Joandventure/John

Your hair cannot possibly measure up to this regal, lofty, or stately dignity; imposing character; grandeur.

Has huge beauty and remarkably prestigious hair.

Quite obviously the most important character on the entire Questden and in Joandventure.

Huge Beauty

What it means

John bathing in the blood of 300 fa/tg/uys to supplement her Huge Beauty.

John has huge beauty.

Disagreements

None claim to disagree.

None can objectively disagree.

Remarkably Prestigious Hair

What it means

John's hair needs lots of brushing to retain its Remarkable Prestige.

John has remarkably prestigious hair.

Jealousy

A lesser being, clearly infuriated by its inferior hair.

This tends to cause jealousy in those of puny hair.

Intellectual powers

Practical effect

John explaining facts.

John is always right.

Proof

Objective studies by impartial researchers.

This can be scientifically proven without fail. All scientists agree.

Communism

As well as her restrained reasoning.

Communism shatters before John's huge beauty and remarkably prestigious hair.

Gallery

Official

BEHOLD THE HUGE BEAUTY AND REMARKABLY PRESTIGIOUS HAIR OF JOHN.

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  Frugal Spender
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  Tender Lover
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  An avatar of humility.
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  Eating some characters in a insignificant Quest none quite remember.
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  John then...
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  ...and now. As one can easily see, John's Huge Beauty has only magnified over time.
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  All wish to hug John. Few ever will. Even fewer will survive.
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  John gently correcting a person who has been wrong.
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  A rhetorical question. All are lesser (except The General).
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  John is racially tolerant.
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  Unlike communists, John has higher understanding of the inherent value of a proper pint.
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  Lesser beings do not have the advanced mental capacity to know Metsatöll.
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  To disappoint John is to know despair.
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  John never wastes natural resources.
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  Adolf Knigger is irrelevant, but John knows what good salted beef is.
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  No, John is not laughing WITH you.