Buckwheat 2026/01/31(Sat)21:39 No. 1120660 ID: 9db031
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Before my adventure can start, let me tell you about myself.

I am [INSERT NAME], the skunk.

You could describe me as being:
( ) Masculine
( ) Feminine
( ) A skunk

My occupation here in the village is:
( ) The Candle Maker
( ) The Clothes Washer
( ) The Gardener
( ) The Tea brewer

>Chose a name, gender, and profession for your skunk. Then click next to continue.

Gelchi, the masculine clotheswasher

Eugene (Genie), The masculine gardener/tick devourer/wish granter

"The Skunk" as your name, masculine, clothes washer.

Bart, masculine gardener

Name: Skink
Gender: skunk
Occupation: chandler
Full title: Skink the skunk skunk chandler

Smelly, putrid, noxious, repugnant, stenchy, icky, malodorous, mephitic...

Buckwheat 2026/02/01(Sun)14:48 No. 1120699 ID: 9db031
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You are Eugene the skunk, a masculine Clothes Washer!

You have a bit of a reputation for being the best clothes washer in all of the village. No stain can escape your powerful suds and washboard.

Sadly, despite your cleanliness and the lovely smelling results of your labors, most folk consider you stinky, malodorous, repugnant, and other slanderous names. You don’t let it discourage you though, and continue to strive for even higher standards of service.

2/2 Buckwheat 2026/02/01(Sun)14:48 No. 1120700 ID: 9db031
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As you get dressed for the day, there’s a fierce knocking at your door. You don your cap and greet your visitor. It is one of the otter knights, holding a large sack. He goes out of his way to cough and gag at your sight.

Otter Knight: “How you manage to keep the garments you clean from smelling like this will always escape me.”

You sigh and ask how you can help the knight,

Otter Knight: “Her majesty has well, how we shall say, wine stains that need removal. A rather wild guest was at her castle it seems. There’s a large royal gathering tonight, so someone will return at sundown to retrieve them, along with fifty gold coins for the rush job. They had better come out smelling like the fairest flowers in the field for your sake.”

He drops the sack at your doorstep and runs off as fast he can.
Oh how you wish to have gotten up earlier now. Alas, today is your restocking day! You were going to get freshwater, lavender, and some other sweet smelling things to use for clothes washing. You have nothing at paw and must hurry!

What shall you do?
>Start hauling water
>Search the woods to gather flowers
>Search the market and barter

I doubt you get fair rates, but if it's gotta be fast you might be better off going to the market first.

'Wine stains'. Right.

Get everything for blood, urine, and semen removal, with some wine remover to keep your bases covered. If that doesn't work, you're going to need the big guns!

something tells you that 'wine' may have been rather coppery.

Go to the market to recruit urchins to gather flowers and herbs and water while you barter.

Fart in his general direction

>>1120700
Search the woods for someone with nicer clothing.

Buckwheat 2026/02/02(Mon)16:33 No. 1120731 ID: 9db031
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>Go to the market to recruit urchins to gather flowers and herbs and water while you barter.
You have a bit of spare coin to hire help, but don’t trust many with gathering flowers. However, perhaps you can rope in a neighbor to fetch some water.

Grabbing your pack and bag of coins, you rush over to the Bramblesnap’s and knock on the door. You hear the chilling grumblings of the misses.

Mrs. Bramblesnaps: ”Oh for fuk sake, what’s ‘e want now”
She opens up the door and turns to look at you, showing immediate disappointment.

Mrs. Bramblesnaps: “Aren’t ye suppose to be digging up flowers and pester’in merchants today. What’s ye’r foul arse want, make it quick.”

You explain you’re here to hire her husband for some help, and get cut off before you can explain.

Mrs. Bramblesnaps: “Oh no, ye’s lost your wits if ye think he’s helping today. We’re invited for dinner gatherun, and ey can’t be havin ‘em comin home smelling like rotted eggs from werking wit ye all day.”

You then proceed to explain her majesty has a rush order in place for today, and you just need him to haul some water while you barter the markets for some other supplies.

Mrs. Bramblesnaps: “Oh ‘er majesty ay. What’s the pay?”

You offer ten copper coins, or a one gold for the job. However she’d prefer it.

Mrs. Bramblesnaps: “Ye think ey be daft? Ey know ‘er majesty be paying ye least ten gold. Make it three gold and one o yer soaps an ey’l go wake him.”

Currently you have:
20 gold coins
15 copper coins
4 bars of plain bathing soaps [Value: 5 copper]
2 bars of honey scented bathing soap [Value: 1 Gold]
1 fresh tunic [Value: 2 copper]
1 flowered straw hat [Value: 5 copper]

>Accept her offer
>Counter offer
>Leave and search for help elsewhere.
>Leave and go to the market, worry about water later.
>Something else?

>>1120731
Tell her to meet you somewhere more private to gather coin.....

one and an 'alf gold, or nothing. Water's not so precious

Four gold, and both of them had better be hauling water all day.

>>1120731
One gold now, another and a half upon delivery of the water.

1/2 Buckwheat 2026/02/03(Tue)16:02 No. 1120792 ID: 9db031
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>one and an 'alf gold, or nothing. Water's not so precious
>One gold now, another and a half upon delivery of the water.
You tell Mrs. Bramblesnaps You’ll give one gold now, and another half when the water has been delivered.

Mrs. Bramblesnaps: “Come now, Ye can do at least two gold.”

You begin to walk away, wishing her a good day and inform her you’ll get someone else’s help. She shouts for you to wait.

Mrs. Bramblesnaps: “Fine, one an ‘alf a gold. Ey’l go wake ‘em.”

You give the badger a gold coin and wish her a good day.

Mrs. Bramblesnaps: “Yeah, yeah, go an badger those merchunts now!”

With, that she slams the door on you. You can hear her yelling for poor Mr. Bramblesnaps.

2/2 (typo fix) Buckwheat 2026/02/03(Tue)16:14 No. 1120794 ID: 9db031
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As you approach the village market grounds, you start to ponder a best course for your rounds.

>something tells you that 'wine' may have been rather coppery.
>Get everything for blood, [and other bodily fluid] removal.

You’ll certainly need the heavy duty stain removers today, which means a trip to that alchemist fellow is needed. It could get a bit pricey, but the two of you are well acquainted. If he doesn’t have what you need on hand though, you could be stuck waiting for him to brew it.

On the other side, the market is busy and bustling with all kinds of folks. Going there first means you probably won’t have to worry about the flowers you use for that fresh clean smell selling out.

>Visit the Alchemist
>Visit the Market Stalls

alchemist first, so if there is brewing it can go while you shop

alchemist. do they have perfumes?

save, so you can go back if this decision goes wrong and you don't want to start over. These early adventure games are full of soft locks

>>1120815
Yes.
They never tell you youre fucked either. Lets set a save slot as a backup.

We will go to the alchemist.

We aren't amateurs who buy cleaning products first and examine what needs cleaning later! We must know everything there is to know about these cloth stains and what caused them, carrying out this investigation to its final consequences.

Because we are just that professional!

>>1120815
At first I thought you were joking, but then I looked at the image again

>>1120815
Agree, we don't know where on Zarf's cruelty scale this is. Save early, save often, and keep your old saves.

>>1120797
Provisionally agree, assuming that walking to the alchemist and back to the market isn't going to take a huge amount of time. We'll want to put in our order, probably pay extra for rush service and home delivery, and then cross that off our list and go to the market.

>>1120813
We probably don't want completed perfumes; but it's entirely likely the alchemist will have essential oils, and those should work just as well as whole flowers.

Buckwheat 2026/02/13(Fri)18:16 No. 1121079 ID: 9db031
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>save
>Lets set a save slot as a backup.
>Save early, save often
SAVE TO SLOT 1 SUCCESSFUL. PRESS ENTER TO CONTINUE…

>Enter
>alchemist first
>We will go to the alchemist.
You decide it’s best to visit the alchemist first. You’d be in quite the pickle if you went later and he had to brew it. It’s not a terrible walk, but the old alchemist likes to keep to himself. You pick up the pace after a bit to scurry along the forest path, reaching his shop.

You see the alchemist rummaging through crates as you enter. You wish him a good morning, and ask if all is well?

Malcolm: “Oh, morning to ya Eugene. Things could be better, but what can I do you for?”

You explain your predicament to Malcolm, and pray he has what you need.

Malcolm: “Best you came ‘ere first then. I’ll ‘ave to brew it up. Some noble lady from the other side of cedar lake came last sunset. Cleaned me right out.”

You ask if he can get a rush order in for you, it is for her majesty after all. He gives out a hearty laugh.

Malcolm: “Hah-hah-hah! Oh but Eugene, her majesty isn’t the one paying me for it. I’ve got a few other orders to finish up this morning. ”Where did I put that bottle of tree’s beak… Ah never mind. If you care to bargain for a moment perhaps we can work something out. I can brew up your usual order and some special ‘wine stain’ remover for twelve gold, three copper, top priority.”

You nod and think about your counter offer, but Malcolm starts spouting off more numbers.

Malcolm: “If you have time to wait, I can go down to nine gold. You’ll be last on my to do list though. I can probably have it ready by sundown, if you’re willing to chance the wait.”

You begin to think again about your counter offer, but get interrupted once more.
Malcolm: “Ah! Actually, if you have a moment to spare. I do have some vials and other instruments that need cleaning. I can do eight gold and give you top priority if you help me out. What say you, Eugene?”

The eight gold is tempting enough to give a brief thought on. You ask Malcolm if he has water and soaps to clean the vials with.
Malcolm: “Aye, can’t be brewing without water anyway!”

You can’t imagine it’d take long to wash everything. Perhaps half a passage between marks on the sundial. Then another quarter to possibly get to the market. Give or take a few moments in case anyone you’re acquainted with passes by.
What shall you do?

Currently you have:
19 gold coins
10 copper coins (5 copper on-hold as promised to Mrs. Bramblesnaps)
4 bars of plain bathing soaps [Value: 5 copper]
2 bars of honey scented bathing soap [Value: 1 Gold]
1 fresh tunic [Value: 2 copper]
1 flowered straw hat [Value: 5 copper]

>Pay twelve gold, three copper for top priority and head to the market
>Pay Nine gold and chance it, head for the market
>Pay Eight gold and help clean, head for the market after.
>Counter Offer (Offer what?)

We can't be waiting until sundown; that's when we're supposed to be done.

We're going to be stuck waiting on him one way or another, so there's no reason not to clean his vials; we just need to get to the market straightaway so we can buy our flowers. I'm going to say to pay the high price for now, and then see if he'll refund us in part if we come back and clean the vials later. The only reason not to do this would be if we don't think we can afford the flowers with 7 gold.

>>1121080
this makes sense

>>1121080
Third'd

>>1121080
We might want to mention the plan first, so we don't come back and he already cleaned them or st

>>1121102
I posted that, and I apologize that it wasn't clear this was my intent. Yes, we should ensure Malcolm understands what we're wanting to do.

We could potentially try to negotiate something like nine gold up front and the rest on completion if we don't manage to clean the vials, but that feels like it might be tempting fate.

-Counter Offer: His reputation.

Impeding the queen's laundry is impeding the queen.

Impeding the queen is treason.

Treason is punishable by being named the new village stinkbutt.

Repeat this law with the tone and gaze of steel that abides to argument, and the detergents of royal quality shall be yours.