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File 155771682970.png - (775.54KB , 1200x1000 , mom.png )
932632 No. 932632 ID: f5fee9

I just couldn't stay away~♥

so... how about a lewd story about a kobold?
154 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 937270 ID: f2320a

>>937204
Oh Pharnox i will help you get some wood~
>>
No. 937274 ID: a9af05

>>937204
Go help gather firewood.

>>937234
>Help us continue to hide
Maybe we should puff up just a little more, to make absolutely sure we don't accidentally fall out?
>>
No. 937282 ID: 3674e7

If we try helping set up tents that we don’t know anything about we’ll be a hindrance. We probably know nothing of cooking so we can’t help with that. We have never fought before so we can’t Gard. So lets help get wood it’s the easiest job and one we could do with minimal help.
At the same time we should wiggle in deeper, let’s see how far we can go.
>>
No. 937328 ID: 067fb7

Help with the firewood. He both seems the most worth keeping around and the most stable of the bunch.
>>
No. 937373 ID: ac46b0

HELP THAT ELF
GET THAT WOOD
>>
No. 937868 ID: f539b7

Help him get firewood.
>>937282
>>937274
Go deeper (as deep as we can) then puff up again/more.
>>
No. 938001 ID: f5fee9
File 156209886919.jpg - (132.47KB , 1200x1000 , inside pussy lol.jpg )
938001

Shub - Participate or you are an object to them. Help with the firewood. He both seems the most worth keeping around and the most stable of the bunch.

Neeral - I'll help collect fire wood~

Barkus - you're not strong enough to break wood apart, little runt! you'll be useless gathering firewood.

Pharnax - nonesense Bark~ her little hands are perfect for gathering kindling. and shes so low to the ground she'll spot things I wont~

Barkus - *grunmbles* fine, if you care her help, so be it.

Pharnax - hmnp... don't worry little one, bark is a curmudgeon... come along, you can pick up herbs and mushrooms while we gather firewood and kindling~

>She wanders with him for a bit.

Shub - Maybe we should puff up just a little more, to make absolutely sure we don't accidentally fall out?

Neeral - pardon?

Shub - [puffs up more]

Neeral - aahhh! nnngggg~❤ sh-shub you're... ahhh❤

Shub - we should wiggle in deeper, let’s see how far we can go.

Neeral - n-n-no you do-dont have t-to...

Shub - [pushes up deeper into her]

Neeral - MMmaaahhh~❤!! st-stop you're... you're pushing... into my calcification... chamber aahhhh!!❤❤

>With a plop you squeeze into her inner sanctum... its very warm~

Neeral - oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh~❤❤❤!!!

Pharnax - ???

>_ _ _
>>
No. 938003 ID: 9876c4

Inform him we're having a religious experience. Ask him if he'd like to play pray with us.
>>
No. 938005 ID: eeb7d9

Praize be Lamashtu, godess of all monsters, for this religious experience!
>>
No. 938010 ID: e20bdf

I think we just gut our sexual organs (around our "neck") in her inner chamber. Perfect position to release the content of our penis chamber.
If possible I would like to avoid releasing any egg sack. I don't thing Lamashtu's blessing would affect those and if by a miracle our incestuous self fecundated babies survive in this environment they could cause problems for Neeral or our monster child. Also it would be a waste of our precious eggs.

We should also make some "Aaahhh..." and "Yeah!" noises as as we release our load before getting limp save for the small portion holding us in this position. "I think I gonna stay here for a wile..."
>>
No. 938012 ID: 91ee5f

>>938001
Ok, that’s enough. Let’s just hold still and not cause anymore problems for Neeral right now.
>>
No. 938015 ID: a9af05

>>938010
No, don't make it weird like that.

>>938012
Yeah, I agree. We don't want her to attract too much attention to herself just yet.

The whole point of doing this was to make sure we're hidden and we've done that. Let's not do anything else for now.
>>
No. 938019 ID: 9876c4

>>938010
Let's not make it wierd, ok?
>>
No. 938026 ID: 3674e7

At most eat an egg don’t go doing... >>938010 ... that.
Also go pick up dry twigs, bark and kindling to help with the fire.
>>
No. 938034 ID: f539b7

>>938026
Maybe if we eat an egg it’ll do something. But while finding it and eating it we should be doing minimal movement and try staying as still as possible for now.
Let’s help with the kindling by gathering small dry twigs, bark and dry moss (once moss is dried it becomes great kindling becouse its very fibrous, airy and light).
>>938003
Don’t bring religion up they may have a bad reaction to hearing about it (monster religion might be assumed to be (by human standards) an evil religion and you could be attacked for it).
>>
No. 938036 ID: 58b4f3

>>938012
>>938015
>Don't do anything else.
Fine, you bunch of killjoys. We can stop moving around…after we do one last thing.

Let's puff up to the biggest possible size we can reach that won't cause harm to us or Neeral!
>>
No. 938041 ID: 4854ef

Think for now she should be allowed to be helpful, if we act too off they may think her too much of a problem eh? There'll be breaks afterwords.
>>
No. 938044 ID: e6b8d9

You liked how that felt, Neeral? 'Cause that's what it's likely gonna feel like to lay with species with longer than 'bold length penises. And that number includes a lot of species we'd want to breed with for Lamashtu's mission. So, how do you like the sound of that, Neeral?

Pharnax is lookin' over your way and wonderin' what is up. Get down and back to gatherin', cover your mouth and hold your voice and and hope he doesn't come over and ask what's what. If he does ask, then the story is that you have a condition where you occasionally spontaneously orgasm, with this time being unusually intense. If he presses for more, say you dunno what causes or triggers them. Sometimes they're clustered together, other times there's weeks between 'em, and their intensity is all over the place. But it feels good for you and wasn't causing a problem, so your old master didn't feel the need to have it investigated much. (If Pharnax buys it, then this story also gives us cover to occasionally pleasure you, Neeral.)

Did we slip all the way into Neeral's calcification chamber or just wriggled partway in? If we're more than halfway in, then we may as well go all the way in; It'll be a even better hiding spot than before. Otherwise, we'll slither back to where we were and hold there.

When Neeral is somewhere private, we'll have to test out what positions we can get into that are most pleasurable for her. Going all the way into her calcification chamber and puffing up massively? Or sould slipping halfway in, puffing up to wedge ourselves in and wiggling be better? And what would it feel like for her if we're all the way in and she has sex with a guy? I wonder if we could deflate enough to allow the cum in to impregnate her, then slip out before the eggshell starts forming. ...But what would happen if we didn't get out in time? All questions that we may answer in due time.
>>
No. 938062 ID: db8bde

Tell him you're in heat. Tell him while bent over with your loincloth and tail raised out of the way. Ask him for help so you can concentrate. Play the "this is just normal kobold behavior" card. Maybe ask him if he's capable of summoning any monsters. He looks the type.
>>
No. 938074 ID: e6b8d9

>>938062
This is risky, since he may know more about kobold biology than common knowledge. And if kobolds went into heat, then you'd think it'd be fairly likely to get into common knowledge. Plus, heat goes away only when the female is impregnated, so as far as he knows he won't be able to do that and may raise that as a counterpoint.

Also, if Neeral does go the way of angling for a dicking from Pharnax, then we're gonna have to vacate her vagina before they fuck, either by going out or by possibly deflating and going all the way into her calcification chamber. And the latter has the risk of us possibly being squished by a fairly-longer-than-kobold penis. But even if she doesn't go for Pharnax, we're gonna have to figure which way we're gonna go, since us being here gets partly in the way of Neeral having sex. If we stay, she'd have to pass on breeding opportunities where we can't be discreetly taken out and hidden.
>>
No. 938076 ID: 541b8b

>>938041 >>938015

Yeah, time and more importantly a place for shenanigans later.
We can continue exploring this little avenue of intimate research when Neeral isn't being observed. As for getting Neeral laid, let's wait till we're not in or ARE a danger zone during the act; as it is we, Neeral or her partner are likely to end up hurt. Or at the very least uncomfortable, which is also unacceptable.
>>
No. 938093 ID: f5fee9
File 156218453658.jpg - (101.90KB , 1200x1000 , sit and talk.jpg )
938093

>You are completely inside her calcification chamber.

Shub - You liked how that felt, Neeral? 'Cause that's what it's likely gonna feel like to lay with species with longer than 'bold length penises.

Neeral - oh gosh~❤ ... so intense... I cant move... mmmnnnn but I want more~❤

Shub - And that number includes a lot of species we'd want to breed with for Lamashtu's mission. So, how do you like the sound of that, Neeral?

Neeral - oh gods yes~❤

>Pharnax walks over to neeral who's lying on her back unable to move much from the intense orgasm...

Pharnax - you okay there?

Neeral - yes... I'm perfectly fine...

Pharnax - you sure? cause you were screaming and now you're paralyzed...

Neeral - I had a religious experience~❤

Pharnax - ah... a... good, religious experience?

Neeral - Simply amazing, rapturous~❤

Pharnax - that's good... and what religion gave this to you?

Neeral - I... I'd rather not say...

Pharnax - and why is that?

Neeral - I... you... you already don't trust me much... I don't want you to think I'm dangerous...

>He looks at her pensively...

Pharnax - I'm a drow... a dark elf... my god isn't a ray of sunshine either...

>He lifts his poncho revealing a scar in the shape of three daggers around a moon...

Pharnax - I don't think Calistra minds much for your choice of deity...

Neeral - I... I'm a worshiper... of... Lamashtu... is that... a problem?

Pharnax - I don't know... is it going to be?

Neeral - no sir.

Pharnax - Good~ now is there anything you need to get back to work?

>_ _ _
>>
No. 938094 ID: eeb7d9

Ehhhhh five minutes? And us not making your legs spaghetti? Other than that you should feel fine.
After that you should be able to complete you minor task, tell him not to worry.
>>
No. 938102 ID: 58ee15

I'd say a good dicking, but this guy doesn't seem to be able to get it up, so nevermind.

Ask him if he's got anything for fatigue or sore muscles. But you should be fine after a few seconds even if not.

Also, ask him what does Calistra desire him to do.
>>
No. 938106 ID: e6b8d9

Tell him a few minutes rest until and hopefully you'll be able to continue working. Ask if he'd keep nearby so you can at least talk with him while you recover, if he doesn't mind. If he agrees, ask him what Calistra's deal is and what's the attitude about Lamashtu in these parts.

Ask him what's Urist's deal with you. He seemed super spooked earlier. He got a kobold phobia or what? And also, what can you do to improve Barkus' attitude towards you, or at least not lower it farther.

Did we actually puff up enough to noticeably bulge your belly, Neeral? Yeah, that may raise unwanted questions. Better deflate while Pharnax isn't looking and hope he didn't notice. Also so we aren't giving you a continual orgasm and you can recover. [Deflate completely]

So, you ever heard about 'bold gals having such a intense orgasm they can't even move like you did, Neeral? I remember something about laying eggs being a orgasmic experience for kobold gals 'cause the passage out of the calcification chamber is sensitive. Is that true, and if true then you think it was less or more strong than what you experienced? I also heard that it's so intense 'bold gals want to get knocked up over and over to experience it again and again. Is that true?
>>
No. 938108 ID: 094652

A walking cane, some splints, and a handbasket. You'll carry the firewood in exchange.
>>
No. 938109 ID: a9af05

>>938106
>Did we actually puff up enough to noticeably bulge your belly, Neeral?
No, she's always looked like that. Look at any of the previous images like this one >>932662 and this one >>932879 and you'll see she's always been that size.
>>
No. 938119 ID: e6b8d9

>>938109
Oh, you're right. Well, later on lets work on gettin' bigger by sucking some more of her blood. Just not too big so we can't get out or in. And slowly, so we can test we don't get stuck and so Neeral doesn't suffer from losing too much blood too fast.
>>
No. 938120 ID: 4854ef

Just a moments rest or something for fatigue.

Though this is a good time for questions! Ask him about himself, and his faith if he's willing to talk. Why they've got such an interesting group going on. And if there's anything she might do to help calm down the Dwarf, poor guy seems like he's going to pass away from shock.
>>
No. 938143 ID: 58b4f3

>>938106
>[Deflate completely]
What?! Are you crazy?! No, don't do that!

This is good training for Neeral! This is to help her get used to carrying something inside of her.

Sure, we're not as big as the size of her future eggs are going to be, but our leech body is egg shaped. So we can at least help her get used to an egg shaped object inside of her, before she gets a real egg growing in here!
>>
No. 938145 ID: e6b8d9

>>938143
I only suggested we deflate because I thought being inflated would continually stimulate Neeral and prevent her from regaining muscle control, but we don't actually have proof of that. It could have been passing into her calcification chamber that slammed her with that intense orgasm and not just being in here. Or it could be a mix of the two.

So, I say we stay inflated for a few minutes to check if being puffed up in here will keep Neeral from recovering muscle control due to over-stimulation. If she can move adequately with us that way, then we'll stay inflated.
>>
No. 938178 ID: 7c1196

>>938145
idk if we even can deflate, we may just be growing. We were already beginning to mutate.
>>
No. 938240 ID: c063e9

Calistra, huh? If you're feeling up to it you might be able to make him nail you right here. Otherwise just wait and catch your breath before getting back to gathering.
>>
No. 938244 ID: e3e99e

>>938093
*Fertilize her*
>>
No. 938291 ID: 3674e7

Her
>>938120
Lay there and wait till you can stand/move again then get back to collecting the kindling. While we are might as well talk to him though while he collects stuff.

Us
Eat an “egg” then become an egg.
>>938106
Stay the same size it’ll be good practice for when she gets actually pregnant. Plus we don’t want to stimulate her further or fall out.
>>938244
Don’t fertilise her, not until later when she agrees to it.
>>
No. 938317 ID: 30f4b7

>>938291
No, we should definitely fertilize her. Its why we proposed climbing inside her in the first place.
>>
No. 938331 ID: c49ece

Ask him to give you a minute, and ask about his hat. is he a wizard?
>>
No. 938354 ID: f539b7

Eat an unfertilised egg, fertilise an egg then become an egg.
>>
No. 938358 ID: 91ee5f

>>938354
Let’s not. We’d have to dig into her body to get one of those and that would hurt her. We’re not trying to hurt her.
>>
No. 938391 ID: a9af05

>>938358
I agree with this, we don't want to hurt her.
>>
No. 940159 ID: f5fee9
File 156391151915.jpg - (102.64KB , 1200x1000 , gathering wood.jpg )
940159

>You contemplate the ups and downs of mating with Neerals sensitive innards and agree with yourself to only do it safely and harmlessly to neeral... should the opportunity arise, you'll jump on it, you agree with yourself~

Neeral - a good dicking, if you're up for it...

Pharnax - Maybe some other time little lady. I don't think Miro is in love with you per say... but He'd be might ornery if I took you before he does...

Neeral - then a few minutes to un-noodle my legs...

Pharnax - take your time. I actually only planned on you helping me carry stuff... make sure Barkus sees you with full hands when you get back, he really doesn't like slackers...

Neeral - thank you... you're... very nice~

Pharnax - we're all runaways. we've gotta stick together.

Neeral - if you dont mind me asking... whats up with Urist? he and his dog look like they've never known calm.

Pharnax - Urist was cursed by a witch as a child... he's not actually scared he's just jittery and attentive... the poor boy could never fit in with the ancient calm and tired traditions of his household so he was exiled as a failure... miro and I picked him up and let him join the runaway-5.

Neeral - and his dog?

Pharnax - its half chihuahua.

Neeral - aahhh I get it~ ... I don't get it...

>Pharnax lets you rest and continues gathering wood

Shub - So, you ever heard about 'bold gals having such a intense orgasm they can't even move like you did, Neeral?

Neeral - heard of it yeah... never had one like this though...

Shub - I remember something about laying eggs being a orgasmic experience for kobold gals 'cause the passage out of the calcification chamber is sensitive. Is that true, and if true then you think it was less or more strong than what you experienced?

Neeral - I've never laid eggs before, I've only matured a few days ago when Lamashtu blessed me.

Shub - I also heard that it's so intense 'bold gals want to get knocked up over and over to experience it again and again. Is that true?

Neeral - I... yes that makes sense... kobold clans have huge egg repositories. some kobold breeders lay eggs every three days. its important to keep the younglings flowing since kobolds die so easily, especially at a young age.

>After a few minutes shes up and running helping pharnax gather kindling and small branches.

Neeral - so! what does Calistra demand of you?

Pharnax - the queen in yellow demands her servants care not for the biased opinions of others, that I enjoy my life to my own measure and to extract merciless revenge when need be.

Neeral - that rather reasonable~

Pharnax - and what does your goddess demand of you?

Neeral - I... well... I'm slightly more blessed than the usual worshiper and she demands... tithes...

Pharnax - and those tithes being?

Neeral - euh... how to say...

Pharnax - say it clearly. Calistra does not judge, and neither do her worshipers... of you should know, Miro also worships the wasp queen.

Neeral - ah! I'm... not very surprised... Lamashtu requires I... have sex with many... different partners... in terms of species...

Pharnax - and that's why you left your home~

Neeral - that and my chieftain was going to kill me... its a win/win situation.

Pharnax - optimism is a virtue little one~

>_ _ _
>>
No. 940175 ID: 58ee15

Ask him about this wasp queen. Well, unless Miro would know more about that.

Could also ask him about the dragon bones. If they're so valuable, what does the group need the money for?
>>
No. 940269 ID: 4854ef

It is a curious question as to why they needed the dragon bones so badly that they'd invade their lair for it.
>>
No. 940275 ID: 91ee5f

>>940159
Ask what’s so special about the dragon bones? Are they worth lots of money? Are they going to eat them? Are they going to bring the dragon back to life? Turn the bones into weapons/armor? Or is there some other reason they need the dragon bones?
>>
No. 940293 ID: 513722

>>940159
well pharnax seems nice, looks like hanging out with this group might even be pleasant overall

>>940275
3 coppers says it's ground up and turned into an aphrodisiac
>>
No. 940303 ID: a9af05

>>940159
Ask about the dragon boners.
>>
No. 942713 ID: f5fee9
File 156591919592.jpg - (125.92KB , 1200x1000 , sitting on log.jpg )
942713

::personal update:: I'll be getting a new job soon so I will hopefully be posting more often. wish me luck

>Neeral brings her kindling back to the camp, to find it pretty much set up, with one large tent and one small tent erected and a stew pot readied over what will soon be a fire pit. Barkus is busy ripping the skin off a deer like creature with abnormally human hands... Neeral leaves the fire making to Pharnax and sits down with Miro.

Miro - *strums lute* A man, once confessed his love for she, but his love was not requited~ he felt no sorrow for this plight, but his friend did not recognize it~ Do you know why the man felt no sorrow?

Neeral - No I dont?

Miro - *strums* For the man only lost a woman who cared not... but the woman lost a man who loved her~

Neeral - I see...

>He strums and sings some more...

Neeral - so Miro... tell me about calistra the wasp queen.

Miro - well! she is an elf of infinite beauty, and wishes for all her kin and those they love to love and be loved irrespectively of social norms and conventional taboo~

Neeral - neat!

Miro - she is not the most widely accepted object of faith... in fact I was expelled from the bards academy for her worship...

Neeral - her worship was banned?

Miro - no... but I did take it a few steps too far...

Pharnax - and with the wrong people~

Miro - I prefer, too many people~

Pharnax - Neeral here worships Lamashtu.

Miro - Lamashtu... thats an... orcish... fertility goddess?

Neeral - something like that... yes, I am a fertility Oracle~

Miro - that sounds fun~

Neeral - it has been thus far.

Pharnax - you didnt really tell me, clearly... does your faith grant you powers?

Neeral - some... but not much right now... I think I can heal or wound people...

Miro - should prove useful if you want to follow us~

Pharnax - think about it, we could use your talents in the runaway "five"

Miro - it would also be nice to have five members of the runaway five...

Neeral - I'll consider it... I will... but in the mean time... what exactly did you want with those dragon bones?

Miro - we're gonna sell most of them, but the better pieces were gonna make into weapons~

Neeral - why do you need the money and weapons exacly?

Pharnax - we're gonna kill the Tarrask~

Miro - we're gonna help, kill the Tarrask.

Neeral - ahh... eum... okay cool?

>_ _ _
>>
No. 942722 ID: 7fb87a

>>942713
A one of a kind ancient monster of unbelievable power.


Lamashtu clearly wants you to fuck it.
>>
No. 942727 ID: 094652

I wonder if we could somehow turn those bones into sperm. Only one way to find out~~~.
>>
No. 942728 ID: 91ee5f

>>942713
Oh, that’s neat. Hey, what are we eating?

>>942722
There is no way in hell Neeral would be able to fit a Tarrask‘s dick in herself!
>>
No. 942736 ID: eeb7d9

>>942728
Nobody said it had to be in the near future~~

But i think that it is of our best interests, that is to say, Lamashtu's interests, to stop them from killing a powerful monster, that could potentially help us breed more powerful monsters.
>>
No. 942741 ID: 9876c4

Quick, nobody tell the bard he can't spell Tarrasque!
Hurry up!

>>942727
This sounds like a job for a very ribald philosophers stone.
>>
No. 942742 ID: 10c408

>>942736
I don't think this is a good idea. Not without further information to make up for how weak and unstealthy Neeral is. We have no idea if the adventurers would even be on board with monster fucking (though the bard might be convinced of it) and we don't know how safe it would be to even attempt to seduce and/or mount the tarrasque.

Start asking some questions, Neeral. We might have to ditch these clowns if we want to get anything done.
>>
No. 942746 ID: a9af05

>>942713
Let's about what we're going to eat.
>>
No. 942748 ID: 4cf79d

The Tarrask can't be killed. Do they have a way to annoy the thing enough to make it fuck off?
>>
No. 942759 ID: e6f10c

Ask him what a "Tarrask" is because you haven't even heard of it before. It sounds dangerous, that much you get.
>>
No. 942768 ID: 60af6e

Oh boy, Oracle powers go! Here's one bit where you can prove yourself by providing knowledge. First off, if its what I think it is killing it is out of your means. Its regeneration is truly absurd, and has a wide range of resistances. The best bet is to contain or imprison it, preferably with a great many powerful people assisting. Good for you all it literally has no friends, because of it being spawned by the Rough Beast. It's made enough of an ass of itself for just about every god worth mentioning to be opposed to it, so maybe you were guided to them for this reason.

Also, cuddle up to Miro as he speaks, hinting that maybe later the two of you could "discuss religion".
>>
No. 942782 ID: 8cb228

The main strength of the tarrask is that it is a giant land-bound monster, nearly impossible to kill.

The main weakness of it is that it isn't that great at range, especially if it's opponents can fly, and a VERY good wizard can set up the battlefield where it 'should' be into a trap to negate it's ability to do harm, potentially permanently, if he or she is clever enough (supposedly drowning it might work, among other obscure things).
>>
No. 942789 ID: 8cb228

Okay, some of the obscure methods to beat it could be: the wizard spell magic jar, the ability drain of the wraith or shadow or the Juju mystery of an oracle, suffocation/drowning, the eternal slumber grand hex of a witch, placing it in a plane of reality with no food for it until it starves, harpooning it with several immovable rods at once, using a helm of opposite alignment, or the divine spell polar midnight.
>>
No. 944280 ID: f5fee9
File 156762327820.jpg - (134.59KB , 1200x1000 , cut up tree.jpg )
944280

>Neeral hops up and walks over to Barkus, who is busy gutting and getting ready to skin the creature he killed... it has a body like an elk, but with a wolfs snarl and eagles wings... its deer like antlers are razor sharp, and its front legs end in human like gnarled hands... but most upsetting of all, its shadow is that of a humans... Barkus has a few new cuts along his arm and chest... some are quite deep...

Neeral - what... is it?

Barkus - Don't know... don't care... it jumped me in the Forrest, now its food.

Neeral - you killed that all on your own? Wow you're very strong!

Barkus - I've killed bigger, scarier and more fierce, this is nothing... just a savage animal.

Neeral - well, I'm very grateful... I... I really just want to say thank you for saving me from my den... and for everything really~
>>
No. 944281 ID: f5fee9
File 156762329774.jpg - (99.86KB , 1200x1000 , hand full of cock.jpg )
944281

>Barkus cuts off the creatures cock and tosses it to Neeral.

Barkus - this is all you get. don't choke on it.

Neeral - oh eum... th-thanks? [hey shub... this is... I mean... I think Barkus is trying to insult me... but this is a genuinely good gift where I'm from... its better meat than what I'm used to and nearly three times bigger than my usual meals... Should I... thank him or... am I expected to be angry at the slight? I'm not offended at all... but should I pretend to be? is that the proper thing to do?]

>_ _ _
>>
No. 944282 ID: 0efe8e

Thank him for the generous gift and then take it over to the fire to cook.
>>
No. 944283 ID: b3c4cf

He said not to choke on it. This implies that he wants to see how much stuff you can put in your mouth without choking.

So, start sucking on it I suppose.
>>
No. 944285 ID: f2320a

>>944281
Its good food its important to cook it before the blood leaks out of the cook
>>
No. 944287 ID: 0f41e2

>>944281
Yes, its probably meant as an insult.
But if it is good meat, just thank him and take it. But best skewer it on a pointy stick and grill it. That sould give him some phantom tingle in the nether region.
>>
No. 944288 ID: eeb7d9

Choosers can't be beggars! Thank him for the food and get cooking.
>>
No. 944289 ID: 9876c4

Get some wine and a saucepan.

prepare Cock au vin.
>>
No. 944294 ID: 4a9e28

>>944281
I mean, if he's trying to mess with you the 'proper' response would be to immediately swallow the whole thing raw while maintaining eye contact with him. Logistics of that aside, it'd probably cause more problems than it'd solve.

The right move here is probably just to nod without saying anything then going and enjoying your meal; thus far Barkus seems like the kind of fellow who's opinion isn't really swayed by words and will disapprove of anything he thinks is an attempt to.
>>
No. 944295 ID: 094652

I'd say stuff it in raw in front of his face, but there's diseases in all meat.

Ask for the scrotum as well. It's a monster, you never know.
>>
No. 944297 ID: e3e99e

>>944281
Be earnest.
"Is this... Is this really all for me? You're so much more generous than my old captors! Thank you for this kindness!"

Expressing honest appreciation for it, even if he's attempting to insult you, helps underscore how awful your life has been. Even if he dislikes you, he'll start to have some sympathy.
>>
No. 944503 ID: 0a7f21

If he's insulting you then he dislikes you, and will likely mistrust anything you say. Quietly thank him and then leave him alone so as not to antagonize him.
>>
No. 944505 ID: 91ee5f

>>944281
Go back and tell everyone that Barkus told you to eat a dick. At first you thought he was insulting you, but then he gave you an actual dick to eat. So now you’re going to eat this entire dick and enjoy it because this is better than any of your previous meals you’ve ever had in your entire life.
>>
No. 944535 ID: 10c408

It's probably intended as an insult and also some form of social snare

No matter what you do with it now, Barkus is going to come out ahead now that he's given it to you. Either you don't eat it (hunger) and ask for a different cut of the monster (gluttony) or you do eat it (raw, -collective opinion and you'll probably get sick) and he'll probably have more justification for not liking you (-collective opinion again)

So with all those in mind we should make him regret trying this. Ask him if you should cook it properly over the fire first and what the best way to roast it is. Do you need to squeeze the blood out first? Don't try to piss him off, just enough to put him in a bad mood that he'll do or say something in earshot that makes him look bad.
>>
No. 944547 ID: 91ee5f

I hate myself for just now noticing this, but.....

>>944280
>but most upsetting of all, its shadow is that of a humans...
Should we be concerned about the fact that this creature’s shadow looks like a human’s shadow?
>>
No. 944553 ID: 10c408

>>944547
No, because that's the shadow that belongs to barkus, as well as the tree to the left. (look at his mostly obscured feet)

I'd be more worried about the shadow in-between his and Neeral's that appears to be cast by literally nothing at all.
>>
No. 944563 ID: 91ee5f

>>944553
>No, because that's the shadow that belongs to barkus, as well as the tree to the left. (look at his mostly obscured feet)
No, it’s not Barkus’ shadow. And I know his is right next to the tree, but that’s not the shadow I’m talking about.

>I'd be more worried about the shadow in-between his and Neeral's that appears to be cast by literally nothing at all.
That’s the shadow I’m talking about. It’s the shadow of the creature that Barkus has hung on the tree branch.

Why does that creature have a human looking shadow, when it doesn’t look human at all?
>>
No. 944580 ID: f2320a

>>944563
The shadow most often reveal a being true form
>>944535
Lets ask so we can cook cock the right way its important too be well fed and fattened to really crank out quality monsters malnutrision leads to weaker babies and lower fertility
>>
No. 944643 ID: a29e83

>>944281

Cook the cock!

More specifically drive a stick (or Milo's rapier if you can get him to give it you) through the urethra and out the other end.
Then roast it over the fire till done.

Doing all that while glaring at Barkus should get the point across.

alternatively we could just grovel in thanks and play up the submissive harlot role he is probably expecting.

Also for all future cross species interactions i propose we put intent over reality. IE. pretend to get mad even though its better then you usually get.
>>
No. 944648 ID: 25554f

>>944643
Could make it so they continue acting like that and we act like its a punishment when its a reward would be nice
>>
No. 944737 ID: 32b5ec

>>944281
No reason not to thank him!
Best way to deal with an insult it to turn it into something positive.
>>
No. 944887 ID: 8d23f0

>>944281
might as well throw a joking insult back. "WOW, this must be at least 10 times the size of your meat!" make sure the others hear
>>
No. 944892 ID: 0a7f21

I'm not sure if he thinks you are a wilting flower or just hates kobolds. You should either just quietly thank him and back away so as not to offend him further, or go the opposite route and try to seduce him, knowing it will enrage him further.

How about "If you wanna see me swallow a fat cock I could make it much more enjoyable for you."
>>
No. 945578 ID: f5fee9
File 156917892303.jpg - (110.91KB , 1200x1000 , eating dick.jpg )
945578

>the little kobold takes the gift graciously and smiles

Neeral - Is this... Is this really all for me? You're so much more generous than my old captors! Thank you for this kindness!

>He smirks, and continues cutting at the beast.

Barkus - Don't mention it, and we have travel paper if you cant finish it...

Neeral - I know I wont be able to take it all in a single sitting... this must be the biggest cock I've ever had in me~

Barkus - Miro really knows how to pick em... go eat your dick you little cock slut...

Neeral - oh come now, if you really want to see me choke on a fat cock I can make it far more pleasurable for you~

>he stops skinning the beast dead in his tracks, our kobold licks her lips as Barkus's bulge grows in his trousers.

Barkus - I think you should stop talking to me now little whore...

>With that she trots off and sits down next to Miro.

Miro - ehh... Im sorry about him... I'll share with you if you like.

Neeral - oh no I love fatty dick

>She playfully licks the meats tip.

Miro - eum... you should cook that first... its rife with disease.

Neeral - oh I'm not worried, kobold stomachs can handle all sorts of nasty stuff. I've eaten mushrooms and bugs most my life and only rarely eat meat cooked. but it does taste better... in fact, I've learnt a trick... do you have any wine?

Miro - eum sure, we can pop open a bottle. To our friendship~

>Miro cracks open a bottle of red wine and pours enough for the whole party, meanwhile Neeral finds a shiny blueish pan in miro's stuff.

Neeral - whats this pan made of?

Miro - mythreal.

Neeral - My-Mythreal?!

Miro - yeah~

Neeral - Why?!

Miro - nothing sticks to mythreal~

Neeral - I... I... I... okay...

>The lusty kobold pours the rich wine over the fat cock as it cooks in the mythreal pan over the roaring fire... it sizzles and cooks to a rich reddish brown. With glee and a little hunger, she takes the huge meal and digs in, sinking her sharp fangs and beak into the tender flesh and ripping it apart piece by piece... Miro and Urist look a little discomforted by the sight, squirming slightly... Pharnax licks his lips watching

Pharnax - Neeral, May I have some? that looks delicious

>Neeral nods and offer it to the elf, who opens wide, revealing his needle like teeth, with a wet chomp he digs his maw into the meat and rips off a piece.

Pharnax - mmnnn just like mom used to make~

Miro - what's wrong with you mate?

Pharnax - hehee, do you want to know?

Miro - I'll pass...

>Soon the rest of the meats arrive and despite what Barkus declared, Miro shares some of his flank with Neeral. wine is passed around and the bark sings a few tales. soon the sun starts to set...

Miro - welp, I'm not very tired, so how about you guys hit the hay, and I'll take the first watch.

Urist - sure thing bucko...

Miro - Neeral my sweet, will you keep me company?

>of course~
>I'm tired...
>_ _ _
>>
No. 945589 ID: 9876c4

Fuckyeahcockauvin.

I'm for A. Let's be useful.
>>
No. 945596 ID: eeb7d9

As long as i can be useful, i shall keep you company! Especially after drinking wine, we don't want to fall asleep on your watch turn, eh? The more the merrier!
>>
No. 945612 ID: 94f01e

>>945578
Yes yes but first how will this work with us inside? We can have the excuse of freshing up
>>
No. 945644 ID: c0e130

>>945578
"On the first date? What do you think me, some kind of whore?!
...oh wait, I am. Sure!"
>>
No. 945653 ID: 0efe8e

I would say join him... but you should probably go some were and pull us out first.
>>
No. 945658 ID: 8cee7a

>>945653
...good idea.
>>
No. 945707 ID: a48264

Time to earn your keep... by keeping company! Might as well take this chance to learn more about this group -- that'll help you decide how long you want to stick around.

>>945653
>>945658
But's it's safe and cozy in here!
>>
No. 945761 ID: f57349

>>945653
Nah, stay inside. Instead of a lowly leech, let's think of ourselves like some classy vampire lord, having a guest over for dinner at Neeral Manor.
>>
No. 945762 ID: 094652

"Dessert! Yaaay!"
>>
No. 945764 ID: 91ee5f

>>945578
Of course!

>>945653
Nah, let’s stay inside Neeral. We can act as “protection”, that way Neeral doesn’t get pregnant.

Even though Lamashtu wants Neeral to get pregnant and give birth to new monsters, I don’t think getting pregnant from Miro would make a good monster offspring.
>>
No. 945773 ID: 9876c4

>>945764
I think it's entirely possible Lamashtu is thinking QUANTITY, not quality.
>>
No. 945802 ID: 094652

>>945773
Ultimately, it's what the monsters do with their strengths and weaknesses that matters. If a swarm of vicious man-eaters stays in one place and starves to death, that's not favorable. If a natural-born bladed bio-sword runs straight into an army with artillery, communication, and supply lines, that's also not favorable. If a meek pudgy widdle cutebold walks their way straight into the oncoming path of the princess' carriage, charms her into adoption, and sends coded scent messages back to their full-fledged tech-savvy army, that's favorable.

Stats are extremely important but what matters is applying them where they're needed. We're looking to create an ecosystem-civilization, diverse and ultimately adaptable for further evolution.
>>
No. 945807 ID: a9af05

>>945764
This
>>
No. 945880 ID: e3e99e

>>945764
Naw, see, that's the wrong way to look at things.
Instead, LET Neeral get pregnant, and then claim it's a miracle. Have her use raising their half-kobold child to justify staying with the adventuring party, and seduce the bard into being 'monster-swingers'.

She gets endless powerful monsters, and an armed escort.
>>
No. 945885 ID: a9af05

>>945880
The problem with adventurers is that they get paid to kill monsters. Asking them to help us make monsters is a good way of getting them to just turn around and kill Neeral before she can make any monsters.
>>
No. 945889 ID: e6f10c

>>945885
A important clarification is that they're paid to kill monsters that have been a big enough bother to someone with coin to pay to have said monsters killed. If the monsters aren't causing trouble, then why risk the party member's well being to slay 'em? And if they do cause trouble, well, that'll be more job opportunities for the party, though killing the monsters would go well against Lamashtu's desires. ...But if Neeral could speak to the monsters she's birthed and they'd follow her direction, then this could be a opportunity to con folk out of their cash. Bring the monsters in to cause a ruckus, then Neeral leads 'em off secretly and the party claims they dealt with the problem and gets paid.

Anyway, it's still way too early to reveal such things to the party. They do not trust Neeral anywhere near enough. And even if and when they do, them knowing is another way knowledge of Neeral's blessing by Lamashtu and mission to slip out and get to the ears of those who would kill her.

Oh, and a important note about the way Lamashtu's blessing on Neeral works is that the egg Neeral lays (two days after conception,) are buried to finish their growth and then hatch. How long that'll take is unknown and might be based on how big the offspring are. Whatever the way, it means that Neeral doesn't have to stick around to care for the eggs or the offspring.
>>
No. 946216 ID: 81cd19

That's one way to eat dick I suppose.

And yes, we should exit Neeral.

You should definitely agree to keep him company. Don't want him to get suspicious in any way.
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