Buckwheat 2023/04/01(Sat)04:13 No. 1060175 ID: 15a025
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Gardening in the first few weeks of spring never has been easy. Especially when the chilly winds still blow! Today's a special day though! Today's the day-

Buckwheat 2023/04/01(Sat)04:13 No. 1060176 ID: 15a025
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You're going to finally blast the damn varmint who's eating all your vegetables! It's 'bout an hour to sun rise yet. How should you set up the garden for defense?

Barbed wire forcing it into a chokepoint. Maybe some sticky stuff in the chokepoint to slow it down so you can blast it.

break out all the stops. I'm talking tank traps, caltrops, hedgehogs, mines, the whole nine yards

step one is digging a trench, and filling it with old rusty nails and sharp farm equipment!

Set up tripwires tied to things that jangle to alert you!

you'll need a fire!
fire fixes all your problems.
Get the gasoline

Dig some trenches. Set up overlapping fields of machine gun nests.

Delegate quest protagonism to your male neighbour. Let him take care of it.

Don't forget to set out some veggies for bait. Make it easy, but not too easy. If that varmint digs them up, half-bury them.

>>1060222
Nah it's personal. She grew all that stuff with sweat and effort. Gotta blow the fuckers head off herself. Assistance in setting things up sounds like it'd be quite helpful though. Got any neighbors to enlist in your quest for cathartic vengeance?

1/3 Buckwheat 2023/04/01(Sat)16:58 No. 1060276 ID: 15a025
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>Trip Wire alarms
A perfect start. That way I'll hear the filthy furball coming while I'm busy setting other things up. I get sum ol' tin cans and string. Tie'em to something's 'round the garden.

>Barbed Wire fences
YEAH! That'll stop those nasty critters from crawling between the fence!

2/3 Buckwheat 2023/04/01(Sat)16:58 No. 1060277 ID: 15a025
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>Caltrops
Well I ain't got nothing fancy like that, but I do have a bunch of rusty nails. I sprinkle them around the area by the garden. My tin can fails, the wails of pain from steppin on these outta alert me.

>Trenches
I ain't got no time to dig up my yard. This varmint's tore up my yard enough as it is.

3/3 Buckwheat 2023/04/01(Sat)16:58 No. 1060278 ID: 15a025
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With all that set up now, and sun rising. It's time to garden! What shall I ten to first?

>>1060278
First look after your to-be-leafy greens.

man the machine guns!

Tend to the turnips.
Also plant some landmines.

carrots!

1/2 Buckwheat 2023/04/03(Mon)15:33 No. 1060483 ID: 15a025
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>First look after your to-be-leafy greens.
>Tend to the turnips.

Oh yes! Your prized turnips. You head over to your little turnip plot and check on them first.
You sigh with relief to see they filthy pests haven't gotten to them. Feeling the soil, it seems like the water hasn't either.

You head to the shed and fill up your watering can-

2/2 Buckwheat 2023/04/03(Mon)15:33 No. 1060484 ID: 15a025
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Ugh! What happened?! The can's leaking water!

Uh oh! Time to check for sabotage and for evidence of sappers!!

get duck tape
duck tape fixes everything
go find a duck

There's a hole in the bucket? Plug it with a stick.

1/3 Buckwheat 2023/05/09(Tue)19:40 No. 1063242 ID: 15a025
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>get duck tape duck tape fixes everything go find a duck
>There's a hole in the bucket? Plug it with a stick.
I grab a nearby duck and some sticks, and use them to plug up the hole in your watering can. I fill 'er up, and then water my prized turnips. With how the Stalk Market has been, I certainly cannot afford to lose these crops. No sir-ee.

2/3 Buckwheat 2023/05/09(Tue)19:41 No. 1063243 ID: 15a025
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Suddenly my ears stick up! While I'm watering my turnips I hear them tin cans jingle.
A little rabbit's made it over to my carrot field

Deer: "Hey you rotten rabbit! Get back 'ere with my carrots!"

I grab my shot gun and give chase. I try to fire off a shot, but I'm too trigger happy an miss the litte bugger.

3/3 Buckwheat 2023/05/09(Tue)19:42 No. 1063244 ID: 15a025
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"Ow! What in the-"
Another one! It's biting in my leg?! These things got a taste for blood now too or something?

>>1063244
Smash it with the butt of your shotgun. THEN EAT IT ALIVE RIGHT IN FRONT OF ITS FRIENDS

>>1063244
Its a two barrelled shotgun! Use the other barrel! Smoke HIM!

Is... is that duck okay?

>These things got a taste for blood now too or something?
Desperation move at seeing their friend shot at, maybe. Might too have a powerful grudge against deerkind - and a hunger to them. Didn't their own crops get chowed down on by that princess bunnylope? Wasn't your fault or problem then, but this is clearly your problem now.

Grab 'em by the scruff of their neck and ask what the hooey the small woodland folk think they're doing. They really gotten so short on perishables they gotta nab from the neighbor's afore her crops're even full grown?

Why risk it? You ain't no-one to mess with, so this is all but guaranteed to continue escalating if it goes on.

Buckwheat 2023/05/23(Tue)18:36 No. 1064440 ID: 15a025
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>Is... is that duck okay?
Yeah, probably.

>Desperation move at seeing their friend shot at, maybe. Might too have a powerful grudge against deerkind - and a hunger to them. Didn't their own crops get chowed down on by that princess bunnylope? Wasn't your fault or problem then, but this is clearly your problem now.
Princess who? You don't know about no bunnies yourself.

>Smash it with the butt of your shotgun.
>Its a two barrelled shotgun! Use the other barrel! Smoke HIM!
You bash the bun with gun butt, and shake the bugger off your leg.
Then you blast it, but you miss again! Stupid gun. It manages to scurry off.

Buckwheat 2023/05/23(Tue)18:36 No. 1064441 ID: 15a025
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Suddenly a gunshot blasts back at you!

Hit the deck!

Hit the deck, yeah - but can you tell where it's coming from?

>>1064441
Get behind cover, yell at the offending shooter.

Tell them deer season ended months ago!!!