Locked in a Room

Locked in a Room by Typo
Thread
Abortive Rape Quest crossover?

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"Tell me another story."

Plot Synopsis

Two people are seemingly stuck in an elevator, with one telling the other all the stories he can think of. Many of these stories sound pretty familiar.

However, the other individual in the elevator (Rachel) gets bored with these stories, and says he should tell a good story. The storyteller, being fed up with her whining, says that she should tell a story herself (though obviously TGChan supplies the real narrative). And hence our quest begins.

Chapters

• Prologue: Elevator
• Chapter 1: Javon Bssergal the Fluffy, and the Elusive Cherry Weasel
• Chapter 2: FLUFFY QUEST!

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Prologue: Elevator

• All chapters are actually contained within the same thread.

Here we get to know, very briefly, the two main characters of this quest. The unnamed storyteller, and the woman listening to the stories-- Rachel. After telling Rachel several familiar stories, she gets fed up with how boring they all are. Naturally the storyteller says that she should tell her own freakin' story then. And so she does so. Or rather, she makes /quest/ do all the work.

Chapter 1: Javon Bssergal and the Elusive Cherry Weasel

What comes next will sound as though it comes straight from the dreams of an eleven year old girl. It doesn't, of course, but it will sound like it.

After asking /quest/, the character is determined to be a "Sergal", though it's how someone who has never heard of a Sergal would imagine it to be. It is named Javon Bssergal. Javon is in the Dessert Mountains (no, not Desert Mountains) hunting for his favorite food-- the elusive Cherry Weasel. SUDDENLY, Javon meets a magical bishounen demon holding a mysterious orb, who then... promptly vanished, because Rachel couldn't think of anything for him to say. But the orb made him start hearing voices. Voices that told him to dance. And so he did.

Then Javon is told to put on a skirt to attract Cherry Weasels, but Javon does not have a skirt. So Javon resolves to get a skirt.

Chapter 2: FLUFFY QUEST!

Javon, knowing now his real quest, vows not to rest until he has vanquished a Pie Panther and made it into a skirt. How he plans to do this on an empty stomach is apparently not much of a factor. Venturing into the nearest cave, he finds the Pie Panther-- and also finds that it is bigger than he originally thought.

However, that does not stop the fantastically talented Javon! He attempts to make the Pie Panther his steed, which works. Sort of. Insomuch as he starts riding the Pie Panther like a mechanical bull. Very shortly thereafter, we find Javon sitting happily in a pool of pie filling-- Javon decided the best way to defeat a panther made of pie is to, obviously, eat it. Of course, now Javon is not so hungry.

After a failed attempt to use the pie filling to leave a cryptic message in the cave, Javon discovers he has actually eaten the mysterious orb. Definitely a smart idea, that. But apparently the focus is no longer to find the elusive Cherry Weasel. It is to defeat his dreaded arch-nemesis, Maximilian Autarch.

Maximilian Autarch is an angry bald man in a suit, who has a lot of connections. Javon is a tiny fluffy thing, who apparently plots the death of angry bald men in suits. As of yet, we don't exactly know WHY. But then, Javon is frightening already. He's basically an animate Furby who devoured a Pie-Filled Panther Effigy whole.

Javon lays out his complicated plot to assassinate Autarch, involving bazookas and silver bullets. Of course Javon, having none of the tools necessary for this, has to formulate a plan to even do the first plan.

Obviously, we are dealing with an unparalleled mastermind.

Even more proof for that point comes immediately after, when /quest/ suggests he fly over the forest and into Baldsburg. Javon happily complies, and realizes after that he has no wings. So Javon falls into the forest, scrambling quickly to get out. Somewhat surprisingly, he succeeds. Many a suggestion is made on how to get past the forest and into Baldsburg, and the only one that Javon finds even "remotely sensible" is burning it all down. How very lovely, you fluffy adorable thing. And this is where Javon falls asleep, presumably dreaming of setting the entire world on fire.

Upon waking, the voices remind Javon of his mission and instruct him to find a Jelly Lion. Because obviously the whole "food-based animal as noble steed" idea works out wonderfully. Upon finding the fabled Jelly Lion, Javon jumps headlong into it in an attempt to control it by will alone. This doesn't work out as well as planned. Also, he starts suffocating!

But by swimming up into the Jelly Lion's brain, he is able to control it directly and guide it into and out of the forest. Well, into it, anyway. But Javon himself is able to make it out alive. And the first order of business is to find towns BUY GUNS.

See also

An April Fool's Edition, by MidKnight.