{0.5} Stingpie 2026/06/17(Wed)00:57 No. 1128154 ID: 35d66b
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A Seminarian drives their car to final exams, yawning and barely keeping their eyes open.

{1} Stingpie 2026/06/17(Wed)01:01 No. 1128155 ID: 35d66b
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At the same time, venomous serpents from the outer world plan to make first contact. They have determined that instead of asking, it would be significantly easier to erase someone's brain and replace the name with whatever name they've chosen. What name shall these aliens endow on this unsuspecting fool, and how should they introduce themselves?

The most common name on this planet seems to be Assaul. Park your vehicle in front of his and descend the ramp with a really really bright lamp behind you, as is tradition.

The new name will be "HRK" after the sound the person last made before getting their brain wiped

Wendel
hiss at him

I second HRK for a name

"HRK" (in all caps)(pronounced with the phlegm)

2-{0.5} Stingpie 2026/06/18(Thu)00:19 No. 1128204 ID: 35d66b
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The snakes briefly debate on the best name.
Assaul seems popular. This probably wouldn't freak out the guy too much.
Wendel has a nice ring to it, I think.
"hrk!" like the last guy. It's probably a human word.
No, That's stupid. That's just a noise. It isn't a word.
HRK.
Yeah, HRK.
No, stop being stupid.
HRK.
HRK.
HRK.
HRK.
HRK.
HRK.
HRK.
HRK.
FINE. WE CAN NAME HIM HRK.

2-{1} Stingpie 2026/06/18(Thu)00:19 No. 1128205 ID: 35d66b
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A beam of energy descends from the heavens and the ichor of knowledge is transposed with cosmic venom.
How will they make themselves known? It is against protocol to have a physical encounter, so what message should be beamed down?

Well, we don't want any misunderstandings, so lets be safe and make sure HRK has all the context needed. Full First Contact packet, abbreviated version.

(...what do you mean they can't handle 14 gigaponders of direct memory infusion?)

ATTENTION, VALUED SHOPPER. THIS IS AN URGENT MESSAGE FROM ABOVE. DO NOT TAKE YOUR FEET OFF THE PEDALS. YOU ARE BEING TASKED WITH SPREADING OUR WORD. YOU MUST CONVINCE THE WORLD THAT SNAKES ARE REAL.

Actually wait no do take your foot off the pedal and put it on the left pedal. Or is it the right, no no the left is right.

And then HEED our GOOD NEWS regarding SNAKES

"Attention human. We are about to breach protocol and engage in direct contact.

We come in peace and apologize for the inconvinience.

Allow us to show our contrition through constriction."

>>1128206
Perfect.
Hrk will be so smart.
Lets just nuuuuuudge some of those motor functions to the side, he doesnt need to be that good at moving if he has a vehicle, and get rid of those awkward memories about useless stuff like family to make room.
There we go.
Plenty of room now for that info and he's gonna e able to use it all!
He does speak sibbilant right? Otherwise hes just got a lot of hissing sitting in his memory now and no context.
Itll pop out when he tries to remember other stuff...
Ah, never mind.
Hrk is smart.
He'll pick it up.
Look! Hes starting to hiss now!

HUMAN! collect the sacred skins we have shed and you will be awarded!