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7505 No. 7505 ID: 3bad4c

Once upon a time there was an advanced civilisation that lived on a floating island in the sky. Occasionally young people would survive traumatic events and awaken unstable powers within themselves.
Obviously the civilisation did not take kindly to such disruptive people, so each was systematically exiled until they were deemed stable and responsible enough to return.
Each group was given a robotic minder to assist them in their journey, and they were given forced learning so they could apply their talents.

This is the story of one of these groups.
Tensiu chose to become a warlock. However, the civilisation did not have a stock of any catalyst that he required to awaken his powers. Thus, he had to wait until he killed a fey and drank its blood before he could shoot eldritch blasts. When he did so, he decided to take several more vials of this fey blood, something the DM had not anticipated to have rules for at the time.
The DM ruled that the blood would be an extra boost on the eldritch blast damage, but decided to keep the actual bonus damage secret.

Later, after some adventuring the party came to a nation of many small allied states ruled by Lords. After meeting a previous group of this advanced civilisation, Lord Filn Daran VII knew that they did not share the same cultural mores nor respect for authority. He declared that they would not be given permission to cross his borders into neighbouring lands until they could demonstrate the appropriate behaviour.
Thus he sent the adventurers as bodyguards for his daughter, a Paladin/Knight, on a brief sojourn South. She would be able to attest whether they were model citizens or not.
It turns out they were not.
After encountering a flotsam ooze in a river — an ooze with a very resilient adhesive — the party prankster decided to coat the inside of Tensiu's pants with the creature's remains. Tensiu soon put his pants back on, having taken them off for the river crossing, and found they were sticky. He attempted to remove them by taking 20. The DM asked if he was sure he wanted to take 20, he replied that he was. Thus, Tensiu ripped his pants by pulling them too hard.
Enraged by the loss of his pants, Tensiu drank a vial of fey blood. The prankster announced that his Dexterity should be treated as 0 because he wasn't dodging, for a total AC of 5. Before the DM could say anything, Tensiu's player announced his attack.
He rolled a 1.
Annoyed by the constant childishness of his players, the DM decided that this ray attack was going to have a chance of hitting a nearby party member, so he asked the player to roll again.
He rolled a 20. A critical threat! Time to roll again.
Another 20.
Fine, thought the DM. He grabbed 4d6 and asked the player to roll for damage. The DM added the 4d6 for the fey blood.
17 points.
Roll again, the DM said.
16 points.
I'm dead, said the nearby PC's player.
The robot, being a super robot, brought that player character back from the dead for a minor sum of 1000gp.
The Lord's daughter immediately placed Tensiu under arrest for manslaughter.
The Lord is probably not going to give him permission to visit any neighbouring states. It would not be polite.
No. 7654 ID: 84b792

>thou draws out Leviathan with a hook
>it wants to fuck
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