so we can get you cleared of these charges." A wooden table with two chairs appears nearby. "C'mon, have a seat and tell me your side of things."

14/14 teegee 2020/04/18(Sat)14:40 No. 962448 ID: 891b91
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I take a seat and adjust myself into it -- chairs for bipeds are always so tricky -- until I eventually find a comfortable position and stare off into the distance while I try to collect my thoughts. But everything's so vague and jumbled. "I--I don't even know, none of it makes sense... I don't even... I don't understand how I got to that courtroom, let alone here..."

"Okay, okay. Easier question. What's the last thing you remember before showing up in court? Gimme as much detail as you can."

It was a dark and stormy night...

That's it. That's all I remember.

It appears we were ever possible iteration of ourselves at the same time! We really sure did toroidized the chronospatial, huh?

But what we remember, huh? It was a chill morning. There was a smell of rotting fruit in the air, so maybe late spring, late fall? Galtine's Rings were visible on the horizon. Reminded ourselves of the time we spilled iced-food on our ex that on summer day so many years ago. Not sure why. Then there was like this.. colour? We think? That sort of formed out of the nearby stalks. It was sort of a red with some brown, but it was also a mirror. It was blocking the street, so we helped it across the street, and once there we followed it as we ran away from it until we ran into it and then it was walking backward but was a blue now and we walked away towards it as well and and and..... then the judges happened? Feels like there's a couple of years we're forgetting there.

I was railing Polonius' mom...

I don't remember. They asked some things and it's like I suddenly tried to say all kinds of things at once, but I'm guessing that's not possible possible so it came out as a jumble? I'm guessing it has something to do with the chrono-spacial whatzits they were talking about but I don't know... anything about that. How, why, why I'd want to do this to myself...

>>962449
It was definitely dark and stormy, but I also think I remember... laughter? Like, real, deep-throat evil cackle stuff.

Not sure whether it was mine or someone else's, though.

>>962448
A kaleidoscope of mirrors. Countless parallel dimensions twisting around you like a cocoon.
A field of stars. You blinked, and they blinked too.
A small red ball.

>>962448
Pretty sure I was asleep, I remember things but they... there's no way they were real or could even happen?

Being chased by wolves.

... No, wait... That's just a music video.

nothing, my first memory is the judge yelling “INDIVIDUAL! Thou art before this tribunal to answer for thy crimes most grievous... Thou art charged with triple-recursive chronospatial inversion, dimensional deparallelization, probability manifold nullification, and toroidizing chrono-synclastic infundibula!” at me. which if true I assume means I killed my mind in the process, which until that mind death of self unhappens I know nothing.

>>962469
By the way what are you getting out of this?

the last thing I remember is someone yelling "individual" aaaand then the whole court case started... what's chronospatial inversion, dimensional deparallelization, and the rest of those things I was being charged with?

I was eating an egg, then I was in the courtroom.

I was a pirate and was in the middle of dividing booty. However, one of the treasures was a strange box with a label on it that said "Rubik's Tesseract". I opened it and found a strange-looking object inside. I played with it for a while, and when all the sides looked the same, I stopped to look around. I saw a bunch of different times and places that I could reach into. But as I did so, my hand (and body?) began to look strange, as if there were multiple versions of it. One of these versions grabbed into one of the places and pulled me in, where I wandered around for a few seconds? Or days? Until I saw some figures appear next to me, which shot me with something and I think knocked me out.

1/2 teegee 2020/04/21(Tue)01:32 No. 962851 ID: 891b91
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"ItwasadarkandstormynightGaltinesRingswerevisibleonthehorizonIwasrailingPoloniusmomIcantrememberRealdeepthroatevilcacklestuffAkaleidoscopeofmirrorsIwasasleepThatsjustamusicvideoEatinganeggIwasapirateandwasinthemiddleofdividingbooty"

"Easy now, try not to let yourself get overwhelmed like that." Two mugs appear on the tabletop and he offers one to me. "Here, this'll help settle your nerves."

After a moment's hesitation, I accept the mug and taste its contents tentatively -- it's coffee. Really good coffee. "How did you --"

"Never mind that for now. Just take a deep breath and just say whatever feels like the... most prominent answer."

"I... can't recall, I just remember suddenly being in front of that judge while she's shouting at me."

"Mmm. That doesn't give us much to go on for the moment, but we'll keep working at it."

2/2 teegee 2020/04/21(Tue)01:33 No. 962852 ID: 891b91
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"So... what're you getting out of this?"

He eyes me for a moment. "Oh, don't worry, I'm doing this pro bono. I mean, you stood no chance of beating these charges until I stepped in, so if I didn't help you, who would?"

"I don't even understand what the charges mean, so how can I be guilty? Shouldn't that prove I'm innocent?"

"'Fraid not. Just 'cause you don't get it now doesn't mean that you won't eventually, or that you didn't some time in the past, or that some other you in another probability space or another universe doesn't know it."

"But why charge me if I'm not the, uh... the me who did it?"

"Doesn't really work that way. Your charges pretty much amount to 'you futzed with the nature of the multiverse', and when we're dealing with that kinda stuff it's almost impossible to pin down for sure which version of you did it." He pauses to take a long sip from his coffee. "'You' being a relative term, of course."

So if I hunt down and bring the version of me who did it to justice, I'll get off scot free?

So it's pretty clear that something happened, to get me so... messed up. Can you explain the charges to me?

So the trail is more of a show then a trail, where they try someone to show people that their actions have consequences and to make people thing twice before braking the law... even if the guy they’re punishing isn’t the guy who broke the law.

So... do to all infinite possibilities being simultaneously real, and all versions of ones self being considered guilty of the crimes of all others, every one is guilty of everything?

"So since they can't prove any single version of me did it, they nabbed all of the 'me' that ever could be, might be, and could have been at once just to be sure? Is that why I'm so jumbled?"

"I'd appreciate an explanation of the charges, at the very least. If I don't have any cohesive memories before the start of the trial, then it would seem like the only obvious solution would be to retroactively undo whatever crime I'm guilty of... although, considering it sounds like the charges might imply that that's what got me sent here, to begin with, that could be tricky."

Are the blurt outs going to go down, or are we stuck with it?

Also, seems like if it wasn't us, those judges' eagerness is gonna do a whole lot of nothing for the real reality warper.

Going to go out on a limb and say this is a recurring issue.

So the me that did whatever those charges are may still be out there preparing to do it again? Perhaps even while I am wherever here is?

"Are they really charging me with crimes against the WHOLE multiverse? Isn't that basically impossible? There must be infinite sets of universes that 'my' actions haven't affected, worlds where an alternate self failed or simply ceased to exist."

So, I'm every possible me? How is it fair to punish every possible me? I'm not even sure I did this to myself!

So all iterations are also speaking through him. Interesting.

A funny thing just crossed my mind. What if they don't actually have any evidence to charge you? Where this is all a ploy and this guy isn't helping you for free, but is actually getting paid to obtain evidence and/or admission of guilt from you?

Tell him you'd like to review the existing evidence against you.

>>962889
Support

>>962852
So their answer is to punish my very concept? That's a bit much, isn't it? I mean, yes, a single instance of my self just so happened to screw everything up, but it hardly seems like justice to hold all of me accountable.
What exactly did "I" do? And what's the punishment?

>>962889
Same

1/3 teegee 2020/04/22(Wed)14:46 No. 963080 ID: 891b91
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I feel another... episode coming on, so I take a deep breath and focus on whatever answer sticks out the most, like Kirk suggested. "So since they can't prove any single version of me did it, they nabbed all of the 'me' that ever could be, might be, and could have been at once just to be sure? Is that why I'm so jumbled?"

"Exactly. They snatched up everyone and everything that could be considered 'you' in some way, to make sure they caught the perpetrator. And then they stuffed all that 'you' into a single body to keep any of it from escaping, and that's why you're having a bit of an identity crisis right now."

"Does that mean I'm stuck with these, uh, 'blurt-outs'?"

"Maybe, depends on how good you get at controlling 'em, like you did just now."

"Well, what if I figure out which version of me did it and turn them in? Would the... rest of me get off scot free?"

He shakes his head. "Nope. They'd keep you condensed like this and you'd be doomed to stay in this place for eternity. Y'know, just in case."

"That doesn't seem fair at all!"

"Oh, it isn't. But fairness kinda goes out the window when someone starts screwing with reality itself, y'know?"

"So could the me that did whatever those charges are still be out there preparing to do it again? Perhaps even while I am wherever here is?"

"Nope. If some version of you is guilty of those charges, they're here right now, as a part of you."

"If all possibilities are simultaneously real, doesn't that mean everyone's guilty of everything?"

He shrugs. "According to the court's definition of guilt, I suppose so. But that only gets applied to these sorts of crimes, of course."

"Are they really charging me with crimes against the whole multiverse? How is that possible? There must be an infinite number of universes that 'my' actions haven't affected, worlds where an alternate self failed or simply ceased to exist!"

"You'd be right if we were talking about crimes that happened inside a particular universe. But the multiverse has its own structure and mechanisms that can be tampered with or broken, and when that happens it stands to affect all worlds."

2/3 teegee 2020/04/22(Wed)14:46 No. 963081 ID: 891b91
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I sigh. "Can you at least explain the charges to me?"

"Gladly." He holds up a hand and a large book appears in it, which he begins thumbing through. "Let's see here..

"Triple-recursive chronospatial inversion: They're accusing you of taking some region of space-time-probability and, ah, swapping space and time with each other. I can't really explain what happens because it makes no sense whatsoever, but basically it's armageddon for any worlds caught in it. The triple-recursive part means that you did it three times over to the same region, for whatever reason.

"Dimensional deparallelization: This one means you took a pair of parallel universes and, how should I put it, 'rotated' one so that they aren't parallel anymore. That's a gross simplification, of course, but it results in some really nasty cross-universe causality problems.

"Probability manifold nullification: You deleted a bunch of universes to make sure a certain event happens in only one of them. Or to make sure a certain event doesn't happen in any of them. Maybe both.

"Toroidizing chrono-synclastic infundibula: Okay, so time is kind of driven forward by these 11-dimensional funnel-shaped sections of space, right? Well, you turned one into an 11-dimensional donut, which breaks off some chunk of spacetime into its own weird, repeating timeline. It's a way to create blind spots that mess with beings that don't perceive time linearly, at the expense of leaving a chunk of the multiverse completely cut off from the rest."

3/3 teegee 2020/04/22(Wed)14:47 No. 963082 ID: 891b91
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I stare at the undulating shapes in the distance, trying to process what Kirk said. "Do they even have evidence that I did any of that?"

"I'll have to get back to you on that one, but I'm sure they have something they believe is proof. It almost doesn't matter, though, since my work involves proving that it's impossible for my clients to be guilty of these crimes in any spacetime."

"How... how can you even do that?"

"Well you see, this place isn't just some transdimensional prison. It's a bit more special than that -- it's what the eggheads call a condensed hyperbolic spacetime. For us normal folks that basically means two things: one, it's got a helluva lot more room than your normal kinda spacetime, and two, it doesn't have any parallel universes of its own."

"I -- I don't understand."

"Well alright, you know how I said they grabbed all the yous that could ever possibly exist? All those versions of you came from parallel universes. Everything in regular universes has a ton of other versions in a ton of other universes. But here, it's different. It's condensed. All of the stuff that would be in separate universes gets compacted down into one super-version. That includes you and me. And the judges, for that matter."

"So how does that help prove I'm innocent?"

"Well, while you're here all the different yous are kinda duking it out whenever you make a choice, you see? Some are... stronger than others, and so those are the ones that end up winning out, and that pretty much decides what the super-you is like. Like just now the version of you that is completely freakin' confused by all of this won out over the ones that could make enough sense of everything to remember what they were doing before they got nabbed. But all of the crazy things you've been accused of pretty much require a version of you that is, ah, existentially strong, let's say, to make it possible at all. So if some version of you is guilty of this stuff, it'll show up in the fully-condensed version of you that is comin' together by you being here. The judges are bettin' it will, and I'm bettin' it won't."

So to be innocent, we just have to believe we're innocent? Clap if you believe in fairies and all that jazz?

With exceptions this seems like a really bad idea for how a court case should work because it damns many over one regardless, alongside the whole.

Though a Time Donut certainly sounds fun.

>>963081
I think the charges were listed in order of severity, worst ones first. Seems normal for a court of law.
>Triple-recursive chronospatial inversion
Okay so basically, breaking reality, and three times over for some reason? Killing lots of people in the process. Nasty.
>Dimensional deparallelization
Parallel dimensions... I guess an analogy would be the astral plane? Changing things so that actions in one plane affect a location you wouldn't expect in the other. Very bothersome.
>Probability manifold nullification
Deleting universes... wait, wouldn't that be the effect rather than the cause? Restricting probability would reduce the multiverse retroactively, but due to the infinite branching nature of the multiverse you'd have to delete universes in some way that would retroactively affect the timeline for that to restrict probability. Anyway this seems bad just from the perspective of free will. In theory no loss of life is actually happening because they retroactively never existed, in one way or another.
>Toroidizing chrono-synclastic infundibula
So, like creating a pocket dimension where time loops? Wait, why do this? It's a blind spot to non-linear beings sure, but linear beings would be either trapped in it or have a very limited amount of time to spend there before having to leave.

>existential strength
Interesting. So, if you did these crimes, the criminal version of yourself would have such a strong personality they'd be the one talking? ...how will the judges be convinced you're not just pretending to be innocent?
Is there any indication of what motive the criminal had? How likely is it that these crimes were mostly accidental? Would that even matter? Also, if time can be perceived non-linearly, that implies time travel is possible. Could the damage be undone?
What beings are there that perceive time non-linearly?

Waitwaitwait.

So if some part of 'me' - ACROSS ALL THE MULTIVERSES THAT HAS A ME - is ABLE to do these things - just ABLE - that makes me all guilty by associ-me-ation?

Or does the trial just proceed from there? I mean, it should, right? After all, isn't it pretty good odds that across the vastness of the multiverse there's a 'me' who's got mad moxie and is, I don't know, way into whatever weird trancedidgeroo math required for multiversal villainy? Even if that's true that doesn't mean I did it!

Also, can this whole 'condensation' thing be undone or are we performing me-nocide? Asking for a concerned me.

>>963081
If i flipped space and time 3 times it would be normal strange normal strange if i flipped it again would that not solve that charge or is it that i flipped it to the unatural way 3 times? So it would be normal strange normal strange normal strange? Then i unlined parallel universes like are they like two conected universes to each other and happening at the same time? Are we talking like a line chart and i make so they crossed over each other but then never meet again what would x and y be to define this twisting? And the last one did i literally create a time paradox that is its own multiverse? And this brings up a important question if time moves by this wedge foreward where does it go beacuse if if it just goes into infinity this would not be a problem if its not like snipping a tube or stripping the bark in a ring around the trunk basically stopping a tree in its track killing it or could a tube formed bit of 11d vedge grow or would it just go to the end point and expire destroying or pausing all contained in it? And if there is finite amount of this stuff would this not mean the multiverse is like a inginate looping doughnut that is conected end to end what would this mean for a multiversal living singularity would it just get destroyed then created again with each new loop becoming a new doughnut meaning all crimes all happened will happen has happen thus happening has happened on a fractal doughnut thats the same each time beacuse its finite they are all the same size of infinate of finate inside each other like scale models inside scale models would not the erasure of a finate infinity of all that could be sorted as a person from all realities that and had happen damage it alot.
and if all of me is here does this mean there are non of me beacuse past present future and all variations are all here at this instance basically erasing me from ever happening but what happens to this me void or am i there and here at the same time?

Hmm, now that you mention it, I do remember doing all of these things. Yes, by inverting the horizon three times I was able to... mmm, and breaking off a brane allowed me to...

Anyway, guilty as charged!

>>963096
Yeah i dont make sense and i gave myself a headache picturing a doughnut that split and loops but the issue is solved by it layering over itself like the paths of a planet around a sun if it constantly left a line after itself forming this wibbly wobbly loop that stays the same size or constantly grows its diameter but had the same size pattern on its edges or just a pool ring so bassically all this ends up with a doughnut where time never loops due to it expanding at the same or greater speed then time is happening or just a normal loop

Suggestion 2020/04/22(Wed)16:08 No. 963112 ID: f2320a

>>963094
If there is only one or a minority of me who do would this not be like ethnic cleansing and a steep overreaction so is this a issue of them being to lazy to find the guilty one so they will kill all?

>>963112
And if this super powerful minority did this would not this version of me be non-guilty due to the evil me being a small enough part i dont have the faintest clue what they did?

"So is you having to explain the charges admissible in court, or will proving I could never have done it - nor will do it - be more complicated than that? Do we have to figure out the 'whydunnit?' That is, what purpose all these crimes served, or what logical string of accidents could have caused them? Either way, we'll need to see the actual facts of the case first, so... maybe I'm ready? Got any advice?"

So what you're saying is... this whole thing is more or less a waiting game to see if I mess up and let my... what, dark side come out? So what happens if I'm found guilty anyways? You said that I just get stuck in a place like this? For how long? Like, until I die... can I even die when I'm a super me?

Shouldn't there be some kind of discovery process where they let you know what the evidence is?

You just said you have to prove I'm not capable of committing these crimes. That means I'm guilty until proven innocent?

No point arguing about the court system being bullshit, that's not going to change it, but we definitely need to know what we're working with.

Do you have a plan for how to proceed?

>>963082
What you're describing is at the far edge of probability - an individual with the capability, wherewithal, and drive to succeed at manipulating multiversal physics would be in the 1% of the 1% of the 1% of a googolplex of possible instances. It's such a slight possibility that it's effectively zero.
But only effectively so. As slim as it is, there's still a chance, and that's exactly what this trial is for: to see if that unlikely instance exists.
Even if I'm 99.9999 percent innocent, if even that tiny bit of guilt exists, then I'm fucked.
And the fact that I could figure all that out worries me!
What are the odds that the guilty instance destroyed itself?
What if it just stays mum and buries itself amidst the myriad of other versions?

"Existential strength" is required for this? Does that mean doing this doesn't involve any equipment? Like, someone's mind just causes the warps?

So basically I could be just a ticking time bomb here, and if I am guilty I'm going to 'blow up' in some sense?
Also you know, speaking of donuts you gotta any to go with this coffee?

>>963082
THIS MAKE THIS KLAATU HEAD HURT. THIS KLAATU WANT TAKE NAP.

>>963082
Two questions.

First, I'm assuming they have clear evidence that all those terrible things actually happened, and the only issue is figuring out who did them, and if it's some version of me?

And second, if you have this much power over time and space, is it possible for us, or for us and them, to go watch some parallel version of myself, and see what they did? Or even, make it not have happened?

>>963081
"I dunno why I'm the one who was dragged in, since all of this started before I was even born. That kinda makes it a fixed probability, you know? But I guess I did work on these projects, so I can answer some of it.

Ok, so, Triple-recursive chronospatial inversion and Toroidizing chrono-synclastic infundibula?
I'm gonna plead not guilty due to necessity on those.
There was an incursion of chronovores. I'd say 'fast-breeding' chronovores, but that doesn't really make sense? We thought the first inversion would kill them off, then we inverted again to restore normalcy to that sector. Turns out that didn't work, so we inverted again so they'd be eating what, to us, would be space. That bought us enough linear time to trap them inside a closed timelike curve and isolate them from our probability cone.
Talking about destroyed worlds would just be crocodile tears, since everything in the affected galaxy was completely achronal before we realized there was even a problem.

As far as Probability manifold nullification? That couldn't be us. We poured everything into this, so if our attempt had failed that'd have been it.
We weren't quiet about it, though, so the odds are pretty close to 100% that somebody else would have initiated a false vacuum collapse or something. I can't imagine any species would be willing to go out via chronodeprivation - actually, can you pull in our records? We've got a lot of data on what happened to the chronovore victims, and it might be horrifying enough to get them to agree that it was too necessary to be criminal.
Besides, if this really is a fully collapsed universe-line then the judges are already working from the basis that these sorts of things are sometimes necessary, because otherwise they'd have to punish themselves for this place existing

Anyway, I have no idea how somebody would go about 'Dimensional deparallelization'. As far as our understanding of physics goes, that's impossible for any species within a universe to do. I don't even know how you'd tell that apart from a nullification, since they'd both be removals from the probability space.

Unless it was the chronovores. Do you have better ways to fend them off? Because if this is a fully collapsed universe-line then this would probably be the worst possible place for them to infest.

1/4 teegee 2020/05/05(Tue)23:32 No. 965311 ID: 891b91
File 158874672012.png - (131.45KB , 800x599 , nv1-004-1.png )

There's a long pause while he waits for me to process everything he just said. "Can this whole 'condensation' thing be undone, at least?" I finally ask.

"...Yes. Mostly. If you're found innocent the court will decondense you, but the various versions of you will have affected each other in permanent ways. Just the way it is, I'm afraid." He shrugs. "But hey, it's not so bad, y'know. I should know, considering I'm condensed myself."

"You're condensed? Why?"

"I couldn't do my job at all if I wasn't. Plus it feels kinda special, knowing I'm the only me that can end ever will exist in any universe."

"So to be innocent, I... we... all the me's just have to believe we're innocent?" I pinch the bridge of my snout in incredulity. "Clap if you believe in fairies and all that jazz."

"If that was the case, you wouldn't be here right now, would you? It's about capability, about whether you possess that special interdimensional mojo that makes you capable of these acts."

"So if some part of 'me' -- across all the universes that has a me -- is able to do these things, just able -- that makes me guilty by association?"

"Nope, but it's evidence, and strong evidence at that. The multiverse doesn't get many people who fit that description -- just several hundred known cases, last I checked. Of course, most of them are stuck here now. If folks like Polonius had their way, all of them would be here." He takes another long sip of his coffee. "Or just eradicated entirely."

"So if, uh, 'existential strength' is needed to even commit these crimes... does that mean it's like a psychic power? The culprit just does it with their mind?"

"No, it's more like existential strength is a consequence of having the ability to comprehend spacetime-probability on a deep enough level to grasp how to commit these crimes. And very few people have that."

"What if the guilty version of me destroyed itself?"

"Then you wouldn't be here and we wouldn't be having this conversation. ...Well, if the court was perfect about picking who it chooses to accuse, anyway, which it isn't. But in that case you'd be guaranteed to be acquitted so long as you've got someone like me batting for you, which you do."

"What if it stays mum and buries itself amid the myriad other versions?"

"It can't, this place and the condensation process would force it to... rise to the top, let's say. Like I said, if it's there then it's gonna show up once you've fully cohered -- whether it wants to or not."

2/4 teegee 2020/05/05(Tue)23:32 No. 965312 ID: 891b91
File 158874673501.png - (209.54KB , 800x599 , nv1-004-2.png )

"So even if I'm 99.9999 percent innocent, if even a single version of me is guilty, then I'm fucked."

"...Yeah, pretty much. But the court would say that there's a high likelihood of existential strength being 'contagious' among different iterations of the same person, and they aren't really wrong about that, so even the innocent yous would still be a huge liability." He sighs and leans forward, folding his hands. "Listen, worrying about these hypotheticals isn't gonna help get you acquitted. I've got a strong hunch you're completely innocent, so it's simply a matter of getting you to a fully-cohered state and demonstrating that you lack the ability to commit these crimes. Or if I'm wrong, then we can still make a big stink about every piece of evidence they've got."

"Yeah, speaking of evidence... shouldn't there be some kind of discovery process where they actually tell us what the evidence is?"

"Probably, but these cases never follow a standard procedure. Particularly 'cause the court answers to no one, so who's to tell them they're wrong? Thankfully Titania's the most powerful of the bunch, and the most principled, so we've got a good chance of getting her to change things up if we can convince her it's for the sake of fairness. So the next step on my agenda is to get ahold of whatever evidence they've got on you."

"What about the fact that you had to explain the charges to me? Is that admissable in court?"

"Sure, it's evidence, but it's hardly enough to prove our case."

"How are we going to convince the judges that I'm not just pretending to be innocent?"

"Doesn't matter if you're pretending. If you've got the mojo, the court's gonna find it eventually. And if they don't find it, well, then that makes it piss easy to get you acquitted. If they do find it, then that's when we gotta rely on evidence."

3/4 teegee 2020/05/05(Tue)23:32 No. 965313 ID: 891b91
File 158874675377.png - (213.60KB , 800x599 , nv1-004-3.png )

"So... what now?"

"Well, the next step is for me to go hound the court until they give us access to whatever evidence they've got on you."

"Okay, but what should I do? Do I just wait until, uh, I've become my super-me?"

"Oh, no, not at all! That'd take forever. What you need to do is develop your condensed self through exploration!"

"Exploration? Of what?"

"Of this universe."

I glance around at the, uh, landscape. "It doesn't look like there's much to explore."

"It looks that way, doesn't it? This place is special, though. It reacts to anyone trapped in it. How it reacts varies from person to person, but suffice to say, if you start trying to get somewhere, you eventually will."

"So I just... start walking and decide I'm going to end up somewhere interesting?"

"Yes, that's pretty much how it works. Especially if you have a specific idea or concept in mind. Even abstract stuff works. Just nothing too specific or complex -- keep it general."

"And how does that help me, uh, condense?"

"It's technical, but... basically, it's like shaking a jar of nuts. Do it enough and the biggest ones rise to the top. If you 'shake' yourself through this universe enough, the existentially strongest parts rise to the 'top'. Get what I mean?"

"Yeah... I guess so?"

"Great! I'd better get to it with the evidence-obtaining and whatnot, then. I'll check up on you from time to time, but here's my card. Just use it if you need me, alright?"

4/4 teegee 2020/05/05(Tue)23:32 No. 965314 ID: 891b91
File 158874676880.png - (140.02KB , 800x599 , nv1-004-4.png )

"But how do I -- Oh. He's gone," I say to myself I guess. Or myselves?

I guess I should, uh, think of where I want to go, or what I want to find?

>>965314
Let’s go somewhere that serves pizza. Can’t go to trial on an empty stomach!

Well, if things are going to start super abstract, then let's start with the abstract. Think of going to a museum and see what sort of art pops up

>>965313
>contact: place card on forehead
Well that's simple.

>>965314
Hmm. Okay let's go somewhere calming for the first trip. The beach!

>>965316
Hell yeah! Lets get some food.

Frolic your way out of this nuthouse.

There was that whole dark and stormy night thing....

Let's find a place we can get proper clothes, so we'll have a pocket to put that card in. and so we can see what this guy actually looks like

>>965316
I was thinking a deli shop but pizza works too.

>having the ability to comprehend spacetime-probability on a deep enough level to grasp how to commit these crimes
hehehehehe...

You should look for the nearest wormhole to a donut shop so that you can get entangled with a cinnamon glazed cruller.

>>965314
Wherever we go, let's make sure it has aspirin. This whole stupid affair is what headaches are made of.

>>965337
Food seems good! It's very neutral and honestly we might as well get a possible last meal that's good.

Man, whatever happened to Blackstone's Ratio? Besides, what about proportionality of punishment to crime? Your crimes were big but it sounds like they were all done to a set of specific universes, making them finite, whereas punishing all of you is punishing an infinite quantity of people and, by extension, harming the universes you came from by removing you, so in effect the court would be doing more damage than the crime did. Ad quod damnum, that's the thing. I'd wonder if you'd also get any traction from the argument they need to prove intent to harm versus lack thereof. Multiversal manslaughter is probably still viewed better than multiversal murder, as it were.

Anyway check out what you've got under that poncho robe thing. Got any pockets in there?

The court answers to noone, huh? So one of myselves was right to call the trial illegitimate!

Yeah I'm feeling Pizza. Part of me wants to game the system by thinking of 'home' and seeing what happens, but we should exploit the wonders of this place while we can.

>>965314
How about we think of a bunch of shops along the beach? That way we can be in a relaxing location and there will be other things nearby for us to go to. Including a pizza place.

Seconding clothes.

while traveling, think about whether seducing your alternate-reality selves counts as masturbation

>>965314
Have we been getting bigger? Our torso feels taller but the rest mostly the butt seems fatter?

Start traveling to find yourself.

>>965314
A walk on a boardwalk full of shops by the beach sounds nice. Could have some pizza and buy some clothes, all while enjoying the sounds of the ocean, it would be a peaceful retreat from everything. Only thing missing would be some good company, though I'm not certain this place has the capacity for that.

>>965566
Klaatu might just be a thicc boi, though there are few references for that. Might also be slouching a little less, now that he's standing and not being yelled at. Or it's all just a perspective thing.

>>965691
Are we sure Klaatu is a boy and not a girl? I’m not even sure if Klaatu‘s gender has been mentioned yet.

1/12 teegee 2020/05/07(Thu)22:50 No. 965726 ID: 891b91
File 158891700705.png - (171.44KB , 800x599 , nv1-005-01.png )

>Man, whatever happened to Blackstone's Ratio? Besides, what about proportionality of punishment to crime?
>The court answers to noone, huh? So one of myselves was right to call the trial illegitimate!
Yeah! This entire trial is just a sham! An absurdity! I'm being abused by the system!

2/12 teegee 2020/05/07(Thu)22:50 No. 965727 ID: 891b91
File 158891701583.png - (187.64KB , 800x599 , nv1-005-02.png )

...a system that is probably all-powerful and answers to no one. I'm screwed! I'm going to be stuck he're forever, I'm, I'm...

3/12 teegee 2020/05/07(Thu)22:50 No. 965728 ID: 891b91
File 158891703068.png - (223.54KB , 800x599 , nv1-005-03.png )

I gather myself together before I go to pieces again. I need to control myself, I need to get this condensation thing figured out so Kirk can help get me acquitted!

Now... he said to just think of somewhere to go and start walking, right? Hmm...

You know, something to eat would be really nice right now. Like pizza. Or deli sandwiches. Or donuts. And some aspirin since this whole situation is a gigantic headache.

4/12 teegee 2020/05/07(Thu)22:50 No. 965729 ID: 891b91
File 158891703937.png - (207.46KB , 800x599 , nv1-005-04.png )

>Anyway check out what you've got under that poncho robe thing. Got any pockets in there?
>Let's find a place we can get proper clothes, so we'll have a pocket to put that card in.
I've got a pocket on the inside of my poncho, that's where I put Kirk's card. But... come to think of it, this poncho is all I've got on. And it doesn't exactly cover my backside. And I'm pretty sure I have stuff back there I don't want to be flashing all over the place?

>Have we been getting bigger? Our torso feels taller but the rest mostly the butt seems fatter?
M-maybe? For all I know my body isn't done deciding which version of itself to be.

>Are we sure Klaatu is a boy and not a girl? I’m not even sure if Klaatu‘s gender has been mentioned yet.
I guess if currently I am every me to have ever me'd, then I guess that includes both male and female versions. And I guess whatever else lies between or outside of those, too. ...I suppose it's a question of which version is the, ah, strongest, but I wonder if putting some thought into it would influence the outcome there. Who knows, maybe I can pick and choose at will -- Kirk wasn't exactly forthcoming about the details on this whole condensation thing.

>think about whether seducing your alternate-reality selves counts as masturbation
I... guess so? At least as long as we're all crammed into one body.


So yeah. Some new threads would be nice.

5/12 teegee 2020/05/07(Thu)22:50 No. 965730 ID: 891b91
File 158891704772.png - (100.41KB , 800x599 , nv1-005-05.png )

I settle on envisioning a storefront by the beach, with shops where I can get pizza, donuts, sandwiches, aspirin, and clothes. I guess that's not too complex, right?

Only way to find out is to start walking, so I do that.

6/12 teegee 2020/05/07(Thu)22:50 No. 965731 ID: 891b91
File 158891705681.png - (139.25KB , 800x599 , nv1-005-06.png )

I keep walking. For a while. I don't know how long?

I'm starting to get discouraged. There's still nothing. Even those weird shapes in the distance seem like they haven't gotten closer.

What am I doing wrong? I'm thinking about the shops, the beach, how the pizza fucking tastes, the arrangement of ley lines into inverted quasiconcentric --

7/12 teegee 2020/05/07(Thu)22:51 No. 965732 ID: 891b91
File 158891706757.png - (158.55KB , 800x599 , nv1-005-07.png )

...Wait. Ley lines? When did I think of that--

8/12 teegee 2020/05/07(Thu)22:51 No. 965733 ID: 891b91
File 158891707301.png - (145.50KB , 800x599 , nv1-005-08.png )

Suddenly, the land surrounding me starts to rise -- or does the land surrounding it fall? It shoots upwards, forming an enormous hexagonal -- wait, no, septagonal -- tower beneath me.

9/12 teegee 2020/05/07(Thu)22:51 No. 965734 ID: 891b91
File 158891708328.png - (277.00KB , 800x599 , nv1-005-09.png )

I nearly stumble over when a large chunk of land shoots up behind me, forming a... building, I guess? A large doorway carves out of its side, and a sign appears above it -- I recognize the letters but it doesn't form words; it's just gibberish. The slice of pizza on the side of the sign seems to make things clear enough, though.

10/12 teegee 2020/05/07(Thu)22:51 No. 965735 ID: 891b91
File 158891709292.png - (124.61KB , 800x599 , nv1-005-10.png )

The outer half of the tower lowers by a foot or two, forming a central dias of sorts; the outer ring adjusts and slopes downwards slightly before bottoming out, at which point it remains flat until reaching the edge of the tower, at which point a glass (I guess?) wall juts upwards, forming a lip.

11/12 teegee 2020/05/07(Thu)22:51 No. 965736 ID: 891b91
File 158891710630.png - (262.38KB , 800x599 , nv1-005-11.png )

A cascade of water -- I assume -- appears in the sky suddenly, falling into the outer ring, filling it up and forming gentle waves. The water eventually overflows the basin, pouring over the lip.

12/12 teegee 2020/05/07(Thu)22:51 No. 965737 ID: 891b91
File 158891711863.png - (332.46KB , 800x599 , nv1-005-12.png )

...Well, I guess this kind of fits the description of "a storefront by the beach".

Donuts! Doughnuts! Donuts! Doughnuts!

Get some coffee too

We have money right? Or is there even anybody manning that building?

>>965737
Acquire pizza. Eat while enjoying the... wait is there any sun?

... let’s, let’s just go inside and see what’s on the menu. We can panic after we grab some food.

>> I guess if currently I am every me to have ever me'd, then I guess that includes both male and female versions. And I guess whatever else lies between or outside of those, too. ...I suppose it's a question of which version is the, ah, strongest, but I wonder if putting some thought into it would influence the outcome there. Who knows, maybe I can pick and choose at will -- Kirk wasn't exactly forthcoming about the details on this whole condensation thing.

wait, who said we had to pick only one set of genitals, why not both, eh >:3

hell, could probably coalesce bigger boobs as well, if we wanted. i know i wouldn't mind

bad news though, is that those words can't be "decrypted" with a simple Caesar cypher. we'll need some other means of interpretation

and yes, pizza is always the right choice

>>965743
No, no! The best solution is to constantly keep Klaatu in flux, because then we can bust out whatever equipment is most appropriate for the situation on-demand! It's the benefits of having everything at the same time, while not having to commit to anything!

Besides that, make the pizza have pineapples on it. See how many of your alternate selves rebel at the thought.

Eat pizza

Then begin thinking about thoughts that would get you in serious trouble.

More specifically, think about a version of yourself that would be able to think thoughts to abuse the malleable reality of this white void.

Pull that trigger NOW. If you're going to be found guilty because 'one tiny drop' of the infinitely billion versions of you can think in time-space-warpingly-crazy ways, you might as well come out swinging and counting assets.

If you can do it, you were, are, and will be guilty simultaneously and you need to assume they know that.

If you can't do that, then they've got no evidence against you anyways.

Alternatively, it's time to see if you can summon yourself for a self-makeout-session.

Might as well test those infinite variations on your goods, right?

You've got two legs, you're a male, and you're going to stick your dick in the first donut that you see.

Because openings, that reduce degrees of freedom to one, turn you on.

Yeah, let's keep everything in flux right now. And donuts are good. They got any hot jam-filled donuts?

>You've got two legs
uh, where you getting 2? We have 4 legs.

>>965758
I think they're just testing out how malleable we are.

I don't know why we'd want to give up our tauroid body shape though. That shit's sweet.

Anyway all we really need to know is we're cute and got cute boobs. Let's get some cute clothes to go with.

Also food. Probably not cute food though. That would be weird.

>>965729
>>Have we been getting bigger? Our torso feels taller but the rest mostly the butt seems fatter?
>M-maybe? For all I know my body isn't done deciding which version of itself to be.
You’ve actually got the biggest butt possible. It helps you attract potential sexual partners.

And if I remember correctly, one of the judges, Jaswinder I believe is their name, seemed to be interested in wanting to see you coalesce towards someone interested in having sex. So when you’re declared innocent, maybe Jaswinder would be interested in having some fun?

>Who knows, maybe I can pick and choose at will
You don’t have to. Since you’re every version of yourself, including all genders of yourself, then that means that you’ve got both genitalia at the same time! Which currently make you a hermaphrodite.

>>965737
Go inside and acquire pizza.

>>965759
>I don't know why we'd want to give up our tauroid body shape though. That shit's sweet.
I agree, don’t get rid of 2 of our legs!

>>965737
This place is a bit extra, isn't it?
Whatever. Acquire food and medication for your peace and pleasure.
Also, come to realize that due to being an amalgamation of all possible selves, this is the best you possible. So that's nice.

> the arrangement of ley lines into inverted quasiconcentric --

Som bad news, we're probably guilty huh.

>>965763
Not necessarily. Ley lines can play a part in multiple systems. This could simply be familiar to a number of instances from similar situations.

>>965765
Including the fact that geometric shapes make for the best sort of things. Regardless we shouldn't worry so much lest we panic ourselves.

You look good the way you are, with four legs, a thin frame, a nice bit of junk in your trunk, and even a petite bust from the looks of things. The poncho doesn't even look half bad on you, though if you're uncomfortable with how it leaves your rear uncovered, a wardrobe adjustment may be in your future. Your gender doesn't particularly matter at this stage, being what you are, but you don't need to change who you are so long as you're comfortable with your body. Still, you likely have the opportunity to explore yourself and experiment a bit, so maybe you should try a little while your trying on different clothes, you might find something you like.

First though, food. A slice of pizza and an old fashioned donut. Don't know how much it could actually effect your body, but watching your sugar intake is a normal and mundane thing to do, and you could probably use a little normal right now. Also, maybe try to avoid lewd thoughts about donut holes, or don't, its your choice. Just saying there is an infinite number of yous in that head of yours, so at least one of them is probably going to be thinking about it.

>>965737
Why not a donut pizzas its like a calson, dough on the outside but pizza on the inside.


Hmm so if the strongest shifts moment to moment so like if we work our the muscle mountain would be strongest if we read books the big brain iest becomes the strongest or if we binge on garbage food does the lazy lard bag come out. Would swimming mean the fish version comes to the surface and we grow like fins?

>>965772
I was thinking of a donut then how would it taste if the donut ate itself and what if each passing changes the flavour and due to the infinate loop it regenerates when it loops onto itself. What would a pizza taste like if it tries to eat itself we already knows how it tastes when pizza tries to eat you back thats pineapple pizza.
Wait on lewd thoughts i am unsure if we have openings other then tear ducts

Hmm. I wonder if different versions of you could even be different species? Different races, different related species maybe, forks in the evolutionary line? Hmm. Well, that leyline stuff suggests it's something related to magic or some such. Maybe you've got some druids in you. That poncho is SORT OF a robe. What's your opinion on mistletoe? Sickles? The spirits of the forest? Plants? Animals? Shapeshifting? If you were mostly some druidy thing you probably have things pretty broad on the sex front. Nature and fertility and drawing huge genitals on the landscape with earth and stone. Yeah, if magic's on the table, I can see you as a switcher. Or both at once.

Whats hotter then the theories of if a opening is two holes or one and the thought that a human could be narrowed down into a single disc with 7 holes by the definition of a opening that is a tube. Nothing revs me up like headache inducing science like the speed of darkness.
>>965745
We can never be felled if we live in constant flux lets get emotionally and physically unstable first we need to love pineapple then hate it then we need to swim then we need to become a dude bro for a while before going on the most feminine shopping trip possible then dress in shorts and Wresle pancake crocodiles

>>965817
Reminds me there must be a caveman version of us

1/2 teegee 2020/05/09(Sat)02:46 No. 965924 ID: 891b91
File 158901757552.png - (159.88KB , 800x599 , nv1-006-1.png )

>We have money right?
All I have on me is my poncho and Kirk's card. Is money even a thing here?

>Or is there even anybody manning that building?
I don't know! There'd have to be someone, right?

>Eat while enjoying the... wait is there any sun?
Nope, just the blank white sky and those weird shapes in the distance. And the waterfalls, now. But no sun.

>And if I remember correctly, one of the judges, Jaswinder I believe is their name, seemed to be interested in wanting to see you coalesce towards someone interested in having sex. So when you’re declared innocent, maybe Jaswinder would be interested in having some fun?
That's assuming I want to have fun with him! And uh, considering that he's playing an active role in my persecution, I can't say I feel much like it!

>This place is a bit extra, isn't it?
I'm still not 100 percent sure what this place is!

>Also, come to realize that due to being an amalgamation of all possible selves, this is the best you possible. So that's nice.
I'm not sure existentially strongest necessarily means best. If those judges are right about me, then this could be the worst me possible! Assuming any of this even works that way at all.

>Som bad news, we're probably guilty huh.
>Not necessarily. Ley lines can play a part in multiple systems. This could simply be familiar to a number of instances from similar situations.
>Well, that leyline stuff suggests it's something related to magic or some such.
I... don't think that ley line stuff was me at all? Maybe?? It was like... a thought was pushed into my head?

>Whats hotter then the theories of if a opening is two holes or one and the thought that a human could be narrowed down into a single disc with 7 holes by the definition of a opening that is a tube. Nothing revs me up like headache inducing science like the speed of darkness.
>headache inducing
Boy is it ever.

-

The whole question of what kind of junk I have, or should have, feels oddly overwhelming once I realize the sheer possibilities that lay before me. The idea of leaving it all in a state of flux and having, uh, "on-demand" genitals -- assuming I can even do that -- seems strangely appealing... Then again, so does using my penis as a donut storage rack, so I think I'll defer any serious exploration of the subject until after I've gotten something in my stomach.

2/2 teegee 2020/05/09(Sat)02:46 No. 965925 ID: 891b91
File 158901760237.png - (253.58KB , 800x599 , nv1-006-2.png )

Pizza sounds good -- I decide to head through the pizza doorway, debating with myself the merits of pineapple on pizza. (Anchovies are better!)

...I come face-to-face with a long, dark hallway. Unnaturally dark, even -- it's like there's a wall of shadow just several feet ahead of me.

This was not what I anticipated.

just shut your eyes as you proceed, it won't be as dark.

Why yes, it would most definitely be dark if this was a one-way multidimensional passage since it would not emit any light due to being an ideal black body. Or it could just be that someone forgot to turn on the lights.

That said, you should proceed into the darkness. Backwards.

>>965927
>That said, you should proceed into the darkness. Backwards.

Even better, moonwalk as you proceed.

>>965928
yes, make sure to show off your Schrodinger's genitals while you do

press onward, pizza is worth (almost) any cost!

Concentrate on the pizza. Concentrate on eating a pizza. Concentrate on the ingredients of pizza. Concentrate on making the ingredients of pizza.

From yourself.

Imagine light? I mean if you made this tower(?) don't see why you can't just imagine some lights going down the hall.

1/4 (supplementary) teegee 2020/05/09(Sat)06:30 No. 965936 ID: 891b91
File 158903103825.png - (154.89KB , 800x599 , nv1-007-1.png )

I meant to address several things in the previous update, but completely forgot to do so, so I'm making this supplementary update. For the next update, I will be considering suggestions made in response to both the previous update (1-006) and this update (1-007).

...I take a step back from the doorway, unsure just yet about whether to venture further. I think I'll turn my attention to something else for a few minutes while I try to muster the guts to walk into the darkness.

>Alternatively, it's time to see if you can summon yourself for a self-makeout-session.
M-makeout stuff aside, if all of the me's are condensed into this body, then I guess it'd be more of a splitting than a summoning.

For the sake of figuring out exactly what I can and can't do in this place, I decide to give it a shot. I try to focus my thoughts on a specific... feeling about something that feels in conflict with the rest of myself -- aha! There is this vague feeling that entire slices of pineapple is the best way to have pineapple on pizza -- a thought from which the rest of my being recoils in disgust. I take that feeling, and I try to push it out of myself, to make it not-me.

I can feel it! I feel it... working!

2/4 (supplementary) teegee 2020/05/09(Sat)06:31 No. 965937 ID: 891b91
File 158903106619.png - (131.67KB , 800x599 , nv1-007-2.png )

With a loud clap, I crash back into myself. I feel a bit disoriented now, but no worse for wear, I think. It felt like I bounced off of some kind of barrier and got pushed back together?

3/4 (supplementary) teegee 2020/05/09(Sat)06:31 No. 965938 ID: 891b91
File 158903110352.png - (127.86KB , 800x599 , nv1-007-3.png )

>Then begin thinking about thoughts that would get you in serious trouble.
>More specifically, think about a version of yourself that would be able to think thoughts to abuse the malleable reality of this white void.
>Pull that trigger NOW. If you're going to be found guilty because 'one tiny drop' of the infinitely billion versions of you can think in time-space-warpingly-crazy ways, you might as well come out swinging and counting assets.

Could I really be capable of that? I... I guess there's only one way to find out, right? ...But do I want to know? I guess Kirk did say that if it's there it'd show up anyway, so maybe it's best to, uh, rip off the band-aid, so to speak??

I'll start small. I hold my hand out and shut my eyes, trying to focus my thoughts on whether there is a version of me in here that could... do something to the space around my hand. That could make a change, that could edit reality somehow...

4/4 (supplementary) teegee 2020/05/09(Sat)06:32 No. 965939 ID: 891b91
File 158903112555.png - (77.91KB , 800x599 , nv1-007-4.png )

I stand there for several minutes, straining myself and tensing all my muscles in an attempt to force some change... I feel it slipping, it feels more and more impossible, like I'm just grasping at an illusion, I'm --

I feel something light settle into my palm. I nearly drop it out of shock -- but I collect myself and open my eyes.

...It's a cube?

Anything special about the cube or is it just a cube block? Can you make the cube glow to light your way down the hallway?

Ask the cube what it thinks about donuts, shake it, and then roll it on the floor.

Pet the cube

See if you can make the cube shine. That way it'll provide light upon entering!

Try to recreate the Gamecube logo with it

>>965939
This is now Best Cube we should keep it with us at all times.

>>965939
Okay, sure, but your crimes are far worse than making a small cube in a place that's designed to be customizable.

>>965925
Eh, just go on in. This place should be completely safe. I think the worst possibility is that there's literally nothing in there and you wind up being forced to make a new location.

Probably a placeholder object. At least you know it's possible now.
Head on into that shadow. There was nothing here a moment ago, surely nothing harmful has filled the space.

>>965937
>It felt like I bounced off of some kind of barrier and got pushed back together?
That's most likely a security feature built into this place. The judges wanted all versions of you here, so it makes sense that you'd be prevented from splitting yourself apart. It's probably a way to prevent the guilty versions of you from splitting off and running away, leaving behind all of the innocent versions of you to get blamed for the crimes.

>>965939
Now try to make a light.

Voice came from... outside of you?

Huh. That shouldn’t be possible in this place. Make a note of it as Significant and something to ask about later.

>>965939
Ah, the companion cube.

Make a companion out of it.

>>965975
Is that not what they would want it would be pretty easy to find only that onecif there are only two

>>965925
Get your thicc butt in there and get you some pizza! And maybe some ice cream later. Ice cream always makes you feel better!

>>965978
If the judges wanted that, then wouldn't they have only gathered up all of the guilty versions of us in the first place?

Thought: What if you're being framed? Maybe you're capable of these crimes, some parts of you, but that just made you a potential scapegoat? Maybe someone else did the crimes and made it look like it might have been you. Or maybe the parts of you that did do it were forced, like just used as a battery in a machine or something. In that case, pushing to see if you're capable of this stuff could just be playing into their hands.

Heck, the judges or whoever works for them collapsed you, right? That proves they could do those crimes, at least some of them, since removing you from your original timelines would alter the course of those timelines and thereby could de-parallelize them or divert them or reduce possibilities and so on. Like, if two alternate timelines are diverged from some version of you's actions, then removing you removes the divergence and collapses them. Or if a version of you's existence is the common point between two parallel universes then removing you means they no longer connect. And et cetera.

Anyway while you can store donuts on your dick, they are one of relatively few foodstuffs that could be, the other being... bagels? And... I'm sure there are other ring and hoop shaped things, BUT the alternative also gives you a convenient place to keep food! I mean, not spicy food, but same with the dick. And the dick can't hold bottles, so what will you do for a drink? You'll get thirsty! Best is to just keep your options open. If I were you I'd be more concerned for how long your arms are in relation to how far back your rear is.

Oh hey, a Perfectly Generic Object. Well at least we'll be able to manufacture more of these on demand. See if there's any upper limits on how many you can produce at one time later.

For now, maybe the reason the Pizza shop seems to lead into a void is because we haven't imagined the inside of the pizza shop yet?

Try squishing the cube?

>>965924
> I... don't think that ley line stuff was me at all? Maybe?? It was like... a thought was pushed into my head?

That sounds important. Put the card against your head, and consult someone who can help you decipher that feeling.

1/3 teegee 2020/05/12(Tue)13:14 No. 966362 ID: 891b91
File 158931444668.png - (131.44KB , 800x599 , nv1-008-1.png )

>That's most likely a security feature built into this place. The judges wanted all versions of you here, so it makes sense that you'd be prevented from splitting yourself apart. It's probably a way to prevent the guilty versions of you from splitting off and running away, leaving behind all of the innocent versions of you to get blamed for the crimes.
That raises the question of if it's possible to break that security, and more importantly if I should want to break it...

>Voice came from... outside of you?
Not a voice, it was just like... a thought I didn't think. Except it was in my mind, like I had thought it.

>Huh. That shouldn’t be possible in this place. Make a note of it as Significant and something to ask about later.
>That sounds important. Put the card against your head, and consult someone who can help you decipher that feeling.
Kirk might know something about it. The only question there is whether I want to contact him about it now, or let it wait until after I've found something to eat.

>Thought: What if you're being framed? Maybe you're capable of these crimes, some parts of you, but that just made you a potential scapegoat? Maybe someone else did the crimes and made it look like it might have been you. Or maybe the parts of you that did do it were forced, like just used as a battery in a machine or something. In that case, pushing to see if you're capable of this stuff could just be playing into their hands.
I feel like I don't really have a choice here. Either I push this condensation thing forward and I risk being found guilty for any number of reasons, or I drag my heels on it and piss off the court, whatever that might result in. Knowing more seems like it gives me better chances than knowing less.

>Heck, the judges or whoever works for them collapsed you, right? That proves they could do those crimes, at least some of them
If that's the case, then I'm screwed no matter what I do!

>Anyway while you can store donuts on your dick, they are one of relatively few foodstuffs that could be, the other being... bagels? And... I'm sure there are other ring and hoop shaped things, BUT the alternative also gives you a convenient place to keep food! I mean, not spicy food, but same with the dick. And the dick can't hold bottles, so what will you do for a drink? You'll get thirsty! Best is to just keep your options open.
Whichever version of me decided to start thinking about using my genitals to carry stuff -- I wish you hadn't!

>If I were you I'd be more concerned for how long your arms are in relation to how far back your rear is.
I have a prehensile tail, you know. It's not as good as a hand but it can pretty much reach anywhere my arms can't.

-

I give the cube a tentative squeeze, rotating it in my hands; every side is the same: flat, grey, nondescript. It's light, but pretty firm, maybe with a tiny amount of give -- but still mostly firm. Nothing about it really stands out beside that, and I'm not really sure what to make of its sudden apperance. Did I make it? Summon it? Something else?

I try to will it into lighting up, but it doesn't respond. Lights don't appear in the tunnel when I try to conjure them, either. Whatever the mechanics are for manipulating reality here, they escape me. I even try petting the cube -- if it's sentient and likes it, it isn't letting me know.

>Gamecube logo
I don't know what that is.

2/3 teegee 2020/05/12(Tue)13:15 No. 966365 ID: 891b91
File 158931455085.png - (183.30KB , 800x599 , nv1-008-2.png )

>Ask the cube what it thinks about donuts, shake it, and then roll it on the floor.
What the hell -- it won't accomplish anything, but I'll give it a try. "What's your opinion of donuts, O cube?" I ask with all the pomp deserving of a weird extradimensional cube, before unceremoniously tossing it on the ground like a large die. It bounces a few feet away from me before coming to a stop.

3/3 teegee 2020/05/12(Tue)13:16 No. 966366 ID: 891b91
File 158931457211.png - (124.40KB , 800x599 , nv1-008-3.png )

It lands hole-side up.

Retrieve ye cube. Then just go inside the store. Maybe the lights will come on when you go inside?

Stick your [] in it

>>966362
>every side is the same: flat, grey, nondescript.
>>966366
>It lands hole-side up.
Uh, that’s not right. There wasn’t a hole on it before!

Check the hole in the cube. Might have something inside, might be the right texture to put your dick in, who knows?
Its a mystery cube!

>>966366
Stick your dick in it.
Actually maybe you should examine it a bit more closely first. Who knows where the hole leads... or does that make the lewd idea more appealing?

The only correct way to inspect this hole is with a dick. Which we obviously have because the situation demands it.

This is because either this cube is telling us that donuts have holes, or it's trying to communicate with us through our dick. (This is perfectly logical and totally not a black-and-white fallacy)

If that doesn't work, then I suppose we'll have to ask the cube some other questions. Well, after entering one of those passages.

Someone's going to walk in on you with you putting your duck inside a cube, I just know it.

>>966366
Its like a donut i dont know if i want to stick our genitals in it or eat it? Lets start by fingering it so we can figure out the hole

look into the hole first

then stick in a finger

then stick your dick in it >:3

(sigh) at this point I'm going to suggest going into the damn building and getting lunch just to stop hear what you should stick your schillingers slong into. It's getting really tedious.

>>966408 It seems that we are a menace to society, but not because of any fancy multiverse math. We're just such a massive pervert that it warps spacetime.

>>966412
Perversion is just such a natural state for us all..

Also however. Still feeling peckish! Just pick it up, and head inside. Lets get some food going at least!

Go inside the hole.

>>966366
I think that's an approval of donuts. Forget all other nonsense related to this cube, except bringing it with you, and just go get ye donuts.

Just go inside and get some food.

>>966366
the cube sates that I I AM. i obzerve therefore i am. i's perpus is to perplex thoes who think thay knwo it's perpus
and people who lie about knowing it...

the best corse of action is to ignore it and go around it, get distracted by something elt's

1/6 teegee 2020/05/13(Wed)16:01 No. 966529 ID: 891b91
File 158941089773.png - (113.59KB , 800x599 , nv1-009-1.png )

...Wait, the cube didn't have a hole in it before! Is this... its answer to the question, somehow? Or did it get a hole for some other reason? Was the hole somehow always there and I just didn't see it?

I pick the thing up, rolling it in my hands. I peer into the hole -- it's too dark to see inside it clearly, no matter how I rotate it.

2/6 teegee 2020/05/13(Wed)16:01 No. 966530 ID: 891b91
File 158941090339.png - (99.87KB , 800x599 , nv1-009-2.png )

Hesitantly, I probe the hole with a finger, expecting to feel the inside edge of the cube -- but my knuckle bottoms out without meeting any resistance. I try my tail next... I get it deeper in, but eventually it becomes too wide for the hole. Alarmingly, the hole seems impossibly deep.

...It occurs to me that I have another appendage that might be able to, ah, explore the hole deeper, but... I think I'm gonna decline to try that for now. I already tried my luck with my finger and tail -- I'd rather not be the guy who lost his dong to an extradimensional cube of mysterious origin. Even though some absurdly horny contingent of me's apparently really like the idea of taking that risk! This cube isn't a donut you weirdos! (And putting our dick in a donut is weird too!)

>Go inside the hole.
It's way too small for that!

3/6 teegee 2020/05/13(Wed)16:01 No. 966531 ID: 891b91
File 158941091109.png - (239.61KB , 800x599 , nv1-009-3.png )

I guess I'll keep the cube for now. I stare at the dark passage beside me. I feel really uneasy about going in there, but... I'm getting hungrier by the minute.

>Maybe the lights will come on when you go inside!
Y-yeah! I bet that's it! I'll just, uh, venture on in then...

4/6 teegee 2020/05/13(Wed)16:02 No. 966532 ID: 891b91
File 158941092121.png - (395.98KB , 800x599 , nv1-009-4.png )

The lights did not come on.

5/6 teegee 2020/05/13(Wed)16:02 No. 966533 ID: 891b91
File 158941093233.png - (123.93KB , 800x599 , nv1-009-5.png )

I take a deep breath to steel my nerves, and start heading deeper into the passage. I pause occasionally to look back at the entrance, both to gauge how far I've gone and to get a reassuring look at the light outside. As it gets darker, I hug the wall to make sure I don't get turned around.

6/6 teegee 2020/05/13(Wed)16:02 No. 966534 ID: 891b91
File 158941094584.png - (74.76KB , 800x599 , nv1-009-6.png )

I don't know how far I've gone. This tunnel is longer than it has any right being -- by now I should've reached the other side of the building! I check behind me to see how far I am from the entrance.

...I don't see the entrance. It's just pitch black. All around me.

At least I'm beside the -- wait where did the wall go I can't find the wall what is happening

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWUmfJZg5Uk

It's not like there was anything out there to miss. Just keep moving forward, thinking about where you want to go.

Do not panic! This dimensional thing seems to rely entirely upon thought. I need to focus but we should simply try and think about things. That was what was described to us after-all.

>>966534
Maybe it's time to create another place.
Think of the INSIDE of a pizza shop.

foiled

Think about inverting this space.

huh, maybe we only made the outside of the building and everything else is blank. I guess try thinking what you'd think the inside of a pizza place would look like... or just imagine a food court at a mall if you want to add a donut place and a clothing store like you were thinking of earlier thought if you want to keep things simple start with the pizza joint interior.

>>966534
Scream in frustration, “I just wanted some fucking pizza! Is that too much to ask for?!”

If imagining your destination and trying to go there isn't working, I think you officially need help. Try the card.

>>966530 Should have expected that.

The problem here, is that we looked at the tunnel and thought "scary tunnel I can't see the end of", so it became a scary tunnel that we can't find the end of.
We should have put more work into expecting a pizza shop.
Better late than never, start thinking about a pizza shop. Think about all the details a pizza shop should have.

Enhance knockers
... until you can find the door.

Realize you are now basically in that cube.

1/3 teegee 2020/06/01(Mon)01:51 No. 968674 ID: 3994a2
File 159100147966.png - (44.89KB , 800x599 , nv1-010-1.png )

Okay, okay, don't panic... I just forgot to actually imagine the pizza joint, right? I--I just need to visualize it.

So what does a pizza restaurant have? There's a lobby, right? And a counter where you pick up the food, and a kitchen and ovens...

2/3 teegee 2020/06/01(Mon)01:51 No. 968675 ID: 3994a2
File 159100148999.png - (80.96KB , 800x599 , nv1-010-2.png )

A deep, shuddering sound accompanies the appearance of lights in the distance -- all focused on a building! I don't even care if it isn't the pizza place, I just need to get out of this darkness! I start walking towards it at a brisk pace, hoping to close the distance quickly.

3/3 teegee 2020/06/01(Mon)01:51 No. 968676 ID: 3994a2
File 159100149411.png - (70.52KB , 800x599 , nv1-010-3.png )

... I hear a rustling noise behind me.

Imagine a fleashlight

Sillydrake 2020/06/01(Mon)03:25 No. 968682 ID: cdabe3
File 159100711062.jpg - (108.28KB , 1125x2182 , 439FC69C-5DAB-464C-AAB4-C20C8C9DCB47.jpg )

OwO who dis

oh you're not alone... wait how is that possible this whole dimension was made pretty much just for you and all the yous that make up you. So unless their is a piece of you that somehow fell off or someone else from the court has come to say hi then their shouldn't be anyone besides you in here.

Oh and maybe head towards the light a little quicker then would you?

Don't turn around, but simply ask a few questions, such as "This is your fault, isn't it?", "Are you here to help?" and "What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

>>968676
Yeah, nah.
Bolt like your ass is on fire.

>>968676 This could just be the outside unhappening, there is now a new 'thing' and the outside 'thing' is no longer relevant and so is not maintained.
>>968682 Why would you put such thoughts in our head like that? Do you hate us? Whatever, I'm sure that thing is quite friendly, its lack of apparent lack of mouth has just left it misunderstood and sad.

Just act natural. Walk to the building like nobodys around.

>>968676
You imagined a monster, didn't you?
Fucking book it.

We need to head towards the light.. Quickly but not in a run.

>>968682
(possable beak, passable tailfeathers, long neck ,ˡᵒⁿᵍ ᵈᶦᶜᵏ...?
is that a bird person?

h-hi?

>>968676
Oh man, what a relief. It's the pizza guy.

You made sure to imagine that place big enough to fit inside, right?

>>968724
I have no clue to me it just looks like a pussy and i assume asshole? So the long thing is a tail? Are we standing behind ourself? Or did we manage to do the split?

>>968725
That actually MAKES SENSE a pizza place without a pizza guy is just a kitchen you have no idea how to use so we must have made someone to make pizza but we did not have a solid idea for how he would look so its the pizza place issue again

1/5 teegee 2020/06/20(Sat)17:38 No. 970163 ID: 3994a2
File 159269993898.png - (128.90KB , 800x599 , nv1-011-1.png )

...I see it. Just barely.

There's a thing here in the darkness with me! It stands there, motionless.

>oh you're not alone... wait how is that possible this whole dimension was made pretty much just for you and all the yous that make up you. So unless their is a piece of you that somehow fell off or someone else from the court has come to say hi then their shouldn't be anyone besides you in here.
Didn't Kirk say there were hundreds of people stuck in this universe? Maybe this thing is one of them?

>Oh man, what a relief. It's the pizza guy.
That is NOT my idea of a pizza guy!

"...Hi?" I watch the figure for any reaction. "Are you here to help me?"

It doesn't respond.

2/5 teegee 2020/06/20(Sat)17:39 No. 970164 ID: 3994a2
File 159269994930.png - (109.78KB , 800x599 , nv1-011-2.png )

Somehow its lack of response unnerves me more than anything else, so I decide it's best to get a move on.

The rustling continues behind me. It's following me.

I up the pace a bit, and rustling gets faster.

Chasing. It's chasing me!

>You imagined a monster, didn't you?
I--I don't know! I don't think I did!

>(possable beak, passable tailfeathers, long neck ,ˡᵒⁿᵍ ᵈᶦᶜᵏ...?
>is that a bird person?
I have no clue what the hell it is! And I don't want to think about its genitals!

3/5 teegee 2020/06/20(Sat)17:39 No. 970165 ID: 3994a2
File 159269995795.png - (170.97KB , 800x599 , nv1-011-3.png )

I break out into a full gallop -- the thing can smell my fear, it charges after me!

I run as fast as my feet can take me, desperately trying to close the gap between me and the building ahead!

The thing lets out a horrifying, guttural noise in its furor to reach me, -- an unimaginable roar like a giant, rusted-out machine grinding itself to dust!

The building still seems so far away, I can feel the thing closing in on me, I'm not going to make, it, I'm not --

4/5 teegee 2020/06/20(Sat)17:39 No. 970166 ID: 3994a2
File 159269996908.png - (213.74KB , 800x599 , nv1-011-4.png )

At what feels like the last possible moment, I finally break into the almost blinding light of the clearing. I whirl around to catch sight of my pursuer -- I see nothing.

But I hear it. It's out there, at the edge of the darkness, rustling and waiting for me. I guess it doesn't like the light.

5/5 teegee 2020/06/20(Sat)17:39 No. 970167 ID: 3994a2
File 159269997564.png - (239.89KB , 800x599 , nv1-011-5.png )

Be that as it may, I'd prefer to have a solid wall between that thing and me, so I head through the double door leading inside the building.

The place is laid out like a restaurant, maybe a fast food joint -- littered with tables and chairs, all empty, and a counter up front. There's a conspicuous lack of any signage or a menu, though. In fact, the whole place seems barren, like it was just built but still isn't open for business.

Despite that, there's someone at the counter ahead, on the customers' side. They're standing there -- I guess waiting for service? -- humming to themselves cheerfully and fidgeting a bit, like an impatient kid.

I'm not sure whether I should just queue up behind them or try to strike up a conversation while we wait. Or maybe I should just explore instead? Who knows if this place is actually a restaurant, so maybe treating it like one isn't the right idea.

Scrounge in the trash can for items. It's not really a garbage can, so who knows what it contains?

Don't be rude, go say hi!

>>970167
Go say hello. Ask if it's normal for there to be monsters in the dark.

leave the customer alone in her own little world, talking to strangers randomly is weird and rude especially one who is busy practicing their vocals.

just wait in line and looks at what is on the menu... (then find out that it is one of those damn menus that plays an ad every 3 seconds while you are in the middle of deciding what to order and it doesn't let you see the menu for an entire minute until the ad ends.)

ask what's on the menu

Say hi. Ask what she's doing. Queue up behind her.

>Didn't Kirk say there were hundreds of people stuck in this universe?
Oh, I thought they would each be in their own separate void without interacting with each other. Indeed, this prison seems rather... insecure considering the prisoners are free to kill each other. Strange that Kirk forgot to mention this.

Anyway, queue up behind them. You can talk to them after you're done ordering your stuff, that is, ask them if you can sit with them at their table. Assuming they don't talk to you first.

>>970170
Seems good.

>>970171
Just to add, see if they have ketchup flavored ice cream or milkshakes.

>>970167
it's... not faceing you...
prosede, with cotion.

Say hello.

1/11 teegee 2020/06/30(Tue)17:55 No. 971113 ID: 3994a2
File 159356494439.png - (179.20KB , 800x599 , nv1-012-01.png )

Ignoring the customer for now, I decide to see what I can find in the trash. I stick my arm in and root around a bit, but I can't feel anything.

2/11 teegee 2020/06/30(Tue)17:55 No. 971114 ID: 3994a2
File 159356495224.png - (1.03MB , 800x599 , nv1-012-02.png )

I bend down and have a look inside.

So, uh. That's something.

3/11 teegee 2020/06/30(Tue)17:55 No. 971115 ID: 3994a2
File 159356495743.png - (193.33KB , 800x599 , nv1-012-03.png )

> Oh, I thought they would each be in their own separate void without interacting with each other. Indeed, this prison seems rather... insecure considering the prisoners are free to kill each other. Strange that Kirk forgot to mention this.
I doubt keeping the prisoners safe from each other is... high on the court's list of priorities.

I think I'll leave the strange trash can dimension to consider later and just uh, get in line? The customer doesn't seem to notice me -- she just keeps humming and rocking back and forth.

And that's it, nothing else happens for however long I've been standing here. I'm getting tired of waiting.

"Uh, hello?" She stops humming and turns in place to face me, which I take as a cue to continue. "Sorry, but do you know what--"

4/11 teegee 2020/06/30(Tue)17:56 No. 971116 ID: 3994a2
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"Shhhhhh!"

5/11 teegee 2020/06/30(Tue)17:56 No. 971117 ID: 3994a2
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I push her hand away -- well, I assume it's hers, despite not being visibly connected to her.

"Listen, I just want to know--"

6/11 teegee 2020/06/30(Tue)17:56 No. 971118 ID: 3994a2
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"Shhhhshhhshshshhhhh!"

7/11 teegee 2020/06/30(Tue)17:56 No. 971119 ID: 3994a2
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She continues in a hushed whisper. "You gonna scare it away, bump!" She points towards the rear of the building. "Looooooooook."

10/11 teegee 2020/06/30(Tue)17:56 No. 971122 ID: 3994a2
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phllurbpt

11/11 teegee 2020/06/30(Tue)17:57 No. 971123 ID: 3994a2
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She rushes over to the table. "Aww yeh, anchovy!" She immediately begins stuffing a large slice in her mouth, then motions me over. "You hungry, bump?" She asks through a mouthful of the stuff.

"What... what the hell was that thing?" I ask, finally breaking through my shock.

"Pizza guy!"

That may be a pizza guy, but it ain't your pizza guy. You're pizza guy definitely followed sanitary procedures a lot better.

Still, don't be rude. Have a slice

Gah! Anchovy! The Devils taste in pizza form! Get it away get it away!

>>971118
Where did the tentacle come from...?

>>971123
Consume pizza. Anchovy is fine. You can take them off if your selves are collectively picky.
Ask your questions. Like, why was there something in the darkness chasing you? Why is there darkness at all? It seemed like you were supposed to create everything on the fly, but now it seems like this place keeps some things from previous or current occupants and connects places together at arbitrary points, possibly when nobody's looking... like some kind of quantum dream space.
Also what's her deal? Is she awaiting trial, like you? Is the pizza guy a construct or a person?

>>971123
...Y'know what? Fuck it. Eat a piece o' pizza.
You could be erased or imprisoned forever soon, so enjoy what you can.

Whadda cutie.

Say yes, and thank you. If she is actually offering you a piece and not just asking, move the anchovies onto her pieces so she has more and also because anchovies are gross but don't say that. I guess that's the form a pizza guy takes when mushed together from all possible forms of pizza guy across the multiverse? Just a general mushed-up blob save for the one defining capability to "make pizza"? Makes sense.

Ask what she's in for.

so uh... ask her if she can tell you anything about this place you're in... and I guess this world in general. We're all kinda just running around blindly.

And maybe whatever that thing outside was... maybe.

First, pizza time. Then, enter trashland.

But Klaatu likes anchovies. Take a slice.

Pizza guy! Told ya one'd be around.

>>971122
That's disgusting, disturbing and... vaguely appetizing?

Oh dear. You ARE rather hungry.

Well... when in Rome! Grab a slice and nibble.

"So... who do I have the pleasure of lunching with and what casual crimes against existence have you, allegedly, committed?"

>>971123
Can’t we get our own pizza? With stuffed crust?

Yeah I feel like something is seriously wrong here between the...darkness thing, and the weird ass pizza guy, I don't think any of us think that's normal? So...I have a few theories,
1:This place has been sabotaged by someone who CAN do that,
2:Someone other than us is here and messing with it (Alternatively 1-b)
3:There's something up with our collective brainmeats causeing weird shit, like us suddenly having leylines in our head.
4:This place...broke, somehow, probably least likely but technically possible?

It's pizza. Eat the pizza.

>>971121
It looks like the thing that was outside but pizza?

>>971123
MOVE AWAY THAT FISH FROM OUR SLICES REMOVE THE DISGUSTING THINGS THEY ARE TOXIC THEY WILL SLOWLY KILL US WITH MERCURY. I EAT PINEAPPLE BUT NOT THE FISH AND SPINE WITH THE HEADS. FISH SPINES STUCK IN YOUR THROAT jagged shard lodged into flesh. Like cat wiskers stuck in mouth or throat. They are going extinct. There are too many fish. This is worse then pineapple but moving the fish to that thing would make it happy. Also is not pizza guy hot. Warm body hope its not searing hot hmm does it feel pain? Also free food yay

Eat only the middle of the pizza and leave the crust.

>>971280
>Pineapple
You have no room to talk.

>>971296
I have room to talk its bad when someone rather eat pineapple then that shit

>>971333
At least anchovy doesn't digest you back.