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Why are eleven paragraphs of bacon metaphor even necessary to explain one's sexuality.
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File 132332460705.jpg - (694.68KB , 2000x2000 , 1323323903431.jpg )
19343 No. 19343 ID: 21a619

You have to write fapfiction of whatever you roll
Have at it.
Expand all images
>>
No. 19354 ID: 834778

I suspect that this was designed for faster boards.
>>
No. 19355 ID: 834778

>>19354
Nevertheless, I shall take advantage of this slow board.
>>
No. 19356 ID: 597dc4

rolled 17 = 17

lets see what i get...
>>
No. 19357 ID: 597dc4

>>19356
sea nymph... Ah, I got it.

"And the sea nymphs decided to have an orgy, THE END."

how'd i do guys?
>>
No. 19358 ID: 834778

>>19354
>>19355
You are walking in the old temple where the elders told you to go to. You're are carrying your LONG SWORD and your POLISHED SHIELD. As you make footsteps noises in the dusty hallways, you can hear the SLITHER SOUNDS. Then you say out loud, "I know you are there Medusa!" and then she says "Hello!" back at you. She opens the doorway and steps outside to you, and you don't look at her. "That's enough" you say "stop right there!" You can't tell but you know she is looking at you. "Someone wants to hurt me badly" she says "what did I do?" She is talking about the elder whos sent you on the quest to kill the Medusa. You look at her in the reflection of your sword "its is because you are a Medusa!" Then she says "what if I can do you a favour will you not hurt me." You say to her back "I don't know it would have to be a really good favour" while she slithers towards at you. Medusa gets close at you and rubs her breasts on your manbreasts and you look at them because it okay to look at Mesuda's breasts because her breasts don't have Medusa eyes on them. They really good breasts and you are aroused by the breasts. "What if the really good favour is a sexual favour" she says and you say "Well it would have to be a really good sexual favour." Then she makes a hand move and takes of your pants in the move and you aren't wearign pants now. "Let me look into your eye" Medusa says, "No you will turn me into a stone man" you says. "Not those eyes I am talking about the penis eye" and then Medusa looks into your penis eye and your penis gets really hard. "Oh no" you cry because your sad "you turned my penis into stone and now I can't use it". Medusa says to you "don't worry because I have a stone vagina." She puts your stone penis into her Medusa stone vagina and then there are grinding sounds like the sound of a stone penis in a stone vagina. "Oh man that feels really could" you say to her breasts "I am going to cum soon". You cum soon and you cum gravel because all of your sperms turned to gravel when she turned your penis to stone. "That felt really good" you and Medusa say at the same time. Then you look sad and Medusa says "why do you look sad" and you say "because I have to kill you now" and she says "darn" and then you cut off her breasts which have magical powers. Then you go home with her breasts. Then end.
>>
No. 19360 ID: 92e8cb

>>19358
That was the best thing I have ever read in my life.
>>
No. 19362 ID: 834778
File 132335571096.png - (4.42KB , 148x122 , 1298379635677.png )
19362

rolled 92 = 92

Alright, gonna roll the proper way this time, since I forgot rolling that way is a thing you can do.
>>
No. 19363 ID: 834778
File 132335849483.png - (10.77KB , 355x367 , 1297848777106.png )
19363

>>19362
I... I don't know what that is.
>>
No. 19364 ID: 0d7a83
File 132335940025.jpg - (32.27KB , 640x480 , glorious.jpg )
19364

>>19358
>>
No. 19368 ID: 2563d4

>>19358
You've been reading Cockhole's favourites list, haven't you.
>>
No. 19369 ID: 1854db

>>19363
It's from Deadlands. I forget exactly what they are.
>>
No. 19373 ID: 43d730

>>19363
All I remember is that they're dead but can not know it and also demons are maybe involved somehow.
Because everything in deadlands runs on demons.
>>
No. 19379 ID: 51839b

>>19363
Less-vague. Harrowed are people brought back from the dead by being posessed by a Manitou, a sort of demon. At times this demon can take control and wreak havoc.
>>
No. 19452 ID: c71597

rolled 15 = 15

>>19343
Ok, lets do things thing! YEAH!
>>
No. 19453 ID: c71597

>>19452
Hmm, 15. Ok, pirates are go. Now to figure stuff out. Yeah this should work, prepare yourselves for a work of art that shall rock you to the very core of your souls.
>>
No. 19454 ID: c71597

Bob the seaman was terrified, his ship was under attack by pirates and now it was sinking rapidly. He quickly prayed fervently to be saved from the pirates and that his piece of floatsoam would drift to saftey. Nobody was listening though, and as he drifted closer to the pirate ship he heard that they had spotted him and was preparing to pull him up.

Bob had heard the tales about these amazonian pirates, tales that terrified him to the depths of his soul. Tales of captured men being forced to do horrible and degrading things for them, such decadent acts that he dared not even think of them.

As he was pulled up on the deck he was put face to face with the captain. A huge voluptous and muscular woman with fiery red hair. She looked him over like he was a thing and he felt shame into the depths of his very being.

"Yarr, this be a nice piece of booty ye dragged up from the sea my wenches."

Her voice was husky and deep, matching her powerful looks.

"W-w-what will you do with me?" whimpered Bob the Seaman.

She looked him over again from top to toe, as if evaluating what uses to put him to.

"Me thinks we shall find something for ye to do, better follow me to me cabin."

Bob followed her meekly to the cabin, fearing for his saftey and soul during the entire time.

Once he entered the cramped cabin his eyes were immediatly drawn to the luxorious bath and the large comfy looking bed. He feared what would come next, but he was also deep down starting to look forward to getting it done.

He went up next to her on the bed and sat down near her feet, wondering what task she would have for him.

"'re ye good with ye tool?"

"I would like to think I'm competent." Bob answered with some trepidation.

"Good, 'cause I be needing ye to clean out me pipes."

"B-b-but it has been so long since I did that, I'm not sure I can do it adequately." Truth being told it had been a very long time, their journey had dragged on for a long time when they had ben stuck at sea.

"Never ye fear my lad, we have plenty of time." She pushed him towards the bath "Plenty of time."

The end.
>>
No. 19456 ID: 4bdd79

rolled 33 = 33

>>19343
>>
No. 19457 ID: 4bdd79

rolled 90 = 90

>>19456
>>
No. 19458 ID: 4bdd79

rolled 97 = 97

>>19457
ffs
>>
No. 19460 ID: 4bdd79

>>19458
The dice are fucking with me
>>
No. 19462 ID: c71597

>>19460
No love for the Chubby Elves?
>>
No. 19467 ID: 784dcc

(roll d80s instead)
>>
No. 19468 ID: 597dc4

why is everyone a bob, hey you bobs- stop that!
>>
No. 19469 ID: 4e0b2f

You asswagons; you're supposed to roll with your post number!
>>
No. 19470 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132367061883.png - (3.36MB , 2000x2000 , tgchan rolling chart.png )
19470

So, uh, I kind of made a /quest/ version of this. I didn't have the time to finish it, so the last 5 frames aren't changed and there's no numbers and names. I also kept the text boxes because holy shit I don't think there's enough notable characters to fill those in.

If anyone feels the need, they can go ahead and finish it.
>>
No. 19471 ID: b65283

rolled 25, 62 = 87

Rolling for jape grustice
>>
No. 19472 ID: e3f578

>>19471
Wait, you rolled two dice
Does that mean you're writing fiction with those two characters in it, or are gonna write for 87?
>>
No. 19473 ID: b65283

As soon as I can remember where number twenty five is from, then probably neither because I'm a suck ass writer.

Or I might booze it up tomorrow and write some magical fiction between Shabin and random guy. I think that would go up like a lead balloon.
>>
No. 19475 ID: cdb8cb

rolled 70 = 70

>>19470

c'mon 93
>>
No. 19477 ID: 597dc4

rolled 7 = 7

whut the, Starshroi is on this list!?

Man, now i gotta roll for this one.
>>
No. 19478 ID: 597dc4

>>19477

john, welp- i'm screwed.

John rapes everyone, THE END!
>>
No. 19479 ID: 453e62

>>19473
25 is Ayu from Beyond. she is also a girl.
>>
No. 19481 ID: f5e4b4
File 132370292639.png - (3.02MB , 2000x2000 , They_see_me_rollin.png )
19481

I took the liberty of filling up the last squares. Enjoy.
>>
No. 19482 ID: 0f546c

rolled 68, 38, 8, 66, 35 = 215

>>19343
rolling for the first one a bunch of times just in case i get 22, or if i get something that forces me into a single universe (like twi'lek – fuck that noise, in effect it becomes "you must write a star war fanfic"), or some combination of both. also because if i actually do this it'll probably be fun and i'll want to do it again. i can just get all the rolling out of the way now.
>>
No. 19484 ID: 2563d4

>>19469
This board moves slowly enough that the last two digits of a post can be pretty easily predicted.

>>19470
I was waiting for Slowpoke to get to 100 on his Women of Quest thing, but hadn't really paid attention to this having text. There are probably enough races already, since I think he's into high-80s.
>>
No. 19487 ID: 5aae31
File 132372764725.jpg - (12.69KB , 192x192 , no I won\'t deal with it.jpg )
19487

>>19481
>They use an awful picture of Liam on there from like two years ago instead of something more recent, like the chapter start or the dancing outfit
>No Kyaos
>>
No. 19492 ID: 1854db

>>19481
>Sorg
Why would you do that. They're supposed to be attractive in some manner. And actually it's supposed to be all females so you failed big time.

>Herbert
He's a ROBOT. He doesn't count.
>>
No. 19493 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132373911526.png - (3.25MB , 2000x2000 , there\'s your damn birdies.png )
19493

>>19487
There, I fixed it, you big whiner.
>>
No. 19494 ID: 9c7c3b

>>19492
>Sorg
Because it's so much more interesting to put "bad" rolls as well. In fact, brb, replacing all text boxes with Flails.

>And actually it's supposed to be all females so you failed big time.
YOU try finding enough recognizable female quest characters to fill it up. Also, considering TGchan is ~50% gay-or-bi, it's only fair that male choices are included as well.
>>
No. 19495 ID: d60822

>>Sorg
You mean Sourg?
>Why would you do that. They're supposed to be attractive in some manner.
Sorg is powerful, which is attractive. But nobody agreed to any such rule.

>And actually it's supposed to be all females so you failed big time.
Your opinions are shit.
>>
No. 19505 ID: f72f26

problems with chart as I see it

5 sergals, 7 kobolds yet 0 gnolls; this is unacceptable
cutegal should be replace with Fireclaw to rectify this
4 kobolds from chee quest is way too many and should be brought down to 2

Rina's picture has not resized well
http://tgchan.org/kusaba/questdis/src/132271216163.jpg
this picture should be used instead

having both flarey and Rynh's mom is redundant
having bothe sauria and her mom is redundant

chloe needs a more recent picture, she's barely even recognizable

Cirr feels to many of his characters from a single quest are on this list

Riardia story teller is not a noteable character, and should be replaced by Roqan or Shyen

having more than 2 characters from a single quest seems excesive in general

>>19501
you got your lawyer volto character, you'll accept your one character on the character on the chart and like it!

these are just my thoughts on the chart,
not trying to be insulting or hostile just trying to help
>>
No. 19507 ID: 2563d4

>>19505
It uses individuals whereas the original uses races. (Mostly.)

Honestly, just using Slowpoke's chart solves a lot.
>>
No. 19509 ID: d60822

>>19505
I agree with these proposed changes.
>>
No. 19510 ID: 9c7c3b

>>19505
Good suggestions, but I think that limiting the chart to one character per author or per quest is way too restrictive. I'm trying to avoid having to use characters that aren't really recognizable, say from one-off quests in the graveyard.

I'll probably have an updated version later today, but anyone else can go ahead and do it if they want.
>>
No. 19511 ID: cfa804

Holy fuck how about adding ONE of MiB/Alloter's characters? He's been consistently updating his quest for like two years and not a single mention of him ever comes up, while you've got several of the same authors, same quests, no matter how short lived any of them are.
>>
No. 19512 ID: 3af198

>>19510
I haven't said anything about 1 character per author
but that said 4+ character all from the same quest is too much for a chart with less than 80 options

>>19507
using slowpokes chart brings about a whole new series of problems
>>
No. 19514 ID: d60822

>>19510
>Good suggestions, but I think that limiting the chart to one character per author or per quest is way too restrictive.
It's not a proposed hard limit, but right now there's way more from some quests than from others which deserve it equally.
>I'm trying to avoid having to use characters that aren't really recognizable, say from one-off quests in the graveyard.
There's a hell of a lot of recognizable characters that aren't represented. Where's Cora from Apocalyption? Where's Mordre from GolemQuest? And the authors that you do have are fairly questionable choices too. Like, is Moriga really more recognizable than Flails Breaker or Jim Crow?


tl;dr: It is not perfect.
>>
No. 19516 ID: bdb886

>>19514
>Where's Mordre

Back with the other text quest characters. :V
>>
No. 19518 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132382556630.png - (3.24MB , 2000x2000 , nitpicking.png )
19518

:unicode:
So, I ran out of time today, this is all I got done. Changed out a few characters and updated a few portraits.

>Holy fuck how about adding ONE of MiB/Alloter's characters?
I added August. I have to say, I'm not an active reader of his quests so I'm not all that familiar with his characters. Also, it was difficult as fuck to find a recent image of him that wasn't too dark or small.

>Where's Cora from Apocalyption?
Added.
>Where's Mordre from GolemQuest?
As soon as I can find an "official" image. The ones in the original posts are pretty inconsistent so I'm not trusting them. They're also pretty small and low-quality.
>Like, is Moriga really more recognizable than Flails Breaker or Jim Crow?
I had thought about using Flails, but I can't add him without either 1: Having more than two characters from the quest, 2: replacing Spikesby, or 3: Invoking a sausage fest. I chose Moriga cause of dem hips. And Jim Crow would probably be one too many of Bitequest's characters.
>>
No. 19519 ID: e3f578

there are two chloes
>>
No. 19520 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132382658452.png - (3.30MB , 2000x2000 , fuck.png )
19520

>>19519
...fuck. how did I manage that. I just made a derp, didn't I?
>>
No. 19521 ID: a4a7f4

man 99 spaces but none of them have any of my characters
>>
No. 19529 ID: 453e62
File 132384140006.jpg - (749.38KB , 1478x1478 , 1263441707801.jpg )
19529

it's cause the base chart is shit at making shipping. it's for YOU and whatever you roll. as in first person stories. but think it has far too many.
this one would be a better base.
>>
No. 19530 ID: 5aae31
File 132384215703.png - (56.24KB , 400x400 , no shockwave.png )
19530

>>19514
>Modre
No.

Also, this chart isn't about recognizable characters, it's about characters who people have as waifus. So if a character isn't waifu/husbando material, they shouldn't be on here.

It's why I'm personally glad Liam is on here instead of Tienaye or someone, though an argument could be made for Fuschio Falto.
>>
No. 19531 ID: 597dc4

buh wha... hhuh... so wait, only one from me? I guess i'll have to be content with pont on the list then....

did not think that he'd make it to husbando status with muschio though
>>
No. 19532 ID: 2563d4
File 132384817057.png - (4.46KB , 800x600 , meep-rollan-board.png )
19532

Hey guys I made a new one based on your favourite pastime.
>>
No. 19535 ID: 97cc92

Obviously you need to go back to the old Anonymous thread and find the posts where people said which quest characters they would fuck.
>>
No. 19536 ID: 597dc4

>>19535

Links, you fool! Links!
>>
No. 19538 ID: 1bd2f4

I am quite honoured to see Mr Eagle on there
>>
No. 19540 ID: 21a619

>>19530
Mordre is my waifu.
>>
No. 19545 ID: 784dcc

am I this bored?
>>
No. 19546 ID: 784dcc

rolled 27, 49 = 76

no, merely this sickness-induced judgmentally impaired
>>
No. 19547 ID: 049dfa

I'm seeing an awful lot of rolls and not a lot of fapfics.

Also the original thing isn't even specific characters, it's just races.
>>
No. 19548 ID: 784dcc

Necromancer's bone
Curvy naga encircled
Life came for them then.

The Wizard, making zombies from oils
Was entrapped in serpentine coils
Much to his surprise
His bone did arise
and sprayed into naga its spoils

Mino Thodren young goatgirl Nan did spy
His great weapon she could not pass by
They played and they played
And a secret they made:
How she left with just a black eye.

>>
No. 19549 ID: 049dfa

>>19548

That middle limerick there is the most amazing thing
>>
No. 19566 ID: 8c0848

Here I go.
>>
No. 19567 ID: 8c0848

rolled 55 = 55

>>19566
For reals this time.
>>
No. 19571 ID: 8c0848

rolled 99 = 99

>>19567
Having a choice defeats the purpose. Rerolling.
>>
No. 19572 ID: 8c0848

rolled 26 = 26

God damn it.
>>
No. 19575 ID: b65283

Ahahaha, Gnoll getting the flattest of characters. I teeheed
>>
No. 19576 ID: f72f26

I rolled with my real life dice and got Taysa and Tav, this is their story . . .

Tav Tasers Tayza's tits

Tayza : "ebveryone tnhinks I am a lesbian, but I am not"
Tave: " every one thinks I am homo too, we should have sex to prove how strait we are and theen tape it and put it on the internet so people will know we are straight."
Tayza: "no I am to bitchy for something like sex, alls o I am really mean and olnly like hurting people."
Tav: " oh yeah?"
Tav takes out his taser gun spear thing and then Tav tasers taysa's tits(but he doesn't spear her, he already took the spear out, he just wants to shock her)
But Tayza was not hurt by the tayzer because she was a majibeast and invincable, insteadle it turned her on (haha because it is like electric) and maybe made her super horny too.
Tayza: "I change my mind ,t hat felt super good and now I feel less bitchy and want to have lost of sex, lots of esesx with you Tav!"
tav smiles and blushes, "I am glad you feel that way, but I am a virgin and do n't know how"
Tayza smiles"that's okay I'm not actually hating sex, I actually have lots of it, but since there are normally no boys around I have to have sex with girls. but I prtend I don't because I want beople to think I am straight"

Tav: but why do you want to have sex with me?"
Tayza: Because I 'm also Bi-sexual and want to have sex with you anyways"
Tav: yippe!"
and then Tav and Tayza had sex and they used the taser gun as a dildo which was okay because they bothe had a getting shocked fetish, also they videotaped it and sent tapes to demesi and sekani.
demesi was super sad because he wanted tav to be gay so they could keep having homo sex, but now his dream was over and he would be super sad for a long time
Sekani thought the tapes were the sexiest thing ever and them masturbated to the tapes every day for the frest of his life, also he wrote a boutk about the tapes which became a best seller
tav and tayseqa had a hundred babies and every one except demesi lived happily ever after

THE END
>>
No. 19581 ID: ec0bf5

I'm just looking at this chart a bit confused about a few things. First, what's the point of all the roll again squares? They don't do anything and you could fit a full twenty more things on there if you removed them. Also I'm confused at your choice of characters, because if the point was to select notable characters there are several for which there are probably much better choices.
>>
No. 19582 ID: d9acf2

>>19576
I laughed. I cried. Five stars. Two thumbs up. 10/10. Bestseller, blockbuster, award winner, ect.

When will the movie version come out?
>>
No. 19583 ID: 453e62

>>19581
indeed, roll agains should bounce out.
>>
No. 19585 ID: 9c7c3b

>>19581
Examples would be nice. If I get enough I'll replace the text boxes.
>>
No. 19590 ID: 784dcc

(to roll with d80 use the ones digit to select column then tens to decide how many down to go, skipping over the "rerolls")

Also skip Chloe 'cause someone put her on the diagonal I dunno why
>>
No. 19592 ID: 5aae31

rolled 43 = 43

Alright, I'm bored, let's see what happens.
>>
No. 19593 ID: 5aae31

rolled 35 = 35

and the second roll
>>
No. 19596 ID: f5e4b4

>>19581

The text boxes give you plot devices that you must follow in the creation of the fapfiction.

And Trout did a personal selection of characters, if anyone disagrees it they can simply edit the characters they want or make a completely new chart, for what's worth it.

There should be more fapfiction-writing and less ego-stroking in this thread.
>>
No. 19598 ID: 453e62

>>19596
except the text requires it to be YOU(the audience) and whatever thing you roll going at it normally. we roll as character1 + character2 going at it. which makes the text boxes fail to work at all. maybe change 00 to "roll twice, is now a three way"
>>
No. 19600 ID: 3ffa89

That is fucking retarded. Stop being retarded.

If you're rolling two characters and hit a text box, the first character stands in for 'you' and the second is as normal.

How could you possibly be stupid enough to not figure thY out?
>>
No. 19603 ID: 845ba5

Write porn from first person? Gross.
>>
No. 19604 ID: 2563d4

>>19576
This is, to my mind, the true epilogue to both Journey and Tezakia Quests.
>>
No. 19606 ID: 973143

>>19603

I do not and will probably never understand what people here will define as the borders between 'sexy', 'hilarious' and 'gross'.

It's a conundrum even if you don't factor in the sarcasm.
>>
No. 19609 ID: 1444d5

>want to roll two characters
>one roll hits text box
>roll again
Is it really that hard?
>>
No. 19610 ID: 4183c9

>>19609
Wait, wait, what if... what if it doesn't hit the text box and you've only rolled once? What are you supposed to do then?
>>
No. 21633 ID: 433031

pposting
>>
No. 21636 ID: d7e757

Bluh bluh
>>
No. 21637 ID: d7e757

>Roll again
>>
No. 21638 ID: fe03f4

>>19343
Well rolling
>>
No. 21639 ID: fe03f4

>>21638
Fuck yea lamia.
>>
No. 21647 ID: fe3062

Let's see what I get!
>>
No. 21653 ID: 2ae337
File 134111614664.png - (376.15KB , 428x603 , Don_rio.png )
21653

"I shall prepare myself for inscription of fantasy words of masturbation-energization."
>>
No. 21654 ID: 2ae337

rolled 81 = 81

"I seem to have forgotten proper rolling of the baby bones"
>>
No. 21656 ID: 2ae337

rolled 1 = 1

"There was no woman of visible shape for proper sexual encounter. I will roll the baby bones again."
>>
No. 21657 ID: 2ae337

"So once upon times, I was walking in the forest with my big stick when I see this clearing. In the clearing I see a green woman, this dryad sunbathing herself in a patch of sun. She did not notice my presence or she did not care of my audience as she continued to writhe and flex on the grey rock which she had lay herself, moaning as the sun slowly warmed her."
>>
No. 21658 ID: 2ae337
File 134111669558.png - (860.26KB , 763x707 , And_then_I_fucked_it.png )
21658

"So I grab her, this plant woman...um. Then I fuck her. This plant girl."

"The End."
>>
No. 21672 ID: 927efa
File 134130458049.gif - (1.78MB , 357x296 , applause.gif )
21672

>>
No. 24908 ID: 1766db

>>19510
As flattered as I am that Kassandra was on there, she was in a one-off quest
>>
No. 24913 ID: 405647

Okay, seriously, Squeegy, read the dates of the last posts in threads. You are responding to a post that is over two years old. Consider this an official warning. Knock it off.
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