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High Day
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[inner thoughts]: OH! that's right! dreams are easy to forget, so I almost forgot that in my dream, Demoria wanted to find a way to talk to and bargain with Spirit Contaminator, and I offered to help arrange a meeting. But like Demoria said, I can't just rush into it. I'll need to have patience, and by doing that, I'll need to slowly start some kind of friendship with Spirit Contaminator, or maybe get stockholm syndrome in order to eventually get her to talk with Demoria...
[inner thoughts]: I think to do that, I'll need to answer and critique Spirit Contaminator's questions truthfully, but not be insulting, but not be too friendly either... but ugh, that's TOO MANY QUESTIONS SHE IS ASKING!!!!... nonetheless, I'll have to answer them... because I may have let myself down, but I won't let Demoria down at least. This is for her. I have to prove I'm not a total failure at everything
What I think of you? we just met so I barely know you to draw a conclusion, nor do I know what you mean by Ice cream shop incident... but initial thoughts, you do seem to have sympathy for your family and others, especially the late Essence. I mean, you're trying to keep your team together in the interrogation room. And I know you wanted to kill me in the interrogation room, but in that fight, you used to be a little hesitant in killing me with a poison earlier and called Happy to intervene instead. But more than that, you now seem determined to get shit done trying to push away past weakness, not showing mercy anymore towards me, trying not to let feelings get in the way, and just looking forward on your goals... Just be sure to check your rear-view window periodically, the past can rear-end you if you don't.
Appearance? I don't think that matters at this point considering the type of people of varying appearances are out there being the norm after the fog hit. I mean, look at Tv Head's, and my own appearance. But I believe despite whether or not what your physical condition is, you are still you, it matters not how you look as long as you know who or what you are and want to be. But you asking about your appearance towards us, I can't tell if you hate how you look or not. I think the question is what do you yourself think of your own appearance? How do you want to look? How do you want others to see you?
For your leadership? even though your leadership was probably thrown at you, I see potential. You certainly seem to have a plan of action and the preparation and will to carry out those plans. And you seem to be keeping order in your team as you have prevented Anubis from keeping TV Head muted showing you can keep your team as united as possible...
...However, there was something about what you did as a leader that caused my outburst in the interrogation room: calling Ember weak. Sure you may have disagreed with my suggestion to go grieve with her and face the truth saying there is no time for sadness, but I think you could have still gone with Ember if not with the intention to grieve for Essence, but to support Ember through her grieving and time of need even if you didn't agree with it... if only to weed out the weaknesses by mending Ember's broken heart and help her grow stronger through it instead of just leaving her alone to pay respects to Essence...like Jerry did to me when he wouldn't support my studies thus ending my first life
I think this goes for Felafaf too. She said she was Sad and empty when speaking to Happy, and yet you said there is no time for sadness earlier. If you're worried that sadness is going to bring your team down, you should try to mend Felafaf's and Ember's sadness.
thoughts on the community? hm... I don't know if I've met EVERYONE in the community, but it seems with all the people I've seen so far, it seems to be full of broken spirits who lost people or somethings or everything and they want to do something about it. A community of people with broken hearts and emotional trauma. But hey, at least you all can be miserable together to pull through and reach for the stars. But I think I remember hearing that people who are broken can be manipulated easily. I'm probably speaking from experience though. Just be aware of what is going on around you.
How you function? you're all very secretive, very prepared, I'll admit, it is quite intimidating,
However, some of you seem to act out on your emotions, like Anubis' blind rage muting Tv Head which shows signs she can potentially ignore logic and and act on rage without seeing the big picture or considering her teammates thoughts, Tv Head's confusion which could cause misunderstandings in orders, Felafaf's and Ember's sadness that may potentially give them a defeatist hopeless attitude. I think as a leader, you need to address these with them before your mission.
How you are organized? as I said, you remind me of my friends, sticking together, united. Though it seems if one of you are doing something you disagree with, such as Ember, you call them weak behind their back. Shunning someone for their actions will just give them more reason to leave your organized group or get thrown under the bus like what happened to me with my group of friends... But at least you all took consideration with what I said regarding Ember and decided to wait for Ember for my death so that you all can truly be together.
For how you all see each other in your group? well, you all seem united with the same goal, but I can see how some of their personalities don't match up well with each other. For instance, Anubis has no patience for Tv Head, Tv head doesn't look like he wants anything to do with anyone and would rather get lost in his confusion, Felafaf doesn't speak out often, and it looks like you seem to be distancing from Ember and her sadness instead of helping her get over her sadness.
...
Also, after this conversation, can TV Head put me inside that toy box and close it? I want nothing but total darkness to blanket me.
[inner thoughts]: That was too many questions that she wanted me to answer... I hope it amounts to something. I'm doing this for you Demoria.
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