Wait, what were those pills? Did you need those, or was that part of the ritual?

so you need some quick cash huh, so... how familiar are you with a property called "payday" and how do you feel about wearing a clown mask?

Enhance Knockers.

Uh, actually, the problem is when you do this kind of thing, you get a few decent entities and a whole bunch of jerks!

Hi! I hope to be friends! Um, a good rule of thumb about us is we tend to be agents of chaos. We heard that bit where you care about money and, to be frank, we aren't amazing at helping folk with that. Still! get a good one of us, and you can get good advice even there! That said, a good way to appease the jerks is to lead an interesting life, do funny and amusing things, and also have lots and lots of varied sexual encounters. We are absolutely, totally into having vicarious sex lives and are mostly massive horndogs!

A broke cutie with a history of bad decisions? First, keep that chin up, and maybe get those pills: drugs are valuable and they should float anyway. What are your immediate needs?
Suffice it to say, making oodles of money quick requires brains, skills, illegality, and a fuck ton of luck. What are your thoughts on seducing a busty babe billionaire, or robbing a bank? Clown mask optional.
And was the Legendary Cruise Captain at least hot? What's with the chain?

You thought your impulse control was bad when you were mortgaging your house for gacha? Prepare for it to get a whole lot worse, you sorry sod.

You have gained muy favour. The spirit of telling your mom shall inform her of your gay gacha vice.

May your punishment be well-earned and your lesson well-learned.

Well, the safest way to get miney is usually through a job.
So... what can you do? What are your skills? Are you a smooth talker, a brainy type, do you have a steady hand?

>>1078388

To add to this, congrats, you now have some very important goals in life.

They are:

-Be Interesting. We're less likely to give you bad advice if we are amused.

-Build a rapport with us. We DO have a capacity for empathy and sympathy. Well, most of us. The more we see you as a person to engage with rather than a target of a vague desire to cause chaos, the better for you. And yes, many of the bad advice folk can be engaged with in such a way that you gently encourage them to have more fun in a prosocial way.

-Present yourself as worthy of empathy. This ties into the previous two goals, but isn't necessarily one on one, keep replying sort of thing. It's more part of your overall behavior and stance.

-Learn Discernment. There will be good advice mixed into the bad. Separate it out

And finally, a more urgent goal:

-Give Exposition! We lack background and context and only just got here. We do not know common knowledge necessarily. Tell us all we need to know in order to help. You may want to parcel it out some to avoid overwhelming infodump, or you could say it all at once. Use your judgment. As a long term form of this goal, you may wish to cultivate the habit of having a running narrative giving context to whatever you are engaging in, or that is in your vicinity.

MOUNT YOUR APATOSAURUS AND RIDE FOR THE EASTERN JUNGLE

Here's some specific, discrete, actionable advice for you to help your finances.

Look up the following concepts:

Gambler's Fallacy
Partial Reinforcement
Availability Heuristic
Sunk Cost Fallacy
Operant Conditioning
Operant Conditioning Chamber

And think hard about how those might apply to your hobby.

>>1078383
No no don't tell him that!
If he takes his pills how's he gonna hear us?

hearing voices is a bad thing actually, they should be getting a job and conforming to society

>>1078440

It depends on the society, actually. Some societies aren't worth conforming to. We should learn about his society and circumstances to see if removing our influence is a good idea. It's a bit early to make a judgment call on that, yaknow?

1/3 Dixon 2023/12/02(Sat)02:04 No. 1078457 ID: 135f1c
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>useless frivolities, gay gacha vice
Listen, Legendary Cruise Captain Dry of the Pleasure Fleet is the only male Meteor Venture character that male players can romance. He's locked behind DLC, can you believe it? And hey, I can be responsible! I set aside money for rent first! It just took the rest of the money in my bank account, which was the equivalent of maybe 50 zeny. I am not a rich neumono. Currency is different here. And joke's on you, I don't have a mom anymore! I got what I wanted from the game anyways, so no more gacha for me.

>was he hot
He's the hottest character in my honest opinion and not just because he's dateable.I bet he has a massive dick. Oh Cruise Captain, if only tobaks were rea-

2/3 Dixon 2023/12/02(Sat)02:05 No. 1078459 ID: 135f1c
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Hold the phone, those are voices I'm hearing! Hello! I should introduce myself, and also ask you all what information you know! I'm Dixon, rogue neumono, nice to meet you all! I wonder how much info you guys can hear me think, it sure would be embarrassing if you all heard me thinking about dicks nonstop.

>What I want
Money! And...friends? Maybe a boyfriend with a really nice dick. Being a rogue is really lonely. Being a rogue chucked in a paradimension where all the rules are different is even more lonely. On the plus side, less hives to glare at you! A lot of aliens here showed up like I did, just popping in at the Gatespire at random. More show up every so often. I got here a few months ago. They just give you some stuff and send you on your way. The chains here hold this island we're on up, except not really, it just floats. This place is like a big space filled with floating islands chained to each other that loops back on itself like an old 2D game. It's part of a big cluster of interconnected dimension things called Sectors as small as here or as big as its own little galaxy. "The Gatespire" is the tower, "Gatespire" is the city. Every Sector has a "The Gatespire" and every "The Gatespire" has a "Gatespire."

3/3 Dixon 2023/12/02(Sat)02:08 No. 1078461 ID: 135f1c
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>massive horndogs,
MY PEOPLE. I'm holding my arms up in celebration, in case you can't see. Can you see? The scraps of stories I managed to find that weren't erased had contradicting info on interaction except never ending well. That, and giving up any semblance of privacy, forever. Can you tell me if you see a really hot guy?

>pills, ritual
No, no ritual here. They're pills specifically designed to make voices like you all disappear! They're free and they hand them out like candy at the drug store. "Voices of the End Syndrome," the pamphlet they gave me said. "Makes you hear voices that guide. You may feel a pull to the Core of the Cosmos," whatever that is. I think it grants wishes? But everybody dies trying to get there, which is why they're Voices of the "End." Sooo, so I won't be doing that. I'm not feeling that pull either, it's supposed to feel like some kind of revelation to go on some big journey. VotE Syndrome happens to random people here and it's bad for neumono since it basically guarantees rogue status even if you take the pills. But I was a rogue before, though...

>skills
Before he got disappeared, my last boss told me I was good at odd jobs. I used to work doing deliveries and errands for him until some very nice men in suits told him to pack his bags and join them in their very nice car. The floaty kind, so extra very nice. His last words to me were to chase my dreams, but I didn't since I didn't have any. Money can be like a gateway dream, right? Like bitterleaf can be a gateway drug to getting disappeared. The very nice men gave me some money before they left and told me to never tell another soul, ever. That was my last payday. It doesn't count as telling if it's you guys, right? I don't have an apatosaurus, but I do have a beat up scooter and there's a floating island made entirely of forest and gigantic mushrooms east of here.

Other info, other info...I live at an apartment with a roommate, but I have never seen them, ever. They leave feathers everywhere, but I don't think they're a heef. I have a debilitating compulsion to think about cocks at any given moment.

Hey I have an idea, you should go to the Core of the Cosmos, and then stick your dick in it.

We will be glad to tell you if we notice a really hot guy! And we will absolutely pretend to not notice your inner thoughts, unless you want us to be... coquettish about them, hmmm? Though, alternately, perhaps we can help you accept and make peace with, maybe even enjoy your compulsion, so it is not debilitating any more?

And sorry, no hot guys, just a vague outline of a person fishing behind you, no way to tell if it's a guy, let alone whether they're hot or not.

Also, surely there are more sorts of folk than just 'guys' around, what with all the aliens and such? What weird sexes and weird genders do you find yourself considering as 'hot'? And what other things do you find 'hot' in general?

Oh! Regarding the rogue thing, doesn't anyone around have any kooky magical-like telempathy or telepathy powers, or one of the many other variants of 'mind link' style hive minds?

>core of the cosmos

Reminds me of a story, that I *thought* was fictional, where pilgrims in a starfaring society were compelled to journey towards the Galactic Core by a mysterious hyperintelligence called Domina...

find and actually introduce yourself to your roommate, flirt heavily with them because you need to practice your moves on someone to build up your social skills and might as well be someone you kind of know but never really see unless you go out of your way to, have them fall for you, have it become VERY awkward when you find out they're a girl, and have it end with your panicking on what to do about it.

>tobaks aren't real
Not with that sort of attitude, they're not!... Though, you can't just count on The Gatespire tossing you a big dick Tobak bf. Good taste with Captain Dry.

We see from a third person perspective. Also, you have a mysterious, potentially male stranger in your home regularly and you haven't investigated and/or fantasized about them? Self restraint is good, but they must be very private to achieve that. You should politely confront them about the feathers though, it's cute but also inconsiderate.
Check your messages, gotta know what potential friend or foe is trying to reach you.

Tobaks ARE real. They come from Saxum VII. Or at least the version of the universe where Saxum VII is real.


Interdimensional crossroads, huh?
Those tend to come up a lot lately.

Be thankful you didn't end up in The House. That place's full of rooms big enough to hold cities and no natural light. End up there without any light of your own and outside of the few nation states that managed to form there and you won't last long. Many of the things trapped there REALLY thrive in the dark. Not tobaks, though. Those get eaten too.

Hey, speaking of nation states, there any of those here? What about points of interest? There any other cute doggy people for you to play with?

*Sigh* You are so adorable, if only neumonos were real.

>>I have a debilitating compulsion to think about cocks at any given moment.
Boy howdy I feel that some days.

>>Can you tell me if you see a really hot guy?
Absolutely. What's your type?

Hey, since we're still in your gutter thoughts, you ever managed to do the dirty and convince some boy to let you deposit an olive in im'? Or receive something instead?

Oh and speaking of that, what's your pref, top, bottom, or switch?

Stick your dick in the End!

>Can you tell me if you see a really hot guy?
Yes, I'm looking at you right now, a ha ha.

Since you're at a loose end, think about where you would like to be right now. A sandy beach, dense jungle, teeming city? Specific goals can come later, for now just figure out what vibe you're going for.

If you want money, and like cocks, why can't we be a gigalo? Are we worried love will turn into work? Why not be a stripper instead! You could do it. Or we could be a pimp, but we need more strength for that.

If not, we'll have to venture into some other sort of enterprise. Does this place have a tipping culture? If so, it could be a trap, but being a waiter could be good.

Still, you need to improve your stats, GET JOGGING!

For someone thinking about dongs so much you don't look like you got a boner.

1/4 Dixon 2023/12/06(Wed)01:03 No. 1078779 ID: 135f1c
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Oh you guys can hear everything this is really embarrassing. But...I should embrace this, right? If you're all able to see things the way you say you do then you'll probably see...everything...anyway. I like thinking about dicks, and enjoy constantly thinking about dicks, but the debilitating part comes from spacing out and when another neumono gets within range and gets bombarded with a plethora of penis ponderings. A dithering of dick deliberations. Countless cock considerations.

>Stick your dick in the Core/End
Nnnnno.

>What types are there around? What's your type? You ever deposit an olive in somebody? How about some sex work?
I've never heard it being called depositing an olive, and now that's an image in my head. Thanks. And...I've actually...never had...sex...before...
I want to try a bit of everything first before settling into a preference. As long as they call themselves a guy and have a cock I'm game. I will probably get actual standards when I'm not desperately lonely. At the very least, maybe a flesh and blood kind of body. I bumped into some alien that looked kind of like a glass rhombus last month and felt absolutely nothing. Not even a dick thought. I thought I was dying.
As for sex work, I don't think I'm confident enough for that. I'm not that good an actor either. And being a pimp requires knowing people! Or at least it does in the porn stories. It sounds really hot though. If I do do porn though, I have a headstart over other neumono guys! I'm one of the lucky few that doesn't need a vacuum! A fact I'm grateful for every day.

>You're a really hot guy.
Oh stop, you're making me blush!

2/4 Dixon 2023/12/06(Wed)01:03 No. 1078780 ID: 135f1c
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>There's a guy behind you.
Wow, this is the first time I've ever seen a miklik in person. I didn't know they had them here. I think it's a guy. This guy wasn't here when I got here, did he just sneak by? He's just staring at the water, what a weirdo. I wonder how their dicks work. They're detachable, right? With spores? That's gotta feel weird.

>Kooky magic telempathy or telepathy powers.
There's probably something out there! Magic seems to be a thing here. I've never seen it but to be fair, I've also never seen my roommate. I want to believe. Maybe the miklik guy is trying to magic up some fish? He just keeps staring.

3/4 Dixon 2023/12/06(Wed)01:06 No. 1078783 ID: 135f1c
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>For someone thinking about dongs so much you don't look like you got a boner.
Thanks, I try.

>Flirt hard with your roommate for social practice and die inside when you find out they're a girl
I'm dying inside just thinking about it already. I'm going to go with attempted friendship just in case.

>Improve your stats, GET JOGGING!
I walked here! That counts as some exercise, right? I also did a lot of running doing deliveries! Away, I mean. Lots of running away.

>Tobaks are real, especially in the universe where they're real.
And I'm rich, in the universe where I'm rich. But you're right, I shouldn't give up on potentially meeting a hot tobak who is boyfriend material!

>Think about where you would like to be right now.
Surrounded by friends. I'd like that. Maybe with hot guys.

>Check your messages.
You know, funny thing, this is a burner phone I grabbed from my old boss' place while he emptied it out. It was in the box and everything, and-

4/4 Dixon 2023/12/06(Wed)01:07 No. 1078784 ID: 135f1c
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"Hey, you! Do you ogling guys? Do you want a bunch of money and other miscellaneous luxury goods? Do you like being in situations where you probably won't die? Join PANTS today! Inquire more under link!"

oh my god

seems like a scam. there's grammar issue in "Do you ogling guys" as an example... but hey, it's a burner phone. might as well check it out! Check the link.

I don’t trust that link. Google it instead and use the search engine to check it out. Less likely to get a virus that way.

It's a burner phone, who cares if it's malware. Click the button.

Sounds right up your alley, click that link.

Best copy paste the link into a notes or text app, also look it up on the local search engine, maybe see if other people are getting similar messages about whatever PANTS is and what their official site or whatever is. You know, be careful about it. If magic's real, or things that aren't technically magic but might as well be (cognitohazards? memetic hazards?) what if there's some weird effect on YOU and not the phone by clicking on it?

Phones are quite useful and it'd be good not to infect the phone by following a fairly suspect link without any research... but it's a burner phone and even if the link gave your phone malware you could probably factory-reset it away without losing anything important. Just don't insert your information willy-nilly and you'll be fine.

Sounds up your alley.

But to avoid getting scammed like a fool you could do a search on the site link itself to to see what's what.

1/3 Dixon 2024/11/12(Tue)00:12 No. 1099661 ID: 3104f9
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I sure do ogling guys...
Oh shit, I spaced out. How long was I out? The bad grammar does seem suspicious... The message opened itself as a webpage too, which is probably double suspicious.

>Google it.
What's doing a Google? Sounds like a euphemism. One with dicks. I probably shouldn't Google out in public, even if it's just me and the miklik out here.

>Run it through a search engine.
Is that what a Google is? I could copy the link, but the funny thing about this phone is it doesn't connect to the internet. At least, not without a connection nearby. Can I even call it global, this place isn't a planet. Anyway, the weird thing is this webpage shouldn't be working. If they can just force a connection, they could've hacked this phone either way, right?

I'm gonna press the link.

2/3 Dixon 2024/11/12(Tue)00:13 No. 1099662 ID: 3104f9
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A hologram bursts from the link button, displaying an unfamiliar logo. A video begins to play.

...huh. Phones don't do that. At least this cheap burner phone shouldn't be able to. The nice ones cost a ton of...whatever currency they use here, I'm still mentally processing it all as zeny. Supposedly some weird holdover from crossing dimensions where the mind hangs on to old things and-

>"Welcome to Prizefighters Acting on Natural Tendencies Syndicate, or PANTS! That's the verb, by the way. We're a fight club slash community that-"

*KZZRT!* *KSSHT!*

3/3 Dixon 2024/11/12(Tue)00:14 No. 1099663 ID: 3104f9
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Some guy interrupts the prerecorded message and takes up the screen. I don't think I've seen an alien of this species before, but that's something I could probably say at least once a week. Seems dog...ish though.

>"Yeah okay so we'll be skipping that for something more personal. I'm the head honcho of PANTs here, and I've been waiting for the day you chucked out those pills! You and I, we both have a connection. We both got Called by the Core of the Cosmos, see, and I'm here to prevent you from going on some crazy adventure to get a wish you don't even know how to word yet at some place you'll probably never reach. Lemme tell you a secret, the Core of the Cosmos will always take something from you, forever. It's not even equivalent exchange! It's different for everybody so you basically have to go at it alone at the end, too. The price of taking a terrible shortcut to what you want, I guess, but it has its perks. Anyway, allow me to introduce myself..."

>"I am Jack! KING OF ALL COCKS. Self appointed title, pun intended. This is where I'd pose and look cool but for reasons I can't for reasons somebody like you you can guess."
Did he do a sex? He totally did a sex I bet. That's kinda hot, just stating it like that. Jack makes a lewd gesture with his left hand, and the movement in his jacket highlights his lack of a right arm. Definitely a sexual reason confirmed, but holy shit, did the Core take his other arm? Wait hey what does he mean by somebody like me-

>"I saw you around the city and felt a kindred spirit and knew you'd be Called or had already been Called. You looked real lonely, little dude. Looking so longingly at a group of friends..."
Does he get me? I think he gets me. Wow, that's...

>"You kept staring at that construction guy who was going commando and had his fly down for so long that I knew you were also a pervert!"
Please stop getting me. It was a moment of weakness! He tucked it back in after his buddies pointed it out so casually I couldn't help but keep watching! I like stuff involving nudity, okay? Public, casual, sexual, whatever type. Back when I...wasn't a rogue...I always stood clear of those tribal LARPers because somebody told me one time they wear the flap type of loincloth everybody imagines and not the regular "wrap between the legs" kind and I kept thinking about things and it made it weird for anybody nearby for an entire day. They were totally lying, by the way. Is that a normal train of thought? I hope I'm not already sounding crazy from having all my thoughts displayed like this. Wait, was Jack still talking?

>"...so I could tell that you'd fit right in here at PANTS. It's something sort of a byproduct organization born of my wish to the Core which is very private but it's basically a bunch of people who have radical fights involving stripping each other in public or doing dares, among other things, for points. Those can then be exchanged for goods and services. And money! Everybody likes having more money. Don't ask me where it comes from, I don't know. Cosmologic smooths everything out, I guess. Like this call we're having. So, now that I've explained some things, you got any questions short stuff? That goes for you all out there listening in on this, too. I know you're there, I used to have you too."
Before anybody asks I'm of legal drinking age and not very tall. Anyway, questions? I'll ask him mine when I voice yours.

>>1099663
>for reasons
Huh, did the Core take away his ability to do cool poses? Or is he too busy getting a blowjob?

You know what? I bet you already went to the core, made some horny wish, and then as part of the price you either forgot or had your memory rewritten. This is too convenient otherwise.

Still, that makes it a good chance that this *is* you're reward though, so get over there!

Okay, this guy is weird, even for us. If you're going to his PANTS, make sure you talk to people before and after. Talk to the others at PANTS, use your empathy observation skills to determine if they like being there.

This is suspicious, but too convenient not to look into. Seems like your (rather, Jack's) horny wish come true.
Accommodations, apparel, and appetite: is any of that covered? Important to know if you're stuck with your roommate, and might have to meet them naked.
How are points (and dares) tracked and exchanged? It's effectively a currency, and you should find out how it works.
What's the breadth of the goods and services? It's unlikely, but as motivation, consider this: Tobak AI Boyfriend.

Why do you need to make a wish to get laid? You already have us to yell at you if you aren't feeling confident. Ignore this creepy stalker and go sign up for a dating site. If he really wants to meet you so badly, he'll have to wait in line like the rest of the guys/dick-havers/folk down to peg you(?) that you match with. No cutting!

>>1099661

Sorry google became a verb in one of our civilizations, it was a brand name of a search engine, we forget that translations sometimes are wonky. It's a form of 'genericide', like how aspirin is acetylsalicylic acid, and Kleenex is paper tissue and Band-Aid is adhesive bandage. You have the same sorts of things happen, right? Even if you don't have a free market economy (we don't know one way or another), there should still be brands, yea?

Anyway... so how well do you know if really skeevy dangerous businesses that lie a whole bunch... are those a thing here? Does the government do a good job at handling and preventing that kind of thing? Are there reputable that list reviews and whether or not something is a scam? Where do consumers go to educate themselves on if something is a good or a bad idea? For that matter, where would you go to find real, reputable information on being Called?

>Can't look at guys in loincloths cuz I get horny.
I think you may have actually suffer from some early stage of nymphomania.

Like, clinically. You should go to a professional about that before joining to anything.


Speaking of, let's ask some questions to this "Jack."
How big is this club? What things of note does it do besides these fights? What was your very private wish? Was it fame? Was it the heart-shaped spot? Was it causing money to appear every time you strip naked?

And, didn't you die on the way to your homeworld?!

Being hypersexual is generally described as an experience 'like torture'. IE, joke all you want but most people who have it describe it as being really really bad and unpleasant.