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Blue Evening Berry
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The inventory looks suspiciously like that of a famous grocery store franchise, with all kinds of back-to-basics foodstuffs designed, seasoned, and packaged in weird ways - not insane weird, just parody weird. I'll try to compare the products with stuff I found at the other store, see if their tactics can make a selling point.
>Sublime bar
You might be thinking, "gee whiz, why should I spend an extra dollar for some flavoring"? Well, you buxom fluffy, have you ever tried such a unique flavor as lime? Now you may be thinking to yourself, if I'm going to spend 'two dollahz' on this lime bar, why don't I just spend 'one dollah...z' to make some my-INCORRECT! You'd be wasting time, ingredients, and would need a high-school degree in confectionery to get it just right on the first try! We dare to come up with different flavors, and we use science and experimentation to optimize the recipe, and risk defaulting on a large inventory so that YOU, the customer, can try these creatively interesting treats! And that's not even getting to the best part - LOOK at these nutrition facts! You read it right, this entire bar is a mere 300 calories! Not 900, not 600, but an easy 300! Why even the carbohydrates are a mere 30g, and we only needed ten grams of sugar to get that sweet-lime flavor just right! So go ahead and try a bit of lime with your next candy bar! But please hurry! If you find that hint of zesty lime simply sublime, get as much as you can before we have to dare again with our next amazing flavors!
>Carmel Sample Box
(Huh, it's spelled Caramel and pronounced "carm-l", but nobody cares. Just call it "care-a-mel" and move on. I'd estimate about 8X8X4=256 caramels in this little box, so let's go with that.) Sample over TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY SIX FLAVORS with this amazing sample box of caramel treats! Toffee! Coffee! Flan! Buttermilk! ButterSCOTCH! Chocolate! Fudge! Spicy! Cadbury! GOO! (that last part is because the Cadbury company in our world has some @#$%ed-up commercials, replace 'cadbury' with whatever confectionary company uses commercials where their products commit suicide to show off all the sweet gooey cream filling), over fifteen different pieces of candy per dollar, it's a steal for parties!
>Thunder Shots
Save a ton of money on red wine with these alcohol-filled chocolate bottles! Just whip them out and you've got enough novelty to feed your friends a satisfying nibble of wine to go with their chocolate tasting! WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?! Only $50, buy a bunch and spend the rest of your wine money on the lesbian app Haymaker!
Also, the grocery store that sells stuff like this really can get weirder than this. I mean, where else can you find BACON-FLAVORED POPCORN?!
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