Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/02(Sun)01:08 No. 1060302 ID: dc13c4
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Ah yes, the noble watermelon some say that this fruit might hold miserable power. Whenever it is pushed to its breaking point it can accomplish things that some think are impossible like recycling plastic and legalizing prostitution but what is the breaking point of a watermelon?

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/02(Sun)01:09 No. 1060303 ID: dc13c4
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Well, it appears to be a dildo projectile flying at a fast speed and with that we...

Placeholder name: "Alright no narration in this quest this will not have any backstories, any monologues, or any twists. This isn't my mom's quest this is my quest and it is time for me to start living my own life."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/02(Sun)01:11 No. 1060304 ID: dc13c4
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Placeholder name: "Well it is more that I was forced to do so by being ordered to leave my mom's house by my mom. She tells me that I need to get a job but I am already gay, and she doesn't see that as a real job. I am telling you, butler it is really hard sometimes being me, if I could give it all away I wouldn't because having a job sucks."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S7LbsSM0eY&ab_channel=Yuri2356

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/02(Sun)01:11 No. 1060305 ID: dc13c4
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Placeholder name: "Ever since I was a little kid everybody asked me what I would like to be when I grow up and I just said why would I want to be anything other than myself and then proceeded to capoeira dance to death all my opponents."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/02(Sun)01:12 No. 1060306 ID: dc13c4
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Buff butler: "Sir I do like listening to your monologues but the tea made of tears of vegans will evaporate if you don't ingest them."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/02(Sun)01:13 No. 1060307 ID: dc13c4
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Placeholder name: "Well before I enjoy my drink I first have to decide what my name should be. My mom called me Placeholder name in order to give me a hint that I should change it. Then I should decide what I should do with my life because my mom tells me that I should do something. And finally, I have to decide what I should plan to overcome in my life. For my mom, it was a market manager but for me, it has to be something much grander something much bigger something that will change the world!"

Your name is The Cantaloupe Werewolf.

If your mom didnt care enough to name herself, neither should you.

Orangey

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/14(Fri)12:23 No. 1061384 ID: dc13c4
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Placeholder name: "From now on I will be referred to as The Cantaloupe Werewolf. If my mom didn't care enough to name me, neither should I, so I will be called by what I am. All my friends will refer to me as that."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/14(Fri)12:24 No. 1061385 ID: dc13c4
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Placeholder name: "All my enemies will refer to am as Orangey!"

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/14(Fri)12:26 No. 1061386 ID: dc13c4
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Placeholder name: "And finally all my special friends will refer to me as Ass Blaster 9000!"

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/14(Fri)12:27 No. 1061387 ID: dc13c4
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Cantaloupe Werewolf: "Now hand over that little teacup so that I can finally enjoy my lubrication."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/14(Fri)12:28 No. 1061388 ID: dc13c4
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Cantaloupe Werewolf: "Also what is on our today's to-do list, I don't plan to do anything so I expect you to say nothing."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/14(Fri)12:29 No. 1061389 ID: dc13c4
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Buff Butler: "Well Master Orangey, unfortunately for today there is somebody who wants to talk to you and it is your Mom. Here she is right now."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/14(Fri)12:30 No. 1061390 ID: dc13c4
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Mom: "Hello sweety, I hope that I am not interrupting your masturbation section. I just wanted to..."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/14(Fri)12:31 No. 1061391 ID: dc13c4
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Mom: "Uhh how disgusting, you are having outlines! I thought you would grow up out of them. It was okay at first when you were sleeping in bed with them but now you are going on all around with them. What would your father think if he saw you right now."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/04/14(Fri)12:32 No. 1061392 ID: dc13c4
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Cantaloupe Werewolf's inner thoughts: "Oh shit it is my mom. I don't know what she has planned for me but I better think of something to distract her. She is not a protagonist of this quest and she needs to appear in it as little as possible!"

Pull out one of those little pocket flip-mirrors and talk to her through the reflection, in order to assert dominance by minimizing the amount of space she takes up in each panel.

Point behind her and say "whats that over there?!" As soon as she turns around, RUN!

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/06/02(Fri)02:10 No. 1065007 ID: dc13c4
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Cantaloupe Werewolf: "You know I was just tempted to distract you and then run away. But this is a more fitting way to keep you out of MY QUEST!"

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/06/02(Fri)02:11 No. 1065008 ID: dc13c4
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Cantaloupe Werewolf: "So what did you want to talk to me about? I am all ears and you are just out of frame."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/06/02(Fri)02:12 No. 1065009 ID: dc13c4
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Mom: "That is my little sweet peach! You know I was just teasing you about the whole way how you look, I get it it is a stylistic choice to have outlines and also you were drawn by somebody completely different. No matter who you are and who you love I will always love you."

Cantaloupe Werewolf: "Mom! Stop hugging me in front of the quest participators it is humiliating!"

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/06/02(Fri)02:14 No. 1065010 ID: dc13c4
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Mom: "Yeah I get it this is your story and don't worry I won't be part of it. This is just me making a short cameo before going on my own adventure of liquidating all our assets and dogging assassinations."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/06/02(Fri)02:16 No. 1065011 ID: dc13c4
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Mom: "The thing is the whole thing with the Lemon Stan and NFTs completely collapsed, a lot of people are made at me, even the president of the United state of Mcdonald's is going to Heaven and dragging stan out of the condo which he bought there to the supreme court hearing. To make a long story short a lot of shit has happened and it is time for us to disappear. That is why I should implore you to meet with Mister Sleazy Mc Cockballs in order to create your own religion. That is the only way to reach the final form of financial independence and for you to become a big shot. Morality only applies to those who sell it, the only morality that we rely on is the maze that is printed on the back of a cereal box, find the exit and don't get lost."

Absurdity DeVoid 2023/06/02(Fri)02:18 No. 1065012 ID: dc13c4
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Sarcastic Thoughts of Cantaloupe Werewolf: "This sound a lot like getting a job, and creating my own religion is that what I really want to do? Not to mention that I really don't like Mister Sleazy, he taught me how to read cards, commit tax fraud and even fake my death. All of this reminds me of that one time I wanted a piercing and my mom while drunk wanted to do it herself, so instead of getting a piercing, I got a circumcision and it was only Tuesday."