Rachel Puzzle

From tgchan

Rachel Puzzle by SelphieCan'tDraw

Something something arranged marriage or whatever. By SelphieCan'tDraw.


Spoiler.gif This article contains spoilers! You were warned.

Chapter One


Filbert Flinglesmith Fubar Pifflepaddleolopous III and IV + LXXIX

Apparently the Fae Lord of Jinx. Normally called Fubar for short. Could also be known as Edward Wong Hau Trivurusky III, but isn't. Of an uncertain gender. Nobody likes Fubar because he/she/it is irritating.

Current status unknown, presumably having a good laugh at all this.

Teardrop of Infinite Psyche

Also known as Gion, short for Legion. A rather scratched and cracked gemstone that has been cut into a very nice teardrop shape. Stolen from the Goblin Market and set into a very fetching silver necklace.

Currently in the possession of Rachel Puzzle and party.

Rachel Puzzle

Our heroine. A female human and certified librarian who is about 5'2" tall. Possesses all her arms and legs, as well as a head. Wears underthings. Born on the 12th day of Winter 18 years ago. Practices fencing, plays the piano and helps her mother out with alchemy in her spare time. Loves reading, collecting obscure knowledge and bubble baths. Winner of 2 Baronial fencing champions (under 18s division). Possesses long blond hair and blue eyes. No longer wears spectacles. Easily distractable. Has a rudimentary understanding of Princess Nadia's sign language.

Currently resting in the room of an inn due to horse-sickness.


A maid with a large girth. Responsible for bringing breakfasts to Rachel. Has some sort of relationship with a castle guard and some guy named Francis. Or possibly a castle guard named Francis (ah hah!). Does not have a strong mind and faints easily when overwhelmed.

Last seen naked, tied up with silk rope and gagged in a Rachel's bed. This is not quite as kinky as it sounds.

Princess Nadia

A blind and mute princess. Looks exactly like Rachel. Seems to have had a fairly sheltered and isolated life, but is actually an intelligent spymaster. Speaks with her own sign language. She has no interest in the throne, but is unhappy with the way High Prince Jonathan has been handling things.

Currently assisting Rachel Puzzle in escaping from prison.

Lord Blackheath

Also known as the Barbarian King. Has a reputation for horrifically maiming his multiple wives.

Currently maiming his multiple wives.

Prince Adrian

Crown prince of the realm. Does not have a reputation for horrifically maiming his multiple wives because he is single. Has red hair, green eyes and freckles. Apparently possesses a nice butt. Prince Adrian's meddling in Rachel's life was meant to protect his sister. His plan was to help Rachel escape so that she could could take Princess Nadia with her and prevent both of them from being married to the Barbarian King.

Last seen talking to Princess Nadia just before her flight from the palace. Remained behind as a quiet opposition to High Prince Jonathan.

High Prince Jonathan

Brother to the late King Gifford. The High Prince Johnathan has been a naughty man. Years of plotting on his part has led to this moment. Now, he is trying to rid himself of Adrian and Nadia so that he can take the throne proper.

Currently plotting evil plots.

King Gifford and Queen Adriana

Ex-rulers of the Kingdom and parents of Prince Adrian and Princess Nadia.

Currently six feet under.


There are two. They have armour and spears.

Currently thinking perverted thoughts about Meredith.


She washes clothes.

Currently still washing clothes.


Princesses have been guarded by female guards ever since the incident with Crown Princess Joy during the reign of King Kenneth III. Her brother, King Kenneth IV, ascended the throne in 1205 and considered chastity belts and male guards to unreliable for obvious reasons. They tried to get eunuchs for a while, but there were no volunteers. The order of the Ninja Maids was started by King Tiffany (Don't ask) and is a secret order made for the guarding of Princesses. This maid is one of them. She has a killer right hook.

Nina is the leader of the ninja maids that are loyal to Princess Nadia and Princess Nadia alone.

Currently gathering information on Princess Nadia's "kidnapping".


Also a ninja maid. Self-proclaimed perfect shot with the blow dart.

Currently advising Princess Nadia on the facts of life.

Madam Puzzle

Rachel's mother. A scientist with a rather frivolous view of life. Is not married.

Currently snoozing.


They are rats. They like cheese. Where the cheese goes, they will follow. All hail the cheese.

A Horse

A horse. It has an appreciation of music?

A Stableboy

A stableboy. Fed the horse a sugar cube. Wishes he could get a kiss from the cute blonde girl but being richer beyond all reason is good enough.

Teardrop Abilities and Rapport

The teardrop has the ability to have limited senses depending on the person it's attached to and the amount of rapport it has with said person. A current list of abilities is as follows.

Rachel Puzzle

Teardrop Rapport: 4

Teardrop Ability: Minimap - A mini-map is formed in Rachel's head for the teardrop's benefit. It contains only the things that Rachel has noticed or finds particularly interesting.


Teardrop Rapport: -1

Teardrop Ability: Overload - The teardrop can cause Meredith to faint by overloading her brain with music.

Princess Nadia

Teardrop Rapport: 3

Teardrop Ability: Mental Dump - The teardrop can lift limited amounts of information from Princess Nadia's mind and dump them in other people's minds. There is some pain involved.

A Horse

Teardrop Rapport: N/A

Teardrop Ability: William Tell - The teardrop can play music to the horse.

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