[24/25] Stingpie 2026/04/03(Fri)23:03 No. 1124314 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: LISTEN UP, BUCKLEY DOE! WE NEED TO KICK THE PEDO TEACHER IN THE WIENER.

[25/25] Stingpie 2026/04/03(Fri)23:04 No. 1124315 ID: 35d66b
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Ian P.: Are you taking me to our first date?? Classes start at 9:00! I need to get back before then!

Where should Mayo go?

Oh shit uhh teens. Teens date go to theeee malt shop! Yeah, that's a teen thing still, right?

>>1124318
Yes!
The malt shop!
our newly hallucinated interest in home brewing will no doubt enchant this romantic interest.
Or iv we cant find that, sone place that sells overly large milkshakes with two straws so we can duel in a milk drinking contest!

Okay, so first the dumb purple cat who died in our imagination is alive again, because that's how it works.

Next we kill two birds with one stone (though maybe not literally), and go to the malt class. If schools can sell alumni to professional sport clubs, they can sell alumni-made malt to malt shops.

this pedo talk is a bit odd and strange,,, not sure where its coming from. have you considered you may have schizophrenia?
other than that, try convincing your new friend/love interest that school is for fools and life is for the living. and milkshakes are yummyyy

Discotheque. Dance and jump around so much that it would dislodge some sort of hypothetical totally innocent gremling from a hypothetical basketball hoop in your brain.

Or y'know you can also do that at the malt shop if you're not a coward.

[9/19] Stingpie 2026/04/12(Sun)14:15 No. 1125188 ID: 35d66b
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Ian P.: So, is this where we are supposed to kick pedos? Is this where they meet?

[10/19] Stingpie 2026/04/12(Sun)14:16 No. 1125189 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: Naw. I just thought we should go where teens like us usually go on dates.

[11/19] Stingpie 2026/04/12(Sun)14:17 No. 1125190 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: The malt shop!

[12/19] Stingpie 2026/04/12(Sun)14:17 No. 1125191 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: You know what homebrewing is? I've really gotten into it recently.

[13/19] Stingpie 2026/04/12(Sun)14:18 No. 1125192 ID: 35d66b
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Ian P.: Aren't you a little bit young to drink?

[14/19] Stingpie 2026/04/12(Sun)14:20 No. 1125193 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: Yeah, I guess, but the key to a good beer is letting the suds cure in a casket for a few years. It really brings out the bouquet, I've heard.

Ian P.: Huh. Interesting.

[15/19] Stingpie 2026/04/12(Sun)14:22 No. 1125194 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: WHY?! Why dost the fleeting flames of vigor and youth be doused by the ceaseless suffocation of infinity!?

[16/19] Stingpie 2026/04/12(Sun)14:24 No. 1125195 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: Were it not for the barbs of fury and jealousy, wouldst we all be immortal?! Surely, it must be the folly of man to believe in goodness at all!

[17/19] Stingpie 2026/04/12(Sun)14:24 No. 1125196 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: *sniffles*

[18/19] Stingpie 2026/04/12(Sun)14:25 No. 1125197 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: Oh, the purple cat gremling is back. Nice. All's well that ends well, I suppose.

[19/19] Stingpie 2026/04/12(Sun)14:26 No. 1125198 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: So... You all mind giving me a recap of what's going on?

We're going to wow your potential suitor by performing mixology with the melty ice creams left in an abandoned malt shop.

Now important, do you think he calls them sprinkles or jimmies? If you say the wrong thing you'll be a social pariah for sure.

We have a potential mate and are attempting to wow them with our mixological powers.
We made it to school, but after turning part of our brain into a roast chicken in our subconcious we lost track of some things and might have implied the next person wevkicknin the nuts is a pedo so we gave to choose wisely.
Our potential mate has a good sense of humour and laughs at jokes which, as a well adjusted individual, we also laugh at because jokes are amusing.
We get jokes all the time.

I think thats it.

Oh right!
Also, time doesnt seem to slow down when youre doing this so your new friend is watching you standing there vacant and drooling.

i dont remember

ablgkhghghg

i think we were drinking whatever sludge was in the cup? either way this guy is kind of a peak bachelor. consider ascending above your predecessors and become gay. maybe even kick him in the crotch to flirt? i think thats a good idea, and everyone agrees with me.

We are going to drink malt from an old malt shop with our new boyfriend highschool crush Ian P.

Our objectives are the following:
1) Survive the malt.

2) Have an unforgetable date (unforgetable in a positive way, optional)

3) Get to be deal with Ian P on a family name basis.

4) Get to class on time.

[1/11] Stingpie 2026/05/02(Sat)02:58 No. 1126118 ID: 35d66b
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Ian P.: Shoot! We need to get to school!

[2/11] Stingpie 2026/05/02(Sat)02:59 No. 1126119 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: Hang on, Hang on. One minute. Give me one minute

[3/11] Stingpie 2026/05/02(Sat)02:59 No. 1126120 ID: 35d66b
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Ian P.: okay, 1 minute.

[5/11] Stingpie 2026/05/02(Sat)03:01 No. 1126122 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: Listen, Ian P., You and I both knew this couldn't last forever. You gotta take the bus without me.

[6/11] Stingpie 2026/05/02(Sat)03:02 No. 1126123 ID: 35d66b
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Ian P.: What? Why can't we walk back to school?

[7/11] Stingpie 2026/05/02(Sat)03:03 No. 1126124 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: Do you have any idea what you'd have to look forward to if you stayed here? 9 chances out of 10, we'd both end up in detention.

[8/11] Stingpie 2026/05/02(Sat)03:04 No. 1126125 ID: 35d66b
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Ian P.: But why not both of us? Why can't we both go?

[9/11] Stingpie 2026/05/02(Sat)03:05 No. 1126126 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: None of that matters now. Goodbye Ian, we'll always have the malt shop.

[11/11] Stingpie 2026/05/02(Sat)03:06 No. 1126128 ID: 35d66b
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Ian P.: We'll always have the malt shop...

[12/11] Stingpie 2026/05/02(Sat)03:06 No. 1126129 ID: 35d66b
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THA END! :D

The ending I wrote yesterday was much darker. I changed my mind after Maddie misread something I wrote. Everyone say thank you to Maddie for stopping Mayo from dying!

Yay didn't die! that's what we call a success

Thank you Maddie

(p.s.) Stingpie 2026/05/07(Thu)21:48 No. 1126473 ID: 35d66b
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Mayo: Hmm... I wonder where that purple cat gremling got off to. I haven't seen it in a while.