Martleby: Treasure
Flichard: Artifact
Burrrt: Relic

Exotic treasure: Artful Chinese Menu
Sacred: Fireworks
Divine: Pimped out flashy and tacky tire rims

All three of them have been tasked with finding a DIVINE RELIC.

I didn’t see no limits!

TO CLARIFY -

There are no restrictions on the tribute each CHAMPION has been tasked to recover! They can absolutely all be tasked to recover tributes of the same tier!

STAG 2023/05/07(Sun)06:11 No. 1062909 ID: e98f33
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>All ties in suggestions for the duration of this quest will be broken by the RULE OF CHAMPIONS: The MOST GLORIOUS slection will always be preferred!

The time of the ceremony is approaching, and the three MIGHTY CHAMPIONS are all getting MARRIED. According to the ANCIENT TRADITIONS, all three are brought before their BETROTHED QUEEN, THE ARBOREAL SOW as she dreams peacefully in a sacred clearing in the DARK HEART OF THE WOODS.

The three CHAMPIONS all approached their queen and knelt before her, that she may snort the secret desires of her PROPHETIC DREAMS directly into each of their ears.

MARTLEBY has been tasked to recover a DIVINE RELIC. The ARBOREAL SOW desires a tribute which is AS BEAUTIFUL AS SUN'S-RISE, FASCINATING AS A FOX'S SECRET, and PRECIOUS AS THE ARBOREAL CROWN which adorns her sacred brow.

FLICHARD has been tasked to recover a DIVINE RELIC. The ARBOREAL SOW desires a tribute which is BRIGHT AS FULL-MOON, LOUD AS THUNDER'S CRY, and TOUGH AS HEARTSWOOD OAK.

BURRRT has been taked to recover a DIVINE RELIC. The ARBOREAL SOW desires a tribute which is DARK AS A SNAKE'S HEART, OLD AS THE STARS, and VIBRANT AS RAINBOW'S KISS.

The three heroes all rose with BEASTLY PRIDE in their chests. Each has been tasked with the most GLORIOUS tributes that the queen has ever sought, which means they are recognized as THE MIGHTIEST CHAMPIONS. And so as the sun sets, they set about their task: To retrieve the tributes for their queen by dawn or perish in the attempt!

STAG 2023/05/07(Sun)06:25 No. 1062912 ID: e98f33
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The CHAMPIONS approach RICK'S PUMPIN' STUMP, a FORTRESS set at the boundary of the DOMAINS OF MAN; from which they keep watch at their borders and feed the IRON BEASTS with which they pursue their INSCRUTABLE DESIRES in the world beyond on vile ichor pumped from the HELL BENEATH THE WORLD. The SICKLY LIGHT emanates from within the fortress, and a SENTRY stands at the door, warding the BLACKENED FIELD around it with VILE INCENSE, perhaps to perform some unknown ritual.

This is only the first challenge presented to the CHAMPIONS on the eve of their weddings! They must pass the fort to enter the DOMAINS OF MAN where they will need to procure the DIVINE RELICS sought by their SACRED BRIDE. To successfully complete their quest, each must find a DIVINE RELIC that they believe will match the CRYPTIC DREAMS of their queen, take possession of it from the MEN OF CORNFLOWER STATION, and ESCAPE TO THE WOODS before Dawn arrives with their relics in tow!

The odds are stacked against them, but as MIGHTY CHAMPIONS the heroes are all capable of DARING FEATS. When attempting a DARING FEAT, there is a 1/3 chance of success. But success may INVIGORATE THEIR BEASTLY SPIRITS, and the surge of CONFIDENCE and POTENCY will lead them to be more capable of DARING FEATS going forward! But beware the folly of overconfidence!

The CHAMPIONS may also lay claim to the ESOTERIC ARTIFACTS OF MEN and repurpose them towards their own glorious ends! The FEEBLE CONSTRUCTIONS will not long survive the FEROCITY of their new owners, but may prove helpful in successfully completing DARING FEATS.

How should the CHAMPIONS proceed from here?

A distraction must be made to lure the sentry from his post. Burrt. As the most agile, it is your duty to circle around the fortress and disturb their relics. Surely the noise will prompt their investigation while the others storm gate.

Approach the man, tell him about your situation of seeking divine relics for your forest queen and ask were a temple of worship where consecrated relics may be found.
ACTUAL consecrated relics, you will not settle for trifle knick knacks found at a by-way station or a bartering store.

Flichard, put a bit old dent in the truck. The noise will lure them away

>>1062909
>AS BEAUTIFUL AS SUN'S-RISE, FASCINATING AS A FOX'S SECRET, and PRECIOUS AS THE ARBOREAL CROWN which adorns her sacred brow.
Hmm... Rubik's Cube? Maybe not precious enough. We probably need some kind of elaborate jewelry... or maybe the ARBOREAL CROWN isn't particularly precious since it's made of plants.
>BRIGHT AS FULL-MOON, LOUD AS THUNDER'S CRY, and TOUGH AS HEARTSWOOD OAK.
White megaphone. Or maybe a brightly colored chew toy.
>DARK AS A SNAKE'S HEART, OLD AS THE STARS, and VIBRANT AS RAINBOW'S KISS.
Something from hot topic, probably.

>>1062912
Somebody make some noise behind the store to distract him.

>DARK AS A SNAKE'S HEART, OLD AS THE STARS, and VIBRANT AS RAINBOW'S KISS. We need to steal a oil tanker truck.

>BRIGHT AS FULL-MOON, LOUD AS THUNDER'S CRY, and TOUGH AS HEARTSWOOD OAK.

A pickup truck with LED headlights and modified exhaust

STAG 2023/05/07(Sun)11:07 No. 1062927 ID: e98f33
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After almost no discussion, as the CHAMPIONS have a deep warrior's bond and understand one another's BEASTLY WILLs, BURRRT springs into action. He quickly slinks through the shadows off to the southern edge of the FORTRESS, and growls menacingly to attract the sentry's attention.

As the sentry turns to face Burrrt, Flichard seizes the moment! His POWERFUL AND MAJESTIC form flashes across the smooth, stony ground around the fortress, slamming into the IRON BEAST that rests within the CURIOUS RUNES that the Men have painted to contain it with the full force of his FURIOUS CHARGE! (DARING FEAT - SUCCESS!) The Door on the side buckles in on itself as the glass shatters. The beast wails in terror and pain as its eyes flash a terrified light into the night!

The Sentry jumps and utters unspeakable curses and nearly drops their incense as they turn back to run towards the carnage! but before they arrive, they are stopped! Burrrt and Flichard have done their work well, and Martleby has used their distractions to cross the full distance to the fortress and confronts the Sentry directly!

STAG 2023/05/07(Sun)11:23 No. 1062930 ID: e98f33
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The sentry stops as a POWERFUL arm thrusts forward to bar their path against the crystalline wall at the front of the fortress! Having been suitably distracted, MARTLEBY appears before them, steaming and glorious as the heat of his MAJESTIC body evaporates away the early evening dew!

The Sentry's draw hangs slack in awe and terror as MARTLEBY demands their attention and information! He declares that the CHAMPIONS OF THE WOOD have come to raid the lands of man on a SACRED DUTY, that to be MARRIED they must claim DIVINE RELICS from the lands of Man. No trifle knicknacks, but relics consecrated by their own right! He demands to know the location of Man's temple of Worship! (CRITICAL SUCCESS on his use of BOLD ORATORY for the DARING FEAT) Martleby SWELLS WITH BEASTLY POWER, and will now succeed on Daring Feats 50% of the time.

"W.what .. bro ... uh" the sentry stammers, "The church is like, it's saint michael's down on peterbury." The sentry seems to be some combination of AWED by the majesty of Martleby's form and MOVED by his passionate devotion to the SACRED QUEEN OF THE WOODS, and is cooperating despite their earlier fury over the distraction.

"BUt like, bro... Youre gonna have to wait bro... they already got like, a wedding going on tonight. And I don't think they're gonna let you in"

The sentry presses their incense burner to their lips, and inhales sharply, drawing the fumes into their lungs as half of the stick burns away in a single breath.

Martleby scoffs, surely a human wedding would be no more than a mockery of his own SACRED TRADITIONS!

"No, bro... like ..." Martleby notices that the sentry is not making eye contact, "Like your whole johnson is out bro. like its just out there. You're gonna get arrested bro..."

Martleby doesn't really understand what the problem is, but the sentry appears to be legitimately attempting to help. While he is a MIGHTY CHAMPION, doing battle with the warrior's of man is not something that will resolve itself quickly, and there are only 7 hours remaining before sunrise.

"Oh and also bro like," the sentry interjects as Martleby is DEEP IN HEROIC THOUGHT, "are you like ... some kind of monster or is this shit just like, way better than saul told me bro?"

The CHAMPIONS will each need to decide what to do next! They can split up whenever they like, though for now it seems all of their goal is to reach CORNFLOWER STATION. Is there anything remaining for them to do at the FORTRESS, or should they DASH INTO THE NIGHT in pursuit of their goals?

You are a CHAMPION. He should only hope to be as MAJESTIC as you. What direction is their church, You have a SACRED mission.

Oh, boy, these humans don't know of your peope and this sentry is asking if you are real or a vision of his fumes-addled brain. I'm unsure whether we should play along.

Not to mention we seem to need especial human wedding attire in order to be allowed entry to their temple and procure fitting relics.

We must inquire how to procure proper wedding attire and how to get to this Saint Michael's Peterbury Church.

Wedding attire? That sounds like a mockery to me! Show these humans no quarter, and let them be in awe of your IMMENSE TRADITIONS. Your only concern is whether this human wedding will be near to your SACRED GOAL at CORNFLOWER STATION.

>>1062930
Where may we find proper "WEDDING ATTIRE" to cover our POWERFUL and MAJESTIC bodies to infiltrate this SACRED PLACE?

Don't you DARE to cover up your MAJESTIC and GLORIOUS BODIES! What sort of GRAND TASK TAKERS would you be to buckle and break at the FEEBLE TRADITIONS of humans? You are LARGER then them! POSE WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT! SHOW these dwellers of the LAND OF MEN your BARE INTENTIONS, UNAFRAID! Maybe also get some SNACKS OF SUSTENANCE.

This human is attempting to be helpful, WE SHOULD BRING HIM WITH US SO THAT HE MAY HELP US NAVIGATE THE STRANGE HUMAN LANDS! just pick him up, he’s small.

distract them by sucking their dicks

MARTLEBY should tell the sentry that he, too, can become a CHAMPION like MARTLEBY.
If the sentry can prove his respect to the SACRED DUTY, then MARTLEBY would allow the sentry to meet the ARBOREAL SOW and become a MIGHTY CHAMPION.
If the sentry accepts, then MARTLEBY should strip the sentry naked (for GLORIOUS reasons) and let him ride on MARTLEBY's back, while providing assistance to the SACRED DUTY.

As for where to go next, BURRRT should visit the wedding - his dexterity will be necessary to evade the objects thrown at him. I'm sure one of the objects will end up being the divine relic he's looking for. MARTLEBY and FLICHARD should venture towards the CORNFLOWER STATION.

Our champions are going to get fucking shot. Maybe we're lucky and this is ENGLAND, or at least CANADA. Yeah take along the human, he can help guide the SOW's grooms in this FOREIGN REALM (and if not he'll at least be a useful HOSTAGE). Take a gander in the store first, maybe there's some LESSER ARTEFACTS or useful garbage to be had.