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Ginger Petal
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We walk through this disquieting chamber, the length of which feels like it begins to stretch in pace with our walking.
"This is a trap," I say to myself.
"Maybe it's a trap for whatever's being held back down here," says Once-Wish.
"We can only hope."
I look behind me, and see there is no sign of wherever we came in.
A bolt of fear lances through me. Once-Wish's eyes widen as he realises, independently, what situation we're in.
"...I'm looking at prices for Return-wind right now," he says, after he regains his composure. "There's getting completely lost in a forest with no witnesses, deliberately throwing yourself knowingly into a dangerous situation that must cause you harm, leaving something you treasure behind to be stolen by wild birds, there's so many options here, do any of these sound like a fair trade for us leaving right now? Right now? Please? Please??"
"I don't remember thinking of you as a coward."
"That's a complete lie. You've always seen me as something small and cowardly. Do I have to tear someone else limb from limb before you stop chaining me to that?"
This time, when I recall the flashes of violence, he doesn't resist the change, and tries to hold onto it. He stays in his general form as his snout lengthens, teeth enlargen, muscles bulge ever so slightly.
"I will force you to pay a price to get us out of here if I have to," he says, as he seizes an opportunity to steer my perception.
Sadly, I can still tap into his emotions, and I feel the overwhelming taint of desperation for me to buy into the act.
"You can do no such thing."
"I will! I will! I am-- I am using you to live, Lai, our hearts are connected, if you die so do I! You do not need to be awake to keep me alive! I will force... I will..." I see him tearing up, as we both realise that his abrupt effort to scare me into making him less of a coward isn't working at all.
He falls to his knees as his features return to normal, and tries to fight weeping openly. He fails.
"Lai, I just want us to go back home," he says, a pathetic mess. It's all I can see him as.
"Tch."
"Why are you so cruel today? This isn't like you!"
"Why are you so unstable?"
"I don't know! The Eye of the Yearning was staring into me earlier, it always makes me feel everything more than usual! I'm sorry for threatening you, I just don't want to be here!"
"Why not?! We've been in dangerous places before. Why this place, specifically??"
"I don't know! I feel so scared, Lai. I don't understand it. I don't have any answers! Please treat me with more patience, I beg you, your harsh judgement is hurting me," he says, desperately trying to choke back the tears. "Please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I would never hurt you on purpose, I just, I just thought scaring you might make me tougher, make me a better protector, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!! You must hate me. You should hate me!!"
I'm very annoyed, and yet my throat tightens as I watch him sob bitterly. I don't know what has him acting so weird, but there's a wide valley between irritation and hate.
I've tried again and again to reframe my perceptions to shape him more to what we want, but, no, it doesn't work like that. I don't know how it works. I think he's right. I think it's my reactions and perceptions on a level deeper than my conscious control can ever allow.
...I pull my hat down over my eyes so I can't see him as easily. For a moment, I wonder if his perception is affecting me, or if I really have become so cold and distant.
"I don't want to be this useless either, Lai!"
"You're not useless. I don't hate you, and you're not useless."
"I am! I am right now, anyway! Your judgement is right, it's always right! I'm a useless parasite, and all I do is make things worse, and I can't even tell you what's going on because I don't know either--"
He stops, and looks through his bleary tear-swimming eyes down the far end of this infinite obsidian pathway.
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